Spluggorth Tracker and Registry

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 8:31 pm

darkmax wrote:Why? I'll get a Splurgorth as a bonus?!

No, that's COD...'CONQUER On Delivery'
If you're lucky, you might get an Altaran...

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 9:13 pm

Just one problem with that little package. It has to be delivered by some super lifting capacity vehicle to lift a compressed sploogie!

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 9:51 pm

And then you hope your local apartment complex has something which can uncompress the item arriving. Of course with that you have another little problem. What if when it uncompresses that there is not enough room for it!

"Honey; I'm uncompressing that thing you ordered thru the postal service."

:::The sound of humming electronics as a device which uncompresses items is activated. There is the sound of furniture being crushed and shoved aside by something very large uncompressing. Further sounds of a major structural member of the house being torn away from the foundation. And a stifled scream ends abruptly.:::

"Dear Don't uncompress it inside the house.......... (After hearing the sounds of destruction below) it's you brand new birthday yacht.

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 10:39 pm

And maybe not. If he's a cute she might make him her slave. But who is going to sell and altess. There aren't that many out there that have that sort of resources.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Oct 31, 2006 3:55 pm

darkmax wrote:hmm... menage a troi!! Oh yes, you could always use him/her as a walking ATM....

Somehow I feel that Altess have entire planetary armies of lawyers....and they can always buy a few million RepoBots....

Kryzbyn · Unread post by **Kryzbyn** » Tue Oct 31, 2006 10:44 pm

Googlecrynnth: Official Splugorth minister of information. He has single handedly (tentacled-ly?) revolutionized imformation retrieval and storage systems for the splugorth.

"Hey Splynn...what's the goin rate for Velociraptors on Center? We just got a batch in from Florida."

"Bah...I dunno off the top of my eye...Google it."

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Tue Oct 31, 2006 11:12 pm

ROFLMAO!!!! Great addition!! :lol:

Kryzbyn · Unread post by **Kryzbyn** » Wed Nov 01, 2006 12:33 am

Johnteshynnth: A splugorth that is mildly tolerated by the others. Not really good at anything, and usually just gets in the other splugorth's way.

"But Splynn I can play a piano!!"

"Who the f**k cares?"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Nov 01, 2006 6:37 pm

darkmax wrote:Now a truly artistically talented Splugorth! That's a rarity!

Well, I guess we can't count the ancient Splugorth muscial instrument the Screamiano that goes through about 250 slaves a performance....

But...I'm getting mind-boggling images of the sort of instruments a single Splugorth could and WOULD play....rune, probably...which raises the horrible spector of the Rune Kazoo and the Squeezebox of the Apocalypse...not to mention the DRead Bagpipes of Balabaroooooonnnn....

Then there's Aetnythh....Splugorth overlord of Insurance...once you sign on to the policy and start making payments...he OWNS you...

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Wed Nov 01, 2006 10:19 pm

I think I remember seeing it's little cousin on MOnty Python years ago. Something about mice and a hammer.

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Thu Nov 02, 2006 12:51 am

Or a door to door vacuum salesperson. Imagine the surprise of some poor person opening their door and theirs a sploogie trying to sale vacuums.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Nov 02, 2006 6:28 pm

Rune Vaccums? Capable of cleaning the toughest of stains, removing animal hair, and removing obstinate children from in front of the tele...

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Thu Nov 02, 2006 9:46 pm

ROFLMAO!!! Good ones! :lol:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 6:56 pm

darkmax wrote:And I thought the Universal Remover will do just that.....

There are many paths to cleanliness....

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 9:14 pm

Taalismn Wrote

There are many paths to cleanliness....

That is very true.............Grasshopper!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Nov 04, 2006 11:18 am

darkmax wrote:Oh mine! We bringing in the not-so-Chinese-Shaolin-monk, are we?!

Promethean, actually...Master of Sudden-Violent-Bodily-Compression Martial Arts....and Megacosmic Fortune Cookie Calligraphy...

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Nov 04, 2006 12:47 pm

darkmax wrote:
taalismn wrote:Promethean, actually...Master of Sudden-Violent-Bodily-Compression Martial Arts....and Megacosmic Fortune Cookie Calligraphy...

That would be the Secret Art of Extreme Packing (practiced for millions of years by the monks working for the Galactic Courier Express and Universal Parcel Service), and the Forbidden Art of Ghost Writing (Widely used by 20th and 21st centuries' doctors and scientists)

Millions of years? Is that why it takes so long for my DVDs to get mailed to me?

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Nov 04, 2006 1:00 pm

darkmax wrote:Oh ! That's just the postmaster, Thraxus.

Agh...so much for privacy, then....I was wondering why my blackmail expenses were so high this fiscal quater-millenia....

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Nov 04, 2006 1:33 pm

darkmax wrote:Now you know.

AGH!!!!I WAS BLISSFULLY IGNORANT!!!!
NOW I SEE THE TENTACLES OF THE SPLUGORTH, NARUNI, AND THE MEGAVERSAL BLACK MARKET EVERYWHERE!!!!!
Evolution from a simple single-celled life form has broken me with forbidden knowledge :cry:

!!!

Rockwolf66 · Unread post by **Rockwolf66** » Sat Nov 04, 2006 9:02 pm

Malinekryth:
Splugorth Rune weapon Specialist. in addition for the rune weapons that the Splugorth are known Malinekryth has turned at least one Pantheon of gods into rune weapons. Currently suffering from attacks by groups of adventurers hired by unknown parties.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Nov 04, 2006 9:02 pm

Yes...when the Golden Apple hits, it hits like a rail gun-driven brick....

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Sun Nov 05, 2006 4:28 am

Of course he could be a clone. One of the ones we were talking aobut earlier on another thread.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Nov 05, 2006 6:21 pm

Rockwolf66 wrote:Malinekryth:
Splugorth Rune weapon Specialist. in addition for the rune weapons that the Splugorth are known Malinekryth has turned at least one Pantheon of gods into rune weapons. Currently suffering from attacks by groups of adventurers hired by unknown parties.

Either weak Pantheons ("Really? You converted a whole Pantheon of Gods and Goddesses of CHEESE into rune weapons? THat must be some pretty impressive cheese-slicers!") or this is one BAAAADDDD dude you don't wanna cross.."Hey, Father John! Doesn't that sword look like your patron goddess?" "NNNNNNOOOOOooooooooooo!!!!!!!!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Nov 05, 2006 6:22 pm

darkmax wrote:Hmm.... Being John Malkovich....

Oh great...I'll never look at the guy the same way again!
And we thought THoth's problems with a 'Heart of Darkness' were bad!

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Mon Nov 06, 2006 3:48 am

And a clone is a clone.

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Mon Nov 06, 2006 8:11 pm

Yes it can. Maybe they transfered the sploogies brain pattern into the clone of John Malkovich.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Nov 07, 2006 3:44 pm

It would also explain his baleful look and odd behavior...imagine trading in a massive multi-limbed body with near omnipotent powers for a fragile ugly naked ape that's constantly in danger of falling down and is limited to five senses....

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Tue Nov 07, 2006 10:44 pm

Well maybe that's where claustrophobia comes from!

Rockwolf66 · Unread post by **Rockwolf66** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 3:08 pm

taalismn wrote:Either weak Pantheons ("Really? You converted a whole Pantheon of Gods and Goddesses of CHEESE into rune weapons? THat must be some pretty impressive cheese-slicers!") or this is one BAAAADDDD dude you don't wanna cross.."Hey, Father John! Doesn't that sword look like your patron goddess?" "NNNNNNOOOOOooooooooooo!!!!!!!!"

The inspiration for this particulat Entity is a woman who is known as Malinche

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 6:21 pm

Rockwolf66 wrote:
taalismn wrote:Either weak Pantheons ("Really? You converted a whole Pantheon of Gods and Goddesses of CHEESE into rune weapons? THat must be some pretty impressive cheese-slicers!") or this is one BAAAADDDD dude you don't wanna cross.."Hey, Father John! Doesn't that sword look like your patron goddess?" "NNNNNNOOOOOooooooooooo!!!!!!!!"

The inspiration for this particulat Entity is a woman who is known as Malinche

Rockwolf, that's inspired digging..and retention of obscure information...which is often the best source of inspiration!

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 9:12 pm

Very interesting! I'd forgotten about her from history.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Nov 09, 2006 6:42 pm

darkmax wrote:I've never even heard of her!

The Palladium Channel....A round-about way of learning history and expanding your horizons...

"But how many dice-damage does she do?!"

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Thu Nov 09, 2006 8:46 pm

That is a good question!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Nov 10, 2006 4:17 pm

Made her Seduction roll!

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Fri Nov 10, 2006 10:45 pm

Good onme Darkmax!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Nov 11, 2006 4:50 pm

darkmax wrote:Hey I don't see why not, just like those from Aphrodite and the other goddesses of love.

Divinity hath its perks....

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Nov 12, 2006 3:57 pm

New Splugorth:

Lucocyrthh---Lucocyrthh is a Splugorth with a specialization and a mission---exterminating Vampire Intelligences....fully 50% of his resources are tied up in the pursuit and destruction of vampires. The Splugorth has taken teh continued existance of the Vampires as an insult to the Splugorth species, and he means to remedy the oversight of his people in obliterating the blood-sucking vermin. His realm turns out some of teh most devout and expert vampire-slayers in the Three Galaxies(maybe the Megaverse) and his minions are constantly researching new ways to detect and slay vampires.
Lucocyrthh however is not entirely altruistic; most upper-echelon Vampire Minions surround themselves with the trappings of affluence and influence, and Lucocyrthh has discovered that there's profit to be had in looting the undead....gathering a bonus from hiring out to vamp-beseiged kingdoms, and then often-times moving in and taking over a Vampire's empire....If the vampire's slaves aren't too badly drained and beaten up, Lucocyrthh isn't above enslaving them, after fixing them up...after all, he just saved them from a slow, painful death, right? Who are they to protest life in marginally better servitude?
Lucocyrthh is also not above using entire populations as bait to concentrate vampire hordes and to trick the Intelligences into giving away his presence...and he's not above sacrificing hordes of Minions to get results...He supposedly once had a team of iron golems carry a captive Water Warlock into the den of Vampires....The Warlock either killed all the vampires, or he died in the process.
Lucocyrthh is generally seen by other Splugorth as a minor player in their power games, but he serves a useful purpose, so they often hire him when they have a vampire problem in their own realm, and throw him material support. He hasn't yet heard of the vampire problem on Rifts Earth(Splynncryth is keeping mum on details of the world, but knowledge is leaking out), but it would be interesting to speculate what his reaction might be to Doctor Reid and his zealots.

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Mon Nov 13, 2006 3:25 am

I wonder if that sploogie might be the one who uses Celtic Cross shaped starships.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Nov 13, 2006 3:36 pm

Aramanthus wrote:I wonder if that sploogie might be the one who uses Celtic Cross shaped starships.

You got it! One thread inspires work on another!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Nov 13, 2006 3:39 pm

darkmax wrote:hmm..... I'm going to design a celtic cross ship.... what should I name it as?

Dunno...a Celtic Saint maybe?
Or a nasty-sounding Kittani name meaning something like "Sign of Burning Light', 'Rain of Purification'(Purifier) or 'Crusher of Evil'?

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Nov 13, 2006 3:49 pm

darkmax wrote:Hmm... how about Druidic D'Light?!

That's obviously a mistranslation from the original Kittani...the translator must be beaten at once...

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Mon Nov 13, 2006 11:13 pm

LOL Nice ship too! I like how it sort reflects the local star.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Nov 14, 2006 2:43 pm

That...is a thing of beauty....
You captured it well....
Now we need some volunteers to stat out your creations!
:ok:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Nov 14, 2006 2:52 pm

Craeful what you do for fun...one thing can lead to another....
Any of these threads for instance....
From idle thoughts grow massive undertakings...from "I wish...to it could be done...to it WILL be done...to IT WILL BE DONE BIGGER..."
And thus we get World Books...

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Nov 14, 2006 4:33 pm

Winter wrote:
darkmax wrote:yes I can see that.... problem lies with whose skirt is it going to chase after? Do we even know if Splugorths have sexes?

Come on people lets not go there huh, yeesh

:

Yes, let's not go down roads already marked 'condemned'....

Many THree Galaxies expeditions to determine the sex of Splugorth have been mounted....few have returned, and of those, the survivors are inevitably comitted to sanitoriums, gabbling maddly or else looking into the distance with longs of horror etched on their features...

It is said that not even Great Cthulu dares inquire as to what goes on behind closed dorrs in a Splugorth's inner sanctum...

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Nov 14, 2006 5:30 pm

darkmax wrote:Only the great Aphrodite will know.....

Oh yeah...there's always that threat looming on the horizon...if Eros does succeed...(or maybe that annoying little trouble maker Cupid).

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Tue Nov 14, 2006 10:55 pm

All I'm going to say is Aphrodite must have a strong stomach to help sploogies find love. And Cupid must have blinders if he has to shoot a sploogie with one of his arrows. :shock:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Nov 15, 2006 7:10 pm

Just remember...the Palladium version of Cupid is an annoying little bugger who delights in inciting lust between incompatible people for the sheer pleasure of watching the anguish, heartache, arguments, divorces, abuse, and murder that follow his little 'love shots'...

Anyone wants to give him a case of plasma-burn diaper-rash, feel free to open fire...

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Wed Nov 15, 2006 10:37 pm

That is true!

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Thu Nov 16, 2006 4:36 am

I go where I have too! I always have!