Robotech Blooper Reels

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Sat Feb 02, 2008 4:01 am

Scott::: "Does that mean he hasn't had the talk about the "Birds and bees? Ummm. Maybe we could talk Ariel to help me in that discussion with Rand."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Feb 02, 2008 5:12 pm

batlchip wrote:Ahhh,death by snu-snu.That's a great one
Lancer walking up to scott:I think you need to have a talk with rand.
scott:Why?
Lancer:Because every time I take a bath rand's watching me with weird eyes.

Scott: "Rand...we gotta have a ta---Rand, what happened to your eyes?!"
(Rand's looking at him, sorta....one eye is spinning madly in its orbit, the other is dilated into one big black iris)

Rand: "Sorry, Scott...that last Gurab-clobber kinda knocked my eyes out of focus...now every time I try to look at Rook, I gotta look forty-five degrees in another direction..."

Scott: "...er...why didn't you say something?.."

Rand: "Like what...'every time I have to take a leak, guys, I have to use binoculars backwards in order to see what I'm doing'?"

Scott: "...too much information..."

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 4:44 am

ROFLMAO!!! And I agree! Please keep them coming!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 6:25 pm

"Will the owner of the MAC III, serial number 423247, please move your mecha? Will the owner of ..."

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 6:27 pm

LOL! I can see that one happening!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 6:45 pm

Karen Penn: "Nice goatee, Jack."
Jack Baker: "Thanks, but I'd rather not have it."
Penn:"Why not? It helps hide your face."
Baker: "Hah-hah...truth it, I keep getting it caught in my helmet seal....you ever had chin hairs ripped out?"
Penn: "I wax my legs, you baby..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 6:45 pm

Karen Penn: "Nice goatee, Jack."
Jack Baker: "Thanks, but I'd rather not have it."
Penn:"Why not? It helps hide your face."
Baker: "Hah-hah...truth is, I keep getting it caught in my helmet seal....you ever had chin hairs ripped out?"
Penn: "I wax my legs, you baby..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 6:49 pm

Penn: "You ever have a sudden feeling of deja vu?"
Baker: "Like somebody's recycling story lines? Or that we're reliving the same moment over again?"
Penn: "Both."
Baker: "Yep...and in that case, I'd like to relive our date from last Tuesday..."
Penn: "When the waiter accidentally spilled boiling hot soup into your lap, or when the drunken Karbarrean mistook you for his brother-in-law and hurled you into the lobster aquarium?"
Baker: "I was trying to forget THOSE parts of that night, thank you."

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 9:28 pm

ROFLMAO!!! That was a great one! I know who they are, but for second it reminded me of something else. Please keep them coming!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 9:44 pm

Maia: "Okay, you alien bastards! EAT MISSILES---oops...guys, I'm in trouble.."
Marcus: "What happened!?"
Maia: "I just found out the techs in R&D have been using the test flioghts of these things to chill their beers...that was a load of kegs I just tried to paste one of those attackers with..."

Haydonite Fighter: "But I said I wanted a BUD Lig--!"*SMASH!*

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 10:03 pm

ROFLMAO!! That is funny! I think about that in Phase World whenever they mention Bottle demons.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 3:10 pm

Haydonite Commander: "The human fleet has assembled to oppose us. Excellent. Activate the disruptor."
Haydonite: "I'm sorry, I can't do that, Dave..."
Commander: "...'DAVE'?! What the ^&^&*&!!!???"
Haydonite 2: "I suspect Veidt has been corrupted by his contact with the humans...Request permission to deactivate him."
Veidt: "...daisy...daisy...give me your answer trrruuueee...."

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 7:34 pm

LOL That is another great one! PLease keep them coming!

DhAkael · Unread post by **DhAkael** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 10:04 pm

Interior of the SDF-1; first investigation lead by Cpt. Gloval and Lt. Fokker.

Gloval (at breach in side of the crashed alien ship, looking at Roy Fokker who has point): "What do you see Lt.?"

Fokker: "...My god...it's full of...nothing really. This thing is junkedaeeeeiiiiiiii....." *Slips on greeze patch and slides down a LOOOONNNG way*

-Thud-

Gloval: "Roy?! ROY! Can you hear me? Can you see anything!"

Fokker: "...Starrrrrrrsssss..."

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 11:19 pm

LOL! That was a great one DhAkael! Please keep them coming!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Feb 07, 2008 7:11 pm

"Open the hangar bay doors, Lisa.."
"No, Rick."
"I repeat; Open the hangar bay doors, Lisa!"
"I'm sorry, Rick, I can't do that."
"Just open the ^%*^%*!! hangar bay doors, Lisa!"
"Rick, just apologise to her already...we go through this EVERY time she gets upset!"

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Thu Feb 07, 2008 11:50 pm

ROFLMAO!! Poor Rick! Lisa doesn't need competition from Minmei. Rick messes it up bad enough for two.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Feb 08, 2008 2:35 pm

Lisa Hayes---What the animation DOESN'T show...
*WHUNCH*
*THUD*
"Mister, you and --AAAiieee!"*THUD*
WHUMP"Ofh!"
*KLLLONNNGGGG*
"OOPS_AHHGGG!!!"WHAM
*SHUDDER*
*CRUNCH*
"Oohhgh noooooo!!!!!"
"Ow,,,,,"
*SLLIIFFF!*
*GOOONNNGGGG*
"NNNotttttt agggaaaaainnnn!!!!"
"AIEEGHHH!!!"
*SLAM*
*FWHIPFWHIPFWHIP"
"OOOOOOOyyyyyyyyyyyy......."*GUNCH*
"AAhhhhh...."*splash* "MAN OVERBOARD!!!"
---Rapid succession shots of Lisa Hayes running into various objects, tripping, prat-falling, landing on her backside(only her legs visible), tripping-running into walls, getting run over by a Petit-Cola machine, falling off the edge of one of the SDF-1's supercarrier arms....Occasionally we see her co-actors and camera crew caught in a moment of reaching out, too late, caught in the midst of shouting a warning, or wincing in sympathy...
"I'm okay! Really!"
(Shot of Rick Hunter shaking his head as his co-star is being helped off stage by the EMTs)
Rick: "Lisa....great actress...great voice, sense of presence...(offcamera *WHUNCH*"...owwwiiieee...")....utter physical klutz...."

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Fri Feb 08, 2008 6:53 pm

ROFLMAO!!! That was a great one! :lol:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Feb 08, 2008 9:10 pm

"....and about Max....ace pilot? If it wasn't for green screen shots, he wouldn't have survived at ALL! Do you know how many times he came in and tried to land with his gear still up?
Miriya...she was actually triplets....can you believe it? Yeah, I know..."Tirolians Always Come in Threes".....And her sisters liked to visit on the set....Yep, one even body-doubled for her in the Micronization Chamber scenes...Helped having an identical sister who was a swimsuit model...NO body-modesty...Mir being rather sensitive about post-partum stretch marks and all, having her twin around for that sort of thing was REAL handy....Problem is, her sis tended to walk around in less than she wore for that scene...Quite an eyefull, and it led to a LOT of misunderstandings....And Sister Three? She'd kick your arse if you looked at her funny...Rumor is, she'd go cruising bars and back alleys looking for thugs to trash....Don't know where the bad attitude came from, but Claudia tells me she got passed up for the role of 'Priss' in BubbleGum Crisis and never got out of character...Or maybe the character was BASED on her...I dunno...The whole set was crazy like that..."

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Sat Feb 09, 2008 1:45 am

ROFLMAO!!! That was a great one! Now that would be a set to be on with Miriya's sister!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Feb 09, 2008 11:11 am

"At least you weren't there when Gloval fought Patrick Stewart for the role of Captain Piccard..."

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Sun Feb 10, 2008 4:38 am

LOL Watch out Henry for the PIccard manuever! (The Piccard manuenver from my opinion is watching a balding older man pick up a very cute woman at the bar you wwere interested in but she chose him over you.)

AuroraKet · Unread post by **AuroraKet** » Sun Feb 10, 2008 11:11 am

Aramanthus wrote:LOL Watch out Henry for the PIccard manuever! (The Piccard manuenver from my opinion is watching a blading older man pick up a very cute woman at the bar you wwere interested in but she chose him over you.)

*marks that down at Version 3 of the Picard Maneuver*

Version 2 always used to be pulling down the top from the bottom of itafter standing up, or in any other random situation. teehee

But yeah. Considering that baldness was voted sexy at least once before, definite problem

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Feb 10, 2008 3:38 pm

Robotech---Unfair to Bald People!
Why?
Who do we have as examples of Bald People in Robotech?
Dolza
Field Marshal Leonard
The Robotech Masters
The Regis.

All bad, bad, BAD!!!!

Write Harmony Gold...Shadow Chronicles MUST have more positive bald-headed role models!

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 4:10 am

Don't forget the Regent was also bald.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:31 am

Yeah..but he was a SLUG.
We make allowances for slugs...
Ever seen a hairy slug?
Didn't think so....

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Tue Feb 12, 2008 3:09 am

That is what Morton's salt is for!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Feb 12, 2008 4:25 pm

THe Edwards-Regent secret negotiations go terribly wrong....

Edwards: "Some refreshments, perhaps, Regent, while we discuss how best to deal with our 'Sentinel Problem'?"

Regent: "Certainly! I conquer best on a full stomach! Let's see what you got here---(gobble*munch8whhullff*)...Good, what is this called! It's tasti---WWWHHRROOOUUWWWGGGG!!!*GASP*GACK!*ACK!...P-O-I-SOOOnnnnnn!!!!!!*THUD*"

(long pause)

Edwards: "Okay...make a note for negotiating with any more Invid bigwigs...NO salted peanuts..."

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Tue Feb 12, 2008 8:45 pm

ROFLMAO!!! That was great! Too bad Edwards didn't get his too!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Feb 13, 2008 10:24 am

Edwards' weakness is almonds....
"Feed me another grape, Minmei!"
"Got something better...open wide."
"Oh...yummm....what is it?"
"Brandy-candied almonds."
"...AALLMONNNDDDDSSSSS!!!?????"
"Why, yes....that's an interesting shade of green you're turning."

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Wed Feb 13, 2008 11:41 pm

Yahoo! Always happy to see Edwards get his end in an appropriate method!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Feb 14, 2008 6:59 pm

Edwards: "Let me just link with this Invid Brain, and we'll see who's boss! Yeah, baby, yeah! I can already FEEL the powe---YYYAAASRRRGGGHHHH!!!*fllutttzzz*..glorp...."
GhostRider: "What the heck just happened?! His brains are running out of his ears!!!"
Zand:"Lemme check...oh dear..."
GHostriders: "WWWHAAATTT???!!!"
Zand: "Different mental voltage....he forgot to install a telepathic adaptor...First thing one should do when travelling away from home and you're unsure of compatible wattages between appliances..."

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Thu Feb 14, 2008 9:18 pm

LOL Always funny for see Edwards in deep doodoo!!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Feb 14, 2008 9:42 pm

Always happy to put him there....

"I blame you for abandoning me, Hunter!!!"
"Idiot.....you were standing right in front of the WELL-MARKED 'Express Escape Tube' door...in bright red and yellow neon paint and emergency flashers. Didn't you pay ANY attention to the Grand Cannon emergency procedures orientation tour, Edwards?!"

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Fri Feb 15, 2008 2:37 am

LOL Edwards always struck me as someone who should have been run over witha tank several times!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Feb 15, 2008 12:08 pm

"My animousity towards HUnter is personal, Benson. He's Fokker's little prodigy, and Fokker..."

*FLASHBACK: Pre-Global Civil War*

A much younger Edwards and Fokker are at a bar together, drunk out of their senses,,,they both have a beer...the same brand...in front of tehm, unopenned...Fokker reaches blearily in front of him, grabs the bottle in front of Edwards, and chugs it...EDwards follows Fokker's hand and...
EDwards:"Fokker, you bastard! You stole my beer! I'll get you for that filthy trick! I'll hound you into the sky and out of it! I'll track down your loved ones and exact a vile and painful vengeance on each every one of them before I die!"
Fokker: "..hey...it's just a beer...Look, there's one just like it...have it!"
Edwards: "I don;t want THAT oen! That's YOUR beer! I don't want YOUR beer! I don't want anything of YOURS! I want what's rightfully MINE! I want MY beer!"
Fokker: "Oh, that's MY beer? Ohkay...thanks.."(grabs other beer)
Edwrds:(going ultraviolet in rage)"FFFOOOKKKKEERRRRRR!!!!"

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Fri Feb 15, 2008 5:50 pm

ROFLMAO!!! That was funny! Good thing those guys are inlaws!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Feb 15, 2008 7:22 pm

Edwards: "Well, wasn't that fun? We've just whipped the REF's tail, made that punk Hunter look like a wuss, shattered most of Wolf and Skull squadrons, and just maybe even killed that b---h on the SDF-3! Life is good, wouldn't you say, precious?"
Minmei:(gritting teeth) "I have only one thing to say to you, Edwards...."
Edwards: "I can hardly wait to hear this, little dove..."
Minmei: "..... GUYVER!!!"

DhAkael · Unread post by **DhAkael** » Sat Feb 16, 2008 12:19 am

taalismn wrote:Edwards: "Well, wasn't that fun? We've just whipped the REF's tail, made that punk Hunter look like a wuss, shattered most of Wolf and Skull squadrons, and just maybe even killed that b---h on the SDF-3! Life is good, wouldn't you say, precious?"
Minmei:(gritting teeth) "I have only one thing to say to you, Edwards...."
Edwards: "I can hardly wait to hear this, little dove..."
Minmei: "..... GUYVER!!!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Feb 16, 2008 12:01 pm

Picture an outside point of view of the Icarus as Minmei goes all-out in BioBOosted mode....

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 3:46 am

ROFLMAO!! Was Edwards close to her? If so maybe she didn't need to use the main chest weapon. Of course if she did that would be cool! I'd love to see Edwards cooked like that.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 1:31 pm

Edwards: "Man, Minmei...get you in a good light...you've gotten UGLY!!!!...And did you put on some inches around your waist?"

Minmei:"...sonic blades...."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 1:39 pm

Another crossover that never happened...

#POPS!!!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME????!!!#

"Aiya! You fall in Spring of Drowned Alien Scout Mecha!"

Days later in Japan:

"Yeah, Pops...I'd give my LIFE for the Art, not my HUMANITY!"
"YOU BAKA!!!"(MALLET-SMASH) *Splash*FHHRROOONNNNNNNeeeeeeEEENNNN(sound of plasma cannons powering up)
"...oh spit....would it help to say I'm sorry?...."

"Be gone, foul beast! Behold the sword of the Kunos!"
*SCHINK*
# Come near me again and the you're a eunuch...#

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 6:15 pm

ROFLMAO!! That was an awesome Ranma 1/2 blooper! Please keep them coming!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 2:53 pm

"Lisa?"
"Yes, Claudia?"
"Are you feeling okay?"
"Why yes, Cluadia, why do you ask?"
"YOu MIGHT want to re-check some of the coordinate directions you're giving the squadron pilots..."
(POV: SDF-Bridge, from behind the two forward stations, looking out through the main bridge pane....
...There's planes flying every which way, colliding, slamming into the ground...and there's one(HUnter's plane of course) heading right at the bridge...the sounds of screams and curses can be heard coming thru the tac-net)

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Wed Feb 20, 2008 2:42 am

ROFLMAO!!! Recreation of the fight above the Death Star hovering over Endor in the "Return of the Jedi!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Feb 20, 2008 7:21 pm

Voice-Over: (...And the Robotech Characters were spared from a horrible fate when the skit writer suffered a massive coronary and collapsed on the floor, incapacitated, due to the failure of his HMO to spend the necessary money on medical tests and procedures that might have spotted the problem in time...
...and there was much rejoicing...

Of course, Brave Sir Rick and Brave Lady Lisa on the Good Ship SDF-1 soon ran short of supplies near Jupiter, and they were forced to eat Minmei and her music troupe, and there was even more rejoicing.)

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Thu Feb 21, 2008 2:37 am

In that situation I hear a ffamous line coming. "Luke I am your father!"

Of course in this situation it would be ....... "Lisa, I am your father.!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Feb 21, 2008 6:59 pm

Dairugger XV wrote:
Speaking as a US government acquisition administrator, I actually take offense to this one. We stopped using "lowest bid" quite some time ago and started using "best value" (which, in cases like the grand cannon, isn't necessarily the lowest bidder) as our basis of who gets the contract.

Sorry, it something that irks me these days.

My apologies.
It was the absurd impossibility that such a quality flaw might exist in a weapon as big and important as the Grand Cannon that was the punchline here..

But note when Robotech was written, back before the modern philosophy of government acquisition took hold...so a late Cold War/Global Civil War mentality might still have survived through sheer inertia...and part of the darker part of the Robotech saga is that the UWG represented the combined worst of the 'old guard', while the SDF-1 and RRG represented a far more flexible, dynamic, and responsible group with testing and contracting policies that were more in line with what you're familiar with...Fokker(as a test pilot) and Lang(as program head) certainly had a strong hand in making sure that anything they issued to the troops was tested to death before they approved it, and they had an elite group of acquisitions officers who thought along similar lines...

And despite the massive secrecy and investment in the Grand Cannon project, somebody surely cut a corner or two on minor details...And Admiral Hayes is surely experienced enough as an 'up through the ranks' commander and administrator to have run into his share of annoying problems in logistics and procurement, so he's got a healthy contempt for such behavior...

The Grand Cannon wasn't necessarily built (wholly) by American contractors...It was built by the UWG...
Main systems were built Ford-Tough to survive alien invasions, but piddling little things like inspection platforms not meant to survive a full power up, were probably less rigorously built...though not to such a degree..