taalismn wrote: "Roscoe for Prez...
Don't worry about American Homeland Security...His Zygorthian Death-Commando Squads will readily dispose of the enemies of this great nation of ours..OVERNIGHT."
What? Who told you about th... I mean, just hold REAL still for a few more second. Oh , and please try to ignore that red dot hovering about you... Clean up on isle three; I repeat, clean up on isle three, I have authorized the use of the industrial sized detergents.
taalismn wrote:"Roscoe Del'Tane for President...
When the call comes in the middle of the night, he'll go back to sleep...because by the time he picks up the phone, orbital bombardment will have already taken care of the problem."
Mwhua ha ha ha ha ha! I have hidden an ultra-powerful laser cannon on the moon. At my whim, I can call down firey death! The world shall be mine to command. I shall call it my death star and reign supreme over the mere mortals on this puny planet! :Cough: I mean, orbital weaponry? Why would I have those?
Aramanthus wrote:I'll support your candidacy Roscoe! What are your policies? Could you please cover them for us.
Soitently! First things first, all criminals shall be given a free tag implaneted into their lungs. This tag shall not only allow us to track them wherever they go, but to constrict their air passages, insuring their non-lethal incapacitation if they escape or if they are found to have gone back to their lives of crime. For repeat offenders, I will have a nice little pointless-work farm built in the middle of the dessert. A nice little place where the 'workers' will do nothing other than dig holes and fill them in, day in, day out for the rest of their lives. And if they don't meet the quota for holes dug and filled, they get put on half-rations for the next day.
Secondly, I shall make it mandatory for every person currently living in the US to buy at least ONE Palladium book, and hold masive tournements in place of sporting events. It would be way more resource efficient than say NASCAR, and just imagine the looks on the players faces when they're issued a set of regulation dice...
Third, I shall have my Secret Service members dress up as clowns, for no other reason than that it would be funny as all Hades to see that.
Fourth, I would cut off welfare unless the person could prove that they had been out looking for a job.
Fifth, I would bring back a lot of the old medival style punishments. Like floggings, PUBLIC floggins, and the stocks. Not things like amputations, just lots of those punishments that deal with humiliation and embaressing the culprit.
Sixth, all internet sites would be reworked. Those with non-family friendly content would go to special sites that could only be accessed with providing your social-security number (or some other government issued id, not full sure on this idea yet, not quite ripe yet).
Finally of the ideas off of the top of my head, I would offer tax breaks to big businesses if they provide large donations to homeless shelters and soup kitchens.
That's all I got for the moment. vaya can huevos! :Leaps onto the back of my trained attack moose and scampers off: Viva Le Cheese!