Suggestions for a Black Vault-like idea

[twingle93]

In my game, the PCs have finally entered the archives of their arch-enemies, and they find a series of filing cabinets that the PCs think contain the secret plans of the villians or vital clues. They might indeed, but first they have to sift through their bizare contents.

I need some ideas for what the filing cabinets might contain. Like in Black Vault, they can be humorous, dangerous, mind-boggling, or mundane. They may contain mementos of other plots, or be references to other genres or stories.

The cabinets themselves might open up into other dimensions or contain surprises themselves. They certainly contain evidence that the PCs have been monitored and manipulated by the villians the entire time.

Here are some ideas I've come up with so far:

Opening a file cabinet results in seeing the back of the PC’s head as he opens a filing cabinet.

A complete fictional series detailing the PCs adventures. Last book is blank.

Positronic brain.

In office notes.

The cabinet contains the contents of the PC’s pocket/backpack. If checked, the PC finds them empty, and must now replace them.

A coffee-cup, still warm.

Picture of PCs in a junkyard which is about of the size of the archives room. Rusted cars and other objects are roughly in the same arrangement as the objects in the archives room. The PCs are lying around, apparently drugged and hallucinating, while opening and closing filing cabinets. Scattered around are needles and other drug-related materials.

A half wound video tape.

A VCR is broken.

A severed robotic arm.

The filing cabinet opens onto flames and smoke.

The filing cabinet is empty, but opens unto a another filing cabinet.

The filing cabinet unlocks many filing cabinets and opens into another room of filing cabinets.

A chess set with the pieces carved to resemble the PCs on opposing sides of the board.

A million dollars in currency unknown to the PCs.

A corpse wrapped in plastic, it is a clone of one of the PCs

A withered human hand. it is the PC's as identified by wrist watch or jewelry.

A sack lunch that has been there for decades.

Photos and medical files of one of the PC's parents, detailing in the installation of various implanted chips.

Map of the archives area. Handwritten says “WAY OUT?” points to hidden door.



Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

[kirksmithicus]

Original artwork done by the PC as a child, with a psychoanalytical analysis report of the art work and the PC. Be sure to include such phrases as "chronic bed wetting", "Oedipus Complex", "deviant sexual behavior" and the like.

You could also add child hood possessions that the PC's lost as children, such as a teddy bear or other favorite item. "Holy cow! it's bobo my stuffed teddy bear with six eyes, I lost it when I was three".

[Captain Shiva]

There is a GURPS supplement called Warehouse 23 that has exactly the kind of source material you want.

[BookWyrm]

A silver-colored wand like device--with what appears to be a non-moving fan.
A collection of oddly shaped & colored squeeky toys.
A complete & preserved collection of a magazine called "Captain America comics".
A functioning key-chain remote car alarm. To what, nobody knows.
The complete works of William Shakespear, returned to their original context by Emperor Karl Prosek.
What appears to be some kind of pass-card, laminated, on a neck-lanyard, to someplace called 'Dragoncon'.
A copy of Grey's Anatomy, with complete annotations by some entity called Grishnakk; the title has been rewritten in a green 'ink' reading "Da Best Cook-Book Evar!"
A small pin-like item, in the shape of a silver arrowhead with a golden oval in back. There appears to be no way to attach it.
A bobble-head of Emperor Prosek. The tag reads: "NO"
An instruction manual for a Pre-Rifts technological device called a 'Colecovision'.

[King Chopper]

Opening the file cabinet, the Pc sees, nothing. Not just an empty cabinet, but the absence of everything, darkness without end, the void, the space between, and so on and so forth. The horror of it is, the PC has this urge, to jump in…..

[twingle93]

Latest version of the filing cabinet list:

If the PCs examine the filing cabinets roll on this table to determine the contents:
00-9% Special Filing Cabinet
10-19% Mundane
20-29% Useful
30-39% Interesting.
40-49% Confusing.
50-59% Dangerous.
60-69% Pivotal.
70-79% Personal
80-89% Bizarre
90-100%

Special Filing Cabinet:
01-3% The filing cabinet unlocks many filing cabinets and opens into another room of filing cabinets. Re-roll
04-7% The filing cabinet is empty, but opens unto a another filing cabinet. Re-roll for the contents.
08-11% Opening one cabinet causes it to suddenly sink into the floor (before anyone can look inside) and reveal another cabinet behind it. Re-roll.
12-15% A drawer that contains more drawers.
16-19% Several drawers that speak when opened, each saying things that correspond to the Seven Deadly Sins; i.e., one drawer will shout things like "Bring me seventeen hamburgers," one will shout "**** OR get out," one will shout nothing but threats, etc.
20-23% A drawer that makes an eerie whistling noise as the players get closer, until it becomes a scream when someone finally touches the handle. Upon opening, the lights go out and nothing happens.
24-27% A handle and keyhole embedded in a wall with no visible drawer. Pulling the handle does nothing. Looking through the keyhole shows only darkness.
28-31% A drawer that cannot be opened.
32-35% A portal to a mirror universe where everyone's gender is opposite. Staring for more than 2 seconds at the "reflections" cause them to swap. Only the janitor's closet mirror in the sub-basement allows them to swap back.
36-39% Opening a stuck drawer causes brick walls to appear flush against the other side of all doors and windows.
40-43% Empty, but for a recorded message that says aloud. "You have found the Cartel's delivery terminus. Bake and be merry!"
44-47% Opening the door to the cabinet results in a cord being pulled; this cord releases a brick, bucket of water, or other such implement that has been hidden in the rafters.
48-51% Absolutely nothing (something that will wig them out after they encounter everything else}.
52-55% A cabinet that has a second door which slams closed the second you open it. When you try to open the second door the first door slams shut. Only this time a note has appeared on it which says 'Please do not open this cabinet'. Rinse and repeat.

Mundane:
01-3% Drawer full of pieces of wood.
04-7% A stack of telephone books.
08-11% Inside are hundreds of notebook pages covered with what appears to be license-plate numbers and the make and colors of the automobiles that carry them, all written in an elegant, almost calligraphic handwriting.
12-15% Chewed gum cataloged by date swallowed and retrieved.
16-19% Lists of items found in various trachcans at scores of locations and dates.
20-23% Bulges with pages that seem to record the routes of pedestrians through the city streets, how long to the second they stayed in this or that store or restaurant, and so forth.
24-27% A sack lunch that has been there for decades.
28-31% The filing cabinet is filled with candy. All kinds. Filed away neatly.
32-35% A small fob watch in which the numbers are all out of order with a Hong Kong sticker saying "Adjusted"
36-39% A copy of Reefer Madness on DVD and a copy of "The Rock" starring Nicholas Cage and Sean Connery on VHS..
40-43% A simple smooth rock and a picture of "The Rock" Dwayne Johnson.
44-47% A single slice of fruitcake.
48-51% Huge, dusty books with hundreds of completely blank pages
52-55% Drawer filled with neatly filed fortunes from fortune cookies, cataloged by date, some being decades old
56-59% 23 empty liquor bottles from foreign countries.
60-63% 333 individually wrapped plastic knife-fork-spoon set.
64-67% A mint-in-sealed-box G1 Optimus Prime.
68-71% Scale model of Stonehenge.
72-75% Drawer full of bacon. A drawer full of mustard. A drawer full of toast.
76-79% A drawer full of misplaced objects. Like single socks, keys, etc
80-83% Four size 14 left jackboots
84-87% 7000 oval ball bearings. Opening the cabinet will spill these on the floor
88-91% A soccer ball filled with helium
92-95% One drawer filled to the brim with cheeze-its, and the one below that, wheat thins, and the one below that triscuts, and the one below that oreos
96-99% A copy of a porno mag with the pages stuck together
100% A copy of Wisden from 1967

Useful:
01-3% Anatomy charts of Dungeon's Denizens.
04-7% A series of maps indicating that the layout of the Dungeon's levels change occasionally.
08-11% A samurai sword with a helix-like symbol on the hilt.
12-15% A small box containing a single 9mm pistol, and 100 bullets of (seemingly) no importance.
16-19% A drawer with a game of Dorf Fortress running on the bottom. No matter how long the PCs search or how high they roll, they can't find out where the commands are coming from. Later, they encounter a real fortress of dwarves that is exactly like the game they observed, if they were paying attention.
20-23% Monitoring data on friendly NPCs, villains, and people that the PCs have never heard of.
24-27% A pair of glasses with one red lens.
28-31% Positronic brain from the first Servitor.
32-35% A severed robotic arm.
36-39% A bizarre humanoid skeleton. The long bones of the arms and legs are at least 6 feet long, while the body is barely 2 feet in length. The feet and hands have raptor-like talons. The skull is somewhat larger than a human's and has large fangs. The skull bears a piece of masking tape reading "NBA Project #23-5-666."
40-43% A robot assassin in a can. The can is rigged to open if the box is opened as normal rather than slowly, reaching in to remove the catch.
44-47% A bronze shortsword scaled for a twelve-foot-tall man.
48-51% A broken jar, a torch, and a shofar.
52-55% One gallon barrel of raw genetic material in a nutrient broth
56-59% A potassium 248 explosive space modulator.
60-63% A controller for a nintendo 64. Pushing any control on it will cause the building to rock.
64-67% A surgical scalpel with blood dried on it
68-71% A million dollars in currency unknown to the PCs.
72-75% A diamond the size of a man's fist.
76-79% A solid gold toilet in 1:19 scale.
80-83% The complete technical readout of a fully armed and operational space station. If run through a device that also has audio, an extended robotic shriek can be heard. If played slowly, the listener can also hear the sound of a respirator in the background.
84-87% Manila Folder of Holding: On a successful Spellcraft check, this seemingly normal manila folder will be revealed to be a Manila Folder of Holding. This magical item can hold thousands of sheets of paper and will automatically alphabetize and collate any documents placed within.

Interesting.
01-3% medicine bottle containing two gelatin capsules, one red and one blue.
04-7% DVDs of the fourth, fifth and sixth Indiana Jones films, apparently made every three years or so throughout the 1990s.
08-11% A round striped shield, with a star in the center. The filing cabinet will not open enough to pull it out.
12-15% A letter addressed to Scarlet O'Hara.
16-19% A copy of Finnegans Wake, with attached notes completely deciphering it.
20-23% A file containing various photos of skeletons. Some looking like they belong to Angels...others....Demons.
24-27% A mold of the head of one of the villains, and an outer mold for some kind of latex mask. Making a mask reveals it to be a decent likeness of the deputy mayor - who is about the same build as the villain in question.
28-31% Maps of Los Angeles, Hollywood, Santa Monica, Beverly Hills, and other municipalities, tinged with green mold but otherwise unmarred.
32-35% Clipped-out magazine articles detailing a major historical event (either real or from the plot of the adventure) with various terms highlighted.
36-39% The autopsy report on Rasputin
40-43% Receipts for everything. Everything. Rifling through them will reveal purchases going back decades for cat food, motor oil, cucumbers, wrist watches, dingo cubs, auto detailing, a tanning bed, countless jars of green olives, and the shroud of Turin.
44-47% A broken, and possibly useless, Mother Box.
48-51% What appears to be an early draft of the Declaration of Independence, with a subclause ceding control of America to the British Crown in the event of a French invasion.
52-55% A dinosaur egg that isn't fossilized or some living trilobites in a fishtank
56-59% A very old donkey jawbone. With very old bloodstains on it.
60-63% Stone tablet with five extra Commandments
64-67% An onyx signet ring. At first glance, the seal is a rampant lion, but when you look again, it's a pentacle.
68-71% A basket containing some coarse bread and some pieces of smoked fish. The bread and fish will always be somewhat fresh and edible, and there's always more.
72-75% A walking stick labeled "Rod of Correction, Jamaica 1973."
76-79% Hitler's Diary
80-83% Several unidentifiable animal skulls.
84-87% Original copies of the complete works of Shakespeare
88-91% A piece of the true cross
92-95% Photographic proof that Adam and Eve had navels.
96-99% A photograph of the Milky Way galaxy - taken from M31 in Andromeda
100% A pair of black leather gloves - with 6 fingers.

Bizarre:
01-3% Opening a file cabinets results in seeing the back of the PC’s head as she/he opens a filing cabinet.
04-7% The cabinet contains the contents of the PC’s pocket/backpack. If checked, the PC finds them empty, and must now replace them.
08-11% Sexual Harassment Panda, who jumps out, does his song and dance routine, then dives back in before the drawer snaps shut.
12-15% A small pile of snow unmelted.
16-19% Coffee cup, still warm.
20-23% 6 kilos and a midget chamber maid.
24-27% Drawer full of live ferrets.
28-31% One filing cabinet full of dwarves instead of drawers.
32-35% Drawer full of pure color; whoever opens it makes some sort of saving throw against being completely mesmerized by it.
36-39% A drawer that contains everybody's pants; once somebody looks inside it, everyone realizes they are no longer wearing pants.
40-43% The drawer contains a creepy old doll. Whoever opened the drawer is then followed for the rest of the campaign by this doll. At least once a session have that one PC go a spot check to find the doll, just have the DC be random, so its like the doll is just hiding somewhere in the room. The doll can be found only by that first PC who opened the drawer, but the rest of the PCs can see it after that first one points it out. No matter how many times the doll is destroyed, moved or anything, it always reappears.
44-47% The PC who opened the drawer sees himself staring back. If he looks again it will be empty.
48-51% One drawer, from which water begins to gush when opened. It only stops when they close it, and there is no apparent source (they can see through the water that there is nothing more to the drawer)
52-55% A complete fictional series detailing the PCs as they went through the Dungeon. Last book is blank.
56-59% A soup serving spoon with "use other side" engraved into the concave side.
60-63% An antique mirror that shows everything in the room except for the contents of a particular box.
64-67% A Girl Scout troop looking to sell cookies. Each girl scout has 1d30 hit points and will not stop unless rendered unconscious or frightened off.
68-71% A big red button marked DO NOT PRESS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE. If pressed, the PCs find themselves back outside the door they entered the room by. When they enter they find the room as it was when they first entered, except that a doll has been placed two meters in front of them, with as many tarot cards laid out in front of it as there are PCs. If the button is found and pressed again, repeat the process but change the tarot cards.
72-75% A small window looking out onto a room where a number of people are sitting around a table with dice and sheets of paper. Make sure the description matches your gaming group and the room you yourselves are currently playing in.
76-79% A Jack-in-the-Box, except that instead of music the PCs here the last conversation they had with each other.

Confusing:
01-3% A half wound videotape. They later find a VCR that does not play the tape.
04-7% Copy of the Bible. It is written backwards.
08-11% Packing peanuts shaped in 1s and 0s. Thousands of them. With a note that reads "Now you must arrange them in ORDER!"
12-15% A post-it note with "love is over" written on it.
16-19% A print-out from an old dot matrix printer, faded into near illegibility. It is titled "Phase 3 Kompt-Grammun Protocol Trial Participants"
20-23% A box of mint-on-card action figures for what appear to be legacy characters for local superheroes, including some of the PCs.
24-27% A small fob watch in which the numbers are all out of order with a Hong Kong sticker saying "Adjusted"
28-31% An edited video tape containing only video segments of the opening dialogue of "Days of our lives" episode broadcast on Wednesdays.
32-35% A wind-up toy in the likeness of one of the PCs.
36-39% A fresh batch of their dead grandmother's cookies.
40-43% The names of the people who really killed Kennedy, but with the document written in a language that none of the players speak.
44-47% A drawer of seemingly ordinary sheet music.
Several options here:
-Only one page, but it's a different song every time it's identified/read
-The PC's favorite songs
-Kid's songs, and the PC that opens the drawer briefly sees a child out of the corner of his eye
-Every page is the music to Never Gonna Give You Up
48-51% A note with the words "Congratulations! The Game has Finished You!" on it.
52-55% At the end many files have the PC find a code like 1-765. The 1 could stand for the first number of the sequence and the second number would correspond to a letter.
So something like
1-765
2-532
3-445
4-_
5-445
6-909
7-241
Might turn out to be "THE END"
56-59% A coin with the word 'yes' on one side and 'no' on the other. If tossed and asked a question, the coin will land on edge.
60-63% In one drawer there is a bomb on closer inspection this "bomb" is just a digital clock duct taped to a bundle of red wooden dowels
64-67% A genuine autographed photo of Jesus Christ
68-71% A drawer labeled "NUMBER EIGHT" that belches when opened; inside is a top hat filled with perfume and a single plum.
72-75% Multiple identical holy grails.
76-79% The answers for every Iowa state Bar exam from 1974 to 2017.
80-83% Some index cards which say "You search around in a cabinet for a while, finding some index cards with seemingly nonsense notes written on them."
84-87% a stack of tracts asking if you've accepted Caspian as your personal saviour.
88-91% A series of ten photos of the earlobes of all primates with mathematical calculations handwritten all over them.
92-95% A Russian Doll with no split to pull apart but clearly has another doll inside it when shaken.
96-99% A "shake and snow dome" tourist gift with a small unknown machine part inside with the narration "Welcome to the solar system"

Personal:
01-3% A plain manila envelope, already torn open on one side. The contents are: a pack of cigarettes, a pair of tinted sunglasses, a bus pass, a diamond ring, a strip of paper with a long sequence of numbers written in a familiar scrawl, a janitor's key, a can of hair spray, a cigarette lighter, a paper clip, a matchbook, a car key with its alarm keychain, a small magnifying glass, a small container of ball bearings, a keycard, a hex key, a coin, a small piece of paper with a crossword puzzle printed on it an ammo clip, a watch If the PC who finds it examines the find further, they will notice the following things: The postage stamp on the envelope has a picture of Albert Einstein the date on the coin is from one year in the future and the recipient of the envelope itself is actually addressed to the PC...
04-7% A portable DVD player, showing footage of actors acting-out a particularly private scene from the PCs life perfectly.
08-11% A character's high school year book.
12-15% Photos and medical files of one of the PC's parents, detailing in the installation of various implanted chips and behavior modification experiments performed.
16-19%
20-23% Files that upon closer examination are transcripts of their secret evaluation for psychic potential at the end of their first week of school.
24-27% Robotic double of a member of the PCs' families, equipped with cameras, and monitoring equipment.
28-31% Record of the PC's life and evidence that the Dungeon has been monitoring them for a while. Since childhood. Like they've been waiting for you to show up.
32-35% Family photo album including pictures of a villain with one of the PC's mother.
36-39% Original artwork done by the PC as a child, with a psychoanalytical analysis report of the art work and the PC. Be sure to include such phrases as "chronic bed wetting", "Oedipus Complex", "deviant sexual behavior" and the like
40-43% A Chia-pet of a PC's head.
44-47% matroshka doll set painted to look like the PCs
48-51% The costumes of a group of minor villains - who are about the same build as the PCs.
52-55% A small leather bag containing the PC's baby teeth.
56-59% The PCs complete "Permanent Record" from Third Grade. Odd and very amusing in my opinion also makes them wonder why any one would want it.
60-63% Pictures of the PCs, identifiable/major NPCs and unrecognizable people all taped to a board; some of the pictures are crossed out.
64-67% Pictures of a PC getting married to someone none of the PCs recognize. The unknown spouse closely matches the PC's general "type" of partner. All but one of the other PCs are in the wedding party photos, along with friends and family the PC would expect to be at a wedding around a year ago.
68-71% Action Figures of the PC, complete with accessories and full articulation.
72-75% An empty envelope addressed to one of the PCs.
76-79% The PCs tax last tax forms, with the word "Audit" stamped in blood on them.
80-83% Notes detailing their performance in previous gaming sessions, as if they were being watched.
84-87% A digital camera filled with pics of the PCs/NPCs at odd and intimate moments, such as when they're alone on the toilet or driving alone in the car. The batteries in the camera are dead. There are no timestamps for the photos.
88-91% A box holding a cloak, a turned and carved wooden stick, a pair of calf-high leather boots (all of these have magical auras, in case anyone in the group can detect such things), and a file describing how the person who originally owned the other items was subdued, mindwiped, and resettled in the hometown of one of the PCs, and is being watched in case the mindwipe wears off. The file ends with a description of the person, which matches that of the previously-mentioned PC's significant other.
92-95% An assortment of adult photos of a member of some character's immediate kin... particularly one who is elderly or who the character is highly over-protective of.

96-99% A map showing where the resident heroic sociopath has been hiding his / her bodies.
100% A photo album with baby pictures of at least one character, pictures of the resident macho guy playing with kittens, pictures of the resident tomboy being girly and loving it, pictures of a character in drag, photos of a character's significant other cheating on them... with one of the character's family members, pictures suggesting that a family member or close friend is working for the villains, and pictures suggesting that a character is working for the villains.

Disturbing:
01-3% A massive orgy covering the entire bottom of the drawer, consisting of one-inch-high members of whatever race the PC looking in belongs to. Each PC who looks in perceives the participants as being their own race.
04-7% A small child who looks up at the PC who opened the drawer, smiles as if she's just seen the single greatest thing her young mind can conceive of, and then rots away before that PC's eyes. If anyone closes the drawer and opens it again, it is completely empty.
08-11% A drawer full of small windmills, and directly underneath it a drawer full of dead whores.
12-15% A drawer filled with stacks and stack of jerky, at the very bottom of the stack is a jerkied human face
16-19% One filing cabinet is full of sexual paraphernalia, with the more tame items (novelty vibrators, soft-core magazines and videos, lubricant) in the top drawer. As the PCs continue opening drawers moving down, the sexual items get more hardcore; butt plugs, dildos, blowup dolls, bondage straps, whips, nipple clamps, zipper masks, etc. The bottom drawer contains a skeleton in a gimp suit.
20-23% A drawer filled with salt, buried in said salt is several very desiccated internal organs.
24-27% A single note with the words "JUST AS PLANNED" on it.
28-31% A drawer full of beards, underneath a drawer of severed necks.
32-35% A note, detailing the rules of The Game. Have the characters lose The Game on random knowledge checks.
36-39% An unconscious janitor with a dead facehugger next to him.
40-43% 12 liters of blood in mason jars. Some of the jars are still warm.
44-47% Jimmy Hoffa's body, with a note saying "You're next."
48-51% Jack Thompson's brain.
52-55% A picture of a PC as a technician hooked up the computers. None of the other PCs are photographed.
56-59% A corpse wrapped in plastic, it is a clone of one of the PCs.
60-63% A withered human hand, it is the PCs as identified by wrist watch or jewelry.
64-67% A drawer full of old, faded pictures of each PC. In the pictures, all but one of the PCs are shown in their old age, with the addition of a few scars. All the pictures of the other PC are yellowed with age, and show the PC in his late twenties. The outside of the drawer is marked "extinct."
68-71% It is a list of hundreds of names, most of which have been crudely crossed out with different colors of ball point pen. The only names on the list which are un-crossed are the characters' parents.
72-75% The word 'help' written in dried blood.
76-79% Michael Jackson's noses.
80-83% Nothing, however the PC opening suddenly has a very strong feeling that something, or someone, is standing behind him/her. This feeling persists for some minutes.
84-87% A time bomb that has only 7 seconds left on it's timer. Failing to disarm it causes it to explode, sending confetti and streamers all over the room
88-91% Opening the file cabinet, the PC sees, nothing. Not just an empty cabinet, but the absence of everything, darkness without end, the void, the space between, and so on and so forth. The horror of it is, the PC has this urge, to jump in…..
92-95% Sherlock Holmes's brain in a jar with the deerstalker hat on top of it.
96-99% A copy of Grey's Anatomy, with complete annotations by some entity called Grishnakk; the title has been rewritten in a green 'ink' reading "Da Best Cook-Book Evar!"


Dangerous.
01-3% A place setting for major artifacts found over the course of the adventure (the Flauros, the Gun of Arthur Eld). Each has been clearly labeled. It is accompanied by warnings that all items must be returned to their proper place or serious repercussions will occur.
04-7% The filing cabinet opens onto flames and smoke.
08-11%.A cabinet that is actually filled with bee hives, like a bee farming boxes)
12-15% A picture of the PCs with one of the following notes attached. "Don't move, a man across the street has a rifle. if he sees you he will fire. Thank you for standing still long enough for him to line up his shot."
16-19% "They've found out, you'd better run" "You can't escape. There's so many of us now you wouldn't believe it."
20-23% A drawer that, when opened, launches an angry cat at the face of the PC who first opens it. This drawer never runs out of cats. The drawer continues launching cats at the same PC, regardless of who opens the drawer or how far the target PC is from the drawer. Periodically over the rest of the adventure, a cat will fly out of nowhere to hit that same PC right in the face, even in subterranean caverns.
24-27% A drawer that simply leads down into blackness with no visible bottom. If the PCs drop something in to determine the drawer's depth, it simply falls out of an air vent in the ceiling a few minutes later. If any of the PCs are small enough to climb into the drawer, they land in a small rock chamber with a hole in the middle. The only other occupant is an enormously obese creature (whatever would be most suitable, hilarious, and REALLY CREEPY within your campaign) wearing a pink frilly dress, that cheerfully greets the PC. Jumping down the hole results in coming out the aforementioned air vent.
28-31% Drawer full of dire badgers that the PCs have to fight.
32-35% A small monkey is slouched against the far wall, lazily smoking a cigarette Attempts to take the monkey's cigarette result in the monkey attacking the PC in question, taking the cigarette back, and then running away.
36-39% One drawer that is covered in smiley face stickers and hearts and the like, and when opened it sprays a continuous, high-velocity stream of vomit straight up until someone closes it.
40-43% A live hand grenade.
44-47% A piece of fancy parchment up which flowery runes have been inscribed along the border, forming beautiful red/orange stationary. The text of the note reads: "I prepared explosive runes this morning."
48-51% One gallon of Ice Nine
52-55% A bunch of 8" tall midgets that chuck pencils like spears at the PCs.
56-59% A swarm of scarabs that swarm over the PCs, eating their clothes. Either various shapes, messages in a language they don't know (and have to turn the garments inside out to read), or in entirety, depending on fabric type.
60-63% A hidden cache of firearms. Except, none of them actually work; they all have broken parts, have all jammed, or are rigged to explode upon firing.
64-67% A Nerf gun set to auto-fire as soon as the drawer opens. As the Nerf gun has been customized, each dart that hits does 1d4 points of damage and raises a nice welt.
68-71% Saddam Hussein's chlorine gas stockpile, complete with a note from Saddam asking one of the villains to take care of it for him. Unfortunately, one of the containers is leaking and so the party must make a save or else be overwhelmed by the fumes. 72-75% A miniature version of the Ark of the Covenant; the character who opened the drawer must make a save or else have their head explode.
76%-79% Eight gallons of heavy water in containers marked "Paint Supplies".

Pivotal.
01-3% Atlas of the dungeon (5th edition). Clipped to the cover is a yellow note that explains that this edition is “dangerously out of date. And could lead to someone’s death.”
04-7% Official Commemoration plaque of the dungeon.
08-11% Map of the office area. Handwritten says "WAY OUT?" points to the hidden Gate.
12-15% A software box labeled "Adobe Photoshop showing Dungeon edition:" The tag-line reads "malevolent misinformation has never been easier." The plastic wrapping has been removed and the box is empty.
16-19% A vellum scroll marked with an illegible scratchy script, a burned-in seal of an inverted pentagram, and two names signed in blood. One is the illegible scratchy script, the other is that of a major ally of the PCs. The scroll has a faintly sulphurous smell.
20-23% Evidence of a crossover event that no one can seem to remember. Who is this Superman guy anyway?
24-27% A drawer that is actually the switch to open a secret hatch in the wall, revealing a spaceship just large enough to fit the entire party. If your campaign has spaceships, it turns out to be either utterly beyond repair, a model spaceship, or it has completely incomprehensible controls. If your campaign doesn't have spaceships, the first button the PCs push activates the lasers, which blow up the opposite wall.
28-31% Blueprints for a time machine
32-35% A drawer containing irrefutable proof that seven different conflicting explanations for some famous mystery are all true.
36-39% A 6" diameter red button with the word "Reset" on it. Pressing it resets them to when they first walked into the room.
40-43% A hobo NPC who turns out to be the spirit of the universe.
44-47% Ancient manuscript written in Swedish noting the code to the books of Ikea. Finding the right book in Ikea, that when the runic incantation is read out inside a cupboard it can take you to another Ikea anywhere in the world.
48-51% A note from one of the villains, warning another villain about the PCs. The note should contain information that only one of the PCs would know. It should also mention all the PCs bar one.
52-55% Pictures of an NPC who died under mysterious circumstance, or pictures showing a known-to-be-living NPC as dead.

[twingle93]

Thank you to all who contributed, and those who will contribute to the list. You may read the list in its entirety here:

http://sites.google.com/site/thefilingcabinetlist/

To add content, you can either post here or use the add item page.

Again, thank you.

[drewkitty ~..~]

from the Chaos Earth forum here.