Robotech Blooper Reels

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Feb 24, 2009 6:49 pm

Robotech Master: "Remove all defective clones from contact with the rest of the ship, and eject all dea weight into space!"
(the Guard clones look at each other, then grab the Robotech Masters, carrying them off)
RM: "WAIT!!! You foolsss!!! We didn't mean us---!!!!!"

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Tue Feb 24, 2009 11:03 pm

taalismn wrote:Robotech Master: "Remove all defective clones from contact with the rest of the ship, and eject all dea weight into space!"
(the Guard clones look at each other, then grab the Robotech Masters, carrying them off)
RM: "WAIT!!! You foolsss!!! We didn't mean us---!!!!!"

Another good one! :lol:

drewkitty ~..~ · Wed Feb 25, 2009 12:46 am

"Clones-R-Us, Did you send over some discontinued clone types, the other day. We are having some trouble with them. They have already thrown three sets of Master clone out the airlock."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 6:30 pm

Macross City Park:
Max Sterling and Miriya are fighting, running all over the place, striking and dodging...
Suddenly Max stops.
“Uh-oh.”
“Realized the futility of trying to escape me, Micronian?”
“Nope...You stepped in the faerie circle.”
“Huh?!”
“The faerie circle. You’re not supposed to step inside the faerie circle. It’s forbidden.”
“What are you babbling about!? Prepare to die!”
“Uh-uh....We thought the old guy was joking at first...’Faerie Circles on Macross Island? What you been smoking man? That’s hokey superstition!’ But everybody who steps in the circle or disturbs it gets in trouble, no matter what, so even the Captain declared it off limits...”
“’Faerie Circle’? What sort of micronian nonsense are you spouting!? There is no---” She quickly looks around her...she sees a strip of broken yellow police tape off to one side, a knocked over warning sign...one of several describing a perimeter...and she’s standing with one foot inside a circle of largish mushrooms growing out of the park lawn.
When she looks around again, she realizes Max is gone....
“COWARD! I’LL HUNT YOU DOWN WHEREVER YOU FLEE!” She prepares to go after the fleeing micronian, when she suddenly realizes she can’t move her leg. Try as she might, she just can’t pull her foot free of the ground....Then she becomes aware of small lights rising from the ground behind her, growing in number and density...moving up and forward and surrounding her...
**YOU HAVE VIOLATED THE COVENANT OF THE PARKLANDS, HUMAN, YOU HAVE VIOLATED OUR SACRED CIRCLE. YOU HAVE UNWISELY NOT HEEDED THE WARNINGS. AS IN TIME IMMEMORIAL, RESTITUTION OR RETRIBUTION MUST NOW BEFALL. THE CHOICE IS YOURS: -PLAY- OR -PAY-**

As he dashed to the nearest Military Police station to report the latest victim of the Fae(supposedly the MPs uncharitably called such people ‘Circle-jerks’), Max shivered every time he thought about the one time he’d walked into the Circle on a dare early in the SDF-1’s flight...He hadn’t had much in the way of vivid memories of what had happened afterwards, but he’d been told he’d spent the next forty-eight hours as a female version of himself, clad in a white dress, with flowers in her hair, strumming a lute, and serenading any men who came near her with lovelorn song. He’d been grateful, afterwards, upon learning that Rick and Ben had managed to steer away anybody who’d tried to hit on her. And Max had gotten off EASY....there were still people who were suffering from their encounters with the Underhill Court; Major Maistroff’s adjutant, who’d angrily set out to prove that it was all mere prankster work, malingering, and pure hysteria, STILL turned into a goat every time he had to take a meal...And that Destroid pilot who’d tried to remove them....
The hydroponics, life support, and grounds people LOVED having nature spirits aboard, on the other hand, so there’d been some necessary co-existance to consider...
If only the Fae hadn’t objected so strenuously to a proper fence...or warning strobes...or motion detectors...
Max hoped they went easy on Miriya...he really thought she was an attractive girl, for a psychotic alien infiltrator ...

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 6:32 pm

drewkitty ~..~ wrote:"Clones-R-Us, Did you send over some discontinued clone types, the other day. We are having some trouble with them. They have already thrown three sets of Master clone out the airlock."

Like inexpensive car window glass replacement offered near college campuses, it's a conspiracy...

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 8:34 pm

drewkitty ~..~ wrote:"Clones-R-Us, Did you send over some discontinued clone types, the other day. We are having some trouble with them. They have already thrown three sets of Master clone out the airlock."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 8:47 pm

Alpha 11 wrote:
drewkitty ~..~ wrote:"Clones-R-Us, Did you send over some discontinued clone types, the other day. We are having some trouble with them. They have already thrown three sets of Master clone out the airlock."

"Clones are supposed to be dumb, mass-produced cannon-fodder with minimal self-preservation abilities! They're not supposed to THINK! That's the entire point of clones! Quantity over quality, not quantity AND quality!!!"

drewkitty ~..~ · Wed Feb 25, 2009 9:22 pm

taalismn wrote:
Alpha 11 wrote:
drewkitty ~..~ wrote:"Clones-R-Us, Did you send over some discontinued clone types, the other day. We are having some trouble with them. They have already thrown three sets of Master clone out the airlock."

"Clones are supposed to be dumb, mass-produced cannon-fodder with minimal self-preservation abilities! They're not supposed to THINK! That's the entire point of clones! Quantity over quality, not quantity AND quality!!!"

"Yeh, thats right... and the ones you sent us can think for themselves and decided they didn't want to die for good."

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 3:30 am

Hello! I represent Clones'RUS. We have discovered an error in that batch of clones we sent to the masters. They had accidently been crossed with a very famous independent thinker........Attilla the Hun! We regret the loss of those Master clones. We are trying to rectify the situation on our end. We'll have some good clones for them within the next twelve hours.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 3:58 pm

Aramanthus wrote:Hello! I represent Clones'RUS. We have discovered an error in that batch of clones we sent to the masters. They had accidently been crossed with a very famous independent thinker........Attilla the Hun! We regret the loss of those Master clones. We are trying to rectify the situation on our end. We'll have some good clones for them within the next twelve hours.

"Yang sez me not take orders of wizzened oldsters too sick to hold sword! Yang sez me not listen to stupid old men! Yang sez me pile skulls high of those who disagree with me! Above all, Yang sez me in charge now! Any questions?!"
"...er...no...?"

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 11:30 pm

taalismn wrote:
Aramanthus wrote:Hello! I represent Clones'RUS. We have discovered an error in that batch of clones we sent to the masters. They had accidently been crossed with a very famous independent thinker........Attilla the Hun! We regret the loss of those Master clones. We are trying to rectify the situation on our end. We'll have some good clones for them within the next twelve hours.

"Yang sez me not take orders of wizzened oldsters too sick to hold sword! Yang sez me not listen to stupid old men! Yang sez me pile skulls high of those who disagree with me! Above all, Yang sez me in charge now! Any questions?!"
"...er...no...?"

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 3:58 am

LOL That was a great response Taalismn! :lol:

Can we use Atilla some more! I think he could cause so many more bloopers in various settings!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 11:03 am

A massive spacestation the size of Japan looms into view...it's surrounded by a HUGE fleet of warships, more coming all the time, more leaving all the time...
IN massive hundred-mile long glowing letters on its flank is inscribed:
McZonald's: Over 10 Billion Served!

And the giant Golden Arches feared and worshipped across the cosmos....

"Okay, that's one thousand fifty-five Protoslabs with extra dairy substitute concentrate, forty-eight triple-decker ichy-paddies with the zon-relish, two thousand starch-sticks---supersize them all...nine hundred eight-five vegetation platters with the sliced, diced, red-vegetables and the number eighty-nine dressing, eight hundred purple protein shakes, four hundred caffeine-infusions, twenty-eight boiled-foliage beverages, and five hundred sixty-three fruit-substitute concentrate wraps....What? Oh...change one of those ichy-paddies to a Planetary Assault Slab with extra tang-sauce..."
"Orbit around the back to pick up your orders."

Across the galaxy, the forces of BurgerRegent gather their forces...

This does not bode well for the hapless planets caught in between...

"Where the HELL is all this garbage coming FROM?!? And those giant things are CUPS, I tell you!"
"Don't be absurd...there're some sort of mass-produced spacecraft hulls, or shipping containers.....nothing could use a cup that big!"
"But there are giant TEETH MARKS along the open rim! What else can they be?"
"Who can tell? They're obviously alien...they could be for some purpose our limited perspective cannot possibly guess at!"

drewkitty ~..~ · Fri Feb 27, 2009 1:08 pm

taalismn wrote:
Aramanthus wrote:Hello! I represent Clones'RUS. We have discovered an error in that batch of clones we sent to the masters. They had accidently been crossed with a very famous independent thinker........Attilla the Hun! We regret the loss of those Master clones. We are trying to rectify the situation on our end. We'll have some good clones for them within the next twelve hours.

"Yang sez me not take orders of wizened oldsters too sick to hold sword! Yang sez me not listen to stupid old men! Yang sez me pile skulls high of those who disagree with me! Above all, Yang sez me in charge now! Any questions?!"
"...er...no...?"

*an old man wearing a black hooded cloak*"This is My Empire"
*he holds up his hand and lighting shoots out at the barbarian, and keeps it up till there is not but a pile of charred meat*

*another man, a a gray uniform, runs up behind the cloaked figure and whispers to the old man*
"What do you mean this is the wrong set? I see a throne, so it must be mine."
*the man in gray pulls out a schedule planer, and flips thew it, and whispers again*
"We're here tomorrow,.... some one must pay for this...."
*the man in gray starts clutching at his throat and squeaks out something, and points at the pile of charred meat*
"All right, you saved your miserable life this time, go inform Lord Vader that I will need my Jacuzzi when I return. I need to stop at the deathstar to get my speedo."
*both walk out before anyone can say a word*

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 6:30 pm

drewkitty ~..~ wrote:*an old man wearing a black hooded cloak*"This is My Empire"
*he holds up his hand and lighting shoots out at the barbarian, and keeps it up till there is not but a pile of charred meat*

*another man, a a gray uniform, runs up behind the cloaked figure and whispers to the old man*
"What do you mean this is the wrong set? I see a throne, so it must be mine."
*the man in gray pulls out a schedule planer, and flips thew it, and whispers again*
"We're here tomorrow,.... some one must pay for this...."
*the man in gray starts clutching at his throat and squeaks out something, and points at the pile of charred meat*
"All right, you saved your miserable life this time, go inform Lord Vader that I will need my Jacuzzi when I return. I need to stop at the deathstar to get my speedo."
*both walk out before anyone can say a word*

Speedo...

Ah..imagine how different things mighta gone if Bowie had stumbled across the Robotech Masters in their jacuzzi...and in his blind, fumbling, haste to get away from the horrible sight...accidentally tipped the plugged-in videoplayer into the water...

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:44 am

taalismn wrote:
drewkitty ~..~ wrote:*an old man wearing a black hooded cloak*"This is My Empire"
*he holds up his hand and lighting shoots out at the barbarian, and keeps it up till there is not but a pile of charred meat*

*another man, a a gray uniform, runs up behind the cloaked figure and whispers to the old man*
"What do you mean this is the wrong set? I see a throne, so it must be mine."
*the man in gray pulls out a schedule planer, and flips thew it, and whispers again*
"We're here tomorrow,.... some one must pay for this...."
*the man in gray starts clutching at his throat and squeaks out something, and points at the pile of charred meat*
"All right, you saved your miserable life this time, go inform Lord Vader that I will need my Jacuzzi when I return. I need to stop at the deathstar to get my speedo."
*both walk out before anyone can say a word*

Speedo...

Ah..imagine how different things mighta gone if Bowie had stumbled across the Robotech Masters in their jacuzzi...and in his blind, fumbling, haste to get away from the horrible sight...accidentally tipped the plugged-in videoplayer into the water...

Help... me... must get... images... out of... head...

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 10:51 am

Alpha 11 wrote:
taalismn wrote:Ah..imagine how different things mighta gone if Bowie had stumbled across the Robotech Masters in their jacuzzi...and in his blind, fumbling, haste to get away from the horrible sight...accidentally tipped the plugged-in videoplayer into the water...

Help... me... must get... images... out of... head...

Think boiled Robotech Master...

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 10:33 pm

taalismn wrote:
Alpha 11 wrote:
taalismn wrote:Ah..imagine how different things mighta gone if Bowie had stumbled across the Robotech Masters in their jacuzzi...and in his blind, fumbling, haste to get away from the horrible sight...accidentally tipped the plugged-in videoplayer into the water...

Help... me... must get... images... out of... head...

Think boiled Robotech Master...

I think that helped a little. :frazz:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Mar 01, 2009 5:12 pm

Openning shot of the hangar bay of a Zentraedi warship....a bunch of tired-looking male Zentraedi are standing around, exhausted from some great labor, nervously casting eyes on the single (open) suit of Female Power Armor in the bay...Alerted by something, the troopers look up...
(Cue sassy music)

V.O.: From the makers of RoboCola...

(Lithesome female Zentraedi in flight suit, helmet off, hair flying free, comes sashaying up out of the steam and bright lighting of the far end the bay...She sees the troopers, then..focus on her face as she gives them an appraising look)

...comes the next great wave of refreshment...

(She brings out a six-pack of cans, beaded with condensation, from behind her back...Having gotten the attention of the troopers, she detaches one can, detaches it with one hand...)

....a space-folding refinement in liquid pleasure...

(...she drinks down half the can, her lips playing on the can lid....then rolls the condensation-frosted can across here forehead...let's not forget the drip onto her skintight flightsuit...cut to the men, who are COMPLETELY focused now.....then she tosses back the remaining drink, pouring it into her open mouth with the can held up and above her head...then she crushes the empty in one hand, with a loud SNAP!...)

...Pure power unequalled by any any drink before...

(...she pops two more cans off the six-pack, pops them into the open power cell holder on her mecha, closes it, ....then she dons her helmet, steps into her mecha...just before it closes up, she tosses the remaining cans behind her onto the deck...then hits the power...)

...or since!...

(The FPA lifts up and off, its backblast scattering the cans across the deck...as the FPA rockets out of the bay into open space, its pilot grinning, we catch a glimpse of the male Zentraedi scrambling after the flying cans, some of them fighting with each other over who gets one...)

ProtoCola...Feel the Power....

...Only while supplies last...

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Sun Mar 01, 2009 6:24 pm

taalismn wrote:Openning shot of the hangar bay of a Zentraedi warship....a bunch of tired-looking male Zentraedi are standing around, exhausted from some great labor, nervously casting eyes on the single (open) suit of Female Power Armor in the bay...Alerted by something, the troopers look up...
(Cue sassy music)

V.O.: From the makers of RoboCola...

(Lithesome female Zentraedi in flight suit, helmet off, hair flying free, comes sashaying up out of the steam and bright lighting of the far end the bay...She sees the troopers, then..focus on her face as she gives them an appraising look)

...comes the next great wave of refreshment...

(She brings out a six-pack of cans, beaded with condensation, from behind her back...Having gotten the attention of the troopers, she detaches one can, detaches it with one hand...)

....a space-folding refinement in liquid pleasure...

(...she drinks down half the can, her lips playing on the can lid....then rolls the condensation-frosted can across here forehead...let's not forget the drip onto her skintight flightsuit...cut to the men, who are COMPLETELY focused now.....then she tosses back the remaining drink, pouring it into her open mouth with the can held up and above her head...then she crushes the empty in one hand, with a loud SNAP!...)

...Pure power unequalled by any any drink before...

(...she pops two more cans off the six-pack, pops them into the open power cell holder on her mecha, closes it, ....then she dons her helmet, steps into her mecha...just before it closes up, she tosses the remaining cans behind her onto the deck...then hits the power...)

...or since!...

(The FPA lifts up and off, its backblast scattering the cans across the deck...as the FPA rockets out of the bay into open space, its pilot grinning, we catch a glimpse of the male Zentraedi scrambling after the flying cans, some of them fighting with each other over who gets one...)

ProtoCola...Feel the Power....

...Only while supplies last...

*Cuckses and sakes head*(sp?)

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Mar 01, 2009 7:33 pm

Optimal Taste...Optimal Power....Because Only the Original will do:
OpteraCola...
Eight Ounces of All-Natural Refreshment..
Flavored with All-Natural Herbs
OpteraCola...
Brewed by Invid, According to Centuries-Old Recipes, With Ingredients Picked at the Height of Freshness...
Now in Green Tea and Citrus Blast Flavors...
OpteraCola..
Accept No Substitutes...

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Mon Mar 02, 2009 12:27 am

taalismn wrote:Optimal Taste...Optimal Power....Because Only the Original will do:
OpteraCola...
Eight Ounces of All-Natural Refreshment..
Flavored with All-Natural Herbs
OpteraCola...
Brewed by Invid, According to Centuries-Old Recipes, With Ingredients Picked at the Height of Freshness...
Now in Green Tea and Citrus Blast Flavors...
OpteraCola..
Accept No Substitutes...

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Mar 02, 2009 10:58 am

Cue imagery of 'Uan 'Al-Dez, Invid farmer, and its faithful Gurab, moving up and down the Flower of Life-covered slopes picking their flowers and putting them in baskets for carriage down to the Hive in the distance...

DhAkael · Unread post by **DhAkael** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 1:52 am

taalismn wrote:
(Lithesome female Zentraedi in flight suit, helmet off, hair flying free, comes sashaying up out of the steam and bright lighting of the far end the bay...She sees the troopers, then..focus on her face as she gives them an appraising look)

..

-ah-HEM- *gives HG the Aeigencourt Salute*
The CORRECT term is Maltraedi or Meltran

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 5:25 am

ROFLMAO!!! OMG!!! Those were funny as heck the only one that scarred me was thought of that being in a speedo!!! :frazz:

It was still funny. Especially while watching "RobotChicken".

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 7:30 pm

DhAkael wrote:
taalismn wrote:
(Lithesome female Zentraedi in flight suit, helmet off, hair flying free, comes sashaying up out of the steam and bright lighting of the far end the bay...She sees the troopers, then..focus on her face as she gives them an appraising look)

..

-ah-HEM- *gives HG the Aeigencourt Salute*
The CORRECT term is Maltraedi or Meltran

I thought the Agincourt Salute was when you charged and slaughtered the French mounted nobility...
But yes, it would have flowed more smoothly if I'd used Meltran...I was simply emphasizing, though, that propoganda aside, they're the same species....hence, the Zentran deck crew are NOT shuddering in revulsion or contempt..

DhAkael · Unread post by **DhAkael** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 10:15 pm

taalismn wrote:
DhAkael wrote:
taalismn wrote:
(Lithesome female Zentraedi in flight suit, helmet off, hair flying free, comes sashaying up out of the steam and bright lighting of the far end the bay...She sees the troopers, then..focus on her face as she gives them an appraising look)

..

-ah-HEM- *gives HG the Aeigencourt Salute*
The CORRECT term is Maltraedi or Meltran

I thought the Agincourt Salute was when you charged and slaughtered the French mounted nobility...
But yes, it would have flowed more smoothly if I'd used Meltran...I was simply emphasizing, though, that propoganda aside, they're the same species....hence, the Zentran deck crew are NOT shuddering in revulsion or contempt..

Ah..true, true... "semantics"...carry on sir
P.S.; the Agincourt Salute is Spyke's (From Buffy the vampire layer) favorite gesture... it also can be interpreted as "I can fire a bow and you can't"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Mar 04, 2009 6:34 pm

DhAkael wrote:Ah..true, true... "semantics"...carry on sir
P.S.; the Agincourt Salute is Spyke's (From Buffy the vampire layer) favorite gesture... it also can be interpreted as "I can fire a bow and you can't"

I have this sudden image of the Zentraedi Grand Fleet on one side of space and the humble little Terran defense forces on the other...and on the upper deck of the UK-sponsored ARMD platform, several ranks of spacesuited longbowmen troop out onto the deck and take their positions, ready to open fire on the Zentraedi hordes...

drewkitty ~..~ · Wed Mar 04, 2009 7:39 pm

taalismn wrote:
DhAkael wrote:Ah..true, true... "semantics"...carry on sir
P.S.; the Agincourt Salute is Spyke's (From Buffy the vampire layer) favorite gesture... it also can be interpreted as "I can fire a bow and you can't"

I have this sudden image of the Zentraedi Grand Fleet on one side of space and the humble little Terran defense forces on the other...and on the upper deck of the UK-sponsored ARMD platform, several ranks of spacesuited longbowmen troop out onto the deck and take their positions, ready to open fire on the Zentraedi hordes...

Don't doubt the power of the PATRIOT arrow.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Mar 04, 2009 8:18 pm

It's the Duchy of Grand Fenwick versus the Zentraedi warmachine...

drewkitty ~..~ · Wed Mar 04, 2009 8:40 pm

taalismn wrote:It's the Duchy of Grand Fenwick versus the Zentraedi warmachine...

The Duchy of Grand Fenwick wins by an bottle of pinot.

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 2:12 am

And don't forget the Duchy of Grand Fenwick beat the US! I think the Zentraedi might be terrfied. Just imagine if you will if that was on the other foot. The giant zentraedi wielding their gigantic long bows against the future tech of the RDF!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 7:17 pm

Somehow I doubt the Zentraedi will be fhazed by the threat of a quantium bomb....Khyron would just want it for himself..

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 3:26 am

Still the thought of them in those suit of chainmail with the long bows.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 6:52 pm

Aramanthus wrote:Still the thought of them in those suit of chainmail with the long bows.

A full-sized Zentraedi in chainmail?
You may effectively forget ANY chance at prowling...
The resulting clangor is akin to an avalanche at a scrapyard....
Heck, they'd hear you in the next STATE...(unless you were smack in the middle of Texas, Alaska, or Hawaii)..

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 12:24 am

Crazy, crazy, crazy.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 6:07 pm

Maia: "I STILL can't get over these damn skintight uniforms! Are these even LEGAL?!"
Marcus: "Yeah...any uniform that's tight enough to show your navel....egad..."
Maia: "Even the 'skinsuits' in 'Appleseed' at least have padding and support at the joints."
Voice from behind: "Oh quit your whining....You think you got it bad?!..."
Shinji Ikari, Asuka, and Rei from Evangelion, and several of the pilots from MUV-LUV come slinking out of the shadows...
Shinji: "I got a freakin' wedgie every time I suit up!"
Asuka: "Yeah....leaves nothing to the imagination...and in Shinji's case, it's a major turn-off when I gotta look at his scrawny-arse figure...Almost makes me want to swear off men..."
Rei: "Don't look at me."
MUV-LUV Pilot: " HEY! At least your outfits are OPAQUE!! WE got these giant boots to go clomping in...and these front and back panels that...well, they go transparent at the damnest times!"
(WHAP!)
Shinji: "OW! WHAT WAS -THAT- FOR!?"
Asuka: "Female solidarity, pervert!"
Nagisa Kanoh(Iczer-1): "All of you, be quiet. At least you HAVE piloting outfits...Two out of three times, I wind up totally nude...And when I'm not piloting, I'm wearing a skirt so short, it qualifies more as a belt-ruffle."

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 9:46 pm

taalismn wrote:Maia: "I STILL can't get over these damn skintight uniforms! Are these even LEGAL?!"
Marcus: "Yeah...any uniform that's tight enough to show your navel....egad..."
Maia: "Even the 'skinsuits' in 'Appleseed' at least have padding and support at the joints."
Voice from behind: "Oh quit your whining....You think you got it bad?!..."
Shinji Ikari, Asuka, and Rei from Evangelion, and several of the pilots from MUV-LUV come slinking out of the shadows...
Shinji: "I got a freakin' wedgie every time I suit up!"
Asuka: "Yeah....leaves nothing to the imagination...and in Shinji's case, it's a major turn-off when I gotta look at his scrawny-arse figure...Almost makes me want to swear off men..."
Rei: "Don't look at me."
MUV-LUV Pilot: " HEY! At least your outfits are OPAQUE!! WE got these giant boots to go clomping in...and these front and back panels that...well, they go transparent at the damnest times!"
(WHAP!)
Shinji: "OW! WHAT WAS -THAT- FOR!?"
Asuka: "Female solidarity, pervert!"
Nagisa Kanoh(Iczer-1): "All of you, be quiet. At least you HAVE piloting outfits...Two out of three times, I wind up totally nude...And when I'm not piloting, I'm wearing a skirt so short, it qualifies more as a belt-ruffle."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 9:53 pm

AGH! I discovered my 'Proto-Cola' gag had already been taken by Shadow Chronicles...Marcus and Alexis are seen getting cans out of a 'Proto-Cola' vending machine...

Hmmm..'Made with Real Flower of Life for that Refreshing All-Natural Taste'?

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 10:12 pm

taalismn wrote:AGH! I discovered my 'Proto-Cola' gag had already been taken by Shadow Chronicles...Marcus and Alexis are seen getting cans out of a 'Proto-Cola' vending machine...

Hmmm..'Made with Real Flower of Life for that Refreshing All-Natural Taste'?

There, there. *Pats tallismn on the head*

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Mar 08, 2009 1:54 pm

Alpha 11 wrote:
taalismn wrote:AGH! I discovered my 'Proto-Cola' gag had already been taken by Shadow Chronicles...Marcus and Alexis are seen getting cans out of a 'Proto-Cola' vending machine...

Hmmm..'Made with Real Flower of Life for that Refreshing All-Natural Taste'?

There, there. *Pats tallismn on the head*

I'll live...but now I'm wanting some background info on Proto-Cola...is it actually good stuff? Or lowest-bid synthetic liquid refreshment foisted on the soldiers by government contract?

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Sun Mar 08, 2009 4:09 pm

taalismn wrote:
Alpha 11 wrote:
taalismn wrote:AGH! I discovered my 'Proto-Cola' gag had already been taken by Shadow Chronicles...Marcus and Alexis are seen getting cans out of a 'Proto-Cola' vending machine...

Hmmm..'Made with Real Flower of Life for that Refreshing All-Natural Taste'?

There, there. *Pats tallismn on the head*

I'll live...but now I'm wanting some background info on Proto-Cola...is it actually good stuff? Or lowest-bid synthetic liquid refreshment foisted on the soldiers by government contract?

Most likely.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Mar 08, 2009 4:30 pm

How Alex Romero REALLY died(Truth #324)

Alex: "Oh man...I shouldn't have scarved down that last ProtoCola....carbonation gas...urgh...gotta..
*BELCH*
(sound of faceplate shattering)
POP
BOOM

DhAkael · Unread post by **DhAkael** » Mon Mar 09, 2009 4:30 pm

taalismn wrote:How Alex Romero REALLY died(Truth #324)

Alex: "Oh man...I shouldn't have scarved down that last ProtoCola....carbonation gas...urgh...gotta..
*BELCH*
(sound of faceplate shattering)
POP
BOOM

Sanitary Officer #24601 "Bob"; "I am NOT cleaning that up..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Mar 09, 2009 5:31 pm

Dolza's standing in his mega-command bubble, gazing on the displays and viewscreens that show the vast Zentraedi Grand Fleet...with sweeping hand motions(not unlike Mickey Mouse in -Fantasia-) he points and directs, and the vast fleet moves to his every gesture...Then, with a decisive punching motion and a single mouthed, but unvoiced, command, he orders the full power of the vast armada brought to bear! AS his face is illuminated by the glare of the fleet's massed firepower opening fire on some unseen opponent, Dolza smiles...
"DOLZA!"
He's brought out of his revere and we see he's standing behind the broiler of a fast food joint, dressed in the hat and apron of a server...A scrawny little middle-aged guy with a middle-management nametag is scowling at him.
"Dish Washer! NOW!"
Next shot he's standing in front of a deep sink filled with trays and grease-encrusted kitchenware, up to his elbows in soap suds and hot water, his expression utterly glum...then he looks up, starts zoning out again, and we hear the Zentraedi anthem faintly in the back as Dolza lips '...open fire...'.

Galaxy-Wide Insurance. Because Life Can Change...Fast...

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Mon Mar 09, 2009 11:07 pm

taalismn wrote:Dolza's standing in his mega-command bubble, gazing on the displays and viewscreens that show the vast Zentraedi Grand Fleet...with sweeping hand motions(not unlike Mickey Mouse in -Fantasia-) he points and directs, and the vast fleet moves to his every gesture...Then, with a decisive punching motion and a single mouthed, but unvoiced, command, he orders the full power of the vast armada brought to bear! AS his face is illuminated by the glare of the fleet's massed firepower opening fire on some unseen opponent, Dolza smiles...
"DOLZA!"
He's brought out of his revere and we see he's standing behind the broiler of a fast food joint, dressed in the hat and apron of a server...A scrawny little middle-aged guy with a middle-management nametag is scowling at him.
"Dish Washer! NOW!"
Next shot he's standing in front of a deep sink filled with trays and grease-encrusted kitchenware, up to his elbows in soap suds and hot water, his expression utterly glum...then he looks up, starts zoning out again, and we hear the Zentraedi anthem faintly in the back as Dolza lips '...open fire...'.

Galaxy-Wide Insurance. Because Life Can Change...Fast...

Rathorc Lemenger · Tue Mar 10, 2009 12:38 am

Ouch, Taalismn. Oh, and you Flying Squid's done.

Signed,
Rathorc Lemenger.

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Tue Mar 10, 2009 3:17 am

Today we here at ClonesRUS announce that we have purchased a winery. We have recently procured a supply of protoculture. Our wine master told us that we can stretch our supplies of protoculture by a significant time by using the the entire fruit after the seeds are taken from it. It was discovered that it could be cloned and used in our new business. We hope that this new wine will be enjoyed by the UEEF and it's allies!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Mar 10, 2009 5:23 pm

Hmmm...I wonder if you can make grapa from old Flower of Life fruit/leaves...

"Julio and Ernest Lang: No Proto-Wine Before Its Time."

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Thu Mar 12, 2009 1:55 am

LOL Great one! Please keep them coming! Always glad to inspire!