Robotech Blooper Reels

[taalismn]

(Timeloop)
snip...
"For the crime of disobeying my orders and NOT bringing me back the ears of the Dread Enemy Commander Breetai," Captain Minmei intoned, "To remind you of the happiness to be had with obedience and loyalty, I shall read you my romantic poetry..."

Okay, found something worse then Vogon Poetry.

Wait 'til Minmei writes a novel...

[Alpha 11]

(Timeloop)
snip...
"For the crime of disobeying my orders and NOT bringing me back the ears of the Dread Enemy Commander Breetai," Captain Minmei intoned, "To remind you of the happiness to be had with obedience and loyalty, I shall read you my romantic poetry..."

Okay, found something worse then Vogon Poetry.

Wait 'til Minmei writes a novel...

She did write a novel... It's called "Twilight".

Signed,
Harry Leferts

That bad or that scarry?

[drewkitty ~..~]

Bad. It's the one with "Sparkly" Vampires.

Signed,
Harry Leferts

I think this guy agrees with you Harry Po... Leferts.
http://s354.photobucket.com/albums/r422 ... C00749.jpg

BTW, he is wearing a costume from the anime Vampire Knight.

[taalismn]

Wait 'til Minmei writes a novel...

She did write a novel... It's called "Twilight".

Signed,
Harry Leferts

That bad or that scarry?[/quote]
Bad. It's the one with "Sparkly" Vampires.

Signed,
Harry Leferts[/quote]

WHERE'S VAN HELSING WHEN WE REALLY NEED HIM?!!!!
Better yet....'Blade Meets Twilight'
Actually, I think I saw a spam poster on Spacebattles.com Creative Writing that had the Twilight cast looking emo,...with Blade Vampire Slayer standing behind them in the trees...
Every time some teenager asks for the Twilight books(and some of them have been downright RUDE about it)...I'm sorely tempted to direct them to our books on parasitic organisms..."Yeah, your teen vampire is at heart a tick in a leather jacket..."

[taalismn]

You know what's REALLY weird? My younger sister hates the series with a passion. Mention it to her and she'll go off in a rant about ****ed up it is.

Signed,
Harry Leferts

Your younger sister is all right...There's hope for the younger generation..

[drewkitty ~..~]

TL:M

On the observation deck having a 'had it a thousand times' conversation.

lisa: did..you?
rick: Nope.
Lisa: but..
Rick: Didn't
Lisa: usually its..
Rick: one of us
Lisa *after some thought*"Ben..maybe?"
Rick: got married and missed the boat
Lisa: I doubt it'd be ...m
Rick: He's was filched by skull squadron
Lisa *still thinking*... "then who?"
Rick: not anyone you'd think of this time
LIsa *slugs rick in the arm*" you know who!?
Rick: yep
Lisa: So tell me
Rick:Nope
Lisa: why not? Were you sworn to silence
Rick: nope
Lisa: why not?
Rick: if it got out *shivers*
Lisa: ok, how then?
Rick: airlock
Lisa: ouch
Rick: yep,don't want a defective pilot's suit
Lisa: then that means there is another somebody who remembers
Rick: yep, finally snapped
Lisa: that does mean I can't....
Rick: had plans too, glad someone else got her 1st this time
Lisa: I'm glad you got here early this time. *smirks*
Rick: Couldn't let anyone go snogin me girl * *

[taalismn]

Dry-snarfed when I got to the 'airlock' part....

[Alpha 11]

TL:M

On the observation deck having a 'had it a thousand times' conversation.

lisa: did..you?
rick: Nope.
Lisa: but..
Rick: Didn't
Lisa: usually its..
Rick: one of us
Lisa *after some thought*"Ben..maybe?"
Rick: got married and missed the boat
Lisa: I doubt it'd be ...m
Rick: He's was filched by skull squadron
Lisa *still thinking*... "then who?"
Rick: not anyone you'd think of this time
LIsa *slugs rick in the arm*" you know who!?
Rick: yep
Lisa: So tell me
Rick:Nope
Lisa: why not? Were you sworn to silence
Rick: nope
Lisa: why not?
Rick: if it got out *shivers*
Lisa: ok, how then?
Rick: airlock
Lisa: ouch
Rick: yep,don't want a defective pilot's suit
Lisa: then that means there is another somebody who remembers
Rick: yep, finally snapped
Lisa: that does mean I can't....
Rick: had plans too, glad someone else got her 1st this time
Lisa: I'm glad you got here early this time. *smirks*
Rick: Couldn't let anyone go snogin me girl * *

[taalismn]

Roy Fokker: "I really really wish you guys had chosen some other plan than Skull One for the 'Pimp My Veritech' Contest..."
(POV pulls back to show Skull One with more chrome than a limo, Cadillac tailfins, fuzzy upholstery, personalized 'glitter' call numbers, dashboard geegaws.....)

[taalismn]

Gloval just sighs as he looks at Lang. "Okay... Would you please explain this to me once more from the top?" Lang looks at him before smiling and shrugging.

"Of course Captain." He then clears his throat a little before resuming. "As you well know, we are an anime, correct?" Gloval nods. "Well, according to the the 34th law of Anime, Second Corollary, A.K.A Indecent Invulnability, Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any damage... Unless it has to do with tentacles." Gloval just twitches at the last part before sighing as he pulls his cap over his eyes in embaressment.

"I understand that doctor... I really do. But..." Screen cuts to space showing the Macross in the humanoid configuration... wearing a PINK bikini. "Do we really have to put a bikini on the ship?" Lang just grins before answering him.

"Well... the ship is referred to as a she..."

Signed,
Harry Leferts

You ever read the MOSPEADA fanfic "Siskel-Ebert Bebop" where the NewGen characters watch a movie made of their story? And the first hint that something is terribly wrong is Rook's" "Gee, Scott, I didn't know the uniform for the Mars Division was bikinis?"
"Never mind that! Who's the ape talking to her?!"
"I think that's supposed to be you, Scott..."

[Aramanthus]

ROFLMAO!!! Glad to see the Beebop mentioned!

[taalismn]

Rick's flying fighter cover over the Pacific Ocean when the Daedalus Attack goes wrong, and he finds himself in the middle of an Itano Circus Missile Massacre. Dodging madly, he frantically keys his radio:
"Lisa! Abort the missiles! ----I'm in their path!----ABORT THE MISSILES!!!---"
Suddenly he's in the clear....no missiles, no hits...
"Hey...I'm alive! Great work, Lisa! Thanks! I--"
Suddenly he looks over his shoulder and he sees where that all the missiles that were previously heading at him have instead sprayed back across the head and shoulders of the SDF-1...including quite a few that hit the front of the bridge, blowing off most of the forward window 'bowl'...leaving the bridge balcony creaking over a fifty-foot drop..
The bridge crew is crowded against the back of the bridge, looking terrified at the abbreviated end of the command bridge..
Gloval: "...okay...we REALLY need some improved IFF on those things...."

[Alpha 11]

Roy Fokker: "I really really wish you guys had chosen some other plan than Skull One for the 'Pimp My Veritech' Contest..."
(POV pulls back to show Skull One with more chrome than a limo, Cadillac tailfins, fuzzy upholstery, personalized 'glitter' call numbers, dashboard geegaws.....)

Gloval just sighs as he looks at Lang. "Okay... Would you please explain this to me once more from the top?" Lang looks at him before smiling and shrugging.

"Of course Captain." He then clears his throat a little before resuming. "As you well know, we are an anime, correct?" Gloval nods. "Well, according to the the 34th law of Anime, Second Corollary, A.K.A Indecent Invulnability, Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any damage... Unless it has to do with tentacles." Gloval just twitches at the last part before sighing as he pulls his cap over his eyes in embaressment.

"I understand that doctor... I really do. But..." Screen cuts to space showing the Macross in the humanoid configuration... wearing a PINK bikini. "Do we really have to put a bikini on the ship?" Lang just grins before answering him.

"Well... the ship is referred to as a she..."

Signed,
Harry Leferts

Gloval just sighs as he looks at Lang. "Okay... Would you please explain this to me once more from the top?" Lang looks at him before smiling and shrugging.

"Of course Captain." He then clears his throat a little before resuming. "As you well know, we are an anime, correct?" Gloval nods. "Well, according to the the 34th law of Anime, Second Corollary, A.K.A Indecent Invulnability, Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any damage... Unless it has to do with tentacles." Gloval just twitches at the last part before sighing as he pulls his cap over his eyes in embaressment.

"I understand that doctor... I really do. But..." Screen cuts to space showing the Macross in the humanoid configuration... wearing a PINK bikini. "Do we really have to put a bikini on the ship?" Lang just grins before answering him.

"Well... the ship is referred to as a she..."

Signed,
Harry Leferts

You ever read the MOSPEADA fanfic "Siskel-Ebert Bebop" where the NewGen characters watch a movie made of their story? And the first hint that something is terribly wrong is Rook's" "Gee, Scott, I didn't know the uniform for the Mars Division was bikinis?"
"Never mind that! Who's the ape talking to her?!"
"I think that's supposed to be you, Scott..."

Rick's flying fighter cover over the Pacific Ocean when the Daedalus Attack goes wrong, and he finds himself in the middle of an Itano Circus Missile Massacre. Dodging madly, he frantically keys his radio:
"Lisa! Abort the missiles! ----I'm in their path!----ABORT THE MISSILES!!!---"
Suddenly he's in the clear....no missiles, no hits...
"Hey...I'm alive! Great work, Lisa! Thanks! I--"
Suddenly he looks over his shoulder and he sees where that all the missiles that were previously heading at him have instead sprayed back across the head and shoulders of the SDF-1...including quite a few that hit the front of the bridge, blowing off most of the forward window 'bowl'...leaving the bridge balcony creaking over a fifty-foot drop..
The bridge crew is crowded against the back of the bridge, looking terrified at the abbreviated end of the command bridge..
Gloval: "...okay...we REALLY need some improved IFF on those things...."

[Aramanthus]

ROFLMAO!! Now that is something that could happen only in a universe where Rick isn't always the target for fate. Please keep them coming.

[DhAkael]

Hanger deck of SDF-1
Max; "C'mon Rick..."
Rick; "No."
Max; "Just for the ceramony."
Rick; "NO! It's just plain wrong and you know it."
Max; "If you agree, I swear I'll see to it you never have to hear about Lyn Kyle ever again. That is a promise"
Rick *studying ceiling lights*; "-Ffffffffff[censored]! FINE! But you explain to the quarter master and tailors."
Max *giving Rick a manly Bro-hug*; "Thanks chief!!! This is gonna be great."

Scene switch to marriage of Maximillian Sterling and Miriya Parina. Miriya is again 30ft. tall dressed in enough lace and silk to make 300 wedding dresses. Standing at the raised alter are Max's Blue VF in a tuxedo, with Rick's VF-1S in best-man position

Rick (on closed circut); "This has gotta be the most crazy thing I've done...no, second craziest thing I've done!"
Max *distracted*; "Huh? Oh, I'd have to say 3rd. boss. That time you, Lisa and Minmei got drunk on sake after the premiere of 'Little White Dragon' over at the Macross Hilton.."
Rick; "IT NEVER HAPPEND!!!that's Lisa and my story and we're sticking to it. Besides, we burned the tapes..."

[taalismn]

Rick (on closed circut); "This has gotta be the most crazy thing I've done...no, second craziest thing I've done!"
Max *distracted*; "Huh? Oh, I'd have to say 3rd. boss. That time you, Lisa and Minmei got drunk on sake after the premiere of 'Little White Dragon' over at the Macross Hilton.."
Rick; "IT NEVER HAPPEND!!!that's Lisa and my story and we're sticking to it. Besides, we burned the tapes..."

"...aaaaaccggggggg.....what was I DOING last night...?!...and why am I in a tuxedo in a filled...champagne-glass-shaped... bathtub with rose petals floating in it and candles...and...what's thissssss...ohhh..."

[Alpha 11]

Hanger deck of SDF-1
Max; "C'mon Rick..."
Rick; "No."
Max; "Just for the ceramony."
Rick; "NO! It's just plain wrong and you know it."
Max; "If you agree, I swear I'll see to it you never have to hear about Lyn Kyle ever again. That is a promise"
Rick *studying ceiling lights*; "-Ffffffffff[censored]! FINE! But you explain to the quarter master and tailors."
Max *giving Rick a manly Bro-hug*; "Thanks chief!!! This is gonna be great."

Scene switch to marriage of Maximillian Sterling and Miriya Parina. Miriya is again 30ft. tall dressed in enough lace and silk to make 300 wedding dresses. Standing at the raised alter are Max's Blue VF in a tuxedo, with Rick's VF-1S in best-man position

Rick (on closed circut); "This has gotta be the most crazy thing I've done...no, second craziest thing I've done!"
Max *distracted*; "Huh? Oh, I'd have to say 3rd. boss. That time you, Lisa and Minmei got drunk on sake after the premiere of 'Little White Dragon' over at the Macross Hilton.."
Rick; "IT NEVER HAPPEND!!!that's Lisa and my story and we're sticking to it. Besides, we burned the tapes..."

[Aramanthus]

ROFLMAO!!! Awesome ones guys! Please keep them coming!

[taalismn]

ROFLMAO!!! Awesome ones guys! Please keep them coming!

"There he is again..."
"Who, Rick?"
"Him! Over there!"
"I don't anybody. Who am I supposed to be seeing?"
"Him! I see him all the time!"
"WHO, Rick?"
"THis guy..."
"What guy?!"
"THis guy, I keep seeing him...seems everywhere I go, I keep seeing him...every time I take a tumble, or stick my foot in my mouth, or get hurt...there he is!"
"Really?"
"And you wanna know the worst part of it?"
"Do tell..."
"I swear, I get creamed or I humiliate myself...I swear I hear this guy chortling...and he keeps saying stuff like 'More, More!' and 'Do it again!'....Never helps me, and when I need a hand, he just disappears..but next time I walk into a door, or you forget to uncuff me from the bed...there he is again! I'm not hallucinating, Lisa!....I think I'm being stalked..."
"I'm sure it's not like that at all..."
"I'm scared, Lisa...You should be too...I see him even when it's NOT me getting into trouble......"

[DhAkael]

ROFLMAO!!! Awesome ones guys! Please keep them coming!

"There he is again..."
"Who, Rick?"
"Him! Over there!"
"I don't anybody. Who am I supposed to be seeing?"
"Him! I see him all the time!"
"WHO, Rick?"
"THis guy..."
"What guy?!"
"THis guy, I keep seeing him...seems everywhere I go, I keep seeing him...every time I take a tumble, or stick my foot in my mouth, or get hurt...there he is!"
"Really?"
"And you wanna know the worst part of it?"
"Do tell..."
"I swear, I get creamed or I humiliate myself...I swear I hear this guy chortling...and he keeps saying stuff like 'More, More!' and 'Do it again!'....Never helps me, and when I need a hand, he just disappears..but next time I walk into a door, or you forget to uncuff me from the bed...there he is again! I'm not hallucinating, Lisa!....I think I'm being stalked..."
"I'm sure it's not like that at all..."
"I'm scared, Lisa...You should be too...I see him even when it's NOT me getting into trouble......"

Max wakes up on day 3 of honeymoon, sprawled across Miriya's "tracks of land" (yes, he's stil micron, she's still full-scale...don't ask )

Max; "Hunh wha, huh? Oh *snugelss closer and a finger strokes his back lazily* yeah, this is nice... but why do I get the feeling that something BAD is gonna happen?"
Miriya (in soothing basso); "What is it my love, you have been sleeping badly these past few days."
Max; "Nothing you've done dearie...just, I think this is far too good to be true."
Miriya; "I too feel this way. Is it protoculture?"
Max; "No... no. My pilot sense is tingling. Someone close to me is going to be in mortal peril soon."

Meanwhile over at the Lucky Dragon Restaurant

Rick Hunter; "Uhhhh Minmei, why are you dressed like that?"
-Whipcrack-
Minmei; "Oh Rick *pouts, dressed in dominatrix gear* Kyle just doesn't do it for me anymore. I need a REAL man. A Real man I can bend to my will. He just lies there and takes it with this goofy grin, not like you. You scream for real."
Rick; "Lisa! Max!!! Anybody.... HELLLLLLLPPPPPP!" *Runs away at comic character speeds*

Over in corner
Nameless voyueristic observer (You know who we're talking about. Yes, YOU!): "Hehehehe MOAR, yes, this is great!"

Back to Max
Max; *shiver*
Miriya; *shiver*
Corus; "I have a bad feeling about this. Where's Rick & Lisa?"

[taalismn]

[Over in corner
Nameless voyueristic observer (You know who we're talking about. Yes, YOU!): "Hehehehe MOAR, yes, this is great!"
"

A trio of figures wearing what look like crosses between Bioroid Terminator Power Armor and LoTR Sauron's personal armor, and holding giant blood-red katanas engraved in Tirolian runes, fades into view...
"YOU! YES, -YOU-! We are the Tirolian Enforcement Council of Grammatical Propriety! For your inexcusable perpetuation of the asinine substitution of the non-word 'moar' for the proper and perfectly usable 'more', YOU SHALL BE CORRECTED!!!...Grab his hands, Brothers, knuckles facing up!"

[DhAkael]

[Over in corner
Nameless voyueristic observer (You know who we're talking about. Yes, YOU!): "Hehehehe MOAR, yes, this is great!"
"

A trio of figures wearing what look like crosses between Bioroid Terminator Power Armor and LoTR Sauron's personal armor, and holding giant blood-red katanas engraved in Tirolian runes, fades into view...
"YOU! YES, -YOU-! We are the Tirolian Enforcement of Grammatical Propriety! For your inexcusable perpetuation of the asinine substitution of the non-word 'moar' for the proper and perfectly usable 'more', YOU SHALL BE CORRECTED!!!...Grab his hands, Brothers, knuckles facing up!"

Ow...

[taalismn]

"We are the Tirolian Enforcement Regiment of Grammatical Accuracy!""Waitaminute...I thought you guys were the Tirolian Enforcement Council of Grammatical Propriety?!"
The tallish and somewhat larger armored clone on the end answers rather abashedly;
"We were, but TERGA sounds so much more menacing than TECGP.."

[Aramanthus]

:::Appearing in a silent flash of lightning and flame. Activating magical defenses. Walking around the corner to see what is happening to poor Rick and Lisa! After watching another funny thing happens to that poor humiliating situation. I begin laughing very loudly! Then seeing that they've noticed my presence. I activate a complex item which teleports me away again in lightning and flame. Of course not realising I've dropped a business card.:::

The card reads;

Aramanthus: President and CEO of Clones'RUS. Archmage!
Present location: Wandering the multiverse looking for comedic situations. Presently right behind you!

[DhAkael]

:::Appearing in a silent flash of lightning and flame. Activating magical defenses. Walking around the corner to see what is happening to poor Rick and Lisa! After watching another funny thing happens to that poor humiliating situation. I begin laughing very loudly! Then seeing that they've noticed my presence. I activate a complex item which teleports me away again in lightning and flame. Of course not realising I've dropped a business card.:::

The card reads;

Aramanthus: President and CEO of Clones'RUS. Archmage!
Present location: Wandering the multiverse looking for comedic situations. Presently right behind you!

Lyn Kyle (picking up card and reading); "..."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Runs in random direction, camera focusing on the dropped business card; floating gently, ever so gently down to the pavement.

[Aramanthus]

ROFLMAO!!!! Awesomely funny! Please keep them up!

[taalismn]

:::Appearing in a silent flash of lightning and flame. Activating magical defenses. Walking around the corner to see what is happening to poor Rick and Lisa! After watching another funny thing happens to that poor humiliating situation. I begin laughing very loudly! Then seeing that they've noticed my presence. I activate a complex item which teleports me away again in lightning and flame. Of course not realising I've dropped a business card.:::

The card reads;

Aramanthus: President and CEO of Clones'RUS. Archmage!
Present location: Wandering the multiverse looking for comedic situations. Presently right behind you!

Lyn Kyle (picking up card and reading); "..."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Runs in random direction, camera focusing on the dropped business card; floating gently, ever so gently down to the pavement.

Given Kyle's martial arts skill, it should really go like this...
I shall describe Kyle's POV and actions, stolen liberally from Bill Cosby's old 'Kung Fu' routine:
"I hear a noise behind me..>I instantly whip around, slamming my elbow back, punch, kick, I pull his shirt up over his head and I grab the guy's arm, and rip it off and jam it where his leg should be...I stick his leg where his arm should be...I kick him everywhere else....
This is known as FUN..."

Comedic Situations...they're comedic if they happen to somebody else...they're painful as hell when they happen to you...

[DhAkael]

...and they call me a sadist.

Gentlemen, Woody Woodpecker, Bugs Bunny and Pinhead T. Cenobite would be proud of you.

[taalismn]

"Hmmm....Mars Base....supplies for the taking..."
"Sir...recon flights show the base is intact..but there's something down there that doesn't show up on any records..."
"Alien?"
"Don't think so...let me put it up on the screen..."
(SCreen lights up to show the abandoned Mars Base under the glaring Martian sun...and right on the landing apron is a giant metal....rabbit....)
"...okay...that's different..."
"Think it might be some sort of art work the original base personnel set up, just for kicks?"
"Investigate it in any case..."

(meanwhile, the Zentraedi are hiding, watching the SDF-1 land)
Khyron" "Grel! Are you sure this will work?"
Grel: "It will work...see, the humans will be curious, and they'll take the decoy aboard the fortress to study it...once inside their defenses, we come out and..sir, what's wrong?!"
Khyron: "..we come out of it?...Grel, when were you going to tell us WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HIDING INSIDE IT!???"
Grel: "...er...ah...uh-oh..."
Khyron: "...I really oughta shoot you now..."
(Just then the giant metal rabbit comes arcing over the edge of the canyon and squashes Khyron's Glaug....)

[drewkitty ~..~]

(Just then the giant metal rabbit comes arcing over the edge of the canyon and squashes Khyron's Glaug....)

[taalismn]

...and they call me a sadist.

Gentlemen, Woody Woodpecker, Bugs Bunny and Pinhead T. Cenobite would be proud of you.

Uh... That is a compliment right?

Signed,
Harry Leferts

Left handed, backhanded, and delivered with a sneer, but a compliment nevertheless...

[DhAkael]

...and they call me a sadist.

Gentlemen, Woody Woodpecker, Bugs Bunny and Pinhead T. Cenobite would be proud of you.

Uh... That is a compliment right?

Signed,
Harry Leferts

Left handed, backhanded, and delivered with a sneer, but a compliment nevertheless...

[taalismn]

Hey...if you're desperate enough for social interaction, the mind can bend just about ANYTHING into a positive thing...

Example: Krazy Kat and Ignatz Mouse...The Flying Brick of Love....

[DhAkael]

Hey...if you're desperate enough for social interaction, the mind can bend just about ANYTHING into a positive thing...
Example: Krazy Kat and Ignatz Mouse...The Flying Brick of Love....

LOL!
I miss the golden daze of cartoons before 'political corectness' and "What about the children!!!!?" *hysterical female shreik* became the battlecry of 80% of north america.

This is why 4-kidz exists

Thank all the gawdz that they didn't have enough money to buy the rights to Robotech from HG.
I may hate the whole kit & kabboodle of the Harmony Goldiggers for their asinine hissy fit with Tatsunoko / Big-West, but at least I have to give credit where it's due for maintianing what integrity was left of the 3 parts that made up B.B.T. after Macek got his meat-cleavers on the tapes.

-ahem- But I digress; On with the bloopers!

Meanwhile, atop the SDF-1 Battelbridge...

Cpt. Gloval; "I must admit *puffs pipe, ignoring bridge bunnies, as they seem to be 'tied-up'*, that I am most pleased with how more relaxed and personable Lisa is these days."

Claudia; "Yes captain."

Gloval; "Now then, how are our two newleyweds doing? Any indication when they will ready to join us for the peace talks with Breetai?"

Claudia *slow smile*; "Well..."

In cargo bay 3. Same place as Rick & Minmei were stranded at the begining of the SDF-1's voyage. Several dents and crushed human scaled cargo containers can be seen. 2 large forms can be seen, moving lazily under a massive tarpaulin.


Max; "Thanks for convincing me to take a dip in the tank. This is fantastic, and I don't even need my glasses at this scale."

Miriya; *LOL* "The pleasure is all mine...and you're welcome."

Reapir Crew Chief Leibowitz (1 deck above and 2 compartments over); "Okay gang, once the lovebirds are gone, we get over time X2. First, road repairs and deck plate replacement... Jones?! That's yours. Next..."

[taalismn]

...It's beyond breaking a bed...it's breaking a ROADbed...
"HOW many weatherballoons did they go through? I didn't even know we still STOCKED weather balloons..."
"...six dozen...the man's a safe sex machine! If only they went into movi..."
"Complete that sentence and I WILL have to kill you..."

[DhAkael]

:shock: ...It's beyond breaking a bed...it's breaking a ROADbed...
"HOW many weatherballoons did they go through? I didn't even know we still STOCKED weather balloons..."
"...six dozen...the man's a safe sex machine! If only they went into movi..."
"Complete that sentence and I WILL have to kill you..."

Snarfing lemonade is cotraindicated

[taalismn]

:shock: ...It's beyond breaking a bed...it's breaking a ROADbed...
"HOW many weatherballoons did they go through? I didn't even know we still STOCKED weather balloons..."
"...six dozen...the man's a safe sex machine! If only they went into movi..."
"Complete that sentence and I WILL have to kill you..."

Snarfing lemonade is cotraindicated

Hey, Palladium is a good wholesome family-oriented company...A dysfunctional family that dabbles in drug-enhancement, supernatural possession, genocidal technological development, gunboat diplomacy, ethically questionable genetic engineering, and the promotion of home possession of miltary-grade firepower in the event of global catastrophe...but a family nevertheless...Had I not pulled that second to last line...THEY would have killed me....

[taalismn]

That thin screeching noise you hear is Doctor Ruth Westheimer being chucked out the airlock...
Shortly before Doctor Phil McGraw gets spaced after her...

[drewkitty ~..~]

*as three darkly clad MIB walk away from the air lock*"gota chuck out those who are a waist to even the air they breath"*one of them mutters*

[DhAkael]

That thin screeching noise you hear is Doctor Ruth Westheimer being chucked out the airlock...
Shortly before Doctor Phil McGraw gets spaced after her...

Cpt. Gloval; *Slow smile*

[taalismn]

..as the lines of Gilbert and Sullivan's 'The List' waft over the intercom...."You may put them on the list, you may put them on the list, and none of them be missed!"

[Alpha 11]

ROFLMAO!!! Awesome ones guys! Please keep them coming!

"There he is again..."
"Who, Rick?"
"Him! Over there!"
"I don't anybody. Who am I supposed to be seeing?"
"Him! I see him all the time!"
"WHO, Rick?"
"THis guy..."
"What guy?!"
"THis guy, I keep seeing him...seems everywhere I go, I keep seeing him...every time I take a tumble, or stick my foot in my mouth, or get hurt...there he is!"
"Really?"
"And you wanna know the worst part of it?"
"Do tell..."
"I swear, I get creamed or I humiliate myself...I swear I hear this guy chortling...and he keeps saying stuff like 'More, More!' and 'Do it again!'....Never helps me, and when I need a hand, he just disappears..but next time I walk into a door, or you forget to uncuff me from the bed...there he is again! I'm not hallucinating, Lisa!....I think I'm being stalked..."
"I'm sure it's not like that at all..."
"I'm scared, Lisa...You should be too...I see him even when it's NOT me getting into trouble......"

ROFLMAO!!! Awesome ones guys! Please keep them coming!

"There he is again..."
"Who, Rick?"
"Him! Over there!"
"I don't anybody. Who am I supposed to be seeing?"
"Him! I see him all the time!"
"WHO, Rick?"
"THis guy..."
"What guy?!"
"THis guy, I keep seeing him...seems everywhere I go, I keep seeing him...every time I take a tumble, or stick my foot in my mouth, or get hurt...there he is!"
"Really?"
"And you wanna know the worst part of it?"
"Do tell..."
"I swear, I get creamed or I humiliate myself...I swear I hear this guy chortling...and he keeps saying stuff like 'More, More!' and 'Do it again!'....Never helps me, and when I need a hand, he just disappears..but next time I walk into a door, or you forget to uncuff me from the bed...there he is again! I'm not hallucinating, Lisa!....I think I'm being stalked..."
"I'm sure it's not like that at all..."
"I'm scared, Lisa...You should be too...I see him even when it's NOT me getting into trouble......"

Max wakes up on day 3 of honeymoon, sprawled across Miriya's "tracks of land" (yes, he's stil micron, she's still full-scale...don't ask )

Max; "Hunh wha, huh? Oh *snugelss closer and a finger strokes his back lazily* yeah, this is nice... but why do I get the feeling that something BAD is gonna happen?"
Miriya (in soothing basso); "What is it my love, you have been sleeping badly these past few days."
Max; "Nothing you've done dearie...just, I think this is far too good to be true."
Miriya; "I too feel this way. Is it protoculture?"
Max; "No... no. My pilot sense is tingling. Someone close to me is going to be in mortal peril soon."

Meanwhile over at the Lucky Dragon Restaurant

Rick Hunter; "Uhhhh Minmei, why are you dressed like that?"
-Whipcrack-
Minmei; "Oh Rick *pouts, dressed in dominatrix gear* Kyle just doesn't do it for me anymore. I need a REAL man. A Real man I can bend to my will. He just lies there and takes it with this goofy grin, not like you. You scream for real."
Rick; "Lisa! Max!!! Anybody.... HELLLLLLLPPPPPP!" *Runs away at comic character speeds*

Over in corner
Nameless voyueristic observer (You know who we're talking about. Yes, YOU!): "Hehehehe MOAR, yes, this is great!"

Back to Max
Max; *shiver*
Miriya; *shiver*
Corus; "I have a bad feeling about this. Where's Rick & Lisa?"

:::Appearing in a silent flash of lightning and flame. Activating magical defenses. Walking around the corner to see what is happening to poor Rick and Lisa! After watching another funny thing happens to that poor humiliating situation. I begin laughing very loudly! Then seeing that they've noticed my presence. I activate a complex item which teleports me away again in lightning and flame. Of course not realising I've dropped a business card.:::

The card reads;

Aramanthus: President and CEO of Clones'RUS. Archmage!
Present location: Wandering the multiverse looking for comedic situations. Presently right behind you!

:::Appearing in a silent flash of lightning and flame. Activating magical defenses. Walking around the corner to see what is happening to poor Rick and Lisa! After watching another funny thing happens to that poor humiliating situation. I begin laughing very loudly! Then seeing that they've noticed my presence. I activate a complex item which teleports me away again in lightning and flame. Of course not realising I've dropped a business card.:::

The card reads;

Aramanthus: President and CEO of Clones'RUS. Archmage!
Present location: Wandering the multiverse looking for comedic situations. Presently right behind you!

Lyn Kyle (picking up card and reading); "..."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Runs in random direction, camera focusing on the dropped business card; floating gently, ever so gently down to the pavement.

:::Appearing in a silent flash of lightning and flame. Activating magical defenses. Walking around the corner to see what is happening to poor Rick and Lisa! After watching another funny thing happens to that poor humiliating situation. I begin laughing very loudly! Then seeing that they've noticed my presence. I activate a complex item which teleports me away again in lightning and flame. Of course not realising I've dropped a business card.:::

The card reads;

Aramanthus: President and CEO of Clones'RUS. Archmage!
Present location: Wandering the multiverse looking for comedic situations. Presently right behind you!

Lyn Kyle (picking up card and reading); "..."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Runs in random direction, camera focusing on the dropped business card; floating gently, ever so gently down to the pavement.

He keeps running until he slowly slows and stops. Looking behind him, he starts to catch his breath. "WHEW! I think I'm out of danger... What's that sound?" He then looks up to see something falling towards him.

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" His eyes widen as he realizes that it's a flaming cow rght before it hits him. A few moments later the cow gets up and trots away leaving Kyle twitching in a smoking crater. Harry then walks out and laughs.

"It's always best to do it just as they think they've escaped... Makes it funnier then."

Signed,
Harry Leferts

"Hmmm....Mars Base....supplies for the taking..."
"Sir...recon flights show the base is intact..but there's something down there that doesn't show up on any records..."
"Alien?"
"Don't think so...let me put it up on the screen..."
(SCreen lights up to show the abandoned Mars Base under the glaring Martian sun...and right on the landing apron is a giant metal....rabbit....)
"...okay...that's different..."
"Think it might be some sort of art work the original base personnel set up, just for kicks?"
"Investigate it in any case..."

(meanwhile, the Zentraedi are hiding, watching the SDF-1 land)
Khyron" "Grel! Are you sure this will work?"
Grel: "It will work...see, the humans will be curious, and they'll take the decoy aboard the fortress to study it...once inside their defenses, we come out and..sir, what's wrong?!"
Khyron: "..we come out of it?...Grel, when were you going to tell us WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HIDING INSIDE IT!???"
Grel: "...er...ah...uh-oh..."
Khyron: "...I really oughta shoot you now..."
(Just then the giant metal rabbit comes arcing over the edge of the canyon and squashes Khyron's Glaug....)

[Alpha 11]

:shock: ...It's beyond breaking a bed...it's breaking a ROADbed...
"HOW many weatherballoons did they go through? I didn't even know we still STOCKED weather balloons..."
"...six dozen...the man's a safe sex machine! If only they went into movi..."
"Complete that sentence and I WILL have to kill you..."

Snarfing lemonade is cotraindicated

Hey, Palladium is a good wholesome family-oriented company...A dysfunctional family that dabbles in drug-enhancement, supernatural possession, genocidal technological development, gunboat diplomacy, ethically questionable genetic engineering, and the promotion of home possession of miltary-grade firepower in the event of global catastrophe...but a family nevertheless...Had I not pulled that second to last line...THEY would have killed me....

[Aramanthus]

ROFLMAO!!! Those were great! Please keep them coming!

[drewkitty ~..~]

TL:M

*during the primmer of the "Little White Dragon"*
Lisa and Rick are in her quarters, during the transformation*
R:"I'm glad Sammy is filling in for you again today."
L:*leans over and kiss's rick*"yes.... but she is still a bit stressed."
R:"Yep, to be crude, she need to get laid."
L:*giggles*"more like she didn't get very far with her man before he left this time."
R:*smirks*"No, more like she didn't get enough from her man this time before he had ta leave.
L:*quiet for a bit thinking, then gasps*"Sammy, the air lock... No wonder why she was perky the rest of that cycle."
R:"And she might beat Max a Miria in having a kid, now how about we work on that...."*fade to black ....*

[DhAkael]

Time-loop
Onboard Breatai's flagship, instead of Minmei being passed around from Bron Rico & Konda, another musical sensation infects the easily impressionable Zentrad...

(Scene of a line of 100 Zentraedi, all moving their hips back & forth while flapping their hands like bunny or cat ears)

"Doodo doo-oo
Yeah-eah-eah-eah

Vi undrarar ni redo alt vara med
Armarna upp nu ska ni fa se
Kom igjen
Hvem som helst kan vara med
So ror pa era fotter
O-a-a-a!
Och vicka era hofter
O-la-la-la!
Gjör som vi
Till denna melodi

Oh-ahh-ahh-ahh!
Dansa med oss
Klappa era händer
Gjör som vi gjör
Ta nagrå steg at vanster
Lyssna och lar
Missa inte chansen
Nu ar vi har med
Caramelldansen!

O-o-oa-oa
O-o-oa-oa - ao
O-o-oa-oa
O-o-oa-oa - ao"

Our intrepid hero's still stuck on-board the flagship, having missed their connecting flight this cycle through.

Lisa Hayes (looking on in horror from behind recycling unit); "Oh Rick, you did NOT do that!"
Rick Hunter; "MMMMMhmmm. I did and damned proud of it."
Lisa: "For the love of Buhdda, Kami, Yaweh and heck, even the ret-con'd out of existance Hayden, WHY!?"
Ben Dixson (picking teeth after his C-ration bar); "Breatai owed Rick 100 bucks from that Poker game last pass-through"
Max Sterling; " Commander, remind me to never play poker with you.."

[taalismn]

Lisa Hayes (looking on in horror from behind recycling unit); "Oh Rick, you did NOT do that!"
Rick Hunter; "MMMMMhmmm. I did and damned proud of it."
Lisa: "For the love of Buhdda, Kami, Yaweh and heck, even the ret-con'd out of existance Hayden, WHY!?"
Ben Dixson (picking teeth after his C-ration bar); "Breatai owed Rick 100 bucks from that Poker game last pass-through"
Max Sterling; " Commander, remind me to never play poker with you.."

I imagine the poker games during TimeLoops can get pretty interesting...

(Breetai's Flagship: The Dolza Interrogation)
"You're willing to give us the SDF-1 over the outcome of a GAME???!!! What is this, some kind of Micronian trick?! I shall squash you if it is!!!"
"Awww...you're just afraid of losing...Now DEAL! And no peeking at the cards!"
"Why should I?!!"
"Milord Dolza, we may as well..."
"Dolza, if you don't, I'll unzip my spacesuit and unleash a most powerful force!"
"AGGHHH!! It -IS-a trick!!"
"No, it's a casual innuendo..."
"Lisa, you didn't..."
"Yep...Frederick's of Hollywood's Weapons of Mass Distraction line.,.'Make Love, Not War'..."
"They HAD to have gotten the idea from you..."
"I refuse to give in to your threats! You forget your position here---ieeeieieeieiee----!!!"
(Lisa pulls her spacesuit back over her shoulder)"Now, DEAL."
"Right....We win, we get the Protoculture Matrix AND this 'MInmei' weapon for use against the Masters, and if you WIN, you go free, WE surrender, and we STILL get the Matrix?"
"PLus any other stakes that can be thrown in as you see fit..."
"I still think it's a trick..."
"We could always play strip poker, that would prove we 're hiding nothing..."(zzziiiipppp)
"NoNoNONoNo! WE're fine, we're fine...Seven cards, right?"

[keir451]

Time-loop
Onboard Breatai's flagship, instead of Minmei being passed around from Bron Rico & Konda, another musical sensation infects the easily impressionable Zentrad...

(Scene of a line of 100 Zentraedi, all moving their hips back & forth while flapping their hands like bunny or cat ears)

"Doodo doo-oo
Yeah-eah-eah-eah

Vi undrarar ni redo alt vara med
Armarna upp nu ska ni fa se
Kom igjen
Hvem som helst kan vara med
So ror pa era fotter
O-a-a-a!
Och vicka era hofter
O-la-la-la!
Gjör som vi
Till denna melodi

Oh-ahh-ahh-ahh!
Dansa med oss
Klappa era händer
Gjör som vi gjör
Ta nagrå steg at vanster
Lyssna och lar
Missa inte chansen
Nu ar vi har med
Caramelldansen!

O-o-oa-oa
O-o-oa-oa - ao
O-o-oa-oa
O-o-oa-oa - ao"

Our intrepid hero's still stuck on-board the flagship, having missed their connecting flight this cycle through.

Lisa Hayes (looking on in horror from behind recycling unit); "Oh Rick, you did NOT do that!"
Rick Hunter; "MMMMMhmmm. I did and damned proud of it."
Lisa: "For the love of Buhdda, Kami, Yaweh and heck, even the ret-con'd out of existance Hayden, WHY!?"
Ben Dixson (picking teeth after his C-ration bar); "Breatai owed Rick 100 bucks from that Poker game last pass-through"
Max Sterling; " Commander, remind me to never play poker with you.."

Evil, man, just plain evil and wrong

[taalismn]

Evil, man, just plain evil and wrong

Terms that are SO appropriate (and often used) on this thread....

(see you folks next week...taking brief sabbatical from internet and phones to rejuvenate the little gray cells...don't let me down; I expect too see evidence of a continuing flow of fresh material in my absence when I return)

[Alpha 11]

Time-loop
Onboard Breatai's flagship, instead of Minmei being passed around from Bron Rico & Konda, another musical sensation infects the easily impressionable Zentrad...

(Scene of a line of 100 Zentraedi, all moving their hips back & forth while flapping their hands like bunny or cat ears)

"Doodo doo-oo
Yeah-eah-eah-eah

Vi undrarar ni redo alt vara med
Armarna upp nu ska ni fa se
Kom igjen
Hvem som helst kan vara med
So ror pa era fotter
O-a-a-a!
Och vicka era hofter
O-la-la-la!
Gjör som vi
Till denna melodi

Oh-ahh-ahh-ahh!
Dansa med oss
Klappa era händer
Gjör som vi gjör
Ta nagrå steg at vanster
Lyssna och lar
Missa inte chansen
Nu ar vi har med
Caramelldansen!

O-o-oa-oa
O-o-oa-oa - ao
O-o-oa-oa
O-o-oa-oa - ao"

Our intrepid hero's still stuck on-board the flagship, having missed their connecting flight this cycle through.

Lisa Hayes (looking on in horror from behind recycling unit); "Oh Rick, you did NOT do that!"
Rick Hunter; "MMMMMhmmm. I did and damned proud of it."
Lisa: "For the love of Buhdda, Kami, Yaweh and heck, even the ret-con'd out of existance Hayden, WHY!?"
Ben Dixson (picking teeth after his C-ration bar); "Breatai owed Rick 100 bucks from that Poker game last pass-through"
Max Sterling; " Commander, remind me to never play poker with you.."

After hearing that, I don't think I want to know what they are singing.

Lisa Hayes (looking on in horror from behind recycling unit); "Oh Rick, you did NOT do that!"
Rick Hunter; "MMMMMhmmm. I did and damned proud of it."
Lisa: "For the love of Buhdda, Kami, Yaweh and heck, even the ret-con'd out of existance Hayden, WHY!?"
Ben Dixson (picking teeth after his C-ration bar); "Breatai owed Rick 100 bucks from that Poker game last pass-through"
Max Sterling; " Commander, remind me to never play poker with you.."

I imagine the poker games during TimeLoops can get pretty interesting...

(Breetai's Flagship: The Dolza Interrogation)
"You're willing to give us the SDF-1 over the outcome of a GAME???!!! What is this, some kind of Micronian trick?! I shall squash you if it is!!!"
"Awww...you're just afraid of losing...Now DEAL! And no peeking at the cards!"
"Why should I?!!"
"Milord Dolza, we may as well..."
"Dolza, if you don't, I'll unzip my spacesuit and unleash a most powerful force!"
"AGGHHH!! It -IS-a trick!!"
"No, it's a casual innuendo..."
"Lisa, you didn't..."
"Yep...Frederick's of Hollywood's Weapons of Mass Distraction line.,.'Make Love, Not War'..."
"They HAD to have gotten the idea from you..."
"I refuse to give in to your threats! You forget your position here---ieeeieieeieiee----!!!"
(Lisa pulls her spacesuit back over her shoulder)"Now, DEAL."
"Right....We win, we get the Protoculture Matrix AND this 'MInmei' weapon for use against the Masters, and if you WIN, you go free, WE surrender, and we STILL get the Matrix?"
"PLus any other stakes that can be thrown in as you see fit..."
"I still think it's a trick..."
"We could always play strip poker, that would prove we 're hiding nothing..."(zzziiiipppp)
"NoNoNONoNo! WE're fine, we're fine...Seven cards, right?"