Robotech Blooper Reels

[drewkitty ~..~]

Robotech Master:"Behold our masterstroke to cripple the micronians' defenses!"
Clone Master: "...it's some sort of fruit...?!"
RM: "Not just any fruit, but one has the proven property of neutralizing their aerospace forces' finest pilots, and inciting terror in the crews of their transformable mecha! With but a fraction of the Protoculture needed to create the Invid Fighters, we can clone-grow millions of these innocuous-looking plants and distribute them across the planet below!"
CM: "..'innocuous-looking'?...Looks pretty hostile to me, what with those scales and spikes...."
CM2: "...downright grenade-looking if you ask me...."
CM3: "..sure the micronians aren't going to simply run away when they see it?"
RM: "We're COUNTING on it."

Okkkkkk..., what is it?

The not coconut part of a pinacolada.

[taalismn]

Southern Cross Tactical Corp Corporal: "Why the hell are those aliens bombing us with DURIAN fruit?!"
Lieutenant: "You know what this stuff is?!"
Corporal: "Yeah, I went to Thailand on vacation once....THis is Durian....ugliest damn fruit in the world, and smelly as &*^*&(! ...They BAN these things on public transportation!"
L: "You sure?! They look like some sort of alien pods! I don['t want some face-gripping thing to come out of them and eat us!"
C: "Yeah, I'm sure...nothing like a durian...What the heck is up with those aliens?!"
L: "Damnfino...."

[Alpha 11]

Southern Cross Tactical Corp Corporal: "Why the hell are those aliens bombing us with DURIAN fruit?!"
Lieutenant: "You know what this stuff is?!"
Corporal: "Yeah, I went to Thailand on vacation once....THis is Durian....ugliest damn fruit in the world, and smelly as &*^*&(! ...They BAN these things on public transportation!"
L: "You sure?! They look like some sort of alien pods! I don['t want some face-gripping thing to come out of them and eat us!"
C: "Yeah, I'm sure...nothing like a durian...What the heck is up with those aliens?!"
L: "Damnfino...."

[taalismn]

TLM:
"Okay...this is new....You openned your STEAK HOUSE on the Macross? There already was one!"
"...But NOT one with a pub attached! Hey, people gotta have hobbies....You and Lisa have your sex games....Max and Miriya have each other....I figured I'd have something of my own, and since I love food and drink so much..."
"'Play It Again, Sam's'...cute....So, how'd you get a liquor license? I mean, you're officially barely old enough to drink here....and how do you manage to keep it running while you're piloting? "
"Hey, you're asking ME that? Come on, Rick, forging the papers was no problem...and when I'm on duty, I got people here...Heck, I made enough business in the first month to drive the old place out of business and absorb their staff..."
"And I bet you've got your liquor cabinet stocked from your dimensional pockets..."
"Hey...if there was one thing I learned from my time as an Imp, it was an appreciation for fine food and drink..."
(Shudder_"...let's not mention that place again.."
"Sorry...Well, I WAS going to call it 'Big Red Dragon's House of Sizzlin'', but I know how much you and Lisa like Lena and Max over at the White Dragon's...maybe I'll bear that name in mind though for a barbeque joint or chili house."
"Ben Dixon, Franchise King."
"..Hey, that has a nice ring to it..So how you want your slab of meat?"

[taalismn]

Ben Dixon as an entrepreneur of food? That makes a scary amount of sense...maybe it will keep him form getting fragged unnecessarily!

Yeah, I figured I had to throw him a bone...
Here's another...

TLM:

"Max?! You're taking Ben's place for the Dolza Interrogation?!"
"Yeah, I switched off with him...He was complaining of having nothing to do while you tried out new ways to scuzz with Dolza's mind, so he's playing Cavalry this time around...Don't worry, I brought a book to read while you warp the light fantastic with Male Zentraedi sensibilities..."
'Max...I hope Ben knows what to do,,,what you did was pretty unique..."
"Don't worry, I gave him explicit written instructions. He should be just fine...Now out of perverse curiousity, what are you going to do this time? If you're out of ideas,I can always call Mir to break into the conference room..."
"...well, we were thinking 'Arabian Fantasy'...Rick's gotten pretty good with a zitidar...."

(Meanwhile, elsewhere aboard Breetai's ship..."
"Okay, okay...I can do this...'turn left at the next intersection....go in the fifth door on the right just before the patrol...okay...that sounds right, but where's the patrol? Max wouldn't have mentioned it if it wasn't important....Arrgghhh!!!...Okay...Oops!...Ah!<"Excuse Me? Are you the guy I'm supposed to punch out?">"
<"WHA---?!">
"I'll take that as a 'Yes'."
*PUNCH!*

[Alpha 11]

TLM:
"Okay...this is new....You openned your STEAK HOUSE on the Macross? There already was one!"
"...But NOT one with a pub attached! Hey, people gotta have hobbies....You and Lisa have your sex games....Max and Miriya have each other....I figured I'd have something of my own, and since I love food and drink so much..."
"'Play It Again, Sam's'...cute....So, how'd you get a liquor license? I mean, you're officially barely old enough to drink here....and how do you manage to keep it running while you're piloting? "
"Hey, you're asking ME that? Come on, Rick, forging the papers was no problem...and when I'm on duty, I got people here...Heck, I made enough business in the first month to drive the old place out of business and absorb their staff..."
"And I bet you've got your liquor cabinet stocked from your dimensional pockets..."
"Hey...if there was one thing I learned from my time as an Imp, it was an appreciation for fine food and drink..."
(Shudder_"...let's not mention that place again.."
"Sorry...Well, I WAS going to call it 'Big Red Dragon's House of Sizzlin'', but I know how much you and Lisa like Lena and Max over at the White Dragon's...maybe I'll bear that name in mind though for a barbeque joint or chili house."
"Ben Dixon, Franchise King."
"..Hey, that has a nice ring to it..So how you want your slab of meat?"

Nice!

Ben Dixon as an entrepreneur of food? That makes a scary amount of sense...maybe it will keep him form getting fragged unnecessarily!

Yeah, I figured I had to throw him a bone...
Here's another...

TLM:

"Max?! You're taking Ben's place for the Dolza Interrogation?!"
"Yeah, I switched off with him...He was complaining of having nothing to do while you tried out new ways to scuzz with Dolza's mind, so he's playing Cavalry this time around...Don't worry, I brought a book to read while you warp the light fantastic with Male Zentraedi sensibilities..."
'Max...I hope Ben knows what to do,,,what you did was pretty unique..."
"Don't worry, I gave him explicit written instructions. He should be just fine...Now out of perverse curiousity, what are you going to do this time? If you're out of ideas,I can always call Mir to break into the conference room..."
"...well, we were thinking 'Arabian Fantasy'...Rick's gotten pretty good with a zitidar...."

(Meanwhile, elsewhere aboard Breetai's ship..."
"Okay, okay...I can do this...'turn left at the next intersection....go in the fifth door on the right just before the patrol...okay...that sounds right, but where's the patrol? Max wouldn't have mentioned it if it wasn't important....Arrgghhh!!!...Okay...Oops!...Ah!<"Excuse Me? Are you the guy I'm supposed to punch out?">"
<"WHA---?!">
"I'll take that as a 'Yes'."
*PUNCH!*

[DhAkael]

UnNamed Zentraedi Guard; "Ugh" *gets up off floor, holding stomach and breathing in & out heavily* "Nice jab, but you need to put some Doss'kez into it."
Ben: "Huh? Bu-bu-but aren't you supposed to fall down when you get gut punched?"
UNZG: "Oh, you want Yorga. I'm Ah'lee; 3 time winner of the 80th. supression fleet boxing league."
Ben: "Of COURSE you are...sure, why not?"
(now named) Ah'Lee; "Now, when you want to knock a warrior out..."

Disolve as the Zentraedi swings a right-cross at Ben's VF, to the holding cell where Max is sitting trying not to pee himself laughing, as Rick & Lisa change out of their 'Harem' garb.

Lisa "Did you hear that Rick?"
Rick "What?"
Lisa: "Sounded like a freight train being derailed and someone screaming like a girl."

All 3: "Oh hell... BEN!"

[taalismn]

BWWAHHHHAAHHHAAAHHHAAAAAA!!!

You got Ben's tone down PERFECTLY...that right mix of desperate half-mania as he confirms that yes, the universe is being a meanie....

TLM:

Lisa finishes up her last dance set, the last veil ghosting into the air, the last finger- castanet and zitidar string resonates through the suddenly quiet room...
Lisa: (grabbing a robe from nowhere and wrapping her self in it)"...And then the guy has a cigarette and the woman orders a pizza!"
DING!DING!
(Ben wobbles out of the shadows on a bicycle in a pizza delivery uniform and what looks like an articulated full body cast, a stack of pizza boxes balanced on the front handle bars....The pizza boxes have 'Big Red Dragon's' on them...)
All: "All right! Time to dig in!"
Max: "Ben...you're late...no tip for you."
Ben:(through wired jaw) "....nnghhh..."
Lisa: "Hey! Where's my order of garlic sticks?"
Meanwhile, around the table, the Zentraedi are all mentally Blue Screen of Death...except for Exedore..only his twitching feet are visible above the edge of the conference table...Seems that last veil landed on him...
Meanwhile...in a corridor elsewhere on the ship, Ah'lee's sitting on top of a totalled VF, munching on a box of garlic sticks...
Ah'lee: "...mmmm....tasty...different...but definitely tasty..."

[Alpha 11]

UnNamed Zentraedi Guard; "Ugh" *gets up off floor, holding stomach and breathing in & out heavily* "Nice jab, but you need to put some Doss'kez into it."
Ben: "Huh? Bu-bu-but aren't you supposed to fall down when you get gut punched?"
UNZG: "Oh, you want Yorga. I'm Ah'lee; 3 time winner of the 80th. supression fleet boxing league."
Ben: "Of COURSE you are...sure, why not?"
(now named) Ah'Lee; "Now, when you want to knock a warrior out..."

Disolve as the Zentraedi swings a right-cross at Ben's VF, to the holding cell where Max is sitting trying not to pee himself laughing, as Rick & Lisa change out of their 'Harem' garb.

Lisa "Did you hear that Rick?"
Rick "What?"
Lisa: "Sounded like a freight train being derailed and someone screaming like a girl."

All 3: "Oh hell... BEN!"

BWWAHHHHAAHHHAAAHHHAAAAAA!!!

You got Ben's tone down PERFECTLY...that right mix of desperate half-mania as he confirms that yes, the universe is being a meanie....

TLM:

Lisa finishes up her last dance set, the last veil ghosting into the air, the last finger- castanet and zitidar string resonates through the suddenly quiet room...
Lisa: (grabbing a robe from nowhere and wrapping her self in it)"...And then the guy has a cigarette and the woman orders a pizza!"
DING!DING!
(Ben wobbles out of the shadows on a bicycle in a pizza delivery uniform and what looks like an articulated full body cast, a stack of pizza boxes balanced on the front handle bars....The pizza boxes have 'Big Red Dragon's' on them...)
All: "All right! Time to dig in!"
Max: "Ben...you're late...no tip for you."
Ben:(through wired jaw) "....nnghhh..."
Lisa: "Hey! Where's my order of garlic sticks?"
Meanwhile, around the table, the Zentraedi are all mentally Blue Screen of Death...except for Exedore..only his twitching feet are visible above the edge of the conference table...Seems that last veil landed on him...
Meanwhile...in a corridor elsewhere on the ship, Ah'lee's sitting on top of a totalled VF, munching on a box of garlic sticks...
Ah'lee: "...mmmm....tasty...different...but definitely tasty..."

[taalismn]

Ah'lee's sitting there, finishing off his snack, when another Zentraedi comes upon him...
<"Ah'lee? ">
<"Yeah? What you want?">
*GARLIC BREATH WAVE*
<"...hgggkk....!!!...aaahhhhh....">
*THUD*
<"Oh honestly, Yorga! I swear, you're eight tons of tissue paper!!! Jaw of glass, guts of mush!">

[Alpha 11]

Ah'lee's sitting there, finishing off his snack, when another Zentraedi comes upon him...
<"Ah'lee? ">
<"Yeah? What you want?">
*GARLIC BREATH WAVE*
<"...hgggkk....!!!...aaahhhhh....">
*THUD*
<"Oh honestly, Yorga! I swear, you're eight tons of tissue paper!!! Jaw of glass, guts of mush!">

[drewkitty ~..~]

*Ben and the others sneaking down the hallway pass a passed out zentrade*
M:"what's the matter with him?"
B: "seams that their noses are better then ours, if take a wiff you can smell the garlic on the air"
L:*slugs Ben*"so you lost our order of garlic bread intentionally. Good thinking"
B: "Thanks mamm"
R: "Still that doesn't let you off the hook, we expect our free steak dinners when we get back"

[Aramanthus]

ROFLMAO!! Those were some great ones. Please keep them coming!

[DhAkael]

Off camera at the set of 'The Shadow Chronicles'

Scott: -sigh- "20 + years and all they can do is give me 25 minutes of screen time"

Marlene / Ariel: "Yeah I got more, but look at me! I'm a pin-up model for north american otaku! At least I got off better than poor Sheryl over on lots #6."

Rook: "Whine whine whine; you both at least made it to screen. Me and the rest of the gang back on ole' terra-firma got jack squat, and we CARRIED you two through the entire series run."

Rand; "YEAH!"

Lancer (flipping through GQ; ALUCE Edition); "Personally I'm happy they kept me and Sera out of this. You've read the semi-canon stuff about our relationship. Sera dies or turns energy form or reduced to goo, and I become *shudder* like Lyn-Kyle. NO no no no no, and HELL no. I like my happily ever after and want to keep it that way, THANK YOU."

Scott: "Sorry guys, I'm just bored... no offense Marlene. I know i'm with one of the hottest, powerful girls in North American wanna-be anime (well, execpt for that Katara chick over on lot 2), and I'm gonna be in the supposed sequal to 'SC' if they ever get off their fat behinds and actauly, you know DO it. But it's been over 20 years!"

A door opens up and in walks a long-blue-haired teen-ager wearing a skin tight flight suit in Macross-True styling, flight helmet in the crook of his elbow. Marlene and Rook both try hard not to drool on their own shoes.

Alto: "Hi gang! How's retirement treating you?"

Dark clouds over the heads of Lancer, Rand & Scott as they slowly and with great deliberation get out of their set-chairs and stalk towards the 'Hime'

Alto: "Umm... I just remebered, I'm needed on set... GOTTAGOGOODLUCKONGETTINGANOTHERSEQUALOKAYLUVYOURWORKBYE!" *runs away before the violence starts*

[taalismn]

"Oh..You know what I like best about these Earth Liberation Day parades? The Shriners and their little cars!"
(we see a group of full-sized Zentraedi wearing fezes as they drive down an highway lined with people..only they're on the flatbeds of full-sized trucks that have the cab roofs removed, and they're driving them via oversized controls attached through the cab compartments...occasionally, with a screech of brakes and smoke they bump into each other as they cruise down the road past the cheering crowds...)

[DhAkael]

"Oh..You know what I like best about these Earth Liberation Day parades? The Shriners and their little cars!"
(we see a group of full-sized Zentraedi wearing fezes as they drive down an highway lined with people..only they're on the flatbeds of full-sized trucks that have the cab roofs removed, and they're driving them via oversized controls attached through the cab compartments...occasionally, with a screech of brakes and smoke they bump into each other as they cruise down the road past the cheering crowds...)

[Alpha 11]

Off camera at the set of 'The Shadow Chronicles'

Scott: -sigh- "20 + years and all they can do is give me 25 minutes of screen time"

Marlene / Ariel: "Yeah I got more, but look at me! I'm a pin-up model for north american otaku! At least I got off better than poor Sheryl over on lots #6."

Rook: "Whine whine whine; you both at least made it to screen. Me and the rest of the gang back on ole' terra-firma got jack squat, and we CARRIED you two through the entire series run."

Rand; "YEAH!"

Lancer (flipping through GQ; ALUCE Edition); "Personally I'm happy they kept me and Sera out of this. You've read the semi-canon stuff about our relationship. Sera dies or turns energy form or reduced to goo, and I become *shudder* like Lyn-Kyle. NO no no no no, and HELL no. I like my happily ever after and want to keep it that way, THANK YOU."

Scott: "Sorry guys, I'm just bored... no offense Marlene. I know i'm with one of the hottest, powerful girls in North American wanna-be anime (well, execpt for that Katara chick over on lot 2), and I'm gonna be in the supposed sequal to 'SC' if they ever get off their fat behinds and actauly, you know DO it. But it's been over 20 years!"

A door opens up and in walks a long-blue-haired teen-ager wearing a skin tight flight suit in Macross-True styling, flight helmet in the crook of his elbow. Marlene and Rook both try hard not to drool on their own shoes.

Alto: "Hi gang! How's retirement treating you?"

Dark clouds over the heads of Lancer, Rand & Scott as they slowly and with great deliberation get out of their set-chairs and stalk towards the 'Hime'

Alto: "Umm... I just remebered, I'm needed on set... GOTTAGOGOODLUCKONGETTINGANOTHERSEQUALOKAYLUVYOURWORKBYE!" *runs away before the violence starts*

Sad but true. And I hope that they get something out in year or two.

"Oh..You know what I like best about these Earth Liberation Day parades? The Shriners and their little cars!"
(we see a group of full-sized Zentraedi wearing fezes as they drive down an highway lined with people..only they're on the flatbeds of full-sized trucks that have the cab roofs removed, and they're driving them via oversized controls attached through the cab compartments...occasionally, with a screech of brakes and smoke they bump into each other as they cruise down the road past the cheering crowds...)

[drewkitty ~..~]

*a hot dark and steamy bedroom, The door opens, light pouring onto Vanessa and Kim with a 'restrained' Aluto, the light stream in around a lithe female from*
"What are you two hags doing with my Dorei?"
*from the side of the female*"Sheryl, He's mine too."
*as Sheryl gets shoved aside by a shorter green haired girl, that rushes in to clock Kim, then rushes the rest of the way to aluto's side.
*aluto seams to ether in a drugged daze or dazed to being over stimulated.*
*Vanessa gets two steps before she gets clobbered by Sheryl*
S:"good, we got here before they could get started."*noting all three were still fully clothed*"Ranka, do you think it would be a waste to just let him out, the hags got him in his place where he can't run away like he usually does."

[DhAkael]

*a hot dark and steamy bedroom, The door opens, light pouring onto Vanessa and Kim with a 'restrained' Aluto, the light stream in around a lithe female from*
"What are you two hags doing with my Dorei?"
*from the side of the female*"Sheryl, He's mine too."
*as Sheryl gets shoved aside by a shorter green haired girl, that rushes in to clock Kim, then rushes the rest of the way to aluto's side.
*aluto seams to ether in a drugged daze or dazed to being over stimulated.*
*Vanessa gets two steps before she gets clobbered by Sheryl*
S:"good, we got here before they could get started."*noting all three were still fully clothed*"Ranka, do you think it would be a waste to just let him out, the hags got him in his place where he can't run away like he usually does."

Scary thing is, the Director/Writer of M:F would say that is most likely canonical too.
Really not sure if one should pity the Hime or envy him... in this situation, I'm hard pressed to say yay or nay to either

[taalismn]

(Meanwhile, Basra Nekki's sitting out in the woods in the dark, strumming his guitar, looking put-upon...)
"What?....nobody loves me? Nobody wants to tie ME to a bed? NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR MY SONG?!"
"NO! NOW SHUT THE HELL UP! WE'RE TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!!!"
(Garbage pail comes sailing out of the dark and pegs the Macross 7 singer in the head....we now see he's in the courtyard green of an apartment complex...)

[drewkitty ~..~]

If Basra plays his instrument in the forest and nobody is there to hear him, does he make a noise?

[taalismn]

"...If Basara Nekki..."

...goes boating and gets crushed by the flukes of a passing whale...does anybody care?

[Alpha 11]

*a hot dark and steamy bedroom, The door opens, light pouring onto Vanessa and Kim with a 'restrained' Aluto, the light stream in around a lithe female from*
"What are you two hags doing with my Dorei?"
*from the side of the female*"Sheryl, He's mine too."
*as Sheryl gets shoved aside by a shorter green haired girl, that rushes in to clock Kim, then rushes the rest of the way to aluto's side.
*aluto seams to ether in a drugged daze or dazed to being over stimulated.*
*Vanessa gets two steps before she gets clobbered by Sheryl*
S:"good, we got here before they could get started."*noting all three were still fully clothed*"Ranka, do you think it would be a waste to just let him out, the hags got him in his place where he can't run away like he usually does."

(Meanwhile, Basra Nekki's sitting out in the woods in the dark, strumming his guitar, looking put-upon...)
"What?....nobody loves me? Nobody wants to tie ME to a bed? NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR MY SONG?!"
"NO! NOW SHUT THE HELL UP! WE'RE TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!!!"
(Garbage pail comes sailing out of the dark and pegs the Macross 7 singer in the head....we now see he's in the courtyard green of an apartment complex...)

If Basra plays his instrument in the forest and nobody is there to hear him, does he make a noise?

"...If Basara Nekki..."

...goes boating and gets crushed by the flukes of a passing whale...does anybody care?

[taalismn]

TV Spot:
POV Pan over a broad stretch of wasteland...then we see a ground-hugging cloud of dust come into sight in the distance, zigzagging back and fourth, coming closer and closer to teh foreground...
Suddenly...
ZIP!
A Mac II destroid wearing a giant pair of sneakers comes HAULING by and disappears offcamera..
Voice-over: "Air Howards---Yes, they're THAT fast...."

[Alpha 11]

TV Spot:
POV Pan over a broad stretch of wasteland...then we see a ground-hugging cloud of dust come into sight in the distance, zigzagging back and fourth, coming closer and closer to teh foreground...
Suddenly...
ZIP!
A Mac II destroid wearing a giant pair of sneakers comes HAULING by and disappears offcamera..
Voice-over: "Air Howards---Yes, they're THAT fast...."

[taalismn]

Time Loop: Nerima
“Greetings, I am Mister Breetai Tul, your new Physical Education Instructor. Yes, I will be your new Athletics Coach. Yes, I will oversee all sports clubs. Yes, I am the husband of Kazianna Hesh-Tul, the school driving instructor.”
Several dozen teenage male libidos wilted at that last bit of information. The pretty members of the opposite sex always seemed to be engaged to insanely powerful martial artists, WERE insanely martial artists, or, it turned out, were married to insanely huge mountainoids who didn’t need martial arts to crush unwelcome fans like insects.
"This year I will be molding you freshmen into survival machines, able to handle the brutality of the Real World...We will focus on field hockey, rugby, obstacle course, biathalon, and, in the winter, ice hockey and arctic survival...Yes, Mister Diasuke?"
"Sir...isn't biatholon...shooting and skiing? Guns are rather illegal in Japan?"
"Good question! So I point out that the principal here was able to secure explosives and sharks for the school grounds. What makes you think I can't get automatic weapons?"
There were no retorts to that..The man looked like he could get ARTILLERY onto the school grounds and nobody would complain...
"Continuing on! Upperclassmen will get a dose of reality in the form of the advanced courses...We will start with Command Sambo and Wookie martial arts. Seniors will also be expected to pass the survival course, set up by the JSDF...Failure is not an option. These classes will be co-ed....Anybody caught acting inappropriately will be brutally punished on the spot, and required to attend my SPECIAL remedial classes after school..."
The students had SEEN the barbed wire and electrical fencing being trucked in...as well as the giant truebuchet being set up....
“Any questions?”
“Sir....that ambulance and the backboard over by the athletic field...That’s just in case, right? Just a practice drill?”
“No...by the time class is finished, some of you WILL be needing medical attention.”
Underclassman Goskungi(and several other students) decided to jump the gun upon hearing that last declaration and passed clean out....

[Alpha 11]

Time Loop: Nerima
“Greetings, I am Mister Breetai Tul, your new Physical Education Instructor. Yes, I will be your new Athletics Coach. Yes, I will oversee all sports clubs. Yes, I am the husband of Kazianna Hesh-Tul, the school driving instructor.”
Several dozen teenage male libidos wilted at that last bit of information. The pretty members of the opposite sex always seemed to be engaged to insanely powerful martial artists, WERE insanely martial artists, or, it turned out, were married to insanely huge mountainoids who didn’t need martial arts to crush unwelcome fans like insects.
"This year I will be molding you freshmen into survival machines, able to handle the brutality of the Real World...We will focus on field hockey, rugby, obstacle course, biathalon, and, in the winter, ice hockey and arctic survival...Yes, Mister Diasuke?"
"Sir...isn't biatholon...shooting and skiing? Guns are rather illegal in Japan?"
"Good question! So I point out that the principal here was able to secure explosives and sharks for the school grounds. What makes you think I can't get automatic weapons?"
There were no retorts to that..The man looked like he could get ARTILLERY onto the school grounds and nobody would complain...
"Continuing on! Upperclassmen will get a dose of reality in the form of the advanced courses...We will start with Command Sambo and Wookie martial arts. Seniors will also be expected to pass the survival course, set up by the JSDF...Failure is not an option. These classes will be co-ed....Anybody caught acting inappropriately will be brutally punished on the spot, and required to attend my SPECIAL remedial classes after school..."
The students had SEEN the barbed wire and electrical fencing being trucked in...as well as the giant truebuchet being set up....
“Any questions?”
“Sir....that ambulance and the backboard over by the athletic field...That’s just in case, right? Just a practice drill?”
“No...by the time class is finished, some of you WILL be needing medical attention.”
Underclassman Goskungi(and several other students) decided to jump the gun upon hearing that last declaration and passed clean out....

Man that was good!

[taalismn]

Yep...wait 'til the Kendo Club learns that the PhysEd instructor believes in blunt/staff weapons over swords..."Because you CAN beat up two battloid-mode veritechs with a length of pipe, THAT'S WHY!!!"

As for Kazianna Hesh, Driving Instructor?

"Now that wasn't so bad for a demonstration drive, now, was it Miss Katsuragi?
"...EeeeYAAAWWaaaahhhhhmommymommymommmy...."
"You know, Misato, you can damage the upholstery clutching the seat like that..."

[Shawn Merrow]

A driver that scares Misato? There are no words to describe that horror.

She is an amature. The worst anime driver is Yukari from Azumanga Daioh. Her passengers suffer from Posttraumatic stress disorder.

[drewkitty ~..~]

She is an amature. The worst anime driver is Yukari from Azumanga Daioh. Her passengers suffer from Posttraumatic stress disorder.

[taalismn]

Those are BAD drivers...
Kazianna, as a Quadranno, is a COMBAT driver....to her, roads are an exercise in strategy and tactics...you'll appreciate her training if you're ever caught between a tandem rig driven by a half-asleep trucker, and an oncoming SUV with a cellphone-enraptured teen at the wheel, with a narrowing road, a cliff off one side, road construction on the other, and a flaming news 'copter plummeting in from above...

[Alpha 11]

Yep...wait 'til the Kendo Club learns that the PhysEd instructor believes in blunt/staff weapons over swords..."Because you CAN beat up two battloid-mode veritechs with a length of pipe, THAT'S WHY!!!"

As for Kazianna Hesh, Driving Instructor?

"Now that wasn't so bad for a demonstration drive, now, was it Miss Katsuragi?
"...EeeeYAAAWWaaaahhhhhmommymommymommmy...."
"You know, Misato, you can damage the upholstery clutching the seat like that..."

A driver that scares Misato? There are no words to describe that horror.

She is an amature. The worst anime driver is Yukari from Azumanga Daioh. Her passengers suffer from Posttraumatic stress disorder.

Yep, scarry!

Those are BAD drivers...
Kazianna, as a Quadranno, is a COMBAT driver....to her, roads are an exercise in strategy and tactics...you'll appreciate her training if you're ever caught between a tandem rig driven by a half-asleep trucker, and an oncoming SUV with a cellphone-enraptured teen at the wheel, with a narrowing road, a cliff off one side, road construction on the other, and a flaming news 'copter plummeting in from above...

That's... bad...

Those are BAD drivers...
Kazianna, as a Quadranno, is a COMBAT driver....to her, roads are an exercise in strategy and tactics...you'll appreciate her training if you're ever caught between a tandem rig driven by a half-asleep trucker, and an oncoming SUV with a cellphone-enraptured teen at the wheel, with a narrowing road, a cliff off one side, road construction on the other, and a flaming news 'copter plummeting in from above...

Tell me about it. In my case it was even worse because a Kraken was in the ocean at the bottom of the cliff. But her training saved my life! Granted because of it I'm now banned from ever owning a vehicle... even a bicycle

Signed,
Harry Leferts

I would be writting my will. (Last part)

[taalismn]

"The Quadrono Driving Academy---For those times on the road you wished you either had VTOL capability, or triple-barreled pulse lasers at your command."

[Alpha 11]

"The Quadrono Driving Academy---For those times on the road you wished you either had VTOL capability, or triple-barreled pulse lasers at your command."

[taalismn]

Yeah...really the only thing Quadranno driving graduates need fear is heat seeking missiles...and when's the last time you ran into highway cops with those?

[Alpha 11]

Yeah...really the only thing Quadranno driving graduates need fear is heat seeking missiles...and when's the last time you ran into highway cops with those?

[drewkitty ~..~]

Yeah...really the only thing Quadranno driving graduates need fear is heat seeking missiles...and when's the last time you ran into highway cops with those?

You'd be surprised...

Signed,
Harry Leferts

Leona Ozaki has a RPG in her collection of "toys".

[taalismn]

Cape Cod police use artillery.....


(True Story: about twenty years ago, they were firing off what had to be mortars or small caliber cannon on the military range on Cape Cod, when they put a shell on a public road...nobody was hurt, but they sure took another look at their range safety regs!)

[taalismn]

What You're NOT Likely to See On the Hull of a Zentraedi Warship:

"Handicapped Parking Permit"
"Children Onboard"
"My Other Ship's a SuperDimensional Fortress"
"Save the Protoculture: Eat a Master"
"Young, Fast, and Biodegradeable"
"I'm NOT Retreating; I'm Wide-Flanking the Enemy!"
"Tread Gentle on the Earth"

[drewkitty ~..~]

What You're NOT Likely to See On the Hull of a Zentraedi Warship:

"Handicapped Parking Permit"
"Children Onboard"
"My Other Ship's a SuperDimensional Fortress"
"Save the Protoculture: Eat a Master"
"Young, Fast, and Biodegradable"
"I'm NOT Retreating; I'm Wide-Flanking the Enemy!"
"Tread Gentle on the Earth"

The blued ones would be nice to have available.

The 'in red' would be on a Invid ship.

[Alpha 11]

What You're NOT Likely to See On the Hull of a Zentraedi Warship:

"Handicapped Parking Permit"
"Children Onboard"
"My Other Ship's a SuperDimensional Fortress"
"Save the Protoculture: Eat a Master"
"Young, Fast, and Biodegradeable"
"I'm NOT Retreating; I'm Wide-Flanking the Enemy!"
"Tread Gentle on the Earth"

[taalismn]

What You're NOT Likely to See On the Hull of a Zentraedi Warship:

"Handicapped Parking Permit"
"Children Onboard"
"My Other Ship's a SuperDimensional Fortress"
"Save the Protoculture: Eat a Master"
"Young, Fast, and Biodegradable"
"I'm NOT Retreating; I'm Wide-Flanking the Enemy!"
"Tread Gentle on the Earth"

The blued ones would be nice to have available.

The 'in red' would be on a Invid ship.

You mean 'in green', don'tcha?
"No, I mean blue...No, greYYYAAARRRGGGGGGhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....."(splash)
"Next question! What is the airspeed of a cardinal carrying a Protoculture Matrix?"

[drewkitty ~..~]

What You're NOT Likely to See On the Hull of a Zentraedi Warship:

"Handicapped Parking Permit"
"Children Onboard"
"My Other Ship's a SuperDimensional Fortress"
"Save the Protoculture: Eat a Master"
"Young, Fast, and Biodegradable"
"I'm NOT Retreating; I'm Wide-Flanking the Enemy!"
"Tread Gentle on the Earth"

The blued ones would be nice to have available.

The 'in red' would be on a Invid ship.

You mean 'in green', don'tcha?
"No, I mean blue...No, greYYYAAARRRGGGGGGhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....."(splash)
"Next question! What is the airspeed of a cardinal carrying a Protoculture Matrix?"

African or European Cardinal?

[Alpha 11]

What You're NOT Likely to See On the Hull of a Zentraedi Warship:

"Handicapped Parking Permit"
"Children Onboard"
"My Other Ship's a SuperDimensional Fortress"
"Save the Protoculture: Eat a Master"
"Young, Fast, and Biodegradable"
"I'm NOT Retreating; I'm Wide-Flanking the Enemy!"
"Tread Gentle on the Earth"

The blued ones would be nice to have available.

The 'in red' would be on a Invid ship.

You mean 'in green', don'tcha?
"No, I mean blue...No, greYYYAAARRRGGGGGGhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....."(splash)
"Next question! What is the airspeed of a cardinal carrying a Protoculture Matrix?"

[keir451]

What You're NOT Likely to See On the Hull of a Zentraedi Warship:

"Handicapped Parking Permit"
"Children Onboard"
"My Other Ship's a SuperDimensional Fortress"
"Save the Protoculture: Eat a Master"
"Young, Fast, and Biodegradable"
"I'm NOT Retreating; I'm Wide-Flanking the Enemy!"
"Tread Gentle on the Earth"

The blued ones would be nice to have available.

The 'in red' would be on a Invid ship.

You mean 'in green', don'tcha?
"No, I mean blue...No, greYYYAAARRRGGGGGGhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....."(splash)
"Next question! What is the airspeed of a cardinal carrying a Protoculture Matrix?"

African or European Cardinal?

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!! I needed a laff off.

[taalismn]

What You're NOT Likely to See On the Hull of a Zentraedi Warship:

"Handicapped Parking Permit"
"Children Onboard"
"My Other Ship's a SuperDimensional Fortress"
"Save the Protoculture: Eat a Master"
"Young, Fast, and Biodegradable"
"I'm NOT Retreating; I'm Wide-Flanking the Enemy!"
"Tread Gentle on the Earth"

The blued ones would be nice to have available.

The 'in red' would be on a Invid ship.

You mean 'in green', don'tcha?
"No, I mean blue...No, greYYYAAARRRGGGGGGhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....."(splash)
"Next question! What is the airspeed of a cardinal carrying a Protoculture Matrix?"

African or European Cardinal?

Tirolian or Terran Matrix?

[taalismn]

Scene: Robotech Masters' Mothership...Karno's Bioroid ambush squad is being potshot off their positions by Dana Sterling's tank, in defense of Zor Prime...
As the last Bioroid takes a header off the balcony, a clone guard crawls out of the wreckage and faces the two intruders.
"Excellent shooting! Select your prize!"(gestures to an open closet filled with large stuffed animals to one side)
Dana: "Ohhh!!! I'll take the big red bunny rabbit!"

[Alpha 11]

Scene: Robotech Masters' Mothership...Karno's Bioroid ambush squad is being potshot off their positions by Dana Sterling's tank, in defense of Zor Prime...
As the last Bioroid takes a header off the balcony, a clone guard crawls out of the wreckage and faces the two intruders.
"Excellent shooting! Select your prize!"(gestures to an open closet filled with large stuffed animals to one side)
Dana: "Ohhh!!! I'll take the big red bunny rabbit!"

[taalismn]

Scene: The 15th ATAC's hangar, during the 'Pupil Pistol' confrontation:
Dana: "Louie, give me that torch! I'll destroy them myself!"
Smarmy Tech: "Now just waitamiin---"
Dana: "Stand aside, or I'll---"
FWWWHOOOMMMBBBB!
KA-CHOW!
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!"
(sound of somebody running VERY fast out of the hangar bay....)
-----
(blink, blink)
Dana: "....okay...anybody ELSE here using an alcohol-based aftershave?"

[Alpha 11]

Scene: The 15th ATAC's hangar, during the 'Pupil Pistol' confrontation:
Dana: "Louie, give me that torch! I'll destroy them myself!"
Smarmy Tech: "Now just waitamiin---"
Dana: "Stand aside, or I'll---"
FWWWHOOOMMMBBBB!
KA-CHOW!
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!"
(sound of somebody running VERY fast out of the hangar bay....)
-----
(blink, blink)
Dana: "....okay...anybody ELSE here using an alcohol-based aftershave?"