Robotech Blooper Reels

[taalismn]

421: I will not strap two Micronian trucks to my feet and go rollerblading
422: I will not use my destroid's particle beam cannon to light the squad's campfire
422a: Nor will I use cobalt grenades
423: Fumigating the barracks with my destroid's flamethrowers is also a no-no
424: Using my mecha's thermal imaging and radar sensors to look 'under' the clothes of women without the orders of a superior officer
424a: My hand in a sock with officers' stars and bars sewn on it does NOT count as the permission of a superior officer
425: I will not loan my child my Gallant H-90 to chase away the boogieman
425a: (Instead, I will set up multiple traps along likely lines of approach, rig multi-media sensors and silent alarms, and hide out near my child's bed on stakeout, in ambush position, and deal with the little bastard personally)

[Alpha 11]

421: I will not strap two Micronian trucks to my feet and go rollerblading
422: I will not use my destroid's particle beam cannon to light the squad's campfire
422a: Nor will I use cobalt grenades
423: Fumigating the barracks with my destroid's flamethrowers is also a no-no
424: Using my mecha's thermal imaging and radar sensors to look 'under' the clothes of women without the orders of a superior officer
424a: My hand in a sock with officers' stars and bars sewn on it does NOT count as the permission of a superior officer
425: I will not loan my child my Gallant H-90 to chase away the boogieman
425a: (Instead, I will set up multiple traps along likely lines of approach, rig multi-media sensors and silent alarms, and hide out near my child's bed on stakeout, in ambush position, and deal with the little bastard personally)

[taalismn]

426: I am not allowed to rent Gozilla suits out to full-sized Zentraedi for a night on thetown
426a: ESPECIALLY not in the Far East sector
427: 'Xena: Warrior Princess" is not proper educational video for Meltraedi attempting to assimilate into human society
428: I am not allowed to request a SynchroCannon as my personal sidearm
428a: "I don't care if the original art of Scott Bernard DOES show him with a 'destabilizer sidearm that works on Imvid'! Bernard's and Ariel's little bedroom games are strictly their own business!"
429:(Imvid) I will not follow the seemingly unarmed humans into the forest. I will burn the forest down, THEN I will follow them. If my kind can set ambushes, why can't humans?
430: I will assume proper firing stance with whatever weapon I am using. I will not hold it sideways, 'gangsta' style.

[Alpha 11]

426: I am not allowed to rent Gozilla suits out to full-sized Zentraedi for a night on thetown
426a: ESPECIALLY not in the Far East sector
427: 'Xena: Warrior Princess" is not proper educational video for Meltraedi attempting to assimilate into human society
428: I am not allowed to request a SynchroCannon as my personal sidearm
428a: "I don't care if the original art of Scott Bernard DOES show him with a 'destabilizer sidearm that works on Imvid'! Bernard's and Ariel's little bedroom games are strictly their own business!"
429:(Imvid) I will not follow the seemingly unarmed humans into the forest. I will burn the forest down, THEN I will follow them. If my kind can set ambushes, why can't humans?
430: I will assume proper firing stance with whatever weapon I am using. I will not hold it sideways, 'gangsta' style.

[taalismn]

431: I will not bring my battlecruiser in close enough to the renegade battlefortress to be rammed or punched by my target
432: I will not pass Khyron the Backstabber or jump his orders ahead of time.
433: I will not misplace the ignition key to the SDF
434: I will not discount the possibility of Zentraedi ninja
435: (Robotech Master) I will learn how to tell members of Triumvirates apart and not simply address them as a group or refer to them as 'Hey you!'

[Alpha 11]

431: I will not bring my battlecruiser in close enough to the renegade battlefortress to be rammed or punched by my target
432: I will not pass Khyron the Backstabber or jump his orders ahead of time.
433: I will not misplace the ignition key to the SDF
434: I will not discount the possibility of Zentraedi ninja
435: (Robotech Master) I will learn how to tell members of Triumvirates apart and not simply address them as a group or refer to them as 'Hey you!'

[taalismn]

436: I don't care if it IS a critical strike; wedgies are NOT armor-piercing
437: I will not demand a character shield from the GM
437a: Nor will I hide behind an NPC with a character shield; GMs are mean shots
438: Just because another character put me in his will, doesn't mean I get to shoot him
439: (Zentraedi ) Putting micronian prisoners in the hamper with the dirty laundry, in order to 'soften them up' for interrogation, is NOT permitted.
439a: Nor is hosing down their cell with a firehose; we previously accidentally flushed several prisoners away that way.
440: I will not teach Zentraedi about the Easter BUnny planting eggs...look what they did with Santa Claus

[Alpha 11]

436: I don't care if it IS a critical strike; wedgies are NOT armor-piercing
437: I will not demand a character shield from the GM
437a: Nor will I hide behind an NPC with a character shield; GMs are mean shots
438: Just because another character put me in his will, doesn't mean I get to shoot him
439: (Zentraedi ) Putting micronian prisoners in the hamper with the dirty laundry, in order to 'soften them up' for interrogation, is NOT permitted.
439a: Nor is hosing down their cell with a firehose; we previously accidentally flushed several prisoners away that way.
440: I will not teach Zentraedi about the Easter BUnny planting eggs...look what they did with Santa Claus

[taalismn]

441: (Zentraedi) The micronian inflatable liferaft down the leg of my pants was in poor taste; I won't do it again
442: (Invid) I will not paint over the optical lense of my higher caste superior while he's in downtime
443: (Haydonite) My office affair with the coffee machine stops now
444:(Praxian) I am no longer allowed to duel male Terrans for their parking space
445: (Perytonian) I will no longer Call Lightning on anybody who ####es me off, and blame it on an 'act of God'.

[drewkitty ~..~]

446 I am no longer to use our karbonien allies are snuggle buddies even though they look like giant teddy bears.

[taalismn]

447: (Karbarrean) I am not to use our Human allies as scratching posts, no matter how violently I disagree with them.
448: (Spherian) I will not hide inside the crystalline structure of my marble desk to avoid doing paperwork around the office
449: (Garudan) When reporting to my allies I will word any information from any prescient visions I get accessing the hin as precisely and descriptively as possible, and resist making enigmatic, cryptic, or ambiguous remarks if at all possible.
449a: Under no circumstances will I use the phrase 'It's a secret...."
450:(Tirollian) I will not make remarks in the presence of my Human or Sentinel allies like "In the good old days of the Empire, this wouldn't have happened..."
451: (Zentraedi) We'll quit playing badmitten with the Urbanmech and return it to its universe of origin before the copyright lawyers catch on.
452: I will not take my internet flamewar to the streets and use my destroid on the spammer, no matter how much he annoys me
453: Proper etiquette when addressing a meeting of the Joint Chiefs as presided over by Field Marshal Leonard means not starting my report with "Cut to the chase already, lardass, which one of us are you planning on sacrificing in some suicidal attack?"
454: Plaid is not proper mecha camouflage, even if I am Scottish.
455: I will quit asking for a pipe organ to be installed in the cockpit of my MAC

[Alpha 11]

441: (Zentraedi) The micronian inflatable liferaft down the leg of my pants was in poor taste; I won't do it again
442: (Invid) I will not paint over the optical lense of my higher caste superior while he's in downtime
443: (Haydonite) My office affair with the coffee machine stops now
444:(Praxian) I am no longer allowed to duel male Terrans for their parking space
445: (Perytonian) I will no longer Call Lightning on anybody who ####es me off, and blame it on an 'act of God'.

446 I am no longer to use our karbonien allies are snuggle buddies even though they look like giant teddy bears.

447: (Karbarrean) I am not to use our Human allies as scratching posts, no matter how violently I disagree with them.
448: (Spherian) I will not hide inside the crystalline structure of my marble desk to avoid doing paperwork around the office
449: (Garudan) When reporting to my allies I will word any information from any prescient visions I get accessing the hin as precisely and descriptively as possible, and resist making enigmatic, cryptic, or ambiguous remarks if at all possible.
449a: Under no circumstances will I use the phrase 'It's a secret...."
450:(Tirollian) I will not make remarks in the presence of my Human or Sentinel allies like "In the good old days of the Empire, this wouldn't have happened..."
451: (Zentraedi) We'll quit playing badmitten with the Urbanmech and return it to its universe of origin before the copyright lawyers catch on.
452: I will not take my internet flamewar to the streets and use my destroid on the spammer, no matter how much he annoys me
453: Proper etiquette when addressing a meeting of the Joint Chiefs as presided over by Field Marshal Leonard means not starting my report with "Cut to the chase already, lardass, which one of us are you planning on sacrificing in some suicidal attack?"
454: Plaid is not proper mecha camouflage, even if I am Scottish.
455: I will quit asking for a pipe organ to be installed in the cockpit of my MAC

[taalismn]

More Things You Don't Want to Hear From the Bridge:

"We don't want to cause a panic."
"The humans will NEVER suspect us!"
"I have no idea what I'm doing here!"
"What scapegoat do you have in mind?"
"Ah, oh, (call number of listener), ...are you talking to US?"
"Oh, please put on some clothes!"

[Alpha 11]

More Things You Don't Want to Hear From the Bridge:

"We don't want to cause a panic."
"The humans will NEVER suspect us!"
"I have no idea what I'm doing here!"
"What scapegoat do you have in mind?"
"Ah, oh, (call number of listener), ...are you talking to US?"
"Oh, please put on some clothes!"

[taalismn]

456: The TASC practice of hazing cadets by duct-taping them to live missiles stops IMMEDIATELY
457: Bringing up the topic of that plastic figurine model with the naked chest around Nova Satori is NOT permitted
458: Using lower-caste Invid as pets is NOT allowed; turn the POWS over to MilIntel NOW!
459: I will not playfully 'paint' my friends with a target illumination radar, especially not when there is live ordnance in the air
460: Putting the spider inside my colleague's CVR-3 armor as a prank was NOT a good idea

[Alpha 11]

456: The TASC practice of hazing cadets by duct-taping them to live missiles stops IMMEDIATELY
457: Bringing up the topic of that plastic figurine model with the naked chest around Nova Satori is NOT permitted
458: Using lower-caste Invid as pets is NOT allowed; turn the POWS over to MilIntel NOW!
459: I will not playfully 'paint' my friends with a target illumination radar, especially not when there is live ordnance in the air
460: Putting the spider inside my colleague's CVR-3 armor as a prank was NOT a good idea

[taalismn]

459: I will not playfully 'paint' my friends with a target illumination radar, especially not when there is live ordnance in the air

459a: That goes DOUBLE for target illumination lasers

461: I will NOT refer to Karbarrean medics as 'Care Bears'
462: I will not make jokes about Zentraedi engineers and LEGOs....now, will you please let me out of this plastic brick enclosure?
463:White water kayaking in Zentraedi ship plumbing systems is henceforth FORBIDDEN
463a: Unless I'm planning on PERMANENTLY joining the UEsG BioSanitation Squad
464: Playing the following sports on the ship's hull, in space, in microgravity, is FORBIDDEN: Frisbee, football, soccer, volleyball. WE're just losing too many balls, and too many cadets with each game.
465: Kamina-style sunglasses do NOT automatically make the wearer a) badass, or b) invincible. I shall quit spreading this myth.

[Alpha 11]

459: I will not playfully 'paint' my friends with a target illumination radar, especially not when there is live ordnance in the air

459a: That goes DOUBLE for target illumination lasers

461: I will NOT refer to Karbarrean medics as 'Care Bears'
462: I will not make jokes about Zentraedi engineers and LEGOs....now, will you please let me out of this plastic brick enclosure?
463:White water kayaking in Zentraedi ship plumbing systems is henceforth FORBIDDEN
463a: Unless I'm planning on PERMANENTLY joining the UEsG BioSanitation Squad
464: Playing the following sports on the ship's hull, in space, in microgravity, is FORBIDDEN: Frisbee, football, soccer, volleyball. WE're just losing too many balls, and too many cadets with each game.
465: Kamina-style sunglasses do NOT automatically make the wearer a) badass, or b) invincible. I shall quit spreading this myth.

[taalismn]

466: Painting my mecha black and putting it in a giant ninja suit does NOT make it a stealth mecha
466a: Nor does painting it red make me the Red Baron
467: I will not suddenly question the value of giant robots as opposed to conventional vehicles, in the middle of combat
468: I will NOT attempt to use my veritech's thrusters to 'jet-fry' a turkey for the squadron picnic
469: The Garfield doll with the suction cups comes OFF the inside of my mecha's canopy
470: I am no longer allowed to drink Petitcola(or ANY carbonated drink) before taking off in my veritech.

[Alpha 11]

466: Painting my mecha black and putting it in a giant ninja suit does NOT make it a stealth mecha
466a: Nor does painting it red make me the Red baron
467: I will not suddenly question the value if giant robots as opposed to conventional vehicles, in the middle of combat
468: I will NOT attempt to use my veritech's thrusters to 'jet-fry' a turkey for the squadron picnic
469: The Garfield doll with the suction cups comes OFF the inside of my mecha's canopy
470: I am no longer allowed to drink Petitcola(or ANY carbonated drink) before taking off in my veritech.

[taalismn]

471: The missile motor-powered skateboard gets retired NOW.
472: The Sea Squad are NOT amused by the giant rubber squid. They said something about keelhauling
473: I will not give targeting coordinates while chewing granola.
474: Dressing up the Lieutenant's pet Pollinator as a tribble was amusing, but not terribly funny; we now have reports of a dissed-off tribble chasing and biting people.
474a: Guess what your next assignment is?
475: In retrospect, saying to Lieutenant Sterling; 'Whatcha goin' do about it, Blondie? Call Dagwood?" was a mistake.

[DhAkael]

475: In retrospect, saying to Lieutenant Sterling; 'Whatcha goin' do about it, Blondie? Call Dagwood?" was a mistake.

Annoying the daughter of the greatest human pilot born to date who is ALSO Daughter to the greatest LIVING ace of the maltreadi...
Hooooo man you done gone (f-bomb) big time boy!

[taalismn]

Marcus Rush: "In retrospect making a pass at Maia Sterling while she was in the shower wearing only a thin sheet of water was a really really BAD idea, I mean a really REALLY bad idea, showing a horrible absence of judgement, for which I am truly sorry, contrite, eternally shamed, willing to live my life in contrition making it up to---"

Miriya Sterling: "What I ASKED was 'Do you want a blindfold and a last cigarette?', not 'Do you have any last words?'!"

[Alpha 11]

471: The missile motor-powered skateboard gets retired NOW.
472: The Sea Squad are NOT amused by the giant rubber squid. They said something about keelhauling
473: I will not give targeting coordinates while chewing granola.
474: Dressing up the Lieutenant's pet Pollinator as a tribble was amusing, but not terribly funny; we now have reports of a dissed-off tribble chasing and biting people.
474a: Guess what your next assignment is?
475: In retrospect, saying to Lieutenant Sterling; 'Whatcha goin' do about it, Blondie? Call Dagwood?" was a mistake.

Marcus Rush: "In retrospect making a pass at Maia Sterling while she was in the shower wearing only a thin sheet of water was a really really BAD idea, I mean a really REALLY bad idea, showing a horrible absence of judgement, for which I am truly sorry, contrite, eternally shamed, willing to live my life in contrition making it up to---"

Miriya Sterling: "What I ASKED was 'Do you want a blindfold and a last cigarette?', not 'Do you have any last words?'!"

[taalismn]

Marcus:"_and it was furthermore totally incompetent of me, a trained scout, to NOT see that the person I was addressing in the shower in fact had GREEN hair, and was in fact Maia Sterling's MOTHER, to whom I apologize profusely for any and all embara-"
Max Sterling: " try 'inexcusable'. Color-blindness ain't going to save you, boy, there's only one person in the firing squad and I ain't loading blanks in my gun!"

[drewkitty ~..~]

The next day...
Maia addressing the rest of skull squadron: "After disappearing three days ago Lt. Rush is officially AWOL as of 8 am this morning. You are all authorized to taze, wing or otherwise incapacitate him to bring him in."

[taalismn]

The next day...
Maia addressing the rest of skull squadron: "After disappearing three days ago Lt. Rush is officially AWOL as of 8 am this morning. You are all authorized to taze, wing or otherwise incapacitate him to bring him in."

Try 'MIA'....Miriya duct-taped him to the wall pretty well, and Max doesn't miss....

[drewkitty ~..~]

The next day...
Maia addressing the rest of skull squadron: "After disappearing three days ago Lt. Rush is officially AWOL as of 8 am this morning. You are all authorized to taze, wing or otherwise incapacitate him to bring him in."

Try 'MIA'....Miriya duct-taped him to the wall pretty well, and Max doesn't miss....

If he never left the ship it would just be AWOL, and since he came back from the last mission it would not be MIA.

[Alpha 11]

Marcus:"_and it was furthermore totally incompetent of me, a trained scout, to NOT see that the person I was addressing in the shower in fact had GREEN hair, and was in fact Maia Sterling's MOTHER, to whom I apologize profusely for any and all embara-"
Max Sterling: " try 'inexcusable'. Color-blindness ain't going to save you, boy, there's only one person in the firing squad and I ain't loading blanks in my gun!"

The next day...
Maia addressing the rest of skull squadron: "After disappearing three days ago Lt. Rush is officially AWOL as of 8 am this morning. You are all authorized to taze, wing or otherwise incapacitate him to bring him in."

[taalismn]

Marcus: "It was sure nice of you to spring me from those psychos, Admiral!"
Rick Hunter: "Not really...You realize my wife was also in that shower?"
Marcus: "...I'm going to ENVY Alex, aren't I?..."

[Alpha 11]

Marcus: "It was sure nice of you to spring me from those psychos, Admiral!"
Rick Hunter: "Not really...You realize my wife was also in that shower?"
Marcus: "...I'm going to ENVY Alex, aren't I?..."

[taalismn]

476: The Schwartz is NOT strong in this one; I shall refrain from quoting Mel Brooks while on duty ever again.
477: When infiltrating the Robotech Masters' Mothership, I shall NOT ask for directions to the Red Light District
477a: Nor shall I attempt to pass as a resident/employee of it.
478: Likewise, when infiltrating the RMMothership, I shall NOT quaff anything given to me; I shall pour it out into somebody else's glass when they aren't looking, or onto the floor
478a: I will not demand a rum and coke
479: Rigging a grenade to my roommate's alarm clock may be technically neat, and theoretically quite funny, but I am not to do it anyway.
480: Development of rail gun/massdriver toasters is NOT a proper use of Robotech Research Group R&D grant.

[Alpha 11]

476: The Schwartz is NOT strong in this one; I shall refrain from quoting Mel Brooks while on duty ever again.
477: When infiltrating the Robotech Masters' Mothership, I shall NOT ask for directions to the Red Light District
477a: Nor shall I attempt to pass as a resident/employee of it.
478: Likewise, when infiltrating the RMMothership, I shall NOT quaff anything given to me; I shall pour it out into somebody else's glass when they aren't looking, or onto the floor
478a: I will not demand a rum and coke
479: Rigging a grenade to my roommate's alarm clock may be technically neat, and theoretically quite funny, but I am not to do it anyway.
480: Development of rail gun/massdriver toasters is NOT a proper use of Robotech Research Group R&D grant.

[taalismn]

481: I am not to make heavy breathing noises around Commander Daryl Taylor
482: I am not to refer to Commander Sterling's breasts as 'rockets', 'a full warload', 'bunker busters', or 'the big guns'
483: I am not to use napalm at the training camp's live fire obstacle course
484: Using the SDF-1's electronic warfare suite to track down internet trolls and give them a literal flaming is NOT permitted
485: Forced laughter is not real laughter; I am not permitted to take my Cyclone and full war loadout to the comedy club for my stand-up act.

[Alpha 11]

481: I am not to make heavy breathing noises around Commander Daryl Taylor
482: I am not to refer to Commander Sterling's breasts as 'rockets', 'a full warload', 'bunker busters', or 'the big guns'
483: I am not to use napalm at the training camp's live fire obstacle course
484: Using the SDF-1's electronic warfare suite to track down internet trolls and give them a literal flaming is NOT permitted
485: Forced laughter is not real laughter; I am not permitted to take my Cyclone and full war loadout to the comedy club for my stand-up act.

[taalismn]

486: NO , we will NOT be using the deck catapult for 'mechanical bull riding' during Open Deck Activity Day. Throw that sign advertising away.
487: There is no transforming 'combat bikini' in the works. That's confusion with the Waltrip Brothers's OTHER works and has NOTHING to do with Robotechnology(that's RoBOtechnology, not RoBRAtechnology)
488: Trying to sell the Robotech Masters on prune juice as a viable substitute for their Flower-of-Life derived longevity drugs was NOT a good idea.
489: I am not to go bungee jumping with Breetai's suspenders.
490: I will not drive through the halls of the SDF-1 with my high beams on(have they managed to get Commander Fokker's jeep unwrapped from around that stanchion yet?).

[Alpha 11]

486: NO , we will NOT be using the deck catapult for 'mechanical bull riding' during Open Deck Activity Day. Throw that sign advertising away.
487: There is no transforming 'combat bikini' in the works. That's confusion with the Waltrip Brothers's OTHER works and has NOTHING to do with Robotechnology(that's RoBOtechnology, not RoBRAtechnology)
488: Trying to sell the Robotech Masters on prune juice as a viable substitute for their Flower-of-Life derived longevity drugs was NOT a good idea.
489: I am not to go bungee jumping with Breetai's suspenders.
490: I will not drive through the halls of the SDF-1 with my high beams on(have they managed to get Commander Fokker's jeep unwrapped from around that stanchion yet?).

Welcome back!

[taalismn]

491: Trying to convince the Tirolians that they're all living in 'The Matrix' was a failure from the get-go
492: Bus-hurdling with mecha will never be an Olympic sport
492a: Nor will bus-tossing
492b: In fact anything associated with buses and mecha is a bad idea
492c: No, I am NOT acting out an adolescent fantasy about schoolbuses, damnit, now clear me for duty, ya shrink!
493: Okay, putting Zor Prime in a full body cast while he was asleep might have been a better idea if we remembered to wire his jaw as well
494: "Pin the Tail on the Pollinator' was not one of my better drunken gaming ideas.
494a: Nor was attempting to shave it bald...
495: When I say 'Jesus Nuts', I am refering to the handful of vital fasteners/parts that keep variable mecha from falling apart when in operation, not to the SDF-1's onboard religious community. I will clarify in the future in view of the many thre---er, outraged sensibilities expressed to the staff of the ship...

[Alpha 11]

491: Trying to convince the Tirolians that they're all living in 'The Matrix' was a failure from the get-go
492: Bus-hurdling with mecha will never be an Olympic sport
492a: Nor will bus-tossing
492b: In fact anything associated with buses and mecha is a bad idea
492c: No, I am NOT acting out an adolescent fantasy about schoolbuses, damnit, now clear me for duty, ya shrink!
493: Okay, putting Zor Prime in a full body cast while he was asleep might have been a better idea if we remembered to wire his jaw as well
494: "Pin the Tail on the Pollinator' was not one of my better drunken gaming ideas.
494a: Nor was attempting to shave it bald...
495: When I say 'Jesus Nuts', I am refering to the handful of vital fasteners/parts that keep variable mecha from falling apart when in operation, not to the SDF-1's onboard religious community. I will clarify in the future in view of the many thre---er, outraged sensibilities expressed to the staff of the ship...

[taalismn]

496: I will not bother the Praxians about doing that deflecting bullets with the arm bracelets thing, or whether they'd like to lasso me with the 'lariat of truth'.
497: I will not double park my superdimensional battle fortress while I run in to get a cup of coffee
498: I will leave the toilet seat in the correct position before escaping from the Zentraedi restroom
499: I will not send Richard Simons to do an 'exercise intervention' with Field Marshal Leonard
500: If I absolutely MUST have a skunk for a squadron mascot, I will make absolutely certain it is deodorized before bringing it aboard ship.

[drewkitty ~..~]

499: I will not send Richard Simons to do an 'exercise intervention' with Field Marshal Leonard

ROTFLMAF

[Alpha 11]

496: I will not bother the Praxians about doing that deflecting bullets with the arm bracelets thing, or whether they'd like to lasso me with the 'lariat of truth'.
497: I will not double park my superdimensional battle fortress while I run in to get a cup of coffee
498: I will leave the toilet seat in the correct position before escaping from the Zentraedi restroom
499: I will not send Richard Simons to do an 'exercise intervention' with Field Marshal Leonard
500: If I absolutely MUST have a skunk for a squadron mascot, I will make absolutely certain it is deodorized before bringing it aboard ship.

[taalismn]

499: I will not send Richard Simons to do an 'exercise intervention' with Field Marshal Leonard

ROTFLMAF

"It's that ugly scrawny little man in the shorts and sleeveless tee demanding to see you, sir."
(checks the action on his assault rifle, then settles himself in behind his desk) "Clear the hall and let him in, as soon as you arm the claymores...I am NOT 'jazzercizing to the oldies' EVER! Likewise, if Jane Fonda shows up to preach peace and well-being to me, she's getting a mouthful of lead!"

[drewkitty ~..~]

499: I will not send Richard Simons to do an 'exercise intervention' with Field Marshal Leonard

ROTFLMAF

"It's that ugly scrawny little man in the shorts and sleeveless tee demanding to see you, sir."
(checks the action on his assault rifle, then settles himself in behind his desk) "Clear the hall and let him in, as soon as you arm the claymores...I am NOT 'jazzercizing to the oldies' EVER! Likewise, if Jane Fonda shows up to preach peace and well-being to me, she's getting a mouthful of lead!"

*chuckles*

The 499 item linked up in my head with the exercise spell in the invented spell topic.

Richard Simmons
A apparition of a short thin man in neon work out shorts and a tank top appears near the mage and energetically talking to get the mage, and anyone near him to get up and work out. The apparition will keep going till the people in Line of sight of the apparition have done at least 30 min of exercising.

[taalismn]

Gonna have to come up with a counter to that spell, like Rain of Cheetos, Summon Tacos, or Mystic Burger.

[drewkitty ~..~]

Gonna have to come up with a counter to that spell, like Rain of Cheetos, Summon Tacos, or Mystic Burger.

LOL

[taalismn]

Toss
*BLAM*
"Hey, Kolwaski, how'd you blow up those Bioroids?! I thought we were all out of grenades and explosives?!"
"Wasn't a grenade. T'was an MRE."
"You threw a FOOD PACK at them and it went off like that?! THat had to be a sub-kiloton tactical nuclear explosion!!! What the hell was in that beg, really?!"
"Tis truth. I had a can of Spam. No way was I going to eat that thing after I saw the date stamped on it."
"And that was...?!"
"1941."
"Oh..."O_0

[drewkitty ~..~]

Toss
*BLAM*
"Hey, Kolwaski, how'd you blow up those Bioroids?! I thought we were all out of grenades and explosives?!"
"Wasn't a grenade. T'was an MRE."
"You threw a FOOD PACK at them and it went off like that?! THat had to be a sub-kiloton tactical nuclear explosion!!! What the hell was in that beg, really?!"
"Tis truth. I had a can of Spam. No way was I going to eat that thing after I saw the date stamped on it."
"And that was...?!"
"1941."
"Oh..."O_0

LOLOLOLOLLOOLOL

*Five guys walk in dressed as vikings, english,and a cross dresser singing*
"SPAM!SPAM!SPAM!SPAM!SPAM!SPAM!SPAM!SPAM!SPAM!SPAM!SPAM!SPAM!SPAM!SPAM!SPAM!SPAM!SPAM!...."

[taalismn]

Return of an old gag....

"Say, Ryan, what was all that commotion earlier?"
"That? Oh, I can''t tell you..."
"Oh, come on! What's up?"
"Oh...Damnitm, Dean, look, you didn't hear this from me, but we thought that rabid Pollinator had been seen crawling around Stage Seven."
"The rabid-. You mean you guys STILL haven't found it yet? It's been like, what, seven months?!"
"More like a year. I dunno, maybe rabies behaves differently in mutts like that...."
"Well, did you catch it?"
"Hey, keep it down! Okay, it was a false alarm! Couldn't find a trace of it! Anyways, what have you been up to?"
"Oh, just refilming the Bioroid combat scenes. Got the full rigs, military surplus, everything..."
*GGGERRAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!"
"AYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"That sounded like..."
"A rabid Pollinator savaging somebody inside the confines of a Bioroid cockpit!"
***CCRRAASSHHH!!!***
"GAAHHHHH!!!!"
*SMASHHHH!!!"
"BERSERK MECHA! BERSERK MECHA!!!"
*RARARARARARARAHHRAGARAG!!!!!!!!*
"GETITOFFGETOFFGETITOFFMMMMEEEEEEEE!!!!"
"LOOK OUT!!!"
"HE' S HEADING RIGHT FOR THE MOTORPOOL!!!!"
#CRUNCH#
"...my carrrrr....."
"Sorry, Dean, gotta go....You see my net anywhere around here?"

[Alpha 11]

499: I will not send Richard Simons to do an 'exercise intervention' with Field Marshal Leonard

ROTFLMAF

"It's that ugly scrawny little man in the shorts and sleeveless tee demanding to see you, sir."
(checks the action on his assault rifle, then settles himself in behind his desk) "Clear the hall and let him in, as soon as you arm the claymores...I am NOT 'jazzercizing to the oldies' EVER! Likewise, if Jane Fonda shows up to preach peace and well-being to me, she's getting a mouthful of lead!"

499: I will not send Richard Simons to do an 'exercise intervention' with Field Marshal Leonard

ROTFLMAF

"It's that ugly scrawny little man in the shorts and sleeveless tee demanding to see you, sir."
(checks the action on his assault rifle, then settles himself in behind his desk) "Clear the hall and let him in, as soon as you arm the claymores...I am NOT 'jazzercizing to the oldies' EVER! Likewise, if Jane Fonda shows up to preach peace and well-being to me, she's getting a mouthful of lead!"

*chuckles*

The 499 item linked up in my head with the exercise spell in the invented spell topic.

Richard Simmons
A apparition of a short thin man in neon work out shorts and a tank top appears near the mage and energetically talking to get the mage, and anyone near him to get up and work out. The apparition will keep going till the people in Line of sight of the apparition have done at least 30 min of exercising.

Gonna have to come up with a counter to that spell, like Rain of Cheetos, Summon Tacos, or Mystic Burger.

Toss
*BLAM*
"Hey, Kolwaski, how'd you blow up those Bioroids?! I thought we were all out of grenades and explosives?!"
"Wasn't a grenade. T'was an MRE."
"You threw a FOOD PACK at them and it went off like that?! THat had to be a sub-kiloton tactical nuclear explosion!!! What the hell was in that beg, really?!"
"Tis truth. I had a can of Spam. No way was I going to eat that thing after I saw the date stamped on it."
"And that was...?!"
"1941."
"Oh..."O_0

Stargate, right?

Return of an old gag....

"Say, Ryan, what was all that commotion earlier?"
"That? Oh, I can''t tell you..."
"Oh, come on! What's up?"
"Oh...Damnitm, Dean, look, you didn't hear this from me, but we thought that rabid Pollinator had been seen crawling around Stage Seven."
"The rabid-. You mean you guys STILL haven't found it yet? It's been like, what, seven months?!"
"More like a year. I dunno, maybe rabies behaves differently in mutts like that...."
"Well, did you catch it?"
"Hey, keep it down! Okay, it was a false alarm! Couldn't find a trace of it! Anyways, what have you been up to?"
"Oh, just refilming the Bioroid combat scenes. Got the full rigs, military surplus, everything..."
*GGGERRAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!"
"AYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"That sounded like..."
"A rabid Pollinator savaging somebody inside the confines of a Bioroid cockpit!"
***CCRRAASSHHH!!!***
"GAAHHHHH!!!!"
*SMASHHHH!!!"
"BERSERK MECHA! BERSERK MECHA!!!"
*RARARARARARARAHHRAGARAG!!!!!!!!*
"GETITOFFGETOFFGETITOFFMMMMEEEEEEEE!!!!"
"LOOK OUT!!!"
"HE' S HEADING RIGHT FOR THE MOTORPOOL!!!!"
#CRUNCH#
"...my carrrrr....."
"Sorry, Dean, gotta go....You see my net anywhere around here?"