Robotech Blooper Reels

[batlchip]

696:I will not use Hunters hair gel to cook with.
697:I will not try to duct tape boosters on my gladiator.
698:I will not try to free fall with said modification.
699:I will not use a veritech hover tank as a skateboard for my veritech.
700:(Invy)I will not cut the cheese in a clamshell and blame it on the guy next to me.
701:There will be no more surprise gifts left for Minmay.(When she found out what one was for she almost fainted.)

[taalismn]

702: Tripwired Cobalt Grenades are not amusing alarms if you're expecting your lady friends to visit your flat while you're out.
703: Don't get the Pollinator wet and don't feed it after midnight. Just don't.
704: Quit spreading the rumor that Petit Cola machines hold captive slave midgets. You're scaring the kids.
704a: Quit spreading the rumor they're run by shrunken enslaved military cadets; you're scaring the fresh meat.
705: (Tirolian Internal Security Bureau) Bioroid Terminator Stealth Suits are not to be used for hiding in, and spying on, the women's showers.

[Alpha 11]

691: April Fools' pranks are not supposed to involve armed Neutron-S weaponry
692: 'Harmony Gold' is not the street name of crossbred Flower of Life/cannibis
693: No strafing the parking lot at Harmony Gold in your Alpha either; we're ALL a little anxious about new books, but that ain't helping things...
694: Next time we capture outsiders, we tell'em the 'Satellite Television God' is upset, and get them to fix it for us...or else...It worked with the 'River God' schtick after all...
695: If a female Zentraedi asks if a dress makes her look fat, you are given full, unconditional permission to lie through your teeth...so you can still have them...

696:I will not use Hunters hair gel to cook with.
697:I will not try to duct tape boosters on my gladiator.
698:I will not try to free fall with said modification.
699:I will not use a veritech hover tank as a skateboard for my veritech.
700:(Invy)I will not cut the cheese in a clamshell and blame it on the guy next to me.
701:There will be no more surprise gifts left for Minmay.(When she found out what one was for she almost fainted.)

702: Tripwired Cobalt Grenades are not amusing alarms if you're expecting your lady friends to visit your flat while you're out.
703: Don't get the Pollinator wet and don't feed it after midnight. Just don't.
704: Quit spreading the rumor that Petit Cola machines hold captive slave midgets. You're scaring the kids.
704a: Quit spreading the rumor they're run by shrunken enslaved military cadets; you're scaring the fresh meat.
705: (Tirolian Internal Security Bureau) Bioroid Terminator Stealth Suits are not to be used for hiding in, and spying on, the women's showers.

706: Biohazardous waste is not a toy.
706a: Nor is it a cute pet, no matter how much it may chirp at you.
707: Let's not advertise zentraedi sewage processing outputs as the latest spa craze and say we did.
708: Due to the latest incident concerning the subject, the old Star Trek episode "The Trouble with Tribbles" is now banned from all Tirolian archives...especially those of the genetic scientists.

[taalismn]

709: I don't care if the little orphan waif IS annoying, you can't use her as a suicide bomber
709a: Especially not without her consent.
710: Point that someplace else and quit waving it around. Better yet, put it away.
711: No, I didn't think filling Captain Taylor's cockpit with water and goldfish was funny...
712: Painting the Tactical Corps' APCs up as Spam cans wasn't funny either...
713: You'd think after the Exedore karaoke night fiasco, people would learn. No, you had to get Zor Prime to do it.
713a: Well, at least we now know there's somebody WORSE than Exedore at it.
713b: ...and it was marginally better than getting him drunk and then putting him on stage as a male stripper...
713c: Yes, my eyes still burn from bleach burns too...
714: No, I don't know why Captain Taylor freaks when you say 'Ewoks'. I don't wanna know either. Don't bother him about it.
715: Painting a nude Marie Crystal as nose art on your AJACS is NOT flattery, it's suicide.

[Alpha 11]

709: I don't care if the little orphan waif IS annoying, you can't use her as a suicide bomber
709a: Especially not without her consent.
710: Point that someplace else and quit waving it around. Better yet, put it away.
711: No, I didn't think filling Captain Taylor's cockpit with water and goldfish was funny...
712: Painting the Tactical Corps' APCs up as Spam cans wasn't funny either...
713: You'd think after the Exedore karaoke night fiasco, people would learn. No, you had to get Zor Prime to do it.
713a: Well, at least we now know there's somebody WORSE than Exedore at it.
713b: ...and it was marginally better than getting him drunk and then putting him on stage as a male stripper...
713c: Yes, my eyes still burn from bleach burns too...
714: No, I don't know why Captain Taylor freaks when you say 'Ewoks'. I don't wanna know either. Don't bother him about it.
715: Painting a nude Marie Crystal as nose art on your AJACS is NOT flattery, it's suicide.

[taalismn]

716: Take the giant rubber pullover off the nose of your VF. And no, I don't buy the 'I was teaching safe sex to the Zentraedi' excuse....
717: No, Moon Base ALUCE soldiers are NOT allowed to proclaim "In the name of the Moon, I will punish you!"
717a: Quit trying to get Marie Crystal into a fuku...
717b: That means you too, Phillips.
718: I will not affix giant pinwheels to the tops of the AJACs
719: In retrospect, running pet hamsters through the Protoculture Chamber was a really BAD mistake....
719a: As was dumping Protoculture waste into the city sewers....
720: Telling the micronian prisoners we were going to use the anal probe on them wasn't a good idea either....

[Alpha 11]

716: Take the giant rubber pullover off the nose of your VF. And no, I don't buy the 'I was teaching safe sex to the Zentraedi' excuse....
717: No, Moon Base ALUCE soldiers are NOT allowed to proclaim "In the name of the Moon, I will punish you!"
717a: Quit trying to get Marie Crystal into a fuku...
717b: That means you too, Phillips.
718: I will not affix giant pinwheels to the tops of the AJACs
719: In retrospect, running pet hamsters through the Protoculture Chamber was a really BAD mistake....
719a: As was dumping Protoculture waste into the city sewers....
720: Telling the micronian prisoners we were going to use the anal probe on them wasn't a good idea either....

[batlchip]

721:There will no more calling micronain infantry "squishies".
722:There will be no more reprogramming GMP robots to do the funky chicken.
723:Replacing capt Taylor's ammo with rubber chickens is not funny.
724:Asking Logan pilot's where they keep the batteries is not wise.
725:Will the person or persons responsible for spray painting butcheeks on Marshell Leonard's head.please report to the mess.The GMP wants to talk to you.
726:There will be no more attempts to build a half pipe on the SDF-1 deck.

[taalismn]

727: You may not call a 'live fire orbital bombardment exercise' on your ex's place of residence.
728: Quit refering to Spherians as 'shiny happy people'...and stop singing that damn song!
729: You may not request the GMU's sphere wheels to go innertubing.
730: You will NOT explain Casual Day as 'the day we wear less than normal to work" to the Praxians.

[taalismn]

734: Any further requests for Doctor Lang to develop a "laser-sword" for Garudans will be sent directly to high command. Garudans are not Jedi.

734a: Forget it...he already made one.
734b: This DOES explain the heavy breathing heard from his office over the years.
734c: And why Captain Taylor avoids Lang like the measles.

[taalismn]

738: Quit refering to VF-1As as 'flying red-shirts'
739: Quit refering to Horizon-Ts as 'coffin carriers'
740: Remove the shuffleboard markings from the upper deck of the ARMD. You're only confusing the newbies.

[taalismn]

744: I am NEVER ever again taking dating instructions from Lt. Romero, even if he were still alive. Thanks to his advice, I not only have had to humiliate myself trying to give a plausible excuse to the Emergency Room technicians as to my condition, but I now have to deal with a restraining order that stipulates "within -x-number of light years of the aforementioned."

745: I will take the giant mustache and glasses off the Condor Battloid.

[Alpha 11]

721:There will no more calling micronain infantry "squishies".
722:There will be no more reprogramming GMP robots to do the funky chicken.
723:Replacing capt Taylor's ammo with rubber chickens is not funny.
724:Asking Logan pilot's where they keep the batteries is not wise.
725:Will the person or persons responsible for spray painting butcheeks on Marshell Leonard's head.please report to the mess.The GMP wants to talk to you.
726:There will be no more attempts to build a half pipe on the SDF-1 deck.

727: You may not call a 'live fire orbital bombardment exercise' on your ex's place of residence.
728: Quit refering to Spherians as 'shiny happy people'...and stop singing that damn song!
729: You may not request the GMU's sphere wheels to go innertubing.
730: You will NOT explain Casual Day as 'the day we wear less than normal to work" to the Praxians.

730: Discussing shaving techniques with Garudans or Karberrans is inappropriate.
730a: This goes double for Praxians.
731: While we do encourage some form of self-expression, particularly for the benefit of our alien friends, we will no longer encourage the "corn-rows" hair style among Karberrans. On a similar note; "Scene" hair on a Garudan is simply horrifying.
732: Will the person responsible for introducing the Garudans to Pink Floyd please report to medical with disks of GWAR music? We need to revive some comatose individuals. They simply became too relaxed.
733: Final warning; the Perytonians find requests to "pull a rabbit out of their hat" to be insulting. Do not do it again.
734: Any further requests for Doctor Lang to develop a "laser-sword" for Garudans will be sent directly to high command. Garudans are not Jedi.

734: Any further requests for Doctor Lang to develop a "laser-sword" for Garudans will be sent directly to high command. Garudans are not Jedi.

734a: Forget it...he already made one.
734b: This DOES explain the heavy breathing heard from his office over the years.
734c: And why Captain Taylor avoids Lang like the measles.

735: We are to keep the logistics of prostate exams for full-size zentraedi a thought experiment only and not make any attempt to bring them into reality.
736: We will no longer glue pictures of clouds, rainbows, bells, flowers, clovers or any similar "feel good" imagery onto the stomachs of passed-out Karberrans.
736a: I don't care if it creates a "cute irony" of their species name.
737: My veritech is not a passenger airliner. I will stop giving the "passenger air-safety speech" before every liftoff.

738: Quit refering to VF-1As as 'flying red-shirts'
739: Quit refering to Horizon-Ts as 'coffin carriers'
740: Remove the shuffleboard markings from the upper deck of the ARMD. You're only confusing the newbies.

741: I am no longer to give my C.O. the "puppy-dog eyes", ever. Apparently I don't have the best face for it and he likes to be able to sleep, occasionally.
742: While no one is sure exactly what we'd use for a tent for full-size zentraedi, we're pretty sure it does not include Commander Leonard's undergarments...especially his bustier...
743: From this point forward, it is forbidden for my squad to strip to our shorts, oil ourselves up then go to the beach and pose while pretending to play volleyball.

744: I am NEVER ever again taking dating instructions from Lt. Romero, even if he were still alive. Thanks to his advice, I not only have had to humiliate myself trying to give a plausible excuse to the Emergency Room technicians as to my condition, but I now have to deal with a restraining order that stipulates "within -x-number of light years of the aforementioned."

745: I will take the giant mustache and glasses off the Condor Battloid.

[taalismn]

746: When ordering the Daedalus Attack, I will NOT scream "With My BURNING FINGER!"
747: LIkewise the Kamino sunglasses come off the bridge of the SDF-1
748:Don't tamper with Captain Gloval's vodka...just don't.
749: Stacks of missiles, even if not armed, are not to be used as improvised bongo drums.
749a: Especially not for public concerts of 'Stomp'.
750: I wouldn't shave my beard with a Cyclone CADS system and neither should you.

[batlchip]

751:Who ever started the Meltraedi underwear raids as part of the E & E course is to report to Milia Strerling, she wants a word with you.
752:Do to unfore seen problems.The powderpuff football games between the Praxians and the Meltraedi are canceled.
753:Full sized Zentraedi are not allowed to practice pancor in our cities.
754:Drinking and Hovercycling is bad.

[taalismn]

755: Petit Cola machines are NOT renegade Daleks in disguise
756: Dressing up Breetai as a giant Smurf while he was asleep was NOT a good idea
757: You may NOT paint the RAT-1 Pegasus in pink and sparkles, and call it 'My Little Pony'
757a: The holographic rainbow effect may be noteworthy for its sophistication, but it is NOT working for this army!
758: We are NOT training new recruits in aerial disorientation acclimation by putting them in washing machines at the laundromat. Anybody who tells you differently is pulling a fast one on you.
759: When swapping modular ventral payload/mission bays on the Garfish transports, ALL the attachment bolts have to be tightened.
760: The Klingon Bird of Prey paint job on the Horizon-Ts is very impressive. Now scrub it all off before the Admiral notices.
760a: Okay, maybe keep it for the gunship conversions
760b: Better not; legal issues, y'know.

[Alpha 11]

746: When ordering the Daedalus Attack, I will NOT scream "With My BURNING FINGER!"
747: LIkewise the Kamino sunglasses come off the bridge of the SDF-1
748:Don't tamper with Captain Gloval's vodka...just don't.
749: Stacks of missiles, even if not armed, are not to be used as improvised bongo drums.
749a: Especially not for public concerts of 'Stomp'.
750: I wouldn't shave my beard with a Cyclone CADS system and neither should you.

751:Who ever started the Meltraedi underwear raids as part of the E & E course is to report to Milia Strerling, she wants a word with you.
752:Do to unfore seen problems.The powderpuff football games between the Praxians and the Meltraedi are canceled.
753:Full sized Zentraedi are not allowed to practice pancor in our cities.
754:Drinking and Hovercycling is bad.

755: Petit Cola machines are NOT renegade Daleks in disguise
756: Dressing up Breetai as a giant Smurf while he was asleep was NOT a good idea
757: You may NOT paint the RAT-1 Pegasus in pink and sparkles, and call it 'My Little Pony'
757a: The holographic rainbow effect may be noteworthy for its sophistication, but it is NOT working for this army!
758: We are NOT training new recruits in aerial disorientation acclimation by putting them in washing machines at the laundromat. Anybody who tells you differently is pulling a fast one on you.
759: When swapping modular ventral payload/mission bays on the Garfish transports, ALL the attachment bolts have to be tightened.
760: The Klingon Bird of Prey paint job on the Horizon-Ts is very impressive. Now scrub it all off before the Admiral notices.
760a: Okay, maybe keep it for the gunship conversions
760b: Better not; legal issues, y'know.

[taalismn]

761: No, I don't know who might have replaced Louie Nichols' prescription glasses with distortion lenses...
762: Her name is Annie Labelle; not 'emergency rations'.
763: I swear that I didn't know she was wearing a wire when I made those remarks about Field Marshal Leonard.
764: I can only ascribe my shaking Janice Em 'to see if any loose change drops out' to alcohol.
765: You may NOT borrow the GMU to mow your lawn.

[Alpha 11]

761: No, I don't know who might have replaced Louie Nichols' prescription glasses with distortion lenses...
762: Her name is Annie Labelle; not 'emergency rations'.
763: I swear that I didn't know she was wearing a wire when I made those remarks about Field Marshal Leonard.
764: I can only ascribe my shaking Janice Em 'to see if any loose change drops out' to alcohol.
765: You may NOT borrow the GMU to mow your lawn.

[taalismn]

766: Take the 'Clothing Optional' sign off the entrance to the Bridge. Now.
767: Installing a 'Panic Button' on the Bridge controls was cute. Labeling ALL of them 'Panic Button' is asking for it.
768: Installing a helm control override that routes from your bedroom could be construed as treasonous, suspicious at the very least.
769: That thing you call a 'victory dance'? Don't do it. Again. Ever.
770: Doctor Lang would like to express his appreciation to the wit who wired that firecracker display to the experimental Reflex Furnace, once he and his research team get out of Burn Treatment

[Alpha 11]

766: Take the 'Clothing Optional' sign off the entrance to the Bridge. Now.
767: Installing a 'Panic Button' on the Bridge controls was cute. Labeling ALL of them 'Panic Button' is asking for it.
768: Installing a helm control override that routes from your bedroom could be construed as treasonous, suspicious at the very least.
769: That thing you call a 'victory dance'? Don't do it. Again. Ever.
770: Doctor Lang would like to express his appreciation to the wit who wired that firecracker display to the experimental Reflex Furnace, once he and his research team get out of Burn Treatment

[taalismn]

771: Note: Zentraedi react to surprise parties in the same way they do Invid ambushes
772: Using daisy cutters in place of birthday candles on Breetai's cake was NOT a good idea.
772a: Kazianna Hesh, who was INSIDE the cake, agrees.
773: There is no such thing as 'Ludicrous Speed' in space travel
774: Don't volunteer to apply full-body camouflage paint on Praxians; they use ghillie suits like everybody else.
775: Fishing with Reflex Warheads is strictly PROHIBITED.
775a: Unless you're fishing for kraken, sea serpents, Godzilla, or Cthulu, in which case you are required to fill out and submit the correct permission forms in advance.

[Alpha 11]

771: Note: Zentraedi react to surprise parties in the same way they do Invid ambushes
772: Using daisy cutters in place of birthday candles on Breetai's cake was NOT a good idea.
772a: Kazianna Hesh, who was INSIDE the cake, agrees.
773: There is no such thing as 'Ludicrous Speed' in space travel
774: Don't volunteer to apply full-body camouflage paint on Praxians; they use ghillie suits like everybody else.
775: Fishing with Reflex Warheads is strictly PROHIBITED.
775a: Unless you're fishing for kraken, sea serpents, Godzilla, or Cthulu, in which case you are required to fill out and submit the correct permission forms in advance.

[taalismn]

776: REAL MAN mecha don't run on fancy flowers; they run on cans of corned beef hash.
776a: Ignore the previous idiot.
777: Quit playing chicken in your Veritech with the SDF's bridge.
778: You will observe proper Fold procedure for Defolding, and not attempt to score accuracy points for putting your starship "right on the doorstep" of the facility you're visiting.
778a: Nor will you attempt to Fold INSIDE the facility
778b: Unless the script calls for a dramatic application of Folding
778c: You may not change the script with a truly compelling reason for why you must perform a hyperaccurate Fold
778d: "To settle a bet" or "To impress chicks" are not compelling reasons.
779: No, your PC may not take a Professional level skill profficiency in Strip Poker
779a: Especially not with those P.B. ratings
780: No, you may NOT use the SDF's Main Gun for stump removal in your yard.

[Alpha 11]

776: REAL MAN mecha don't run on fancy flowers; they run on cans of corned beef hash.
776a: Ignore the previous idiot.
777: Quit playing chicken in your Veritech with the SDF's bridge.
778: You will observe proper Fold procedure for Defolding, and not attempt to score accuracy points for putting your starship "right on the doorstep" of the facility you're visiting.
778a: Nor will you attempt to Fold INSIDE the facility
778b: Unless the script calls for a dramatic application of Folding
778c: You may not change the script with a truly compelling reason for why you must perform a hyperaccurate Fold
778d: "To settle a bet" or "To impress chicks" are not compelling reasons.
779: No, your PC may not take a Professional level skill profficiency in Strip Poker
779a: Especially not with those P.B. ratings
780: No, you may NOT use the SDF's Main Gun for stump removal in your yard.

[taalismn]

781: Remember: it's Clutch first, THEN Shift Modes, in a Veritech
782: (Invid) I will not put the entrance to the secret Genesis Pit where random Human mooks can blunder into it; likewise I will look around before entering it myself to make sure no wandering random Human mooks can follow me in.
783: I will wait to make sure the possessed waif is only temporarily possessed before shooting her.
783a: I will NOT allow the waif a weapon capable of harming me or any other important people under my command under ANY circumstances, however.
784: (Zentraedi) Before putting the micronian prisoners in an animal cage for safe keeping, I will first make sure the cage is not already occupied.
785: (Field Marshal Leonard) I will make sure the microphone is turned OFF before making any derogatory or off-the-cuff remarks that might be misinterpreted by anybody I can't afford to #### off.

[Alpha 11]

781: Remember: it's Clutch first, THEN Shift Modes, in a Veritech
782: (Invid) I will not put the entrance to the secret Genesis Pit where random Human mooks can blunder into it; likewise I will look around before entering it myself to make sure no wandering random Human mooks can follow me in.
783: I will wait to make sure the possessed waif is only temporarily possessed before shooting her.
783a: I will NOT allow the waif a weapon capable of harming me or any other important people under my command under ANY circumstances, however.
784: (Zentraedi) Before putting the micronian prisoners in an animal cage for safe keeping, I will first make sure the cage is not already occupied.
785: (Field Marshal Leonard) I will make sure the microphone is turned OFF before making any derogatory or off-the-cuff remarks that might be misinterpreted by anybody I can't afford to #### off.

[taalismn]

786: Don't ask how you're supposed to go to bathroom with all that CVR-3 on, if you bought into all that stuff about the 'Glory of the Corps'.
787: I'm not going to be the one to tell the Zentraedi commando he can't keep a teddybear or a security blanket, and neither are you.
787a: And if either is fire-retardant or MDC, I'm keeping one too.
788: Using Protoculture-based aftershave is NOT the way to attract Invid chicks.
789: If you're taking your mecha down to eat out, leave it in the parking lot and use the front counter; NOT the drive-thru. THis is the third complaint about drive-thru clerks suffering heart attacks or nervous breakdowns this week.
790: NOBODY will use callsigns like 'Pooky', 'Honeybunch', 'Sniggums', or 'Lucious'.

[Alpha 11]

786: Don't ask how you're supposed to go to bathroom with all that CVR-3 on, if you bought into all that stuff about the 'Glory of the Corps'.
787: I'm not going to be the one to tell the Zentraedi commando he can't keep a teddybear or a security blanket, and neither are you.
787a: And if either is fire-retardant or MDC, I'm keeping one too.
788: Using Protoculture-based aftershave is NOT the way to attract Invid chicks.
789: If you're taking your mecha down to eat out, leave it in the parking lot and use the front counter; NOT the drive-thru. THis is the third complaint about drive-thru clerks suffering heart attacks or nervous breakdowns this week.
790: NOBODY will use callsigns like 'Pooky', 'Honeybunch', 'Sniggums', or 'Lucious'.

[AuroraKet]

Hehehehehehe... Hrm. The numbers are 1 off from some point. Thought they were two off, but the next one, in proper numbered order would be 792. I'm trying to compile an .odt document of all of them.

[taalismn]

Hehehehehehe... Hrm. The numbers are 1 off from some point. Thought they were two off, but the next one, in proper numbered order would be 792. I'm trying to compile an .odt document of all of them.

Bound to happen, an the screwup was mine, right?
Well...

792: Quit calling Invid 'Love Bugs' or 'Space Herpes'
793: Okay, who's the idiot who issued us Protoculture cells with three-prong connectors when the equipment plug-ins only have TWO SLOTS???!!!
794: (Robotech Masters) We're here for PROTOCULTURE, not beer. Raid Micronian package stores on your own time.
795: In retrospect, I SHOULD have put down on my application to join the Robotech Defense Force under 'Reasons for Joining' 'To Protect the Earth and Humanity', NOT 'To meet alien women and seduce them with my sheer awesomeness'.

[AuroraKet]

Nah, no clue who it was. Hehehe. Just making sure to get it back on track so when I get the .doc/.odt done it's right.

[Alpha 11]

Hehehehehehe... Hrm. The numbers are 1 off from some point. Thought they were two off, but the next one, in proper numbered order would be 792. I'm trying to compile an .odt document of all of them.

Bound to happen, an the screwup was mine, right?
Well...

792: Quit calling Invid 'Love Bugs' or 'Space Herpes'
793: Okay, who's the idiot who issued us Protoculture cells with three-prong connectors when the equipment plug-ins only have TWO SLOTS???!!!
794: (Robotech Masters) We're here for PROTOCULTURE, not beer. Raid Micronian package stores on your own time.
795: In retrospect, I SHOULD have put down on my application to join the Robotech Defense Force under 'Reasons for Joining' 'To Protect the Earth and Humanity', NOT 'To meet alien women and seduce them with my sheer awesomeness'.

[taalismn]

Timeloop:

"Is it done yet?"
"Not yet, milord."
....
"Is it done yet?"
"Still working on it, milord."
...
"Is it done yet?"
"A little while more, milord."
...
"IS IT DONE YE-"
"Just finished up, milord. Hitting the main power now..."
*WWWheeeeeennnnnnnneeeeeeeeeee*
"Mwhaahahhaahahhah!!! Fools! With the Protoculture I obtained, this ship is fully powered! Lift off and we proceed to Macross City to finish this!"
"Yes, Lord Khyron!"
*BEEP*
"What was that?!"
#"Thank you for activating the Illudium Q-36C Explosive Tactical Space Modulator, the First Choice in concealable fun-to-use nucleonic party-prank ordnance. Congratulations-"#
"GREL! WHERE IS THAT COMING FROM?!"
"Ah...let's see...ah, it's coming from our communications grid."
"I KNOW THAT! BUT WHERE BEYOND THAT!"
"Ah...ah-hah! Our power system!"
#"-you have elected to take the Short Countdown to Oblivion option-"#
"OUR POWER SYSTEM!!!!!???"
#"-so see you all on the Other Side! 5-4-3-"#
"We've been sent the Bomb..."
"Oh, getting that stuff was too EASY!!!"
"DAMN YOU MICRONIANS!!!"
#"-2-1-Bye-Bye!"#
***BBBOOOOOMMMMM***
---
"Admiral Gloval, we're picking up a radiation spike from the Amazon Basin! Satellite surveillance is recording an explosion in the fifty megaton range!"
"A nuclear explosion? What could have happened?"
"Somebody was eager to plug in their new toy and didn't bother to check everything first?"
"What was that, Lisa?"
"Oh, nothing." LIsa murmurred as she covertly tossed the manual for personal N2 demolition devices into the Bridge trash disposal.

[Alpha 11]

Timeloop:

"Is it done yet?"
"Not yet, milord."
....
"Is it done yet?"
"Still working on it, milord."
...
"Is it done yet?"
"A little while more, milord."
...
"IS IT DONE YE-"
"Just finished up, milord. Hitting the main power now..."
*WWWheeeeeennnnnnnneeeeeeeeeee*
"Mwhaahahhaahahhah!!! Fools! With the Protoculture I obtained, this ship is fully powered! Lift off and we proceed to Macross City to finish this!"
"Yes, Lord Khyron!"
*BEEP*
"What was that?!"
#"Thank you for activating the Illudium Q-36C Explosive Tactical Space Modulator, the First Choice in concealable fun-to-use nucleonic party-prank ordnance. Congratulations-"#
"GREL! WHERE IS THAT COMING FROM?!"
"Ah...let's see...ah, it's coming from our communications grid."
"I KNOW THAT! BUT WHERE BEYOND THAT!"
"Ah...ah-hah! Our power system!"
#"-you have elected to take the Short Countdown to Oblivion option-"#
"OUR POWER SYSTEM!!!!!???"
#"-so see you all on the Other Side! 5-4-3-"#
"We've been sent the Bomb..."
"Oh, getting that stuff was too EASY!!!"
"DAMN YOU MICRONIANS!!!"
#"-2-1-Bye-Bye!"#
***BBBOOOOOMMMMM***
---
"Admiral Gloval, we're picking up a radiation spike from the Amazon Basin! Satellite surveillance is recording an explosion in the fifty megaton range!"
"A nuclear explosion? What could have happened?"
"Somebody was eager to plug in their new toy and didn't bother to check everything first?"
"What was that, Lisa?"
"Oh, nothing." LIsa murmurred as she covertly tossed the manual for personal N2 demolition devices into the Bridge trash disposal.

[taalismn]

It Could've Been Worse:
"So, we have two choices for an effective audio attack against the Zentraedi; fingernails running across a chalkboard repeatedly or incessantly at high decibel levels that can crack rock, or a squeal-voiced teenage idol-singer chirping away about love. Which shall it be?"
"...."
"..."
"....."
"We don't exactly have forever to decide, gentlemen! Which shall it be?!"
"We're thinking! We can't just rush into this!"

[Alpha 11]

It Could've Been Worse:
"So, we have two choices for an effective audio attack against the Zentraedi; fingernails running across a chalkboard repeatedly or incessantly at high decibel levels that can crack rock, or a squeal-voiced teenage idol-singer chirping away about love. Which shall it be?"
"...."
"..."
"....."
"We don't exactly have forever to decide, gentlemen! Which shall it be?!"
"We're thinking! We can't just rush into this!"

[taalismn]

It Could've Been Worse:

"So, in order to get the Invid Regis to leave Earth alone, we can either threaten to blow up our entire planet with WMDs...or give her one night of the best mindblowing sex ever?"
"Correct."
"And if she ISN'T satisfied?"
"She blows up Earth anyway."'
"THat's a real mood killer right there."
"No pressure...no pressure at all."

[batlchip]

"Ummmm...Sean what's with the N2 bomb?"
"Well she said she wanted mind blowing sex."

[taalismn]

It Could’ve Been Worse:

“Okay, our script for this arc calls for an orphan waif to join our cast of ragtag misfits, provide comic relief, and provide somebody as a juvenile core for family-bonding. What have we got for candidates, Casting?”
“Hi, my name is Mint Ruble and I’m a perky, annoying, tomboyish blob of prepubescent girlhood who likes candy, getting into trouble, chasing impossible romances, whining and complaining, and, oh yeah, did I mention getting into trouble?”
“Thank you. Next, please?”
“Hi, I’m Hannah Montana, I’m a perky upcoming media star idol wannabe with a celebrity father, girl-power appeal, Daddy’s network connections, who can pull in the commercial endorsements and the fanboy-fangirl demographic, will break out into musical numbers throughout the show because I’m really looking to launch my own musical career, and besides which I look absolutely HOT for fanservice despite the fact that I’m really promoting a squeaky-clean whole girl-next-door image!”
Lancer: “Can we go back to that first one please?”

[taalismn]

It Could’ve Been Worse:
“Okay; we need to get the Original Love back into the Conflicted Young Hero’s life again for the Convoluted Love Life sub-story. All in favor of giving Minmei brain cancer or some other terminal disease to jerk some tears?”

[Alpha 11]

It Could've Been Worse:

"So, in order to get the Invid Regis to leave Earth alone, we can either threaten to blow up our entire planet with WMDs...or give her one night of the best mindblowing sex ever?"
"Correct."
"And if she ISN'T satisfied?"
"She blows up Earth anyway."'
"THat's a real mood killer right there."
"No pressure...no pressure at all."

"Ummmm...Sean what's with the N2 bomb?"
"Well she said she wanted mind blowing sex."

It Could’ve Been Worse:

“Okay, our script for this arc calls for an orphan waif to join our cast of ragtag misfits, provide comic relief, and provide somebody as a juvenile core for family-bonding. What have we got for candidates, Casting?”
“Hi, my name is Mint Ruble and I’m a perky, annoying, tomboyish blob of prepubescent girlhood who likes candy, getting into trouble, chasing impossible romances, whining and complaining, and, oh yeah, did I mention getting into trouble?”
“Thank you. Next, please?”
“Hi, I’m Hannah Montana, I’m a perky upcoming media star idol wannabe with a celebrity father, girl-power appeal, Daddy’s network connections, who can pull in the commercial endorsements and the fanboy-fangirl demographic, will break out into musical numbers throughout the show because I’m really looking to launch my own musical career, and besides which I look absolutely HOT for fanservice despite the fact that I’m really promoting a squeaky-clean whole girl-next-door image!”
Lancer: “Can we go back to that first one please?”

It Could’ve Been Worse:
“Okay; we need to get the Original Love back into the Conflicted Young Hero’s life again for the Convoluted Love Life sub-story. All in favor of giving Minmei brain cancer or some other terminal disease to jerk some tears?”

[Alpha 11]

It Could’ve Been Worse:
“Okay; we need to get the Original Love back into the Conflicted Young Hero’s life again for the Convoluted Love Life sub-story. All in favor of giving Minmei brain cancer or some other terminal disease to jerk some tears?”

The problem is, those would be tears of joy and anticipation for most.

Well in all honesty, I don't think Minmei deserves any of it.

[taalismn]

It Could’ve Been Worse:
“Okay, we got a transvestite, a waif, a biker-punk, and a wilderness rogue among the ragtag misfits. What else can we have?”
“Make Lunk a professional wrestler?”
“I LIKE IT! Tell Wardrobe to start making up masks now!”

[Alpha 11]

It Could’ve Been Worse:
“Okay, we got a transvestite, a waif, a biker-punk, and a wilderness rogue among the ragtag misfits. What else can we have?”
“Make Lunk a professional wrestler?”
“I LIKE IT! Tell Wardrobe to start making up masks now!”

Though Lancer wasn't a transvestite. Though I get it for what you wrote.

[taalismn]

It Could’ve Been Worse:
“Rick loves Minmei in spite of her being a selfish, self-centered little twit who has a music career, with millions of adoring fans. I know! I”LL WIN BACK HIS LOVE BY BECOMING AN IDOL SINGER!!!!”

[Alpha 11]

It Could’ve Been Worse:
“Okay, we got a transvestite, a waif, a biker-punk, and a wilderness rogue among the ragtag misfits. What else can we have?”
“Make Lunk a professional wrestler?”
“I LIKE IT! Tell Wardrobe to start making up masks now!”

Though Lancer wasn't a transvestite. Though I get it for what you wrote.

In which case It Could've Been Worse if Lancer WAS a transvestite...
"Guys, you've been watching that American movie "Rocky Horror Picture Show' too many times...."

It Could’ve Been Worse:
“It’s the aliens, sir, they’re transmitting that they want to talk to us about God, and they’d like to give us some literature...”
“No...no...no....oh no....”

Wow, that was just..., sorry, no reaction here.

[taalismn]

[

Wow, that was just..., sorry, no reaction here.

Alright...deleting it...I'd appreciate if you edited as well...
Gotta expect some stinkers when I've been going 80 pages on this thing...

[Alpha 11]

[

Wow, that was just..., sorry, no reaction here.

Alright...deleting it...I'd appreciate if you edited as well...
Gotta expect some stinkers when I've been going 80 pages on this thing...

Well everything so far have at least brought a small smile to my face, hence the one , so I am not going to complain over one bad one.

[batlchip]

Scott:OKay,Can some one please tell me why? There are 365 pairs of shoes in my Beta?
(Every one looks at Lancer.)
Lancer:What? I need them for my shows and besides it's a weakness just like Rand's Hentai Doujin.He's got at least 20 books in his saddle bags.
Rand:I..I..do not.(Only got 10.)