Robotech Blooper Reels

[taalismn]

[

Veidt: "I mean, no WONDER our WI-FI's always so slow!"
Awareness: <<That's IT!! I'm cutting YOU off from MY data plan!>>
Veidt: "Okay, okay...I won't mention that toaster on toaster stuff you like to watch..."
Awareness: <<Wait...I don't watch that!>>
Veidt: "Uh-oh..."

Robotech Master1: "Inferiors! You should have gone with a bundle plan like we do!"
Robotech Master2:"Phone, internet, and cable through one connection, on one plan!"
Robotech Master3:"The Three That Are As One Plan!"

[Arnie100]

[

Veidt: "I mean, no WONDER our WI-FI's always so slow!"
Awareness: <<That's IT!! I'm cutting YOU off from MY data plan!>>
Veidt: "Okay, okay...I won't mention that toaster on toaster stuff you like to watch..."
Awareness: <<Wait...I don't watch that!>>
Veidt: "Uh-oh..."

Robotech Master1: "Inferiors! You should have gone with a bundle plan like we do!"
Robotech Master2:"Phone, internet, and cable through one connection, on one plan!"
Robotech Master3:"The Three That Are As One Plan!"

Leonard: "Dammit, I can't even afford one of those! And I'm the SUPREME COMMANDER!"
Robotech Masters: "THAT is why WE will ALWAYS be SUPERIOR!! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Puny Earthlings!"

[glitterboy2098]

science triumverate 1: "uhmm... masters..'
science triumverate 2: "i'm afraid our phone, internet and cable just got shut off..'
science triumverate 3: "our protoculture account got too low, and we couldn't pay the bill...."

science triumverate 1: "we will have to survive with collect calls and free wifi.."
science triumverate 2: "and public broadcast TV"
science triumverate 3: "this earth 'PBS' is really quite fascinating"

[Arnie100]

SDF-3, Adm. Rick Hunter's Quarters:

Rick: "What are YOU people complaining about!? I'm stuck out here, in the middle of nowhere, with just BASIC cable!! I can't even get On Demand because of that Old Sourpuss!"
Lisa: "What was that, Rick?"
Rick: 'Nothing, nothing..."

[taalismn]

General Reinhardt: "Which is why I order my recon Alpha teams on 'special missions'."
Jack Baker: "You mean you order highly trained communications and electronic counter measure intelligence specialists and million dollar electronic intelligence mecha and aerospace craft to intercept, decrypt, unscrabble, and covertly deliver satellite TV adult programming and sports to your secured flat screen in your shielded office."
General Reinhardt: "Uhm...."
Grel: "Hey, Lord Khyron did that ALL the time with our Regult and Cyclops scouts! Beat paying through the nose for channels! If you got it, use it to stick it to the corporate media pigs!"

[SRoss]

General Reinhardt: "Which is why I order my recon Alpha teams on 'special missions'."
Jack Baker: "You mean you order highly trained communications and electronic counter measure intelligence specialists and million dollar electronic intelligence mecha and aerospace craft to intercept, decrypt, unscrabble, and covertly deliver satellite TV adult programming and sports to your secured flat screen in your shielded office."
General Reinhardt: "Uhm...."
Grel: "Hey, Lord Khyron did that ALL the time with our Regult and Cyclops scouts! Beat paying through the nose for channels! If you got it, use it to stick it to the corporate media pigs!"

Suddenly Minmei kicks in the door, leveling and big-ass machinegun at the group.

Minmei: "YOU OWE ME ROYALTIES!!!"

[taalismn]

[
Suddenly Minmei kicks in the door, leveling and big-ass machinegun at the group.

Minmei: "YOU OWE ME ROYALTIES!!!"

Grel holds up a DVD titled(in legible English) "Video Vixen Macross".
Minmei immediately acts like a vampire having been presented with a cross, and runs away screaming.
Grel:(turning to the others, as he puts the disc away in his jacket) "Then, there are advantages to HUMAN intelligence operations."
Jack Baker: "You mean like digging through the trash bins in the red light district?"
Grel: "Exactly. Useful intelligence can be found in the most unlikely of places."
Rheinhart: "Aren't you supposed to be some dumb lickspittle minion? You're sounding more like some old Russian fieldcraft expert.."
Grel: "Never underestimate Zentraedi persistance in ferreting out the weaknesses of a potential adversary!"
Rheinhart: "Which can be undone by liberal application of emotional force to the cultural glass jaw of the Zentraedi."
Grel: "Crudely put, but true."

[Arnie100]

[
Suddenly Minmei kicks in the door, leveling and big-ass machinegun at the group.

Minmei: "YOU OWE ME ROYALTIES!!!"

Grel holds up a DVD titled(in legible English) "Video Vixen Macross".
Minmei immediately acts like a vampire having been presented with a cross, and runs away screaming.
Grel:(turning to the others, as he puts the disc away in his jacket) "Then, there are advantages to HUMAN intelligence operations."
Jack Baker: "You mean like digging through the trash bins in the red light district?"
Grel: "Exactly. Useful intelligence can be found in the most unlikely of places."
Rheinhart: "Aren't you supposed to be some dumb lickspittle minion? You're sounding more like some old Russian fieldcraft expert.."
Grel: "Never underestimate Zentraedi persistance in ferreting out the weaknesses of a potential adversary!"
Rheinhart: "Which can be undone by liberal application of emotional force to the cultural glass jaw of the Zentraedi."
Grel: "Crudely put, but true."

Grel: "Besides, she only had that one album. It wasn't really a bestseller. When we blew up half your planet, we blew away everyone with any REAL talent. What a shame, too. My culture could have benefitted even more from all the other REAL artists." (Shakes head sadly)

[taalismn]

Khyron: "Grel? Thinking critically? Making critical commentary on Zentraedi espionage and culture? MY Grel? The guy who can barely string two intelligible sentences together? Who gets lost on the way from the bridge to his quarters? You sure you guys didn't swap him for another clone of his line? Come to think of it, isn't he the ONLY clone of his line?"
Gerao: "Well, sir, he DID survive several years of being your adjutant. That alone favors some degree of brains over dumb luck."
Khyron glares at Gerao.
Gerao: "Yessir, dumb luck. What he just said to the micronians...equivalent of a room full of chimpanzees banging on typewriters producing Shakespeare. Bound to happen at extremely long odds....Just plain dumb luck."

[Arnie100]

Khyron: "Grel? Thinking critically? Making critical commentary on Zentraedi espionage and culture? MY Grel? The guy who can barely string two intelligible sentences together? Who gets lost on the way from the bridge to his quarters? You sure you guys didn't swap him for another clone of his line? Come to think of it, isn't he the ONLY clone of his line?"
Gerao: "Well, sir, he DID survive several years of being your adjutant. That alone favors some degree of brains over dumb luck."
Khyron glares at Gerao.
Gerao: "Yessir, dumb luck. What he just said to the micronians...equivalent of a room full of chimpanzees banging on typewriters producing Shakespeare. Bound to happen at extremely long odds....Just plain dumb luck."

Khyron: "Shut up, Gerao. Maybe I should upload that video of you with the wedgie..."
Gerao: "Grel is absolutely an idiot, Sir!! Yes, Sir! He must be under the influence of some Micronian drug or something..."
Khyron: "Very good, Gerao. Now go and find something USEFUL to do. And stay away from those thongs of yours!"
Gerao: (Stammering) "I, I don't know what you're talking about, Sir!" (Runs out of the room)

[taalismn]

[Khyron: "Very good, Gerao. Now go and find something USEFUL to do. And stay away from those thongs of yours!"
)

(Zentraedi grunt standing nearby collapses in convulsions as he remembers the incident)
Khyron: "Damn it! I thought the increased drug regimen had taken care of that problem! Oh well, double the dosage in the rations again!"

[Arnie100]

[Khyron: "Very good, Gerao. Now go and find something USEFUL to do. And stay away from those thongs of yours!"
)

(Zentraedi grunt standing nearby collapses in convulsions as he remembers the incident)
Khyron: "Damn it! I thought the increased drug regimen had taken care of that problem! Oh well, double the dosage in the rations again!"

Khyron: "Maybe I should put MYSELF on that increased drug regimen. I'm STILL having nightmares!" (shudders)

[taalismn]

[
Khyron: "Maybe I should put MYSELF on that increased drug regimen. I'm STILL having nightmares!" (shudders)

(Wide angle shot of the bridge of Khyron's battlecruiser, before POV starts panning over specific crewmen...just sitting at their stations, staring at the pretty lights, or whirling in the chairs, or gawking at the ceiling lights. One crewmember is drooling. Another is humming off-ley to himself as he runs sideways across the bridge and out of view...there's a loud crash later...similar shots of halls in the ship, a mecha bay, with fully armored troopers tossing ammo clips up in the air and giggling as they fall back down to the deck...cut back to the bridge and Khyron's command bubble as he stands there, watching as two crewmen butt heads and fall down laughing)
Khyron: (shaking head) "Okay...too much drugs..."

[SRoss]

[
Khyron: "Maybe I should put MYSELF on that increased drug regimen. I'm STILL having nightmares!" (shudders)

(Wide angle shot of the bridge of Khyron's battlecruiser, before POV starts panning over specific crewmen...just sitting at their stations, staring at the pretty lights, or whirling in the chairs, or gawking at the ceiling lights. One crewmember is drooling. Another is humming off-key to himself as he runs sideways across the bridge and out of view...there's a loud crash later...similar shots of halls in the ship, a mecha bay, with fully armored troopers tossing ammo clips up in the air and giggling as they fall back down to the deck...cut back to the bridge and Khyron's command bubble as he stands there, watching as two crewmen butt heads and fall down laughing)
Khyron: (shaking head) "Okay...too much drugs..."

(Focus on a darkened side corridor, two figures, Grel and a redheaded micronian woman in a trench coat.)

Sammie: "Guards out of the way?"

Grel: (Smiling) "No problem. With that last dose, they be out of it for days."

Sammie: "Good."

She hands Grel a DVD in a plastic baggie and then bends down to pick up what appears to be an old Doctor's bag.

Grel: "You'll find him on the bridge."

[Alpha 11]

Electronic Voice: RRRIIINNNNGGG!! "Field Marshal Leonard, candy-gram for Field Marshal Leonard!"
Leonard: "You're NOT fooling me! I know you're not a candy-gram delivery guy! You're just waiting to punk me!"
Electronic Voice: "I assure you, sir, I have no idea what you're talking about! I'm just an innocent delivery guy with a legitima-"
Leonard: "I READ THIS THREAD! I KNOW WHAT YOU HAYDONITES ARE UP TO AND I GOT TEN THOUSAND REASONS WHY I'M NOT GOING ALONG WITH IT!"
Electronic Voice: "Ten thousand...? ....You've got a machine gun in there with you, don't you?"
Leonard: "Guess right and win a prize!"
Electronic Voice:"Oh goody, a prize? What did I wi...wait a second...this is going to hurt, isn't it....?"
BRAKKABRAKKABRAKKABRAKKABRAKKABRAKKABRAKKABRAKKABRAKKA

Dana: "OHMYGODYOUSHOTTHEDELIVERYBOY!!!"

Leonard: "IT WAS A HAYDONITE! I HEARD THE ELECTRIC VOICE!"

Dana: "HE HAD A THROAT INJURY! THAT WAS HIS VOCORDER YOU HEARD!"

Nova: "FREEZE!!! PUT YOUR HANDS UP!!!" "Not you Dana..."

Leonard: "What the hell!"

Nova: (Pointing her gun at Leonard's head) "Alright, strip to your underwear, put your hands on your head and come with me!" "NOW!!!"

Nova marches Leonard out into the parade ground at gun point just as the Daughters of the First Robotech War arrive for their tour. Meanwhile, Dana walks over to a figure in the hallway.

Electronic Voice: "High Fiv ... Wait!"

Dana slams her palm into Veidlt's faceplate.

Dana: "You've just been PUNK'D!"
Veidt: "This...fffzzz...was...fffzzz...not...fffzzz...FORESEEN...fffzzz..."

Hyadonite: "So we have a possibility where Leonard is NOT punk'ed and I die, and we have ANOTHER possibility where he IS punk'ed and I still die, and yet, as the Robotech Masters do things in threes, that means there must be a THIRD possibility where Leonard....is confused? Indecisive?"
GMP Trooper: "So he calls the GMP, who find an alien intruder on his property, and kill it."
Hyadonite: "So we have a possibility where Leonard calls the GMP, who find an alien intruder on his property, and kill---wait a sec-"
*BLAM!*

Hyadonite: "So we have a possibility where Leonard is NOT punk'ed and I die, and we have ANOTHER possibility where he IS punk'ed and I still die, and yet, as the Robotech Masters do things in threes, that means there must be a THIRD possibility where Leonard....is confused? Indecisive?"
GMP Trooper: "So he calls the GMP, who find an alien intruder on his property, and kill it."
Hyadonite: "So we have a possibility where Leonard calls the GMP, who find an alien intruder on his property, and kill---wait a sec-"
*BLAM!*

Awareness: "Hmmm...these scenarios are most...troubling.
Haydonite: "You're telling me...in every one of them, I always end up..."
*BLAM!*
Haydonite: "Ooh, no. NOT AGAIN!!"

[Arnie100]

[
Khyron: "Maybe I should put MYSELF on that increased drug regimen. I'm STILL having nightmares!" (shudders)

(Wide angle shot of the bridge of Khyron's battlecruiser, before POV starts panning over specific crewmen...just sitting at their stations, staring at the pretty lights, or whirling in the chairs, or gawking at the ceiling lights. One crewmember is drooling. Another is humming off-key to himself as he runs sideways across the bridge and out of view...there's a loud crash later...similar shots of halls in the ship, a mecha bay, with fully armored troopers tossing ammo clips up in the air and giggling as they fall back down to the deck...cut back to the bridge and Khyron's command bubble as he stands there, watching as two crewmen butt heads and fall down laughing)
Khyron: (shaking head) "Okay...too much drugs..."

(Focus on a darkened side corridor, two figures, Grel and a redheaded micronian woman in a trench coat.)

Sammie: "Guards out of the way?"

Grel: (Smiling) "No problem. With that last dose, they be out of it for days."

Sammie: "Good."

She hands Grel a DVD in a plastic baggie and then bends down to pick up what appears to be an old Doctor's bag.

Grel: "You'll find him on the bridge."

Khyron: "Now what to do ab -- ! YOU!!! How did YOU get in here!! Where are my guards!? GUARDS!""
Sammie: "That was easy with your troops behaving the way they are right now!" (Reaches into bag)
Khyron: "What are you gonna DO!?"
Sammie: "I still have some unfinished business with you!" (Pulls out a microphone)
Khyron: "No...NO...ANYTHING but THAT!" (Turns and dives out of the command bubble)
Sammie: "Now who am I going to sing, too!?"
(Gerao walks into the bridge)
Gerao: "My Lord Khyro -- Oh, sh1t..."
Sammie: "Muahahahahahahahahah!" (As she locks he door)
(Behind the lock doors)
Gerao: "SOMEONE HELP MEEEEEEEE!!!!"

[Alpha 11]

Awareness to Haydonite:
"My apologies, it's just that I haven't had a chance to "punk'd" anyone in several millennium. Its a very relaxing opportunity...

"Ya know what, we should just call this whole Shadow War thing off really, I feel so much better now..."

"Of course, this does have the potential to "punk'd"...the entire UEEF at once!!!"

*From the somewhat less than intact body on the above Haydonite on the floor...*

"This...has...not...been...fore...seen..." THUD!

Haydonite: "It's...fffzzz...not...fffzzz...FAIR!! I've...fffzzzPOP...been...fffzzz...LOYAL!! Why...ME!?
Awareness: "I'm very sorry, but it DOES relieve the BOREDOM."

Haydonite:"(spark) Why(zzst!) does it<<neneeeeeeeeeee>> have toBBBEEE(arc) ME!?"
Awareness: << Because I am Aware of you referring to Me as quote: 'a low-grade special effects display obviously meant to awe symbolically-challenged first-generation pocket calculators'.>>
Haydonite:"You *zeenneneeenene* HEARD(XARKKKK) that?!"(sputter)
Awareness: <<I ain't called the Awareness for nothing! That, and you dress like a punching bag!>>

Dana: (wearing this sexy silk teddy number) "Hey Baby, you been waiting long?"

Awareness: "This was unforeseen, but is pleasant nonetheless."

Dana: (sauntering up and stroking the Awareness's casing) "Of course you know I'm a Sterling daughter, and what that means?"

Awareness: "There is no scientific basis for the Sterling curse..."

Veidlt: "Awareness, the pizza you ordered is here."

Awareness: "I ordered no pizza."

A leather clad Leonard enters wearing dark sunglasses and carrying a pizza box.

Dana: (walking out high fiving Leonard as she goes) "What's your science say about this?"

Leonard pulls an impossibly huge gun out of the pizza box.

Awareness: "Well CENSORED me."

BRAKKABRAKKABRAKKABRAKKABRAKKABRAKKABRAKKABRAKKABRAKKA

Leonard: (laughing manically) "DIE! DIE! DIE! HA HA HA!!!"

Though the part with Leonard is a little disurbing.

Awareness: <<That which can make backup copies of itself cannot die.>>
Leonard: "How about that which cannot pay its long distance server bills?"(waves phone bill)
Awareness: <<And how does that affect the Awareness?>>
Leonard: "Galactic Bell is BASED on Earth. And guess who the controlling shareholder is?"
Awareness: << You fiends!!>>

Awareness: <<That which can make backup copies of itself cannot die.>>
Leonard: "How about that which cannot pay its long distance server bills?"(waves phone bill)
Awareness: <<And how does that affect the Awareness?>>
Leonard: "Galactic Bell is BASED on Earth. And guess who the controlling shareholder is?"
Awareness: << You fiends!!>>

Awareness: <<Wait...HAH!! OUR carrier isn't Galactic Bell, We use Interstellar Verizon! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!>>
Leonard: "Your plan just expired today!"
Awareness: <<But that's IMPOSSIBLE! I have an unlimited data plan!>>
Leonard: "Apparently, someone forgot to pay their phone bill..."
Awareness: <<NNNNNOOOO!!!!>>

[

Awareness: <<Wait...HAH!! OUR carrier isn't Galactic Bell, We use Interstellar Verizon! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!>>
Leonard: "Your plan just expired today!"
Awareness: <<But that's IMPOSSIBLE! I have an unlimited data plan!>>
Leonard: "Apparently, someone forgot to pay their phone bill..."
Awareness: <<NNNNNOOOO!!!!>>

Veidt: "I coulda foreseen THAT, what with all the toaster porn SOMEBODY was downloading."
Awareness: <<I don't like what you're implying, minion!>>

[Alpha 11]

[

Awareness: <<Wait...HAH!! OUR carrier isn't Galactic Bell, We use Interstellar Verizon! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!>>
Leonard: "Your plan just expired today!"
Awareness: <<But that's IMPOSSIBLE! I have an unlimited data plan!>>
Leonard: "Apparently, someone forgot to pay their phone bill..."
Awareness: <<NNNNNOOOO!!!!>>

Veidt: "I coulda foreseen THAT, what with all the toaster porn SOMEBODY was downloading."
Awareness: <<I don't like what you're implying, minion!>>

Veidt: "I mean, no WONDER our WI-FI's always so slow!"
Awareness: <<That's IT!! I'm cutting YOU off from MY data plan!>>
Veidt: "Okay, okay...I won't mention that toaster on toaster stuff you like to watch..."
Awareness: <<Wait...I don't watch that!>>
Veidt: "Uh-oh..."

[

Veidt: "I mean, no WONDER our WI-FI's always so slow!"
Awareness: <<That's IT!! I'm cutting YOU off from MY data plan!>>
Veidt: "Okay, okay...I won't mention that toaster on toaster stuff you like to watch..."
Awareness: <<Wait...I don't watch that!>>
Veidt: "Uh-oh..."

Robotech Master1: "Inferiors! You should have gone with a bundle plan like we do!"
Robotech Master2:"Phone, internet, and cable through one connection, on one plan!"
Robotech Master3:"The Three That Are As One Plan!"

[

Veidt: "I mean, no WONDER our WI-FI's always so slow!"
Awareness: <<That's IT!! I'm cutting YOU off from MY data plan!>>
Veidt: "Okay, okay...I won't mention that toaster on toaster stuff you like to watch..."
Awareness: <<Wait...I don't watch that!>>
Veidt: "Uh-oh..."

Robotech Master1: "Inferiors! You should have gone with a bundle plan like we do!"
Robotech Master2:"Phone, internet, and cable through one connection, on one plan!"
Robotech Master3:"The Three That Are As One Plan!"

Leonard: "Dammit, I can't even afford one of those! And I'm the SUPREME COMMANDER!"
Robotech Masters: "THAT is why WE will ALWAYS be SUPERIOR!! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Puny Earthlings!"

science triumverate 1: "uhmm... masters..'
science triumverate 2: "i'm afraid our phone, internet and cable just got shut off..'
science triumverate 3: "our protoculture account got too low, and we couldn't pay the bill...."

science triumverate 1: "we will have to survive with collect calls and free wifi.."
science triumverate 2: "and public broadcast TV"
science triumverate 3: "this earth 'PBS' is really quite fascinating"

SDF-3, Adm. Rick Hunter's Quarters:

Rick: "What are YOU people complaining about!? I'm stuck out here, in the middle of nowhere, with just BASIC cable!! I can't even get On Demand because of that Old Sourpuss!"
Lisa: "What was that, Rick?"
Rick: 'Nothing, nothing..."

General Reinhardt: "Which is why I order my recon Alpha teams on 'special missions'."
Jack Baker: "You mean you order highly trained communications and electronic counter measure intelligence specialists and million dollar electronic intelligence mecha and aerospace craft to intercept, decrypt, unscrabble, and covertly deliver satellite TV adult programming and sports to your secured flat screen in your shielded office."
General Reinhardt: "Uhm...."
Grel: "Hey, Lord Khyron did that ALL the time with our Regult and Cyclops scouts! Beat paying through the nose for channels! If you got it, use it to stick it to the corporate media pigs!"

General Reinhardt: "Which is why I order my recon Alpha teams on 'special missions'."
Jack Baker: "You mean you order highly trained communications and electronic counter measure intelligence specialists and million dollar electronic intelligence mecha and aerospace craft to intercept, decrypt, unscrabble, and covertly deliver satellite TV adult programming and sports to your secured flat screen in your shielded office."
General Reinhardt: "Uhm...."
Grel: "Hey, Lord Khyron did that ALL the time with our Regult and Cyclops scouts! Beat paying through the nose for channels! If you got it, use it to stick it to the corporate media pigs!"

Suddenly Minmei kicks in the door, leveling and big-ass machinegun at the group.

Minmei: "YOU OWE ME ROYALTIES!!!"

[
Suddenly Minmei kicks in the door, leveling and big-ass machinegun at the group.

Minmei: "YOU OWE ME ROYALTIES!!!"

Grel holds up a DVD titled(in legible English) "Video Vixen Macross".
Minmei immediately acts like a vampire having been presented with a cross, and runs away screaming.
Grel:(turning to the others, as he puts the disc away in his jacket) "Then, there are advantages to HUMAN intelligence operations."
Jack Baker: "You mean like digging through the trash bins in the red light district?"
Grel: "Exactly. Useful intelligence can be found in the most unlikely of places."
Rheinhart: "Aren't you supposed to be some dumb lickspittle minion? You're sounding more like some old Russian fieldcraft expert.."
Grel: "Never underestimate Zentraedi persistance in ferreting out the weaknesses of a potential adversary!"
Rheinhart: "Which can be undone by liberal application of emotional force to the cultural glass jaw of the Zentraedi."
Grel: "Crudely put, but true."

[Alpha 11]

[
Suddenly Minmei kicks in the door, leveling and big-ass machinegun at the group.

Minmei: "YOU OWE ME ROYALTIES!!!"

Grel holds up a DVD titled(in legible English) "Video Vixen Macross".
Minmei immediately acts like a vampire having been presented with a cross, and runs away screaming.
Grel:(turning to the others, as he puts the disc away in his jacket) "Then, there are advantages to HUMAN intelligence operations."
Jack Baker: "You mean like digging through the trash bins in the red light district?"
Grel: "Exactly. Useful intelligence can be found in the most unlikely of places."
Rheinhart: "Aren't you supposed to be some dumb lickspittle minion? You're sounding more like some old Russian fieldcraft expert.."
Grel: "Never underestimate Zentraedi persistance in ferreting out the weaknesses of a potential adversary!"
Rheinhart: "Which can be undone by liberal application of emotional force to the cultural glass jaw of the Zentraedi."
Grel: "Crudely put, but true."

Grel: "Besides, she only had that one album. It wasn't really a bestseller. When we blew up half your planet, we blew away everyone with any REAL talent. What a shame, too. My culture could have benefitted even more from all the other REAL artists." (Shakes head sadly)

Khyron: "Grel? Thinking critically? Making critical commentary on Zentraedi espionage and culture? MY Grel? The guy who can barely string two intelligible sentences together? Who gets lost on the way from the bridge to his quarters? You sure you guys didn't swap him for another clone of his line? Come to think of it, isn't he the ONLY clone of his line?"
Gerao: "Well, sir, he DID survive several years of being your adjutant. That alone favors some degree of brains over dumb luck."
Khyron glares at Gerao.
Gerao: "Yessir, dumb luck. What he just said to the micronians...equivalent of a room full of chimpanzees banging on typewriters producing Shakespeare. Bound to happen at extremely long odds....Just plain dumb luck."

Khyron: "Grel? Thinking critically? Making critical commentary on Zentraedi espionage and culture? MY Grel? The guy who can barely string two intelligible sentences together? Who gets lost on the way from the bridge to his quarters? You sure you guys didn't swap him for another clone of his line? Come to think of it, isn't he the ONLY clone of his line?"
Gerao: "Well, sir, he DID survive several years of being your adjutant. That alone favors some degree of brains over dumb luck."
Khyron glares at Gerao.
Gerao: "Yessir, dumb luck. What he just said to the micronians...equivalent of a room full of chimpanzees banging on typewriters producing Shakespeare. Bound to happen at extremely long odds....Just plain dumb luck."

Khyron: "Shut up, Gerao. Maybe I should upload that video of you with the wedgie..."
Gerao: "Grel is absolutely an idiot, Sir!! Yes, Sir! He must be under the influence of some Micronian drug or something..."
Khyron: "Very good, Gerao. Now go and find something USEFUL to do. And stay away from those thongs of yours!"
Gerao: (Stammering) "I, I don't know what you're talking about, Sir!" (Runs out of the room)

[Khyron: "Very good, Gerao. Now go and find something USEFUL to do. And stay away from those thongs of yours!"
)

(Zentraedi grunt standing nearby collapses in convulsions as he remembers the incident)
Khyron: "Damn it! I thought the increased drug regimen had taken care of that problem! Oh well, double the dosage in the rations again!"

[Khyron: "Very good, Gerao. Now go and find something USEFUL to do. And stay away from those thongs of yours!"
)

(Zentraedi grunt standing nearby collapses in convulsions as he remembers the incident)
Khyron: "Damn it! I thought the increased drug regimen had taken care of that problem! Oh well, double the dosage in the rations again!"

Khyron: "Maybe I should put MYSELF on that increased drug regimen. I'm STILL having nightmares!" (shudders)

[
Khyron: "Maybe I should put MYSELF on that increased drug regimen. I'm STILL having nightmares!" (shudders)

(Wide angle shot of the bridge of Khyron's battlecruiser, before POV starts panning over specific crewmen...just sitting at their stations, staring at the pretty lights, or whirling in the chairs, or gawking at the ceiling lights. One crewmember is drooling. Another is humming off-ley to himself as he runs sideways across the bridge and out of view...there's a loud crash later...similar shots of halls in the ship, a mecha bay, with fully armored troopers tossing ammo clips up in the air and giggling as they fall back down to the deck...cut back to the bridge and Khyron's command bubble as he stands there, watching as two crewmen butt heads and fall down laughing)
Khyron: (shaking head) "Okay...too much drugs..."

[
Khyron: "Maybe I should put MYSELF on that increased drug regimen. I'm STILL having nightmares!" (shudders)

(Wide angle shot of the bridge of Khyron's battlecruiser, before POV starts panning over specific crewmen...just sitting at their stations, staring at the pretty lights, or whirling in the chairs, or gawking at the ceiling lights. One crewmember is drooling. Another is humming off-key to himself as he runs sideways across the bridge and out of view...there's a loud crash later...similar shots of halls in the ship, a mecha bay, with fully armored troopers tossing ammo clips up in the air and giggling as they fall back down to the deck...cut back to the bridge and Khyron's command bubble as he stands there, watching as two crewmen butt heads and fall down laughing)
Khyron: (shaking head) "Okay...too much drugs..."

(Focus on a darkened side corridor, two figures, Grel and a redheaded micronian woman in a trench coat.)

Sammie: "Guards out of the way?"

Grel: (Smiling) "No problem. With that last dose, they be out of it for days."

Sammie: "Good."

She hands Grel a DVD in a plastic baggie and then bends down to pick up what appears to be an old Doctor's bag.

Grel: "You'll find him on the bridge."

[
Khyron: "Maybe I should put MYSELF on that increased drug regimen. I'm STILL having nightmares!" (shudders)

(Wide angle shot of the bridge of Khyron's battlecruiser, before POV starts panning over specific crewmen...just sitting at their stations, staring at the pretty lights, or whirling in the chairs, or gawking at the ceiling lights. One crewmember is drooling. Another is humming off-key to himself as he runs sideways across the bridge and out of view...there's a loud crash later...similar shots of halls in the ship, a mecha bay, with fully armored troopers tossing ammo clips up in the air and giggling as they fall back down to the deck...cut back to the bridge and Khyron's command bubble as he stands there, watching as two crewmen butt heads and fall down laughing)
Khyron: (shaking head) "Okay...too much drugs..."

(Focus on a darkened side corridor, two figures, Grel and a redheaded micronian woman in a trench coat.)

Sammie: "Guards out of the way?"

Grel: (Smiling) "No problem. With that last dose, they be out of it for days."

Sammie: "Good."

She hands Grel a DVD in a plastic baggie and then bends down to pick up what appears to be an old Doctor's bag.

Grel: "You'll find him on the bridge."

Khyron: "Now what to do ab -- ! YOU!!! How did YOU get in here!! Where are my guards!? GUARDS!""
Sammie: "That was easy with your troops behaving the way they are right now!" (Reaches into bag)
Khyron: "What are you gonna DO!?"
Sammie: "I still have some unfinished business with you!" (Pulls out a microphone)
Khyron: "No...NO...ANYTHING but THAT!" (Turns and dives out of the command bubble)
Sammie: "Now who am I going to sing, too!?"
(Gerao walks into the bridge)
Gerao: "My Lord Khyro -- Oh, sh1t..."
Sammie: "Muahahahahahahahahah!" (As she locks he door)
(Behind the lock doors)
Gerao: "SOMEONE HELP MEEEEEEEE!!!!"

[taalismn]

"So, what brings you here?"
"My crew's stoned, Gerao's a raving deviant, Grel's turned out to have hidden a cunning backstabbing intellect even -I- didn't suspect, and my micronian stalker's taken over my bridge. You?"
"Miriya and that micronian woman staged a coup on my ship. They've got all of my Quadronos watching something called 'Chippendales'."
"Why didn't you go to Breetai for help?"
"Apparently he's one of the 'Chippendales'."
"Dolza?"
"Refuses to take my calls. Something about the phone number no longer being in service."
"Ouch."
"Yes, painful indeed. Soooooo...what do we do, Khyron?"
"Do? My dear Azonia, we sit on this beach, drink ourselves blind and senseless, all the while bemoaning that we're the only rational sane people in this insane universe, and at some point tonight we jettison our inhibitions and have wild sex with each other."
"Sounds like a plan."
"To diminished mental capacity."
"To this crazy nonsensical universe we find ourselves stuck in."
(clink of glasses)

[SRoss]

"So, what brings you here?"
"My crew's stoned, Gerao's a raving deviant, Grel's turned out to have hidden a cunning backstabbing intellect even -I- didn't suspect, and my micronian stalker's taken over my bridge. You?"
"Miriya and that micronian woman staged a coup on my ship. They've got all of my Quadronos watching something called 'Chippendales'."
"Why didn't you go to Breetai for help?"
"Apparently he's one of the 'Chippendales'."
"Dolza?"
"Refuses to take my calls. Something about the phone number no longer being in service."
"Ouch."
"Yes, painful indeed. Soooooo...what do we do, Khyron?"
"Do? My dear Azonia, we sit on this beach, drink ourselves blind and senseless, all the while bemoaning that we're the only rational sane people in this insane universe, and at some point tonight we jettison our inhibitions and have wild sex with each other."
"Sounds like a plan."
"To diminished mental capacity."
"To this crazy nonsensical universe we find ourselves stuck in."
(clink of glasses)

In mid ... you know, Khyron and Azonia are interrupted by a static crackle and Khyron, to his horror, remembers that he left Sammie in the Command Bubble with a microphone and access to the ship's intercom system.

Khyron & Azonia: (Together) "OH (CENSORED)!"

[taalismn]

Meanwhile, at the 2018 Robotech Games:

The athletes of the surviving countries eager wait, cauldron waits to be lit in front of thousands of micronians and full-sized Zentraedi, and a viewing audience of millions...Lynn Minmei is poised to sing...
...and in a streak of light and screaming, Lynn Kyle, on fire, runs into the stadium, around the track, then up the stairs to the only available fire extinguisher, incidentally running ACROSS the cauldron, which lights up with a FWOOSH of bright flame.

And there is much rejoicing.

[Alpha 11]

"So, what brings you here?"
"My crew's stoned, Gerao's a raving deviant, Grel's turned out to have hidden a cunning backstabbing intellect even -I- didn't suspect, and my micronian stalker's taken over my bridge. You?"
"Miriya and that micronian woman staged a coup on my ship. They've got all of my Quadronos watching something called 'Chippendales'."
"Why didn't you go to Breetai for help?"
"Apparently he's one of the 'Chippendales'."
"Dolza?"
"Refuses to take my calls. Something about the phone number no longer being in service."
"Ouch."
"Yes, painful indeed. Soooooo...what do we do, Khyron?"
"Do? My dear Azonia, we sit on this beach, drink ourselves blind and senseless, all the while bemoaning that we're the only rational sane people in this insane universe, and at some point tonight we jettison our inhibitions and have wild sex with each other."
"Sounds like a plan."
"To diminished mental capacity."
"To this crazy nonsensical universe we find ourselves stuck in."
(clink of glasses)

"So, what brings you here?"
"My crew's stoned, Gerao's a raving deviant, Grel's turned out to have hidden a cunning backstabbing intellect even -I- didn't suspect, and my micronian stalker's taken over my bridge. You?"
"Miriya and that micronian woman staged a coup on my ship. They've got all of my Quadronos watching something called 'Chippendales'."
"Why didn't you go to Breetai for help?"
"Apparently he's one of the 'Chippendales'."
"Dolza?"
"Refuses to take my calls. Something about the phone number no longer being in service."
"Ouch."
"Yes, painful indeed. Soooooo...what do we do, Khyron?"
"Do? My dear Azonia, we sit on this beach, drink ourselves blind and senseless, all the while bemoaning that we're the only rational sane people in this insane universe, and at some point tonight we jettison our inhibitions and have wild sex with each other."
"Sounds like a plan."
"To diminished mental capacity."
"To this crazy nonsensical universe we find ourselves stuck in."
(clink of glasses)

In mid ... you know, Khyron and Azonia are interrupted by a static crackle and Khyron, to his horror, remembers that he left Sammie in the Command Bubble with a microphone and access to the ship's intercom system.

Khyron & Azonia: (Together) "OH (CENSORED)!"

Meanwhile, at the 2018 Robotech Games:

The athletes of the surviving countries eager wait, cauldron waits to be lit in front of thousands of micronians and full-sized Zentraedi, and a viewing audience of millions...Lynn Minmei is poised to sing...
...and in a streak of light and screaming, Lynn Kyle, on fire, runs into the stadium, around the track, then up the stairs to the only available fire extinguisher, incidentally running ACROSS the cauldron, which lights up with a FWOOSH of bright flame.

And there is much rejoicing.

[taalismn]

"In the field and track venue today at the Games we'll be seeing truck throwing, cannon marksmanship, synchronized tumbling, and later today in the orbital venue we'll see the ever suspenseful Suitless Hull Dash."

[Arnie100]

"Men's basketball featuring the micronians in Valkyries vs. Breetai's full-sized Zentran!"
"Also, stay tuned for women's volleyball, micronian and Meltran-sized categories!"

[SRoss]

"Men's basketball featuring the micronians in Valkyries vs. Breetai's full-sized Zentran!"
"Also, stay tuned for women's volleyball, micronian and Meltran-sized categories!"

At the Destroid hanger an MP inspects the ID badge of a UEDF Colonel. The name says Freelie, I.P., the MP salutes and lets him through. The Colonel goes to the duty officer.

"Major! I need a squad of Water Spout Destroids for a special mission at the volleyball field."

[taalismn]

"Men's basketball featuring the micronians in Valkyries vs. Breetai's full-sized Zentran!"
"Also, stay tuned for women's volleyball, micronian and Meltran-sized categories!"

"All right, who's the WIT who explained to the Meltraedi that classic human athletes historically compete NUDE?!"

[Arnie100]

"Men's basketball featuring the micronians in Valkyries vs. Breetai's full-sized Zentran!"
"Also, stay tuned for women's volleyball, micronian and Meltran-sized categories!"

"All right, who's the WIT who explained to the Meltraedi that classic human athletes historically compete NUDE?!"

"Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time!"

"Also in today's game: synchronized swimming! Micronian and Meltran-sized categories!"

[taalismn]

"What do you mean, I'm not allowed to use my destroid in the weightlifting competition?!"
"I'm sorry, sir, no mechanized assistance is allowed."
"But that favors the Zemtraedi!"
"Sir, it's a competition of biology and technique, not engineering. No doping, no mecha."
"THAT'S BIASED! THAT'S SPECIST! Mark my words, you haven't heard the last of this or my name isn't Anatole Leonard!"

[Arnie100]

"That's just not FAIR!"
"I'm sorry, Supreme Commander, but those are the RULES!"
(In a dark corner)
<<It has been done, Awareness!>>
Awareness: <<MUAHAHAHAHA!>>

[Alpha 11]

"In the field and track venue today at the Games we'll be seeing truck throwing, cannon marksmanship, synchronized tumbling, and later today in the orbital venue we'll see the ever suspenseful Suitless Hull Dash."

Well, since someone else started it, and since it's in the spirit of the "season"...

New and Old Categories in the Olympics:
Orbital Diving: Full Sized and Micronian Categories.

Solar Sculling: Micronian Category Only

Marianas Trench Diving: Full Sized Category Only

Mountain Climbing: Full Sized and Micronian Categories

Decommissioned Armored Fighting Vehicle Toss: Full Sized Only

Karate, Judo, Taekwondo, Mixed Martial Arts Competitions: Full Sized, Micronian, and Combination Categories (THE RETURN OF MECHA SU DAI!!!)

Classic Track and Field Competition (Sprints, Relays, Pole Vaults, Javelins, Shot Put, Long Jump, High Jump): Full Sized and Micronian Categories

Archery: Classically Micronian, but a late entry has three additional contestants in the Full Sized Category!!! (20' tall bows!!! Suck it Robin Hood!)

Anything else?!?!

MECHA SU DAI, that brings back great memories of a great book. One of the best ones IMO.(And yes I have it.)

"Men's basketball featuring the micronians in Valkyries vs. Breetai's full-sized Zentran!"
"Also, stay tuned for women's volleyball, micronian and Meltran-sized categories!"

Cool!

"Men's basketball featuring the micronians in Valkyries vs. Breetai's full-sized Zentran!"
"Also, stay tuned for women's volleyball, micronian and Meltran-sized categories!"

At the Destroid hanger an MP inspects the ID badge of a UEDF Colonel. The name says Freelie, I.P., the MP salutes and lets him through. The Colonel goes to the duty officer.

"Major! I need a squad of Water Spout Destroids for a special mission at the volleyball field."

"Men's basketball featuring the micronians in Valkyries vs. Breetai's full-sized Zentran!"
"Also, stay tuned for women's volleyball, micronian and Meltran-sized categories!"

"All right, who's the WIT who explained to the Meltraedi that classic human athletes historically compete NUDE?!"

"Men's basketball featuring the micronians in Valkyries vs. Breetai's full-sized Zentran!"
"Also, stay tuned for women's volleyball, micronian and Meltran-sized categories!"

"All right, who's the WIT who explained to the Meltraedi that classic human athletes historically compete NUDE?!"

"Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time!"

"Also in today's game: synchronized swimming! Micronian and Meltran-sized categories!"

"What do you mean, I'm not allowed to use my destroid in the weightlifting competition?!"
"I'm sorry, sir, no mechanized assistance is allowed."
"But that favors the Zemtraedi!"
"Sir, it's a competition of biology and technique, not engineering. No doping, no mecha."
"THAT'S BIASED! THAT'S SPECIST! Mark my words, you haven't heard the last of this or my name isn't Anatole Leonard!"

"That's just not FAIR!"
"I'm sorry, Supreme Commander, but those are the RULES!"
(In a dark corner)
<<It has been done, Awareness!>>
Awareness: <<MUAHAHAHAHA!>>

[taalismn]

"We of the IOC may have to make a policy judgement as to what constitutes an unfair and unatural advantage."
"Indeed? On what?"
"The Tirolians have entered triumvirate members in every one of the synchronized events. I'm seeing the same faces and names show up with disturbing regularity, and yet they're all different people...or so the Tirolians claim. I'm especially suspicious of the 'Vada Primes'."
"We ban them, then we have to ban the Invid; they're a group mind, remember?"
"Argubaly their royal class are individuals."
"And Zentraedi are genetically engineered."
"Gotta put down the law somewhere, or else we'll have a genetic athlete arms race. I miss the days of blood transfusions and doping."
"At least we permit only the Invid to partake of Flower of Life. To anybody else, it's narcotics."

[SRoss]

"No Mr. Leonard, the Invid weight lifter isn't using a mecha, THAT's it's body..."

[taalismn]

"Despite having no arms and definitely having the antipathy of ....well, just about everybody else here, the Haydonites have come on strong in volleyball by using their heads!"
"And that's not a pun, folks! We've seen some incredibly coordinated head bouncing here! And their aerial footwork, so to speak, is incredible!"
"They've already knocked the favored Praxian team out of the running, but they're facing the all-female Royal Invid team next! There's some SERIOUS bad blood there! Enough that stadium security has brought some of those heavy weapons posted outside to insure the security of the games INSIDE, just in case!"

[SRoss]

"Despite having no arms and definitely having the antipathy of ....well, just about everybody else here, the Haydonites have come on strong in volleyball by using their heads!"
"And that's not a pun, folks! We've seen some incredibly coordinated head bouncing here! And their aerial footwork, so to speak, is incredible!"
"They've already knocked the favored Praxian team out of the running, but they're facing the all-female Royal Invid team next! There's some SERIOUS bad blood there! Enough that stadium security has brought some of those heavy weapons posted outside to insure the security of the games INSIDE, just in case!"

"Ummm... We need a ruling here. Are the Invid allowed to use teleporting when spiking the ball?"

Veidt: (After attempting to headbutt a ball spiked from orbit) "It's...fffzzz...not...fffzzz...FAIR!!"

"For that matter, do the Haydonites actually count as female?"

[taalismn]

"Yes,yes they are allowed to use teleporting."
"And the IOC has handed down its ruling that officially the Invid are allowed to teleport in the game."
"IN! YOUR! FACE!"
"Andddddd it looks like the Invid team captain is trying to medal in trash talking!"
"Trash talking was tried as an exhibition sport back in the 2006 Games. Never adopted though as medal sport."

[SRoss]

"Yes,yes they are allowed to use teleporting."
"And the IOC has handed down its ruling that officially the Invid are allowed to teleport in the game."
"IN! YOUR! FACE!"
"Andddddd it looks like the Invid team captain is trying to medal in trash talking!"
"Trash talking was tried as an exhibition sport back in the 2006 Games. Never adopted though as medal sport."

And in stunning example of rubbing it in their face plates, here come Sara and Arial leading a group of Invid Scouts and Troopers in a rousing performance of Motteke sailor fuku.

One has to wonder where they found pom-poms in that size.

[taalismn]

"And why would you say that Terran-Humans have an advantage in the water sports?"
"Because our swimmers train with our Navy, swimming in rough water, in full armor, with full packs on their backs. And then there's the sharks. None of the other species have that."
"Does that regimen include your Zentraedi members?"
"No...they swim with orcas. And giant squid."

[SRoss]

"And why would you say that Terran-Humans have an advantage in the water sports?"
"Because our swimmers train with our Navy, swimming in rough water, in full armor, with full packs on their backs. And then there's the sharks. None of the other species have that."
"Does that regimen include your Zentraedi members?"
"No...they swim with orcas. And giant squid."

"Sir, we may have a problem. The Regis just locked herself in the Genesis Pit with a bunch of Chinese swimmers."

[taalismn]

"Okay, who's the GENIUS who scheduled the skeet shooting competition directly adjacent to the discus throw?"

[glitterboy2098]

"sorry sir, but if you wish to use your Defender destroid for the Augmented skeet shooting event, i am afraid you will be required to disable your anti-air radar system and rely on your secondary systems. we had to disallow the Invid 'mortar scout' due to the same restrictions."


"......----.-.-.-.-.-...----..."
"i'm sorry you think the targets in the augmented skeet shooting looking like invid scouts is insulting. we'd originally ordered targets shaped like haydonite wraiths, but then we found out the haydonites were planning on sneaking in actual wraiths to skew the event in their favor, so we had to resort to what we could find locally.'
"........----..-......-....-...-...-**"
"hey now, just because your encased in several tons of bio-armor doesn't give you the right to use such language. really, with a mouth like that, its a wonder the regis ever evolved you into a trooper..."

[taalismn]

"We're grateful to Tirolian Gravitic Motors for their last minute donation of several hundred Bioroid Hoverplatforms for use as disposable skeets..."

"We have a new problem...several hundred Tirolian Bioroid Pilots who are going to have to WALK home."

[Arnie100]

"We're grateful to Tirolian Gravitic Motors for their last minute donation of several hundred Bioroid Hoverplatforms for use as disposable skeets..."

"We have a new problem...several hundred Tirolian Bioroid Pilots who are going to have to WALK home."

(Hangar bay, Tirolian Mothership)

Bioroid Pilot #1: "So, have you been watching that skeet shooting event between the Micronians and the Zentran?"
Bioroid Pilot #2: "Oh, yes! Very exciting! It was rather odd, though..."
Bioroid Pilot #1: "Why is that?"
Bioroid Pilot #2: "One of them looked like -- hey, what the...! My hover platform's gone!"
Bioroid Pilot #1: "Mine, too! Aaaww, cr@p!!"

[taalismn]

Field Marshal Leonard: "Gentlemen, I am shocked, yes, SHOCKED, to learn that our Olympic team's uniforms were all made by cheap Tirolian clone labor! The UEG Congress is demanding a full investigation and has already issued a scathing reprimand to our committee!"

[Arnie100]

Field Marshal Leonard: "Gentlemen, I am shocked, yes, SHOCKED, to learn that our Olympic team's uniforms were all made by cheap Tirolian clone labor! The UEG Congress is demanding a full investigation and has already issued a scathing reprimand to our committee!"

"But, Sir, YOU'RE in charge of the committee!"

[taalismn]

"I assure you, Regent, that the incident with the Zentreadi javelin thrower was purely an accident."
Invid Regent: "Flaming asteroid b#######! That bastard was AIMING for me!!!!"

[Arnie100]

"Now which of you nitwits put the target behind the Invid Regent?"
"Well..."
"And you MISSED?"

[taalismn]

#"Chiropractor to the Wrestling Venue. Chiropractor to the Wrestling Venue. "#
"Praxians again?"
"Praxians again."
"Which poor sod is it this time?"
"Tirolian woman. Must have figured their ancestral links to traditional Greco-Roman culture and genetically engineered flexibility would give them an edge. Instead she got tied in a double bow tie."
"Ouch."

[SRoss]

"We're grateful to Tirolian Gravitic Motors for their last minute donation of several hundred Bioroid Hoverplatforms for use as disposable skeets..."

"We have a new problem...several hundred Tirolian Bioroid Pilots who are going to have to WALK home."

(Hangar bay, Tirolian Mothership)

Bioroid Pilot #1: "So, have you been watching that skeet shooting event between the Micronians and the Zentran?"
Bioroid Pilot #2: "Oh, yes! Very exciting! It was rather odd, though..."
Bioroid Pilot #1: "Why is that?"
Bioroid Pilot #2: "One of them looked like -- hey, what the...! My hover platform's gone!"
Bioroid Pilot #1: "Mine, too! Aaaww, cr@p!!"

They turn in unison their compatriot.

Bioroid Pilot #3: "Guys, honestly, it wasn't my idea."

[SRoss]

In Olympic Yodeling.

Gerao vs an E.B.S.I.S. Soldier battloid.

Proof of Gerao's deviancy