Robotech Blooper Reels

[SRoss]

Later that night...

Angelo: "Remember Zor, what happens in the cave, STAYS in the cave..."

[taalismn]

"Angelo, we could have gotten a ride back with those people!"
"Zor, they were playing 'Dueling Banjos' on their car radio. Don't you know what that MEANS?!"

[Arnie100]

(Later that night...Prison Block, GMP HQ)

Dante: (Still naked and wearing leaves) "I TOLD you not to stop in front of a car, waving for help!"
Zor: (Also naked and wearing leaves) "How did I know it was going to be a GMP patrol unit!? They could have at least given us some clothes..."

(Desk Sergeant's office)

Desk Sergeant: "Yes, ma'am...we picked up those two sexual deviants you said tried to harrass you. Don't worry, ma'am, I know just where to put 'em! Guard! Put those two deviants in with Whately!"

(Officer's Quarters)

Dana: "No one ditches a Sterling...NO ONE." (Slams the phone down)

[taalismn]

"Told you, Zor, we should have gone with the 'Secret Moose Lodge Initiation Ritual Hazing' excuse."
"Dana Sterling has filed false charges against us! The fix was already in!"
"Oh, right. Her word against ours, even with her longer criminal record."
"Dana Sterling, as you have sown, so shall you reap! I shall have my revenge such that you'll wish I HAD blown you up in the day!"
"Zor, you what, only broke even back then?"
"Well, now I'm MOTIVATED!!!"
"She has Anime Female character shielding! We CAN'T get even!"
"Angelo, I am NOT spending another night holding it just because some 'Le Blue Girl'-obsessed eldritch abomination can't tell the difference between genders!"
"True. I'm getting sick and tired of 'Dueling Banjos' playing from the next cell over, too."

[Arnie100]

(Prison Cell, GMP HQ)

Dante: "Guards!! The TENTACLES!!!"
Zor: "Please...!" (Desperately clanging on the bars)

(Desk Sergeant's office)

Desk Sergeant: "Not again...I swear I'm gonna retire."
Guard #1: "Will you two pipe down? The other prisoners are trying to get some sleep!"
Guard #2: "I didn't hear anything..."
Desk Sergeant: "Good for you. Now go and get me some coffee with something extra strong in it."

[taalismn]

Almost feel sorry for Wilbur....Celebrity smiled on him and it was too much....All that publicity, women he didn't have to chase down, fashionista paparazzi hounding him, and he almost immediately turned to drugs...and ended up back in the slammer.

"Hold the lid down, Angelo!"
"I'm trying! God, but I am TRYING!"
"I've almost got the light socket screwed open and wired! Just a minute or so more!"

[Alpha 11]

"Bye-bye, Angelo!"(vrooommm)
"Great, left out in the middle of nowhere, stark naked, miles from civilization. Yeah, Dana's in a %*&&&&&& bad mood."
"Not the words I'd use, but accurate none the less."
"WH-. ZOR?! What....okay, I see...boy do I ever see...What did YOU do to diss her? And why now?"
"I imagine because of my percieved indiscretions with Nova Satori. And I imagine the now because something else snapped her resolve and she's settling old scores by the basketload."
"Great. So...I guess we try to flag down a ride back to Monument."
"I am...reluctant now to try that."
"Why? You want to WALK all the way back?"
"No, because who's going to stop to pick up two naked men on a road in the middle of nowhere?"
"...right....you know, it's not a bad night for a late night run. Cool, even brisk!"
"It's supposed to drop below freezing tonight. Frost predicted."
"Right! Wilderness survival training practice! Zor, start looking for some bushes...something with suitably large leaves."

Later that night...

Angelo: "Remember Zor, what happens in the cave, STAYS in the cave..."

"Angelo, we could have gotten a ride back with those people!"
"Zor, they were playing 'Dueling Banjos' on their car radio. Don't you know what that MEANS?!"

(Later that night...Prison Block, GMP HQ)

Dante: (Still naked and wearing leaves) "I TOLD you not to stop in front of a car, waving for help!"
Zor: (Also naked and wearing leaves) "How did I know it was going to be a GMP patrol unit!? They could have at least given us some clothes..."

(Desk Sergeant's office)

Desk Sergeant: "Yes, ma'am...we picked up those two sexual deviants you said tried to harrass you. Don't worry, ma'am, I know just where to put 'em! Guard! Put those two deviants in with Whately!"

(Officer's Quarters)

Dana: "No one ditches a Sterling...NO ONE." (Slams the phone down)

"Told you, Zor, we should have gone with the 'Secret Moose Lodge Initiation Ritual Hazing' excuse."
"Dana Sterling has filed false charges against us! The fix was already in!"
"Oh, right. Her word against ours, even with her longer criminal record."
"Dana Sterling, as you have sown, so shall you reap! I shall have my revenge such that you'll wish I HAD blown you up in the day!"
"Zor, you what, only broke even back then?"
"Well, now I'm MOTIVATED!!!"
"She has Anime Female character shielding! We CAN'T get even!"
"Angelo, I am NOT spending another night holding it just because some 'Le Blue Girl'-obsessed eldritch abomination can't tell the difference between genders!"
"True. I'm getting sick and tired of 'Dueling Banjos' playing from the next cell over, too."

(Prison Cell, GMP HQ)

Dante: "Guards!! The TENTACLES!!!"
Zor: "Please...!" (Desperately clanging on the bars)

(Desk Sergeant's office)

Desk Sergeant: "Not again...I swear I'm gonna retire."
Guard #1: "Will you two pipe down? The other prisoners are trying to get some sleep!"
Guard #2: "I didn't hear anything..."
Desk Sergeant: "Good for you. Now go and get me some coffee with something extra strong in it."

Almost feel sorry for Wilbur....Celebrity smiled on him and it was too much....All that publicity, women he didn't have to chase down, fashionista paparazzi hounding him, and he almost immediately turned to drugs...and ended up back in the slammer.

"Hold the lid down, Angelo!"
"I'm trying! God, but I am TRYING!"
"I've almost got the light socket screwed open and wired! Just a minute or so more!"

[SRoss]

Almost feel sorry for Wilbur....Celebrity smiled on him and it was too much....All that publicity, women he didn't have to chase down, fashionista paparazzi hounding him, and he almost immediately turned to drugs...and ended up back in the slammer.

"Hold the lid down, Angelo!"
"I'm trying! God, but I am TRYING!"
"I've almost got the light socket screwed open and wired! Just a minute or so more!"

*50 THOUSAND GIGAWATTS OF RAW NAKED POWER!!!*

As a massive electrical surge blacks out the city, two GMP Robots confront a lone figure outside the substation.

GMP Robot #1: "YOU AGAIN!!!"

Lynn Kyle: (Cringing) "ISWARETOGOD! I was just walking by!!!"

GMP Robot #2: "Activate BEAT DOWN mode!"

[taalismn]

"...*koff*...It's not the voltage...it's the (sputter)...amperage..."
"Zor...I saw your bones GLOW..."
"...I had that impression, yes..."
"And I think you hit the highest pure note I've ever heard..."
"That would...*rasp*...explain the sore throat...BUT DID IT HAVE THE DESIRED EFFECT?!"
"Yeah, water CONDUCTS. They moved tentacle-boy via ambulance back to Miskatonic. He was smoking."
"I thought EMTs discouraged tobacco."
"No, I mean he was SMOKING. As in slow combustion."
"Oh...and -I- didn't get an ambulance?"
"No. Something the guards saying about it was 'just like Christmas'."
"Oh yes...my Christmas 'physical'."(shiver)
"One of them wants to know if you do Halloween displays."

[Arnie100]

Guard #1: "Alright; you deviants, it's your lucky night! Your C.O. just bailed you out. Now get out of my cell!!"
Dante: "YES!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!"
*CLICK*
Zor: "Uhhhhh...Angelo?"
Dante: "What, Zor? We're outta -- (Suddenly sees Dana with a very big gun) OH, NO..."
Dana: "That's right...I'm not done with you...YET! I've STILL got plans for you two! No one ditches a STERLING!! NO ONE!!!"

[taalismn]

Guard #1: "Alright; you deviants, it's your lucky night! Your C.O. just bailed you out. Now get out of my cell!!"
Dante: "YES!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!"
*CLICK*
Zor: "Uhhhhh...Angelo?"
Dante: "What, Zor? We're outta -- (Suddenly sees Dana with a very big gun) OH, NO..."
Dana: "That's right...I'm not done with you...YET! I've STILL got plans for you two! No one ditches a STERLING!! NO ONE!!!"

" It all makes sense now! Zor, if we pass a convenience store or a drug store, we make a break for it. We hit the places for Midol and chocolate, everything they got. Heating pads too. If she shoots one of us, the other continues the mission and returns to distract her with the emergency supplies."
"And how do we pay for this? And why?"
"Once a month this happens. The 15th has an emergency tab for these occasions. This is known to store clerks in the area. They will cooperate. Also, the gunnery range opens its schedule IMMEDIATELY to Dana. And Nova makes herself scarce."
"!? THat...all sounds extreme."
"Dana's mother is Miriya Sterling. PARINO Sterling. The 'Sterling Protocols' date to the days she lived around here."

[Arnie100]

*RingRing*

Bowie: "15th ATAC. This is Bowie speaking!"
Dante: "Bowie!!! Sterling Protocols are now in effect! (Phone hangs up) Bowie??"
Dana: "Hah! You're 'Sterling Protocols' are USELESS!! You think I; a STERLING, wouldn't find out about things like that!?"
Zor: "Dante? What do we do now??"
Dante: (Suddenly points at Zor and drops to his knees) "It was all Zor's idea! I would never do such a thing to you! He forced me to go see that terrible movie!"
Zor: "Wha??"

[taalismn]

*RingRing*

Bowie: "15th ATAC. This is Bowie speaking!"
Dante: "Bowie!!! Sterling Protocols are now in effect! (Phone hangs up) Bowie??"
Dana: "Hah! You're 'Sterling Protocols' are USELESS!! You think I; a STERLING, wouldn't find out about things like that!?"
Zor: "Dante? What do we do now??"
Dante: (Suddenly points at Zor and drops to his knees) "It was all Zor's idea! I would never do such a thing to you! He forced me to go see that terrible movie!"
Zor: "Wha??"

Zor: "You Russian Commie bastard.....throwing me to the wolves!"
Dante: "I'm ITALIAN! It's MACHIAVELLIAN! Wait, wait, wait...moment of sanity here! Flashback scene...."
(scene wavers into the now-familiar episode...it then wavers back)
Dante: "So you see it's STILL Zor's fault! He stood you up! You grabbed ME as a spite-date because I was ready to give you the I-told-you-so.AND you picked the movie!"
Dana: "You made a scene at the movie. You humiliated me."
Dante: "PTSD. It happens. I claim temporary insanity. So you have only yourself to blame. Or rather Zor."
Dana: "I'm not sleeping with you."
Dante: "No, you're not. Ask yourself...who just compared you to wolves? ZOR."
Dana: "Zor's not here. You are."
Dante: "Cowardly little bastard slipped away during the flashback! So now you WANT me to comfort you?"
Dana: "Yes, I just want you to stand still while I pistol-whip you."

[Arnie100]

Dante: "Me? Why me!?"
Dana: "YOU'RE here. Zor isn't."
Dante: "I'll make it up to you! I SWEAR I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT!! Just don't hurt me..."
Dana: "Where have I heard THAT before?"

[taalismn]

Dante: "Me? Why me!?"
Dana: "YOU'RE here. Zor isn't."
Dante: "I'll make it up to you! I SWEAR I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT!! Just don't hurt me..."
Dana: "Where have I heard THAT before?"

Dana: "Just suck it up and take it like a man!"
*WHAM*

"..."
(THUD)
"Honey, you really got to get over this chivalry' thing about defending yourself against your old commanding officer. I thought we'd gotten past that."
"Gnea, dear, not that I'm complaining, but how'd you find me?"
(lowering naginata)"Bowie Grant heard you get cut off abruptly. He knew you wouldn't call him on his honeymoon without a DIRE reason, so he called me at work at the Praxian Embassy and gave me a triangulation from the phone you used and I took the direct path. Amazing how many speeding laws are negated simply by mentioning these 'Sterling Protocols'."
"Yeah, saved a lot of inadvertent bloodshed back in the day, And tonight."
"So, I don't feel like returning back to paperwork, so what do you say we just start an early weekend and make for the hills? Make-up for not hearing about your night in jail? After we sling her in the dumpster?"
"Sounds great, but ex-nay on tossing the el-tee in the dumpster."
"The canal then?"
"No, just dump her back at the barracks. Zor was talking up some payback scheme of his own."

[Alpha 11]

Almost feel sorry for Wilbur....Celebrity smiled on him and it was too much....All that publicity, women he didn't have to chase down, fashionista paparazzi hounding him, and he almost immediately turned to drugs...and ended up back in the slammer.

"Hold the lid down, Angelo!"
"I'm trying! God, but I am TRYING!"
"I've almost got the light socket screwed open and wired! Just a minute or so more!"

*50 THOUSAND GIGAWATTS OF RAW NAKED POWER!!!*

As a massive electrical surge blacks out the city, two GMP Robots confront a lone figure outside the substation.

GMP Robot #1: "YOU AGAIN!!!"

Lynn Kyle: (Cringing) "ISWARETOGOD! I was just walking by!!!"

GMP Robot #2: "Activate BEAT DOWN mode!"

"...*koff*...It's not the voltage...it's the (sputter)...amperage..."
"Zor...I saw your bones GLOW..."
"...I had that impression, yes..."
"And I think you hit the highest pure note I've ever heard..."
"That would...*rasp*...explain the sore throat...BUT DID IT HAVE THE DESIRED EFFECT?!"
"Yeah, water CONDUCTS. They moved tentacle-boy via ambulance back to Miskatonic. He was smoking."
"I thought EMTs discouraged tobacco."
"No, I mean he was SMOKING. As in slow combustion."
"Oh...and -I- didn't get an ambulance?"
"No. Something the guards saying about it was 'just like Christmas'."
"Oh yes...my Christmas 'physical'."(shiver)
"One of them wants to know if you do Halloween displays."

Guard #1: "Alright; you deviants, it's your lucky night! Your C.O. just bailed you out. Now get out of my cell!!"
Dante: "YES!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!"
*CLICK*
Zor: "Uhhhhh...Angelo?"
Dante: "What, Zor? We're outta -- (Suddenly sees Dana with a very big gun) OH, NO..."
Dana: "That's right...I'm not done with you...YET! I've STILL got plans for you two! No one ditches a STERLING!! NO ONE!!!"

Guard #1: "Alright; you deviants, it's your lucky night! Your C.O. just bailed you out. Now get out of my cell!!"
Dante: "YES!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!"
*CLICK*
Zor: "Uhhhhh...Angelo?"
Dante: "What, Zor? We're outta -- (Suddenly sees Dana with a very big gun) OH, NO..."
Dana: "That's right...I'm not done with you...YET! I've STILL got plans for you two! No one ditches a STERLING!! NO ONE!!!"

" It all makes sense now! Zor, if we pass a convenience store or a drug store, we make a break for it. We hit the places for Midol and chocolate, everything they got. Heating pads too. If she shoots one of us, the other continues the mission and returns to distract her with the emergency supplies."
"And how do we pay for this? And why?"
"Once a month this happens. The 15th has an emergency tab for these occasions. This is known to store clerks in the area. They will cooperate. Also, the gunnery range opens its schedule IMMEDIATELY to Dana. And Nova makes herself scarce."
"!? THat...all sounds extreme."
"Dana's mother is Miriya Sterling. PARINO Sterling. The 'Sterling Protocols' date to the days she lived around here."

*RingRing*

Bowie: "15th ATAC. This is Bowie speaking!"
Dante: "Bowie!!! Sterling Protocols are now in effect! (Phone hangs up) Bowie??"
Dana: "Hah! You're 'Sterling Protocols' are USELESS!! You think I; a STERLING, wouldn't find out about things like that!?"
Zor: "Dante? What do we do now??"
Dante: (Suddenly points at Zor and drops to his knees) "It was all Zor's idea! I would never do such a thing to you! He forced me to go see that terrible movie!"
Zor: "Wha??"

*RingRing*

Bowie: "15th ATAC. This is Bowie speaking!"
Dante: "Bowie!!! Sterling Protocols are now in effect! (Phone hangs up) Bowie??"
Dana: "Hah! You're 'Sterling Protocols' are USELESS!! You think I; a STERLING, wouldn't find out about things like that!?"
Zor: "Dante? What do we do now??"
Dante: (Suddenly points at Zor and drops to his knees) "It was all Zor's idea! I would never do such a thing to you! He forced me to go see that terrible movie!"
Zor: "Wha??"

Zor: "You Russian Commie bastard.....throwing me to the wolves!"
Dante: "I'm ITALIAN! It's MACHIAVELLIAN! Wait, wait, wait...moment of sanity here! Flashback scene...."
(scene wavers into the now-familiar episode...it then wavers back)
Dante: "So you see it's STILL Zor's fault! He stood you up! You grabbed ME as a spite-date because I was ready to give you the I-told-you-so.AND you picked the movie!"
Dana: "You made a scene at the movie. You humiliated me."
Dante: "PTSD. It happens. I claim temporary insanity. So you have only yourself to blame. Or rather Zor."
Dana: "I'm not sleeping with you."
Dante: "No, you're not. Ask yourself...who just compared you to wolves? ZOR."
Dana: "Zor's not here. You are."
Dante: "Cowardly little bastard slipped away during the flashback! So now you WANT me to comfort you?"
Dana: "Yes, I just want you to stand still while I pistol-whip you."

Dante: "Me? Why me!?"
Dana: "YOU'RE here. Zor isn't."
Dante: "I'll make it up to you! I SWEAR I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT!! Just don't hurt me..."
Dana: "Where have I heard THAT before?"

Dante: "Me? Why me!?"
Dana: "YOU'RE here. Zor isn't."
Dante: "I'll make it up to you! I SWEAR I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT!! Just don't hurt me..."
Dana: "Where have I heard THAT before?"

Dana: "Just suck it up and take it like a man!"
*WHAM*

"..."
(THUD)
"Honey, you really got to get over this chivalry' thing about defending yourself against your old commanding officer. I thought we'd gotten past that."
"Gnea, dear, not that I'm complaining, but how'd you find me?"
(lowering naginata)"Bowie Grant heard you get cut off abruptly. He knew you wouldn't call him on his honeymoon without a DIRE reason, so he called me at work at the Praxian Embassy and gave me a triangulation from the phone you used and I took the direct path. Amazing how many speeding laws are negated simply by mentioning these 'Sterling Protocols'."
"Yeah, saved a lot of inadvertent bloodshed back in the day, And tonight."
"So, I don't feel like returning back to paperwork, so what do you say we just start an early weekend and make for the hills? Make-up for not hearing about your night in jail? After we sling her in the dumpster?"
"Sounds great, but ex-nay on tossing the el-tee in the dumpster."
"The canal then?"
"No, just dump her back at the barracks. Zor was talking up some playback scheme of his own."

[Arnie100]

Voice: "NOT SO FAST!!!"
Dante: (Turns in the direction of the voice and sees a full-sized MIRIYA in her QUADRONO power armor, looking extremely pissed off) "OH, NO!"
Miriya: "Dante, you ditched my daughter for the last time!"
Gnea: "Honey, what did you do to **** HER off!?"
Dante: "I DON'T KNOW!!"
Gnea: "Honey, you're on your own!"
Dante: "But...you SAVED me from Dana!"
Gnea: "THAT was from Dana! NOT her mother! IF you make it out from this one...you and I are going to have a long talk!"
Dante: "Oh, Lord...I'd rather be back in the cell with Whately!"
Dana: "Ohhh, my head. OK, Mom, what do we do with the weasel?"
Miriya: "I'm sure we'll think of something!"
Dante: "I swear I'll never watch a movie with tentacles again!"

[taalismn]

Dante:(Turns towards the 4th Wall)"See, this is what happens when you try to be reasonable? When you point out flaws in somebody's reasoning? When you deal with people who just want to kill something? When the safeguards meant to take care of people with issues break down because the people they're meant to help don't WANT to be helped? Dana Sterling could have called a lawyer and sued the makers of a certain soda. She could be blowing up their factory and get let out on a provocation defense. She could be at home enjoying a pile of chocolates and a warm foot massage. She could be in her room at the barracks tucked into bed snoozing peacefully away. Instead, my girlfriend bailed on me, I have a court date for something that wasn't my fault, I have calamari-trauma, and I'm about to get screwed over with an Itano Missile Massacre as part of a mother-daughter bonding ritual. Why? Because some people will not LET GO of trivial things! Because people refuse to see reason!! And because this gag sucks."
(turns back to Dana and Miriya)"Oh, just get it over with."

[Arnie100]

Dana: "We never said anything about killing you!"
Miriya: "Oh, no, no, no...we're much too civilized for that!"
Dante: "OhTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!"
Dana: "Just put this on..."
Dante: "What's this!?" (Puts on costume)
Miriya: "Oh, Annie! Look what we found for you!"
Dante:

[SRoss]

Deep within a hidden vault, Zor thanks his stars for Dante's well-timed flashback.

#SLAM!!!#

Zor: (turning and seeing Dante in a torn and tattered bunny suit) "What!?! How!?!"

Dante: (in one move, rapidly superglueing a set of cat ears to Zor's head) "I'm married to a Praxian. Believe me, I KNOW how to wrestle. As to finding you, Gnea is an excellent tracker. once tricked Annie with the Pollinator, I gave her a call and she found you in no time flat."

Zor: "What are you going to do no?"

Dante: (Smiling) "Oh, Its not what I'M going to do..." (turning toward the doorway) "He's in here girls!"

Suddenly, a QUADRONO armour tears the roof off the building, and Zor finds himself facing Miriya, Dana, Maya, Annie and Nova.

Dante: (Climbing on to the back of Gnea's Pegasus) "Oh, by the way Zor, if anyone is looking for me I'll be away for the weekend. Bye!"

The girls turn back to Zor as Dante and Gnea fly off.

Zor:

Meanwhile.

Gnea: "Oh, by the way, we're keeping the costume."

Dante:

[taalismn]

Fredericks: "You were noticeably absent during that entire...affair...Lieutenant Satori."
Nova: "It wasn't an affair, it was a fracas...and no, I figured if I leaned back and gave Sterling enough leeway, she'd eventually turn on her teammates...who are more than able to deal with her...eccentricities...than the GMP is. So, minimal investment of time and effort on our part, ultimately beneficial result."
Fredericks: "Very cunning of you."
Nova: "Thanks. So how are the treating you in here?"
Fredericks: "That harassment charge was a frame! I NEVER came NEAR that woman!"

[SRoss]

Nova: "So, that's not Sean's Rapeman costume they found you wearing?"

[taalismn]

Breetai:(lounging on sofa at home watching Dancing With the Stars) "I have a feeling, tonight, that I dodged getting caught up in inane shennanigans."
Kazianna Hesh:(leaning over his shoulder) "How about some OTHER shennanigans?"
Breetai:(raising one eyebrow---the left one---appreciably as he takes in what Kazianna's 'wearing') "To THOSE, my dear, I have no objections."

[Alpha 11]

Voice: "NOT SO FAST!!!"
Dante: (Turns in the direction of the voice and sees a full-sized MIRIYA in her QUADRONO power armor, looking extremely pissed off) "OH, NO!"
Miriya: "Dante, you ditched my daughter for the last time!"
Gnea: "Honey, what did you do to **** HER off!?"
Dante: "I DON'T KNOW!!"
Gnea: "Honey, you're on your own!"
Dante: "But...you SAVED me from Dana!"
Gnea: "THAT was from Dana! NOT her mother! IF you make it out from this one...you and I are going to have a long talk!"
Dante: "Oh, Lord...I'd rather be back in the cell with Whately!"
Dana: "Ohhh, my head. OK, Mom, what do we do with the weasel?"
Miriya: "I'm sure we'll think of something!"
Dante: "I swear I'll never watch a movie with tentacles again!"

Dante:(Turns towards the 4th Wall)"See, this is what happens when you try to be reasonable? When you point out flaws in somebody's reasoning? When you deal with people who just want to kill something? When the safeguards meant to take care of people with issues break down because the people they're meant to help don't WANT to be helped? Dana Sterling could have called a lawyer and sued the makers of a certain soda. She could be blowing up their factory and get let out on a provocation defense. She could be at home enjoying a pile of chocolates and a warm foot massage. She could be in her room at the barracks tucked into bed snoozing peacefully away. Instead, my girlfriend bailed on me, I have a court date for something that wasn't my fault, I have calamari-trauma, and I'm about to get screwed over with an Itano Missile Massacre as part of a mother-daughter bonding ritual. Why? Because some people will not LET GO of trivial things! Because people refuse to see reason!! And because this gag sucks."
(turns back to Dana and Miriya)"Oh, just get it over with."

Dana: "We never said anything about killing you!"
Miriya: "Oh, no, no, no...we're much too civilized for that!"
Dante: "OhTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!"
Dana: "Just put this on..."
Dante: "What's this!?" (Puts on costume)
Miriya: "Oh, Annie! Look what we found for you!"
Dante:

Deep within a hidden vault, Zor thanks his stars for Dante's well-timed flashback.

#SLAM!!!#

Zor: (turning and seeing Dante in a torn and tattered bunny suit) "What!?! How!?!"

Dante: (in one move, rapidly superglueing a set of cat ears to Zor's head) "I'm married to a Praxian. Believe me, I KNOW how to wrestle. As to finding you, Gnea is an excellent tracker. once tricked Annie with the Pollinator, I gave her a call and she found you in no time flat."

Zor: "What are you going to do no?"

Dante: (Smiling) "Oh, Its not what I'M going to do..." (turning toward the doorway) "He's in here girls!"

Suddenly, a QUADRONO armour tears the roof off the building, and Zor finds himself facing Miriya, Dana, Maya, Annie and Nova.

Dante: (Climbing on to the back of Gnea's Pegasus) "Oh, by the way Zor, if anyone is looking for me I'll be away for the weekend. Bye!"

The girls turn back to Zor as Dante and Gnea fly off.

Zor:

Meanwhile.

Gnea: "Oh, by the way, we're keeping the costume."

Dante:

Fredericks: "You were noticeably absent during that entire...affair...Lieutenant Satori."
Nova: "It wasn't an affair, it was a fracas...and no, I figured if I leaned back and gave Sterling enough leeway, she'd eventually turn on her teammates...who are more than able to deal with her...eccentricities...than the GMP is. So, minimal investment of time and effort on our part, ultimately beneficial result."
Fredericks: "Very cunning of you."
Nova: "Thanks. So how are the treating you in here?"
Fredericks: "That harassment charge was a frame! I NEVER came NEAR that woman!"

Nova: "So, that's not Sean's Rapeman costume they found you wearing?"

Breetai:(lounging on sofa at home watching Dancing With the Stars) "I have a feeling, tonight, that I dodged getting caught up in inane shennanigans."
Kazianna Hesh:(leaning over his shoulder) "How about some OTHER shennanigans?"
Breetai:(raising one eyebrow---the left one---appreciably as he takes in what Kazianna's 'wearing') "To THOSE, my dear, I have no objections."

[Arnie100]

*RingRing*

Breetai: "This is Breetai speaking."
Grel: (On the the other line) "My Lord, you should've been at the bar tonight! Hahahaha! It was most amus --"

*Click*

Grel: "My Lord? Hellooooo..."
Kazianna: "Who was that?"
Breetai: (Hanging up the phone and pulling out the wires) "Nothing, My Dear! Wrong number! Now...where we were?"
Kazianna: "Oh; yes, shenaningans!"

[Alpha 11]

*RingRing*

Breetai: "This is Breetai speaking."
Grel: (On the the other line) "My Lord, you should've been at the bar tonight! Hahahaha! It was most amus --"

*Click*

Grel: "My Lord? Hellooooo..."
Kazianna: "Who was that?"
Breetai: (Hanging up the phone and pulling out the wires) "Nothing, My Dear! Wrong number! Now...where we were?"
Kazianna: "Oh; yes, shenaningans!"

[taalismn]

As Nova comes off the night shift....
Nova:(thinking)( "Ah.....prisoners either bailed out, transferred, or moved to temporary holding facilities....contractors rebuilding the brig...hmmm...mass of suspicious electronics in robe being carted away by waste disposal services....Good morning sunshine!....coffee shop's open...fresh donuts!....Hmmm, 15th's all out of town by now...Hah! That's for using me as an accomplice to spying, Zor!....Hmmm...bar's getting rebuilt...again....Is that Grel?..."Hi, Grel!"...Damn, but I wish he hadn't gone freelance...mind like that would do well in the GMP...Oops! People! Leaving garbage in the road like that! That's LITTERING! Dropping T.R. dolls in the street!(kick) She kicks, she scores!GOOOOAAALLLLL!!! Right into the garbage trunk and the crowd goes wild!...okay, it's just the compactor working, but still, across the street accuracy? Forager tied upside down from a light pole? OKay, that's new..wait, I recognize the guy. "Mister Rand, are we misbehaving again?"...I'll mention this to Public Services when I get home, if they don't already know...can't leave stuff like that hanging from public utilities...Ah....nice day to take off.....glad to be getting home soon..")

[Arnie100]

(Officer's Quarters, Monument City)

Edwards: (Rolling along the floor and slamming into a wall) "Why does this keep happening to me!? Someone help!"

(Two officers walking by)

Officer #1: "Edwards possessed again?"
Officer #2: "I don't know and I don't WANNA know, 'kay?"

(Light pole, Monument City)

Rand: (Hanging upside down, hog-tied and gagged) "Mmmmmmmpppphhhh (It wasn't me! I was framed) !!!!!!"

[Alpha 11]

As Nova comes off the night shift....
Nova:(thinking)( "Ah.....prisoners either bailed out, transferred, or moved to temporary holding facilities....contractors rebuilding the brig...hmmm...mass of suspicious electronics in robe being carted away by waste disposal services....Good morning sunshine!....coffee shop's open...fresh donuts!....Hmmm, 15th's all out of town by now...Hah! That's for using me as an accomplice to spying, Zor!....Hmmm...bar's getting rebuilt...again....Is that Grel?..."Hi, Grel!"...Damn, but I wish he hadn't gone freelance...mind like that would do well in the GMP...Oops! People! Leaving garbage in the road like that! That's LITTERING! Dropping T.R. dolls in the street!(kick) She kicks, she scores!GOOOOAAALLLLL!!! Right into the garbage trunk and the crowd goes wild!...okay, it's just the compactor working, but still, across the street accuracy? Forager tied upside down from a light pole? OKay, that's new..wait, I recognize the guy. "Mister Rand, are we misbehaving again?"...I'll mention this to Public Services when I get home, if they don't already know...can't leave stuff like that hanging from public utilities...Ah....nice day to take off.....glad to be getting home soon..")

(Officer's Quarters, Monument City)

Edwards: (Rolling along the floor and slamming into a wall) "Why does this keep happening to me!? Someone help!"

(Two officers walking by)

Officer #1: "Edwards possessed again?"
Officer #2: "I don't know and I don't WANNA know, 'kay?"

(Light pole, Monument City)

Rand: (Hanging upside down, hog-tied and gagged) "Mmmmmmmpppphhhh (It wasn't me! I was framed) !!!!!!"

[SRoss]

(Light pole, Monument City)

Rand: (Hanging upside down, hog-tied and gagged) "Mmmmmmmpppphhhh (It wasn't me! I was framed) !!!!!!"

On a roof across the street, an Iigaa, with an industrial line extruder and a large sheet done up like the Rapeman mask hanging over it's face, admired it's handy work.

Iigaa: (Telepathically) "Spider Invid, Spider Invid, does whatever a Spider Invid does!!!"

[Veritas476]

On a roof across the street, an Iigaa, with an industrial line extruder and a large sheet done up like the Rapeman mask hanging over it's face, admired it's handy work.

Iigaa: (Telepathically) "Spider Invid, Spider Invid, does whatever a Spider Invid does!!!"

facepalms, and groans, at SRoss' post...

That's just wrong.

[taalismn]

On a roof across the street, an Iigaa, with an industrial line extruder and a large sheet done up like the Rapeman mask hanging over it's face, admired it's handy work.

Iigaa: (Telepathically) "Spider Invid, Spider Invid, does whatever a Spider Invid does!!!"

facepalms, and groans, at SRoss' post...

That's just wrong.

It gets worse.

The line's unraveling.

And Rand's hanging over the main highway into Monument.

And it's coming up on rush hour.

[Arnie100]

It gets worse.

The line's unraveling.

And Rand's hanging over the main highway into Monument.

And it's coming up on rush hour.

Driver: "Oh, look! (pointing at Rand) A pinata!!"

[taalismn]

[

Driver: "Oh, look! (pointing at Rand) A pinata!!"

Yep...hanging upside down, suspended by your feet...
Seeing that semi(and no, it ain't Optimus Prime) barreling at you, driven by a driver who wants to make delivery ahead of schedule....
And remembering, as a Forager, your health insurance plan SUCKS....

[Alpha 11]

(Light pole, Monument City)

Rand: (Hanging upside down, hog-tied and gagged) "Mmmmmmmpppphhhh (It wasn't me! I was framed) !!!!!!"

On a roof across the street, an Iigaa, with an industrial line extruder and a large sheet done up like the Rapeman mask hanging over it's face, admired it's handy work.

Iigaa: (Telepathically) "Spider Invid, Spider Invid, does whatever a Spider Invid does!!!"

On a roof across the street, an Iigaa, with an industrial line extruder and a large sheet done up like the Rapeman mask hanging over it's face, admired it's handy work.

Iigaa: (Telepathically) "Spider Invid, Spider Invid, does whatever a Spider Invid does!!!"

facepalms, and groans, at SRoss' post...

That's just wrong.

On a roof across the street, an Iigaa, with an industrial line extruder and a large sheet done up like the Rapeman mask hanging over it's face, admired it's handy work.

Iigaa: (Telepathically) "Spider Invid, Spider Invid, does whatever a Spider Invid does!!!"

facepalms, and groans, at SRoss' post...

That's just wrong.

It gets worse.

The line's unraveling.

And Rand's hanging over the main highway into Monument.

And it's coming up on rush hour.

It gets worse.

The line's unraveling.

And Rand's hanging over the main highway into Monument.

And it's coming up on rush hour.

Driver: "Oh, look! (pointing at Rand) A pinata!!"

[

Driver: "Oh, look! (pointing at Rand) A pinata!!"

Yep...hanging upside down, suspended by your feet...
Seeing that semi(and no, it ain't Optimus Prime) barreling at you, driven by a driver who wants to make delivery ahead of schedule....
And remembering, as a Forager, your health insurance plan SUCKS....

[SRoss]

[

Driver: "Oh, look! (pointing at Rand) A pinata!!"

Yep...hanging upside down, suspended by your feet...
Seeing that semi(and no, it ain't Optimus Prime) barreling at you, driven by a driver who wants to make delivery ahead of schedule....
And remembering, as a Forager, your health insurance plan SUCKS....

Rook: (Firing a rocket into the truck cab) "THIS IS GETTING TO BE A HABIT RAND!!!"

Meanwhile Sean wakes up in the Invid Hive...

Regis: (Observing her Scout) "Can you explain this human?"

[taalismn]

[

Regis: (Observing her Scout) "Can you explain this human?"

Scout: /"Well, phrased in terms of theoretical quantum physics, it begins with negative zero sum divided by positive zero...."/

[Arnie100]

[

Regis: (Observing her Scout) "Can you explain this human?"

Scout: /"Well, phrased in terms of theoretical quantum physics, it begins with negative zero sum divided by positive zero...."/

Regis: "Excuse me??"
Scout: "A new stress-relief doll?"
Regis: "Why didn't you say so? I've been wanting a new one since that Macgruder one turned out to be a lemon! Didn't relieve my stress at all!"
Sean: "Wha -- ?"

[Alpha 11]

[

Driver: "Oh, look! (pointing at Rand) A pinata!!"

Yep...hanging upside down, suspended by your feet...
Seeing that semi(and no, it ain't Optimus Prime) barreling at you, driven by a driver who wants to make delivery ahead of schedule....
And remembering, as a Forager, your health insurance plan SUCKS....

Rook: (Firing a rocket into the truck cab) "THIS IS GETTING TO BE A HABIT RAND!!!"

Meanwhile Sean wakes up in the Invid Hive...

Regis: (Observing her Scout) "Can you explain this human?"

[

Regis: (Observing her Scout) "Can you explain this human?"

Scout: /"Well, phrased in terms of theoretical quantum physics, it begins with negative zero sum divided by positive zero...."/

[

Regis: (Observing her Scout) "Can you explain this human?"

Scout: /"Well, phrased in terms of theoretical quantum physics, it begins with negative zero sum divided by positive zero...."/

Regis: "Excuse me??"
Scout: "A new stress-relief doll?"
Regis: "Why didn't you say so? I've been wanting a new one since that Macgruder one turned out to be a lemon! Didn't relieve my stress at all!"
Sean: "Wha -- ?"

[SRoss]

[

Regis: (Observing her Scout) "Can you explain this human?"

Scout: /"Well, phrased in terms of theoretical quantum physics, it begins with negative zero sum divided by positive zero...."/

Well, she was supposed to be asking Sean to explain her Scout's behavior, but this works too...

[taalismn]

[

Well, she was supposed to be asking Sean to explain her Scout's behavior, but this works too...

Either way, it's equally confusing.

[Alpha 11]

[

Regis: (Observing her Scout) "Can you explain this human?"

Scout: /"Well, phrased in terms of theoretical quantum physics, it begins with negative zero sum divided by positive zero...."/

Well, she was supposed to be asking Sean to explain her Scout's behavior, but this works too...

[

Well, she was supposed to be asking Sean to explain her Scout's behavior, but this works too...

Either way, it's equally confusing.

Very true.

[taalismn]

Sean: "Well, obviously your low-caste drone has advanced beyond high school physics, even college-level applied physics. possibly as a result of reading the collected works of Einstein, Bohr, Banzai, and Von Totenheim, though I detect a smattering of Doctor Riff in his explanation. I don't know where the nuclear spirituality comes in, but I suspect he's ad-libbing tha-(sees the Regis's stern glare)...oh, you mean the MASK! No, I have NO idea what the hell's up with that. Why'd you ask?"

[Arnie100]

Regis: "Well, I see you're only useful as a stress-relief doll!"

[Alpha 11]

Sean: "Well, obviously your low-caste drone has advanced beyond high school physics, even college-level applied physics. possibly as a result of reading the collected works of Einstein, Bohr, Banzai, and Von Totenheim, though I detect a smattering of Doctor Riff in his explanation. I don't know where the nuclear spirituality comes in, but I suspect he's ad-libbing tha-(sees the Regis's stern glare)...oh, you mean the MASK! No, I have NO idea what the hell's up with that. Why'd you ask?"

Regis: "Well, I see you're only useful as a stress-relief doll!"

[taalismn]

Regis: "Well, I see you're only useful as a stress-relief doll!"

"Human Sean Philips, your lack of cooperation disturbs me..."
"Oh no, not the damn Force Cho*GHACK!*"

[taalismn]

Force Choke means never having to reach across a table and choke a ***** out!!!

Though it occurs to me that she is like 30-50 feet tall depending...that means her table is truly epic in scale...as is her CABO reach!

Force Choke is also fun for killing people at restaurants...then filing a wrongful death suite against the eatery afterwards. Also makes Thanksgivings at the Palpatines' interesting affairs.
"Let us give thanks...("ACHK! *GASP*"Thud!"Uncle Karl!")...that divine providence has seen fit to remove more obstacles from our happiness."
"Could you have waited at least until we actually started eating before pulling that $#!+, pops?"


Actually she could probably just punt Sean like a soccer ball.
@"Learned this watching Brazillian sports!"@ (bounce-kick/kick/kick/kick-PUNT!)
Sean: "Ouch!Ack! Owtch!OW!---ohblessedunconsciousness---"

[Arnie100]

Sean: "Marie, I swear I'm never going to watch another tentacle movie with Dante ever again! Please...SAVE ME!!"

[taalismn]

Sean: "The Regis is a World Cup fan. How do I know this? Because when she punted me through the door of Reflex Point, every damn Invid went 'GOOOOOAAALLLL!!!!'"

[Alpha 11]

Regis: "Well, I see you're only useful as a stress-relief doll!"

"Human Sean Philips, your lack of cooperation disturbs me..."
"Oh no, not the damn Force Cho*GHACK!*"

Force Choke means never having to reach across a table and choke a ***** out!!!

Though it occurs to me that she is like 30-50 feet tall depending...that means her table is truly epic in scale...as is her CABO reach!

Force Choke means never having to reach across a table and choke a ***** out!!!

Though it occurs to me that she is like 30-50 feet tall depending...that means her table is truly epic in scale...as is her CABO reach!

Force Choke is also fun for killing people at restaurants...then filing a wrongful death suite against the eatery afterwards. Also makes Thanksgivings at the Palpatines' interesting affairs.
"Let us give thanks...("ACHK! *GASP*"Thud!"Uncle Karl!")...that divine providence has seen fit to remove more obstacles from our happiness."
"Could you have waited at least until we actually started eating before pulling that $#!+, pops?"


Actually she could probably just punt Sean like a soccer ball.
@"Learned this watching Brazillian sports!"@ (bounce-kick/kick/kick/kick-PUNT!)
Sean: "Ouch!Ack! Owtch!OW!---ohblessedunconsciousness---"

Sean: "Marie, I swear I'm never going to watch another tentacle movie with Dante ever again! Please...SAVE ME!!"

Sean: "The Regis is a World Cup fan. How do I know this? Because when she punted me through the door of Reflex Point, every damn Invid went 'GOOOOOAAALLLL!!!!'"