Robotech Blooper Reels

[SRoss]

(Said as you launch on that recon mission in to enemy space.) "Yeah, we boosted the speed by removing all the weapon systems."

"Man, I shouldn't have had any of those Magic Brownies [sup]TM[/sup] before work."

"The Regess will be extati ... er ... Yes sir your ship is ready."

[taalismn]

(Said as you launch on that recon mission in to enemy space.) "Yeah, we boosted the speed by removing all the weapon systems.".[/i]"

Classic sci-fi reference...

[Arnie100]

"Manual? There's a manual!?"
"Look out! It's gonna blow -- just kidding!"
"No, really! It IS gonna blow up!"
"Look...I would stake HIS (pointing at other tech) reputation that it is perfectly safe!"
"You know, come to think about it, the control panel's the other way around..."
"If you would sign here and here...what are these? These documents are to make sure we're not liable...shouldn't have said that!"

[taalismn]

"Your insurance is paid up, right?"
"Don't worry, all the important parts work!"
"As long as you only run it for an hour or so, it should work. You're only making a short hop, right?"
"You'll be virtually invisible in this thing! I guarantee it!"
"Don't play with the yellow buttons."'
"As long as you don't get hit, you should be fine."
"We swapped some parts around, but you're not really going to need the ejection system anyway."
"That doohicky? That's the prayer wheel."

[SRoss]

"Umm ... Should we be glowing like this?"

"Yeah, just ignore the warning lights they're not important."

"That? You didn't need that anyway."

[taalismn]

"She'll work fine...as long as you only have to fly in a straight line."
"There's a small chance the missile guidance system may mistake you or your wingmen for the enemy, but only a SMALL chance."
"Sure, the Artificial Intelligence has safeguards to keep it from running berserk!"
"Oh, I was supposed to install firewalls in the computer system?"

[glitterboy2098]

"see the little red button? never press the little red button."
"you've been chosen to test our new Catheter design!"
"don't worry, the software is open source!"
"turns out it's not a bug, it's a feature!"
"we're still trying to fix that inverted joystick.."

[SRoss]

"Ok, While you do the start up sequence, I'll be over in this bunker here."

[Arnie100]

"We have a couple of more documents..."
"Hey, what does this button do? Any of you guys know?"
"WWWAAAIIITTT!!! I forgot to tell you -- awww, crap!" (After the pilot already launched)
"Hahahahahahaha!!! He's actually gonna go up in that thing?! I wouldn't go up in that thing!"

[Alpha 11]

"Remember; the soy sauce goes on AFTER you cut him up. We don't want splatter all over the place."

Should we let him shoke over night?

Nah...too much marinading and you lose that fresh raw taste.

Though the best, IMO, is having stuff like that the next day. The meat and other stuff just socks in the flavor.

Edwards: (Waking up) "GYAAAHHHHH!!!! It was a dream, a horrible dream!!"
Lisa Clone #1: "No. We're still trying to cook you. You just passed out"
Edwards: "NNNNOOOOOO!!!"

Things You Don't Wanna Hear From Your Robotechnologist:

"I have no idea what I'm doing."
"You want me to do WHAT? How the hell am I supposed to do that?!"
"I'll get back to you on that...."
"My engineering degree's really in dentistry."
"I'm retiring today..."
"Fix it yourself, lardass!"
"Let me get some contract bids on that..."
"My previous experience with this stuff? Making plastic models!"
"Let me spell it out for you; we're SOL...$#!+ outta luck."
"Well, we do that there's a maybe 90% chance of ripping a hole in the space-time continiuum, but hey, let's do it!"
"Yes, I can do it...as soon as I sober up."
"We can do it, but I'm going to have to sacrifice some virgins to pull it off."
"Oh $#!+, I forgot to carry the one!"
(as the system is activating) "Yeah, it was easy to do, once I divided by zero..."
"I got a sweet deal on some aftermarket parts for this!"
"You kept the reciept, didn't you? Because I don't work without seeing a reciept first..."
"Oh wow, you mean this all is powered by some alien FLOWER? That is SO crazy!"
"Yeah, I put it back together! Even had some parts left over!"
"Yeah, we saved you some weight after we removed some of the armor!"
"Now, we haven't actually TESTED it yet..."

"Uummm...that was the self-destruct button...oops!"
"We need another volunteer...we still can't find what's left of the other one!"
"Well, it was right there a minute ago!"
"You wanted a safety mechanism on that!? Now you tell me."
"We need a clean-up crew down here ASAP...and more volunteers!"

"Of COURSE it's perfectly safe!"
"This thing is certified 100% idiot-proof!"
"It is the child of my genius! It CANNOT fail!"
"It's indestructible!"
"It's safe. Just don't think of blue flamingos while you're using it."
"Well, it DID fry the brains of the last ten people who tested it, but it should be safe to use now!"
"Sure you can use it! Just sign this waiver first..."

(Said as you launch on that recon mission in to enemy space.) "Yeah, we boosted the speed by removing all the weapon systems."

"Man, I shouldn't have had any of those Magic Brownies [sup]TM[/sup] before work."

"The Regess will be extati ... er ... Yes sir your ship is ready."

(Said as you launch on that recon mission in to enemy space.) "Yeah, we boosted the speed by removing all the weapon systems.".[/i]"

Classic sci-fi reference...

Don't know it.

"Manual? There's a manual!?"
"Look out! It's gonna blow -- just kidding!"
"No, really! It IS gonna blow up!"
"Look...I would stake HIS (pointing at other tech) reputation that it is perfectly safe!"
"You know, come to think about it, the control panel's the other way around..."
"If you would sign here and here...what are these? These documents are to make sure we're not liable...shouldn't have said that!"

[Alpha 11]

"Your insurance is paid up, right?"
"Don't worry, all the important parts work!"
"As long as you only run it for an hour or so, it should work. You're only making a short hop, right?"
"You'll be virtually invisible in this thing! I guarantee it!"
"Don't play with the yellow buttons."'
"As long as you don't get hit, you should be fine."
"We swapped some parts around, but you're not really going to need the ejection system anyway."
"That doohicky? That's the prayer wheel."

"Umm ... Should we be glowing like this?"

"Yeah, just ignore the warning lights they're not important."

"That? You didn't need that anyway."

"She'll work fine...as long as you only have to fly in a straight line."
"There's a small chance the missile guidance system may mistake you or your wingmen for the enemy, but only a SMALL chance."
"Sure, the Artificial Intelligence has safeguards to keep it from running berserk!"
"Oh, I was supposed to install firewalls in the computer system?"

"see the little red button? never press the little red button."
"you've been chosen to test our new Catheter design!"
"don't worry, the software is open source!"
"turns out it's not a bug, it's a feature!"
"we're still trying to fix that inverted joystick.."

"Ok, While you do the start up sequence, I'll be over in this bunker here."

"We have a couple of more documents..."
"Hey, what does this button do? Any of you guys know?"
"WWWAAAIIITTT!!! I forgot to tell you -- awww, crap!" (After the pilot already launched)
"Hahahahahahaha!!! He's actually gonna go up in that thing?! I wouldn't go up in that thing!"

[Arnie100]

"So...where does this go, exactly?"
"You actually made it back! That's a relief!"
"The last guy that went up in that...eeewwww..."

[taalismn]

[Don't know it.
:

Original Series Battlestar Galactica

[Arnie100]

[Don't know it.
:

Original Series Battlestar Galactica

Oh, that's right. CORA!

[taalismn]

[Don't know it.
:

Original Series Battlestar Galactica

Oh, that's right. CORA!

Give the man an ambrosia!

[Alpha 11]

"So...where does this go, exactly?"
"You actually made it back! That's a relief!"
"The last guy that went up in that...eeewwww..."

[Don't know it.
:

Original Series Battlestar Galactica

Wow, been a while since I saw that.

[Don't know it.
:

Original Series Battlestar Galactica

Oh, that's right. CORA!

Yep, been a while.

[Don't know it.
:

Original Series Battlestar Galactica

Oh, that's right. CORA!

Give the man an ambrosia!

Good memory.

[taalismn]

More Things You Don't Want to Hear from Your Robotechnician:

"Define 'safe'."
"Depends...you're not planning on having kids, are you?"
"Well, it's not as if you have a great life expectancy to begin with...."
"Exposure should be well within your tolerances..."
"Say, am I in your will?"
"Nothing's fallen off of it yet."
"Well there is a chance of a catastrophic failure, but the odds against it actually happening are ASTRONOMICAL..."

[Arnie100]

"It's not a piece of junk..."
"Just because it looks like a piece of junk..."
"I'm telling you...the engines will start this time!"
"Don't mind the flashing 'Warning' sign!"

[taalismn]

"How long can you hold your breath?"
"Sure, it overheats! Don't they all?"
"Got a bargain on the command and control programs!"
"It's only a delay of a couple of seconds. Not enough to matter."
"We're pretty sure the exorcism worked."

[Alpha 11]

More Things You Don't Want to Hear from Your Robotechnician:

"Define 'safe'."
"Depends...you're not planning on having kids, are you?"
"Well, it's not as if you have a great life expectancy to begin with...."
"Exposure should be well within your tolerances..."
"Say, am I in your will?"
"Nothing's fallen off of it yet."
"Well there is a chance of a catastrophic failure, but the odds against it actually happening are ASTRONOMICAL..."

"It's not a piece of junk..."
"Just because it looks like a piece of junk..."
"I'm telling you...the engines will start this time!"
"Don't mind the flashing 'Warning' sign!"

"How long can you hold your breath?"
"Sure, it overheats! Don't they all?"
"Got a bargain on the command and control programs!"
"It's only a delay of a couple of seconds. Not enough to matter."
"We're pretty sure the exorcism worked."

[Arnie100]

"Does anyone know what this does? Anyone?" (Deck crew and everyone else dives for cover)
"I just barely got out of tech training. This is my first prototype!"
"I'm sure we installed the ejection seat! Didn't we?"
"The smoke coming out of the engine IS normal!"
"Never mind the rattling noise coming from the engines! I'm sure there's nothing wrong with them!"

[taalismn]

"Some kinda fungus growing in the batteries, so I squirted some defoliant in there. Should be fine now."
"Yeah, all I did was kick it a few times and it works fine now!"
"No, I haven't had any sleep in forty-eight hours! Why'd you ask?"
"Say, you wouldn't know what this thiingy I found under your mecha is?"
"I'm pretty sure we calibrated it in metric. Or did we...?"
"One of our techs made a mistake on one of the repairs. We're not sure which mecha or which repair, so be a little extra careful, okay?"
"Don't worry, I work better when I'm drunk!"
"Don't remove the rosary beads from the throttle."

[SRoss]

Things You Sholdn't Say on a Date with the Stirling Sisters

"God your mom's hot!"

Anything about the Wet Celery and the Flying Helmet.

Anything about Dana's luck with men.

Dito about her ability to sing.

[Arnie100]

"Dana, I heard your sister's a better pilot then you!"

[glitterboy2098]

"Maia, your sister's a better pilot than you!"

"are you sure there isn't a third sister?"

[taalismn]

"You know what they say about blondes."
"You know what they say about the green ones."
"So, Zor was gay, right?"
"So...you Sterling girls into threesomes?"
"So ever do it on the stick?"
"So....when's the next catfight with your sister? Can I watch?"

[SRoss]

"So, do half-Zentreadi girls put out on the first date?"

"So, you and Bowie? ... nudge, nudge, wink, wink..." (Get's your ass kicked by Dana AND Musica)

"So, which one of you is the loose one?"

[taalismn]

"That dress makes you look like a little girl."
"Apparently a sense of hair style is something you DIDN'T inherit from your parents."
"Let's skip the chatter and go straight to the sex."
"You looked better in dim light."

[SRoss]

"Whoa, that Nova chick is hot"

"Maia, you and the Invid chick ever ... nudge, nudge, wink, wink!?!" (Get's your ass kicked AND devolved.)

"How could someone with such dumb hair be picky?"

[Alpha 11]

"Does anyone know what this does? Anyone?" (Deck crew and everyone else dives for cover)
"I just barely got out of tech training. This is my first prototype!"
"I'm sure we installed the ejection seat! Didn't we?"
"The smoke coming out of the engine IS normal!"
"Never mind the rattling noise coming from the engines! I'm sure there's nothing wrong with them!"

"Some kinda fungus growing in the batteries, so I squirted some defoliant in there. Should be fine now."
"Yeah, all I did was kick it a few times and it works fine now!"
"No, I haven't had any sleep in forty-eight hours! Why'd you ask?"
"Say, you wouldn't know what this thiingy I found under your mecha is?"
"I'm pretty sure we calibrated it in metric. Or did we...?"
"One of our techs made a mistake on one of the repairs. We're not sure which mecha or which repair, so be a little extra careful, okay?"
"Don't worry, I work better when I'm drunk!"
"Don't remove the rosary beads from the throttle."

Things You Sholdn't Say on a Date with the Stirling Sisters

"God your mom's hot!"

Anything about the Wet Celery and the Flying Helmet.

Anything about Dana's luck with men.

Dito about her ability to sing.

"Dana, I heard your sister's a better pilot then you!"

"Maia, your sister's a better pilot than you!"

"are you sure there isn't a third sister?"

Poor girl.

"You know what they say about blondes."
"You know what they say about the green ones."
"So, Zor was gay, right?"
"So...you Sterling girls into threesomes?"
"So ever do it on the stick?"
"So....when's the next catfight with your sister? Can I watch?"

They won't find the body.

"So, do half-Zentreadi girls put out on the first date?"

"So, you and Bowie? ... nudge, nudge, wink, wink..." (Get's your ass kicked by Dana AND Musica)

"So, which one of you is the loose one?"

"That dress makes you look like a little girl."
"Apparently a sense of hair style is something you DIDN'T inherit from your parents."
"Let's skip the chatter and go straight to the sex."
"You looked better in dim light."

"Whoa, that Nova chick is hot"

"Maia, you and the Invid chick ever ... nudge, nudge, wink, wink!?!" (Get's your ass kicked AND devolved.)

"How could someone with such dumb hair be picky?"

[Arnie100]

"How did you ever get to be a pilot, anyways?" "Gets @ss kicked)
"So which of you is the smarter one?"
"How come your sister is much hotter then you are?" (Gets @ss kicked again)

[taalismn]

"So which one of you is the psychotic chick?"
"You're going out with MARCUS RUSH?! You into emo, girl?"
"So which level of HELL does Dante consider you?"
"Nichols AND Rush? Wanna break that string of losers with a REAL man for a change?"

[SRoss]

"I'll have you know, among the Invid, I'm considered a Prince."

"Hey Babe! I managed Minmei's career, think what I could do for you."

"You're not related to Lisa Hayes are you?"

"Come with me and together we'll crush the filthy micronians."

[taalismn]

"Yeah, I'm Tirolian; we do EVERYTHING in threes."
"Say, you're half Zentraedi! Do you, ah, get BIG?"(wink, wink)
"Yeah, right, the story you set your last boyfriend on fire? Chicks like to talk tough, don't they?"

[SRoss]

"Umm ... Yeah, my life insurance is payed up. Why?"

[taalismn]

"Umm ... Yeah, my life insurance is payed up. Why?"

"Yeah, I got paid dental. Why?"

[Arnie100]

"Please don't kick my @ss anymore! It was all Dante's idea!"
"You know, I heard that Zor was interested in your sister..."
"Is it true what they say about blonds?"
"Are you really a blond or do you dye your hair?"

[Alpha 11]

"How did you ever get to be a pilot, anyways?" "Gets @ss kicked)
"So which of you is the smarter one?"
"How come your sister is much hotter then you are?" (Gets @ss kicked again)

"So which one of you is the psychotic chick?"
"You're going out with MARCUS RUSH?! You into emo, girl?"
"So which level of HELL does Dante consider you?"
"Nichols AND Rush? Wanna break that string of losers with a REAL man for a change?"

"I'll have you know, among the Invid, I'm considered a Prince."

"Hey Babe! I managed Minmei's career, think what I could do for you."

"You're not related to Lisa Hayes are you?"

"Come with me and together we'll crush the filthy micronians."

"Yeah, I'm Tirolian; we do EVERYTHING in threes."
"Say, you're half Zentraedi! Do you, ah, get BIG?"(wink, wink)
"Yeah, right, the story you set your last boyfriend on fire? Chicks like to talk tough, don't they?"

"Umm ... Yeah, my life insurance is payed up. Why?"

"Umm ... Yeah, my life insurance is payed up. Why?"

"Yeah, I got paid dental. Why?"

"Please don't kick my @ss anymore! It was all Dante's idea!"
"You know, I heard that Zor was interested in your sister..."
"Is it true what they say about blonds?"
"Are you really a blond or do you dye your hair?"

[taalismn]

"So, you a screamer?"
"How flexible are you?"
"I always dreamed of doing it in a cockpit."
"You ain't never met a man like me!"
"No, I'm not intimidated by who your parents are! They're overrated anyway!"

[SRoss]

"Yeah, so anyway, one night I slipped into the 15 [sup]th[/sup]'s barracks and replaced that dumb blond's hairspray with MDC Armour spray."

[taalismn]

"You wouldn't believe the $#!+ I just pulled on your sister!"
"Why do I always have to deal with the slow Sterling?"
"First your mom, then your dad, now you! Can't I catch a break from ANY of you?!"
"I take it you're the runt of the litter?"

[Alpha 11]

"So, you a screamer?"
"How flexible are you?"
"I always dreamed of doing it in a cockpit."
"You ain't never met a man like me!"
"No, I'm not intimidated by who your parents are! They're overrated anyway!"

"Yeah, so anyway, one night I slipped into the 15 [sup]th[/sup]'s barracks and replaced that dumb blond's hairspray with MDC Armour spray."

"You wouldn't believe the $#!+ I just pulled on your sister!"
"Why do I always have to deal with the slow Sterling?"
"First your mom, then your dad, now you! Can't I catch a break from ANY of you?!"
"I take it you're the runt of the litter?"

[Arnie100]

"I hope your sister doesn't find out I was the one that switched out her hair spray!"
"Come on, seriously, how'd you graduate from the Academy?"
"Were you actually adopted?"

[taalismn]

"I can see why Zor killed himself."
"That lounge singer, he jumped, right?"
"So I hear you and Nova used to have a thing going on."
"Can you introduce me to Marie Crystal? I think she's hot."

[Alpha 11]

"I hope your sister doesn't find out I was the one that switched out her hair spray!"
"Come on, seriously, how'd you graduate from the Academy?"
"Were you actually adopted?"

"I can see why Zor killed himself."
"That lounge singer, he jumped, right?"
"So I hear you and Nova used to have a thing going on."
"Can you introduce me to Marie Crystal? I think she's hot."

[taalismn]

"No, really, what do you do around here? The laundry?"
"You're kidding me; they made YOU a lieutenant?"
"Those are implants, am I right?"
"Good thing you have a squad of men around around to the REAL work."

[Arnie100]

"I'm telling you she's not a real blond!"
"I think Minmei is smarter then her."
"I still think she was adopted!"
"As long as she doesn't try to sing, we should be alright!"

[Alpha 11]

"No, really, what do you do around here? The laundry?"
"You're kidding me; they made YOU a lieutenant?"
"Those are implants, am I right?"
"Good thing you have a squad of men around around to the REAL work."

"I'm telling you she's not a real blond!"
"I think Minmei is smarter then her."
"I still think she was adopted!"
"As long as she doesn't try to sing, we should be alright!"

[SRoss]

"Stirling Curse!?! What a load of bull!"

[SRoss]

Minmei scowled as she looked at the Prelude to The Shadow Chronicles script.

Minmei: "What the Hell!!! Not only do I not get a man, but Edwards sticks me in a Genisis Pit!"

Kyle: "What are you complaning about? At least you live."

Minmei: "Hmm ... I think I have a better idea... HELP! T.R.! INTRUDER!!!"

As Edwards rushes in the door, Minmei whips out Kyle's gun and fires three shots. Expertly hitting Edwards twice in the chest and once between the eyes. She then picks up the phone. "Security. Nova speaking!"

Minmei: "Oh come quickly, I shot an intruder in my quarters. Unfortunately he strangled my cousin before I saw him."

###CLICK###
Kyle: "Good plan, except no one ... GAAACCCKKK!"

With lightning speed, Minmei looped Rick's silk flying scarf around Kyle's neck and pulled tight with insane strength.

Minmei: "Shhhh, shhh, it's all right, it's better this way Kyle..."