Robotech Blooper Reels

[SailorCallie]

Captain Gloval: "Ah! We've successfully completed the modular transformation..."

Voltron (flying up to SDF-1): "Hey baby. What's your name??"

Captain Gloval: "Change back! Change back!"

[Alrik Vas]

Yeah, that one was pretty good.

[taalismn]

Lang: "And this is the Strategic Permanent Modular Transformation Multidirectional Dispersal Decoy Mode intended to distract an enemy by splitting our vessel up into so many units on divergent courses they cannot be efficiently tracked and pursued."
Gloval: "I don't remember reading about that in the technical briefings!"
Lisa: "Did you just say the entire ship just came unglued and flew apart?"

[taalismn]

Breetai: "Did we really have to obliterate that planet?"
Dolza: "THEY WERE LATE WITH MY CHINESE ORDER!!"

[Arnie100]

Breetai: "Did we really have to obliterate that planet?"
Dolza: "THEY WERE LATE WITH MY CHINESE ORDER!!"

Azonia: "Well, I wanted a happy meal!"
Exedore: "They forgot my French Fries again..."

[taalismn]

Gloval: "Lang, you did NOT just 'intrust the secret plans for the Grand Cannon to the droid' while you were drunk, did you?"
Lang: "...ah...maybe?"
Gloval: "That was a Petit Cola machine, and we now can't find it."
Lang: "...oops..."

[DhAkael]

Janice: "0101010 1101100010101 0101 0010101."

Louie: "I love it when you talk dirty."

Awareness; #*#Blush App. executing.#*# (glows red)

[Alpha 11]

Corg: "I DON'T GET IT! How can such an insignificant little human command so much terror???!!!"
Commander Daryl Taylor: "As your spirit guide and personal haunter, I can cue you in on that: it's all thanks to the deal Annie cut with Evil Invisible Empress Musica....Musica gets to run the material universe of grownups, while Annie takes care of the cute nightmares and their realms."
Marlene Rush:(drifting by) "So...sort of like an eldritch Peter Pan, right?"
Commander Daryl Taylor:"Exactly!"
Corg: "What?! I don't get it!!!"
Commander Daryl Taylor:"Musica will break your flesh if she dislikes you. Annie prefers to break your soul. Unconsciousness is no respite for you; it simply makes it easier for Annie to seize your astral self."
Corg: "Like so many of your kind, you do not make sense, human!"
Commander Daryl Taylor:"You can't get away from her by passing out, slug-butt.(seeing a small glowing hand appearing out of the darkness behind Corg) See yah next time, #####er."
Corg: "What do you mean by THAT, human?! Wha-AUUGHHHH!!!NONONONONO!!!!!!!""
Annie: "FOUND YOU."

(Annie's 'toy chest')
Cthulu: "Hey! I just discovered something! She didn't bind my powers or anything before she shoved me in here! I POSSESS MY FULL ELDRITCH MIGHT!!!! "
Set:# "...she's still Annie, she doesn't HAVE to bind your powers to kick your ass...Now shut up and go back to sleep. You're disturbing Galactus and Tiamat..."#
Cthulu: "...oh...right...sorry..."

Galactus: "Hey; tentacle-face, if you're soooo ALL-POWERFUL...why are you still in this toy chest?

Annie: "FOUND YOU."

Corg: "I WANNA STAY!!!!" (Crying hysterically)
Annie: "It's time to go home, snookums..."
Corg: "But I was just getting to like it there!"
Annie: "Your friends in the toy chest miss you, Mr. Snugles! Don't make me use my 'chubi beam' on you!"

(Annie's 'toy chest')
Cthulu: "Hey! I just discovered something! She didn't bind my powers or anything before she shoved me in here! I POSSESS MY FULL ELDRITCH MIGHT!!!! "
Set:# "...she's still Annie, she doesn't HAVE to bind your powers to kick your ass...Now shut up and go back to sleep. You're disturbing Galactus and Tiamat..."#
Cthulu: "...oh...right...sorry..."

Galactus: "Hey; tentacle-face, if you're soooo ALL-POWERFUL...why are you still in this toy chest?

Galactuc: "I HUNGER."(looking at Cthulu)

[Alpha 11]

Janice: "0101010 1101100010101 0101 0010101."

Louie: "I love it when you talk dirty."

Galactuc: "I HUNGER."(looking at Cthulu)

Cthulhu: "You need to go to Weight Watchers, man. You got issues."

Galactuc: "I HUNGER."(looking at Cthulu)

Cthulhu: "You need to go to Weight Watchers, man. You got issues."

Haster: (Pointing at a restraunt) "Look Galactus! All you can eat buffet!"

Uncle Max: "I'm ruined!!!"

Annie: "hey, where did all my WarPlanets sets go?"

Dolza: "Khyron! Are you in there?"

Khyron: "Damn it, Dolza. Didn't you see the sign?"

Sign on door: "If this cruiser is a'rockin', don't come a'knockin'."

Louie: "The space fold to Earth was successful."

Admiral Hunter: "How do you know?"

Louie: "Our scouts brought back a Double Venti Soy Latte."

Galactuc: "I HUNGER."(looking at Cthulu)

Cthulhu: "You need to go to Weight Watchers, man. You got issues."

Galactus: "Mmmmm...SUSHI sounds GOOD!"

Captain Gloval: "Ah! We've successfully completed the modular transformation..."

Voltron (flying up to SDF-1): "Hey baby. What's your name??"

Captain Gloval: "Change back! Change back!"

Lang: "And this is the Strategic Permanent Modular Transformation Multidirectional Dispersal Decoy Mode intended to distract an enemy by splitting our vessel up into so many units on divergent courses they cannot be efficiently tracked and pursued."
Gloval: "I don't remember reading about that in the technical briefings!"
Lisa: "Did you just say the entire ship just came unglued and flew apart?"

Lisa: "Just a Coke please."

Fast food clerk: "Would you like to super dimension size that?"

Breetai: "Did we really have to obliterate that planet?"
Dolza: "THEY WERE LATE WITH MY CHINESE ORDER!!"

Breetai: "Did we really have to obliterate that planet?"
Dolza: "THEY WERE LATE WITH MY CHINESE ORDER!!"

Azonia: "Well, I wanted a happy meal!"
Exedore: "They forgot my French Fries again..."

[Alpha 11]

C-3PO: "Master Luke, I'm very concerned about Artoo."

Luke: "Oh? Why is that?"

C-3PO: "I found lewd pictures of the SDF-1 on his computer."

Gloval: "Lang, you did NOT just 'intrust the secret plans for the Grand Cannon to the droid' while you were drunk, did you?"
Lang: "...ah...maybe?"
Gloval: "That was a Petit Cola machine, and we now can't find it."
Lang: "...oops..."

A scene from Robotech Fiction...

MAX

You remember that one guy, Dolza, half-Zentradi/half-Zentradi? Usta call him Dolza Rocky Horror?

RICK

Yeah, fat right?

MAX

I wouldn't go so far as to call the brother fat; What's he gonna do? He's Zentradi.

RICK

Yeah, I remember him.

MAX

Well, Captain Gloval messed him up and word around the campfire, it was on account of Captain Gloval's girlfriend.

RICK

What'd he do? Screw her?

MAX

No, no, no, no, no. Nothin' that bad.

RICK

Well, what then?

MAX

He gave her a foot massage.

RICK

What did Captain Gloval do?

MAX

Sent a couple of RDF Marines over to his place and they threw him off the balcony. He fell four stories and now I hear he's developed a speech impediment.

RICK

That's a damn shame. But I have to say: play with matches, ya get burned.

MAX

What ya mean?

RICK

You don't be givin' Captain Gloval's girlfriend a foot massage.

MAX

You don't think he overreacted?

RICK

Dolza probably didn't expect Gloval to react the way he did, but he had to expect a reaction.

MAX

Foot massages don't be squat! I give my mother a foot massage.

RICK

Have you ever given a guy a foot massage?

MAX

Screw you.

RICK

'Cause I'm pretty tired. I could use a good foot massage.

MAX

Man, you best back off. I'm gettin' pissed.

Look, just 'cause I wouldn't give no man a foot massage don't make it right for Captain Gloval to throw Dolza off a balcony, messing up the way he talks. Mother Fuddrucker do that to me, he better paralyze my ass 'cause I'd kill a Mother Fuddrucker.

[Actual name of US restaurant chain. Google it.]


RICK

Look, I'm not saying he was right, but you're saying a foot massage don't mean something and I'm saying it does. I've given a million... well, actually.. two foot massages and they all...uh..they both meant something. There's a sensual kind of thing going on and nobody's talking about it but you know it and she knows it. Captain Gloval knew it and Dolza sure as hell should've known it.

MAX

You might be right...

Janice: "0101010 1101100010101 0101 0010101."

Louie: "I love it when you talk dirty."

Awareness; #*#Blush App. executing.#*# (glows red)

[SRoss]

Janice: "0101010 1101100010101 0101 0010101."

Louie: "I love it when you talk dirty."

Awareness; #*#Blush App. executing.#*# (glows red)

J.A.N.I.C.E.: "#Uploading Striling.jpeg#"

Awareness: "Oh Crap!" (Ship explodes)

[taalismn]

Captain Grant:(as the Haydonote cruisers approach the ArkAngel) "It ain't over until the fat lady sings."
Louie: "Forget the fat lady. You're obsessed with the fat lady. Just get us out of here!"(pushes button)

(Meanwhile on bridge of Haydonite cruiser)
Skull and Crossbones:(appearing on Haydonite main view display) "HA-HA-HA-HA!"
(**BOOM**)

[SailorCallie]

Captain Grant:(as the Haydonote cruisers approach the ArkAngel) "It ain't over until the fat lady sings."
Louie: "Forget the fat lady. You're obsessed with the fat lady. Just get us out of here!"(pushes button)

(Meanwhile on bridge of Haydonite cruiser)
Skull and Crossbones:(appearing on Haydonite main view display) "HA-HA-HA-HA!"
(**BOOM**)

"Oh say can you see."

Roseanne Barr, 1990

[taalismn]

[
"Oh say can you see."

Roseanne Barr, 1990

"...The Neutron S missiles aimed at meee......!"

[Alpha 11]

Janice: "0101010 1101100010101 0101 0010101."

Louie: "I love it when you talk dirty."

Awareness; #*#Blush App. executing.#*# (glows red)

J.A.N.I.C.E.: "#Uploading Striling.jpeg#"

Awareness: "Oh Crap!" (Ship explodes)

Captain Grant:(as the Haydonote cruisers approach the ArkAngel) "It ain't over until the fat lady sings."
Louie: "Forget the fat lady. You're obsessed with the fat lady. Just get us out of here!"(pushes button)

(Meanwhile on bridge of Haydonite cruiser)
Skull and Crossbones:(appearing on Haydonite main view display) "HA-HA-HA-HA!"
(**BOOM**)

Captain Grant:(as the Haydonote cruisers approach the ArkAngel) "It ain't over until the fat lady sings."
Louie: "Forget the fat lady. You're obsessed with the fat lady. Just get us out of here!"(pushes button)

(Meanwhile on bridge of Haydonite cruiser)
Skull and Crossbones:(appearing on Haydonite main view display) "HA-HA-HA-HA!"
(**BOOM**)

"Oh say can you see."

Roseanne Barr, 1990

[
"Oh say can you see."

Roseanne Barr, 1990

"...The Neutron S missiles aimed at meee......!"

(sound from Lisa's quarters): Whirr... Whirr... Whirr... BOOM! "Arrrrrgggg!"

Louie (knocking on door): "What happened?? Are you alright?"

Lisa (steps out in lingere): "The Haydonites sabotauged everything!"

[SRoss]

[
"Oh say can you see."

Roseanne Barr, 1990

"...The Neutron S missiles aimed at meee......!"

If I had been there I would have welcomed the missile strike.

[glitterboy2098]

Invid Earth:
Scott: "can she fly?"
Lunk: "i'm a certified biomaintence engineer!"
*Scott jumps up to the cockpit, shedding his cyclone. starting up the fighter, it roars to life... then sputters and dies*
Scott: "Lunk, i thought you said you were an engineer?"
Lunk: "i am. I'm a certified biomaintenance engineer. not too good with engines and such, but its air conditioning works great!"

[SRoss]

Arc Angel's Lounge, Scott, Ariel, Sera and Lancer sit together at a table. The two Princesses share a book...

Ariel: "Wait! So Scott puts his ... into my ... THAT'S SEX!!!"

Scott: "Yeah, that's the Birds and the Bees."

Ariel: "WAIT! THERE ARE BIRDS AND INSECTS INVOLVED!!!"

Scott: "Umm no dear, that's just a figure of speech."

Sera: "I'm willing to try the act, but do you have to wear that leather mask?"

Lancer: "Um, yes, yes I do."

Scott: (Aside to Lancer) "This is the LAST time we let them borrow books from the Bridge Bunnies."

[glitterboy2098]

could be worse. could have borrowed their instructional material from the Sterling family.

[Alpha 11]

Invid Earth:
Scott: "can she fly?"
Lunk: "i'm a certified biomaintence engineer!"
*Scott jumps up to the cockpit, shedding his cyclone. starting up the fighter, it roars to life... then sputters and dies*
Scott: "Lunk, i thought you said you were an engineer?"
Lunk: "i am. I'm a certified biomaintenance engineer. not too good with engines and such, but its air conditioning works great!"

Arc Angel's Lounge, Scott, Ariel, Sera and Lancer sit together at a table. The two Princesses share a book...

Ariel: "Wait! So Scott puts his ... into my ... THAT'S SEX!!!"

Scott: "Yeah, that's the Birds and the Bees."

Ariel: "WAIT! THERE ARE BIRDS AND INSECTS INVOLVED!!!"

Scott: "Umm no dear, that's just a figure of speech."

Sera: "I'm willing to try the act, but do you have to wear that leather mask?"

Lancer: "Um, yes, yes I do."

Scott: (Aside to Lancer) "This is the LAST time we let them borrow books from the Bridge Bunnies."

could be worse. could have borrowed their instructional material from the Sterling family.

[taalismn]

could be worse. could have borrowed their instructional material from the Sterling family.

Yeah....Dana's first few dates were disasters.
Apparently not every boy can dodge thrown knives as well as Max could.
Fortunately, nobody was seriously injured(psychological trauma not withstanding), though it was Emerson clout and the Sterling mystique that kept criminal charges from being filed.
Oh, and Dana had to live down a rep as a 'psychotic crazy #####'.

[Arnie100]

Lancer: "If you want to join our resistance cell, you have to wrestle with a grizzly bear and have sex with a belly dancer."

Lunk: "Ok."

Later:

Lunk shows up with his clothes torn to shreds: "Now, where's that belly dancer I'm susposed to wrestle with?"

Invid Princesses: "LUNKY-POO!!! How COULD you!? After everything we've done for you!? Were you trying to cheat on US? ALL OF US? Now we're just gonna haveta PUNISH you!!"
Lunk: "Oh, crap...I think I prefer wrestling with the grizzly... "

[taalismn]

Bowie Grant:(facepalming)"This is why I'm glad I only have to contend with the fact that my fiancee is the Sorta Secret Evil Empress of the Universe...."
Sean: "'Sorta Secret'? Isn't that like 'sorta pregnant'? You are or you aren't, one or the other."
Bowie: "Because even if I tell everybody, it's not like anybody believes me. thus preserving the secret. Do you? Believe me, that is?"
Sean: "No."
Bowie: "See?"
Sean: "Ah."
Bowie: "You get it?"
Sean:"...no, not really."
Bowie: "See? It's working!"

[SRoss]

could be worse. could have borrowed their instructional material from the Sterling family.

Yeah....Dana's first few dates were disasters.
Apparently not every boy can dodge thrown knives as well as Max could.
Fortunately, nobody was seriously injured(psychological trauma not withstanding), though it was Emerson clout and the Sterling mystique that kept criminal charges from being filed.
Oh, and Dana had to live down a rep as a 'psychotic crazy #####'.

Other Unsuccessful Titles

The Secret to Finding the Right Guy by Lynn Minmei

[Arnie100]

Bowie: "Or is it because Musica's standing behind you??"
Sean: "Yep. And the fact that she has a knife at my back doesn't mean anything at all...also the fact that she threatened electro-shock therapy. Y'know the kind Karno's been getting? So, no. I don't believe she's the evil empress! She's a kind, gentle loving soul! Sheesh, Bowie...what's wrong with you? (Whispering) Help me!"

[SRoss]

Arc Angel Medical Bay.

Angelo: (In Body Cast) "What are you in for?"

Marcus: (In Traction) "Broken Back, my C.O. wanted to experiment with something called *Snu Snu*. You?"

Angelo: "Shattered pelvis. My wife's race invented *Snu Snu*."

[Arnie100]

could be worse. could have borrowed their instructional material from the Sterling family.

Yeah....Dana's first few dates were disasters.
Apparently not every boy can dodge thrown knives as well as Max could.
Fortunately, nobody was seriously injured(psychological trauma not withstanding), though it was Emerson clout and the Sterling mystique that kept criminal charges from being filed.
Oh, and Dana had to live down a rep as a 'psychotic crazy #####'.

Other Unsuccessful Titles

The Secret to Finding the Right Guy by Lynn Minmei

How To Serve Man Right (A Cooking Experience) by Hugh Mann

[SRoss]

could be worse. could have borrowed their instructional material from the Sterling family.

Yeah....Dana's first few dates were disasters.
Apparently not every boy can dodge thrown knives as well as Max could.
Fortunately, nobody was seriously injured(psychological trauma not withstanding), though it was Emerson clout and the Sterling mystique that kept criminal charges from being filed.
Oh, and Dana had to live down a rep as a 'psychotic crazy #####'.

Other Unsuccessful Titles

The Secret to Finding the Right Guy by Lynn Minmei

How To Serve Man Right (A Cooking Experience) by Hugh Mann

And she's not even Gura Invid!!!

No wonder the book failed.

[Arnie100]

could be worse. could have borrowed their instructional material from the Sterling family.

Yeah....Dana's first few dates were disasters.
Apparently not every boy can dodge thrown knives as well as Max could.
Fortunately, nobody was seriously injured(psychological trauma not withstanding), though it was Emerson clout and the Sterling mystique that kept criminal charges from being filed.
Oh, and Dana had to live down a rep as a 'psychotic crazy #####'.

Other Unsuccessful Titles

The Secret to Finding the Right Guy by Lynn Minmei

How To Serve Man Right (A Cooking Experience) by Hugh Mann

And she's not even Gura Invid!!!

No wonder the book failed.

Gura Lisa Clone #1: "Did you read some of this stuff!?"
Gura Lisa Clone #2: "Eeeeeewwwww...we don't prepare man that way!"
Gura Lisa Clone #3: "What's a salad?"

[SRoss]

Haydonites Are Too Crunchy by Gura Lisa Clones #1, #2 and #3

[Arnie100]

Improving Your Career by Lynn Kyle

[taalismn]

War and Not-War by Dolza

A Tale of Two SuperDimensional Fortresses by Lisa Hayes-Hunter

[Alpha 11]

could be worse. could have borrowed their instructional material from the Sterling family.

Yeah....Dana's first few dates were disasters.
Apparently not every boy can dodge thrown knives as well as Max could.
Fortunately, nobody was seriously injured(psychological trauma not withstanding), though it was Emerson clout and the Sterling mystique that kept criminal charges from being filed.
Oh, and Dana had to live down a rep as a 'psychotic crazy #####'.

Dana: But I thought...

Lancer: "If you want to join our resistance cell, you have to wrestle with a grizzly bear and have sex with a belly dancer."

Lunk: "Ok."

Later:

Lunk shows up with his clothes torn to shreds: "Now, where's that belly dancer I'm susposed to wrestle with?"

Dr. Lang: "It's up and it's working."

Lisa: "I'm glad you got the reflex engine working."

Dr. Lang: "What reflex engine?"

Lancer: "If you want to join our resistance cell, you have to wrestle with a grizzly bear and have sex with a belly dancer."

Lunk: "Ok."

Later:

Lunk shows up with his clothes torn to shreds: "Now, where's that belly dancer I'm susposed to wrestle with?"

Invid Princesses: "LUNKY-POO!!! How COULD you!? After everything we've done for you!? Were you trying to cheat on US? ALL OF US? Now we're just gonna haveta PUNISH you!!"
Lunk: "Oh, crap...I think I prefer wrestling with the grizzly... "

Bowie Grant:(facepalming)"This is why I'm glad I only have to contend with the fact that my fiancee is the Sorta Secret Evil Empress of the Universe...."
Sean: "'Sorta Secrete'? Isn't that like 'sorta pregnant'? You are or you aren't, one or the other."
Bowie: "Because even if I tell everybody, it's not like anybody believes me. thus preserving the secret. Do you? Believe me, that is?"
Sean: "No."
Bowie: "See?"
Sean: "Ah."
Bowie: "You get it?"
Sean:"...no, not really."
Bowie: "See? It's working!"

[Alpha 11]

could be worse. could have borrowed their instructional material from the Sterling family.

Yeah....Dana's first few dates were disasters.
Apparently not every boy can dodge thrown knives as well as Max could.
Fortunately, nobody was seriously injured(psychological trauma not withstanding), though it was Emerson clout and the Sterling mystique that kept criminal charges from being filed.
Oh, and Dana had to live down a rep as a 'psychotic crazy #####'.

Other Unsuccessful Titles

The Secret to Finding the Right Guy by Lynn Minmei

Bowie: "Or is it because Musica's standing behind you??"
Sean: "Yep. And the fact that she has a knife at my back doesn't mean anything at all...also the fact that she threatened electro-shock therapy. Y'know the kind Karno's been getting? So, no. I don't believe she's the evil empress! She's a kind, gentle loving soul! Sheesh, Bowie...what's wrong with you? (Whispering) Help me!"

Arc Angel Medical Bay.

Angelo: (In Body Cast) "What are you in for?"

Marcus: (In Traction) "Broken Back, my C.O. wanted to experiment with something called *Snu Snu*. You?"

Angelo: "Shattered pelvis. My wife's race invented *Snu Snu*."

could be worse. could have borrowed their instructional material from the Sterling family.

Yeah....Dana's first few dates were disasters.
Apparently not every boy can dodge thrown knives as well as Max could.
Fortunately, nobody was seriously injured(psychological trauma not withstanding), though it was Emerson clout and the Sterling mystique that kept criminal charges from being filed.
Oh, and Dana had to live down a rep as a 'psychotic crazy #####'.

Other Unsuccessful Titles

The Secret to Finding the Right Guy by Lynn Minmei

How To Serve Man Right (A Cooking Experience) by Hugh Mann

could be worse. could have borrowed their instructional material from the Sterling family.

Yeah....Dana's first few dates were disasters.
Apparently not every boy can dodge thrown knives as well as Max could.
Fortunately, nobody was seriously injured(psychological trauma not withstanding), though it was Emerson clout and the Sterling mystique that kept criminal charges from being filed.
Oh, and Dana had to live down a rep as a 'psychotic crazy #####'.

Other Unsuccessful Titles

The Secret to Finding the Right Guy by Lynn Minmei

How To Serve Man Right (A Cooking Experience) by Hugh Mann

And she's not even Gura Invid!!!

No wonder the book failed.

Gura Lisa Clone #1: "Did you read some of this stuff!?"
Gura Lisa Clone #2: "Eeeeeewwwww...we don't prepare man that way!"
Gura Lisa Clone #3: "What's a salad?"

Haydonites Are Too Crunchy by Gura Lisa Clones #1, #2 and #3

Improving Your Career by Lynn Kyle

Zentradi Girls Are Easy by Max Sterling

Zentradi and The Art of Motorcyle Mantainance by Exedore

War and Not-War by Dolza

A Tale of Two SuperDimensional Fortresses by Lisa Hayes-Hunter

[Arnie100]

How To Get Out Of A Bad Relationship by Corg

[Alpha 11]

How To Get Out Of A Bad Relationship by Corg

[SRoss]

Getting Ahead Through Backstabbing by T.R. Edwards

[taalismn]

Exotic Dancing for Fun and Profit by Janice Em

Crush Your Enemies as They Flee Before You: An Idol Singer's Guide to Career Success by Lynn Minmei

[Arnie100]

Getting Ahead Through Backstabbing by T.R. Edwards

Khyron: "HEYYY!!! That was MY idea!!!"

[Arnie100]

A Guide To Anger Management by Anatole Leonard

[SRoss]

Cosmic Pole Dancing, A Complete Pictorial History by Musica

[SRoss]

The Importance of Having a Good Relationship with Your Superiors by Angelo Dante

Respecting the Chain of Command by Dana Stirling

[taalismn]

How to Get Ahead In Business Without Really Trying by The Masters R.

[taalismn]

What Really Happened to Karl Riber:

"Try to get in my baby daughter's panties then run off to Mars? Or so you claim?" Admiral Donald Hayes muttered as he laid the sights of his high-powered hunting rifle on the distant figure who SHOULD have been on his way to Mars, or at least not several hundred miles away in a cabin in Alaska. "I don't think so."
Interestingly enough, Karl Riber's kit bag would make it to Mars, where it was tossed on the cabin assigned him. Everybody at Sara just figured he'd show up on a later flight with some story for his delayed arrival.

[Arnie100]

Admiral Hayes: "Im sorry he ditched you for Mars, honey. He really was an @sshole. You're better off in the service! That way, you don't have to worry about men cheating on you! (And I can keep a better eye on you)"

[taalismn]

What Really Happened to Karl Riber:

"Karl, don't go in there! THa-(FWHOP*HSSSTTTT!!!!)--- airlock's not fixed yet....Stupid daydreamer."

"Wr gather here to pay our respects to our brave colleagues who died working to advance Humanity in their work on this lonely outpost of Human exploration. Our colleagues who paid the price of developing the far frontier in the construction of Mars Base Sara.
And we also pay our respects to Karl Riber, who choked to death on a snack peanut from a can he'd smuggled aboard in defiance of military regulations."

"Ribeer! Quit fooling around with that thing! It might be (#BLAM!#)-loaded...."

"Not sure I want to send a notification of death to the Riber family explaining he died in a freak accident involving an electric toothbrush...."

"The gerbil's going to survive. I can't say the same for MIster Riber..."

"Death by 'Vadering'? Really?"

[Alpha 11]

Max: "I'm glad my Beta got assigned to your Alpha because I like you."

Rick: "Well, I like you, too."

Max: "No, I mean I like you like you."

Rick: "This is awkward."

Well, Max better be sleeping with one eye open from now on. I don't think Mirya will be very forgiving.

Getting Ahead Through Backstabbing by T.R. Edwards

Exotic Dancing for Fun and Profit by Janice Em

Crush Your Enemies as They Flee Before You: An Idol Singer's Guide to Career Success by Lynn Minmei

Getting Ahead Through Backstabbing by T.R. Edwards

Khyron: "HEYYY!!! That was MY idea!!!"

A Guide To Anger Management by Anatole Leonard

Cosmic Pole Dancing, A Complete Pictorial History by Musica

The Importance of Having a Good Relationship with Your Superiors by Angelo Dante

Respecting the Chain of Command by Dana Stirling

How to Get Ahead In Business Without Really Trying by The Masters R.

Karl Riber: "My girlfriend is so hot! We're going to dock in orbit as soon as I get out of here."

Friend: "You mean the brunette?"

Karl: "Yeah.."

Friend: "You're gonna need the 'Jaws of Life' for that one, Karl. That gal is more uptight than Dolza trying to use a bidet."

What Really Happened to Karl Riber:

"Try to get in my baby daughter's panties then run off to Mars? Or so you claim?" Admiral Donald Hayes muttered as he laid the sights of his high-powered hunting rifle on the distant figure who SHOULD have been on his way to Mars, or at least not several hundred miles away in a cabin in Alaska. "I don't think so."
Interestingly enough, Karl Riber's kit bag would make it to Mars, where it was tossed on the cabin assigned him. Everybody at Sara just figured he'd show up on a later flight with some story for his delayed arrival.

Admiral Hayes: "Im sorry he ditched you for Mars, honey. He really was an @sshole. You're better off in the service! That way, you don't have to worry about men cheating on you! (And I can keep a better eye on you)"

What Really Happened to Karl Riber:

"Karl, don't go in there! THa-(FWHOP*HSSSTTTT!!!!)--- airlock's not fixed yet....Stupid daydreamer."

"Wr gather here to pay our respects to our brave colleagues who died working to advance Humanity in their work on this lonely outpost of Human exploration. Our colleagues who paid the price of developing the far frontier in the construction of Mars Base Sara.
And we also pay our respects to Karl Riber, who choked to death on a snack peanut from a can he'd smuggled aboard in defiance of military regulations."

"Ribeer! Quit fooling around with that thing! It might be (#BLAM!#)-loaded...."

"Not sure I want to send a notification of death to the Riber family explaining he died in a freak accident involving an electric toothbrush...."

"The gerbil's going to survive. I can't say the same for MIster Riber..."

"Death by 'Vadering'? Really?"

[SRoss]

"Yes, Colonel Edwards, your addition to the flight IS last minute, but we found a place for you. Here we go, seat 39B."

"Hi, the name's Riber, could we switch seats, I prefer the window."

"Sure. Funny that click sounded just like a pressure det ..."

"Hayse here. What! An onboard explosion! Two casualties only. That's good. A bomb you say? Damn AUL, I'll have some of their bases bombed."

[Arnie100]

Admiral Hayes: "Do I feel bad that all these accidents keep happening to Mr. Riber? Absolutely NOT!! Now...where were we? Will kindly please stop asking about Mr. Riber? You just might find yourself transferred! Where?? Hhmmmm...Mars sounds like a good idea right now...

[taalismn]

Rick: "So we have the love triangle.."
MInmei: "We've had the ultra close-up shot of my corneas..."
Lisa: "The tragic misunderstanding..."
Max:"The antagonistic relationship..."
Kim: "Means we have to have a hospital scene..."
Lynn Kyle: "GGGAHHHH!!! YOU BROKE MY KNEECAPS!!!!"
Ben: (holding crowbar) "It was you or me, bro, and I choose you..."