Robotech Blooper Reels

[taalismn]

[

"By the way Minmie, did you know, according to Primatologists, Howler Monkeys have the singular ability to find the sleeper who ISN'T a morning person?"

Same study that proved that mosquitos ALWAYS go for the ear?

[SRoss]

Things That Drive Lynn Minmei Mad:

"THIS IS MY TIME TO BE A ... EEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!"

Wardrobe malfunctions...

[taalismn]

Things That Drive Lynn Minmei Mad:

"THIS IS MY TIME TO BE A ... EEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!"

Wardrobe malfunctions...

Specifically: Kyle's wardrobe malfunction.

[Alpha 11]

SPORT RELATED PHRASES YOU NEVER WANT TO HEAR A FULL SIZED ZENTREADI SAY

#KER-CHAK!#
"PULL!!!!!!"

Bioroid Pilot: "Has anyone seen our hoversleds?"

Things That Drive Lynn Minmei Mad:

David Hasselhof’s Iced Coffee Jingle:
“I’m so thirsty for your love I can’t hide it...”
“AUGH! MAKE THE BAD NOISES -STOP-!”

Things That Drive Lynn Minmei Mad:

David Hasselhof’s Iced Coffee Jingle:
“I’m so thirsty for your love I can’t hide it...”
“AUGH! MAKE THE BAD NOISES -STOP-!”

Kyle: "So the Tiny Tim Relaxation tapes didn't help?"

Things That Drive Lynn Minmei Mad:
Drug Intervention:
“Don’t wanna have to go to rehab...”
“NOOOOO!!!!! MY COOOKKKKEEEEEE!!!!”

Things That Drive Lynn Minmei Mad:

"What!? There's alternate realities with singers better then ME?!"

Things That Drive Lynn Minmei Mad:
Painting empty seascape on the inside of her contact lenses:
“NNNNOOOOO!!!! I’M ADRIFT! AND ALONE!!! ALONE AND ADRIFT! IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN!!!! AND I KEEP HEARING PEOPLE IN MY HEAD!!!!”

[Alpha 11]

Things That Drive Lynn Minmei Mad:
Painting empty seascape on the inside of her contact lenses:
“NNNNOOOOO!!!! I’M ADRIFT! AND ALONE!!! ALONE AND ADRIFT! IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN!!!! AND I KEEP HEARING PEOPLE IN MY HEAD!!!!”

Therapist: "There, there...Minmei...everything will be alright...you're under a LOT of stress..."
Minmei: “NNNNOOOOO!!!! I KEEP HEARING PEOPLE IN MY HEAD!!!!”

Things That Drive Lynn Minmei Mad:

Corg keeps requesting the Flower of Life song at club performances.

Things That Drive Lynn Minmei Mad:

Minmei: "WHATDAYAMEAN I'M OPENING FOR MIKU HATSUNE!!!"

Things That Drive Lynn Minmei Mad:
White Noise Generators.
" "

Things That Drive Lynn Minmei Mad:
White Noise Generators.
" "

Hugh Mann: "Funny, I don't hear anything."

Things That Drive Lynn Minmei Mad:
White Noise Generators.
" "

Hugh Mann: "Funny, I don't hear anything."

Rick Hunter: " "

Things That Drive Lynn Minmei Mad:

Minmei: "Howard Stern kicked ME off of 'America's Got Talent'! What does HE know about talent?!"

Things That Drive Lynn Minmei Mad:
Rolling Stone Magazine.
"WHAT THE -HELL-?! -KYLE- MADE THE COVER OF ROLLING STONE?! AND I -HAVEN'T-?! WHERE'S THE JUSTICE IN THIS CRUEL WORLD!??? ARGHHHH!!!"

[Alpha 11]

Things That Drive Lynn Minmei Mad:

"TOMMY STILL WON'T WRITE ME A MAN!!!"

Things That Drive Lynn Minmei Mad:

Tilt-a-whirl stage sets.
"YUUGHHHHBLARGABLARGAYUGGGAAAHHHHAAAA!!!!"

Things That Drive Lynn Minmei Mad:

Minmei: "Seriously, who writes this stuff?!"
Ghost Edwards (typing furiously): "MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Revenge is finally MINE!!"

Things That Drive Lynn Minmei Mad:


Zentraedi haute cuisine:

"SQUID DOESN'T GO WITH CHOCOLATE CHIPS!!!! YAAAAAGGGHHH!!!"

Things That Drive Lynn Minmei Mad:

Minmei: "Seriously, who writes this stuff?!"
Ghost Edwards (typing furiously): "MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Revenge is finally MINE!!"

Tommy: (Holding a Proton Pack) "Step away from the typewriter!"

Things That Drive Lynn Minmei Mad:


Howler monkeys.
"OoooooTTTTOOOTTTOUUTTTOOOOTTTTTRRROFFFOOOTTTTTTT!!!"
"SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!! YOU DAMN APES!!! SHUT UP!!!!!!!!AAAAAGGGHHH!!!"

Things That Drive Lynn Minmei Mad:


Howler monkeys.
"OoooooTTTTOOOTTTOUUTTTOOOOTTTTTRRROFFFOOOTTTTTTT!!!"
"SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!! YOU DAMN APES!!! SHUT UP!!!!!!!!AAAAAGGGHHH!!!"

"By the way Minmie, did you know, according to Primatologists, Howler Monkeys have the singular ability to find the sleeper who ISN'T a morning person?"

[

"By the way Minmie, did you know, according to Primatologists, Howler Monkeys have the singular ability to find the sleeper who ISN'T a morning person?"

Same study that proved that mosquitos ALWAYS go for the ear?

[Alpha 11]

Things That Drive Lynn Minmei Mad:

"THIS IS MY TIME TO BE A ... EEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!"

Wardrobe malfunctions...

Things That Drive Lynn Minmei Mad:

"THIS IS MY TIME TO BE A ... EEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!"

Wardrobe malfunctions...

Specifically: Kyle's wardrobe malfunction.

[Arnie100]

Things That Drive Lynn Minmei Mad:

"THIS IS MY TIME TO BE A ... EEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!"

Wardrobe malfunctions...

Specifically: Kyle's wardrobe malfunction.

Ghost Edwards: "THAT was KYLE?! EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!"

[taalismn]

Kyle: "See?! Bullet holes! This one YOU put in me!!!"
Edwards: "I didn't think I'd shot you THERE!"

[Arnie100]

Kyle: "See?! Bullet holes! This one YOU put in me!!!"
Edwards: "I didn't think I'd shot you THERE!"

Kyle: "Wait, you're right...that was Minmei...I don't remember how that one happened!"

[SRoss]

Kyle: "See?! Bullet holes! This one YOU put in me!!!"
Edwards: "I didn't think I'd shot you THERE!"

Kyle: "Wait, you're right...that was Minmei...I don't remember how that one happened!"

Minmei: "No, I shot Edwards! Like this!" #BLAM!!!# "You, I gave ligature marks to!" (Wraps Rick's silk flying scarf around Kyle's throat and tightens)

[SRoss]

Annie: (Innocently) "What's Yaoi?"

Lunk, Rand, Lancer & Scott: "Choke! Sputter!"

[SRoss]

Sera: (Innocently) "What's Yuri?"

Rook & Lancer: " "

Ariel: " "

[taalismn]

Lunk: "Hey, SCott, how's the Alpha flying?"
Scott:(over radio)"Handling just fine! You did a good job repairing this thing! Only problem is this strange sou...ssssss....whatTHEHELL?!AUUUGGHHH!!!!!!"
Rand: "Hey, what's wrong with Scott?! Why's he flying like that?! Something wrong with his plane?!"
Lunk: "...*gulp* I think I remember where I left my pet rattlesnake..."

[Arnie100]

Lunk: "Hey, SCott, how's the Alpha flying?"
Scott:(over radio)"Handling just fine! You did a good job repairing this thing! Only problem is this strange sou...ssssss....whatTHEHELL?!AUUUGGHHH!!!!!!"
Rand: "Hey, what's wrong with Scott?! Why's he flying like that?! Something wrong with his plane?!"
Lunk: "...*gulp* I think I remember where I left my pet rattlesnake..."

Annie: "Lunk, you never told me you had a snake!"
Lunk: "The snake me do it...?"

[Alpha 11]

Things That Drive Lynn Minmei Mad:

"THIS IS MY TIME TO BE A ... EEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!"

Wardrobe malfunctions...

Specifically: Kyle's wardrobe malfunction.

Ghost Edwards: "THAT was KYLE?! EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!"

Kyle: "See?! Bullet holes! This one YOU put in me!!!"
Edwards: "I didn't think I'd shot you THERE!"

Kyle: "See?! Bullet holes! This one YOU put in me!!!"
Edwards: "I didn't think I'd shot you THERE!"

Kyle: "Wait, you're right...that was Minmei...I don't remember how that one happened!"

Kyle: "See?! Bullet holes! This one YOU put in me!!!"
Edwards: "I didn't think I'd shot you THERE!"

Kyle: "Wait, you're right...that was Minmei...I don't remember how that one happened!"

Minmei: "No, I shot Edwards! Like this!" #BLAM!!!# "You, I gave ligature marks to!" (Wraps Rick's silk flying scarf around Kyle's throat and tightens)

Breetai: "...that's all there is to it, I guess. From the moment I laid eyes on her, I knew she was the girl for me."

Psychiatrist: "How long have you been serving with Commander Exedor?"

Minmei: "So... I... slipped. And...uh... I landed on it..when I fell..."

Paramedic (sternly): "A microphone was never intended to be used in this manner."

Rick: "Just imagine it, Max... An entire universe out there swirling with cosmic energy.. Millions of stars and planets and space ships all out there floating in the nebulous ocean of lights and energy like drops of water in the seas of reality..."

Max: "Let me have another hit off that pipe."

Sammy: "Sir! Our thermal-imaging equipment is getting mixed readings! And Max's signal is getting fainter!"

Captain Gloval (slamming fist on armrest): "Damn it! Ok! Send in Skull Squadron! And give me all-call!"

Sammy: "All-call open, Sir!"

Captain Gloval: "Attention crew of the SDF-1! From this moment forward, any crew member caught having sexual relations with a non-micronized Zendradi will be COURT-MARTIALED."

Miriya (embarrassed): "I'm really sorry about this."

Lunk: "Rand, I like you."

Rand: "Well, gee, Lunk. I like you, too. You're a great addition to the team."

Lunk: "No. I mean I like you like you."

Rand: "Well.............. This is awkward."

[Alpha 11]

Annie: (Innocently) "What's Yaoi?"

Lunk, Rand, Lancer & Scott: "Choke! Sputter!"

Sera: (Innocently) "What's Yuri?"

Rook & Lancer: " "

Ariel: " "

SDF-1: "...and THEN they wanted me to actually transform into a humanoid shape!!"

SDF-3 (rolling eyes): "LOL! Those morons! ....Bartender, another round!"

[Alpha 11]

Lunk: "Hey, SCott, how's the Alpha flying?"
Scott:(over radio)"Handling just fine! You did a good job repairing this thing! Only problem is this strange sou...ssssss....whatTHEHELL?!AUUUGGHHH!!!!!!"
Rand: "Hey, what's wrong with Scott?! Why's he flying like that?! Something wrong with his plane?!"
Lunk: "...*gulp* I think I remember where I left my pet rattlesnake..."

Lunk: "Hey, SCott, how's the Alpha flying?"
Scott:(over radio)"Handling just fine! You did a good job repairing this thing! Only problem is this strange sou...ssssss....whatTHEHELL?!AUUUGGHHH!!!!!!"
Rand: "Hey, what's wrong with Scott?! Why's he flying like that?! Something wrong with his plane?!"
Lunk: "...*gulp* I think I remember where I left my pet rattlesnake..."

Annie: "Lunk, you never told me you had a snake!"
Lunk: "The snake me do it...?"

[SRoss]

Haydonite: "Now I will destroy these humans once and for ..."

#CRASH!!!#

Scott's wildly out of control Alpha slams into the Haydonite.

Haydonite: "It's (SPARK) not (FIZT) fair."

Protoculture Enhanced Rattlesnake: (Looking at the Haydonite) " "

Haydonite: " "

[taalismn]

Scott: "Okay...this has been one helluva day..."
Rook: "Yeah, the Invid almost find us...."
Annie: "Rand almost drowns...."
Rand: "Then that bear shows up..."
Lancer: "Then beats the hell out of us for leaving our campfire unattended."
Scott: "Admiral Hunter never told us about mutant bears with opposable thumbs.."
Lunk: "Damn, could that thing swing a mean shovel..."

[Arnie100]

Scott: "Okay...this has been one helluva day..."
Rook: "Yeah, the Invid almost find us...."
Annie: "Rand almost drowns...."
Rand: "Then that bear shows up..."
Lancer: "Then beats the hell out of us for leaving our campfire unattended."
Scott: "Admiral Hunter never told us about mutant bears with opposable thumbs.."
Lunk: "Damn, could that thing swing a mean shovel..."

Scott: "Ariel's mother invites us over for dinner..."
Ariel: "Annie keeps finding new 'pets'..."
Annie: "I coulda had a bear..."
Lunk: "Those princesses keep showing up..."
Rand: "I can't believe I almost drowned..."
Lancer: "Annie found my old yearbook..."

[Alrik Vas]

[SCENE: The Regiss watches over her creations as they evolve. Patiently and carefully she has plotted the course of her race. The creatures of the Genesis Pits fight for survival in a primordial game of life and death. Each day there are new surprises and old disappointments. Yet she watches carefully, she guides the work, there is one such being in the depths of the Pits that holds her interest, one creature that has withstood the tests. This being may very well be the salvation of her race, the end of their journey.]

The Regiss: [looking down upon the pit, creatures mate, eat, and die, her gaze fixes on a single spot in the brush where a bright red splotch can be seen beneath the canopy, a high pitched whirring sound emits from it] Yes, my child. I do not know where you came from, but when I learn your secrets my people will be complete...

Ultimate Power in the Universe: [a large box, roughly six feet tall, colored red with wheels on the bottom emerges and skates down an animal trail] PETITE COLA MAKES THE GOOD TIMES ROLL, HAVE A PEANUT.

Regiss: [lovingly] Perfection.

[taalismn]

[

Regiss: [lovingly] Perfection.

Good God...the Regis is a cola addict.

[Arnie100]

(Reflex Point)

Regess: "I now have the ultimate power in the universe!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" (Holding a can of Petite Cola)
Corg: (Also holding a can) "Precious...my precious...my own..."

(Scott's camp)

Ariel: "All of a sudden, I have a craving for soda..."
Sera: "Me, too."

[Alpha 11]

Haydonite: "Now I will destroy these humans once and for ..."

#CRASH!!!#

Scott's wildly out of control Alpha slams into the Haydonite.

Haydonite: "It's (SPARK) not (FIZT) fair."

Protoculture Enhanced Rattlesnake: (Looking at the Haydonite) " "

Haydonite: " "

Scott: "Okay...this has been one helluva day..."
Rook: "Yeah, the Invid almost find us...."
Annie: "Rand almost drowns...."
Rand: "Then that bear shows up..."
Lancer: "Then beats the hell out of us for leaving our campfire unattended."
Scott: "Admiral Hunter never told us about mutant bears with opposable thumbs.."
Lunk: "Damn, could that thing swing a mean shovel..."

Scott: "Okay...this has been one helluva day..."
Rook: "Yeah, the Invid almost find us...."
Annie: "Rand almost drowns...."
Rand: "Then that bear shows up..."
Lancer: "Then beats the hell out of us for leaving our campfire unattended."
Scott: "Admiral Hunter never told us about mutant bears with opposable thumbs.."
Lunk: "Damn, could that thing swing a mean shovel..."

Scott: "Ariel's mother invites us over for dinner..."
Ariel: "Annie keeps finding new 'pets'..."
Annie: "I coulda had a bear..."
Lunk: "Those princesses keep showing up..."
Rand: "I can't believe I almost drowned..."
Lancer: "Annie found my old yearbook..."

[SCENE: The Regiss watches over her creations as they evolve. Patiently and carefully she has plotted the course of her race. The creatures of the Genesis Pits fight for survival in a primordial game of life and death. Each day there are new surprises and old disappointments. Yet she watches carefully, she guides the work, there is one such being in the depths of the Pits that holds her interest, one creature that has withstood the tests. This being may very well be the salvation of her race, the end of their journey.]

The Regiss: [looking down upon the pit, creatures mate, eat, and die, her gaze fixes on a single spot in the brush where a bright red splotch can be seen beneath the canopy, a high pitched whirring sound emits from it] Yes, my child. I do not know where you came from, but when I learn your secrets my people will be complete...

Ultimate Power in the Universe: [a large box, roughly six feet tall, colored red with wheels on the bottom emerges and skates down an animal trail] PETITE COLA MAKES THE GOOD TIMES ROLL, HAVE A PEANUT.

Regiss: [lovingly] Perfection.

[

Regiss: [lovingly] Perfection.

Good God...the Regis is a cola addict.

(Reflex Point)

Regess: "I now have the ultimate power in the universe!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" (Holding a can of Petite Cola)
Corg: (Also holding a can) "Precious...my precious...my own..."

(Scott's camp)

Ariel: "All of a sudden, I have a craving for soda..."
Sera: "Me, too."

[taalismn]

Why Scott Bernard Has Reason to Hate Rtech: Love, Live, Alive

Ariel: "It's official! It's canon! Sera's pregnant! Do you know what this means?"
Scott: "Ah...Lancer's going to be ambushing me with heaps of baby pictures and tales of technicolor baby puke?"
Ariel: "Scott! We must be happy for them! But it means Sera's with child before I am! A thousand fans and fanfics are now canonically wrong in their betting the first Invid-Human child born of love would be a Bernard by birth! It means...it means this week we have our work set clear before us! We will be on our way to being not merely a happy couple, but a family!"
Scott:"...I'll see if my G.I. health insurance covers home delivery of medical supplies. I don't think I have enough IV bags stocked...."

[SRoss]

(Reflex Point)

Regess: "I now have the ultimate power in the universe!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" (Holding a can of Petite Cola)
Corg: (Also holding a can) "Precious...my precious...my own..."

(Scott's camp)

Ariel: "All of a sudden, I have a craving for soda..."
Sera: "Me, too."

Scott: "It's official. We're boned!!!"

[SRoss]

Why Scott Bernard Has Reason to Hate Rtech: Love, Live, Alive

Ariel: "It's official! It's canon! Sera's pregnant! Do you know what this means?"
Scott: "Ah...Lancer's going to be ambushing me with heaps of baby pictures and tales of technicolor baby puke?"
Ariel: "Scott! We must be happy for them! But it means Sera's with child before I am! A thousand fans and fanfics are now canonically wrong in their betting the first Invid-Human child born of love would be a Bernard by birth! It means...it means this week we have our work set clear before us! We will be on our way to being not merely a happy couple, but a family!"
Scott:"...I'll see if my G.I. health insurance covers home delivery of medical supplies. I don't think I have enough IV bags stocked...."

Sparks: "Sir, Commander Bernard just volunteered for any suicide mission and/or long-range reconn we could come up with."

Vince: "I guess Ariel heard about Sera."

[SRoss]

Jean: "Ok Sera, here is everything we have on human physiology during pregnancy."

Sera: (Skimming the book) "AT LAST!!! I'M GONNA HAVE CLEAVAGE!!!"


@#$%^&* censers!

[Alrik Vas]

[SDF-1 Bridge: The crew watches as Khyron's forces are pulled off the ship by a recall beam]

Vanessa: Captain, the enemy forces seem to be retreating!

Lisa: It's amazing they're pulling back like that, they nearly had us that time. Captain, should we have the Veritech squadrons pursue?"

Gloval: They're leaving now and we're safe. Let's not press our luck, or theirs.

Claudia: But why are they...? Captain! The Zentraid mecha are taking formation!

Gloval: What? Vanessa, punch it up.

[The screen shows battle pods moving in space, eventually their positions form the image of a giant smiley face.]

Gloval: Thundering Asteroids...

[Zentradi Flagship bridge, Breetai and Exedore stand in the command bubble]

Exedore: Maneuver complete, your excellency.

Breetai: [Grunts approval]

[SRoss]

The Petite Cola machine stealthily rolls up on it's enemy...

Annie: "OOOooooo cola!"

She makes like she's reaching for change and PULLS OUT A CHAINSAW.

#RRRRRRRIIIIIPPP!!!#

Annie: (Examining the gutted remains) "WHAT! NO MINT FLAVOUR!"

Annie kicks the machine off a cliff.

[taalismn]

The Cast of Robotech Bloopers(a Quick Capsule Guide)

Rick Hunter---Between having two women violently competing to claim his manhood, has been composing a list of the various ways to kill T.R. Edwards...the list is now in the five digits.

Lisa Hayes---Has taken the saying ‘love is a battlefield’ to heart. With artillery, air strikes, snipers, and field interrogations/torture.

Lynn Minmei---The Minmei you DON’T see in the series; sly, conniving, manipulative, and evil, and on her way to running the local yakuza and tong cells.

Max Sterling---Nice, polite, annoyingly perfect. The Ned Flanders of the Bloopers.

Miriya Sterling---Road terror, barbecue launcher, gunship parent.

Ben Dixon---Hasn’t figured out if he’s Moe or Curley, as long as he isn't permanently DEAD.

Captain Gloval---Working hard to prove that getting older doesn’t make one any less active, cunning, or sexy. Means to out-do Sean Connery in those respects.

Claudia Grant---Regarded and feared by some as possibly the most adept poisoner since the Borgias. Mere mention of ‘pineapple salad’ is enough to send pilots screaming in terror.

The Bridge Bunnies---Control all organized crime on the SDF-1. Known among the local BDSM crowd as ‘The Three Who Must Be Obeyed’.

Roy Fokker---When he’s not sorta dead and playing ghostly advisor, he’s trying to live down a certain full-noodle calender shoot.

Col. Maistroff---Desperately wishes a man of his talents could find SERIOUS work in stage, screen, or TV; instead he’s cooling his heels on the Bloopers sets.

Emil Lang---Mad Science IS Sexy.

Lynn Kyle---The thread’s punching bag.

Khyron---Actually a pretty nice guy playing the role of a scene-chewing punching bag.

Grel---Second-string straightman and entrepreneur on the side.

Breetai---Has discovered the joys of ####ing with people’s heads.

Exedore---Awarded high honors by the Internet Comedy Committee for ‘Best Deadpan Zinger Delivery’.

Azonia---Wants to stage a corporate uprising on ‘The Apprentice’ just so she can tell Donald Trump “You’re FIRED!”

Rico, Konda, and Bron---Boytoys for Bridge Bunnies.

Dolza---A lot dumber and clueless than he looks. He STILL hasn’t figured out that sex kills(specifically HIM).

Dana Sterling--Not happy being cast as the PMS Avenger. Even less happy that she’s considered a ‘suicide date’.

Louie Nichols---Epitome of technophilic nerd humor.

Angelo Dante---Just happy to be delivering slapstick with real slaps.

Sean Philips---Married with dog collar.

Bowie Grant---Too busy doing triplets to be playing for cheap yucks.

Musica---One of the Three Secret Evil Empresses running the Megaverse(the other two are Annie Labelle and Kasumi Tendo)

Nova Satori---May or may NOT be who she claims to be; there’s evidence there are several running around.

Field Marshal Leonard--- Perfectly content playing the ‘heavy’ but wishes more people would appreciate his Marlon Brando impersonation.

Zor Prime---For a guy who’s been repeatedly mistaken for a transvestite, ZP seems doomed to be a repeat straightman.

The Robotech Masters---Otherwise known as Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbass.

Karno, Sokol, and Darsis--- HAVE learned that sex kills, or at least the prospect of sex tortures...as in electrical shock, white-hot branding irons, and large angry carnivores.

The Regis---’Fad of the week’ doesn’t begin to describe her. Has problems staying away from the Home Shopping Network.

The Regent---Invid redneck; need I say more?

The Pollinator---RABID.

Scott Bernard---Voted ‘Most Likely To Be Killed By Marathon Sex’ by the other cast members.

Ariel(Bernard)---Shy winsome exotic love interest on screen; sex-demon off-camera.

Annie LaBelle---NOt-so-secret disguised eldritch terror.

Rand---Not happy the funniest gags involving him usually involve him being on fire.

Rook Bartley---Has threatened to cross the 4th Wall and fist-of-death anyone humiliating her for a cheap yuck.

Lunk---Used to consider himself blessed he didn’t attract more Blooper attention and could afford to laugh at other cast members, until he got swept up in a running sex gag.

Lancer---Fearful of his/her fans ever learning his nickname growing up was ‘Tubby’.

Sera---Hasn’t quite got comic timing or developed a schtick yet; but she’s practicing and hoping.

Corg---Is learning via first hand experience all the words for fear.

Marlene Rush---To be dead is to snark.

Marcus Rush---Young, inexperienced, and clueless; hasn’t yet found the target bullseye and ‘kick me’ sign pasted on his back by Alex Romero.

Maia Sterling---Is less than happy that her uniform really IS nothing more than skin-paint.

Janice Em---Wants to graduate from ‘prop’ to ‘major character’.

Alex Romero---Nothing’s easier than dying when you’re trying for comedy; so naturally he gets killed a lot.

Commander Daryl Taylor---Wishes Alec Guiness would quit whispering in his ear all the time; “You’re going to die, boy!”

Vince Grant---Is learning that practical jokes with cobalt grenades, especially when wired to T.R. Edwards’ pillow, can be FUN.

General Reinhardt---Still hasn’t figured out why he hasn’t gotten any smart-aleck dialogue or sex scenes.

Sparks---Probably the ONLY person on the Bridge of the SDF-4 who knows what’s really going on. Hates being called ‘Radar’.

T.R. Edwards---Has problems understanding why NOBODY likes him.

[Alpha 11]

Why Scott Bernard Has Reason to Hate Rtech: Love, Live, Alive

Ariel: "It's official! It's canon! Sera's pregnant! Do you know what this means?"
Scott: "Ah...Lancer's going to be ambushing me with heaps of baby pictures and tales of technicolor baby puke?"
Ariel: "Scott! We must be happy for them! But it means Sera's with child before I am! A thousand fans and fanfics are now canonically wrong in their betting the first Invid-Human child born of love would be a Bernard by birth! It means...it means this week we have our work set clear before us! We will be on our way to being not merely a happy couple, but a family!"
Scott:"...I'll see if my G.I. health insurance covers home delivery of medical supplies. I don't think I have enough IV bags stocked...."

(Reflex Point)

Regess: "I now have the ultimate power in the universe!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" (Holding a can of Petite Cola)
Corg: (Also holding a can) "Precious...my precious...my own..."

(Scott's camp)

Ariel: "All of a sudden, I have a craving for soda..."
Sera: "Me, too."

Scott: "It's official. We're boned!!!"

Why Scott Bernard Has Reason to Hate Rtech: Love, Live, Alive

Ariel: "It's official! It's canon! Sera's pregnant! Do you know what this means?"
Scott: "Ah...Lancer's going to be ambushing me with heaps of baby pictures and tales of technicolor baby puke?"
Ariel: "Scott! We must be happy for them! But it means Sera's with child before I am! A thousand fans and fanfics are now canonically wrong in their betting the first Invid-Human child born of love would be a Bernard by birth! It means...it means this week we have our work set clear before us! We will be on our way to being not merely a happy couple, but a family!"
Scott:"...I'll see if my G.I. health insurance covers home delivery of medical supplies. I don't think I have enough IV bags stocked...."

Sparks: "Sir, Commander Bernard just volunteered for any suicide mission and/or long-range reconn we could come up with."

Vince: "I guess Ariel heard about Sera."

[Alpha 11]

Jean: "Ok Sera, here is everything we have on human physiology during pregnancy."

Sera: (Skimming the book) "AT LAST!!! I'M GONNA HAVE CLEAVAGE!!!"


@#$%^&* censers!

[SDF-1 Bridge: The crew watches as Khyron's forces are pulled off the ship by a recall beam]

Vanessa: Captain, the enemy forces seem to be retreating!

Lisa: It's amazing they're pulling back like that, they nearly had us that time. Captain, should we have the Veritech squadrons pursue?"

Gloval: They're leaving now and we're safe. Let's not press our luck, or theirs.

Claudia: But why are they...? Captain! The Zentraid mecha are taking formation!

Gloval: What? Vanessa, punch it up.

[The screen shows battle pods moving in space, eventually their positions form the image of a giant smiley face.]

Gloval: Thundering Asteroids...

[Zentradi Flagship bridge, Breetai and Exedore stand in the command bubble]

Exedore: Maneuver complete, your excellency.

Breetai: [Grunts approval]

The Petite Cola machine stealthily rolls up on it's enemy...

Annie: "OOOooooo cola!"

She makes like she's reaching for change and PULLS OUT A CHAINSAW.

#RRRRRRRIIIIIPPP!!!#

Annie: (Examining the gutted remains) "WHAT! NO MINT FLAVOUR!"

Annie kicks the machine off a cliff.

The Cast of Robotech Bloopers(a Quick Capsule Guide)

Rick Hunter---Between having two women violently competing to claim his manhood, has been composing a list of the various ways to kill T.R. Edwards...the list is now in the five digits.

Lisa Hayes---Has taken the saying ‘love is a battlefield’ to heart. With artillery, air strikes, snipers, and field interrogations/torture.

Lynn Minmei---The Minmei you DON’T see in the series; sly, conniving, manipulative, and evil, and on her way to running the local yakuza and tong cells.

Max Sterling---Nice, polite, annoyingly perfect. The Ned Flanders of the Bloopers.

Miriya Sterling---Road terror, barbecue launcher, gunship parent.

Ben Dixon---Hasn’t figured out if he’s Moe or Curley, as long as he isn't permanently DEAD.

Captain Gloval---Working hard to prove that getting older doesn’t make one any less active, cunning, or sexy. Means to out-do Sean Connery in those respects.

Claudia Grant---Regarded and feared by some as possibly the most adept poisoner since the Borgias. Mere mention of ‘pineapple salad’ is enough to send pilots screaming in terror.

The Bridge Bunnies---Control all organized crime on the SDF-1. Known among the local BDSM crowd as ‘The Three Who Must Be Obeyed’.

Roy Fokker---When he’s not sorta dead and playing ghostly advisor, he’s trying to live down a certain full-noodle calender shoot.

Col. Maistroff---Desperately wishes a man of his talents could find SERIOUS work in stage, screen, or TV; instead he’s cooling his heels on the Bloopers sets.

Emil Lang---Mad Science IS Sexy.

Lynn Kyle---The thread’s punching bag.

Khyron---Actually a pretty nice guy playing the role of a scene-chewing punching bag.

Grel---Second-string straightman and entrepreneur on the side.

Breetai---Has discovered the joys of ####ing with people’s heads.

Exedore---Awarded high honors by the Internet Comedy Committee for ‘Best Deadpan Zinger Delivery’.

Azonia---Wants to stage a corporate uprising on ‘The Apprentice’ just so she can tell Donald Trump “You’re FIRED!”

Rico, Konda, and Bron---Boytoys for Bridge Bunnies.

Dolza---A lot dumber and clueless than he looks. He STILL hasn’t figured out that sex kills(specifically HIM).

Dana Sterling--Not happy being cast as the PMS Avenger. Even less happy that she’s considered a ‘suicide date’.

Louie Nichols---Epitome of technophilic nerd humor.

Angelo Dante---Just happy to be delivering slapstick with real slaps.

Sean Philips---Married with dog collar.

Bowie Grant---Too busy doing triplets to be playing for cheap yucks.

Musica---One of the Three Secret Evil Empresses running the Megaverse(the other two are Annie Labelle and Kasumi Tendo)

Nova Satori---May or may NOT be who she claims to be; there’s evidence there are several running around.

Field Marshal Leonard--- Perfectly content playing the ‘heavy’ but wishes more people would appreciate his Marlon Brando impersonation.

Zor Prime---For a guy who’s been repeatedly mistaken for a transvestite, ZP seems doomed to be a repeat straightman.

The Robotech Masters---Otherwise known as Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbass.

Karno, Sokol, and Darsis--- HAVE learned that sex kills, or at least the prospect of sex tortures...as in electrical shock, white-hot branding irons, and large angry carnivores.

The Regis---’Fad of the week’ doesn’t begin to describe her. Has problems staying away from the Home Shopping Network.

The Regent---Invid redneck; need I say more?

The Pollinator---RABID.

Scott Bernard---Voted ‘Most Likely To Be Killed By Marathon Sex’ by the other cast members.

Ariel(Bernard)---Shy winsome exotic love interest on screen; sex-demon off-camera.

Annie LaBelle---NOt-so-secret disguised eldritch terror.

Rand---Not happy the funniest gags involving him usually involve him being on fire.

Rook Bartley---Has threatened to cross the 4th Wall and fist-of-death anyone humiliating her for a cheap yuck.

Lunk---Used to consider himself blessed he didn’t attract more Blooper attention and could afford to laugh at other cast members, until he got swept up in a running sex gag.

Lancer---Fearful of his/her fans ever learning his nickname growing up was ‘Tubby’.

Sera---Hasn’t quite got comic timing or developed a schtick yet; but she’s practicing and hoping.

Corg---Is learning via first hand experience all the words for fear.

Marlene Rush---To be dead is to snark.

Marcus Rush---Young, inexperienced, and clueless; hasn’t yet found the target bullseye and ‘kick me’ sign pasted on his back by Alex Romero.

Maia Sterling---Is less than happy that her uniform really IS nothing more than skin-paint.

Janice Em---Wants to graduate from ‘prop’ to ‘major character’.

Alex Romero---Nothing’s easier than dying when you’re trying for comedy; so naturally he gets killed a lot.

Commander Daryl Taylor---Wishes Alec Guiness would quit whispering in his ear all the time; “You’re going to die, boy!”

Vince Grant---Is learning that practical jokes with cobalt grenades, especially when wired to T.R. Edwards’ pillow, can be FUN.

General Reinhardt---Still hasn’t figured out why he hasn’t gotten any smart-aleck dialogue or sex scenes.

Sparks---Probably the ONLY person on the Bridge of the SDF-4 who knows what’s really going on. Hates being called ‘Radar’.

T.R. Edwards---Has problems understanding why NOBODY likes him.

VERY nice list. And great sumeres of each person.

[Arnie100]

The Cast of Robotech Bloopers(a Quick Capsule Guide)

Rick Hunter---Between having two women violently competing to claim his manhood, has been composing a list of the various ways to kill T.R. Edwards...the list is now in the five digits.

Lisa Hayes---Has taken the saying ‘love is a battlefield’ to heart. With artillery, air strikes, snipers, and field interrogations/torture.

Lynn Minmei---The Minmei you DON’T see in the series; sly, conniving, manipulative, and evil, and on her way to running the local yakuza and tong cells.

Max Sterling---Nice, polite, annoyingly perfect. The Ned Flanders of the Bloopers.

Miriya Sterling---Road terror, barbecue launcher, gunship parent.

Ben Dixon---Hasn’t figured out if he’s Moe or Curley, as long as he isn't permanently DEAD.

Captain Gloval---Working hard to prove that getting older doesn’t make one any less active, cunning, or sexy. Means to out-do Sean Connery in those respects.

Claudia Grant---Regarded and feared by some as possibly the most adept poisoner since the Borgias. Mere mention of ‘pineapple salad’ is enough to send pilots screaming in terror.

The Bridge Bunnies---Control all organized crime on the SDF-1. Known among the local BDSM crowd as ‘The Three Who Must Be Obeyed’.

Roy Fokker---When he’s not sorta dead and playing ghostly advisor, he’s trying to live down a certain full-noodle calender shoot.

Col. Maistroff---Desperately wishes a man of his talents could find SERIOUS work in stage, screen, or TV; instead he’s cooling his heels on the Bloopers sets.

Emil Lang---Mad Science IS Sexy.

Lynn Kyle---The thread’s punching bag.

Khyron---Actually a pretty nice guy playing the role of a scene-chewing punching bag.

Grel---Second-string straightman and entrepreneur on the side.

Breetai---Has discovered the joys of ####ing with people’s heads.

Exedore---Awarded high honors by the Internet Comedy Committee for ‘Best Deadpan Zinger Delivery’.

Azonia---Wants to stage a corporate uprising on ‘The Apprentice’ just so she can tell Donald Trump “You’re FIRED!”

Rico, Konda, and Bron---Boytoys for Bridge Bunnies.

Dolza---A lot dumber and clueless than he looks. He STILL hasn’t figured out that sex kills(specifically HIM).

Dana Sterling--Not happy being cast as the PMS Avenger. Even less happy that she’s considered a ‘suicide date’.

Louie Nichols---Epitome of technophilic nerd humor.

Angelo Dante---Just happy to be delivering slapstick with real slaps.

Sean Philips---Married with dog collar.

Bowie Grant---Too busy doing triplets to be playing for cheap yucks.

Musica---One of the Three Secret Evil Empresses running the Megaverse(the other two are Annie Labelle and Kasumi Tendo)

Nova Satori---May or may NOT be who she claims to be; there’s evidence there are several running around.

Field Marshal Leonard--- Perfectly content playing the ‘heavy’ but wishes more people would appreciate his Marlon Brando impersonation.

Zor Prime---For a guy who’s been repeatedly mistaken for a transvestite, ZP seems doomed to be a repeat straightman.

The Robotech Masters---Otherwise known as Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbass.

Karno, Sokol, and Darsis--- HAVE learned that sex kills, or at least the prospect of sex tortures...as in electrical shock, white-hot branding irons, and large angry carnivores.

The Regis---’Fad of the week’ doesn’t begin to describe her. Has problems staying away from the Home Shopping Network.

The Regent---Invid redneck; need I say more?

The Pollinator---RABID.

Scott Bernard---Voted ‘Most Likely To Be Killed By Marathon Sex’ by the other cast members.

Ariel(Bernard)---Shy winsome exotic love interest on screen; sex-demon off-camera.

Annie LaBelle---NOt-so-secret disguised eldritch terror.

Rand---Not happy the funniest gags involving him usually involve him being on fire.

Rook Bartley---Has threatened to cross the 4th Wall and fist-of-death anyone humiliating her for a cheap yuck.

Lunk---Used to consider himself blessed he didn’t attract more Blooper attention and could afford to laugh at other cast members, until he got swept up in a running sex gag.

Lancer---Fearful of his/her fans ever learning his nickname growing up was ‘Tubby’.

Sera---Hasn’t quite got comic timing or developed a schtick yet; but she’s practicing and hoping.

Corg---Is learning via first hand experience all the words for fear.

Marlene Rush---To be dead is to snark.

Marcus Rush---Young, inexperienced, and clueless; hasn’t yet found the target bullseye and ‘kick me’ sign pasted on his back by Alex Romero.

Maia Sterling---Is less than happy that her uniform really IS nothing more than skin-paint.

Janice Em---Wants to graduate from ‘prop’ to ‘major character’.

Alex Romero---Nothing’s easier than dying when you’re trying for comedy; so naturally he gets killed a lot.

Commander Daryl Taylor---Wishes Alec Guiness would quit whispering in his ear all the time; “You’re going to die, boy!”

Vince Grant---Is learning that practical jokes with cobalt grenades, especially when wired to T.R. Edwards’ pillow, can be FUN.

General Reinhardt---Still hasn’t figured out why he hasn’t gotten any smart-aleck dialogue or sex scenes.

Sparks---Probably the ONLY person on the Bridge of the SDF-4 who knows what’s really going on. Hates being called ‘Radar’.

T.R. Edwards---Has problems understanding why NOBODY likes him.

Rolf Emerson: "Thank God, I'm not on this list!"

[taalismn]

[

Rolf Emerson: "Thank God, I'm not on this list!"

Emerson:"...I just blew it, didn't I?"
The rest of the bridge crew on the Tristar silently nod their heads.
Emerson: "Okay, hit me. "
And about a dozen creme pies come sailing at him from all directions, burying him in pastry....

[Alpha 11]

The Cast of Robotech Bloopers(a Quick Capsule Guide)

Rick Hunter---Between having two women violently competing to claim his manhood, has been composing a list of the various ways to kill T.R. Edwards...the list is now in the five digits.

Lisa Hayes---Has taken the saying ‘love is a battlefield’ to heart. With artillery, air strikes, snipers, and field interrogations/torture.

Lynn Minmei---The Minmei you DON’T see in the series; sly, conniving, manipulative, and evil, and on her way to running the local yakuza and tong cells.

Max Sterling---Nice, polite, annoyingly perfect. The Ned Flanders of the Bloopers.

Miriya Sterling---Road terror, barbecue launcher, gunship parent.

Ben Dixon---Hasn’t figured out if he’s Moe or Curley, as long as he isn't permanently DEAD.

Captain Gloval---Working hard to prove that getting older doesn’t make one any less active, cunning, or sexy. Means to out-do Sean Connery in those respects.

Claudia Grant---Regarded and feared by some as possibly the most adept poisoner since the Borgias. Mere mention of ‘pineapple salad’ is enough to send pilots screaming in terror.

The Bridge Bunnies---Control all organized crime on the SDF-1. Known among the local BDSM crowd as ‘The Three Who Must Be Obeyed’.

Roy Fokker---When he’s not sorta dead and playing ghostly advisor, he’s trying to live down a certain full-noodle calender shoot.

Col. Maistroff---Desperately wishes a man of his talents could find SERIOUS work in stage, screen, or TV; instead he’s cooling his heels on the Bloopers sets.

Emil Lang---Mad Science IS Sexy.

Lynn Kyle---The thread’s punching bag.

Khyron---Actually a pretty nice guy playing the role of a scene-chewing punching bag.

Grel---Second-string straightman and entrepreneur on the side.

Breetai---Has discovered the joys of ####ing with people’s heads.

Exedore---Awarded high honors by the Internet Comedy Committee for ‘Best Deadpan Zinger Delivery’.

Azonia---Wants to stage a corporate uprising on ‘The Apprentice’ just so she can tell Donald Trump “You’re FIRED!”

Rico, Konda, and Bron---Boytoys for Bridge Bunnies.

Dolza---A lot dumber and clueless than he looks. He STILL hasn’t figured out that sex kills(specifically HIM).

Dana Sterling--Not happy being cast as the PMS Avenger. Even less happy that she’s considered a ‘suicide date’.

Louie Nichols---Epitome of technophilic nerd humor.

Angelo Dante---Just happy to be delivering slapstick with real slaps.

Sean Philips---Married with dog collar.

Bowie Grant---Too busy doing triplets to be playing for cheap yucks.

Musica---One of the Three Secret Evil Empresses running the Megaverse(the other two are Annie Labelle and Kasumi Tendo)

Nova Satori---May or may NOT be who she claims to be; there’s evidence there are several running around.

Field Marshal Leonard--- Perfectly content playing the ‘heavy’ but wishes more people would appreciate his Marlon Brando impersonation.

Zor Prime---For a guy who’s been repeatedly mistaken for a transvestite, ZP seems doomed to be a repeat straightman.

The Robotech Masters---Otherwise known as Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbass.

Karno, Sokol, and Darsis--- HAVE learned that sex kills, or at least the prospect of sex tortures...as in electrical shock, white-hot branding irons, and large angry carnivores.

The Regis---’Fad of the week’ doesn’t begin to describe her. Has problems staying away from the Home Shopping Network.

The Regent---Invid redneck; need I say more?

The Pollinator---RABID.

Scott Bernard---Voted ‘Most Likely To Be Killed By Marathon Sex’ by the other cast members.

Ariel(Bernard)---Shy winsome exotic love interest on screen; sex-demon off-camera.

Annie LaBelle---NOt-so-secret disguised eldritch terror.

Rand---Not happy the funniest gags involving him usually involve him being on fire.

Rook Bartley---Has threatened to cross the 4th Wall and fist-of-death anyone humiliating her for a cheap yuck.

Lunk---Used to consider himself blessed he didn’t attract more Blooper attention and could afford to laugh at other cast members, until he got swept up in a running sex gag.

Lancer---Fearful of his/her fans ever learning his nickname growing up was ‘Tubby’.

Sera---Hasn’t quite got comic timing or developed a schtick yet; but she’s practicing and hoping.

Corg---Is learning via first hand experience all the words for fear.

Marlene Rush---To be dead is to snark.

Marcus Rush---Young, inexperienced, and clueless; hasn’t yet found the target bullseye and ‘kick me’ sign pasted on his back by Alex Romero.

Maia Sterling---Is less than happy that her uniform really IS nothing more than skin-paint.

Janice Em---Wants to graduate from ‘prop’ to ‘major character’.

Alex Romero---Nothing’s easier than dying when you’re trying for comedy; so naturally he gets killed a lot.

Commander Daryl Taylor---Wishes Alec Guiness would quit whispering in his ear all the time; “You’re going to die, boy!”

Vince Grant---Is learning that practical jokes with cobalt grenades, especially when wired to T.R. Edwards’ pillow, can be FUN.

General Reinhardt---Still hasn’t figured out why he hasn’t gotten any smart-aleck dialogue or sex scenes.

Sparks---Probably the ONLY person on the Bridge of the SDF-4 who knows what’s really going on. Hates being called ‘Radar’.

T.R. Edwards---Has problems understanding why NOBODY likes him.

Rolf Emerson: "Thank God, I'm not on this list!"

Till you said something.

[

Rolf Emerson: "Thank God, I'm not on this list!"

Emerson:"...I just blew it, didn't I?"
The rest of the bridge crew on the Tristar silently nod their heads.
Emerson: "Okay, hit me. "
And about a dozen creme pies come sailing at him from all directions, burying him in pastry....

[SRoss]

The Cast of Robotech Bloopers(a Quick Capsule Guide)

Rick Hunter---Between having two women violently competing to claim his manhood, has been composing a list of the various ways to kill T.R. Edwards...the list is now in the five digits.

Lisa Hayes---Has taken the saying ‘love is a battlefield’ to heart. With artillery, air strikes, snipers, and field interrogations/torture.

Lynn Minmei---The Minmei you DON’T see in the series; sly, conniving, manipulative, and evil, and on her way to running the local yakuza and tong cells.

Max Sterling---Nice, polite, annoyingly perfect. The Ned Flanders of the Bloopers.

Miriya Sterling---Road terror, barbecue launcher, gunship parent.

Ben Dixon---Hasn’t figured out if he’s Moe or Curley, as long as he isn't permanently DEAD.

Captain Gloval---Working hard to prove that getting older doesn’t make one any less active, cunning, or sexy. Means to out-do Sean Connery in those respects.

Claudia Grant---Regarded and feared by some as possibly the most adept poisoner since the Borgias. Mere mention of ‘pineapple salad’ is enough to send pilots screaming in terror.

The Bridge Bunnies---Control all organized crime on the SDF-1. Known among the local BDSM crowd as ‘The Three Who Must Be Obeyed’.

Roy Fokker---When he’s not sorta dead and playing ghostly advisor, he’s trying to live down a certain full-noodle calender shoot.

Col. Maistroff---Desperately wishes a man of his talents could find SERIOUS work in stage, screen, or TV; instead he’s cooling his heels on the Bloopers sets.

Emil Lang---Mad Science IS Sexy.

Lynn Kyle---The thread’s punching bag.

Khyron---Actually a pretty nice guy playing the role of a scene-chewing punching bag.

Grel---Second-string straightman and entrepreneur on the side.

Breetai---Has discovered the joys of ####ing with people’s heads.

Exedore---Awarded high honors by the Internet Comedy Committee for ‘Best Deadpan Zinger Delivery’.

Azonia---Wants to stage a corporate uprising on ‘The Apprentice’ just so she can tell Donald Trump “You’re FIRED!”

Rico, Konda, and Bron---Boytoys for Bridge Bunnies.

Dolza---A lot dumber and clueless than he looks. He STILL hasn’t figured out that sex kills(specifically HIM).

Dana Sterling--Not happy being cast as the PMS Avenger. Even less happy that she’s considered a ‘suicide date’.

Louie Nichols---Epitome of technophilic nerd humor.

Angelo Dante---Just happy to be delivering slapstick with real slaps.

Sean Philips---Married with dog collar.

Bowie Grant---Too busy doing triplets to be playing for cheap yucks.

Musica---One of the Three Secret Evil Empresses running the Megaverse(the other two are Annie Labelle and Kasumi Tendo)

Nova Satori---May or may NOT be who she claims to be; there’s evidence there are several running around.

Field Marshal Leonard--- Perfectly content playing the ‘heavy’ but wishes more people would appreciate his Marlon Brando impersonation.

Zor Prime---For a guy who’s been repeatedly mistaken for a transvestite, ZP seems doomed to be a repeat straightman.

The Robotech Masters---Otherwise known as Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbass.

Karno, Sokol, and Darsis--- HAVE learned that sex kills, or at least the prospect of sex tortures...as in electrical shock, white-hot branding irons, and large angry carnivores.

The Regis---’Fad of the week’ doesn’t begin to describe her. Has problems staying away from the Home Shopping Network.

The Regent---Invid redneck; need I say more?

The Pollinator---RABID.

Scott Bernard---Voted ‘Most Likely To Be Killed By Marathon Sex’ by the other cast members.

Ariel(Bernard)---Shy winsome exotic love interest on screen; sex-demon off-camera.

Annie LaBelle---NOt-so-secret disguised eldritch terror.

Rand---Not happy the funniest gags involving him usually involve him being on fire.

Rook Bartley---Has threatened to cross the 4th Wall and fist-of-death anyone humiliating her for a cheap yuck.

Lunk---Used to consider himself blessed he didn’t attract more Blooper attention and could afford to laugh at other cast members, until he got swept up in a running sex gag.

Lancer---Fearful of his/her fans ever learning his nickname growing up was ‘Tubby’.

Sera---Hasn’t quite got comic timing or developed a schtick yet; but she’s practicing and hoping.

Corg---Is learning via first hand experience all the words for fear.

Marlene Rush---To be dead is to snark.

Marcus Rush---Young, inexperienced, and clueless; hasn’t yet found the target bullseye and ‘kick me’ sign pasted on his back by Alex Romero.

Maia Sterling---Is less than happy that her uniform really IS nothing more than skin-paint.

Janice Em---Wants to graduate from ‘prop’ to ‘major character’.

Alex Romero---Nothing’s easier than dying when you’re trying for comedy; so naturally he gets killed a lot.

Commander Daryl Taylor---Wishes Alec Guiness would quit whispering in his ear all the time; “You’re going to die, boy!”

Vince Grant---Is learning that practical jokes with cobalt grenades, especially when wired to T.R. Edwards’ pillow, can be FUN.

General Reinhardt---Still hasn’t figured out why he hasn’t gotten any smart-aleck dialogue or sex scenes.

Sparks---Probably the ONLY person on the Bridge of the SDF-4 who knows what’s really going on. Hates being called ‘Radar’.

T.R. Edwards---Has problems understanding why NOBODY likes him.

You forgot.

Haydonite---Bouncing between being a Dalek wannabe and just wanting the hurting to stop.

The Awarness---Once again unsuccessfully sued the Blooper Reels thread in the World Court on the basis that uploads of Windows based operating systems and boudoir photos of Dana Stirling constitute a War Crime.

[Arnie100]

Allegra and Octavia: "Didn't WE also get mentioned somewhere?!"

[SRoss]

Allegra and Octavia: "Didn't WE also get mentioned somewhere?!"

Sammy Porter: "And don't I rate a separate entry?"

[Arnie100]

Allegra and Octavia: "Didn't WE also get mentioned somewhere?!"

Sammy Porter: "And don't I rate a separate entry?"

Sammy: "As the only person who's ever been able to control Khyron...c'mon now." (Holding a leash with said Khyron attached and also in handcuffs)
Khyron: "A little help...please?"

[Arnie100]

Gerao: "YES! I'm not on the list, too! Wait...is that a good thing?"

[SRoss]

Gerao: "YES! I'm not on the list, too! Wait...is that a good thing?"

Hugh Mann: (Piloting a Shock Trooper in a silk teddy holding an enormous whip) "That depends! How do you feel about inter species BDSM?"

#SNAP!#

[taalismn]

Yeah, yeah, I know. And Jean Grant didn't appear it because she's only had two or three appearances in over a hundred pages....Mainly she's too level-headed, and also because she's busy threatening guys who keep showing up in the sickbay trying to hit on the married woman with emasculation during their next physical.

[Arnie100]

Gerao: "YES! I'm not on the list, too! Wait...is that a good thing?"

Hugh Mann: (Piloting a Shock Trooper in a silk teddy holding an enormous whip) "That depends! How do you feel about inter species BDSM?"

#SNAP!#

Gerao: "Protoculture...SAVE ME!"
Khyron: "NOW you'll see what I have to put up with..."

[Alpha 11]

The Cast of Robotech Bloopers(a Quick Capsule Guide)

Rick Hunter---Between having two women violently competing to claim his manhood, has been composing a list of the various ways to kill T.R. Edwards...the list is now in the five digits.

Lisa Hayes---Has taken the saying ‘love is a battlefield’ to heart. With artillery, air strikes, snipers, and field interrogations/torture.

Lynn Minmei---The Minmei you DON’T see in the series; sly, conniving, manipulative, and evil, and on her way to running the local yakuza and tong cells.

Max Sterling---Nice, polite, annoyingly perfect. The Ned Flanders of the Bloopers.

Miriya Sterling---Road terror, barbecue launcher, gunship parent.

Ben Dixon---Hasn’t figured out if he’s Moe or Curley, as long as he isn't permanently DEAD.

Captain Gloval---Working hard to prove that getting older doesn’t make one any less active, cunning, or sexy. Means to out-do Sean Connery in those respects.

Claudia Grant---Regarded and feared by some as possibly the most adept poisoner since the Borgias. Mere mention of ‘pineapple salad’ is enough to send pilots screaming in terror.

The Bridge Bunnies---Control all organized crime on the SDF-1. Known among the local BDSM crowd as ‘The Three Who Must Be Obeyed’.

Roy Fokker---When he’s not sorta dead and playing ghostly advisor, he’s trying to live down a certain full-noodle calender shoot.

Col. Maistroff---Desperately wishes a man of his talents could find SERIOUS work in stage, screen, or TV; instead he’s cooling his heels on the Bloopers sets.

Emil Lang---Mad Science IS Sexy.

Lynn Kyle---The thread’s punching bag.

Khyron---Actually a pretty nice guy playing the role of a scene-chewing punching bag.

Grel---Second-string straightman and entrepreneur on the side.

Breetai---Has discovered the joys of ####ing with people’s heads.

Exedore---Awarded high honors by the Internet Comedy Committee for ‘Best Deadpan Zinger Delivery’.

Azonia---Wants to stage a corporate uprising on ‘The Apprentice’ just so she can tell Donald Trump “You’re FIRED!”

Rico, Konda, and Bron---Boytoys for Bridge Bunnies.

Dolza---A lot dumber and clueless than he looks. He STILL hasn’t figured out that sex kills(specifically HIM).

Dana Sterling--Not happy being cast as the PMS Avenger. Even less happy that she’s considered a ‘suicide date’.

Louie Nichols---Epitome of technophilic nerd humor.

Angelo Dante---Just happy to be delivering slapstick with real slaps.

Sean Philips---Married with dog collar.

Bowie Grant---Too busy doing triplets to be playing for cheap yucks.

Musica---One of the Three Secret Evil Empresses running the Megaverse(the other two are Annie Labelle and Kasumi Tendo)

Nova Satori---May or may NOT be who she claims to be; there’s evidence there are several running around.

Field Marshal Leonard--- Perfectly content playing the ‘heavy’ but wishes more people would appreciate his Marlon Brando impersonation.

Zor Prime---For a guy who’s been repeatedly mistaken for a transvestite, ZP seems doomed to be a repeat straightman.

The Robotech Masters---Otherwise known as Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbass.

Karno, Sokol, and Darsis--- HAVE learned that sex kills, or at least the prospect of sex tortures...as in electrical shock, white-hot branding irons, and large angry carnivores.

The Regis---’Fad of the week’ doesn’t begin to describe her. Has problems staying away from the Home Shopping Network.

The Regent---Invid redneck; need I say more?

The Pollinator---RABID.

Scott Bernard---Voted ‘Most Likely To Be Killed By Marathon Sex’ by the other cast members.

Ariel(Bernard)---Shy winsome exotic love interest on screen; sex-demon off-camera.

Annie LaBelle---NOt-so-secret disguised eldritch terror.

Rand---Not happy the funniest gags involving him usually involve him being on fire.

Rook Bartley---Has threatened to cross the 4th Wall and fist-of-death anyone humiliating her for a cheap yuck.

Lunk---Used to consider himself blessed he didn’t attract more Blooper attention and could afford to laugh at other cast members, until he got swept up in a running sex gag.

Lancer---Fearful of his/her fans ever learning his nickname growing up was ‘Tubby’.

Sera---Hasn’t quite got comic timing or developed a schtick yet; but she’s practicing and hoping.

Corg---Is learning via first hand experience all the words for fear.

Marlene Rush---To be dead is to snark.

Marcus Rush---Young, inexperienced, and clueless; hasn’t yet found the target bullseye and ‘kick me’ sign pasted on his back by Alex Romero.

Maia Sterling---Is less than happy that her uniform really IS nothing more than skin-paint.

Janice Em---Wants to graduate from ‘prop’ to ‘major character’.

Alex Romero---Nothing’s easier than dying when you’re trying for comedy; so naturally he gets killed a lot.

Commander Daryl Taylor---Wishes Alec Guiness would quit whispering in his ear all the time; “You’re going to die, boy!”

Vince Grant---Is learning that practical jokes with cobalt grenades, especially when wired to T.R. Edwards’ pillow, can be FUN.

General Reinhardt---Still hasn’t figured out why he hasn’t gotten any smart-aleck dialogue or sex scenes.

Sparks---Probably the ONLY person on the Bridge of the SDF-4 who knows what’s really going on. Hates being called ‘Radar’.

T.R. Edwards---Has problems understanding why NOBODY likes him.

You forgot.

Haydonite---Bouncing between being a Dalek wannabe and just wanting the hurting to stop.

The Awarness---Once again unsuccessfully sued the Blooper Reels thread in the World Court on the basis that uploads of Windows based operating systems and boudoir photos of Dana Stirling constitute a War Crime.

Allegra and Octavia: "Didn't WE also get mentioned somewhere?!"

The add-ons for Bowie Grant?

Allegra and Octavia: "Didn't WE also get mentioned somewhere?!"

Sammy Porter: "And don't I rate a separate entry?"

Allegra and Octavia: "Didn't WE also get mentioned somewhere?!"

Sammy Porter: "And don't I rate a separate entry?"

Sammy: "As the only person who's ever been able to control Khyron...c'mon now." (Holding a leash with said Khyron attached and also in handcuffs)
Khyron: "A little help...please?"

Gerao: "YES! I'm not on the list, too! Wait...is that a good thing?"

Gerao: "YES! I'm not on the list, too! Wait...is that a good thing?"

Hugh Mann: (Piloting a Shock Trooper in a silk teddy holding an enormous whip) "That depends! How do you feel about inter species BDSM?"

#SNAP!#

Yeah, yeah, I know. And Jean Grant didn't appear it because she's only had two or three appearances in over a hundred pages....Mainly she's too level-headed, and also because she's busy threatening guys who keep showing up in the sickbay trying to hit on the married woman with emasculation during their next physical.

Gerao: "YES! I'm not on the list, too! Wait...is that a good thing?"

Hugh Mann: (Piloting a Shock Trooper in a silk teddy holding an enormous whip) "That depends! How do you feel about inter species BDSM?"

#SNAP!#

Gerao: "Protoculture...SAVE ME!"
Khyron: "NOW you'll see what I have to put up with..."

[taalismn]

(New Generation scene where Rook's taking on the gang that's been harassing Yellow Dancer at the bar)
Rook's backstepping and dancing around, trading punches with the jerk, when they back into the small crowd in the room...
-bump-
*VVEEERRRTTTT*
"AIIIHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!"
Thug's looking at the cauterized stump of his arm, everybody else is looking at his smouldering arm on the floor, and Rook is looking angrily at the robed figure at the bar, focused on beer study.
"'A refined weapon for a more civilized age', yeah, right!"

[Arnie100]

Rook: "Hey; old man, I was gonna kick that guy's @ss! Mind your own bus -- "
Robed Figure: (Slowly waving hand) "You will sit down and behave yourself..."
Rook: "Okay...I'll sit and down and behave myself!"
Rand: "Psstt...how'd you do that?!"
Robed Figure (who turns out to be an old man): "The Force can be a powerful influence on the weak-minded!"

[GaredBattlespike]

Kyron "I have an idea that no one has yet thought of, Grell! I'll re-write 'On Golden Pond', but set in space!"

Grell "What will you call it, M'lord?"

Kyron "On Golen Station !"

Grell *SLAPS his own forehead*

[taalismn]

Rook: "Hey; old man, I was gonna kick that guy's @ss! Mind your own bus -- "
Robed Figure: (Slowly waving hand) "You will sit down and behave yourself..."
Rook: "Okay...I'll sit and down and behave myself!"
Rand: "Psstt...how'd you do that?!"
Robed Figure (who turns out to be an old man): "The Force can be a powerful influence on the weak-minded!"

I'm thinking Opi-Ron the CyberKnight(looks like Pat Morita, only a lot meaner, a lot drunker....he stumbled through a Rift in a drunken stupor, and is only aware of his position relative to bars. His sage words of advice include such nuggets of wisdom as "KICK 'EM IN THE BALLS!!!" and "Never Bother Me While I'm Drinking").