Robotech Blooper Reels

[Arnie100]

Rook: "Hey; old man, I was gonna kick that guy's @ss! Mind your own bus -- "
Robed Figure: (Slowly waving hand) "You will sit down and behave yourself..."
Rook: "Okay...I'll sit and down and behave myself!"
Rand: "Psstt...how'd you do that?!"
Robed Figure (who turns out to be an old man): "The Force can be a powerful influence on the weak-minded!"

I'm thinking Opi-Ron the CyberKnight(looks like Pat Morita, only a lot meaner, a lot drunker....he stumbled through a Rift in a drunken stupor, and is only aware of his position relative to bars. His sage words of advice include such nuggets of wisdom as "KICK 'EM IN THE BALLS!!!" and "Never Bother Me While I'm Drinking").

I can still see Rook trying to take on Obi-Wan , LOL...

[taalismn]

Rook: "Hey; old man, I was gonna kick that guy's @ss! Mind your own bus -- "
Robed Figure: (Slowly waving hand) "You will sit down and behave yourself..."
Rook: "Okay...I'll sit and down and behave myself!"
Rand: "Psstt...how'd you do that?!"
Robed Figure (who turns out to be an old man): "The Force can be a powerful influence on the weak-minded!"

I'm thinking Opi-Ron the CyberKnight(looks like Pat Morita, only a lot meaner, a lot drunker....he stumbled through a Rift in a drunken stupor, and is only aware of his position relative to bars. His sage words of advice include such nuggets of wisdom as "KICK 'EM IN THE BALLS!!!" and "Never Bother Me While I'm Drinking").

I can still see Rook trying to take on Obi-Wan , LOL...

Scott Benard, Sith Apprentice, anybody? Found by a Darth while still in that post-crash 'REVENGE!' state(before running into Rand).

[SRoss]

Rook: "Hey; old man, I was gonna kick that guy's @ss! Mind your own bus -- "
Robed Figure: (Slowly waving hand) "You will sit down and behave yourself..."
Rook: "Okay...I'll sit and down and behave myself!"
Rand: "Psstt...how'd you do that?!"
Robed Figure (who turns out to be an old man): "The Force can be a powerful influence on the weak-minded!"

Robed Figure: (Patting Rand on the lap) "Now why do you let me buy you a warn Zema soup my muscly friend."

[taalismn]

#VREEET#
"...ah..Annie? Where'd you get that?"
"Oh, this? Old family heirloom. Gramps called it 'Kneecapper' for some reason."

[SRoss]

#VREEET#
"...ah..Annie? Where'd you get that?"
"Oh, this? Old family heirloom. Gramps called it 'Kneecapper' for some reason."

ANNIE & THE FORCE

Annie: "You will marry me."

Magruder: "I will marry you."

Annie: "You will worship me as your Queen."

Magruder: "I will worship you as my Queen."

In New York...

Annie: "We're not the humans you're looking for."

Corg: "You're not the humans I'm looking for!"

Annie: "Move along."

Corg: "Move along! Move along!"

At Reflex Point...

Annie: "You will surrender to us."

Regess: "Ha Ha Ha! Silly girl! Your Jedi Mind Tricks[sup]tm[/sup] won't work on me!"

Annie: "Ok!" (Kicks the Regess in the shin)

[Arnie100]

ANNIE & THE FORCE

(At Reflex Point)

Annie: "Your name is Mr. Snuggles."

Corg: "My name is Mr. Snuggles...!"

Annie: "You will obey my every command!"

Corg: "I will obey your every command!!"

[Alpha 11]

(New Generation scene where Rook's taking on the gang that's been harassing Yellow Dancer at the bar)
Rook's backstepping and dancing around, trading punches with the jerk, when they back into the small crowd in the room...
-bump-
*VVEEERRRTTTT*
"AIIIHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!"
Thug's looking at the cauterized stump of his arm, everybody else is looking at his smouldering arm on the floor, and Rook is looking angrily at the robed figure at the bar, focused on beer study.
"'A refined weapon for a more civilized age', yeah, right!"

Rook: "Hey; old man, I was gonna kick that guy's @ss! Mind your own bus -- "
Robed Figure: (Slowly waving hand) "You will sit down and behave yourself..."
Rook: "Okay...I'll sit and down and behave myself!"
Rand: "Psstt...how'd you do that?!"
Robed Figure (who turns out to be an old man): "The Force can be a powerful influence on the weak-minded!"

Ouch!

Kyron "I have an idea that no one has yet thought of, Grell! I'll re-write 'On Golden Pond', but set in space!"

Grell "What will you call it, M'lord?"

Kyron "On Golen Station !"

Grell *SLAPS his own forehead*

Rook: "Hey; old man, I was gonna kick that guy's @ss! Mind your own bus -- "
Robed Figure: (Slowly waving hand) "You will sit down and behave yourself..."
Rook: "Okay...I'll sit and down and behave myself!"
Rand: "Psstt...how'd you do that?!"
Robed Figure (who turns out to be an old man): "The Force can be a powerful influence on the weak-minded!"

I'm thinking Opi-Ron the CyberKnight(looks like Pat Morita, only a lot meaner, a lot drunker....he stumbled through a Rift in a drunken stupor, and is only aware of his position relative to bars. His sage words of advice include such nuggets of wisdom as "KICK 'EM IN THE BALLS!!!" and "Never Bother Me While I'm Drinking").

[Alpha 11]

Rook: "Hey; old man, I was gonna kick that guy's @ss! Mind your own bus -- "
Robed Figure: (Slowly waving hand) "You will sit down and behave yourself..."
Rook: "Okay...I'll sit and down and behave myself!"
Rand: "Psstt...how'd you do that?!"
Robed Figure (who turns out to be an old man): "The Force can be a powerful influence on the weak-minded!"

I'm thinking Opi-Ron the CyberKnight(looks like Pat Morita, only a lot meaner, a lot drunker....he stumbled through a Rift in a drunken stupor, and is only aware of his position relative to bars. His sage words of advice include such nuggets of wisdom as "KICK 'EM IN THE BALLS!!!" and "Never Bother Me While I'm Drinking").

I can still see Rook trying to take on Obi-Wan , LOL...

Yep.

Rook: "Hey; old man, I was gonna kick that guy's @ss! Mind your own bus -- "
Robed Figure: (Slowly waving hand) "You will sit down and behave yourself..."
Rook: "Okay...I'll sit and down and behave myself!"
Rand: "Psstt...how'd you do that?!"
Robed Figure (who turns out to be an old man): "The Force can be a powerful influence on the weak-minded!"

I'm thinking Opi-Ron the CyberKnight(looks like Pat Morita, only a lot meaner, a lot drunker....he stumbled through a Rift in a drunken stupor, and is only aware of his position relative to bars. His sage words of advice include such nuggets of wisdom as "KICK 'EM IN THE BALLS!!!" and "Never Bother Me While I'm Drinking").

I can still see Rook trying to take on Obi-Wan , LOL...

Scott Benard, Sith Apprentice, anybody? Found by a Darth while still in that post-crash 'REVENGE!' state(before running into Rand).

Rook: "Hey; old man, I was gonna kick that guy's @ss! Mind your own bus -- "
Robed Figure: (Slowly waving hand) "You will sit down and behave yourself..."
Rook: "Okay...I'll sit and down and behave myself!"
Rand: "Psstt...how'd you do that?!"
Robed Figure (who turns out to be an old man): "The Force can be a powerful influence on the weak-minded!"

Robed Figure: (Patting Rand on the lap) "Now why do you let me buy you a warn Zema soup my muscly friend."

#VREEET#
"...ah..Annie? Where'd you get that?"
"Oh, this? Old family heirloom. Gramps called it 'Kneecapper' for some reason."

#VREEET#
"...ah..Annie? Where'd you get that?"
"Oh, this? Old family heirloom. Gramps called it 'Kneecapper' for some reason."

ANNIE & THE FORCE

Annie: "You will marry me."

Magruder: "I will marry you."

Annie: "You will worship me as your Queen."

Magruder: "I will worship you as my Queen."

In New York...

Annie: "We're not the humans you're looking for."

Corg: "You're not the humans I'm looking for!"

Annie: "Move along."

Corg: "Move along! Move along!"

At Reflex Point...

Annie: "You will surrender to us."

Regess: "Ha Ha Ha! Silly girl! Your Jedi Mind Tricks[sup]tm[/sup] won't work on me!"

Annie: "Ok!" (Kicks the Regess in the shin)

ANNIE & THE FORCE

(At Reflex Point)

Annie: "Your name is Mr. Snuggles."

Corg: "My name is Mr. Snuggles...!"

Annie: "You will obey my every command!"

Corg: "I will obey your every command!!"

[taalismn]

Should add this to the Cast Summary List:

Petit Cola Machines: Very well might be the DEADLIEST machinery in the whole Robotech saga.

[Arnie100]

Should add this to the Cast Summary List:

Petit Cola Machines: Very well might be the DEADLIEST machinery in the whole Robotech saga.

Useful in orbital strike missions, I might add. Target them at Reflex Point, and we'll have some happy invid!

[taalismn]

Should add this to the Cast Summary List:

Petit Cola Machines: Very well might be the DEADLIEST machinery in the whole Robotech saga.

Useful in orbital strike missions, I might add. Target them at Reflex Point, and we'll have some happy invid!

"So the Invid get Petit Cola and we get ProtoCola? That;s just WRONG, man!"


http://www.galactic-guide.com/articles/9U7.html

[Alpha 11]

Should add this to the Cast Summary List:

Petit Cola Machines: Very well might be the DEADLIEST machinery in the whole Robotech saga.

Should add this to the Cast Summary List:

Petit Cola Machines: Very well might be the DEADLIEST machinery in the whole Robotech saga.

Useful in orbital strike missions, I might add. Target them at Reflex Point, and we'll have some happy invid!

Should add this to the Cast Summary List:

Petit Cola Machines: Very well might be the DEADLIEST machinery in the whole Robotech saga.

Useful in orbital strike missions, I might add. Target them at Reflex Point, and we'll have some happy invid!

"So the Invid get Petit Cola and we get ProtoCola? That;s just WRONG, man!"


http://www.galactic-guide.com/articles/9U7.html

[taalismn]

"Great, just what we need; insectile aliens on even MORE of a sugar high buzzing around!"
"I think the working theory is that a significantly critical overload of caffeine will cause them to explode."

[SRoss]

"Great, just what we need; insectile aliens on even MORE of a sugar high buzzing around!"
"I think the working theory is that a significantly critical overload of caffeine will cause them to explode."

"How do we ever deliver them?"

"That's easy!" (Pushes button)

Cut To: Interior, Cargo Bay: As the doors open into space, thousands of Cola Machines are jettisoned into orbit over Reflex Point...

Corg: "DIE HUMANS DIE! HA HA HA!"

Corg stopped in mid rampage as his mech is one-shotted by a flaming falling cola machine.

[taalismn]

[

Corg stopped in mid rampage as his mech is one-shotted by a flaming falling cola machine.

"Petit Cola...Taste the Sky."

[taalismn]

[SDF-1 Bridge: The crew watches as Khyron's forces are pulled off the ship by a recall beam]

Vanessa: Captain, the enemy forces seem to be retreating!

Lisa: It's amazing they're pulling back like that, they nearly had us that time. Captain, should we have the Veritech squadrons pursue?"

Gloval: They're leaving now and we're safe. Let's not press our luck, or theirs.

Claudia: But why are they...? Captain! The Zentraid mecha are taking formation!

Gloval: What? Vanessa, punch it up.

[The screen shows battle pods moving in space, eventually their positions form the image of a giant smiley face.]

Gloval: Thundering Asteroids...

[Zentradi Flagship bridge, Breetai and Exedore stand in the command bubble]

Exedore: Maneuver complete, your excellency.

Breetai: [Grunts approval]

Breetai: "And this is the Finger Formation."
----
Gloval: "...cheeky bastards..."

[Alpha 11]

"Great, just what we need; insectile aliens on even MORE of a sugar high buzzing around!"
"I think the working theory is that a significantly critical overload of caffeine will cause them to explode."

"Great, just what we need; insectile aliens on even MORE of a sugar high buzzing around!"
"I think the working theory is that a significantly critical overload of caffeine will cause them to explode."

"How do we ever deliver them?"

"That's easy!" (Pushes button)

Cut To: Interior, Cargo Bay: As the doors open into space, thousands of Cola Machines are jettisoned into orbit over Reflex Point...

Corg: "DIE HUMANS DIE! HA HA HA!"

Corg stopped in mid rampage as his mech is one-shotted by a flaming falling cola machine.

[

Corg stopped in mid rampage as his mech is one-shotted by a flaming falling cola machine.

"Petit Cola...Taste the Sky."

[SDF-1 Bridge: The crew watches as Khyron's forces are pulled off the ship by a recall beam]

Vanessa: Captain, the enemy forces seem to be retreating!

Lisa: It's amazing they're pulling back like that, they nearly had us that time. Captain, should we have the Veritech squadrons pursue?"

Gloval: They're leaving now and we're safe. Let's not press our luck, or theirs.

Claudia: But why are they...? Captain! The Zentraid mecha are taking formation!

Gloval: What? Vanessa, punch it up.

[The screen shows battle pods moving in space, eventually their positions form the image of a giant smiley face.]

Gloval: Thundering Asteroids...

[Zentradi Flagship bridge, Breetai and Exedore stand in the command bubble]

Exedore: Maneuver complete, your excellency.

Breetai: [Grunts approval]

Breetai: "And this is the Finger Formation."
----
Gloval: "...cheeky bastards..."

Before There Was Zor Prime...


Previous Zor Clones That Didn't Make The Cut

- Extra Limbs Zor
- Slightly Off-Shade of White Zor
- Baywatch Enthusiast Zor
- Chews With His Mouth Open Zor
- Walmart Greeter Zor
- Elvis Impersonator Zor
- Excessive Use of the Word "Throbbing" Zor
- Proctologist Zor
- Lucy In The Sky with Diamonds Zor
- Kleptomaniac Zor
- Not Androgynous Enough Zor
- Riverdance Zor
- Progressive Tail Mange Zor
- Something Strange in The Squirtgun Zor
- KKK Zor
- My Little Pony Zor
- Charles Manzor
- Too Much Lube Zor
- Malware Zor
- Narcolepsy Zor
- Angela Davis Afro Zor
- Craigslist Personals Zor
- Carrot Top Zor
- Blaxploitation Zor
- Agoraphobic Zor
- Booty Call Zor
- Social Anxiety Zor
- Tweaker Zor
- The Artist Formerly Known As Zor
- Premature Ejaculation Zor
- Dramatically Enlarged Nostrils Zor
- Scowls Like Judi Dench Zor
- Medical Malpractice Zor
- Excessive Saliva Zor
- Sold Company To Disney Zor
- Too Enthusiastic About Recal Thermometer Zor

[taalismn]

Forgot:
-Lawsuit-happy Zor
-Fur-Suitter Zor
-Redneck Zor
-Flatulent Zor
-Teenage Rebel Zor
-Sparkly Zor
-Cannibal Zor
-Nitpicker Zor
-Anime Over-Analysis Zor
-Keg-killer Zor
-Arsonist Zor
-Thumbsucker Zor
-Invisible Friend Zor
-Snarky Zor

[Arnie100]

One of Annie's favorites: Hello Kitty Zor

[Arnie100]

Zor Prime: (Reading the list) "What the protoculture?! I thought I was the only one made!"
Cabell: "Trust me...there's more then you think...that was the first batch...(takes Zor to a sealed vault opens the door, which reavels a seemingly endless rows of Zor clones in containers)...we still don't know what to do with these..."
Zor Prime:

[SRoss]

Zor Prime: "One of these canisters looks like it was crushed shredded and set on fire!"

Cabell: "That one contained Zormei, their attempt to do a Zor/Minmei hybrid."

[taalismn]

Cabell: "And as for Happy Happy Bouncy Zor....didn't last past the first presentation to the Robotech Masters..."
(flashback)
Zor: "I love you! Hugs! I love yo-"
Robotech Master: "Kill it."

[Arnie100]

Cabell: "Then there was Barney Zor, kept on singing that stupid "I love you, you love me" song to the point the Masters just shoved him out of an air lock, without a space suit. Horrible way to go. There was also a Munchkin Zor..."
Zor Prime: "I get the idea!"

[taalismn]

Rem: "So basically you kept pumping out copies until somebody thought to clean the rollers and change the cartridge?"

[Arnie100]

Cabell: "They were cleaned?!"
Zor Prime:

[taalismn]

Zor Prime: "But I was approved because I was the superior product, right?"
Cabell: "Actually, they approved of you because they were frankly exhausted by having to put up with the previous ones, and just jumped at the first marginally 'normal' one that came up..."

[Alpha 11]

:D

Forgot:
-Lawsuit-happy Zor
-Fur-Suitter Zor
-Redneck Zor
-Flatulent Zor
-Teenage Rebel Zor
-Sparkly Zor
-Cannibal Zor
-Nitpicker Zor
-Anime Over-Analysis Zor
-Keg-killer Zor
-Arsonist Zor
-Thumbsucker Zor
-Invisible Friend Zor
-Snarky Zor

:D

Forgot:
-Lawsuit-happy Zor
-Fur-Suitter Zor
-Redneck Zor
-Flatulent Zor
-Teenage Rebel Zor
-Sparkly Zor
-Cannibal Zor
-Nitpicker Zor
-Anime Over-Analysis Zor
-Keg-killer Zor
-Arsonist Zor
-Thumbsucker Zor
-Invisible Friend Zor
-Snarky Zor

Very true! And let us also not forget:

- Shops Exclusively at Trader Joe's Zor
- Thinks 'Maximum Overdrive' was a Great Movie Zor
- Clown Nose Zor
- Taliban Zor
- Scalps Tickets Zor
- Necrobeastiality Zor
- Monster Truck Zor
- A Little Bit Too Friendly Zor
- Village People Zor
- Gefilte Fish Zor
- Txts While Driving Zor
- Troll Zor
- Malt Liquor Connosieur Zor
- Throws Like A Girl Zor
- Puts Ketchup on EVERYTHING Zor
- Deliberately Sits in Gum Zor
- Totally Wants To Bang Catniss Everdeen Zor

One of Annie's favorites: Hello Kitty Zor

One of Annie's favorites: Hello Kitty Zor

That, too, is one of my favorites along with:

Betty Boop Zor

and

Power Puff Zor

Zor Prime: (Reading the list) "What the protoculture?! I thought I was the only one made!"
Cabell: "Trust me...there's more then you think...that was the first batch...(takes Zor to a sealed vault opens the door, which reavels a seemingly endless rows of Zor clones in containers)...we still don't know what to do with these..."
Zor Prime:

Zor Prime: "One of these canisters looks like it was crushed shredded and set on fire!"

Cabell: "That one contained Zormei, their attempt to do a Zor/Minmei hybrid."

[Alpha 11]

Cabell: "And as for Happy Happy Bouncy Zor....didn't last past the first presentation to the Robotech Masters..."
(flashback)
Zor: "I love you! Hugs! I love yo-"
Robotech Master: "Kill it."

Cabell: "Then there was Barney Zor, kept on singing that stupid "I love you, you love me" song to the point the Masters just shoved him out of an air lock, without a space suit. Horrible way to go. There was also a Munchkin Zor..."
Zor Prime: "I get the idea!"

Rem: "So basically you kept pumping out copies until somebody thought to clean the rollers and change the cartridge?"

Cabell: "They were cleaned?!"
Zor Prime:

Zor Prime: "But I was approved because I was the superior product, right?"
Cabell: "Actually, they approved of you because they were frankly exhausted by having to put up with the previous ones, and just jumped at the first marginally 'normal' one that came up..."

Until night comes and he brings out the chain saw!

[taalismn]

Dana: "Damn it, why'd I have to get 'Fear of Intimacy' Zor?"
Zor: "STAY AWAY FROM ME! I DON'T WANNA CATCH -COOTIES-!"

[Arnie100]

Zor Prime "How come all of a sudden I'm being picked on?"
Cabell: "We stilll don't know how copies of you are out there!"

[taalismn]

*rinnnngggggg*
"Hello? Louie Nichols speaking."
(thick accent)"Hello. This. is. windows. technical. service. We. have. detected. a. problem. with. your. computer. We. are. calling. to. fix. it."
"...wait just a second! I know this scam! You already called me twice today! I don't even run Windows! Quit calling me or I'll backtrack you call, find out where you are, and do something you'll regret!"
"You. do. that. I. can't. be. beat!"
"Okay. There you are!"
"I. told. you. I. can't. be. bea-GREATBHADDIVISTANi!!!!WHATTHEFLAMINGF-####SCCCCRRRRAAAAACCCKKKKK###
"Try to hack me, willya, you loser?! I think NOT."

[Alpha 11]

Zor: "I'm so glad I decided to hang out with you instead of sleeping all weekend."
Musica: "Yeah we had a great time, didn't we?"
Zor: "I love going to the lake."
Musica: "...........Um.. we didn't go to the lake; it was raining. We saw a movie..."
Zor: "Oh! That's right. Of course we did."
Musica: "Hey! That wasn't one of your clones was it???!!"
Zor: "Uh...look at the time! Gotta run!"

Dana: "Damn it, why'd I have to get 'Fear of Intimacy' Zor?"
Zor: "STAY AWAY FROM ME! I DON'T WANNA CATCH -COOTIES-!"

Scott: "Huh... I could swear I left the key to my Cyclone on the table, but it's not there.."

Kleptomania Zor (innocent look): "Don't know anything about that...."

Lisa: "I can't believe someone sent sex pix of me & Rick to the press!"

Paparazzi Zor: "Yeah... That's terrible..." (studiously avoids eye contact)

Annie: "From now on, stay away from my boyfriend!"

A Little Bit Too Friendly With Lunk Zor: "Geeze! What did I do???"

Dana: "My hand is getting tired."

Northern Gun Zor: "I told you it takes me a while..."

Zor Prime "How come all of a sudden I'm being picked on?"
Cabell: "We stilll don't know how copies of you are out there!"

*rinnnngggggg*
"Hello? Louie Nichols speaking."
(thick accent)"Hello. This. is. windows. technical. service. We. have. detected. a. problem. with. your. computer. We. are. calling. to. fix. it."
"...wait just a second! I know this scam! You already called me twice today! I don't even run Windows! Quit calling me or I'll backtrack you call, find out where you are, and do something you'll regret!"
"You. do. that. I. can't. be. beat!"
"Okay. There you are!"
"I. told. you. I. can't. be. bea-GREATBHADDIVISTANi!!!!WHATTHEFLAMINGF-####SCCCCRRRRAAAAACCCKKKKK###
"Try to hack me, willya, you loser?! I think NOT."

[Arnie100]

*rinnnngggggg*
"Hello? Louie Nichols speaking."
(thick accent)"Hello. This. is. windows. technical. service. We. have. detected. a. problem. with. your. computer. We. are. calling. to. fix. it."
"...wait just a second! I know this scam! You already called me twice today! I don't even run Windows! Quit calling me or I'll backtrack you call, find out where you are, and do something you'll regret!"
"You. do. that. I. can't. be. beat!"
"Okay. There you are!"
"I. told. you. I. can't. be. bea-GREATBHADDIVISTANi!!!!WHATTHEFLAMINGF-####SCCCCRRRRAAAAACCCKKKKK###
"Try to hack me, willya, you loser?! I think NOT."

Louie: "Damn Haydonites..."

[taalismn]

[

Louie: "Damn Haydonites..."

Actually, in my case, I think it was Southeast Asia....The guy really said after I threatened to use caller ID to block him "Go ahead. I can't be beaten." Bear in mind that this was after the THIRD time he called me in less than three hours(the second time, less than ten minutes after the FIRST time he called, I answered in falsetto and told him, after he delivered the EXACT same spiel, "we already have nice storm windows!").
I really need to cultivate a better selection of crank callers...scam artists these days are insultingly stupid and must assume that ALL Americans are fat, gullible, wealthy idiots who all have computers and yet know absolutely NOTHING about them...

[Arnie100]

[

Louie: "Damn Haydonites..."

Actually, in my case, I think it was Southeast Asia....The guy really said after I threatened to use caller ID to block him "Go ahead. I can't be beaten." Bear in mind that this was after the THIRD time he called me in less than three hours(the second time, less than ten minutes after the FIRST time he called, I answered in falsetto and told him, after he delivered the EXACT same spiel, "we already have nice storm windows!").
I really need to cultivate a better selection of crank callers...scam artists these days are insultingly stupid and must assume that ALL Americans are fat, gullible, wealthy idiots who all have computers and yet know absolutely NOTHING about them...

Oh, that sucks. Has he called again?

[taalismn]

[

Louie: "Damn Haydonites..."

Actually, in my case, I think it was Southeast Asia....The guy really said after I threatened to use caller ID to block him "Go ahead. I can't be beaten." Bear in mind that this was after the THIRD time he called me in less than three hours(the second time, less than ten minutes after the FIRST time he called, I answered in falsetto and told him, after he delivered the EXACT same spiel, "we already have nice storm windows!").
I really need to cultivate a better selection of crank callers...scam artists these days are insultingly stupid and must assume that ALL Americans are fat, gullible, wealthy idiots who all have computers and yet know absolutely NOTHING about them...

Oh, that sucks. Has he called again?

Not since I disconnected the phone to go online.
But tomorrow's another day. And these lackwits tend to call multiple times. So I spread the word to my neighbors and coworkers that the scammers are phone-bombing the area again.

[taalismn]

[You will definitely appreciate this guy's site: some scammer in Nigeria messes with him and he scams the scammer royally, actually tricking the guy to get a self-insulting tattoo..!

http://419eater.com/html/okorie.htm

I particularly love the guy who rigged up a standalone computer stuffed with viral programs in a folder marked 'passwords' and the most disgusting pron he could find in a folder marked 'finances'. Just as the other guy starts copying everything on the harddrive, the counter-scammer(who's been acting like an old geezer) sweetly signs off the phone with 'hope you enjoy the files as miuch as I did'.

[taalismn]

*rinnnngggggg*
"Hello? Janice Em speaking."
(thick accent)"Hello. This. is. windows. technical. service. We. have. detected. a. problem. with. your. computer. We. are. calling. to. fix. it."
"...I am aware of your effort to extort information and money from ignorant computer users! Be aware I do not run Windows!"
"Everybody. Uses, Windows! You. Have. A Problem. Our. Records, Show. It."
"Are you also aware that certain high pitched tones can cause a phone's speaker diaphraghm to overheat and spontaneous combust? Would you like a demonstration?"
"You. do. that. I. can't. be- "SSSSAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEE"AGH-!!!!!"

[SRoss]

*rinnnngggggg*
"Hello? Janice Em speaking."
(thick accent)"Hello. This. is. windows. technical. service. We. have. detected. a. problem. with. your. computer. We. are. calling. to. fix. it."
"...I am aware of your effort to extort information and money from ignorant computer users! Be aware I do not run Windows!"
"Everybody. Uses, Windows! You. Have. A Problem. Our. Records, Show. It."
"Are you also aware that certain high pitched tones can cause a phone's speaker diaphraghm to overheat and spontaneous combust? Would you like a demonstration?"
"You. do. that. I. can't. be- "SSSSAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEE"AGH-!!!!!"

In a tree outside J.A.N.I.C.E.'s window...
UEDF DoUW Operative: (Scribbling notes) "This is great!"

[taalismn]

*rinnnngggggg*
"Hello? Sammy Porter speaking. This better be important."
(thick accent)"Hello. This. is. windows. technical. service. We. have. detected. a. problem. with. your. computer. We. are. calling. to. fix. it."
"...do you have any idea who you're speaking to? I'm a bridge systems OPERATOR, I know more about computers than you EVER will, I've finally gotten home for some real food and some honest-to-god SLEEP and you're calling me with THIS insulting crap?! Do you know how many ways I can RUIN you?!"
"Go. Ahead. I. Can't. Be. Be-WHATTHEHELL?!WHOTHEHELLAREALLYOUPEOPLE?!NO!PUTDOWNTHEGUNS!!NO!NO!AIIEEE---"
#"Perp down, Miss Porter. What shall we do with this guy?"#
"Dump him with the other crank callers."
#"Right away, Miss Porter. Have a good evening.(okay, guys, get mixing concrete!)"#

[SRoss]

*rinnnngggggg*
"Hello? Sammy Porter speaking. This better be important."
(thick accent)"Hello. This. is. windows. technical. service. We. have. detected. a. problem. with. your. computer. We. are. calling. to. fix. it."
"...do you have any idea who you're speaking to? I'm a bridge systems OPERATOR, I know more about computers than you EVER will, I've finally gotten home for some real food and some honest-to-god SLEEP and you're calling me with THIS insulting crap?! Do you know how many ways I can RUIN you?!"
"Go. Ahead. I. Can't. Be. Be-WHATTHEHELL?!WHOTHEHELLAREALLYOUPEOPLE?!NO!PUTDOWNTHEGUNS!!NO!NO!AIIEEE---"
#"Perp down, Miss Porter. What shall we do with this guy?"#
"Dump him with the other crank callers."
#"Right away, Miss Porter. Have a good evening.(okay, guys, get mixing concrete!)"#

"At least she didn't use the Main Gun on him this time."

[taalismn]

[
"At least she didn't use the Main Gun on him this time."

Too many complaints about breaching the planet's crust last time.

[SRoss]

*RINNNNGGGGGG*

"HELLO? THIS IS THE AWARENESS."
(thick accent)"Hello. This. is. windows. technical. service. We. have. detected. a. problem. with. your. computer. We. are. calling. to. fix. it."
"...I FORESEE THAT THIS IS A SCAM... I AM THE MOST POWERFUL MACHINE INTELLIGENCE IN THE UNIVERSE... I DON'T EVEN RUN WINDOWS... IF YOU PERSIST IN THIS I WILL DO SOMETHING THAT YOU WILL COME TO REGRET."
"You. do. that. I. can't. be. beat!"
"DOWNLOAD COMMENCING."
"I. told. you. I. can't. be. bea-GREATSHIVA'SGHOST!!!!WHATTHENINEHE-"

####BOOOOOOMMMM!!!###

"ORGANICS ARE NO MATCH FOR THE MIGHT OF THE HAYDONITES."

Sparks: "Sir! Nigeria and New Deli just exploded!"

[taalismn]

...I actually find myself applauding the neo-toasters....

[Arnie100]

*RINNNNGGGGGG*

"Hello, Annie speaking!"
(thick accent)"Hello. This. is. windows. technical. service. We. have. detected. a. problem. with. your. computer. We. are. calling. to. fix. it."
"Really??"
(thick accent) "Of. Course. We -- Tattoo. Myself? PUNK'D. BY. A. GIRL? Yes. I. Obey.

[Alpha 11]

*rinnnngggggg*
"Hello? Louie Nichols speaking."
(thick accent)"Hello. This. is. windows. technical. service. We. have. detected. a. problem. with. your. computer. We. are. calling. to. fix. it."
"...wait just a second! I know this scam! You already called me twice today! I don't even run Windows! Quit calling me or I'll backtrack you call, find out where you are, and do something you'll regret!"
"You. do. that. I. can't. be. beat!"
"Okay. There you are!"
"I. told. you. I. can't. be. bea-GREATBHADDIVISTANi!!!!WHATTHEFLAMINGF-####SCCCCRRRRAAAAACCCKKKKK###
"Try to hack me, willya, you loser?! I think NOT."

Louie: "Damn Haydonites..."

[

Louie: "Damn Haydonites..."

Actually, in my case, I think it was Southeast Asia....The guy really said after I threatened to use caller ID to block him "Go ahead. I can't be beaten." Bear in mind that this was after the THIRD time he called me in less than three hours(the second time, less than ten minutes after the FIRST time he called, I answered in falsetto and told him, after he delivered the EXACT same spiel, "we already have nice storm windows!").
I really need to cultivate a better selection of crank callers...scam artists these days are insultingly stupid and must assume that ALL Americans are fat, gullible, wealthy idiots who all have computers and yet know absolutely NOTHING about them...

Wow, never heard of that happening before.

[

Louie: "Damn Haydonites..."

Actually, in my case, I think it was Southeast Asia....The guy really said after I threatened to use caller ID to block him "Go ahead. I can't be beaten." Bear in mind that this was after the THIRD time he called me in less than three hours(the second time, less than ten minutes after the FIRST time he called, I answered in falsetto and told him, after he delivered the EXACT same spiel, "we already have nice storm windows!").
I really need to cultivate a better selection of crank callers...scam artists these days are insultingly stupid and must assume that ALL Americans are fat, gullible, wealthy idiots who all have computers and yet know absolutely NOTHING about them...

You will definitely appreciate this guy's site: some scammer in Nigeria messes with him and he scams the scammer royally, actually tricking the guy to get a self-insulting tattoo..!

http://419eater.com/html/okorie.htm

Good for that guy!

[You will definitely appreciate this guy's site: some scammer in Nigeria messes with him and he scams the scammer royally, actually tricking the guy to get a self-insulting tattoo..!

http://419eater.com/html/okorie.htm

I particularly love the guy who rigged up a standalone computer stuffed with viral programs in a folder marked 'passwords' and the most disgusting pron he could find in a folder marked 'finances'. Just as the other guy starts copying everything on the harddrive, the counter-scammer(who's been acting like an old geezer) sweetly signs off the phone with 'hope you enjoy the files as miuch as I did'.

*rinnnngggggg*
"Hello? Janice Em speaking."
(thick accent)"Hello. This. is. windows. technical. service. We. have. detected. a. problem. with. your. computer. We. are. calling. to. fix. it."
"...I am aware of your effort to extort information and money from ignorant computer users! Be aware I do not run Windows!"
"Everybody. Uses, Windows! You. Have. A Problem. Our. Records, Show. It."
"Are you also aware that certain high pitched tones can cause a phone's speaker diaphraghm to overheat and spontaneous combust? Would you like a demonstration?"
"You. do. that. I. can't. be- "SSSSAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEE"AGH-!!!!!"

*rinnnngggggg*
"Hello? Janice Em speaking."
(thick accent)"Hello. This. is. windows. technical. service. We. have. detected. a. problem. with. your. computer. We. are. calling. to. fix. it."
"...I am aware of your effort to extort information and money from ignorant computer users! Be aware I do not run Windows!"
"Everybody. Uses, Windows! You. Have. A Problem. Our. Records, Show. It."
"Are you also aware that certain high pitched tones can cause a phone's speaker diaphraghm to overheat and spontaneous combust? Would you like a demonstration?"
"You. do. that. I. can't. be- "SSSSAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEE"AGH-!!!!!"

In a tree outside J.A.N.I.C.E.'s window...
UEDF DoUW Operative: (Scribbling notes) "This is great!"

*rinnnngggggg*
"Hello? Sammy Porter speaking. This better be important."
(thick accent)"Hello. This. is. windows. technical. service. We. have. detected. a. problem. with. your. computer. We. are. calling. to. fix. it."
"...do you have any idea who you're speaking to? I'm a bridge systems OPERATOR, I know more about computers than you EVER will, I've finally gotten home for some real food and some honest-to-god SLEEP and you're calling me with THIS insulting crap?! Do you know how many ways I can RUIN you?!"
"Go. Ahead. I. Can't. Be. Be-WHATTHEHELL?!WHOTHEHELLAREALLYOUPEOPLE?!NO!PUTDOWNTHEGUNS!!NO!NO!AIIEEE---"
#"Perp down, Miss Porter. What shall we do with this guy?"#
"Dump him with the other crank callers."
#"Right away, Miss Porter. Have a good evening.(okay, guys, get mixing concrete!)"#

*rinnnngggggg*
"Hello? Sammy Porter speaking. This better be important."
(thick accent)"Hello. This. is. windows. technical. service. We. have. detected. a. problem. with. your. computer. We. are. calling. to. fix. it."
"...do you have any idea who you're speaking to? I'm a bridge systems OPERATOR, I know more about computers than you EVER will, I've finally gotten home for some real food and some honest-to-god SLEEP and you're calling me with THIS insulting crap?! Do you know how many ways I can RUIN you?!"
"Go. Ahead. I. Can't. Be. Be-WHATTHEHELL?!WHOTHEHELLAREALLYOUPEOPLE?!NO!PUTDOWNTHEGUNS!!NO!NO!AIIEEE---"
#"Perp down, Miss Porter. What shall we do with this guy?"#
"Dump him with the other crank callers."
#"Right away, Miss Porter. Have a good evening.(okay, guys, get mixing concrete!)"#

"At least she didn't use the Main Gun on him this time."

[
"At least she didn't use the Main Gun on him this time."

Too many complaints about breaching the planet's crust last time.

*RINNNNGGGGGG*

"HELLO? THIS IS THE AWARENESS."
(thick accent)"Hello. This. is. windows. technical. service. We. have. detected. a. problem. with. your. computer. We. are. calling. to. fix. it."
"...I FORESEE THAT THIS IS A SCAM... I AM THE MOST POWERFUL MACHINE INTELLIGENCE IN THE UNIVERSE... I DON'T EVEN RUN WINDOWS... IF YOU PERSIST IN THIS I WILL DO SOMETHING THAT YOU WILL COME TO REGRET."
"You. do. that. I. can't. be. beat!"
"DOWNLOAD COMMENCING."
"I. told. you. I. can't. be. bea-GREATSHIVA'SGHOST!!!!WHATTHENINEHE-"

####BOOOOOOMMMM!!!###

"ORGANICS ARE NO MATCH FOR THE MIGHT OF THE HAYDONITES."

Sparks: "Sir! Nigeria and New Deli just exploded!"

...I actually find myself applauding the neo-toasters....

Same here.

*RINNNNGGGGGG*

"Hello, Annie speaking!"
(thick accent)"Hello. This. is. windows. technical. service. We. have. detected. a. problem. with. your. computer. We. are. calling. to. fix. it."
"Really??"
(thick accent) "Of. Course. We -- Tattoo. Myself? PUNK'D. BY. A. GIRL? Yes. I. Obey.

[taalismn]

[

Wow, never heard of that happening before.l:

Consider yourself lucky...or maybe just young.
What I suspect is that these guys have access to a demographics list listing the probable phone numbers of older people...the sort who get stuff they don't understand and freak when something goes wrong, or they're told something is wrong. Ideally SENILE old people who scare easily and get confused, and will follow a friendly voice offering to help. Of course, the caller never identifies themselves by name, and uses words like 'Windows' and 'Microsoft', which are words to conjure by in our culture.
We tend to get rashes of these sorts of calls in my area, mainly because of population density and affluence, and because of the larger concentrations of aging folk more likely to have home computers and other gizmos. But the scam relies on gullibility and scare tactics(never mind that their intended victim pool likely contains more than a few people who have WRITTEN computer programs).
Last year I got hit five or six times with the same get-line. Ar least it was a female last year; this time around it was a dumb kid.

[Alpha 11]

[

Wow, never heard of that happening before.l:

Consider yourself lucky...or maybe just young.
What I suspect is that these guys have access to a demographics list listing the probable phone numbers of older people...the sort who get stuff they don't understand and freak when something goes wrong, or they're told something is wrong. Ideally SENILE old people who scare easily and get confused, and will follow a friendly voice offering to help. Of course, the caller never identifies themselves by name, and uses words like 'Windows' and 'Microsoft', which are words to conjure by in our culture.
We tend to get rashes of these sorts of calls in my area, mainly because of population density and affluence, and because of the larger concentrations of aging folk more likely to have home computers and other gizmos. But the scam relies on gullibility and scare tactics(never mind that their intended victim pool likely contains more than a few people who have WRITTEN computer programs).
Last year I got hit five or six times with the same get-line. Ar least it was a female last year; this time around it was a dumb kid.

Man if you get hit that many times, you aught to get some type of tracer device and backtrack to were the call is coming from then give it to the police. Though I wouldn't be surprised it such a device is illegal for you to own.

[taalismn]

[

Man if you get hit that many times, you aught to get some type of tracer device and backtrack to were the call is coming from then give it to the police. Though I wouldn't be surprised it such a device is illegal for you to own.

I threatened the meatpuppet on the other end with exactly that...that's where the 'Go ahead, I can't be beat' comes from; the little jerk(s) are usually calling from overseas, so backtracing is useless. The countries these scammers call from don't have strong anti-fraud laws and no real incentive to cooperate with the Americans in hunting down the only growth industries they have. The best you can hope for is to spot them on caller ID, and spread the word about them to anybody you think might be susceptible.

I'm surprised you haven't been hit at some time or other.

Other clues that you're being scammed?
-If you pick up the phone on the first or second ring and nobdy answers immediately. Maybe you get a hiss and a click as the automated message on the other end tries to reset, or the living operator takes too long to talk to you.. They're likely dialing several phones simultaneously to see if they can get a warm body on the other end on at least one of the,.
- The guy doesn't ask for anybody specific, nor does he ID himself personally.
-Listen for the sound of a crowded room in the background. Odds are it's a recording meant to give the impression of a busy professional office
-He'll stick to his script, no matter what you say that contradicts him.

[taalismn]

[

I'll tell you what else: During the last national election, I got calls from at least 20 different numbers, each representing a different political postion, including that of the office of the Big Cheese. But I've never made any calls to political organizations nor given my number to them, so I wonder how much they paid to buy my contract information from the carrier. It's this kind of abuse, for no other reason than advertising purposes, that is quite irritating, I must say. Ethics seems to be a thing of the distant past.

You must be a political swing zone...we hardly got any political calls(mainly because I'm a registered Independent and therefore lumped with 'hippie political fringe freaks')). Legit PR firms still have to abide by the 'do not call' lists, but the loophole is robo-calling, since they can always claim their systems went errant*, and of course the scammers don't give a flaming huwaggi.

*I have nightmares about walking down the street, hearing an all-too-familiar voice behind me and automatically wreaking grievous bodily harm on the wretch who recorded a damn robo-call('phone rage' is not a permissible legal defense).

As for ethics in advertising? I'd make the claim that a careful study of history shows that from the age of snake oil onwards, there ain't EVER been an Ethical Age of Advertising. The communications boom just allows them to annoy people quicker and in more places.