Robotech Blooper Reels

[taalismn]

Rand: (looking at 4th Wall) "Remember, folks, friends don't set their friends on fire. They just don'AAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!"
Sera: "...oops..."

[SRoss]

Rand: (looking at 4th Wall) "Remember, folks, friends don't set their friends on fire. They just don'AAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!"
Sera: "...oops..."

Lancer: (Flipping through a book on Pregnancy) "Yep! Mood swings."

[Arnie100]

"Rand; seriously, this is getting out of hand...I'm releasing you into HER (points at Sera) care!"
"NNNNNOOOOOOO!!! Please, NO!!"
"Thanks, Dr. Grant, I'll take good care of him! "

[taalismn]

Rand: "Lancer! DO SOMETHING!"
Lancer: "Okay."(walks over to the other end of the room)
Rand: "...very funny.."
Lancer: "Thanks! I thought it was pretty droll myself.""

[Arnie100]

"That was it?!"
"What did you expect? Me to jump in and save you?"
"Well..."
"Here's the thing...I have to live with her. You think I want HER mad at ME?"

[Alpha 11]

"Where's Rand?! I'm gonna kill 'im!"
"Sera..."
"It was HORRIBLE!"
"Me?? I didn't do anything!"

Rand: "So you saw my public service spot about not sticking things that don't belong in your mouth? Yeah, pretty horrible. Talk about dumbass messages....there I am telling people to watch what they eat, and that things like pens, small change, and car keys aren't digestible. I mean how dumb are people really that they have to be reminded of these things?! I look like a total dofus saying that!"

(Back in the infirmary)

"Well; Rand, from your rear end, we pulled out a pen, a set of car keys and some change...what do you have to say for yourself?"
"Mmmmpppppphhh!!"
"I see you tried to eat your boot..."
"Sure, Sera did this to you. A kind, loving person like that?"

Rand: (looking at 4th Wall) "Remember, folks, friends don't set their friends on fire. They just don'AAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!"
Sera: "...oops..."

Rand: (looking at 4th Wall) "Remember, folks, friends don't set their friends on fire. They just don'AAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!"
Sera: "...oops..."

Lancer: (Flipping through a book on Pregnancy) "Yep! Mood swings."

"Rand; seriously, this is getting out of hand...I'm releasing you into HER (points at Sera) care!"
"NNNNNOOOOOOO!!! Please, NO!!"
"Thanks, Dr. Grant, I'll take good care of him! "

Rand: "Lancer! DO SOMETHING!"
Lancer: "Okay."(walks over to the other end of the room)
Rand: "...very funny.."
Lancer: "Thanks! I thought it was pretty droll myself.""

"That was it?!"
"What did you expect? Me to jump in and save you?"
"Well..."
"Here's the thing...I have to live with her. You think I want HER mad at ME?"

[taalismn]

Rand: "Hi, Rook!"
Rook: "Rand?! Aren't you supposed to be in the infirmary? With multiple injuries?"
Rand: "I'm a Forager. When you live apart from people in the wilderness all by yourself you learn to be a quick healer."
Rook: "So you heal fast? How fast? Never mind, we'll just have to find out!"
Rand: (looking at 4th Wall as Rook snaps a metal collar around his neck and yanks him off-camera) "Honestly, how many of you could see this coming a mile off? Raise your hands."

[taalismn]

(and back to Classics)

"Boobytrap':
The SDF-1's Main Gun fires, sending as massive swathe of destructive energy shooting out into space, screaming higher and farther towards the advancing Zentraedi scouts....

...and obliterates the two A.R.M.D. units and their escort group instead.


(aboard the Zentraedi Flagship)
Breetai: " "
Exedore: " "
Exedore: "They just obliterated two of their own vessels! Just like that! What a brutal species!"
Breetai: "That's Zor's battlefortress alright. And probably a pre-programmed shot."
Exedore: "How can you be so certain?!"
Breetai: "Zor, brilliant eccentric scientist, but he couldn't handle a weapon to save his life...Lousy, and I mean LOUSY, shot."

(flashback)
(Zor's last encampment is being invaded by the Invid, Zentraedi are rushing to combat, while Zor's bodyguard is showing Zor a pistol)
Vard: "No, no, no, sir, you hold the pistol like THIS!"
Zor: "Like THIS?"
*BLAM*"Goghg!*#Thud#
Vard: "Oh....you have got to be kidding me....MEDIC! ZOR'S DOWN!"
Dolza: "Did the Invid get him?! The Invid aren't even here!"
Vard: "No, the Invid didn't get him, he---no, the Invid got him! Defend Zor! GET A MEDIC!"
(end flashback)

Breetai: "#####ing lousy shot...."

(Alternative)
#BLAM#
"Nice shot, but Breetai's one of OURS."
"Oops..."
"Don't worry, I think he'll live, but that side of his face is going to never be the same..."
(End flashback)

Breetai: "Ouch..."

(alternative 2)
#BLAM#
"...*yak*...."
"Sorry, Vard. My oopsie!"

(alternative 3)
#BLAM#
Dolza: "WHO ####ING SHOT ME!!!!???? EAT LEAD!!!"
-BLAM-BLAM-BLAM-BLAM!-
"...gak....!"
Vard: "...ah, Dolza...you just killed Zor!"
Dolza: "Oopsie! Combat rage? Buck fever? OH LOOK! THE INVID KILLED ZOR!!!! EVERYBODY! DEFEND ZOR!!!"

[SRoss]

Regis: (Looking at her troops) "Alright! Which one of you dummies shot Zor!?!"

Random Scout: "Um... Corg did it."

Corg: "HEY!!!"

[Arnie100]

"So; Cabell, that's why all the Zor clones?"
"Yes, Zor. That's why. Your ancestor wasn't...too bright, shall we say?"

[taalismn]

Sadly, poor marksmanship seems to be a GENETIC trait with Zor:

Karno: "Zor Prime! You are required to present your issued sidearm for inspection! Present your weapon! Zor Prime, why is the safety not engag-*BLAM*
Zor Prime: "Ah, the safety's this wiggly little bit, right?"
".....*gahrk-gurgle*...."

[Arnie100]

"Lord Breetai, Zor Prime will be joining us for this combat patrol...MiLord?"
"That's excellent! Thank you for volunteering to act as Zor's bodyguard!"
" MiLord, PLEASE! Anything but THAT!"
"No, need to thank me! Dismissed!"
(Sobbing)
"So, let me make sure I got this right...this end I point at the bad guys...squeeze this little button thingy...and...BLAMBLAMBLAM...Hey, where'd everybody go?"

[taalismn]

"Now. Zor. I know you're familiar with Tirolian weapons, but let's get you acquainted with what we use in the Southern Cross. This is one of our laser rifles-"
"I'm perfectly capable of figuring out the operation of your weapons by seeing the basic principles. THis is clearly the trig-"
***ZAAARRRTTTZZZZ***
"eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee(whimper)"
"...was that Sean?"
"I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to do that. Is Mister Phillips badly injured?"
">..ah, nothing plenty of women haven't wanted to do to him over the years. Ah, yes, that was indeed the trigger. Now this here is the safety."
"This little wiggly bit here?"
***FREEEM***
"YYYAAAIIIGHHHHH!!!"
"...Angelo, they can fix that at the hospital!"

[Alpha 11]

Rand: "Hi, Rook!"
Rook: "Rand?! Aren't you supposed to be in the infirmary? With multiple injuries?"
Rand: "I'm a Forager. When you live apart from people in the wilderness all by yourself you learn to be a quick healer."
Rook: "So you heal fast? How fast? Never mind, we'll just have to find out!"
Rand: (looking at 4th Wall as Rook snaps a metal collar around his neck and yanks him off-camera) "Honestly, how many of you could see this coming a mile off? Raise your hands."

(and back to Classics)

"Boobytrap':
The SDF-1's Main Gun fires, sending as massive swathe of destructive energy shooting out into space, screaming higher and farther towards the advancing Zentraedi scouts....

...and obliterates the two A.R.M.D. units and their escort group instead.


(aboard the Zentraedi Flagship)
Breetai: " "
Exedore: " "
Exedore: "They just obliterated two of their own vessels! Just like that! What a brutal species!"
Breetai: "That's Zor's battlefortress alright. And probably a pre-programmed shot."
Exedore: "How can you be so certain?!"
Breetai: "Zor, brilliant eccentric scientist, but he couldn't handle a weapon to save his life...Lousy, and I mean LOUSY, shot."

(flashback)
(Zor's last encampment is being invaded by the Invid, Zentraedi are rushing to combat, while Zor's bodyguard is showing Zor a pistol)
Vard: "No, no, no, sir, you hold the pistol like THIS!"
Zor: "Like THIS?"
*BLAM*"Goghg!*#Thud#
Vard: "Oh....you have got to be kidding me....MEDIC! ZOR'S DOWN!"
Dolza: "Did the Invid get him?! The Invid aren't even here!"
Vard: "No, the Invid didn't get him, he---no, the Invid got him! Defend Zor! GET A MEDIC!"
(end flashback)

Breetai: "#####ing lousy shot...."

(Alternative)
#BLAM#
"Nice shot, but Breetai's one of OURS."
"Oops..."
"Don't worry, I think he'll live, but that side of his face is going to never be the same..."
(End flashback)

Breetai: "Ouch..."

(alternative 2)
#BLAM#
"...*yak*...."
"Sorry, Vard. My oopsie!"

(alternative 3)
#BLAM#
Dolza: "WHO ####ING SHOT ME!!!!???? EAT LEAD!!!"
-BLAM-BLAM-BLAM-BLAM!-
"...gak....!"
Vard: "...ah, Dolza...you just killed Zor!"
Dolza: "Oopsie! Combat rage? Buck fever? OH LOOK! THE INVID KILLED ZOR!!!! EVERYBODY! DEFEND ZOR!!!"

Regis: (Looking at her troops) "Alright! Which one of you dummies shot Zor!?!"

Random Scout: "Um... Corg did it."

Corg: "HEY!!!"

"So; Cabell, that's why all the Zor clones?"
"Yes, Zor. That's why. Your ancestor wasn't...too bright, shall we say?"

[Alpha 11]

Sadly, poor marksmanship seems to be a GENETIC trait with Zor:

Karno: "Zor Prime! You are required to present your issued sidearm for inspection! Present your weapon! Zor Prime, why is the safety not engag-*BLAM*
Zor Prime: "Ah, the safety's this wiggly little bit, right?"
".....*gahrk-gurgle*...."

"Lord Breetai, Zor Prime will be joining us for this combat patrol...MiLord?"
"That's excellent! Thank you for volunteering to act as Zor's bodyguard!"
" MiLord, PLEASE! Anything but THAT!"
"No, need to thank me! Dismissed!"
(Sobbing)
"So, let me make sure I got this right...this end I point at the bad guys...squeeze this little button thingy...and...BLAMBLAMBLAM...Hey, where'd everybody go?"

"Now. Zor. I know you're familiar with Tirolian weapons, but let's get you acquainted with what we use in the Southern Cross. This is one of our laser rifles-"
"I'm perfect;y capable of figuring out the operation of your weapons by seeing the basic principles. THis is clearly the trig-"
***ZAAARRRTTTZZZZ***
"eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee(whimper)"
"...was that Sean?"
"I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to do that. Is Mister Phillips badly injured?"
">..ah, nothing plenty of women haven't wanted to do him over the years. Ah, yes, that was indeed the trigger. Now this here is the safety."
"This little wiggly bit here?"
***FREEEM***
"YYYAAAIIIGHHHHH!!!"
"...Angelo, they can fix that at the hospital!"

[taalismn]

"Dana."
"Nova! What brings you by here?"
"Just checking on Zor. How is he fitting into your squa-"
***FREEM***
"WWHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"
"...Zor, that's NOT how you eject an e-clip!"
"Sorry."
"Firearms orientation may have suffered a setback."
"sobwhimpermoancry"

[SRoss]

A mountainside on Macross Island

Kyle: "She'll never find us here! We've gone back before the launch."

Edwards: (Looking about) "This mountainside looks familiar, but I can't place it."

Notices that the SDF-1's Reflex Cannon is pointed directly at them and charging.

Edwards: (Pointing it out to Kyle) "You did remember in one of the timelines she's Zor's mother, right?"

Kyle: "Oh Crap..."

[Arnie100]

The real reason the SDF-1 was sent to Earth

"Cabell, ian't there any way you could improve Zor's combat ability? He's terrorizing my troops!"
"I'm afraid not, MiLord Breetai...you could; uhm, shoot him, stick him in his ship and send it to some backwater planet that no one cares about?"
"An excellent suggestion! It shall be carried out immediately!"

[taalismn]

“Okay, folks, the good news; Zor has successfully completed eight hours of firearms training without incident-”
“As opposed to sixteen hours of mowing down bystanders.”
“Are we SURE he’s not still working for the enemy?”
“Reasonably sure, Angelo. And the hospital called to assure me that they managed to get Bowie’s eyebrows re-attached. He’ll be released in two days.”
“Good thing I remembered to pack them in ice for the surgical team.”
“Smart thinking, Louie, and Bowie appreciates it. The better news is that Nova won’t be out for out for a week.”
“That’s GOOD news?”
“She won’t be bothering us for at least a week. That’s just for the physical damage. The psychological damage may lay her up for longer. Apparently a laser near-masectomy can be pretty tramautizing.”
“Ah. Good news is indeed hard to come by.”
“That’s it for the good news. Now, I need a volunteer to orient Zor on grenades- come back here!!!!!”

[Arnie100]

"C'mon; guys, there's hazardous duty pay in it for you!"
"It's not worth it!"
"Dana, they just released me from the hospital! "
"Bowie!! Am I glad to see you!"

(Later at the range)

"So, I pull this thing...now what?"
"THROW IT! I'm gonna get you for this, Dana...you just wait..."
"Am I supposed to keep the ball?"
"Oh, no..."

[taalismn]

"PUT THE SAFETY PIN BACK IN THE SPOON CLAMP!!!!"
"Ah, that's the little wiggly part, right?"


"Dana, the range safety officer wants to talk to you about what it's going to take to repair the crater that USED to be the grenade range."
".....I expressly told the quartermaster to issue Zor only PRACTICE grenades...."
"You SURE he's not still working for the other side?"

[Arnie100]

"Oh; and Bowie's sending you the medical bill..."

[Alpha 11]

"Dana."
"Nova! What brings you by here?"
"Just checking on Zor. How is he fitting into your squa-"
***FREEM***
"WWHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"
"...Zor, that's NOT how you eject an e-clip!"
"Sorry."
"Firearms orientation may have suffered a setback."
"sobwhimpermoancry"

A mountainside on Macross Island

Kyle: "She'll never find us here! We've gone back before the launch."

Edwards: (Looking about) "This mountainside looks familiar, but I can't place it."

Notices that the SDF-1's Reflex Cannon is pointed directly at them and charging.

Edwards: (Pointing it out to Kyle) "You did remember in one of the timelines she's Zor's mother, right?"

Kyle: "Oh Crap..."

The real reason the SDF-1 was sent to Earth

"Cabell, ian't there any way you could improve Zor's combat ability? He's terrorizing my troops!"
"I'm afraid not, MiLord Breetai...you could; uhm, shoot him, stick him in his ship and send it to some backwater planet that no one cares about?"
"An excellent suggestion! It shall be carried out immediately!"

“Okay, folks, the good news; Zor has successfully completed eight hours of firearms training without incident-”
“As opposed to sixteen hours of mowing down bystanders.”
“Are we SURE he’s not still working for the enemy?”
“Reasonably sure, Angelo. And the hospital called to assure me that they managed to get Bowie’s eyebrows re-attached. He’ll be released in two days.”
“Good thing I remembered to pack them in ice for the surgical team.”
“Smart thinking, Louie, and Bowie appreciates it. The better news is that Nova won’t be out for out for a week.”
“That’s GOOD news?”
“She won’t be bothering us for at least a week. That’s just for the physical damage. The psychological damage may lay her up for longer. Apparently a laser near-masectomy can be pretty tramautizing.”
“Ah. Good news is indeed hard to come by.”
“That’s it for the good news. Now, I need a volunteer to orient Zor on grenades- come back here!!!!!”

[Alpha 11]

"C'mon; guys, there's hazardous duty pay in it for you!"
"It's not worth it!"
"Dana, they just released me from the hospital! "
"Bowie!! Am I glad to see you!"

(Later at the range)

"So, I pull this thing...now what?"
"THROW IT! I'm gonna get you for this, Dana...you just wait..."
"Am I supposed to keep the ball?"
"Oh, no..."

"PUT THE SAFETY PIN BACK IN THE SPOON CLAMP!!!!"
"Ah, that's the little wiggly part, right?"


"Dana, the range safety officer wants to talk to you about what it's going to take to repair the crater that USED to be the grenade range."
".....I expressly told the quartermaster to issue Zor only PRACTICE grenades...."
"You SURE he's not still working for the other side?"

"Oh; and Bowie's sending you the medical bill..."

[Arnie100]

Aboard The Master's flagship...

Master #1: "By the Protoculture, this is most amusing!"
Master #2: "Indeed, I haven't laughed this hard when Lord Breetai told us what happened to the original Zor!"
Master #3: "Zor Prime's doing more damage then our attacks ever could!"
Science Master: "Shall we have Zor recalled and debriefed?"
Master #1: "Are you daft? You want HIM back here?!"
Master #2: "There was a reason we sent him down there in the first place!"
Master #3: "You would deprive us of our entertainment?"
Science Master: "No; of course not, sorry MiLords...will never be mentioned again!" (Runs put of the room)
Master #1: "Children...they'll never learn."

[SRoss]

Aboard The Master's flagship...

Master #1: "By the Protoculture, this is most amusing!"
Master #2: "Indeed, I haven't laughed this hard when Lord Breetai told us what happened to the original Zor!"
Master #3: "Zor Prime's doing more damage then our attacks ever could!"
Science Master: "Shall we have Zor recalled and debriefed?"
Master #1: "Are you daft? You want HIM back here?!"
Master #2: "There was a reason we sent him down there in the first place!"
Master #3: "You would deprive us of our entertainment?"
Science Master: "No; of course not, sorry MiLords...will never be mentioned again!" (Runs put of the room)
Master #1: "Children...they'll never learn."

Their enjoyment is suddenly interrupted by a voice from the open door.

"Laugh at MY son will you!"

Master #1: "WHO DARES DISTURB US!?!"

Minmei: (Tossing a Cobalt Grenade into the room) "See you in hell boys."

[Arnie100]

(Unfortunately for Minmei, the grenade bounces off a wall and rolls into another room)

Minmei: "Dammit, I missed again! It shouldn't be too hard to throw these things!"
Master #1:
Master #2: "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!"
Master #3: "So that's where Zor gets his combat; ahem, skills!"
Minmei: "Laugh at me, will you? (Pulls out a giant mini-gun) No way I should miss with this thing!"
Masters:

[taalismn]

“So, el-tee, what are the hospital stays going to be THIS time? I imagine Bowie and Zor are going to be laid up big time, what with area of effect.”
“It’s more like travel time, Sean. They found Zor in Cuba and they have to send him back here on a regular transport.”
“Can we refuse extradition?”
“No! And as for Bowie...they haven’t found him yet. They’re widenning the search area, though.”
“You know, this reminds me of the time Louie tried to boost the speed of his ‘tank by bolting on that SLMH thruster from a Logan, and he ended up in Christchurch, New Zealand!”
“...if only I had remembered you have to have equal and opposite thrust to brake with a hovervehicle....”
-zeeeg-zeeeg-
“I got it!”
“We’re just going to have take Zor back.”
“Can they at least quarantine him for awhile? He might have picked up some nasty tropical disease in Cuba. That would give us time to order better body armor!”
“Comm’s for you, Dana.”
“Hello, Lieutenant Sterling here, to whom am I speaking? I am? You are. Yes...we are...You did? Is...? Okay, that’s good. No, we don’t! I assure you, we don’t! Will you...? Thank you! Yes, we’ll try try not to in the future. Thank you! Thank you!”
-click-
“Who was that, Dana?”
“Mayor of Christchurch, New Zealand. Wanted to know why we were bombing his city with our people. Seems they found Bowie hanging by his undershorts from a tree in front of their town hall. They’re sending him back soonest, but the mayor wanted to know if we’re going to make a habit of dropping any more people on them.”
“Shoulda asked if Bowie could bring us any more wool when he comes back. Louie brought back some very nice socks and mutton.”
”’You killed it, you buy it’. It wasn’t like I was INTENDING to hit those sheep.”
“You said so yourself, Louie. Bad brakes.”

[SRoss]

(Unfortunately for Minmei, the grenade bounces off a wall and rolls into another room)

Minmei: "Dammit, I missed again! It shouldn't be too hard to throw these things!"
Master #1:
Master #2: "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!"
Master #3: "So that's where Zor gets his combat; ahem, skills!"
Minmei: "Laugh at me, will you? (Pulls out a giant mini-gun) No way I should miss with this thing!"
Masters:

Meanwhile, in the Drive Room...

Science Master: "Hey! Where'd this grenade come from?"

#BOOOOOMMMM!#

[taalismn]

Clone Master 1: "There's a reason we gave Zor Prime the RED Bioroid."
Clone Master 2: "Even on Tirol we have 'Redshirt Syndrome'."
Clone Master 3: "We were REALLY hoping the micronians would shoot him down, but they couldn't even get THAT trope straight!"

[SRoss]

Edwards: "We should be safe from Minmei in this mountain top bunker."

Kyle points at the Mothership falling toward them.

Edwards: "How does she keep finding us!?!"

[taalismn]

"So Zor's supposed to arrive tomorrow from Cuba?"
"Yep. Help me with the sand bag emplacement around my quarters."
"Think it will help?"
"Zor's got his firearms qualification. He could be potentially armed AT ALL TIMES."
"I'm putting concrete in mine."
"Pardon?"
"The sandbags that will go around my room will be filled with concrete, Sand's good, reinforced concrete might be better."
"Good news, Angelo, Louie! We've got immediate transfer orders! We're heading for SWITZERLAND!"
"Switzerland? Sean, what's in Switzerland?"
"Robotech Masters mothership just dropped out of orbit, sliced the tops off several mountains, and landed in Lake Geneva. Because we have more experience with Motherships than anybody else, guess who got tapped for any possible combat ops?"
"When do we leave?"
"Tonight."
"I never thought I'd feel safer going at the enemy than staying home awaiting the return of a team member."

[Alpha 11]

Aboard The Master's flagship...

Master #1: "By the Protoculture, this is most amusing!"
Master #2: "Indeed, I haven't laughed this hard when Lord Breetai told us what happened to the original Zor!"
Master #3: "Zor Prime's doing more damage then our attacks ever could!"
Science Master: "Shall we have Zor recalled and debriefed?"
Master #1: "Are you daft? You want HIM back here?!"
Master #2: "There was a reason we sent him down there in the first place!"
Master #3: "You would deprive us of our entertainment?"
Science Master: "No; of course not, sorry MiLords...will never be mentioned again!" (Runs put of the room)
Master #1: "Children...they'll never learn."

Aboard The Master's flagship...

Master #1: "By the Protoculture, this is most amusing!"
Master #2: "Indeed, I haven't laughed this hard when Lord Breetai told us what happened to the original Zor!"
Master #3: "Zor Prime's doing more damage then our attacks ever could!"
Science Master: "Shall we have Zor recalled and debriefed?"
Master #1: "Are you daft? You want HIM back here?!"
Master #2: "There was a reason we sent him down there in the first place!"
Master #3: "You would deprive us of our entertainment?"
Science Master: "No; of course not, sorry MiLords...will never be mentioned again!" (Runs put of the room)
Master #1: "Children...they'll never learn."

Their enjoyment is suddenly interrupted by a voice from the open door.

"Laugh at MY son will you!"

Master #1: "WHO DARES DISTURB US!?!"

Minmei: (Tossing a Cobalt Grenade into the room) "See you in hell boys."

(Unfortunately for Minmei, the grenade bounces off a wall and rolls into another room)

Minmei: "Dammit, I missed again! It shouldn't be too hard to throw these things!"
Master #1:
Master #2: "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!"
Master #3: "So that's where Zor gets his combat; ahem, skills!"
Minmei: "Laugh at me, will you? (Pulls out a giant mini-gun) No way I should miss with this thing!"
Masters:

“So, el-tee, what are the hospital stays going to be THIS time? I imagine Bowie and Zor are going to be laid up big time, what with area of effect.”
“It’s more like travel time, Sean. They found Zor in Cuba and they have to send him back here on a regular transport.”
“Can we refuse extradition?”
“No! And as for Bowie...they haven’t found him yet. They’re widenning the search area, though.”
“You know, this reminds me of the time Louie tried to boost the speed of his ‘tank by bolting on that SLMH thruster from a Logan, and he ended up in Christchurch, New Zealand!”
“...if only I had remembered you have to have equal and opposite thrust to brake with a hovervehicle....”
-zeeeg-zeeeg-
“I got it!”
“We’re just going to have take Zor back.”
“Can they at least quarantine him for awhile? He might have picked up some nasty tropical disease in Cuba. That would give us time to order better body armor!”
“Comm’s for you, Dana.”
“Hello, Lieutenant Sterling here, to whom am I speaking? I am? You are. Yes...we are...You did? Is...? Okay, that’s good. No, we don’t! I assure you, we don’t! Will you...? Thank you! Yes, we’ll try try not to in the future. Thank you! Thank you!”
-click-
“Who was that, Dana?”
“Mayor of Christchurch, New Zealand. Wanted to know why we were bombing his city with our people. Seems they found Bowie hanging by his undershorts from a tree in front of their town hall. They’re sending him back soonest, but the mayor wanted to know if we’re going to make a habit of dropping any more people on them.”
“Shoulda asked if Bowie could bring us any more wool when he comes back. Louie brought back some very nice socks and mutton.”
”’You killed it, you buy it’. It wasn’t like I was INTENDING to hit those sheep.”
“You said so yourself, Louie. Bad brakes.”

(Unfortunately for Minmei, the grenade bounces off a wall and rolls into another room)

Minmei: "Dammit, I missed again! It shouldn't be too hard to throw these things!"
Master #1:
Master #2: "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!"
Master #3: "So that's where Zor gets his combat; ahem, skills!"
Minmei: "Laugh at me, will you? (Pulls out a giant mini-gun) No way I should miss with this thing!"
Masters:

Meanwhile, in the Drive Room...

Science Master: "Hey! Where'd this grenade come from?"

#BOOOOOMMMM!#

Clone Master 1: "There's a reason we gave Zor Prime the RED Bioroid."
Clone Master 2: "Even on Tirol we have 'Redshirt Syndrome'."
Clone Master 3: "We were REALLY hoping the micronians would shoot him down, but they couldn't even get THAT trope straight!"

Edwards: "We should be safe from Minmei in this mountain top bunker."

Kyle points at the Mothership falling toward them.

Edwards: "How does she keep finding us!?!"

"So Zor's supposed to arrive tomorrow from Cuba?"
"Yep. Help me with the sand bag emplacement around my quarters."
"Think it will help?"
"Zor's got his firearms qualification. He could be potentially armed AT ALL TIMES."
"I'm putting concrete in mine."
"Pardon?"
"The sandbags that will go around my room will be filled with concrete, Sand's good, reinforced concrete might be better."
"Good news, Angelo, Louie! We've got immediate transfer orders! We're heading for SWITZERLAND!"
"Switzerland? Sean, what's in Switzerland?"
"Robotech Masters mothership just dropped out of orbit, sliced the tops off several mountains, and landed in Lake Geneva. Because we have more experience with Motherships than anybody else, guess who got tapped for any possible combat ops?"
"When do we leave?"
"Tonight."
"I never thought I'd feel safer going at the enemy than staying home awaiting the return of a team member."

[glitterboy2098]

Sean: That Zor is a menace, he shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a weapon!
Louie: Sean, the first 2 months of training you spent thinking that you held live grenades over you head as they shot arrows at the enemy
Sean: That diagram could have been a lot more specific.

[Arnie100]

Gen. Emerson: "Dana, now that Zor's finally done with weapons qualification, I feel you can finally introduce him to the Hovertank -- Dana? Where'd you go?"
Dana: "Quick, everyone, into the shuttle! We can make it!"
Bowie: "He sees us!"
Gen. Emerson: "I just need a volunteer! Come on!"

(Suddenly Sean finds himself on the ground at the General's feet)

Gen. Emerson: "Thank you, Phillips! Let's go!"
Sean: "NO!!! It's not FAIR!"

[taalismn]

"We claim asylum from the war!"
"Why?"
"This is 'Switzerland', correct? Is it not traditionally neutral among Earth nations in times of war?"
"Yes. But see that crater over there?"
"Yes. What of it?"
"That was Geneva, before YOUR Zentraedi arrived. We're kinda over neutrality these days. Stick'em up!"

[Arnie100]

"That's among 'Earth' nations! You're at war with an alien race! So petition for asylum...DENIED! Get back into that shuttle!"
"You - you don't understand...the things they're making us do..."
"Show them the videos!"
"That - that's HORRIBLE! Who is that guy?!"
"His name's Zor and we think he's coming HERE!"

[SRoss]

"That's among 'Earth' nations! You're at war with an alien race! So petition for asylum...DENIED! Get back into that shuttle!"
"You - you don't understand...the things they're making us do..."
"Show them the videos!"
"That - that's HORRIBLE! Who is that guy?!"
"His name's Zor and we think he's coming HERE!"

Zor steps out of his transport and is buried in an avalanche of molten chocolate.

[taalismn]

"The bad news is, Dana, Zor was transferred to Switzerland ahead of us."
"Oh jeez.....not that I don't miss my problematic romantic crush, but that kinda puts a crimp in my 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' plan. Wait, isn't it usually 'good news-bad news'? And you only told me bad news. What's the GOOD news?"
"They served Zor an in-flight meal...with silverware."
"You mean...?"
"They're holding Zor for a psych-eval while they surgically remove the forks from the stewards and stewardesses."
"...ouch...."
"Cabin depressurized over France, too. Apparently he tried to cut a baked potato with one of those plastic knives..."

[taalismn]

Sean: That Zor is a menace, he shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a weapon!
Louie: Sean, the first 2 months of training you spent thinking that you held live grenades over you head as they shot arrows at the enemy
Sean: That diagram could have been a lot more specific.

"FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD, PHILLIPS! YOU GONNA -THROW- THAT GRENADE , OR MAKE LOVE TO IT???!!!!"

[Alpha 11]

Sean: That Zor is a menace, he shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a weapon!
Louie: Sean, the first 2 months of training you spent thinking that you held live grenades over you head as they shot arrows at the enemy
Sean: That diagram could have been a lot more specific.

Gen. Emerson: "Dana, now that Zor's finally done with weapons qualification, I feel you can finally introduce him to the Hovertank -- Dana? Where'd you go?"
Dana: "Quick, everyone, into the shuttle! We can make it!"
Bowie: "He sees us!"
Gen. Emerson: "I just need a volunteer! Come on!"

(Suddenly Sean finds himself on the ground at the General's feet)

Gen. Emerson: "Thank you, Phillips! Let's go!"
Sean: "NO!!! It's not FAIR!"

"We claim asylum from the war!"
"Why?"
"This is 'Switzerland', correct? Is it not traditionally neutral among Earth nations in times of war?"
"Yes. But see that crater over there?"
"Yes. What of it?"
"That was Geneva, before YOUR Zentraedi arrived. We're kinda over neutrality these days. Stick'em up!"

"That's among 'Earth' nations! You're at war with an alien race! So petition for asylum...DENIED! Get back into that shuttle!"
"You - you don't understand...the things they're making us do..."
"Show them the videos!"
"That - that's HORRIBLE! Who is that guy?!"
"His name's Zor and we think he's coming HERE!"

"That's among 'Earth' nations! You're at war with an alien race! So petition for asylum...DENIED! Get back into that shuttle!"
"You - you don't understand...the things they're making us do..."
"Show them the videos!"
"That - that's HORRIBLE! Who is that guy?!"
"His name's Zor and we think he's coming HERE!"

Zor steps out of his transport and is buried in an avalanche of molten chocolate.

"The bad news is, Dana, Zor was transferred to Switzerland ahead of us."
"Oh jeez.....not that I don't miss my problematic romantic crush, but that kinda puts a crimp in my 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' plan. Wait, isn't it usually 'good news-bad news'? And you only told me bad news. What's the GOOD news?"
"They served Zor an in-flight meal...with silverware."
"You mean...?"
"They're holding Zor for a psych-eval while they surgically remove the forks from the stewards and stewardesses."
"...ouch...."
"Cabin depressurized over France, too. Apparently he tried to cut a baked potato with one of those plastic knives..."

Sean: That Zor is a menace, he shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a weapon!
Louie: Sean, the first 2 months of training you spent thinking that you held live grenades over you head as they shot arrows at the enemy
Sean: That diagram could have been a lot more specific.

"FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD, PHILLIPS! YOU GONNA -THROW- THAT GRENADE , OR MAKE LOVE TO IT???!!!!"

[taalismn]

<<<knock-knock>>>
“Hello? I know you’re listening. We have to talk!”
Uhmmm...Minmei, why are you talking across the Fourth Wall?
“I’m borrowing Rand’s ability. “
Wouldn’t he object to you ‘borrowing his ability’?
“I didn’t give him a choice.”
(sobbing in background)
(“Rand, hold pressure on that! It won’t bleed out as much!”)
Right. That answers that. Okay, what’s so important-
“I really object to your latest implication that my son is bad with knives. Guns maybe, but handling SHARP instruments is a Lynn SPECIALTY.”
Then why isn’t Kyle a master swordsman?
“Because Kyle’s the black sheep of the family. You get one in every family. You try making him out to be adopted and therefore free to pursue me and I will show you just how EXPERT I really am with Lynn blades.”
..ah, right.
“Now, about Zor. If there’s anything he SHOULD be expert at, it’s knives. Maybe not Zorro quality, but he can cut his own food. Implying anything less is an insult I will take PERSONALLY.”
Have you considered maybe that that particular trait might not manifest on account of who his father is?
“About that, we are NOT going with the McKinney circle-jerk! That’s just too creepy! Lose it! Or I DEAL with you! Snick-snick! UNDERSTAND?!”
Right. No time-travelling Zor becoming his own ancestor. No way. Uh-uh.
“Good.”
(Rem: “WHOO-HOOOHHH!!! I’M NOT A HILLBILLY!!! SWWWWEEEEETTTTT!!”)
“And one more thing. If and when you ever decide to reveal who Zor’s REAL father is, you make him GOOD. Understand? No drunken one night stands, no sordid innuendos. I want a GOOD MAN! Otherwise-”
Right. Snick-snick. Got it.
“Good. You CAN learn. Don’t forget it, don’t make it necessary for me to have this conversation again. Rand won’t like it any more than you do if I have to ‘borrow’ his ability again.”
(renewed sobbing in background)

[Alpha 11]

<<<knock-knock>>>
“Hello? I know you’re listening. We have to talk!”
Uhmmm...Minmei, why are you talking across the Fourth Wall?
“I’m borrowing Rand’s ability. “
Wouldn’t he object to you ‘borrowing his ability’?
“I didn’t give him a choice.”
(sobbing in background)
(“Rand, hold pressure on that! It won’t bleed out as much!”)
Right. That answers that. Okay, what’s so important-
“I really object to your latest implication that my son is bad with knives. Guns maybe, but handling SHARP instruments is a Lynn SPECIALTY.”
Then why isn’t Kyle a master swordsman?
“Because Kyle’s the black sheep of the family. You get one in every family. You try making him out to be adopted and therefore free to pursue me and I will show you just how EXPERT I really am with Lynn blades.”
..ah, right.
“Now, about Zor. If there’s anything he SHOULD be expert at, it’s knives. Maybe not Zorro quality, but he can cut his own food. Implying anything less is an insult I will take PERSONALLY.”
Have you considered maybe that that particular trait might not manifest on account of who his father is?
“About that, we are NOT going with the McKinney circle-jerk! That’s just too creepy! Lose it! Or I DEAL with you! Snick-snick! UNDERSTAND?!”
Right. No time-travelling Zor becoming his own ancestor. No way. Uh-uh.
“Good.”
(Rem: “WHOO-HOOOHHH!!! I’M NOT A HILLBILLY!!! SWWWWEEEEETTTTT!!”)
“And one more thing. If and when you ever decide to reveal who Zor’s REAL father is, you make him GOOD. Understand? No drunken one night stands, no sordid innuendos. I want a GOOD MAN! Otherwise-”
Right. Snick-snick. Got it.
“Good. You CAN learn. Don’t forget it, don’t make it necessary for me to have this conversation again. Rand won’t like it any more than you do if I have to ‘borrow’ his ability again.”
(renewed sobbing in background)

[Arnie100]

<<<knock-knock>>>
“Hello? I know you’re listening. We have to talk!”
Uhmmm...Minmei, why are you talking across the Fourth Wall?
“I’m borrowing Rand’s ability. “
Wouldn’t he object to you ‘borrowing his ability’?
“I didn’t give him a choice.”
(sobbing in background)
(“Rand, hold pressure on that! It won’t bleed out as much!”)
Right. That answers that. Okay, what’s so important-
“I really object to your latest implication that my son is bad with knives. Guns maybe, but handling SHARP instruments is a Lynn SPECIALTY.”
Then why isn’t Kyle a master swordsman?
“Because Kyle’s the black sheep of the family. You get one in every family. You try making him out to be adopted and therefore free to pursue me and I will show you just how EXPERT I really am with Lynn blades.”
..ah, right.
“Now, about Zor. If there’s anything he SHOULD be expert at, it’s knives. Maybe not Zorro quality, but he can cut his own food. Implying anything less is an insult I will take PERSONALLY.”
Have you considered maybe that that particular trait might not manifest on account of who his father is?
“About that, we are NOT going with the McKinney circle-jerk! That’s just too creepy! Lose it! Or I DEAL with you! Snick-snick! UNDERSTAND?!”
Right. No time-travelling Zor becoming his own ancestor. No way. Uh-uh.
“Good.”
(Rem: “WHOO-HOOOHHH!!! I’M NOT A HILLBILLY!!! SWWWWEEEEETTTTT!!”)
“And one more thing. If and when you ever decide to reveal who Zor’s REAL father is, you make him GOOD. Understand? No drunken one night stands, no sordid innuendos. I want a GOOD MAN! Otherwise-”
Right. Snick-snick. Got it.
“Good. You CAN learn. Don’t forget it, don’t make it necessary for me to have this conversation again. Rand won’t like it any more than you do if I have to ‘borrow’ his ability again.”
(renewed sobbing in background)

"Is Minmei talking to herself, again?"
"Betcha I know who the father is!"
"I'm not sure -- "
"It's Edwards! Gotta be!"
"Whew...I thought you were gonna say Ky --"
"That's so wrong...but it would explain a lot of things...like why Zor's no good with guns and militarily incompetent."

[SRoss]

<<<knock-knock>>>
“Hello? I know you’re listening. We have to talk!”
Uhmmm...Minmei, why are you talking across the Fourth Wall?
“I’m borrowing Rand’s ability. “
Wouldn’t he object to you ‘borrowing his ability’?
“I didn’t give him a choice.”
(sobbing in background)
(“Rand, hold pressure on that! It won’t bleed out as much!”)
Right. That answers that. Okay, what’s so important-
“I really object to your latest implication that my son is bad with knives. Guns maybe, but handling SHARP instruments is a Lynn SPECIALTY.”
Then why isn’t Kyle a master swordsman?
“Because Kyle’s the black sheep of the family. You get one in every family. You try making him out to be adopted and therefore free to pursue me and I will show you just how EXPERT I really am with Lynn blades.”
..ah, right.
“Now, about Zor. If there’s anything he SHOULD be expert at, it’s knives. Maybe not Zorro quality, but he can cut his own food. Implying anything less is an insult I will take PERSONALLY.”
Have you considered maybe that that particular trait might not manifest on account of who his father is?
“About that, we are NOT going with the McKinney circle-jerk! That’s just too creepy! Lose it! Or I DEAL with you! Snick-snick! UNDERSTAND?!”
Right. No time-travelling Zor becoming his own ancestor. No way. Uh-uh.
“Good.”
(Rem: “WHOO-HOOOHHH!!! I’M NOT A HILLBILLY!!! SWWWWEEEEETTTTT!!”)
“And one more thing. If and when you ever decide to reveal who Zor’s REAL father is, you make him GOOD. Understand? No drunken one night stands, no sordid innuendos. I want a GOOD MAN! Otherwise-”
Right. Snick-snick. Got it.
“Good. You CAN learn. Don’t forget it, don’t make it necessary for me to have this conversation again. Rand won’t like it any more than you do if I have to ‘borrow’ his ability again.”
(renewed sobbing in background)

"Is Minmei talking to herself, again?"
"Betcha I know who the father is!"
"I'm not sure -- "
"It's Edwards! Gotta be!"
"Whew...I thought you were gonna say Ky --"
"That's so wrong...but it would explain a lot of things...like why Zor's no good with guns and militarily incompetent."

WWWWHHHHHIIIIIIZZZZZZ.... #THUNK!#

"Wow! She buried it right between his eyes, at that range!?!"

"And that was just a potato peeler too!!!"

Minmei:

[Arnie100]

"So...how come she didn't do this in the show? She could've been useful!"
"I wouldn't -- INCOMING!!"
"Wha -- MMMMMPPPHHHmommy!"
"Holy Snap...right in the -- !"
(Minmei twirling a knife like she was Clint Eastwood)

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=E0-DlkLfEiM

[taalismn]

"Rand, don't move...it strains the stitches. How's Lancer holding up, Sera?"
"Still in shellshock, Seeing his idol do THAT. I WAS going to complain about Rand having a second schtick when I was still grasping for one, but seeing him like this....I'm rather glad I didn't ask for his schtick."
"Rand's rather proud of his big schtick...having somebody take it away from him like this, even temporarily...he's in serious schtick-er shock."
"We Invid have a notoriously low tolerance for puns. On behalf of Rand, who is currently in agony, I WILL shoot you, Rook, if you ever make another pun like that."

[Alpha 11]

<<<knock-knock>>>
“Hello? I know you’re listening. We have to talk!”
Uhmmm...Minmei, why are you talking across the Fourth Wall?
“I’m borrowing Rand’s ability. “
Wouldn’t he object to you ‘borrowing his ability’?
“I didn’t give him a choice.”
(sobbing in background)
(“Rand, hold pressure on that! It won’t bleed out as much!”)
Right. That answers that. Okay, what’s so important-
“I really object to your latest implication that my son is bad with knives. Guns maybe, but handling SHARP instruments is a Lynn SPECIALTY.”
Then why isn’t Kyle a master swordsman?
“Because Kyle’s the black sheep of the family. You get one in every family. You try making him out to be adopted and therefore free to pursue me and I will show you just how EXPERT I really am with Lynn blades.”
..ah, right.
“Now, about Zor. If there’s anything he SHOULD be expert at, it’s knives. Maybe not Zorro quality, but he can cut his own food. Implying anything less is an insult I will take PERSONALLY.”
Have you considered maybe that that particular trait might not manifest on account of who his father is?
“About that, we are NOT going with the McKinney circle-jerk! That’s just too creepy! Lose it! Or I DEAL with you! Snick-snick! UNDERSTAND?!”
Right. No time-travelling Zor becoming his own ancestor. No way. Uh-uh.
“Good.”
(Rem: “WHOO-HOOOHHH!!! I’M NOT A HILLBILLY!!! SWWWWEEEEETTTTT!!”)
“And one more thing. If and when you ever decide to reveal who Zor’s REAL father is, you make him GOOD. Understand? No drunken one night stands, no sordid innuendos. I want a GOOD MAN! Otherwise-”
Right. Snick-snick. Got it.
“Good. You CAN learn. Don’t forget it, don’t make it necessary for me to have this conversation again. Rand won’t like it any more than you do if I have to ‘borrow’ his ability again.”
(renewed sobbing in background)

"Is Minmei talking to herself, again?"
"Betcha I know who the father is!"
"I'm not sure -- "
"It's Edwards! Gotta be!"
"Whew...I thought you were gonna say Ky --"
"That's so wrong...but it would explain a lot of things...like why Zor's no good with guns and militarily incompetent."

<<<knock-knock>>>
“Hello? I know you’re listening. We have to talk!”
Uhmmm...Minmei, why are you talking across the Fourth Wall?
“I’m borrowing Rand’s ability. “
Wouldn’t he object to you ‘borrowing his ability’?
“I didn’t give him a choice.”
(sobbing in background)
(“Rand, hold pressure on that! It won’t bleed out as much!”)
Right. That answers that. Okay, what’s so important-
“I really object to your latest implication that my son is bad with knives. Guns maybe, but handling SHARP instruments is a Lynn SPECIALTY.”
Then why isn’t Kyle a master swordsman?
“Because Kyle’s the black sheep of the family. You get one in every family. You try making him out to be adopted and therefore free to pursue me and I will show you just how EXPERT I really am with Lynn blades.”
..ah, right.
“Now, about Zor. If there’s anything he SHOULD be expert at, it’s knives. Maybe not Zorro quality, but he can cut his own food. Implying anything less is an insult I will take PERSONALLY.”
Have you considered maybe that that particular trait might not manifest on account of who his father is?
“About that, we are NOT going with the McKinney circle-jerk! That’s just too creepy! Lose it! Or I DEAL with you! Snick-snick! UNDERSTAND?!”
Right. No time-travelling Zor becoming his own ancestor. No way. Uh-uh.
“Good.”
(Rem: “WHOO-HOOOHHH!!! I’M NOT A HILLBILLY!!! SWWWWEEEEETTTTT!!”)
“And one more thing. If and when you ever decide to reveal who Zor’s REAL father is, you make him GOOD. Understand? No drunken one night stands, no sordid innuendos. I want a GOOD MAN! Otherwise-”
Right. Snick-snick. Got it.
“Good. You CAN learn. Don’t forget it, don’t make it necessary for me to have this conversation again. Rand won’t like it any more than you do if I have to ‘borrow’ his ability again.”
(renewed sobbing in background)

"Is Minmei talking to herself, again?"
"Betcha I know who the father is!"
"I'm not sure -- "
"It's Edwards! Gotta be!"
"Whew...I thought you were gonna say Ky --"
"That's so wrong...but it would explain a lot of things...like why Zor's no good with guns and militarily incompetent."

WWWWHHHHHIIIIIIZZZZZZ.... #THUNK!#

"Wow! She buried it right between his eyes, at that range!?!"

"And that was just a potato peeler too!!!"

Minmei:

"So...how come she didn't do this in the show? She could've been useful!"
"I wouldn't -- INCOMING!!"
"Wha -- MMMMMPPPHHHmommy!"
"Holy Snap...right in the -- !"
(Minmei twirling a knife like she was Clint Eastwood)

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=E0-DlkLfEiM

"Rand, don't move...it strains the stitches. How's Lancer holding up, Sera?"
"Still in shellshock, Seeing his idol do THAT. I WAS going to complain about Rand having a second schtick when I was still grasping for one, but seeing him like this....I'm rather glad I didn't ask for his schtick."
"Rand's rather proud of his big schtick...having somebody take it away from him like this, even temporarily...he's in serious schtick-er shock."
"We Invid have a notoriously low tolerance for puns. On behalf of Rand, who is currently in agony, I WILL shoot you, Rook, if you ever make another pun like that."

[taalismn]

"So it really wasn't incompetence with his silverware, but Zor was fending off a hijacking attempt by anti-UEG terrorists who'd infiltrated the transport disguised as air stewards?"
"Apparently so. The GMP is releasing him because of his 'heroism'."
"Okay, Plan B, then...."


"Now, Zor, you're only to use these weapons with the red markings on the ends. ONLY the red ones, understand?"
"I understand, but why?"
"It's a safety thing, Zor, we're all a little safer if you only use these ones."
"A safety thing? That's the little wiggley bit, isn't it?"

[SRoss]

Lunk: "Hey guys have you seen my new chainsaw?"

Minmei: "Now THIS has potential."

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