Robotech Blooper Reels

[Arnie100]

Arnie100: "Ahem, Minmei is THE most talented, skilled and beautiful women in the Robotech universe with the voice of an angel!"
Minmei: "That's better. Now...what about my son?"
Arnie100: "Can't we talk about something else, PLEASE?"

[SRoss]

Arnie100: "Ahem, Minmei is THE most talented, skilled and beautiful women in the Robotech universe with the voice of an angel!"
Minmei: "That's better. Now...what about my son?"
Arnie100: "Can't we talk about something else, PLEASE?"

SRoss: "Well he's clearly MUCH smarter then Nova."

#BLAM!#

Nova: "What was that?"

SRoss: (Applying pressure to his gunshot wound) "Wow, she got out of the hospital sooner then expected."

[taalismn]

"Zor!"
"Dana!"
"Zor?"(sniff-sniff)
"Dana, what's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong, Zor...just, why do you smell like a Hershey Bar?"

[Arnie100]

Arnie100: "Oh, Nova's definetely better with guns then Zor ever wi -- "
Minmei: (Staring at Arnie, twirling a knife)
Arnie100: "Uhm, so when's your next CD coming out?"
Minmei: "I want to hear about my son..."

[Arnie100]

"Zor!"
"Dana!"
"Zor?"(sniff-sniff)
"Dana, what's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong, Zor...just, why do you smell like a Hershey Bar?"

Zor: "Someone dumped chocolate over me! I like chocolate like everyone else, but really? BTW, I never did get to finish hovertank training..."
Dana: "Ah; well...they're down for repairs!"
Zor: "Oh, I wonder if they'll let me fly Logans?"
Dana: "Great idea! There's Marie, she'll help you!"
Marie: "Ohnononono!" (Turns and runs)
Zor and Dana:

[Alpha 11]

"So it really wasn't incompetence with his silverware, but Zor was fending off a hijacking attempt by anti-UEG terrorists who'd infiltrated the transport disguised as air stewards?"
"Apparently so. The GMP is releasing him because of his 'heroism'."
"Okay, Plan B, then...."


"Now, Zor, you're only to use these weapons with the red markings on the ends. ONLY the red ones, understand?"
"I understand, but why?"
"It's a safety thing, Zor, we're all a little safer if you only use these ones."
"A safety thing? That's the little wiggley bit, isn't it?"

So, only giving him airsoft guns? They still might not be safe.

Lunk: "Hey guys have you seen my new chainsaw?"

Minmei: "Now THIS has potential."

Forum Members:

Arnie100: "Ahem, Minmei is THE most talented, skilled and beautiful women in the Robotech universe with the voice of an angel!"
Minmei: "That's better. Now...what about my son?"
Arnie100: "Can't we talk about something else, PLEASE?"

Well, at least she won't be coming after me. I always liked her singing.

Arnie100: "Ahem, Minmei is THE most talented, skilled and beautiful women in the Robotech universe with the voice of an angel!"
Minmei: "That's better. Now...what about my son?"
Arnie100: "Can't we talk about something else, PLEASE?"

SRoss: "Well he's clearly MUCH smarter then Nova."

#BLAM!#

Nova: "What was that?"

SRoss: (Applying pressure to his gunshot wound) "Wow, she got out of the hospital sooner then expected."

"Zor!"
"Dana!"
"Zor?"(sniff-sniff)
"Dana, what's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong, Zor...just, why do you smell like a Hershey Bar?"

Arnie100: "Oh, Nova's definetely better with guns then Zor ever wi -- "
Minmei: (Staring at Arnie, twirling a knife)
Arnie100: "Uhm, so when's your next CD coming out?"
Minmei: "I want to hear about my son..."

"Zor!"
"Dana!"
"Zor?"(sniff-sniff)
"Dana, what's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong, Zor...just, why do you smell like a Hershey Bar?"

Zor: "Someone dumped chocolate over me! I like chocolate like everyone else, but really? BTW, I never did get to finish hovertank training..."
Dana: "Ah; well...they're down for repairs!"
Zor: "Oh, I wonder if they'll let me fly Logans?"
Dana: "Great idea! There's Marie, she'll help you!"
Marie: "Ohnononono!" (Turns and runs)
Zor and Dana:

[taalismn]

(Flashback back to the GMP Hospital back in Monument City)
Nova: "No, absolutely no!"
Doctor: "But it's the perfect opportunity! Nobody would ever suspect you've got it!"
Nova: "I just had my breast reconstructed after Zor almost shot it off! I am NOT having a concealed gun implanted in it!"
Doctor: "It wouldn't alter your appearance at all! And it would provide you with a holdout weapon that nobody could see! What's wrong with that?"
Nova: (imagining:
#BLAM#
-Thud-
"Care to explain to me how Captain Komodo wound up shot in the face?"
"...uh....")
"No. Not doing it."

[Arnie100]

Nova: "I am not a FEM-BOT!!"

[SRoss]

Kathy Simmons: "Hey Keven! Weirdest thing, I keep getting calls asking if we supply body armour."

[taalismn]

(Meanwhile, over in the GMP Barracks)
Komodo: (asleep, and in the throes of nightmare) "....ew...squeezably soft.....don't squeeze the charmin!..."

[Alpha 11]

(Flashback back to the GMP Hospital back in Monument City)
Nova: "No, absolutely no!"
Doctor: "But it's the perfect opportunity! Nobody would ever suspect you've got it!"
Nova: "I just had my breast reconstructed after Zor almost shot it off! I am NOT having a concealed gun implanted in it!"
Doctor: "It wouldn't alter your appearance at all! And it would provide you with a holdout weapon that nobody could see! What's wrong with that?"
Nova: (imagining:
#BLAM#
-Thud-
"Care to explain to me how Captain Komodo wound up shot in the face?"
"...uh....")
"No. Not doing it."

Nova: "I am not a FEM-BOT!!"

Kathy Simmons: "Hey Keven! Weirdest thing, I keep getting calls asking if we supply body armour."

(Meanwhile, over in the GMP Barracks)
Komodo: (asleep, and in the throes of nightmare) "....ew...squeezably soft.....don't squeeze the charmin!..."

[taalismn]

“Our penetration of the grounded Masters’ ship is proceeding well.”
“Yes, almost too well. This is turning into a cakewalk.”
“We may have them on the run here, I’m optimistically saying.”
“For once, I agree, Louie, we may have pulled off a tactical coup here.”
“As it is going so well, Dana, I wish to request spare ammunition clips for my personal firearms. Mine appear to be defective.”
“Uh-oh, I’m tapped out.”
“None to spare, old Zor.”
“Same here.”
“In fact, the trigger unit of my gun appears to be defective. Can anybody spare me a sidearm?”
“Sorry, don’t have one to spare.”
“I’m using all mine.”
“Ditto.”
“Ditto”
“In fact, my guns appear to be all made of one solid block of plastic.”
“Sorry to hear it.”
“Supply mess-ups sometimes happen.”
“Luck of the draw.”
“Fog of war.”
“So I armed myself with weapons I confiscated from those centurions we fought in the last compartment.”
“We’re #####ed.”
“Well and truly.”
“Ditto”
“RETREAT!!! RETREAT!!!!”

[Arnie100]

“Our penetration of the grounded Masters’ ship is proceeding well.”
“Yes, almost too well. This is turning into a cakewalk.”
“We may have them on the run here, I’m optimistically saying.”
“For once, I agree, Louie, we may have pulled off a tactical coup here.”
“As it is going so well, Dana, I wish to request spare ammunition clips for my personal firearms. Mine appear to be defective.”
“Uh-oh, I’m tapped out.”
“None to spare, old Zor.”
“Same here.”
“In fact, the trigger unit of my gun appears to be defective. Can anybody spare me a sidearm?”
“Sorry, don’t have one to spare.”
“I’m using all mine.”
“Ditto.”
“Ditto”
“In fact, my guns appear to be all made of one solid block of plastic.”
“Sorry to hear it.”
“Supply mess-ups sometimes happen.”
“Luck of the draw.”
“Fog of war.”
“So I armed myself with weapons I confiscated from those centurions we fought in the last compartment.”
“We’re #####ed.”
“Well and truly.”
“Ditto”
“RETREAT!!! RETREAT!!!!”

Gen. Emerson: "Why are you pulling out?"
Dana: "It's Zor!"
Gen. Emerson: "What about him? He's part of your squad, isn't he?"
Dana: "HE'S ARMED!!!"
Zor: "Guys!!, Why are you running?!"

[Alpha 11]

“Our penetration of the grounded Masters’ ship is proceeding well.”
“Yes, almost too well. This is turning into a cakewalk.”
“We may have them on the run here, I’m optimistically saying.”
“For once, I agree, Louie, we may have pulled off a tactical coup here.”
“As it is going so well, Dana, I wish to request spare ammunition clips for my personal firearms. Mine appear to be defective.”
“Uh-oh, I’m tapped out.”
“None to spare, old Zor.”
“Same here.”
“In fact, the trigger unit of my gun appears to be defective. Can anybody spare me a sidearm?”
“Sorry, don’t have one to spare.”
“I’m using all mine.”
“Ditto.”
“Ditto”
“In fact, my guns appear to be all made of one solid block of plastic.”
“Sorry to hear it.”
“Supply mess-ups sometimes happen.”
“Luck of the draw.”
“Fog of war.”
“So I armed myself with weapons I confiscated from those centurions we fought in the last compartment.”
“We’re #####ed.”
“Well and truly.”
“Ditto”
“RETREAT!!! RETREAT!!!!”

They should just put him in front, and follow, like 1 or 2 hundred yard, if not more, behind.

“Our penetration of the grounded Masters’ ship is proceeding well.”
“Yes, almost too well. This is turning into a cakewalk.”
“We may have them on the run here, I’m optimistically saying.”
“For once, I agree, Louie, we may have pulled off a tactical coup here.”
“As it is going so well, Dana, I wish to request spare ammunition clips for my personal firearms. Mine appear to be defective.”
“Uh-oh, I’m tapped out.”
“None to spare, old Zor.”
“Same here.”
“In fact, the trigger unit of my gun appears to be defective. Can anybody spare me a sidearm?”
“Sorry, don’t have one to spare.”
“I’m using all mine.”
“Ditto.”
“Ditto”
“In fact, my guns appear to be all made of one solid block of plastic.”
“Sorry to hear it.”
“Supply mess-ups sometimes happen.”
“Luck of the draw.”
“Fog of war.”
“So I armed myself with weapons I confiscated from those centurions we fought in the last compartment.”
“We’re #####ed.”
“Well and truly.”
“Ditto”
“RETREAT!!! RETREAT!!!!”

Gen. Emerson: "Why are you pulling out?"
Dana: "It's Zor!"
Gen. Emerson: "What about him? He's part of your squad, isn't he?"
Dana: "HE'S ARMED!!!"
Zor: "Guys!!, Why are you running?!"

[taalismn]

“So, Dana Sterling! You are our prisoners! You and your men all wounded, helpless, and at our mercy! There is nothing you can do to prevent us from doing with you as we will! All according to plan!”
“That may be so, but you realize that in addition to that, you’ll have to accept Zor back into your ranks.”
“Uh?! Guards, release the pr-No...wait! We have contingency plans for that! We release Zor Prime back outside, but without any weapons! Your people will accept him as the sole survivor of your unit and he will be in a position to do even MORE damage to your forces! Hahahahaahaaahaahhah!!!”
“But Zor is armed now, isn’t he?”
“No he isn----guys, he isn’t armed, is he? You DID take away his weapons when we re-activated him, right?”
“...ah, Karno, we’re ...lemme check on that.”
“So if Zor is armed right now, and he’s on YOUR side, and he’s armed, it follows that YOU’RE the ones in trouble, doesn’t it?”
“Ah, but you expect him to rescue you, it can only do so if he returns to YOUR side, and he’d be useless without weapons, and if he arms himself, he’s more of a threat to YOU, his micronian allies! So you’re STILL screwed!!!”
“But Zor, as a soldier, will try to acquire firearms regardless of his allegiance, so YOU’RE screwed!”
“You try to mess with my head, Dana Sterling!!! But your insidious human perversity is no match for Tirolian cunning! WE win this ti-”
*CLICK*
“-I-. on the other hand, AM armed, and DO know how to use them. Don’t make any sudden moves, Karno, or you’ll have a new bodily orifiice.”
“-neeg-?!”
“Now, you’ll release the prisoners. Or Karno here gets it in the guts.”
“MUSICA?! How can you betray us?!”
“-one of the secret Evil Empresses of the Megaverse, remember? Now treat the 15th’s wounds and escort them out of the ship!”
“You cannot get away with this, Musica! You’re outnumbered! Your betrayal will not go unanswered! Your ploy to save these micronians is los-”
“AYOI GURKHALI!!!”
”What?!”
“It’s Nepalese for ‘You lose, you wanker’.”
“-gerk-!”
“Gee, where’d all you guys come from?”
“Nepal, originally. But you REALLY thought they wouldn’t send in a Mountain Offense Squad to a ship that crashed in the ALPS?! Why send tankers for a climbers’ job?”
“But I thought that was a Tibetan thing.”
“...we DO have mountains in Nepal, you know.”
“Right.”
“Anyways, this young lady let us in the back way.”
“Back way? I don’t know of any back way, and I’ve lived my entire life as a security guard on this ship!”
“Oh, there is one.”
(flashback: Shot of a big armored door plastered with bright warning signs: SUPER SECRET PASSAGEWAY: DO NOT OPEN! KEEP OUT! THIS MEANS YOU! TRESPASSING PUNISHABLE BY -DEATH-. BY ORDER OF THE ROBOTECH MASTERS! Musica walks up, opens it, and a line of armored Gurkhas files into the ship)
“Rats, foiled again!”

[Alpha 11]

“So, Dana Sterling! You are our prisoners! You and your men all wounded, helpless, and at our mercy! There is nothing you can do to prevent us from doing with you as we will! All according to plan!”
“That may be so, but you realize that in addition to that, you’ll have to accept Zor back into your ranks.”
“Uh?! Guards, release the pr-No...wait! We have contingency plans for that! We release Zor Prime back outside, but without any weapons! Your people will accept him as the sole survivor of your unit and he will be in a position to do even MORE damage to your forces! Hahahahaahaaahaahhah!!!”
“But Zor is armed now, isn’t he?”
“No he isn----guys, he isn’t armed, is he? You DID take away his weapons when we re-activated him, right?”
“...ah, Karno, we’re ...lemme check on that.”
“So if Zor is armed right now, and he’s on YOUR side, and he’s armed, it follows that YOU’RE the ones in trouble, doesn’t it?”
“Ah, but you expect him to rescue you, it can only do so if he returns to YOUR side, and he’d be useless without weapons, and if he arms himself, he’s more of a threat to YOU, his micronian allies! So you’re STILL screwed!!!”
“But Zor, as a soldier, will try to acquire firearms regardless of his allegiance, so YOU’RE screwed!”
“You try to mess with my head, Dana Sterling!!! But your insidious human perversity is no match for Tirolian cunning! WE win this ti-”
*CLICK*
“-I-. on the other hand, AM armed, and DO know how to use them. Don’t make any sudden moves, Karno, or you’ll have a new bodily orifiice.”
“-neeg-?!”
“Now, you’ll release the prisoners. Or Karno here gets it in the guts.”
“MUSICA?! How can you betray us?!”
“-one of the secret Evil Empresses of the Megaverse, remember? Now treat the 15th’s wounds and escort them out of the ship!”
“You cannot get away with this, Musica! You’re outnumbered! Your betrayal will not go unanswered! Your ploy to save these micronians is los-”
“AYOI GURKHALI!!!”
”What?!”
“It’s Nepalese for ‘You lose, you wanker’.”
“-gerk-!”
“Gee, where’d all you guys come from?”
“Nepal, originally. But you REALLY thought they wouldn’t send in a Mountain Offense Squad to a ship that crashed in the ALPS?! Why send tankers for a climbers’ job?”
“But I thought that was a Tibetan thing.”
“...we DO have mountains in Nepal, you know.”
“Right.”
“Anyways, this young lady let us in the back way.”
“Back way? I don’t know of any back way, and I’ve lived my entire life as a security guard on this ship!”
“Oh, there is one.”
(flashback: Shot of a big armored door plastered with bright warning signs: SUPER SECRET PASSAGEWAY: DO NOT OPEN! KEEP OUT! THIS MEANS YOU! TRESPASSING PUNISHABLE BY -DEATH-. BY ORDER OF THE ROBOTECH MASTERS! Musica walks up, opens it, and a line of armored Gurkhas files into the ship)
“Rats, foiled again!”

[SRoss]

Regis: "Note to self: When I invade the Earth, BLOODY WELL LEAVE NEPAL ALONE!!!"

[Arnie100]

(Back on The Masters' flagship)

Dana: "With all these Gurkhas running around, we should be able to find our way out without Zor spotting us!"
Zor: "Finally, I find you!"
Bowie: "NNNNNOOOOOOOO!! (Screaming like a girl)
Angelo: "Back inside! BACK INSIDE!"
Musica: "What idiot let Zor have guns?!"
(Everyone turns and looks at Sean)
Sean: "How was I supposed to know?!"

[taalismn]

Alternatively:

"Masters, the ship is crawling with micronian troops!"
"All forces, defend the ship! Defend us! Crush the enemy!"
"Does that mean me, too?"
"Yes, I said ALL forces! That means you as well, Zor Prime!"
"I hear and obey! I shall defend you with my life!" *CLICK*
"Wait, we meant with your Bioro-oh $#!+"

[Arnie100]

Or it could've happened like this:

Zor: "Don't worry, Dana! I'll save you!"
Dana: (Pointing at Sean) "No, no! Save him!"
Zor: "Right! Save Sean!! Where's the safety?" BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM!!!
Sean: "AAAIIIEEEEEE!!" (Drops to the floor, holding his foot)
Zor: "Did I do that? (Sounding like Steve Urkel)"

[Alpha 11]

Regis: "Note to self: When I invade the Earth, BLOODY WELL LEAVE NEPAL ALONE!!!"

(Back on The Masters' flagship)

Dana: "With all these Gurkhas running around, we should be able to find our way out without Zor spotting us!"
Zor: "Finally, I find you!"
Bowie: "NNNNNOOOOOOOO!! (Screaming like a girl)
Angelo: "Back inside! BACK INSIDE!"
Musica: "What idiot let Zor have guns?!"
(Everyone turns and looks at Sean)
Sean: "How was I supposed to know?!"

Alternatively:

"Masters, the ship is crawling with micronian troops!"
"All forces, defend the ship! Defend us! Crush the enemy!"
"Does that mean me, too?"
"Yes, I said ALL forces! That means you as well, Zor Prime!"
"I hear and obey! I shall defend you with my life!" *CLICK*
"Wait, we meant with your Bioro-oh $#!+"

Or it could've happened like this:

Zor: "Don't worry, Dana! I'll save you!"
Dana: (Pointing at Sean) "No, no! Save him!"
Zor: "Right! Save Sean!! Where's the safety?" BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM!!!
Sean: "AAAIIIEEEEEE!!" (Drops to the floor, holding his foot)
Zor: "Did I do that? (Sounding like Steve Urkel)"

[SRoss]

Musica: "Zor! Quick save the Masters!"

Zor: "Right, save the Masters..." (Pulls pin on grenade)

Masters: " "

[glitterboy2098]

lol.. Zor as Caboose..

http://rvb.wikia.com/wiki/Michael_J._Caboose
http://nrvb.wikia.com/wiki/List_of_Runn ... am_Killing

[taalismn]

Swiss General: (watching from a nearby mountain bunker) "I thought I told those guys NO tactical nucelar weapons! What are they trying to do, destroy what's LEFT of Switzerland?!"
(cut to shot of Robotech Masters' Mothership in Lake Geneva, as a mushroom cloud rises from its top)
Aide: "We're pretty sure that isn't one of ours...."
General: "The aliens are using WMDs against us?!"
Aide: "From what I'm getting, they're using WMDs on THEMSELVES."
General : "They're...they're suicidal!"
Aide: "They're foreigners, what do you expect?"

[Arnie100]

(Com chatter from the Swiss tactical radios)

"...He found us again...!"
"Zor...no, not tha --"
"Aiieee!!"
"...Sorry, Bowie..."
"...Come on...trying...save...YOU!!"

[taalismn]

Smoke clears revealing the Robotech Masters, utterly sootified.
RM1: "How the HELL did that happen?"
RM2L "You ordered Zor Prime to defend us."
RM3:"I KNOW THAT!!! How the HELL did he do so much damage with ONE grenade?!"
Science Master: "I believe I can explain. See, first Zor Prime fouled the throw-"
(Flashback scene: Zor's throwing arm looks like he's stuffing a turkey up to the elbow, and judging by the surprised look of agony on Karno's face , it's stuffed deep)
"-which should have actually muffled the blast, but for the repositioning of the grenade near a life support service trunk-"
(-Karno stumbling next to an open ventilation grill, behind which can be seen several pipes. To a reader of Tirolian, several are labelled with the markings for 'Oxygen', 'Hydrogen', and 'Methane')
"-the resulting blast-ignition of which was channeled by the hallways and bulkheads into an adjacent armory where we store our few missiles-"
(view of several Centurions standing in front of an open door taking out cases of weapons looking up in shock as a fireball washes over them)
"- and from there to one of the reaction mass reservoirs we use for refueling the non-Protoculture systems of our auxiliary craft-"
(several walls collapse as enormous storage tanks rupture, adding fuel and pressure to the growing fireball, several maintenance-caste clones running like hell ahead of it)
"- the outer hull of which helped contain and intensify the growing explosion like a big pressure cooker."
(conical hull feature on the top of the Mothership's hull lifts off like a rocket atop a mushroom cloud).
"That's what happened."
Masters look at the Science Master.
Robotech Masters: "...That was a rhetorical question."

[SRoss]

SRoss: "Wait! I'm confused! In the series, Zor smokes the pistol marksmanship test. How could he suddenly be so bad!?!"

Taalismn: "One word. Editing!"

A cobalt grenade lands at their feet...

SRoss & Taalismn: " "

#BBBOOOOOOMMM!#

Zor: "Sorry, my bad..."

[taalismn]

"Yes, the gunnery range scene in the original series was really filmed using Sergeant Edward Monkford, 2028 Southern Cross Martial Olympiad Pistol Marksmanship Champion.
Zor Prime, on the other hand, was filmed dancing to the theme 'Flashdance'."

[Arnie100]

Zor: "That song was pretty catchy! Though I preferred Footloose, to be honest."
Minmei:

[taalismn]

Security Camera Footage of What REALLY Happened When Zor Prime was given live ammo in the 15th's gunnery range:

(Overhead shot of the 15th's barracks structure:
All of a sudden a substantial portion of the roof collapses straight down. Minutes later sirens start wailing and emergency vehicles start converging)

"Lemme get this straight; he shot THROUGH the structural supports?! WITH AN AUTOMATIC PISTOL?! What did you really give him, a chain gun?!"
"El-tee, are you CERTAIN he's still not working for the other side?!"
"NOBODY can be that bad...."
"...on the other hand, it's hard to conceive of it getting any worse."
"Where is he, anyway? Buried under the rubble?"
"Out cleaning his pistol. It SHOULD be unloaded."

*BLAM!*
"YYIEKKKK!!!"
"...ops, sorry, whoever that was."
"....look at the bright side, Alpha, you no longer have an excuse NOT to get that nose job..."

[Alpha 11]

Musica: "Zor! Quick save the Masters!"

Zor: "Right, save the Masters..." (Pulls pin on grenade)

Masters: " "

lol.. Zor as Caboose..

http://rvb.wikia.com/wiki/Michael_J._Caboose
http://nrvb.wikia.com/wiki/List_of_Runn ... am_Killing

Swiss General: (watching from a nearby mountain bunker) "I thought I told those guys NO tactical nucelar weapons! What are they trying to do, destroy what's LEFT of Switzerland?!"
(cut to shot of Robotech Masters' Mothership in Lake Geneva, as a mushroom cloud rises from its top)
Aide: "We're pretty sure that isn't one of ours...."
General: "The aliens are using WMDs against us?!"
Aide: "From what I'm getting, they're using WMDs on THEMSELVES."
General : "They're...they're suicidal!"
Aide: "They're foreigners, what do you expect?"

(Com chatter from the Swiss tactical radios)

"...He found us again...!"
"Zor...no, not tha --"
"Aiieee!!"
"...Sorry, Bowie..."
"...Come on...trying...save...YOU!!"

Smoke clears revealing the Robotech Masters, utterly sootified.
RM1: "How the HELL did that happen?"
RM2L "You ordered Zor Prime to defend us."
RM3:"I KNOW THAT!!! How the HELL did he do so much damage with ONE grenade?!"
Science Master: "I believe I can explain. See, first Zor Prime fouled the throw-"
(Flashback scene: Zor's throwing arm looks like he's stuffing a turkey up to the elbow, and judging by the surprised look of agony on Karno's face , it's stuffed deep)
"-which should have actually muffled the blast, but for the repositioning of the grenade near a life support service trunk-"
(-Karno stumbling next to an open ventilation grill, behind which can be seen several pipes. To a reader of Tirolian, several are labelled with the markings for 'Oxygen', 'Hydrogen', and 'Methane')
"-the resulting blast-ignition of which was channeled by the hallways and bulkheads into an adjacent armory where we store our few missiles-"
(view of several Centurions standing in front of an open door taking out cases of weapons looking up in shock as a fireball washes over them)
"- and from there to one of the reaction mass reservoirs we use for refueling the non-Protoculture systems of our auxiliary craft-"
(several walls collapse as enormous storage tanks rupture, adding fuel and pressure to the growing fireball, several maintenance-caste clones running like hell ahead of it)
"- the outer hull of which helped contain and intensify the growing explosion like a big pressure cooker."
(conical hull feature on the top of the Mothership's hull lifts off like a rocket atop a mushroom cloud).
"That's what happened."
Masters look at the Science Master.
Robotech Masters: "...That was a rhetorical question."

[Alpha 11]

SRoss: "Wait! I'm confused! In the series, Zor smokes the pistol marksmanship test. How could he suddenly be so bad!?!"

Taalismn: "One word. Editing!"

A cobalt grenade lands at their feet...

SRoss & Taalismn: " "

#BBBOOOOOOMMM!#

Zor: "Sorry, my bad..."

"Yes, the gunnery range scene in the original series was really filmed using Sergeant Edward Monkford, 2028 Southern Cross Martial Olympiad Pistol Marksmanship Champion.
Zor Prime, on the other hand, was filmed dancing to the theme 'Flashdance'."

Zor: "That song was pretty catchy! Though I preferred Footloose, to be honest."
Minmei:

Security Camera Footage of What REALLY Happened When Zor Prime was given live ammo in the 15th's gunnery range:

(Overhead shot of the 15th's barracks structure:
All of a sudden a substantial portion of the roof collapses straight down. Minutes later sirens start wailing and emergency vehicles start converging)

"Lemme get this straight; he shot THROUGH the structural supports?! WITH AN AUTOMATIC PISTOL?! What did you really give him, a chain gun?!"
"El-tee, are you CERTAIN he's still not working for the other side?!"
"NOBODY can be that bad...."
"...on the other hand, it's hard to conceive of it getting any worse."
"Where is he, anyway? Buried under the rubble?"
"Out cleaning his pistol. It SHOULD be unloaded."

*BLAM!*
"YYIEKKKK!!!"
"...ops, sorry, whoever that was."
"....look at the bright side, Alpha, you no longer have an excuse NOT to get that nose job..."

Well, I never was very good looking to begin with.

[Arnie100]

Arnie100: "Ha! At least Zor hasn't found ME yet!"
Minmei: "No...but I did..."
Arnie100: "D'oh!!"

[taalismn]

Arnie100: "Ha! At least Zor hasn't found ME yet!"
Minmei: "No...but I did..."
Arnie100: "D'oh!!"

THIS POST SEVERELY EDITED FOR GRAPHIC VIOLENCE AND (IM)MATURE CONTENT
"...I meant the part about the tongue depressors as a JOKE! SERIOUSLY!"
"Oh, and I'm serious about this, too."
"NO! NOT TH-!!!"
THIS POST SEVERELY EDITED FOR JUST LOTS OF GRAPHIC VIOLENCE

[SRoss]

"Seriously, we've GOT to get her a boyfriend..."

[taalismn]

"Seriously, we've GOT to get her a boyfriend..."

"Preferably one who regenerates quickly and repeatedly."

[taalismn]

[

Well, I never was very good looking to begin with.

Just learn not to press your face up against the Fourth Wall so often.

[Alpha 11]

Arnie100: "Ha! At least Zor hasn't found ME yet!"
Minmei: "No...but I did..."
Arnie100: "D'oh!!"

Arnie100: "Ha! At least Zor hasn't found ME yet!"
Minmei: "No...but I did..."
Arnie100: "D'oh!!"

THIS POST SEVERELY EDITED FOR GRAPHIC VIOLENCE AND (IM)MATURE CONTENT
"...I meant the part about the tongue depressors as a JOKE! SERIOUSLY!"
"Oh, and I'm serious about this, too."
"NO! NOT TH-!!!"
THIS POST SEVERELY EDITED FOR JUST LOTS OF GRAPHIC VIOLENCE

"Seriously, we've GOT to get her a boyfriend..."

"Seriously, we've GOT to get her a boyfriend..."

"Preferably one who regenerates quickly and repeatedly."

Very true.

[

Well, I never was very good looking to begin with.

Just learn not to press your face up against the Fourth Wall so often.

It came THROGH the wall, and hit me about 5 feet from it.

[taalismn]

[

It came THROUGH the wall, and hit me about 5 feet from it.

That's why my 'computer chair' is on casters...I get to Roll w/ Impact. Or (try to) scoot away from grenades. Though that last one left me embedded in the fridge.

[glitterboy2098]

"Seriously, we've GOT to get her a boyfriend..."

"Preferably one who regenerates quickly and repeatedly."

all 11 Doctors: "sorry, not my type"

[taalismn]

"Seriously, we've GOT to get her a boyfriend..."

"Preferably one who regenerates quickly and repeatedly."

all 11 Doctors: "sorry, not my type"

(Angelo) Dante: "So what do you have for a sucking chest wound?"
The Doctor: "A back up heart."

[SRoss]

[

It came THROUGH the wall, and hit me about 5 feet from it.

That's why my 'computer chair' is on casters...I get to Roll w/ Impact. Or (try to) scoot away from grenades. Though that last one left me embedded in the fridge.

So what's your Dodge Bonus with the chair?

[SRoss]

"Seriously, we've GOT to get her a boyfriend..."

"Preferably one who regenerates quickly and repeatedly."

all 11 Doctors: "sorry, not my type"

(Angelo) Dante: "So what do you have for a sucking chest wound?"
The Doctor: "A back up heart."

"Quick steal the TARDIS! We can use it to reinforce the fourth wa ... AACK!"

Cyberman grabs SRoss by the throat.

[Arnie100]

"Seriously, we've GOT to get her a boyfriend..."

"Preferably one who regenerates quickly and repeatedly."

all 11 Doctors: "sorry, not my type"

(Angelo) Dante: "So what do you have for a sucking chest wound?"
The Doctor: "A back up heart."

"Quick steal the TARDIS! We can use it to reinforce the fourth wa ... AACK!"

Cyberman grabs SRoss by the throat.

Arnie100: "Sorry; mate, I'm still trying to hide from Minmei!"

[taalismn]

“Dana----”
“...ugh....”
“Dannnaaaaa......”
”....ngh....”
“DANA!”
”...don’t WANNA get up.....”
“DANA! WAKE UP!!!”
(KICK!)
“OOOWWW!!!WHAT?! WHAT?! It time to do ‘Shadow Chronicles 2’?!”
“No, it’s not, Dana. But you have to get up anyway.”
“You better have a good reason for kicking me in the ribs, then, you little brat! And who are you anyway?!”
“...you don’t recognize me?”
“No, can’t say I do.”
“I’m Aurora. You know, your little SISTER?!”
“...nope, still doesn’t ring any bells.”
“%^&*##*@ damn retcon!!!! Look, I’m Aurora, your little sister, at least until I got scrubbed from canon. And unless I start dying my hair and change my name to ‘Maia’, I’m pretty much stuck doing %^&&^ gigs like this!”
“...so, is there a point to this? ‘Cause I wanna go back to sleep.”
“You’re having a near-death experience.”
“Huh?! HOW?”
“Well, first you got shot in the legs by Zor, roughed up by Karno and his goons, then Zor set off that grenade, and that thing with Karno the Human Prostate Bomb resulted in a much bigger explosion than anticipated and basically you got fired the long way down a long corridor in the Masters’ ship and out like a shot out over Lake Geneva-”
“And then what?”
“The Swiss Alps got in the way.”
“So...I’m DEAD? OHMYGO-”
*SLAP*“This is a NEAR-death experience, Dana. You’re currently buried in a snowdrift. So concussion was a lot less than it should have been, the cold is actually slowing blood loss, though freezing to death is still a possibility. Anyways, seeing that you’re sort of in a state of limbo between life and death, so I can talk to you, because similarly I’m in a state of limbo, albeit canonical limbo.”
“...so...you supposed to lay some profound revelation on me? Pass on some sage advice? Let me see a glimpse of my parents?”
“OUR parents. Ar least when I can get into their dreams. Hmmm...as far as profound revelations? Yeah, I was supposed to tell you something, but, you know, I plum forgot! Oh well, it probably wasn’t very important. As for sage advice? You’re lucky it wasn’t Mom and Dad here talking to you, because I’m sure they’d give you an earful.”
“Oh?”
“You know, if it wasn’t clear that this Zor guy’s not INTENTIONALLY maiming you, you’d be considered to be in an abusive relationship. Mom and Pop would have already sworn out a restraining order on the guy, if not take matters into their own hands.”
“Oh, and what would they do?”
“They’re the top aces in the UEEF. Access to state of the art mecha and munitions. You put the pieces together.”
“Oh.”
“Anyways, you might want to exercise some caution in dating, Dana. Even look at other possibilities.”
“Like who?”
“Like somebody who doesn’t shoot your kneecaps off. If you’re really into that sort of thing, at least have some agreed-upon safewords and EMTs on speed-dial. Better yet, seeking counseling-”
“YOU’RE giving ME relationship advice?! You’re, what, eight years old?”
“Oh, right, rub it in. Oh, look, somebody found you, so it looks like you’re not dying this time. Though with your current relationship situation, it might not be long before you’re back here. Bye-bye!”
“...geez, what a little brat....”

[Arnie100]

Zor: "Dana...finally...huff...caught...wheez..."
Dana: "Oh, God...should've stayed in the other place...AURORA!! Take me back!"
Zor: "Who's Aurora? "

[Alpha 11]

[

It came THROUGH the wall, and hit me about 5 feet from it.

That's why my 'computer chair' is on casters...I get to Roll w/ Impact. Or (try to) scoot away from grenades. Though that last one left me embedded in the fridge.

"Seriously, we've GOT to get her a boyfriend..."

"Preferably one who regenerates quickly and repeatedly."

all 11 Doctors: "sorry, not my type"

"Seriously, we've GOT to get her a boyfriend..."

"Preferably one who regenerates quickly and repeatedly."

all 11 Doctors: "sorry, not my type"

(Angelo) Dante: "So what do you have for a sucking chest wound?"
The Doctor: "A back up heart."

[

It came THROUGH the wall, and hit me about 5 feet from it.

That's why my 'computer chair' is on casters...I get to Roll w/ Impact. Or (try to) scoot away from grenades. Though that last one left me embedded in the fridge.

So what's your Dodge Bonus with the chair?

"Seriously, we've GOT to get her a boyfriend..."

"Preferably one who regenerates quickly and repeatedly."

all 11 Doctors: "sorry, not my type"

(Angelo) Dante: "So what do you have for a sucking chest wound?"
The Doctor: "A back up heart."

"Quick steal the TARDIS! We can use it to reinforce the fourth wa ... AACK!"

Cyberman grabs SRoss by the throat.

[Alpha 11]

Arnie100: "Sorry; mate, I'm still trying to hide from Minmei!"

“Dana----”
“...ugh....”
“Dannnaaaaa......”
”....ngh....”
“DANA!”
”...don’t WANNA get up.....”
“DANA! WAKE UP!!!”
(KICK!)
“OOOWWW!!!WHAT?! WHAT?! It time to do ‘Shadow Chronicles 2’?!”
“No, it’s not, Dana. But you have to get up anyway.”
“You better have a good reason for kicking me in the ribs, then, you little brat! And who are you anyway?!”
“...you don’t recognize me?”
“No, can’t say I do.”
“I’m Aurora. You know, your little SISTER?!”
“...nope, still doesn’t ring any bells.”
“%^&*##*@ damn retcon!!!! Look, I’m Aurora, your little sister, at least until I got scrubbed from canon. And unless I start dying my hair and change my name to ‘Maia’, I’m pretty much stuck doing %^&&^ gigs like this!”
“...so, is there a point to this? ‘Cause I wanna go back to sleep.”
“You’re having a near-death experience.”
“Huh?! HOW?”
“Well, first you got shot in the legs by Zor, roughed up by Karno and his goons, then Zor set off that grenade, and that thing with Karno the Human Prostate Bomb resulted in a much bigger explosion than anticipated and basically you got fired the long way down a long corridor in the Masters’ ship and out like a shot out over Lake Geneva-”
“And then what?”
“The Swiss Alps got in the way.”
“So...I’m DEAD? OHMYGO-”
*SLAP*“This is a NEAR-death experience, Dana. You’re currently buried in a snowdrift. So concussion was a lot less than it should have been, the cold is actually slowing blood loss, though freezing to death is still a possibility. Anyways, seeing that you’re sort of in a state of limbo between life and death, so I can talk to you, because similarly I’m in a state of limbo, albeit canonical limbo.”
“...so...you supposed to lay some profound revelation on me? Pass on some sage advice? Let me see a glimpse of my parents?”
“OUR parents. Ar least when I can get into their dreams. Hmmm...as far as profound revelations? Yeah, I was supposed to tell you something, but, you know, I plum forgot! Oh well, it probably wasn’t very important. As for sage advice? You’re lucky it wasn’t Mom and Dad here talking to you, because I’m sure they’d give you an earful.”
“Oh?”
“You know, if it wasn’t clear that this Zor guy’s not INTENTIONALLY maiming you, you’d be considered to be in an abusive relationship. Mom and Pop would have already sworn out a restraining order on the guy, if not take matters into their own hands.”
“Oh, and what would they do?”
“They’re the top aces in the UEEF. Access to state of the art mecha and munitions. You put the pieces together.”
“Oh.”
“Anyways, you might want to exercise some caution in dating, Dana. Even look at other possibilities.”
“Like who?”
“Like somebody who doesn’t shoot your kneecaps off. If you’re really into that sort of thing, at least have some agreed-upon safewords and EMTs on speed-dial. Better yet, seeking counseling-”
“YOU’RE giving ME relationship advice?! You’re, what, eight years old?”
“Oh, right, rub it in. Oh, look, somebody found you, so it looks like you’re not dying this time. Though with your current relationship situation, it might not be long before you’re back here. Bye-bye!”
“...geez, what a little brat....”

Zor: "Dana...finally...huff...caught...wheez..."
Dana: "Oh, God...should've stayed in the other place...AURORA!! Take me back!"
Zor: "Who's Aurora? "

[taalismn]

SRoss:(still dangling in Cyberman's grasp) "ack...gasp....a little...HELP!...here?"
Zor: "Did I hear somebody call for help?"

[SRoss]

SRoss:(still dangling in Cyberman's grasp) "ack...gasp....a little...HELP!...here?"
Zor: "Did I hear somebody call for help?"

Cyberman & SRoss: