Robotech Blooper Reels

[Alpha 11]

Several desperate individuals open a heavily secured door, enter and close it behind them.

SRoss: "We'll just hide here until the heat dies down."

Sailor(s) Pluto: "YOU!!!"

Fourth Wall Gang: " "

The camera pulls back to the sound of rumbling, crashing and screams, as the Sailor(s) Pluto exorcise there demons with extreme brutality.

Psychiatrist:(looking in observation window at bed-tied Setsuna chortling madly)"Nurse, change the anti-psychotic prescription; patient's been having entirely too many aggressive hallucinations under the current one."

[taalismn]

"I HATE THEM! I HATE THEM! I HATE THEM!"
"Who, Setsuna?"
"INTERDIMENSIONAL TRAVELERS!!! THEY MESS UP ORDER! THEY SCREW UP THE TIMESTREAM! THEY'RE A THREAT TO CRYSTAL TOKYO! I WISH I COULD KILL THEM AL-"
*pft*
"...ohlookatthebirdies..."(phd)
SCCCRRRRREEECCCCHHHHHH
sssslllliiidddewhumpfclatterclatterclatter
"Stand back! We got this!"
strapstrapbagstrapstrapclatter
"SECURED!"
clatterslideSLAM!
"Thank you for calling us, ma'am. You did the right thing; when Temporal Mages lose it, it's never pretty!"
"If I had to listen to her rant one more time about 'dimensional travelers' and 'threats to Crystal Tokyo', I was tempted to go mad myself. Just take care of her, okay!"
"You have my word, Miss Tsukino; Happy Daze Psychiatric Home prides itself on looking after its patients."

[SRoss]

SRoss: (Hiding in the closet, setting broken bones) "I've never been so glad those guys are on our tail."

Taalismn: "Anyone see where my teeth landed?"

[taalismn]

SRoss: (Hiding in the closet, setting broken bones) "I've never been so glad those guys are on our tail."

Taalismn: "Anyone see where my teeth landed?"

"Well, Corg, I'd say it's the lower mandible from a human being embedded in your forehead, Care to explain how THAT happened?"
"Just remove it and let me be on my way! No more stupid questions!"

[Alpha 11]

"I HATE THEM! I HATE THEM! I HATE THEM!"
"Who, Setsuna?"
"INTERDIMENSIONAL TRAVELERS!!! THEY MESS UP ORDER! THEY SCREW UP THE TIMESTREAM! THEY'RE A THREAT TO CRYSTAL TOKYO! I WISH I COULD KILL THEM AL-"
*pft*
"...ohlookatthebirdies..."(phd)
SCCCRRRRREEECCCCHHHHHH
sssslllliiidddewhumpfclatterclatterclatter
"Stand back! We got this!"
strapstrapbagstrapstrapclatter
"SECURED!"
clatterslideSLAM!
"Thank you for calling us, ma'am. You did the right thing; when Temporal Mages lose it, it's never pretty!"
"If I had to listen to her rant one more time about 'dimensional travelers' and 'threats to Crystal Tokyo', I was tempted to go mad myself. Just take care of her, okay!"
"You have my word, Miss Tsukino; Happy Daze Psychiatric Home prides itself on looking after its patients."

SRoss: (Hiding in the closet, setting broken bones) "I've never been so glad those guys are on our tail."

Taalismn: "Anyone see where my teeth landed?"

SRoss: (Hiding in the closet, setting broken bones) "I've never been so glad those guys are on our tail."

Taalismn: "Anyone see where my teeth landed?"

"Well, Corg, I'd say it's the lower mandible from a human being embedded in your forehead, Care to explain how THAT happened?"
"Just remove it and let me be on my way! No more stupid questions!"

[thorr-kan]

General Edwards:(looking at screen) "Hard to believe that's me..."
Sammy: "Not really."
Canon Edwards:(on screen)"...because of you, Hunter, I've seen HELL!!! I'll NEVER FORGIVE YOU, I'LL(sizzle)--oh he-"#BLAM#
GE: "He exploded?"
Sammy: "Spontaneous combustion. His aftershave is nitroglycerine-based and reacts badly to heated diatribes."
GE: "Is he available for birthday parties?"
Sammy: "Weddings, too. The fireworks are especially pretty of he's gotten some hard liquor in him first."
GE: "Bar mitzvahs?"
Sammy: "Name the place and time."
GE: "Good; there's a couple of hardasses on Earth we're still negotiating with who'd like to see me burn in effigy. That might make for an amusing icebreaker to smooth things over with them."

<Vader>Impressive.</Vader>

You got the tone just right.

[taalismn]

"Be glad it's not 'Grand Theft Mecha' and you're a hooker."

[taalismn]

100-ton Hammer from hammerspace or Fist of Death?

[Alpha 11]

General Edwards:(looking at screen) "Hard to believe that's me..."
Sammy: "Not really."
Canon Edwards:(on screen)"...because of you, Hunter, I've seen HELL!!! I'll NEVER FORGIVE YOU, I'LL(sizzle)--oh he-"#BLAM#
GE: "He exploded?"
Sammy: "Spontaneous combustion. His aftershave is nitroglycerine-based and reacts badly to heated diatribes."
GE: "Is he available for birthday parties?"
Sammy: "Weddings, too. The fireworks are especially pretty of he's gotten some hard liquor in him first."
GE: "Bar mitzvahs?"
Sammy: "Name the place and time."
GE: "Good; there's a couple of hardasses on Earth we're still negotiating with who'd like to see me burn in effigy. That might make for an amusing icebreaker to smooth things over with them."

<Vader>Impressive.</Vader>

You got the tone just right.

Dana fires her laser at the reflective door and the shot eventually hits the floor and sends Dana and her tank into the floor below. Meanwhile, on the floor below the Robotech Master look up and see the bottom of a hovertank crashing on them, they didn't even have time to register that their plan had taken a horrible turn. The mushroom-shaped computer the Masters used explodes and sends Dana through the north wall at a 40 degree angle. Dana keeps hitting exploding things and even lands on Zor Prime, who explodes and sends her flying even further. She eventually settle on crashing through the cloning tanks holding the original copies of the Masters.

Eventually, Louie and Bowie catch up and look at Dana, "Are you alright?"

Dana clears her head and asks, "Alright, which of you wise guys replaced the Second Robotech War with Homerun in Berzerk Land and decided I was the nerd?"

"Be glad it's not 'Grand Theft Mecha' and you're a hooker."

Bowie: Would that make Leonard, Emerson, or Nova her pimp?

Louie: Run to the hills! Run for your life!

Dana: I'd like to see him outrun a hovertank.

Bowie: Exit, stage left....

100-ton Hammer from hammerspace or Fist of Death?

[taalismn]

"...okay...should have been clued in by 'run over by a Hovertank'.....she can get thing running as fast in reverse as in forward gear..."

[taalismn]

"She takes after her mother."

Angelo: :"She prefers pistols to knives, though."
Zor Prime: "So...threatening to shoot me at the hospital, that was FOREPLAY?!"

[taalismn]

Angelo: "It could be worse. The laser was needed for a little bit of silence. She prefers desert eagles for the bigger bang."

Zor Prime: "I'm surprised I lasted to the end of the Masters Saga."

Bowie: "We're kinda surprised too."
Sean:"You still die, though."

[SRoss]

Angelo: "It could be worse. The laser was needed for a little bit of silence. She prefers desert eagles for the bigger bang."

Zor Prime: "I'm surprised I lasted to the end of the Masters Saga."

Bowie: "We're kinda surprised too."
Sean:"You still die, though."

SRoss: "Here! Use this." (Hands Dana the gun Louie modified)

[taalismn]

Dana: "Nah, I'll just use the blowtorch!"
Louie: "Karen Penn's got it. Something about 'attitude adjustment' or 'stimulating conversation', or maybe just 'stimulation'. She was wearing a bathrobe at the time, so I really didn't want to ask for clarification what she meant...."

[Alpha 11]

"...okay...should have been clued in by 'run over by a Hovertank'.....she can get thing running as fast in reverse as in forward gear..."

"She takes after her mother."

"She takes after her mother."

Angelo: :"She prefers pistols to knives, though."
Zor Prime: "So...threatening to shoot me at the hospital, that was FOREPLAY?!"

Angelo: "It could be worse. The laser was needed for a little bit of silence. She prefers desert eagles for the bigger bang."

Zor Prime: "I'm surprised I lasted to the end of the Masters Saga."

Angelo: "It could be worse. The laser was needed for a little bit of silence. She prefers desert eagles for the bigger bang."

Zor Prime: "I'm surprised I lasted to the end of the Masters Saga."

Bowie: "We're kinda surprised too."
Sean:"You still die, though."

Angelo: "It could be worse. The laser was needed for a little bit of silence. She prefers desert eagles for the bigger bang."

Zor Prime: "I'm surprised I lasted to the end of the Masters Saga."

Bowie: "We're kinda surprised too."
Sean:"You still die, though."

SRoss: "Here! Use this." (Hands Dana the gun Louie modified)

Dana: "Nah, I'll just use the blowtorch!"
Louie: "Karen Penn's got it. Something about 'attitude adjustment' or 'stimulating conversation', or maybe just 'stimulation'. She was wearing a bathrobe at the time, so I really didn't want to ask for clarification what she meant...."

[Arnie100]

Dana: "Nah, I'll just use the blowtorch!"
Louie: "Karen Penn's got it. Something about 'attitude adjustment' or 'stimulating conversation', or maybe just 'stimulation'. She was wearing a bathrobe at the time, so I really didn't want to ask for clarification what she meant...."

Baker: (Covered head to toe in bandages) "It was 'attitude adjustment'...ouchie..."

[taalismn]

Marcus: "Oh god, I'm entering into a romantic relationship and what do I have as role models around here? O',-"
Sean Phillips: "Yep. you're pretty much doomed."
Marie: "Eh-HEM?"
Sean: "-because, my little chickadee, ours is the most NORMAL relationship around here, and that means young Mister Rush's relationship must develop some peculiarity of its own to distinguish itself, since we really can't have TWO normal relationships going on."
Marie: "Smooth save."
Marcus: "i really am doomed, aren't I?"

[Arnie100]

Maia: "RUSH!!! I want my foot massage and I want it NOW!!" (Crack of a whip)

Marcus; "Coming!"

Marie: "I want one of those..."

Sean:

[taalismn]

Marie: "You want the continuation of your bloodline, you'll be giving me a foot massage, without any grumbling!"
Sean: "Load-bearing joints showing a little fatigue?"
Marie: "No smartass either."

[Alpha 11]

Dana: "Nah, I'll just use the blowtorch!"
Louie: "Karen Penn's got it. Something about 'attitude adjustment' or 'stimulating conversation', or maybe just 'stimulation'. She was wearing a bathrobe at the time, so I really didn't want to ask for clarification what she meant...."

Baker: (Covered head to toe in bandages) "It was 'attitude adjustment'...ouchie..."

Marcus: "Oh god, I'm entering into a romantic relationship and what do I have as role models around here? O',-"
Sean Phillips: "Yep. you're pretty much doomed."
Marie: "Eh-HEM?"
Sean: "-because, my little chickadee, ours is the most NORMAL relationship around here, and that means young Mister Rush's relationship must develop some peculiarity of its own to distinguish itself, since we really can't have TWO normal relationships going on."
Marie: "Smooth save."
Marcus: "i really am doomed, aren't I?"

Maia: "RUSH!!! I want my foot massage and I want it NOW!!" (Crack of a whip)

Marcus; "Coming!"

Marie: "I want one of those..."

Sean:

Marie: "You want the continuation of your bloodline, you'll be giving me a foot massage, without any grumbling!"
Sean: "Load-bearing joints showing a little fatigue?"
Marie: "No smartass either."

[Arnie100]

Janice: "Louie? Is that normal behavior for humans?"
Louie: "For some; unfortunately, yes."
Janice: "I want a foot massage, Louie."

[SRoss]

Janice: "Louie? Is that normal behavior for humans?"
Louie: "For some; unfortunately, yes."
Janice: "I want a foot massage, Louie."

Louie: "Ok..." (Pulls out a belt sander)

[taalismn]

Janice: "Louie? Is that normal behavior for humans?"
Louie: "For some; unfortunately, yes."
Janice: "I want a foot massage, Louie."

Louie: "Ok..." (Pulls out a belt sander)

Doctor Louie Nichols, co-author of Sex With Power Tools: Technique for the Cyberphile.

[Alpha 11]

Janice: "Louie? Is that normal behavior for humans?"
Louie: "For some; unfortunately, yes."
Janice: "I want a foot massage, Louie."

Janice: "Louie? Is that normal behavior for humans?"
Louie: "For some; unfortunately, yes."
Janice: "I want a foot massage, Louie."

Louie: "Ok..." (Pulls out a belt sander)

Janice: "Louie? Is that normal behavior for humans?"
Louie: "For some; unfortunately, yes."
Janice: "I want a foot massage, Louie."

Louie: "Ok..." (Pulls out a belt sander)

Doctor Louie Nichols, co-author of Sex With Power Tools: Technique for the Cyberphile.

[SRoss]

"Now we know why UEEF pilots start so young!"

"It's safer then dating."

[taalismn]

"Now we know why UEEF pilots start so young!"

"It's safer then dating."

Because mechaphilia is easier to treat than other romantic hang-ups?

[taalismn]

Dr. Lang: "I knew I never should have joked about jury-rigging cloning hardware into mecha for the technophiles to actually have offspring..."

Dr. Grant: "Hurry up, Dr. Lang! We have 5 more babies to deliver from various Alpha fighters in the course of the next hour!"

It's the Betas you really have to worry about: they have bomb bays.

[Alpha 11]

"Now we know why UEEF pilots start so young!"

"It's safer then dating."

"Now we know why UEEF pilots start so young!"

"It's safer then dating."

Because mechaphilia is easier to treat than other romantic hang-ups?

Dr. Lang: "I knew I never should have joked about jury-rigging cloning hardware into mecha for the technophiles to actually have offspring..."

Dr. Grant: "Hurry up, Dr. Lang! We have 5 more babies to deliver from various Alpha fighters in the course of the next hour!"

Dr. Lang: "I knew I never should have joked about jury-rigging cloning hardware into mecha for the technophiles to actually have offspring..."

Dr. Grant: "Hurry up, Dr. Lang! We have 5 more babies to deliver from various Alpha fighters in the course of the next hour!"

It's the Betas you really have to worry about: they have bomb bays.

[taalismn]

"Congrats, you have five-hundred pound quints! Just be careful burping them."

[Alpha 11]

"Congrats, you have five-hundred pound quints! Just be careful burping them."

[taalismn]

...and just wait until they become teenagers...

[Alpha 11]

...and just wait until they become teenagers...

[taalismn]

Reinhardt: "What do you mean we can't decommision 15,000 veritech fighters?"

Rick: "Well, they have become mothers to children, especially the Betas who have a lot of multiple births. Even if we were to ignore the protesters, child psychologists and politicians, do YOU want to explain to all those children why 'mommy' had to be melted down?"

Reinhardt: "Why did this happen to us?"

Rick: "Someone made a dumb, off-the-cuff remark, and someone ran with it like it was serious."

Reinhardt: "I need more asprin."

Lang: "I just wasn't thinking when I opened my mouth."
Rick: "Next time somebody does something like this, THEY pay for company child support..."

[Alpha 11]

Reinhardt: "What do you mean we can't decommision 15,000 veritech fighters?"

Rick: "Well, they have become mothers to children, especially the Betas who have a lot of multiple births. Even if we were to ignore the protesters, child psychologists and politicians, do YOU want to explain to all those children why 'mommy' had to be melted down?"

Reinhardt: "Why did this happen to us?"

Rick: "Someone made a dumb, off-the-cuff remark, and someone ran with it like it was serious."

Reinhardt: "I need more asprin."

Reinhardt: "What do you mean we can't decommision 15,000 veritech fighters?"

Rick: "Well, they have become mothers to children, especially the Betas who have a lot of multiple births. Even if we were to ignore the protesters, child psychologists and politicians, do YOU want to explain to all those children why 'mommy' had to be melted down?"

Reinhardt: "Why did this happen to us?"

Rick: "Someone made a dumb, off-the-cuff remark, and someone ran with it like it was serious."

Reinhardt: "I need more asprin."

Lang: "I just wasn't thinking when I opened my mouth."
Rick: "Next time somebody does something like this, THEY pay for company child support..."

[taalismn]

"Okay, whoever installed the 'pie in the face' dispenser in the cockpit glove compartment, I wanna have WORDS with them!"

[taalismn]

Dana and Maia start walking away from the Silverback that has had it's entire airbag system replaced with lemon creme.

Dana: "Well, dad said we needed more bonding time."

Maia: "I just hope we don't get caught until after it goes off."

"Let me assure you; this isn't supposed to happen in standard-equiped Silverbacks..."
(POV draws back to show a UEEF instructor sitting in the shotgun seat of a Silverback, next to a Karbarrean senior military official. Both are covered in yellow goo)

[taalismn]

Kabarrean Official: "That's too bad, this stuff makes great Kobear repellant. Maybe you should make it a feature."

UEEF Instructor: "Never underestimate what makes for design changes in mecha."

As if the armor plating, robotic strength actuators, rail gun turret, and misisle launchers aren't enough to repel Kobears.....

When Karbarreans go picnicking in the wilderness of their world, it's more like Russian Roullete than Communing With the Happy Animals...

[taalismn]

"Teddy Bear Picnic" takes a very different meaning after being on a picnic with Kaberreans.

Or if H.P. Lovecraft had created the character of Yogi Bear...
Yogsoggoth Bear.

[Alpha 11]

"Okay, whoever installed the 'pie in the face' dispenser in the cockpit glove compartment, I wanna have WORDS with them!"

Dana and Maia start walking away from the Silverback that has had it's entire airbag system replaced with lemon creme.

Dana: "Well, dad said we needed more bonding time."

Maia: "I just hope we don't get caught until after it goes off."

Dana and Maia start walking away from the Silverback that has had it's entire airbag system replaced with lemon creme.

Dana: "Well, dad said we needed more bonding time."

Maia: "I just hope we don't get caught until after it goes off."

"Let me assure you; this isn't supposed to happen in standard-equiped Silverbacks..."
(POV draws back to show a UEEF instructor sitting in the shotgun seat of a Silverback, next to a Karbarrean senior military official. Both are covered in yellow goo)

Kabarrean Official: "That's too bad, this stuff makes great Kobear repellant. Maybe you should make it a feature."

UEEF Instructor: "Never underestimate what makes for design changes in mecha."

Kabarrean Official: "That's too bad, this stuff makes great Kobear repellant. Maybe you should make it a feature."

UEEF Instructor: "Never underestimate what makes for design changes in mecha."

As if the armor plating, robotic strength actuators, rail gun turret, and misisle launchers aren't enough to repel Kobears.....

When Karbarreans go picnicking in the wilderness of their world, it's more like Russian Roullete than Communing With the Happy Animals...

"Teddy Bear Picnic" takes a very different meaning after being on a picnic with Kaberreans.

"Teddy Bear Picnic" takes a very different meaning after being on a picnic with Kaberreans.

Or if H.P. Lovecraft had created the character of Yogi Bear...
Yogsoggoth Bear.

[SRoss]

Could be worse, could have been Pedeobears!!!

[taalismn]

Could be worse, could have been Pedeobears!!!

Is it possible to co combine a flamethrower AND a rail gun in one weapon?

[Chronicler]

Could be worse, could have been Pedeobears!!!

Is it possible to co combine a flamethrower AND a rail gun in one weapon?

For that, yeah.

[taalismn]

Either that, or there's THIS: http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080418002617/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/d/d1/ImageC.jpg/500px-ImageC.jpg

[glitterboy2098]

drops Posleen war surplus anti-matter cluster bomb on thread.

that do it?

[taalismn]

Nova Bombs, people, nova bombs. Enough degenerate matter to bloat a star into explosive inflation. Just the thing to deal with degenerates.

[Alpha 11]

Could be worse, could have been Pedeobears!!!

Could be worse, could have been Pedeobears!!!

Is it possible to co combine a flamethrower AND a rail gun in one weapon?

Anything is possible.

Either that, or there's THIS: http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080418002617/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/d/d1/ImageC.jpg/500px-ImageC.jpg

Not enough carnage to deal with a pedobear joke. Add some tear gas.

Need more then that.

drops Posleen war surplus anti-matter cluster bomb on thread.

that do it?

Maybe.

Not quite. Someone go rent a Death Star.

Nova Bombs, people, nova bombs. Enough degenerate matter to bloat a star into explosive inflation. Just the thing to deal with degenerates.

[SRoss]

Throw in a poisonous snake launcher and I'm sold.

[SRoss]

"Ah! Here we go, poetic destruction. ALIASSE!!! You're up!"

[taalismn]

Dana: I didn't think I'd see this much needless destruction outside of a Robotech War.
Nova: Never underestimate geeks trying to one-up each other.
Marie: Speaking from experience Nova?
Nova: Dennis's hobbies were not what I expected them to be.

"DENNIS!!! GET OFF SPACEBATTLES AND COME BACK TO BED!!!! I'M COLD AD LONELY!!!"
"But there's this troll online who-"
"DENNIS! NOW!!!"

[Arnie100]

Nova: "Good...now I can finally Spacebattles!"