randomer item table

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed May 21, 2014 12:29 pm

26: Warm Soda---A metal can of carbonated beverage. It is both warm AND has been well shaken up prior to the PCs discovering it. Anybody opening it takes 1d4 SDC damage (to a 5 ft blast radius) as the can explodes in a spray of aluminum shrapnel, 50% chance of knocking people in that blast radius off their feet, and those in a 10 ft radius beyond that are tagged and soaked by the spraying soda. Not so much refreshing as blast-stunning.

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Wed May 21, 2014 2:32 pm

27. Coke and only too late do you find out that picking it up released mentos into the soda... As you try to throw it you also learn that there was adhesive on the bottle. BOOM it goes off on your hand. You take 1d4 sdc and everyone in a 10' radius is doused in soda. You also loose feeling in your hand and suffer -10% to any skill requiring a sense of touch, for d% minutes. Oh and you suffer the effects of being rendered deaf too, for d4 rounds, then half effects as the ringing subsides.

Wasn't that fun? Lets try another!

Wait how the heck did that one get in your other hand?!

(repeat once for each grasping appendage a creature has.)

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed May 21, 2014 3:18 pm

28. Can of D-bee Soda---Yes, it's a non-standard-sized(14 ounces or so) metal can of some beverage, its outsides printed in a decidedly non-human language, but the art is enough to suggest that the contents are liquid, tasty, and refreshing. Only upon attempting to open it, will one discover that its contents are, in fact, a Coalition-made(or Northern Gun-made, if the perps want to cover their tracks) fragmentation grenade ungentlemanly rigged to go off in your face(s), because only a d-bee or d-bee-loving enemy of the state would pick up such obvious d-bee item. Rotten booby-trapping bastards.

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Wed May 21, 2014 3:21 pm

taalismn wrote:28. Can of D-bee Soda---Yes, it's a non-standard-sized(14 ounces or so) metal can of some beverage, its outsides printed in a decidedly non-human language, but the art is enough to suggest that the contents are liquid, tasty, and refreshing. Only upon attempting to open it, will one discover that its contents are, in fact, a Coalition-made(or Northern Gun-made, if the perps want to cover their tracks) fragmentation grenade ungentlemanly rigged to go off in your face(s), because only a d-bee or d-bee-loving enemy of the state would pick up such obvious d-bee item. Rotten booby-trapping bastards.

Lol thanks jerk made me choke on my lunch laughing.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu May 22, 2014 9:17 am

29: Laff Track---An 8-track tape cassette. If anybody has an appropriate player(or can kludge up a player), all 8 tracks seem to consist of somebody apparently trying to laugh with an obstructed airway(a good Foresnics roll will indicate various substances as the blockage(s)), before suffocating in the process. It's certainly not any form of music or language. Must be some d-bee fetish thing.

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Thu May 22, 2014 4:16 pm

29. (if the characters aren't in the middle of nowhere or a ruined and abandoned city then reroll). A teriyaki restaurant and its the best dang food you've ever had. Roll vs. magic if you succeed you forget about the restaurant but your new favorite type of food is teriyaki. If you fail... When ever you talk to a friend you bring it up... Even if they were there. If they weren't there you suggest they try it but for the life of you you can't remember exactly where it was. Even if you just turned one corner, because it isn't there so it must have been somewhere else. It always seems as if it was just around the last corner, even if you're in the middle of a flat plane. "Well if you just go around the cor... Uh, it must be in... I can't remember the street name. Now it going to bother me all day.". And it has been everyday, all day, ever since you ate there, but you don't mind that because it was so good and everyone...EVERYONE should try it!

drewkitty ~..~ · Thu May 22, 2014 4:32 pm

30> A set of the Bubblegum Crisis RPG (The Mainbook and the expansion book) and assorted dice.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu May 22, 2014 5:32 pm

31. My Little Pony RPG(Sudden Death Edition) w/ Magic Dice---Anybody actually playing this game and rolling a critical failure gets friendship-nuked in a rainbow blast.

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Thu May 22, 2014 9:25 pm

drewkitty ~..~ wrote:30> A set of the Bubblegum Crisis RPG and assorted dice.

Hey just cuz we can't find anyone to play it doesn't mean it gets abandoned until the apocalypse. Which books?

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Thu May 22, 2014 9:27 pm

32- The Mekton collection everything from the original box set to Mekton II to Mekton Empire to Mekton Zeta.

No dice though, gotta get em yourself.

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Thu May 22, 2014 9:33 pm

33- The complete collection of Synnibar
You believe this will make a fine addition to your collection. What you don't know is that due to all of the over engineering in calculations and the shallow world setting combined with the obvious bent toward munchkinism, where you can become a god, you now own a game frequently known as the worst RPG ever made... And yet somehow your living in "the most munchkin world."

The Oh So Amazing Nate · Thu May 22, 2014 10:53 pm

I love Synnibar! They've got one at the local mall. I always get the mini synnibars and ask for extra icing. mmmmm diabetes never tasted so good.

abe · Unread post by **abe** » Thu May 22, 2014 11:03 pm

34.a key chain of doom!
it has so many items besides a key that it can be used as a mini-flail for 1d4 sdc (mdc if the items are mdc in nature) per attack!
other than that it's a regular key chain.

The Oh So Amazing Nate · Fri May 23, 2014 12:41 am

Nightfactory wrote:35. Mighty Prophylactic of Bill Clinton - Gives the wearer Supernatural PS and PE (but only in one place...). Further, the wearer is +5 to dodge/parry thrown frying pans and kitchen flatware. If wielding a cigar, the wearer is +7 to strike. The only thing that can cancel the effects are blue dresses.

-82% to fidelity and good judgement should also apply.

The Oh So Amazing Nate · Fri May 23, 2014 1:14 am

Nightfactory wrote:
The Oh So Amazing Nate wrote:
Nightfactory wrote:35. Mighty Prophylactic of Bill Clinton - Gives the wearer Supernatural PS and PE (but only in one place...). Further, the wearer is +5 to dodge/parry thrown frying pans and kitchen flatware. If wielding a cigar, the wearer is +7 to strike. The only thing that can cancel the effects are blue dresses.

-82% to fidelity and good judgement should also apply.

As well as -5 to save vs. shapely thighs.

I'd only call that "intern" shapely in the sense that round is a shape

The Oh So Amazing Nate · Fri May 23, 2014 1:15 am

Nightfactory wrote:36. Decanter of Endless Emoticons - This object appears to be nothing more than a dusty wine bottle. However, if unstoppered, it lets forth a titanic blast of emoticons [ : ) , : p , |-), ; )~~ , etc ] which hit with the force of a freight train, doing 2D4x10 MD per melee round. Anyone hit with such a blast must also save vs. Insanity or be mentally transformed into a 13-year-old girl for 1D6 minutes. It takes a combined PS of 50 to restopper the bottle.

if securely fastened to an object or person, could this be used as a propulsion system?

The Oh So Amazing Nate · Fri May 23, 2014 1:17 am

Nightfactory wrote:37. Hair Jel of Bieber The Merciless - Found in random bottles across the Megaverse, this glowing green jel gives the user a number of mystical properties when applied liberally to his/her hair: Impervious to Fire, Impervious to Static Cling, Impervious to South Texas Humidity, +40% to Seduce, +25% to Say Nothing. On the downside, the user is -90% to Make Up A Good Excuse For Drinking & Driving, -50% to Act Like A Mature Adult, -75% to Not Act Like A Spoiled Rich Kid. Further, each use of the HJoBtB has a cumulative, irreversable effect of lowering the wearers IQ by one point per month. Orcs love it.

It's Gel

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Fri May 23, 2014 2:05 am

The Oh So Amazing Nate wrote:I love Synnibar! They've got one at the local mall. I always get the mini synnibars and ask for extra icing. mmmmm diabetes never tasted so good.

No, no your thinking the best thing ever made that will kill you while your chewing it in gastronomic ecstasy, not the worst/too over engineered/too shallow/too munchkin RPG ever made. Easy mistake but one you want to pick up and and get upset when its gone the other you'll pick up and in hopes that it will get better end up with a migraine and hope that its gone.

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Fri May 23, 2014 2:11 am

Nightfactory wrote:38. Tor's Circlet of Ponderous Rhetoric - This ornately-crafted gold circlet gives the wearer the ability to post threads which deconstruct Palladium rules down to their atomic structure and give complex arguments as to why they should not be so. +5 to Confuse Everyone, +59% to Debate, +30% to Cause Others To Scratch Heads.

39. Nightfactory's Bracers of Instigation - These plain metal bracers contain a terrible secret: the wearer will be compelled to post threads which are controversial and get everyone pissed off at each other. -10 to save vs. No You Didn't, -20% to Calm the F Down, -80% to Seduce Kevin Siembieda. On the plus side, the wearer is +15 to Post Like A Mad Bastard, +10 to Dodge Logical Fallacies, +45% to Send Jeffar A Hairnet Or Something.

Why would you want to send the bad guy from Aladdin a hairnet? You missed a 'f'... And a name isn't insignificant

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Fri May 23, 2014 2:22 am

Nightfactory wrote:38. Tor's Circlet of Ponderous Rhetoric - This ornately-crafted gold circlet gives the wearer the ability to post threads which deconstruct Palladium rules down to their atomic structure and give complex arguments as to why they should not be so. +5 to Confuse Everyone, +59% to Debate, +30% to Cause Others To Scratch Heads.

39. Nightfactory's Bracers of Instigation - These plain metal bracers contain a terrible secret: the wearer will be compelled to post threads which are controversial and get everyone pissed off at each other. -10 to save vs. No You Didn't, -20% to Calm the F Down, -80% to Seduce Kevin Siembieda. On the plus side, the wearer is +15 to Post Like A Mad Bastard, +10 to Dodge Logical Fallacies, +45% to Send Jeffar A Hairnet Or Something.

Controversial? Pissed off? You missed the war of the teleport thread. Since it can't be necroed I'll post it for your reading pleasure. viewtopic.php?f=8&t=24975&hilit=the+thread+that+never+ends

The Oh So Amazing Nate · Fri May 23, 2014 2:32 am

Nightfactory wrote:Absolutely. 100 on dry land.

Kind of like what happens at 1:00

The Oh So Amazing Nate · Fri May 23, 2014 2:56 am

Nightfactory wrote:
Zer0 Kay wrote:Controversial? Pissed off?

Did you miss my GBLT thread? Me and Nate almost came to blows over it (but we're friends now).

Don't believe a word he says. No one came close to blows of any kind.

The Oh So Amazing Nate · Fri May 23, 2014 3:44 am

As long as you got the joke :ok:

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Fri May 23, 2014 3:44 pm

Nightfactory wrote:
The Oh So Amazing Nate wrote: As long as you got the joke

Nicely done!

What are you to talking about it was a massacre. Killer Cyborg was just called Killer then oh the huge manatee. All cuz someone tried teleporting him into a cardboard box on wheels. You should seen the guy that got teleported into the box sealed with duct tape... Well teleported around it. It was horrid. I still suffer from Post Traumatic Post Disorder, that's right PTPD it is as close to PTSD that I came while I was serving in the USAF.

Hey, Have a good Memorial day weekend guys remember all those that gave their all and all the others who are still giving some. Gotta go call my friends who are still in now. Later

drewkitty ~..~ · Fri May 23, 2014 6:48 pm

Zer0 Kay wrote:
drewkitty ~..~ wrote:30> A set of the Bubblegum Crisis RPG and assorted dice.

Hey just cuz we can't find anyone to play it doesn't mean it gets abandoned until the apocalypse. Which books?

And you are looking at it sideways, it says that they survived where the PB gamebooks didn't. :wink:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri May 23, 2014 8:18 pm

41. Internet Punch Screen---Congrats; you have found the Holy Grail of the Internet, the Excalibur of the Online Forums. Placing this device over your computer screen allows you to put your fist through your computer screen to punch individuals of your choice, provided they are online through the same forum/webpage you are on, and provided they are in range of your fist(you can get your entire arm through the screen up the shoulder). In the alternative, you can use a handheld weapon(baseball bat, hockey stick, garden claw, etc.) to extend your reach, or use a handgun(no bonus to strike and counts as shooting wild, unless you have a concurrent webcam view of your target) or use it to toss an explosive device through. You can also use your ability to smash the other guy's computer, provided you can pull your arm back before the computer goes offline. You finally have the Power to deal with internet idiots, you are now The Troll Slayer; use your power wisely.

drewkitty ~..~ · Fri May 23, 2014 8:34 pm

taalismn wrote:41. Internet Punch Screen---Congrats; you have found the Holy Grail of the Internet, the Excalibur of the Online Forums. Placing this device over your computer screen allows you to put your fist through your computer screen to punch individuals of your choice, provided they are online through the same forum/webpage you are on, and provided they are in range of your fist(you can get your entire arm through the screen up the shoulder). In the alternative, you can use a handheld weapon(baseball bat, hockey stick, garden claw, etc.) to extend your reach, or use an handgun(no bonus to strike and counts as shooting wild, unless you have a concurrent webcam view of your target) or use it to toss an explosive device through. You can also use your ability to smash the other guy's computer, provided you can pull your arm back before the computer goes offline. You finally have the Power to deal with internet idiots, you are now The Troll Slayer; use your power wisely.

I've wanted one of these a few times in these forums, not naming names.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri May 23, 2014 8:42 pm

I always figured that if EVERYBODY had this ability, society would be destroyed overnight in the biggest bloodbath since the Krell unleashed their own monsters of the id on Altair IV....

The Oh So Amazing Nate · Sat May 24, 2014 12:10 am

taalismn wrote:41. Internet Punch Screen

Drats. I thought this was some sort of cipher breaking card that you placed over the screen and it revealed hidden messages and secrets of the universe. Said message or secret would change depending on what page was loaded.

But your thing is super cool I wish so very much to punch people through the internets

A bsolute B est idea E ver

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Sat May 24, 2014 3:20 am

drewkitty ~..~ wrote:
Zer0 Kay wrote:
drewkitty ~..~ wrote:30> A set of the Bubblegum Crisis RPG and assorted dice.

Hey just cuz we can't find anyone to play it doesn't mean it gets abandoned until the apocalypse. Which books?

And you are looking at it sideways, it says that they survived where the PB gamebooks didn't.

I could have sworn that was a random item too.

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Sat May 24, 2014 3:22 am

The Oh So Amazing Nate wrote:
taalismn wrote:41. Internet Punch Screen

Drats. I thought this was some sort of cipher breaking card that you placed over the screen and it revealed hidden messages and secrets of the universe. Said message or secret would change depending on what page was loaded.

But your thing is super cool I wish so very much to punch people through the internets

A bsolute B est idea E ver

Stop saying the internets, people who say internets need to get punched through the Internet. Besides their a series of tubes that Alaskan congressman or rep said so.

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Sat May 24, 2014 4:02 am

Nightfactory wrote:
Zer0 Kay wrote:Stop saying the internets, people who say internets need to get punched through the Internet.

True, but not as much as those who say "the interwebs". That's even worse.

True enough.

drewkitty ~..~ · Sat May 24, 2014 4:27 am

42. A CD with titled "Lin Minmay's Greatest Hits" in large print. In small print underneath that "sung by Yellow Dancer".

CyCo · Unread post by **CyCo** » Sat May 24, 2014 7:03 am

taalismn wrote:I always figured that if EVERYBODY had this ability, society would be destroyed overnight in the biggest bloodbath since the Krell unleashed their own monsters of the id on Altair IV....

Ohh... Taalismn wins the interwebs today. Clever use of a slightly obscure Sci-Fi movie reference. Well done!! :]

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat May 24, 2014 9:40 am

CyCo wrote:
taalismn wrote:I always figured that if EVERYBODY had this ability, society would be destroyed overnight in the biggest bloodbath since the Krell unleashed their own monsters of the id on Altair IV....

Ohh... Taalismn wins the interwebs today. Clever use of a slightly obscure Sci-Fi movie reference. Well done!! :]

But I suck at 'Trivial Pursuit'.

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Sat May 24, 2014 4:35 pm

drewkitty ~..~ wrote:42. A CD with titled "Lin Minmay's Greatest Hits" in large print. In small print underneath that "sung by Yellow Dancer".

In even smaller print under that it says "spoiler: she's Lancer and she's a guy.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat May 24, 2014 7:39 pm

42. Persian Carpet---A large, ancient, dusty carpet, rolled up. Unrolling it will reveal a skeleton(a Forensics or Anatomy roll will determine it's female) in what appears to be Egyptian jewelry, gold, worth just short of a queen's ransom(some 3d4x1,000 credits between the gold and jewels).

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat May 24, 2014 11:01 pm

44. Pair of Buttocks---A very fine pair of buttocks indeed. About 4d6 minutes after finding these, a Shemarrian war party will show up and inquire rather bluntly if they've found a pair of buttocks. One member of the war party in particular is holding back, standing behind a warmount, hidden from the waist down. If the PCs say that they HAVE found the buttocks, the Shemarrians will demand them back, and let the party leave peacefully if they hand them over. If the party refuses to hand them over, or lies about not having them, the Shemarrians will attack and kick their asses in order to recover the buttocks.

The Oh So Amazing Nate · Sat May 24, 2014 11:31 pm

taalismn wrote:42. Persian Carpet---A large, ancient, dusty carpet, rolled up. Unrolling it will reveal a skeleton(a Forensics or Anatomy roll will determine it's female) in what appears to be Egyptian jewelry, gold, worth just short of a queen's ransom(some 3d4x1,000 credits between the gold and jewels).

If we do fancy magic or psionic type stuff to the skeleton or the jewlery. what will we learn?

The Oh So Amazing Nate · Sat May 24, 2014 11:35 pm

taalismn wrote:44. Pair of Buttocks---A very fine pair of buttocks indeed.Closer inspection will show that the buttocks have been damaged, as there is a medial crack running the length of the buttocks and within the crack there appears to be a hole About 4d6 minutes after finding these, a Shemarrian war party will show up and inquire rather bluntly if they've found a pair of buttocks. One member of the war party in particular is holding back, standing behind a warmount, hidden from the waist down. If the PCs say that they HAVE found the buttocks, the Shemarrians will demand them back, and let the party leave peacefully if they hand them over. If the party refuses to hand them over, or lies about not having them, the Shemarrians will attack and kick their asses in order to recover the buttocks.

lol

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Sun May 25, 2014 11:17 am

Nightfactory wrote:47. Blessed Halter-top of Scarlet Johansen - While wearing this halter-top any female PC will gain the ability of: +10 to Kick Ass of Guys Way Bigger Than You are, +5 to leap, +5 to dodge/parry, +5 to drink venti no-whip iced mocha. Additionally, the user gains: +69% to Look Stunning, +75% to Induce Salivic Response, +90% to Get Someone To Go Down On You in 5 Seconds. If worn by a male PC, he is instantly and permanently transformed into a can of Chef Boyardee Mini Ravioli until the garment is forcibly removed.

Thank goodness not permanently labeled as a pervert.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun May 25, 2014 1:20 pm

The Oh So Amazing Nate wrote:
taalismn wrote:42. Persian Carpet---A large, ancient, dusty carpet, rolled up. Unrolling it will reveal a skeleton(a Forensics or Anatomy roll will determine it's female) in what appears to be Egyptian jewelry, gold, worth just short of a queen's ransom(some 3d4x1,000 credits between the gold and jewels).

If we do fancy magic or psionic type stuff to the skeleton or the jewlery. what will we learn?

"Deliver, C.O.D., to Marc Antony, Roman Navy Flagship. "

drewkitty ~..~ · Sun May 25, 2014 2:25 pm

<plugs a hole.>
46: The Freedom Ring, a ring with a blue diamond, red ruby and white sapphire.
If a person puts this on they will find all mental bonds are bloken, whether the mind control was mystical or mundane in nature. Seeing how his own actions would put others in bondage and be revolted by it.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun May 25, 2014 2:53 pm

48. Infinite Cup of Dixie Dispenser---A plastic dispenser filled with disposable waxed-paper drinking cones, only IT NEVER RUNS OUT OF THEM. The paper cups are fairly fragile(about 1 SDC to crush them in your hand) and they can't be set upright(cone shaped), and they start going flimsy after about 1d4 hours filled with liquid, but one could use them(set upside down) to mark paths.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun May 25, 2014 10:43 pm

50. Lost Luggage---A leather bag with attached tags in some language unfamiliar to anybody(an Eyes of Toth spell will spell out 'Property of M.Z. Zeryeuirwez'), contents of which consists of several dozen garments of both natural and synthetic fiber, possibly pants and/or shirts, only with many more, and longer appendages than would fit humans, a ring with several long indented strips of metal, a plastic bag with various brushes and tubes of various organic substances(none edible), an electronic device that could be a shaver, and, the real find, a universal energy matrix converter with universal plug attachment.

The Oh So Amazing Nate · Sun May 25, 2014 11:02 pm

taalismn wrote:48. Infinite Cup of Dixie Dispenser---A plastic dispenser filled with disposable waxed-paper drinking cones, only IT NEVER RUNS OUT OF THEM. The paper cups are fairly fragile(about 1 SDC to crush them in your hand) and they can't be set upright(cone shaped), and they start going flimsy after about 1d4 hours filled with liquid, but one could use them(set upside down) to mark paths.

Hate to be a nag, but what you're describing is THIS.
That's not a dixie cup. It is a paper drinking cone. Dixie may make and market some of them, but when you say "Dixie Cup" that's not what people will think of.
THIS is a dixie cup.

Regardless, it is a nifty random item and it would be sweet to find one in a game. Well done.

CyCo · Unread post by **CyCo** » Mon May 26, 2014 6:32 am

#52:

An over-shoulder-boulder-holder. Only one part of a tag can be read : 62FFF (!!!). Can be worn by anyone (!!!!), and will automatically dispense boulders, which the wearer can throw 150 feet for 6d6 damage. The wearer can specify either MDC or SDC damage, their choice. If worn by any giant kind (or related), range and damage is doubled. If a critical hit happens, it causes triple damage, but then the over-shoulder-boulder-holder disappears.

The Oh So Amazing Nate · Mon May 26, 2014 8:35 am

Nightfactory wrote:48a. Nate's Amazing Glasses of Dixie Discernment - These ordinary-looking spectacles give the user that ability to instantly detect the difference in a authentic Dixie Cup and a cheap paper drinking cone foisted on the unsuspecting public as an actual Dixie cup. The wearer is also +5 to save vs. Kool-Aid.

Oh YEAH!!

Zer0 Kay · Unread post by **Zer0 Kay** » Mon May 26, 2014 3:15 pm

The Oh So Amazing Nate wrote:
Nightfactory wrote:48a. Nate's Amazing Glasses of Dixie Discernment - These ordinary-looking spectacles give the user that ability to instantly detect the difference in a authentic Dixie Cup and a cheap paper drinking cone foisted on the unsuspecting public as an actual Dixie cup. The wearer is also +5 to save vs. Kool-Aid.

Oh YEAH!!

When did the Coolaid Kid get here... Or is it Macho Man Randy Savage?

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon May 26, 2014 8:50 pm

53. Dispenser of Infinite Dixie---A battered boombox that plays 'Dixie' and ONLY 'Dixie', ad infinitum. The battery system appears to run forever, since it should have run out its batteries long ago.