randomer item table

[The Oh So Amazing Nate]

53. Dispenser of Infinite Dixie---A battered boombox that plays 'Dixie' and ONLY 'Dixie', ad infinitum. The battery system appears to run forever, since it should have run out its batteries long ago.

You merciless miserable B$##$#$d! Lol, I love it. Does anyone think it should be noted in item descriptions whether they are mundane/normal, magical(neutral), or cursed/blessed?

[taalismn]

54. Insta-Heat Gerbil Fritters---Case of 2d4 foil pouches. Each one has a tear strip that, when pulled, causes a chemical reaction that instantly heats up the pouch's contents to a nice toasty temperature, said contents being rodent-based meat-filled pastries. Yum. Might be some guinea pig rolls in there too.

[Zer0 Kay]

53. Dispenser of Infinite Dixie---A battered boombox that plays 'Dixie' and ONLY 'Dixie', ad infinitum. The battery system appears to run forever, since it should have run out its batteries long ago.

You merciless miserable B$##$#$d! Lol, I love it. Does anyone think it should be noted in item descriptions whether they are mundane/normal, magical(neutral), or cursed/blessed?

Nah let the gm decide

[taalismn]

55. Drink Pouch---Foil liquid pouch, printed in festive red and gold, with Spanish writing on it spelling out the words 'Refreshment O'. Anybody actually drinking from it will discover it's filled with stabilized whole blood...O negative. Product of Mexico.

[Zer0 Kay]

56. Infinite dispenser of Dixie Chicks. This item appears to be a boom box. On closer inspection it has a hinged door on one side. When the power switch is moved to the o-n position it starts producing hatchling chickens with Ol' Dixie (name of confederate flag for those who don't want to look it up) dyed onto the feathers. You were hoping it wasn't chickens huh?

[taalismn]

57. Brass Shell Casings---About 1d4x100 brass shell cartridges are spread over the ground. Looks like 7.62 caliber. A metal dealer would pay about 4d6 credits for the brass.

[The Oh So Amazing Nate]

56. Infinite dispenser of Dixie Chicks. This item appears to be a boom box. On closer inspection it has a hinged door on one side. When the power switch is moved to the o-n position it starts producing hatchling chickens with Ol' Dixie (name of confederate flag for those who don't want to look it up). You were hoping it wasn't chickens huh?

Sweeeeeeet. a endless food supply. just let the little buggers grow up a bit then fry'em up real nice like.

[Zer0 Kay]

56. Infinite dispenser of Dixie Chicks. This item appears to be a boom box. On closer inspection it has a hinged door on one side. When the power switch is moved to the o-n position it starts producing hatchling chickens with Ol' Dixie (name of confederate flag for those who don't want to look it up). You were hoping it wasn't chickens huh?

Sweeeeeeet. a endless food supply. just let the little buggers grow up a bit then fry'em up real nice like.

I think that would be cooking southern not southern cooking

[taalismn]

56. Infinite dispenser of Dixie Chicks. This item appears to be a boom box. On closer inspection it has a hinged door on one side. When the power switch is moved to the o-n position it starts producing hatchling chickens with Ol' Dixie (name of confederate flag for those who don't want to look it up). You were hoping it wasn't chickens huh?

Only thing I can say to make it better would be to have it dispense a uniquely Southern chicken breed, but thus far the only things I can find reference to is Northern or Western breeds being unique to North America.

[Zer0 Kay]

56. Infinite dispenser of Dixie Chicks. This item appears to be a boom box. On closer inspection it has a hinged door on one side. When the power switch is moved to the o-n position it starts producing hatchling chickens with Ol' Dixie (name of confederate flag for those who don't want to look it up). You were hoping it wasn't chickens huh?

Only thing I can say to make it better would be to have it dispense a uniquely Southern chicken breed, but thus far the only things I can find reference to is Northern or Western breeds being unique to North America.

No, southern only because of Ol' Dixie, not because the chicks are actually from the south.
Oops just realized I didn't put in that Ol' Dixie was dyed on them.

[taalismn]

58. Chicken's Teeth----A set of dentures. How do you know they're chicken's death? Because Foghorn Leghorn is wearing them("I -SAY-! I -SAY-!"). After 3d6 minutes of being harrangued by this poultry-appearing obvious d-bee, roll under your ME to avoid blasting or basting him out of sheer annoyance.

[Zer0 Kay]

58. Chicken's Teeth----A set of dentures. How do you know they're chicken's death? Because Foghorn Leghorn is wearing them("I -SAY-! I -SAY-!"). After 3d6 minutes of being harrangued by this poultry-appearing obvious d-bee, roll under your ME to avoid blasting or basting him out of sheer annoyance.

59. A diminutive hawk looking d-bee being lectured by a large rooster looking d-bee. After 1/d10 of a minute the vertically challenged d-bird assaults the large restraint challenged d-bird in such a one sided violent trouncing that it would even make Prosek wince and the scientists at lone star drool over what they could do with the little ones DNA.

Who is going to bring up the transvestite bisexual bunny?

[taalismn]

[
Who is going to bring up the transvestite bisexual bunny?

We shall not invoke the Bugs, we shall not bother the Bunny. The Bunny is an avatar of Chaos. He is the chosen Champion of the Prankster. He can kick our collective asses if he so pleases, and utterly humiliate us in the process. Do NOT tease the Bunny.

[Zer0 Kay]

[
Who is going to bring up the transvestite bisexual bunny?

We shall not invoke the Bugs, we shall not bother the Bunny. The Bunny is an avatar of Chaos. He is the chosen Champion of the Prankster. He can kick our collective asses if he so pleases, and utterly humiliate us in the process. Do NOT tease the Bunny.

Fine what about buster or babs or the Warner brothers and their sister dot?

I was by a dollar store a couple days ago that actually has a sign outside that said everything is a dollar, I so wanted to go in and ask but my Ringo Star impersonation has much to be desired.:0)

[taalismn]

60. Censorship Dot---A circular blackness that covers objectionable material/imagery. It floats in the air and will automatically cover the most objectionable thing in its vicinity, according to some arbitrary set of standards that the PCs are not privy to. The area covered can vary from a hand-sized area to an entire large body, according to its 'programming'. Whoever it covers can NOT be seen through its sheer darkness, but can see and speak perfectly fine through it. There is only one dot, and if it discovers anything even more objectionable and needing censorship than what it is currently covering, it will disappear from its current 'host' and appear on the new target. This may give the PCs some inkling of what it's programmed to 'censor'(i.e., only exposed sexual organs, bug-eyes, blue skin, or red-haired people's heads are covered up). If faced with two or more equally censorable targets, the dot will attempt to divide(50% chance) or simply harmlessly explode into nothingness.

[Zer0 Kay]

61- Sing along dot/bouncing ball--- this 1' diameter sphere does absolutely nothing but bounce around following you and changing color to most closely resemble the environment. If there is music it turns black and follows you, bouncing to the beat. If you start singing words appear floating in the air, an entire line/stanza in font large enough to be read 1000' away. The sphere and text assume any color that best contrasts against the background. If people are within 100' and do not sing it will unerringly strike them in the forehead, on the offbeat and flash like a bulb. The floating words will have a line of noticebly smaller, but still readable at 1000', translated text beneath the the original word in the native language of the struck person (even if it's the same language). If the person still doesn't sing it will continue to hit them in the for head on the offbeat getting progressively harder add 1d10 sdc each strike after the first upto 25d10 when it just does 1MD per strike (hope its not a fast beat). On the downside if someone else is singing or singing better than you it will do a sing along for them. At some point you realize you weren't humming when it was bouncing to a beat. This thing is telepathic but does require a verbal sing along.
Translating to your language if needed.

BATTLE OF THE BANDS!!!

[taalismn]

62. Singed Pair of Eyebrows---A fine pair of manly hairy eyebrows, slightly burnt at the ends, and smelling of lighter fluid.

[Zer0 Kay]

62. Singed Pair of Eyebrows---A fine pair of manly hairy eyebrows, slightly burnt at the ends, and smelling of lighter fluid.

Hey... I let those... If they're connected in the middle.

[drewkitty ~..~]

62. Singed Pair of Eyebrows---A fine pair of manly hairy eyebrows, slightly burnt at the ends, and smelling of lighter fluid.

Are they Savage Red eyebrows? (think mythbusters)

[Zer0 Kay]

62. Singed Pair of Eyebrows---A fine pair of manly hairy eyebrows, slightly burnt at the ends, and smelling of lighter fluid.

Are they Savage Red eyebrows? (think mythbusters)

So you saying when he burned them off they were rifted?

[taalismn]

62. Singed Pair of Eyebrows---A fine pair of manly hairy eyebrows, slightly burnt at the ends, and smelling of lighter fluid.

Are they Savage Red eyebrows? (think mythbusters)

So you saying when he burned them off they were rifted?

Depends on how much lighter fluid was poured on the grill.
Had a few neighbors that used so much, we had to worry about fuel-air explosions in the neighborhood...

[dante144]

63 rudimentary cell phone that works. Limited to phone operators in Chi-Town Burbs, Tolkien (before the Fall), Lazlo and a few other major townships or other people that have such phones. %60 chance that the service will be temporarily down. Labeled, "Carlos Dragon Light Industries."

64 m1911 pistol. black with ornate gold engraving, with white horn grips. SDC stats, 4D6 but compatible with certain mdc ammo.

65 toy robot. Yamato brand. High quality.

66 helmet. Looks like a motorcycle/pilot helmet. It draws you to a giant Mecha mostly buried in a hill. Excalibur destroid from the original robotech source book or mecha of your choice.

67 map to ARCHIE 3 underground facility.

[taalismn]

68. Tesseract---A cube, about twelve inches on a side , that, depending how how you hold it and what angle you view it from seems to fade from reality, go transparent, become insubstantial, become harder than diamond, or glow with spectacular prismatic effects. Doing an Object Read on it yields impressions of nearly incomprehensible transcendence and very intense lust. It's a marital aide for supra-dimensional alien intelligences.

[Zer0 Kay]

69- A cube-- some guy tells you is a tesseract. Don't worry its not a marrital aid reguardless of how much energy vibrations it puts off. It is indeed a cube which holds all the necessary elements to create a new universe, the only problem is it is also sentient. Some would call this a galactic... no a cosmic... no universal cube, then again that would make it sound like a cube that could be used for anything. Connecting it to any sort of device makes the device implode into a compact 2" ball, mass is not effected. If you plug it into a structure that is powered it only pulls out the wires. It does nothing to organic circuitry except develop a 3000V static charge, that really isn't that much, usually considered the lowest detectable charge to a humans sense of touch.

[taalismn]

69- A cube-- some guy tells you it is a tesseract. Don't worry its not a marrital aid reguardless of how much energy vinrations it puts off. It is imdeed a cube which holds all the necessary elements to create a new universe, the only problem is it is also sentient. Some would call this a galactic... no a cosmic... no universal cube, then again that would make it sound like a cube that could be uaed for anything. Connecting it to any sort of device makes the device implode into a compact 2" ball, mass is not effected. If you plug it into a structure that is powered it only pulls out the wires. It does nothing to organic circuitry except develop a 3000V static charge, that really isn't that much, usually considered the lowest detectable charge to a humans sense of touch.

"I'm a universe! Really, I am! Oh, I seem small now, but when I get my Big Bang going, I'm going to be freakin' HUGE! Like infinitely huge! So huge, I'll push all this around us out of existence... Just give me a coupla gigawatts and PLOOIE!!! Out with the old and in with the new! Cosmic!.... okay, maybe I shouldn't have admitted that...."

[Zer0 Kay]

69- A cube-- some guy tells you it is a tesseract. Don't worry its not a marrital aid reguardless of how much energy vinrations it puts off. It is imdeed a cube which holds all the necessary elements to create a new universe, the only problem is it is also sentient. Some would call this a galactic... no a cosmic... no universal cube, then again that would make it sound like a cube that could be uaed for anything. Connecting it to any sort of device makes the device implode into a compact 2" ball, mass is not effected. If you plug it into a structure that is powered it only pulls out the wires. It does nothing to organic circuitry except develop a 3000V static charge, that really isn't that much, usually considered the lowest detectable charge to a humans sense of touch.

"I'm a universe! Really, I am! Oh, I seem small now, but when I get my Big Bang going, I'm going to be freakin' HUGE! Like infinitely huge! So huge, I'll push all this around us out of existence... Just give me a coupla gigawatts and PLOOIE!!! Out with the old and in with the new! Cosmic!.... okay, maybe I shouldn't have admitted that...."

Sounds like that one hung out with woody alan or richard lewis.

[CyCo]

#70.

A cube with intricate golden patterns on all 6 surfaces. When found there will be flakes of dried blood on it from the previous owners fingertips all over the device. A careful examination will reveal that the patterns can be manipulated and causes the cube to shift and the faces change patterns.

If found...run! Don't touch it or pick it up.

It's the Hellrazor cube.

"How sweet, fresh meat"

[taalismn]

71. Big X....A big black 'X' spraypainted on the ground. What does it signify? What does it mean? 30% chance of it marking the burial spot of some valuable item(roll again), 30% chance of whoever stands on it looking like a idiot of standing on a big 'X' spraypainted on the ground. 40% chance of whoever stands on it being at ground zero for a full CS missile artillery barrage.

[Zer0 Kay]

72-Big O....A big black 'O' spraypainted on the ground. What does it signify? What does it mean? 30% chance of it marking the spot of an odd encounter (roll again), 30% chance of whoever stands on it looking like a idiot of standing on a big 'O' spraypainted on the ground. 40% chance of whoever stands on it being near other Xs and Os and the Xs happen to be ground zero for a full CS missile artillery barrage don't worry, you'll only take half damage.

[taalismn]

72-Big O....A big black 'O' spraypainted on the ground. What does it signify? What does it mean? 30% chance of it marking the spot of an odd encounter (roll again), 30% chance of whoever stands on it looking like a idiot of standing on a big 'O' spraypainted on the ground. 40% chance of whoever stands on it being near other Xs and Os and the Xs happen to be ground zero for a full CS missile artillery barrage don't worry, you'll only take half damage.

Either that, or a female-sculpt golem with red hair and wearing a black dress comes up and slaps the character, stating blandly, "You're a louse."

[Zer0 Kay]

72-Big O....A big black 'O' spraypainted on the ground. What does it signify? What does it mean? 30% chance of it marking the spot of an odd encounter (roll again), 30% chance of whoever stands on it looking like a idiot of standing on a big 'O' spraypainted on the ground. 40% chance of whoever stands on it being near other Xs and Os and the Xs happen to be ground zero for a full CS missile artillery barrage don't worry, you'll only take half damage.

Either that, or a female-sculpt golem with red hair and wearing a black dress comes up and slaps the character, stating blandly, "You're a louse."

That wouldnt by any chanc be from the anime would it.

[drewkitty ~..~]

72-Big O....A big black 'O' spraypainted on the ground. What does it signify? What does it mean? 30% chance of it marking the spot of an odd encounter (roll again), 30% chance of whoever stands on it looking like a idiot of standing on a big 'O' spraypainted on the ground. 40% chance of whoever stands on it being near other Xs and Os and the Xs happen to be ground zero for a full CS missile artillery barrage don't worry, you'll only take half damage.

Either that, or a female-sculpt golem with red hair and wearing a black dress comes up and slaps the character, stating blandly, "You're a louse."

While Les Mes. Master of the house is playing as background music.

[dante144]

A cube. Of food. Just kidding. It would be more of a rectangle, like a double stack of VHS tapes..(Whats with all the cubes?!)

73: Package of Tolkeen MREs. Wax paper package with mystical logos and cursive or calligraphy. Recommend not more than a few days of it. GMs discretion
+1 to all Attributes +1 Attack Per Melee if they have high PP(16 or higher). Feelings ranging from euphoria to relief may accompany consumption. Pleasure is experienced since it tastes really good.
Effect lasts for three days after Tolkeen food is eaten.

74: Coalition MRE. No special stats. Indigestion quite likely small percentage of food poisoning. GMs discretion.

75: Container of mustard yellow fluid. May be labeled "Caution: Blood Sample." Does 1d6 Mega Damage per Melee round for 4 rounds or 4d6 if a large or unremovable object and the molecular acid can not be countered.

[taalismn]

76. Electric Toothbrush....Fully functional, but close scrutiny will reveal wire bristles and a rather large electric motor and gearing. Anybody not of a megadamage phsyiology, or possessing MDC teeth, will suffer 1 SDC of enamel and gum damage per melee if attempting to use this thing.

[The Oh So Amazing Nate]

76. Electric Toothbrush....Fully functional, but close scrutiny will reveal wire bristles and a rather large electric motor and gearing. Anybody not of a megadamage phsyiology, or possessing MDC teeth, will suffer 1 SDC of enamel and gum damage per melee if attempting to use this thing.

Yes, but does it remove plaque and tartar build up and help prevent gingivitis? Because after all, 1sdc is a small price to pay for a healthy dazzling smile.

[Zer0 Kay]

77- Elric's toothbrush --- Stormbrusher is an old styled noble's toothbrush with an ornate gold handle, boar's hair bristles. The toothbrush magically vibrates at a high frequency and runs for two minutes, once activated, with tactile notifications every 30 seconds. Stormbrusher has a +5 to slay plaque, +3 to slay tartar and grants a +10% to save vs. gingivitis.

[Zer0 Kay]

72-Big O....A big black 'O' spraypainted on the ground. What does it signify? What does it mean? 30% chance of it marking the spot of an odd encounter (roll again), 30% chance of whoever stands on it looking like a idiot of standing on a big 'O' spraypainted on the ground. 40% chance of whoever stands on it being near other Xs and Os and the Xs happen to be ground zero for a full CS missile artillery barrage don't worry, you'll only take half damage.

Either that, or a female-sculpt golem with red hair and wearing a black dress comes up and slaps the character, stating blandly, "You're a louse."

While Les Mes. Master of the house is playing as background music.

OR any female standing on it experiences one.

someone needs to do Le Petit Mort... never mind I will.

78- You experience Le Petit Mort-- a tension comes over you and it increases. Then, from no where, this this little skeletal dude in a robe carrying a small scythe passes you. As as he does, its as if you've summited some peak and all the tension leaves your body as endorphins flood your system.
Some people would pay him to walk back and forth by them a few times.

[The Oh So Amazing Nate]

77- Elric's toothbrush --- Stormbrusher is an old styled noble's toothbrush with an ornate gold handled, boar bristled toothbrush. The toothbrush magically vibrates at a high frequency and runs for two minutes, once activated, with tactile notifications every 30 seconds. Stormbrusher has a +5 to slay plaque, +3 to slay tartar and grants a +10% to save vs. gingivitis.

Awesome!

[taalismn]

76. Electric Toothbrush....Fully functional, but close scrutiny will reveal wire bristles and a rather large electric motor and gearing. Anybody not of a megadamage phsyiology, or possessing MDC teeth, will suffer 1 SDC of enamel and gum damage per melee if attempting to use this thing.

Yes, but does it remove plaque and tartar build up and help prevent gingivitis? Because after all, 1sdc is a small price to pay for a healthy dazzling smile.

It removes teeth. No teeth, no plaque, no gingivitis, no problem. Just stick to soft foods.

[say652]

79: an empty 30 pack of cans a campfire now cooling embers. And a well hidden claymore. -15% detect concealment. Only -5% find traps and mines.

[taalismn]

80. Claymore---A pile of thirty empty beer cans, a claymore sword(nicked and scratched, but with a little regrinding and re-polishing, could probably fetch 100-300 credits) and a torn and bloody kilt.

[Zer0 Kay]

81- A torn and bloody kilt in a pile of 30 bear cans with an old claymore. With a successful sewing skill you mend the kilt and a lot of cleaning gets the bloodstains out.
You get it good enough to sell second hand for 20 credits.

There is a 10% chance that NLCSI (New Lazlo) find it and identify the tartan pattern to belong to the McDuck clan and the blood on it to very wealthy Scrooge McDuck and trace it back to you, who appears to be the guilty party because of the hours of work put into repairing and cleaning it for 20 credits.

[taalismn]

82. Hand Grenade, Coalition States model, Plasma-type--Perfectly normal looking standard-issue CS Army plasma grenade. However, anybody throwing it or dismantling it will discover it's loaded with confetti and a compressed air cylinder to spread it. It's really a gag item produced by a little shop in Splynn that specializes in 'harmless' replica weapons.

[say652]

83.A group of three jugglers. Speaking only in french the jugglers pick pocket the pc's and start juggling their belongings. If attacked the have an autodoge. Ans a speed of 260mph. The flee.

[taalismn]

83.A group of three jugglers. Speaking only in french the jugglers pick pocket the pc's and start juggling their belongings. If attacked the have an autodoge. Ans a speed of 260mph. The flee.

Rogue Carnie Spells from a Ludicrous Mage's 'entourage'?

[say652]

84. 24 cs troops. 7 Enforcer Robots. 10 SAMAS Power Armor. Rmb. Old style. No conversation. Seek and Destroy mission.

[taalismn]

84. 24 cs troops. 7 Enforcer Robots. 10 SAMAS Power Armor. Rmb. Old style. No conversation. Seek and Destroy mission.

85: Cs Troops---24 infantry, 7 Enforcers, 10 SAMAS Power Armors. Old style. No conversation. Seek and Destroy Team, now running fast and shooting over their shoulders behind them without stopping. You really want to stick around to see what's chasing them?

[say652]

86PowerSurge stops and gives the pc's an autograph. And takes a selfie. Then continues his pursuit. Lol

[taalismn]

87: Lemonade Stand(http://palladium-megaverse.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=141605&hilit=lemonade)

[say652]

88. You hear a loud hiyah. A large quite dead T-rex lands before the party. Sliding to a stop. A short red headed and bearded man simply drops out of the sky. He introduces himself as LoneWolf. He then grabs the dead beasts tail and jumps back the direcyion he came from. Any attack is considered a miss and LoneWolfs roundhouse kick simo strike. Deals triple damage direct to hit points. Mdc creatures take times five damage.