Robotech Blooper Reels

[Alpha 11]

Khyron: "The secret to success is having a clear plan. Grell, you will swim out to Minmei's yacht and take the nude photos of Minmei."

Grell:

[taalismn]

Khyron: "The secret to success is having a clear plan. Grell, you will swim out to Minmei's yacht and take the nude photos of Minmei."

Grell:

Breetai: "How goes your plan to cut overhead, Khyron?"
Khyron: "I'm getting rid of a big budget sucker even as we speak."
Geraro: "Dibs on Grel's spare boots!"

[Arnie100]

Grell: "Me?! Why me?!"
Khyron: "Gerao's busy distributing your stuff if you fail to make it back..."
Grell: "It's not fair..."

[SRoss]

Grell: "Me?! Why me?!"
Khyron: "Gerao's busy distributing your stuff if you fail to make it back..."
Grell: "It's not fair..."

Suddenly a Haydonite, loaded with weapons blows in the door and rakes the room with gunfire...

Velt: "THAT'S MY LINE!!!"

[taalismn]

Suddenly a Haydonite, loaded with weapons blows in the door and rakes the room with gunfire...

Velt: "THAT'S MY LINE!!!"

Veidt suddenly finds himself facing Vince Grant.
Veidt's weapons clink 'EMPTY' and 'NO RESERVE POWER LEFT'.
Vince smiles. Levels his rail gun.
Just before being blown away, Veidt resignedly quips: "That's better-"

[Alpha 11]

Khyron: "The secret to success is having a clear plan. Grell, you will swim out to Minmei's yacht and take the nude photos of Minmei."

Grell:

Breetai: "How goes your plan to cut overhead, Khyron?"
Khyron: "I'm getting rid of a big budget sucker even as we speak."
Geraro: "Dibs on Grel's spare boots!"

Grell: "Me?! Why me?!"
Khyron: "Gerao's busy distributing your stuff if you fail to make it back..."
Grell: "It's not fair..."

Grell: "Me?! Why me?!"
Khyron: "Gerao's busy distributing your stuff if you fail to make it back..."
Grell: "It's not fair..."

Suddenly a Haydonite, loaded with weapons blows in the door and rakes the room with gunfire...

Velt: "THAT'S MY LINE!!!"

Suddenly a Haydonite, loaded with weapons blows in the door and rakes the room with gunfire...

Velt: "THAT'S MY LINE!!!"

Veidt suddenly finds himself facing Vince Grant.
Veidt's weapons clink 'EMPTY' and 'NO RESERVE POWER LEFT'.
Vince smiles. Levels his rail gun.
Just before being blown away, Veidt resignedly quips: "That's better-"

[taalismn]

Veidt: "Just as long as we have a procedure for this sort of thing..."

[Alpha 11]

Veidt: "Just as long as we have a procedure for this sort of thing..."

[taalismn]

Charon, Boatman of the Dead: "YOU-"
Veidt: "Don't mind me, I'm here to pick up my backup copy. Then I'm going back."
Veidt-HD: "I'm NOT going back there!!!"

Alternate:
Charon: "This is odd, even for me..."
(He's watching as one Veidt comes through the gates, tags Veidt-HD, who spawns a copy of himself)
Veidt: "You're up."
Veidt Copy: "Why me?"
Veidt: "Yeah, that's what I thought."(He continues on to the ferry, where several other Veidts are aboard, waiting)

[SRoss]

Geraro: "BOSS! LOOK I GOT PICTURES OF SAMMIE IN THE SHOWER!!!"

Khyron: "YOU FOOL!!!"

Suddenly the door explodes behind them...

Sammie:

[Alpha 11]

Charon, Boatman of the Dead: "YOU-"
Veidt: "Don't mind me, I'm here to pick up my backup copy. Then I'm going back."
Veidt-HD: "I'm NOT going back there!!!"

Alternate:
Charon: "This is odd, even for me..."
(He's watching as one Veidt comes through the gates, tags Veidt-HD, who spawns a copy of himself)
Veidt: "You're up."
Veidt Copy: "Why me?"
Veidt: "Yeah, that's what I thought."(He continues on to the ferry, where several other Veidts are aboard, waiting)

Geraro: "BOSS! LOOK I GOT PICTURES OF SAMMIE IN THE SHOWER!!!"

Khyron: "YOU FOOL!!!"

Suddenly the door explodes behind them...

Sammie:

[taalismn]

Geraro: "BOSS! LOOK I GOT PICTURES OF SAMMIE IN THE SHOWER!!!"

Khyron: "YOU FOOL!!!"

Suddenly the door explodes behind them...

Sammie:

Khyron:(pocketing pictures) "It's not even your best side, honey."
Sammie:(stepping down off Geraro's beaten-raw body)"Just get the shower replaced..."

[Arnie100]

Grell: (Hiding camera...) "I knew those would come in handy...and that was for trying to steal MY boots!"

[taalismn]

Grell: (Hiding camera...) "I knew those would come in handy...and that was for trying to steal MY boots!"

(Voice from behind)"The sharp pain you feel in your side is one of your kidneys being cut out of circuit. No sudden moves, or you lose the other one."
Grell:(sweating profusely)"I'm really REALLY sorry about those nude shots, Miss Minmei..."

[Alpha 11]

Geraro: "BOSS! LOOK I GOT PICTURES OF SAMMIE IN THE SHOWER!!!"

Khyron: "YOU FOOL!!!"

Suddenly the door explodes behind them...

Sammie:

Khyron:(pocketing pictures) "It's not even your best side, honey."
Sammie:(stepping down off Geraro's beaten-raw body)"Just get the shower replaced..."

Grell: (Hiding camera...) "I knew those would come in handy...and that was for trying to steal MY boots!"

Grell: (Hiding camera...) "I knew those would come in handy...and that was for trying to steal MY boots!"

(Voice from behind)"The sharp pain you feel in your side is one of your kidneys being cut out of circuit. No sudden moves, or you lose the other one."
Grell:(sweating profusely)"I'm really REALLY sorry about those nude shots, Miss Minmei..."

[Arnie100]

Grell: "It wasn't me...it...it was GERAO!! HE MADE ME DO IT!!"
Minmei: "Where's GERAO!"
Grell: "Khyron's quarter's!!!"
Minmei: "Khyron?! Him too?!"
Grell: "Uhm, yeah...they were both in on it! It wasn't my fault! I was following orders!"

(Suddenly...a loud banging at Khyron's door...)

Minmei: "KHYRON!!!! GERAO!!!"
Sammie: "Not you, too!!!! GERAO!!!!!!!!"
Khyron and Gerao: (Hugging each other) "Protoculture SAVE US!!!!"

(Grell's room...)

Grell: "REVENGE IS MINE!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Ouchie..."

[taalismn]

Grell: "REVENGE IS MINE!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Ouchie..."

(Recorded Minmei Voice): "I haven't forgotten about you, -Grell-"
*BEEP*
Grell stops, then starts sweatdropping as he frantically begins searching for where the voice is coming from..
Grell: "Yep, limpet mines in the closet."
He dives under his bed, to use the mattress as a blast cushion.
*BEEP*
"...mines under the bed too."
He makes a flying leap to that old standby, the bathtub, trusting in its high sides deflecting blast.
*BEEP*
"Oh, bravo, claymore charge in the shower head!"
#BOOM!#


Landlord: "Okay, that jerk in 3B doesn't get his deposit back!"

[Alpha 11]

Grell: "It wasn't me...it...it was GERAO!! HE MADE ME DO IT!!"
Minmei: "Where's GERAO!"
Grell: "Khyron's quarter's!!!"
Minmei: "Khyron?! Him too?!"
Grell: "Uhm, yeah...they were both in on it! It wasn't my fault! I was following orders!"

(Suddenly...a loud banging at Khyron's door...)

Minmei: "KHYRON!!!! GERAO!!!"
Sammie: "Not you, too!!!! GERAO!!!!!!!!"
Khyron and Gerao: (Hugging each other) "Protoculture SAVE US!!!!"

(Grell's room...)

Grell: "REVENGE IS MINE!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Ouchie..."

Grell: "REVENGE IS MINE!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Ouchie..."

(Recorded Minmei Voice): "I haven't forgotten about you, -Grell-"
*BEEP*
Grell stops, then starts sweatdropping as he frantically begins searching for where the voice is coming from..
Grell: "Yep, limpet mines in the closet."
He dives under his bed, to use the mattress as a blast cushion.
*BEEP*
"...mines under the bed too."
He makes a flying leap to that old standby, the bathtub, trusting in its high sides deflecting blast.
*BEEP*
"Oh, bravo, claymore charge in the shower head!"
#BOOM!#


Landlord: "Okay, that jerk in 3B doesn't get his deposit back!"

[taalismn]

Minmei:"It's NICE to have stealth mecha on speed-dial for those explosives-planting jobs."
Tachikoma:(fading in) "Just remember; you're only RENTING us!"

[Alpha 11]

Minmei:"It's NICE to have stealth mecha on speed-dial for those explosives-planting jobs."
Tachikoma:(fading in) "Just remember; you're only RENTING us!"

Love the Tachikomas.

[taalismn]

Minmei's paying them off with natural oil.

[Alpha 11]

Minmei's paying them off with natural oil.

Ya, that would do it.

[taalismn]

Signs Your First Contact MIssion is About to Get TOO Interesting:

Translations:
"Which of your bodily orifices are used in reproduction?"

"We're here to serve man."

"Which of your species can we have who will not be missed?"

"Really, who are your REAL leaders?"

"What is your military strength?"

"How fast do you breed?"

"How do you taste?"

"You insult us by existing!"

"Can we have one of your appendages?"

"Can we have your women?"

"Kneel before your new gods!"

"Can you take off your skin?"

"You realize you're too ugly to live?"

[SRoss]

Signs Your First Contact MIssion is About to Get TOO Interesting:

Translations:
"Which of your bodily orifices are used in reproduction?"

"We're here to serve man."

"Which of your species can we have who will not be missed?"

"Really, who are your REAL leaders?"

"What is your military strength?"

"How fast do you breed?"

"How do you taste?"

"You insult us by existing!"

"Can we have one of your appendages?"

"Can we have your women?"

"Kneel before your new gods!"

"Can you take off your skin?"

"You realize you're too ugly to live?"

"What wine are you best served with?"

"Ah yes, Lisa told us to expect you." (Edwards only)

"We've heard your broadcasts... Your destruction would be a public service."

"You must become one with the creator."

"Our leader must become one with the being you call Minmei ... Umm, physically..."

"Peace? THIS IS SPARTA!!!" (Kicks Kyle into the bottomless well)

[taalismn]

"Thank you for coming. It saves us the expense of hunting you down."

"We greet you with open arms and hungry appetites."

"Ah, you're next on the list."

"Where's your god now?"

"So...what percentage of your population is capable of sustained heavy labor?"

"Give up now and avoid the rush."

"Glad you're here. Our last host species is just about extinct."

[glitterboy2098]

"you mean your race cannot remove their own heads?"

[taalismn]

Then there's the classic:
(Unheard by the humans)
"Let's approach them with our gunports open as a sign of friendship and respect!"

[SRoss]

"AHHH! THEY LOOK LIKE THE ANNIE! SHOOT! SHOOT!"

"Ah, you must be the egg host Sammie promised." (Minmei only)

"Why yes we ALL look like Lisa. Let's talk about it over dinner."

(Sound of cloaked Predator watching the party)

"Purple."

"Green."

[taalismn]

"

"Purple."

"Green."

Ah, the Drazi...they were generally played for laughs, but when they were in the Rangers, they were magnificently self-sacrificing.

"What is the airspeed of a cardinal carrying a coconut?"

[Alpha 11]

Signs Your First Contact MIssion is About to Get TOO Interesting:

Translations:
"Which of your bodily orifices are used in reproduction?"

"We're here to serve man."

"Which of your species can we have who will not be missed?"

"Really, who are your REAL leaders?"

"What is your military strength?"

"How fast do you breed?"

"How do you taste?"

"You insult us by existing!"

"Can we have one of your appendages?"

"Can we have your women?"

"Kneel before your new gods!"

"Can you take off your skin?"

"You realize you're too ugly to live?"

Signs Your First Contact MIssion is About to Get TOO Interesting:

Translations:
"Which of your bodily orifices are used in reproduction?"

"We're here to serve man."

"Which of your species can we have who will not be missed?"

"Really, who are your REAL leaders?"

"What is your military strength?"

"How fast do you breed?"

"How do you taste?"

"You insult us by existing!"

"Can we have one of your appendages?"

"Can we have your women?"

"Kneel before your new gods!"

"Can you take off your skin?"

"You realize you're too ugly to live?"

"What wine are you best served with?"

"Ah yes, Lisa told us to expect you." (Edwards only)

"We've heard your broadcasts... Your destruction would be a public service."

"You must become one with the creator."

"Our leader must become one with the being you call Minmei ... Umm, physically..."

"Peace? THIS IS SPARTA!!!" (Kicks Kyle into the bottomless well)

"Thank you for coming. It saves us the expense of hunting you down."

"We greet you with open arms and hungry appetites."

"Ah, you're next on the list."

"Where's your god now?"

"So...what percentage of your population is capable of sustained heavy labor?"

"Give up now and avoid the rush."

"Glad you're here. Our last host species is just about extinct."

"you mean your race cannot remove their own heads?"

Then there's the classic:
(Unheard by the humans)
"Let's approach them with our gunports open as a sign of friendship and respect!"

B5.

"AHHH! THEY LOOK LIKE THE ANNIE! SHOOT! SHOOT!"

"Ah, you must be the egg host Sammie promised." (Minmei only)

"Why yes we ALL look like Lisa. Let's talk about it over dinner."

(Sound of cloaked Predator watching the party)

"Purple."

"Green."

"

"Purple."

"Green."

Ah, the Drazi...they were generally played for laughs, but when they were in the Rangers, they were magnificently self-sacrificing.

"What is the airspeed of a cardinal carrying a coconut?"

[taalismn]

"Here; have a gift of our technology. Just don't open it."

"Help us defeat our sworn enemies. No, you can't independentally question the other side; just take it from us; they're evil."

"Naturally, as a sign of trust from you, we expect you to totally disband your military forces."

"Mind if we park our massive starships over your major cities? More convenient that way."

"Say, how much radiation can your species tolerate?"

[SRoss]

"I, AM, YOUR, SOLDIER... (or SERVANT)" (Said by a rolling pepper pot)

(The sound of the projectile's top ominously unscrewing)

"We come in peace."

"Klaatoo! Verata! Nik<Cough><Cough>!"

[taalismn]

"We come to solve all your problems and not ask for anything in return!"

"Send us your greatest champion!"

[SRoss]

"We seek to become one with the blond chick, with the puffy hair."

[Arnie100]

"We seek to become one with the blond chick, with the puffy hair."

Dana: "Oh; HELL, no!! (Pulls out the biggest, meanest-looking gatling cannon out from nowhere and points it at the now-terrified aliens....)"
Alien #1: "Uhm...wrong blond chick with the puffy hair!"
Alien #2: "We'll go home, now...'bye!"

[taalismn]

"We seek to become one with the blond chick, with the puffy hair."

Dana: "Oh; HELL, no!! (Pulls out the biggest, meanest-looking gatling cannon out from nowhere and points it at the now-terrified aliens....)"
Alien #1: "Uhm...wrong blond chick with the puffy hair!"
Alien #2: "We'll go home, now...'bye!"

If only it was that easy...
(Sound of slide on shotgun working)
Alien: "...ah, just passing through, honest! We'll be getting on our way to...ah , Messier 83, right!"

[Alpha 11]

"Here; have a gift of our technology. Just don't open it."

"Help us defeat our sworn enemies. No, you can't independentally question the other side; just take it from us; they're evil."

"Naturally, as a sign of trust from you, we expect you to totally disband your military forces."

"Mind if we park our massive starships over your major cities? More convenient that way."

"Say, how much radiation can your species tolerate?"

"I, AM, YOUR, SOLDIER... (or SERVANT)" (Said by a rolling pepper pot)

(The sound of the projectile's top ominously unscrewing)

"We come in peace."

"Klaatoo! Verata! Nik<Cough><Cough>!"

"We come to solve all your problems and not ask for anything in return!"

"Send us your greatest champion!"

"We seek to become one with the blond chick, with the puffy hair."

"We seek to become one with the blond chick, with the puffy hair."

Dana: "Oh; HELL, no!! (Pulls out the biggest, meanest-looking gatling cannon out from nowhere and points it at the now-terrified aliens....)"
Alien #1: "Uhm...wrong blond chick with the puffy hair!"
Alien #2: "We'll go home, now...'bye!"

"We seek to become one with the blond chick, with the puffy hair."

Dana: "Oh; HELL, no!! (Pulls out the biggest, meanest-looking gatling cannon out from nowhere and points it at the now-terrified aliens....)"
Alien #1: "Uhm...wrong blond chick with the puffy hair!"
Alien #2: "We'll go home, now...'bye!"

If only it was that easy...
(Sound of slide on shotgun working)
Alien: "...ah, just passing through, honest! We'll be getting on our way to...ah , Messier 83, right!"

[taalismn]

Alien2: "Not Messier 83! That's still arguably visible with the naked eye from Earth! We're ah, going farther out that that."
Alien: "LOTS farther. Now put away the shotgun, monkey-boy! We can find our own way out!"

[SRoss]

Alien2: "Not Messier 83! That's still arguably visible with the naked eye from Earth! We're ah, going farther out that that."
Alien: "LOTS farther. Now put away the shotgun, monkey-boy! We can find our own way out!"

Dana: "Monkey-BOY!!!"

(Sounds gratuitous gunfire)

[taalismn]

Alien: "I TOLD YOU THOSE KNOBS WEREN'T FOR RECEPTION FINE-TUNING!!!!"

[Alpha 11]

Alien2: "Not Messier 83! That's still arguably visible with the naked eye from Earth! We're ah, going farther out that that."
Alien: "LOTS farther. Now put away the shotgun, monkey-boy! We can find our own way out!"

Alien2: "Not Messier 83! That's still arguably visible with the naked eye from Earth! We're ah, going farther out that that."
Alien: "LOTS farther. Now put away the shotgun, monkey-boy! We can find our own way out!"

Dana: "Monkey-BOY!!!"

(Sounds gratuitous gunfire)

Alien: "I TOLD YOU THOSE KNOBS WEREN'T FOR RECEPTION FINE-TUNING!!!!"

[taalismn]

(Dark room in the RM Mothership)
Karno: "Now I KNOW you're not Musica! Hers aren't as big and-"
Dana: "...grrrrrr....."
Bowie: " I'll forgo defending my fiance's honor because there's not going to enough of you left to take vengeance on. Dana's fairly touchy about being touched like that..."
Angelo: "Not if I get him first."

[Alpha 11]

(Dark room in the RM Mothership)
Karno: "Now I KNOW you're not Musica! Hers aren't as big and-"
Dana: "...grrrrrr....."
Bowie: " I'll forgo defending my fiance's honor because there's not going to enough of you left to take vengeance on. Dana's fairly touchy about being touched like that..."
Angelo: "Not if I get him first."

[SRoss]

Grell: (Banging desperately on the door to the Command Pod) "SIR! PLEASE OPEN UP!!! THE SHIP'S BEEN BOARDED BY ZOMBIES!!! THE GUNS AREN'T WORKING! THE MEN ARE FIGHTING DESPERATE HAND TO HAND!!!"

Meanwhile, in the sealed Command Pod...

Khyron: "More champagne dear?"

Sammie: "Why thank you."

[SRoss]

Signs Your First Contact MIssion is About to Get TOO Interesting:

"Brrraaaaaiiiinsssss"

[taalismn]

"Zombies...why the hell does it always have to be zombies?..."

[Arnie100]

"Zombies...why the hell does it always have to be zombies?..."

Annie: "Ewwwwww...(pulls out the biggest, meanest-looking chainsaw and revs it up)"
Sara: "Mind if I join you?"
Zombie: "Uh-oh..."

[taalismn]

"Zombies...why the hell does it always have to be zombies?..."

Annie: "Ewwwwww...(pulls out the biggest, meanest-looking chainsaw and revs it up)"
Sara: "Mind if I join you?"
Zombie: "Uh-oh..."

I'm really regreting not having had the time this week to finish my 'Vulture' humanoid...it was a Eugenic Hero template made up using the Powers Unlimited Eugenic Heroes charts, to depict a human optimized for fighting the undead in much the same way Rifts psi-stalkers evolved to prey on supernatural critters. Vultures/Scavs were basicaly superpowered humans able to munch safely on zombie(in fact, it was their prefered food...they could only digest rotted/well-aged meat).

[guardiandashi]

"Zombies...why the hell does it always have to be zombies?..."

Annie: "Ewwwwww...(pulls out the biggest, meanest-looking chainsaw and revs it up)"
Sara: "Mind if I join you?"
Zombie: "Uh-oh..."

I'm really regreting not having had the time this week to finish my 'Vulture' humanoid...it was a Eugenic Hero template made up using the Powers Unlimited Eugenic Heroes charts, to depict a human optimized for fighting the undead in much the same way Rifts psi-stalkers evolved to prey on supernatural critters. Vultures/Scavs were basicaly superpowered humans able to munch safely on zombie(in fact, it was their prefered food...they could only digest rotted/well-aged meat).

while technically Sarah could use a chainsaw, she would probably prefer a chain sword or vibroblade.....

[taalismn]

That's why I fitted my NeShemarrian ScreamQueen cyborgs with mecha-gami chainsaw arms...makes pruning zombies so much more FUN.