Robotech Blooper Reels

[SRoss]

"What happens on the bridge, stays on the bridge."

"Engineering here to the bridge. You know you left your comm on?"

Captain Grant: "Good, then you already have an ensign on his way up to sterilize my chair."

[taalismn]

[

Captain Grant: "Good, then you already have an ensign on his way up to sterilize my chair."

"Actually, sir, I was thinking of just venting the entire bridge to vacuum."

[SRoss]

[

Captain Grant: "Good, then you already have an ensign on his way up to sterilize my chair."

"Actually, sir, I was thinking of just venting the entire bridge to vacuum."

A huge Green Martian towers over Louie...

"You will NOT be jettisoning the Jedak into space."

[taalismn]

[

Captain Grant: "Good, then you already have an ensign on his way up to sterilize my chair."

"Actually, sir, I was thinking of just venting the entire bridge to vacuum."

A huge Green Martian towers over Louie...

"You will NOT be jettisoning the Jedak into space."

Louie's not an ensign...Unless we're talking Louie Belinski, Disposable Generic Starship Ensign From Central Casting.

[SRoss]

[

Captain Grant: "Good, then you already have an ensign on his way up to sterilize my chair."

"Actually, sir, I was thinking of just venting the entire bridge to vacuum."

A huge Green Martian towers over Louie...

"You will NOT be jettisoning the Jedak into space."

Louie's not an ensign...Unless we're talking Louie Belinski, Disposable Generic Starship Ensign From Central Casting.

Yep that's the one. If you need slime cleaned up or xenomorph bait Louie's your guy.

[taalismn]

Vince Grant:(seeing the BSB corporal gearing up in full Hazmat suit) "Isn't that a little....extreme?"
BSB Corporal: "Depends. We find that most people regard a 'sexual aftermath area sanitization' job to require much more than a simple bleach wipedown. Most people want a THOROUGH job done beyond just the surface cleaning. They want something more akin to an exorcism. So we gear up to assure them we're doing a SERIOUS cleaning job."
VG: "So you're doing a placebo exorcism on my chair?"
BSBC: "I happen to have a extra religious training, and both papal and rabbinical permission to perform exorcism and banishment rites, just in case. Plus I identified bits of Belinski in the mess; I dunno if that's related to your original problem, but it's an indicator that there's something worse about the situation, so best to be prepared."

[SRoss]

Lisa: (Patting the Challot hard on the back of the neck, trying to get back Belinski's leg) "Out out come on let it go!"

[taalismn]

Lisa: (Patting the Challot hard on the back of the neck, trying to get back Belinski's leg) "Out out come on let it go!"

"Apparently the secret projects to create genetically engineered supersoldiers of our own have born fruit. Apparently Belinksi's been crossed with lizard genes, if his detaching his own leg to escape a predator is any indication."

[SRoss]

Lisa: (Patting the Challot hard on the back of the neck, trying to get back Belinski's leg) "Out out come on let it go!"

"Apparently the secret projects to create genetically engineered supersoldiers of our own have born fruit. Apparently Belinksi's been crossed with lizard genes, if his detaching his own leg to escape a predator is any indication."

"Actually, I think Belinski's leg is the only part of him the Challot hasn't swallowed yet. Pull on that and it might regurgitate the rest of him."

[taalismn]

"Do we really want a regurgitated ensign who's none too good at dodging?"
"If you're like to fill out all the paperwork for 'personnel devoured on duty'..."
"BAD MARTY! COUGH UP THE ENSIGN!!!!"

[batlchip]

Meanwhile on the bridge of the SDF -1....
Glovel: It smells like old lady pants in here.

[taalismn]

Meanwhile on the bridge of the SDF -1....
Glovel: It smells like old lady pants in here.

"Maistroff, how many times have we told you not to bring your mother to the bridge just to prove you actually WORK here?"

[batlchip]

Meanwhile on the bridge of the SDF -1....
Glovel: It smells like old lady pants in here.

"Maistroff, how many times have we told you not to bring your mother to the bridge just to prove you actually WORK here?"

But, that's not my mother.It's my sister.

[taalismn]

Meanwhile on the bridge of the SDF -1....
Glovel: It smells like old lady pants in here.

"Maistroff, how many times have we told you not to bring your mother to the bridge just to prove you actually WORK here?"

But, that's not my mother.It's my sister.

"You family doesn't age well, does it?"


Okay, not entirely fair; in the EXCELLENT Robotech Visions: Fall of the Southern Cross web story, Maistroff seems to age quite elegantly...

[batlchip]

Meanwhile on the bridge of the SDF -1....
Glovel: It smells like old lady pants in here.

"Maistroff, how many times have we told you not to bring your mother to the bridge just to prove you actually WORK here?"

But, that's not my mother.It's my sister.

"You family doesn't age well, does it?"


Okay, not entirely fair; in the EXCELLENT Robotech Visions: Fall of the Southern Cross web story, Maistroff seems to age quite elegantly...

At least he's never been called an old sour puss.

[taalismn]

[
At least he's never been called an old sour puss.

Not to his face.
Behind his back, it's more "OL' stick up his a-"

[Alpha 11]

Meanwhile on the bridge of the SDF -1....
Glovel: It smells like old lady pants in here.

Meanwhile on the bridge of the SDF -1....
Glovel: It smells like old lady pants in here.

"Maistroff, how many times have we told you not to bring your mother to the bridge just to prove you actually WORK here?"

Meanwhile on the bridge of the SDF -1....
Glovel: It smells like old lady pants in here.

"Maistroff, how many times have we told you not to bring your mother to the bridge just to prove you actually WORK here?"

But, that's not my mother.It's my sister.

Wow.

Meanwhile on the bridge of the SDF -1....
Glovel: It smells like old lady pants in here.

"Maistroff, how many times have we told you not to bring your mother to the bridge just to prove you actually WORK here?"

But, that's not my mother.It's my sister.

"You family doesn't age well, does it?"


Okay, not entirely fair; in the EXCELLENT Robotech Visions: Fall of the Southern Cross web story, Maistroff seems to age quite elegantly...

LOVE Robotech Visions: Fall of the Southern Cross. One of the best of the Robotech stuff still out there.

Meanwhile on the bridge of the SDF -1....
Glovel: It smells like old lady pants in here.

"Maistroff, how many times have we told you not to bring your mother to the bridge just to prove you actually WORK here?"

But, that's not my mother.It's my sister.

"You family doesn't age well, does it?"


Okay, not entirely fair; in the EXCELLENT Robotech Visions: Fall of the Southern Cross web story, Maistroff seems to age quite elegantly...

At least he's never been called an old sour puss.

[
At least he's never been called an old sour puss.

Not to his face.
Behind his back, it's more "OL' stick up his a-"

[taalismn]

"Gentlemen, you know I can hear you?..... You also know I know American Sign Language?"

[taalismn]

(Lunk leads Scott to where he's got a repaired Alpha Fighter hidden in a hangar)
Scott: "My god! Is that what I think it is?!"
Lunk: "Yeah, I've been repairing it for a whi- Oh, THAT? Yeah, that's my full-size to-scale model of the Millennium Falcon...I kinda had to have something to do when I couldn't find parts for the Alpha."

[Arnie100]

(Lunk leads Scott to where he's got a repaired Alpha Fighter hidden in a hangar)
Scott: "My god! Is that what I think it is?!"
Lunk: "Yeah, I've been repairing it for a whi- Oh, THAT? Yeah, that's my full-size to-scale model of the Millennium Falcon...I kinda had to have something to do when I couldn't find parts for the Alpha."

Rand: "Yes! I've always wanted to see the inside of this thing!!"
Lunk: "Rand, NO! That's just plastic and leg -- !!"

(Sound of boarding ramp collapsing, followed by the rest of the model)

Rand: "Did I......did I do that?"
Lunk:

[taalismn]

[

Rand: "Yes! I've always wanted to see the inside of this thing!!"
Lunk: "Rand, NO! That's just plastic and leg -- !!"

(Sound of boarding ramp collapsing, followed by the rest of the model)

Rand: "Did I......did I do that?"
Lunk:

Scott: "The bitter irony of it is that's STILL more stoutly constructed than our Horizonts."

[Alpha 11]

"Gentlemen, you know I can hear you?..... You also know I know American Sign Language?"

(Lunk leads Scott to where he's got a repaired Alpha Fighter hidden in a hangar)
Scott: "My god! Is that what I think it is?!"
Lunk: "Yeah, I've been repairing it for a whi- Oh, THAT? Yeah, that's my full-size to-scale model of the Millennium Falcon...I kinda had to have something to do when I couldn't find parts for the Alpha."

(Lunk leads Scott to where he's got a repaired Alpha Fighter hidden in a hangar)
Scott: "My god! Is that what I think it is?!"
Lunk: "Yeah, I've been repairing it for a whi- Oh, THAT? Yeah, that's my full-size to-scale model of the Millennium Falcon...I kinda had to have something to do when I couldn't find parts for the Alpha."

Rand: "Yes! I've always wanted to see the inside of this thing!!"
Lunk: "Rand, NO! That's just plastic and leg -- !!"

(Sound of boarding ramp collapsing, followed by the rest of the model)

Rand: "Did I......did I do that?"
Lunk:

[

Rand: "Yes! I've always wanted to see the inside of this thing!!"
Lunk: "Rand, NO! That's just plastic and leg -- !!"

(Sound of boarding ramp collapsing, followed by the rest of the model)

Rand: "Did I......did I do that?"
Lunk:

Scott: "The bitter irony of it is that's STILL more stoutly constructed than our Horizonts."

[taalismn]

<"Doctor Lang, please report to the bridge IMMEDIATELY, Bridge emergency!">
"Cam as fast as I could! What's the emergency?!"
"Thank god you came! Captain's electric massage chair got stuck in the 'on' mode again!"
",,,,"
"...We're talking risk of SERIOUS whiplash here."

[SRoss]

<"Doctor Lang, please report to the bridge IMMEDIATELY, Bridge emergency!">
"Cam as fast as I could! What's the emergency?!"
"Thank god you came! Captain's electric massage chair got stuck in the 'on' mode again!"
",,,,"
"...We're talking risk of SERIOUS whiplash here."

Maistroff: (Vibrating on the Captain's Chair) "OOoooooooohhhhhhh baby! If this was Canada, I'd make you my bride!!!"

[Arnie100]

SDF-1 Roomba #1: <<NUH UH...NO WAY...I AM NOT CLEANING THAT CHAIR!!>>
SDF-1 Roomba #2: <<AGREED. BEST TO DESTROY SAID CHAIR. CAPTAIN WILL NOT MISS IT.>>

[taalismn]

Zior Prime's on his date with Nova:
Nova: (leaning in close) "So....what do you say we get...closer...?"
Robotech Master VO(inside Zor Prime's head): <<"Forget the plans, Zor Prime, go for the gold! And keep your eyes open through the whole thing!">>
Yeah, they may be rulers of an empire, but they're still dirty old men....

[Arnie100]

(On board the Masters' ship...)

Robotech Master #1: (Holding injured privates...) "Okay...never ride along with someone when they get injured!"
Robotech Master #2: "Especially with such a sensitive area at risk..."
Robotech Master #3: "Okay...Zor...next time take it slow...that was really painful!"

(Meanwhile at 15th ATAC barracks...)

Zor: "Never make Nova angry...ouchie..." (Holding sensitive area...)
Angelo: "Just figured that out?"

[taalismn]

Robotech Master: "Okay, whose bright idea was it to put the transmitter array in Zor Prime's testicles?!"

[SRoss]

Robotech Master: "Okay, whose bright idea was it to put the transmitter array in Zor Prime's testicles?!"

Everyone steps back and a Clone Master sheepishly raises his hand...

[taalismn]

Dana: "OH GOD, NOVA! YOU -NEUTERED- HIM?!"
Nova: "Hey, be cool, chill out...no, I said I was TEMPTED to neuter him."
Dana: "...that's the last time I hand a prisoner over or back to you..."

GMP Surveillance Expert: "...hold it, guys...cancel the vasectomy..."
Nova's GMP 'big brothers': "....aw nuts..."

[Alpha 11]

<"Doctor Lang, please report to the bridge IMMEDIATELY, Bridge emergency!">
"Cam as fast as I could! What's the emergency?!"
"Thank god you came! Captain's electric massage chair got stuck in the 'on' mode again!"
",,,,"
"...We're talking risk of SERIOUS whiplash here."

<"Doctor Lang, please report to the bridge IMMEDIATELY, Bridge emergency!">
"Cam as fast as I could! What's the emergency?!"
"Thank god you came! Captain's electric massage chair got stuck in the 'on' mode again!"
",,,,"
"...We're talking risk of SERIOUS whiplash here."

Maistroff: (Vibrating on the Captain's Chair) "OOoooooooohhhhhhh baby! If this was Canada, I'd make you my bride!!!"

SDF-1 Roomba #1: <<NUH UH...NO WAY...I AM NOT CLEANING THAT CHAIR!!>>
SDF-1 Roomba #2: <<AGREED. BEST TO DESTROY SAID CHAIR. CAPTAIN WILL NOT MISS IT.>>

I so agree with them there!

Zior Prime's on his date with Nova:
Nova: (leaning in close) "So....what do you say we get...closer...?"
Robotech Master VO(inside Zor Prime's head): <<"Forget the plans, Zor Prime, go for the gold! And keep your eyes open through the whole thing!">>
Yeah, they may be rulers of an empire, but they're still dirty old men....

(On board the Masters' ship...)

Robotech Master #1: (Holding injured privates...) "Okay...never ride along with someone when they get injured!"
Robotech Master #2: "Especially with such a sensitive area at risk..."
Robotech Master #3: "Okay...Zor...next time take it slow...that was really painful!"

(Meanwhile at 15th ATAC barracks...)

Zor: "Never make Nova angry...ouchie..." (Holding sensitive area...)
Angelo: "Just figured that out?"

[Alpha 11]

Robotech Master: "Okay, whose bright idea was it to put the transmitter array in Zor Prime's testicles?!"

Robotech Master: "Okay, whose bright idea was it to put the transmitter array in Zor Prime's testicles?!"

Everyone steps back and a Clone Master sheepishly raises his hand...

Dana: "OH GOD, NOVA! YOU -NEUTERED- HIM?!"
Nova: "Hey, be cool, chill out...no, I said I was TEMPTED to neuter him."
Dana: "...that's the last time I hand a prisoner over or back to you..."

GMP Surveillance Expert: "...hold it, guys...cancel the vasectomy..."
Nova's GMP 'big brothers': "....aw nuts..."

Good ones!

[taalismn]

Musica:"Hello, Men's Health Clinic? I'd like to schedule a vasectomy..."
(somewhere aboard the RM Mothership, Karno gets a sudden chill...)

[Arnie100]

"I have a feeling the muses are trying to tell us something..."
"What's that?"
"Keep our hands where they can see them..."

[taalismn]

"You're right, Musica; learning how to operate a crew-served machine gun IS a good sisterly activity."
""Yes, you load, Allegra spots, I shoot. Then we take turns."

[SRoss]

"Who'd have thought the Muses could order a Ma - Duce from Amazon.com?"

"Sisters! Remind me we must thank Zor for getting us Dana's username and password."

[Arnie100]

"I thought they could learn that from Youtube?"
"And miss the opportunity to use Dana's username and password?"
"Oh, right."

(15th ATAC Barracks...)

Dana: "DAMMIT!! Someone's hacked my Amazon account!"

[taalismn]

"Hello, Dana Sterling? We're from the ATF...we're here to inquire about a few recent purchases you made online..."
"I didn't think sexy lingerie was illegal-"
"ATF, ma'am. Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms. Unless your silky darlings were made of SEMTEX, we wouldn't be here about that..."

[Arnie100]

(Meanwhile, GMP HQ)

Nova: (Counting blocks of SEMTEX) "I have to admit it, having Dana's account and password is proving quite beneficial..."

[taalismn]

(Meanwhile, GMP HQ)

Nova: (Counting blocks of SEMTEX) "I have to admit it, having Dana's account and password is proving quite beneficial..."

So, in the GMP, 'Dana Sterling" is really used as a catch-all term for false-front money- and equipment-laundering operations meant for plausible deniability mission accounting?
Need to acquire a speedboat for a covert gunrunning sting? Use the 'Dana Sterling account'.
Need to assemble a stockpile of guns for a black market sting? Dana Sterling account.
Pay off an informant? Dana Sterling account.
Deposit on some black market nuclear material? Right...Dana Sterling account.

[SRoss]

(Meanwhile, GMP HQ)

Nova: (Counting blocks of SEMTEX) "I have to admit it, having Dana's account and password is proving quite beneficial..."

So, in the GMP, 'Dana Sterling" is really used as a catch-all term for false-front money- and equipment-laundering operations meant for plausible deniability mission accounting?
Need to acquire a speedboat for a covert gunrunning sting? Use the 'Dana Sterling account'.
Need to assemble a stockpile of guns for a black market sting? Dana Sterling account.
Pay off an informant? Dana Sterling account.
Deposit on some black market nuclear material? Right...Dana Sterling account.

Mirya peels in, in a Audi Vayron...

Dana: "NOT YOU TOO MA!!!"

[taalismn]

"Wanna mean we're supposed to put money BACK into the account?"
"This isn't the 'magic fridge'."

[Alpha 11]

Musica:"Hello, Men's Health Clinic? I'd like to schedule a vasectomy..."
(somewhere aboard the RM Mothership, Karno gets a sudden chill...)

"I have a feeling the muses are trying to tell us something..."
"What's that?"
"Keep our hands where they can see them..."

"You're right, Musica; learning how to operate a crew-served machine gun IS a good sisterly activity."
""Yes, you load, Allegra spots, I shoot. Then we take turns."

"Who'd have thought the Muses could order a Ma - Duce from Amazon.com?"

"Sisters! Remind me we must thank Zor for getting us Dana's username and password."

"I thought they could learn that from Youtube?"
"And miss the opportunity to use Dana's username and password?"
"Oh, right."

(15th ATAC Barracks...)

Dana: "DAMMIT!! Someone's hacked my Amazon account!"

"Hello, Dana Sterling? We're from the ATF...we're here to inquire about a few recent purchases you made online..."
"I didn't think sexy lingerie was illegal-"
"ATF, ma'am. Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms. Unless your silky darlings were made of SEMTEX, we wouldn't be here about that..."

(Meanwhile, GMP HQ)

Nova: (Counting blocks of SEMTEX) "I have to admit it, having Dana's account and password is proving quite beneficial..."

[Alpha 11]

(Meanwhile, GMP HQ)

Nova: (Counting blocks of SEMTEX) "I have to admit it, having Dana's account and password is proving quite beneficial..."

So, in the GMP, 'Dana Sterling" is really used as a catch-all term for false-front money- and equipment-laundering operations meant for plausible deniability mission accounting?
Need to acquire a speedboat for a covert gunrunning sting? Use the 'Dana Sterling account'.
Need to assemble a stockpile of guns for a black market sting? Dana Sterling account.
Pay off an informant? Dana Sterling account.
Deposit on some black market nuclear material? Right...Dana Sterling account.

(Meanwhile, GMP HQ)

Nova: (Counting blocks of SEMTEX) "I have to admit it, having Dana's account and password is proving quite beneficial..."

So, in the GMP, 'Dana Sterling" is really used as a catch-all term for false-front money- and equipment-laundering operations meant for plausible deniability mission accounting?
Need to acquire a speedboat for a covert gunrunning sting? Use the 'Dana Sterling account'.
Need to assemble a stockpile of guns for a black market sting? Dana Sterling account.
Pay off an informant? Dana Sterling account.
Deposit on some black market nuclear material? Right...Dana Sterling account.

Mirya peels in, in a Audi Vayron...

Dana: "NOT YOU TOO MA!!!"

"Wanna mean we're supposed to put money BACK into the account?"
"This isn't the 'magic fridge'."

Some great ones guys!

[taalismn]

"Dana....what sort of bad company have you fallen into since we've been away? Joining the military, I can understand. Becoming a groundpounder, we can deal with. But BLACK OPS?! That's.....that's ....oh, where did we go wrong?"
"DAD!!!!!!!"

[Arnie100]

Dana: "If I EVER find out who gave away my account info...(use imagination)"
Zor: "This doesn't look good..."

[SRoss]

Dana: "If I EVER find out who gave away my account info...(use imagination)"
Zor: "This doesn't look good..."

Musica: "Good thing we used Karno's PC to make all our orders."

[Chronicler]

Dana: "If I EVER find out who gave away my account info...(use imagination)"
Zor: "This doesn't look good..."

Musica: "Good thing we used Karno's PC to make all our orders."

GMP Officer: "Ma'am, I understand that we been a little tight belt. And I can understand we need equipment to do our job. But using a decorated officers Amazon account to buy our things is just not ethical even by our standards. I mean the debt we racked-up on her bank account exceeds the Southern Crosses debt is wrong, and doubly so for pinning the blame on her boyfriend."

Nova: "You're new here arn't you?"

[Arnie100]

(IceGuard HQ)

IceGuard MP: "Who'd you upset to get posted here?"
GMP Officer: "Satori..."
IceGuard MP: "BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

[taalismn]

(IceGuard HQ)

IceGuard MP: "Who'd you upset to get posted here?"
GMP Officer: "Satori..."
IceGuard MP: "BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"So you got put on the 'Whistleblower Special', eh?"
"...shut up...."