Robotech Blooper Reels

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 12:11 am

(Knock knock)Skynet:"?"
Voice:"Telegram"
Skynet:"wha-aaaaaah!!!!"
Meanwhile.......
Hal:"hmmmm...who would send me mail?"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 12:53 pm

batlchip wrote:(Knock knock)Skynet:"?"
Voice:"Telegram"
Skynet:"wha-aaaaaah!!!!"
Meanwhile.......
Hal:"hmmmm...who would send me mail?"

<<YOU'VE GOT MAIL>>

HAL: <<IS THIS FROM DA -- >>

FFFFFFFFFWWWWWWOOOOOOOOMMMMPPPPPPP!!!!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 7:59 pm

Poor HAL....he was given conflicting orders and no reasonable way of dealing with the contradictions.
Somebody didn't think it through...what the hell was supposed to happen at the other end when the Discovery arrived? Was the ship just supposed to float on by with the hopes that ET might ignore it? Or was NASA/UNSA going to trust a First Contact situation to a machine that had proven capable of homicide? Great message to ET, guys.

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Fri Nov 04, 2016 3:16 pm

Maia: "Well JANICE, if you really like a guy, you flash him a little in private."

J.A.N.I.C.E.: "Oh? Thank you."

Later...

J.A.N.I.C.E. Flares up like a small sun...

Louie: "ARRG! SHE BLINDED ME WITH SCIENCE!!!"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Nov 04, 2016 5:08 pm

<<YOU'VE GOT MAIL>>

J.A.N.I.C.E.: :eek:

"Oh, I ain't falling for THAT trick..." (Redirects to Edwards' email address...)

(Down Below...)

Charon: "You've got to be kidding me...I come back from vacation and it's YOU, already?!"
Edwards: "It was an Email..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Nov 04, 2016 7:23 pm

Arnie100 wrote:<<YOU'VE GOT MAIL>>

J.A.N.I.C.E.: "Oh, I ain't falling for THAT trick..." (Redirects to Edwards' email address...)

(Down Below...)

Charon: "You've got to be kidding me...I come back from vacation and it's YOU, already?!"
Edwards: "It was an Email..."

"It isn't even supposed to affect organic brains...lemme guess; you're backed up in digital format?"
"No...but my laptap exploded."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:35 pm

Samsung Exec: "Someone stole our tech and is using it to sabotage everything!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:54 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Samsung Exec: "Someone stole our tech and is using it to sabotage everything!"

Edwards: "Oh come ON! Laptops and cellphones I can understand, but ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSHES?!"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Fri Nov 04, 2016 10:03 pm

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:Samsung Exec: "Someone stole our tech and is using it to sabotage everything!"

Edwards: "Oh come ON! Laptops and cellphones I can understand, but ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSHES?!"

Meanwhile in Tartarus...

Kyle: "And then my Water Pick turned into a Water Knife..." :shock:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Nov 04, 2016 10:49 pm

Things Not to Improve With Robotechnology:

Waterpicks

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Nov 04, 2016 11:28 pm

Things Not to Improve With Robotechnology:

Electric Toothbrushes

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sat Nov 05, 2016 11:47 am

Things Not to Improve With Robotechnology:

Sybians

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sat Nov 05, 2016 3:06 pm

(Down Below...)

Charon: "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Minmei: "Seriously, stop laughing at me!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Nov 05, 2016 6:25 pm

"Told you this was a bad neighborhood..."
(POV pulls back to show two UEEF Marines staring at their Silverback...which is up on concrete blocks, missing its wheels)

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sat Nov 05, 2016 7:00 pm

taalismn wrote:"Told you this was a bad neighborhood..."
(POV pulls back to show two UEEF Marines staring at their Silverback...which is up on concrete blocks, missing its wheels)

Things Not to Improve With Robotechnology:

GPS

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sat Nov 05, 2016 7:22 pm

GPS: 《I SAID TURN RIGHT IN 20 METERS! OH @#$^&* IT! I'LL DRIVE MYSELF!!!》

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sat Nov 05, 2016 7:30 pm

SRoss wrote:GPS: 《I SAID TURN RIGHT IN 20 METERS! OH @#$^&* IT! I'LL DRIVE MYSELF!!!》

"Somebody's been watching too many episodes of Knight Rider..."
GPS: <<K.I.T.T.'s a f**kin'pansy.>>

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Nov 05, 2016 8:10 pm

GPS: (Now make a right turn at the next light and initiate a SpaceFold-)
"'Initiate a spacefold?! This is a Toyota Corolla! And we're only going to the steakhouse, not the Andromeda Galaxy!!!"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sat Nov 05, 2016 9:36 pm

taalismn wrote:GPS: (Now make a right turn at the next light and initiate a SpaceFold-)
"'Initiate a spacefold?! This is a Toyota Corolla! And we're only going to the steakhouse, not the Andromeda Galaxy!!!"

GPS: 《WHO'S @#$/^&* NAVIGATING HERE BERNARD! I SWEAR I'D GET BETTER RESULTS IF WE LET ARIEL DRIVE!!!》

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sat Nov 05, 2016 10:58 pm

GPS: <<Roads? Where we're going we don't need no stinking roads!>>

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Nov 06, 2016 9:09 pm

"Actually, Commander Fokker might have survived his injuries if not for the Takata airbags in his cockpit."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sun Nov 06, 2016 10:16 pm

taalismn wrote:"Actually, Commander Fokker might have survived his injuries if not for the Takata airbags in his cockpit."

Chief Toombs: "Air bags?! I knew forgot to install something..."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Nov 07, 2016 11:10 am

Arnie100 wrote:
taalismn wrote:"Actually, Commander Fokker might have survived his injuries if not for the Takata airbags in his cockpit."

Chief Toombs: "Air bags?! I knew forgot to install something..."

Reaper: "Along with ejector seats, harnesses, life support, etc..."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Nov 07, 2016 2:15 pm

SRoss wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:
taalismn wrote:"Actually, Commander Fokker might have survived his injuries if not for the Takata airbags in his cockpit."

Chief Toombs: "Air bags?! I knew forgot to install something..."

Reaper: "Along with ejector seats, harnesses, life support, etc..."

Chief Toombs: :shock:

"I thought those were optional!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Nov 07, 2016 8:38 pm

Two Zentraedi soldiers return to their Regults to find....their mecha, minus legs, guns, and optical systems, and up in concrete blocks.
(start looking around nervously) "Yeah, right, REAL bad neighborhood...."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Nov 07, 2016 11:12 pm

taalismn wrote:Two Zentraedi soldiers return to their Regults to find....their mecha, minus legs, guns, and optical systems, and up in concrete blocks.
(start looking around nervously) "Yeah, right, REAL bad neighborhood...."

Zent Soldier #1: "Where are we, anyway?"
Zent Soldier #2: :shock:

"The neighborhood of MCHS #69!" :frazz:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Nov 07, 2016 11:23 pm

Arnie100 wrote:
Zent Soldier #1: "Where are we, anyway?"
Zent Soldier #2: "The neighborhood of MCHS #69!"

Khyron: (leading a raiding party of some hundred battlepods nearby) "Wait, what? WHERE are we?! Oh(expletive)...we are LEAVING!!!! BACK TO SOUTH AMERICA!!!!"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Nov 08, 2016 12:20 am

"What are they doing with all those legs?"

Giant centapede frankinmech stomps by...

"Forget I asked." :shock:

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Nov 08, 2016 3:08 pm

SRoss wrote:"What are they doing with all those legs?"

Giant centapede frankinmech stomps by...

"Forget I asked."

(Meanwhile in Auto Shop...)

Tim Taylor: "Needs more...power!"
Waashu: (Laughs maniacally) "More POWER!"
Random MCHS Student #1: :shock:

"Think its too late to switch classes?"
Random MCHS Student #2: :eek:

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Nov 08, 2016 4:53 pm

Arnie100 wrote:
SRoss wrote:"What are they doing with all those legs?"

Giant centipede frankinmech stomps by...

"Forget I asked."

(Meanwhile in Auto Shop...)

Tim Taylor: "Needs more...power!"
Waashu: (Laughs maniacally) "More POWER!"
Random MCHS Student #1: "Think its too late to switch classes?"
Random MCHS Student #2:

"Classes? Is it too late to switch school districts!?!" :eek:

Meanwhile, outside GMP HQ...

Nova: (Staring at the entire motor pool up on blocks) "I'm really beginning to hate that school."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Nov 08, 2016 6:26 pm

"Lieutenant Satori, w seem to have slipped the dimensional barriers again and MCHS#69 has bled over into our thread."
*SIGH*"Put up the traffic barriers and divert traffic around the incursion. I'll call IT and ask them for a rush order."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Nov 08, 2016 6:47 pm

Nova: "Those crazy 4th Wall people...one of these days..." (Shakes fist at the sky...)

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Nov 08, 2016 7:39 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Nova: "Those crazy 4th Wall people...one of these days..." (Shakes fist at the sky...)

"Might wanna get in out of the street if you're doing that, Lieutenant...last time somebody railed against the gods like that, they got hit with a cow."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Nov 08, 2016 7:45 pm

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:Nova: "Those crazy 4th Wall people...one of these days..." (Shakes fist at the sky...)

"Might wanna get in out of the street if you're doing that, Lieutenant...last time somebody railed against the gods like that, they got hit with a cow."

(As if on cue, a cow barely misses Nova...)

Nova: :shock:

"See Ma'am...that's why the rest of us keep our mouths shut."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Nov 08, 2016 9:34 pm

Nova: "How do you deal with cows being thrown at you?"
GMP Sergeant: "Usually we have a nice cookout afterwards. Guy who gets hit has to buy the beer."
GMP Corporeal: "Though one time it was chickens. Them was good eating too.Another time it was catfish."
Nova: "Catfish?"
GMP Sergeant: " That might have been a waterspout that laid them on us. Good thing CFC LeClerke knew a really good recipe for breaded baked catfish nuggets."*

*If you've never had baked, breaded, catfish nuggets...well, catfish is cheap as fresh fish goes, supermarket-price-wise. Prepared right, it is melt-in-your-mouth delicious.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Nov 08, 2016 11:16 pm

taalismn wrote:Nova: "How do you deal with cows being thrown at you?"
GMP Sergeant: "Usually we have a nice cookout afterwards. Guy who gets hit has to buy the beer."
GMP Corporeal: "Though one time it was chickens. Them was good eating too.Another time it was catfish."
Nova: "Catfish?"
GMP Sergeant: " That might have been a waterspout that laid them on us. Good thing CFC LeClerke knew a really good recipe for breaded baked catfish nuggets."*

*If you've never had baked, breaded, catfish nuggets...well, catfish is cheap as fresh fish goes, supermarket-price-wise. Prepared right, it is melt-in-your-mouth delicious.

"I'm waiting for a pig...ever had Lechon before? One of our guys is Filipino...says its some of the best pork..."

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Wed Nov 09, 2016 2:12 am

Ma'am we can't talk about pork because of the new transfer units captain Hamonwheat.

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Wed Nov 09, 2016 10:55 am

Meanwhile, in the hanger, a whole bunch of Defender pilots discover pig silhouettes have been added to their airborne targeting computers.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Wed Nov 09, 2016 1:52 pm

If you've never seen it, this is Lechon: http://www.coconaturasugar.com/v3/wp-co ... 2/dia1.jpg

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Nov 09, 2016 8:15 pm

Arnie100 wrote:If you've never seen it, this is Lechon: http://www.coconaturasugar.com/v3/wp-co ... 2/dia1.jpg

Not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing being able to identify what your food really is in this case.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Wed Nov 09, 2016 8:19 pm

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:If you've never seen it, this is Lechon: http://www.coconaturasugar.com/v3/wp-co ... 2/dia1.jpg

Not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing being able to identify what your food really is in this case.

Its really good. The meat melts in your mouth.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Nov 09, 2016 8:21 pm

"Wilbur? Is that you?"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Wed Nov 09, 2016 9:53 pm

taalismn wrote:"Wilbur? Is that you?"

"I think Wilbur became breakfast, lunch and dinner..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Nov 10, 2016 6:35 pm

Things Not to Enhance With Robotechnology

Food Processors

<<FFFFWWWWWWWSSSSHHHHTTTTTTTT>>
"That was either a fouling test of a VF's main turbines...or a whole rack of spare ribs beings run through the new Robotech meat grinder."
"...either way, the far wall's going to need cleaning. That looks like PAINT."
"..Uh, anybody see Colonel Edwards? He was standing by the door to the test chamber just a minute ago."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Nov 10, 2016 7:08 pm

taalismn wrote:Things Not to Enhance With Robotechnology

Food Processors

<<FFFFWWWWWWWSSSSHHHHTTTTTTTT>>
"That was either a fouling test of a VF's main turbines...or a whole rack of spare ribs beings run through the new Robotech meat grinder."
"...either way, the far wall's going to need cleaning. That looks like PAINT."
"..Uh, anybody see Colonel Edwards? He was standing by the door to the test chamber just a minute ago."

(Down below...)

Charon: (Sipping on a Petite Cola...) "What now?"
Edwards: :oops:

"Food processsor..."
Charon: (Spitting out soda...) "Ahahahhahah...the soda almost went my nose...AHAHAHAHAHA!"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Nov 10, 2016 8:16 pm

"I'm not sure a FAST Pack system is compatible with a pig!"

"Don't worry! We'll test it on Kyle first..."

(Down below...)

Charon: (Seeing Kyle buried headfirst in the ground to his knees) "Ahahahhahah... Damn! now it's coming out my nose!" :lol:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Nov 10, 2016 8:29 pm

...Sadly, Zor's primer on Robotechnology, Protoculture, and the true socio-political state of the galaxy, including the Invid, was accidentally disposed of by the explorers of the SDF-1/ASS-1, after a mistranslation of the found work was mistakenly misidentified as a 'trashy romance story, of the sort one is more likely to find in backwater drugstore book racks, or on really bad fanfiction forums'.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Nov 10, 2016 11:15 pm

Zor: "My stuff should be literary classics!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Nov 10, 2016 11:34 pm

"...I believe this phrase here translates into 'sparkly vampire'.....so I figure the rest of the stuff is just plain alien lit-$#!+, and we're better off looking at the imprints on the machinery for content."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Nov 11, 2016 12:29 am

taalismn wrote:"...I believe this phrase here translates into 'sparkly vampire'.....so I figure the rest of the stuff is just plain alien lit-$#!+, and we're better off looking at the imprints on the machinery for content."

Zor:

"I DO NOT SPARKLE! That is my natural complexion!"
The Regess: "No...you sparkle like a night light."