Robotech Blooper Reels

[taalismn]

[

SRoss: "She know about that rampy-thing that comes down from the back?"

THWAK!!!

..

MAC Designer: "Why DID we add that thing, anyway? They recoil control spades or something?"

[Arnie100]

[

SRoss: "She know about that rampy-thing that comes down from the back?"

THWAK!!!

..

MAC Designer: "Why DID we add that thing, anyway? They recoil control spades or something?"

Senior MAC Designer: "Useful for targets that go underneath the mecha."

[taalismn]

[
Senior MAC Designer: "Useful for targets that go underneath the mecha."

Guerilla: "Now that that protective armored plate is down at the back....take the up-the-@$$ shot on that BMF!!!"

[Arnie100]

[
Senior MAC Designer: "Useful for targets that go underneath the mecha."

Guerilla: "Now that that protective armored plate is down at the back....take the up-the-@$$ shot on that BMF!!!"

"Oh, S**T!!! They got @$$ guns!!"

[SRoss]

Minmei: (Wearing a fully loaded Cyclone) "NOW I'M READY FOR YOU!!!"

Ranka Lee: "This is a Macross Monster, not a ROBOTECH one."

Minmei: "So!"

The Monster transforms into battoid mode...

Minmei: "OH SHI..." (Transforms the Cyclone to cycle mode, turns, hits the boosters and slams into a pole.)

SRoss: "She never learned to drive, did she?"

Edwards: (Grabbing Minmei's legs) "She's out like a light! Now's our chance! Kyle grab her shoulders!"

Kyle: (Looking up) "Oh crud."

STOMP!

Charon: (Staring at Kyle, Edwards & Minmei) "Hit by the same bus?"

[Arnie100]

Arnie100: "That's a new one!"
taalismn: "Three at once...NICE."

(Down Below...)

Charon: "BAHAHAHAHAHA!" (Pointing finger at the Three Stoo -- Minmei, Kyle and Edwards...)

[taalismn]

Reinhardt: (looking out the window of the SDF-4) "Was that...really necessary?"
(POV pulls back to show the Neutron-S missiles floating in formation...and stenciled along their sides in big block letters: POINT OTHER END AWAY FROM SELF)
Sparks: "Apparently the Occupational Safety and Health Administration insisted on it. Mandatory safety regs and all..."

[Arnie100]

"What's this? (Picks up an old Claymore mine) And why does it say FRONT TOWARD ENEMY?"

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!

(Down Below...)

"Ooohh..."
Charon:

[SRoss]

Small Print, found on the base of an ASC grenade...

Remember, once you pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend...

[Arnie100]

Newly installed Self-Destruct label: DO NOT PUSH THIS BUTTON UNDER NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES

[taalismn]

Warning Label on ASC Hardware: THIS DEVICE TAMPERED WITH BY LOUIE NICHOLS

[Arnie100]

Warning Label on ASC Hardware: THIS DEVICE TAMPERED WITH BY LOUIE NICHOLS

(Down Below...)

Charon: "And; pray tell, why happened to YOU?"
Leonard: "I didn't read all the warning labels!"

[taalismn]

Technicians:(well-singed) "We didn't think he'd take 'intellectual property rights' so seriously...."

[taalismn]

Marcus Rush: "Okay, so hiding in one of our wrecks SEEMED like a good idea at the time. Not our fault the Invid were playing hide and seek with each other and one of them just HAPPENED to think hiding in the same wreck I was in was a good idea too-"

Invid Scout: ((heh-heh-heh-@@&@@ will NEVER think of looking for me her-waitasecond-))

[SRoss]

Marcus Rush: "Okay, so hiding in one of our wrecks SEEMED like a good idea at the time. Not our fault the Invid were playing hide and seek with each other and one of them just HAPPENED to think hiding in the same wreck I was in was a good idea too-"

Invid Scout: ((heh-heh-heh-@@&@@ will NEVER think of looking for me her-waitasecond-))

Tragically the Scout, Cinnamon, was the same one who'd later drop Ariel on her head...

[taalismn]

Marcus Rush: "Okay, so hiding in one of our wrecks SEEMED like a good idea at the time. Not our fault the Invid were playing hide and seek with each other and one of them just HAPPENED to think hiding in the same wreck I was in was a good idea too-"

Invid Scout: ((heh-heh-heh-@@&@@ will NEVER think of looking for me her-waitasecond-))

Tragically the Scout, Cinnamon, was the same one who'd later drop Ariel on her head...

Nah...Marcus's recon mission would have come AFTER Ariel(as a simulagent) was created, which would have been, what....at least six months before the events of 'Shadow Chronicles' play out...
Not that time and chronological sequence mean much in these threads....

[Arnie100]

"Canon? We don't need no stinkin' Canon!"

[taalismn]

"Canon? We don't need no stinkin' Canon!"

"Here, in the Bloopers, canon hurts just as bad as the other sort...you know, the twenty-millimeter, thirty-millimeter, eighty-eighty millimeter-"
"I'd like to know where you got the freakin' three hundred and five millimeter! That thing stings like a BI-"
"Nobody cares what you feel, Edwards."

[Arnie100]

"That's why we have visitors from all over the Megaverse running around here."
"I blame those guys." (Pointing at the fourth wall...)

[taalismn]

"Lost another crewmember off deck twelve!"
"How?! The Invid aren't anywhere NEAR our ships!"
"...He fell through the hull."
"...damned cheap CGI and low pixel resolution count! This is why mixing traditional hand-drawn and computer animation seldom works out well!"

[Arnie100]

"Lost another crewmember off deck twelve!"
"How?! The Invid aren't anywhere NEAR our ships!"
"...He fell through the hull."
"...damned cheap CGI and low pixel resolution count! This is why mixing traditional hand-drawn and computer animation seldom works out well!"

"It did for Macross!"
"Shut UP!"

[taalismn]

"Hunter! For leaving me to burn at Alaska I'll burn you! In this piIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"
"CUT!!!!! FIRE EXTINGUISHERS!!!!!!!PUT HIM OUT!!!! Damn it, TR, what did we tell you about moussing your hair on this set???!!!!
"(ouch!ow!yeouuucchhh!!!!"
"...stood too close to the pyrotechnics again, I see."
"...gahh...sorry, boss.."

[SRoss]

"Hunter! For leaving me to burn at Alaska I'll burn you! In this piIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"
"CUT!!!!! FIRE EXTINGUISHERS!!!!!!!PUT HIM OUT!!!! Damn it, TR, what did we tell you about mousing your hair on this set???!!!!"
"ouch!ow!yeouuucchhh!!!!"
"...stood too close to the pyrotechnics again, I see."
"...gahh...sorry, boss.."

Earlier...

MJ: (Doing Edwards' hair) "No, don't worry! You can never have too much mouse."

[Arnie100]

"Hunter! For leaving me to burn at Alaska I'll burn you! In this piIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"
"CUT!!!!! FIRE EXTINGUISHERS!!!!!!!PUT HIM OUT!!!! Damn it, TR, what did we tell you about mousing your hair on this set???!!!!"
"ouch!ow!yeouuucchhh!!!!"
"...stood too close to the pyrotechnics again, I see."
"...gahh...sorry, boss.."

Earlier...

MJ: (Doing Edwards' hair) "No, don't worry! You can never have too much mouse."

Warning Label on mousse: HIGHLY FLAMMABLE. AVOID CONTACT WITH FIRE.

[taalismn]

"JANICE, when the script sez you're supposed to grab Edwards tightly, it's supposed to be around the upper body like you're hugging or embracing him, not like...that...."
"Oops..sorry!"
"...ook...."
"You okay, man?"
"...yah...just going to walking funny for a few hours is all..."

[Arnie100]

Cut to shot of every male in the area trying to protect their; uhm, you KNOW...sensitive parts...

[taalismn]

Minmei: "I SWEAR! IF BENSON TRIES TO GROPE ME AGAIN DURING OUR WHOLE 'DAMSEL IN DISTRESS' SCENE AGAIN, I'LL DROWN HIM! I'LL SHOOT HIM! MAYBE I'LL SHOOT HIM -AND- DROWN HIM! FOR REAL! OR ELECTROCUTE HIM!!! THE SEXIST $%*$*$*$%#@@"
Director:(sweating) "Maybe we better write that scene out altogether....just show her in a glass tube thing....implying bad things is better than blatantly showing them..."

[Arnie100]

"Maybe it's the only way she'll ever be touched by a man..."
Minmei: "I HEARD THAT!"

[taalismn]

"Maybe it's the only way she'll ever be touched by a man..."
Minmei: "I HEARD THAT!"

"Benson isn't a man...even without mutagens...."
"WHO SAID THAT!!! I'LL-...EDWARDS????!!!!!!"

[SRoss]

Director: "Alright, who used real mutgens in the tube?"

Minmei: (Glowing and floating) "This feels right somehow."

[taalismn]

Director: "Alright, who used real mutgens in the tube?"

Minmei: (Glowing and floating) "This feels right somehow."

Regis: "Ah, that's where I left my smoothie."

[Arnie100]

Director: "Alright, who used real mutgens in the tube?"

Minmei: (Glowing and floating) "This feels right somehow."

Regis: "Ah, that's where I left my smoothie."

Ariel: "Don't drink that, Mom, you'll get food poisoning!"

[taalismn]

[

Ariel: "Don't drink that, Mom, you'll get food poisoning!"

Flower of Life Smoothie...the drink of people who don't have to worry about having their genetic integrity warped, twisted, folded, spindled, mutilated, or otherwise %$&&@#ed with.

For everybody else, it's the drink that fresh-poured out of the blender puts your DNA into the blender in turn.

[taalismn]

Alex Romero: "Hey, guys, call me stupid but there's something I never noticed before! My Alpha HUD has a little counter labeled 'Redshirt Rating'! Anybody else see that on yours? Mine is reading 98-nope, it's 99%! That's good, yes?"

[Arnie100]

"Redshirt rating? We have no idea what you're talking about! Don't worry about it!"

[taalismn]

"Redshirt rating? We have no idea what you're talking about! Don't worry about it!"

Commander Taylor: "Hey, kid, mine's 100%. You're going to be just fine!"

[SRoss]

"Redshirt rating? We have no idea what you're talking about! Don't worry about it!"

Commander Taylor: "Hey, kid, mine's 100%. You're going to be just fine!"

Ben Dixon: "Ha! Mine's 110%!"

[taalismn]

Edwards: "Okay, guys, don't get too attached ti Benson; his Redshirt rating just rose this week. Just don't let him know it."
*****
Zand: "Benson, I really got to insist you pay back that loan I made you..."
Benson: "Huh? What's going on? You're the fifth guy this week who's buttonholed me about favors or debts..."

[SRoss]

Edwards: "Okay, guys, don't get too attached ti Benson; his Redshirt rating just rose this week. Just don't let him know it."
*****
Zand: "Benson, I really got to insist you pay back that loan I made you..."
Benson: "Huh? What's going on? You're the fifth guy this week who's buttonholed me about favors or debts..."

Zand: "Edwards! Check it out! I've made goggles that will allow us, at a glance, to see another person's Redshirt Rating!"

Edwards & Zand: (Looking at each other) "OH CRAP!!!"

[taalismn]

The revised Prelude to the ShadowChronicles actually has Zand surviving(he's captured by the UEEF while trying to scram out the backdoor)...so unless he got shot trying to escape, got caught up in the overkill when Lisa orbit-zapped GodMutant Edwards, or was tried for treason and executed, he's probably breaking rocks in some UEEF penal colony.

[SRoss]

The revised Prelude to the ShadowChronicles actually has Zand surviving(he's captured by the UEEF while trying to scram out the backdoor)...so unless he got shot trying to escape, got caught up in the overkill when Lisa orbit-zapped GodMutant Edwards, or was tried for treason and executed, he's probably breaking rocks in some UEEF penal colony.

Judge Judy: "For your crimes Zand! I sentence you to life, on staff at MCH #69!"

Zand: "NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"

Judge Judy: "For that outburst, I further sentence you to teach at the MCH #69 Winter Annex at IceGuard!"

[taalismn]

Ghost Soldier: (In UEEF lock-up on Tirol) "Hey, Zand, before you get transferred...can I have your shoes?"

[Arnie100]

Ghost Soldier: (In UEEF lock-up on Tirol) "Hey, Zand, before you get transferred...can I have your shoes?"

Zand: "What?! No! These were a gift from my mother!"
Ghost Soldier: "Doesn't matter. Those kids over at that school are probably planning your death, already."

[SRoss]

Ghost Soldier: (In UEEF lock-up on Tirol) "Hey, Zand, before you get transferred...can I have your shoes?"

Zand: "What?! No! These were a gift from my mother!"
Ghost Soldier: "Doesn't matter. Those kids over at that school are probably planning your death, already."

Meanwhile, a silhouetted figure watches on a monitor in the Student Counsel Office...

"Silly man... There are fates MUCH WORSE then Death..."

[taalismn]

Zand: "What?! No! These were a gift from my mother!"
"

Ghost Soldier: "Didn't you say you and your mother HATED each other?"

[Alpha 11]

Minmei: "I SWEAR! IF BENSON TRIES TO GROPE ME AGAIN DURING OUR WHOLE 'DAMSEL IN DISTRESS' SCENE AGAIN, I'LL DROWN HIM! I'LL SHOOT HIM! MAYBE I'LL SHOOT HIM -AND- DROWN HIM! FOR REAL! OR ELECTROCUTE HIM!!! THE SEXIST $%*$*$*$%#@@"
Director:(sweating) "Maybe we better write that scene out altogether....just show her in a glass tube thing....implying bad things is better than blatantly showing them..."

"Maybe it's the only way she'll ever be touched by a man..."
Minmei: "I HEARD THAT!"

"Maybe it's the only way she'll ever be touched by a man..."
Minmei: "I HEARD THAT!"

"Benson isn't a man...even without mutagens...."
"WHO SAID THAT!!! I'LL-...EDWARDS????!!!!!!"

Director: "Alright, who used real mutgens in the tube?"

Minmei: (Glowing and floating) "This feels right somehow."

Director: "Alright, who used real mutgens in the tube?"

Minmei: (Glowing and floating) "This feels right somehow."

Regis: "Ah, that's where I left my smoothie."

Director: "Alright, who used real mutgens in the tube?"

Minmei: (Glowing and floating) "This feels right somehow."

Regis: "Ah, that's where I left my smoothie."

Ariel: "Don't drink that, Mom, you'll get food poisoning!"

[

Ariel: "Don't drink that, Mom, you'll get food poisoning!"

Flower of Life Smoothie...the drink of people who don't have to worry about having their genetic integrity warped, twisted, folded, spindled, mutilated, or otherwise %$&&@#ed with.

For everybody else, it's the drink that fresh-poured out of the blender puts your DNA into the blender in turn.

[Alpha 11]

Alex Romero: "Hey, guys, call me stupid but there's something I never noticed before! My Alpha HUD has a little counter labeled 'Redshirt Rating'! Anybody else see that on yours? Mine is reading 98-nope, it's 99%! That's good, yes?"

"Redshirt rating? We have no idea what you're talking about! Don't worry about it!"

"Redshirt rating? We have no idea what you're talking about! Don't worry about it!"

Commander Taylor: "Hey, kid, mine's 100%. You're going to be just fine!"

"Redshirt rating? We have no idea what you're talking about! Don't worry about it!"

Commander Taylor: "Hey, kid, mine's 100%. You're going to be just fine!"

Ben Dixon: "Ha! Mine's 110%!"

Edwards: "Okay, guys, don't get too attached ti Benson; his Redshirt rating just rose this week. Just don't let him know it."
*****
Zand: "Benson, I really got to insist you pay back that loan I made you..."
Benson: "Huh? What's going on? You're the fifth guy this week who's buttonholed me about favors or debts..."

Edwards: "Okay, guys, don't get too attached ti Benson; his Redshirt rating just rose this week. Just don't let him know it."
*****
Zand: "Benson, I really got to insist you pay back that loan I made you..."
Benson: "Huh? What's going on? You're the fifth guy this week who's buttonholed me about favors or debts..."

Zand: "Edwards! Check it out! I've made goggles that will allow us, at a glance, to see another person's Redshirt Rating!"

Edwards & Zand: (Looking at each other) "OH CRAP!!!"

[Alpha 11]

The revised Prelude to the ShadowChronicles actually has Zand surviving(he's captured by the UEEF while trying to scram out the backdoor)...so unless he got shot trying to escape, got caught up in the overkill when Lisa orbit-zapped GodMutant Edwards, or was tried for treason and executed, he's probably breaking rocks in some UEEF penal colony.

Hopefully for a VERY long time.

The revised Prelude to the ShadowChronicles actually has Zand surviving(he's captured by the UEEF while trying to scram out the backdoor)...so unless he got shot trying to escape, got caught up in the overkill when Lisa orbit-zapped GodMutant Edwards, or was tried for treason and executed, he's probably breaking rocks in some UEEF penal colony.

Judge Judy: "For your crimes Zand! I sentence you to life, on staff at MCH #69!"

Zand: "NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"

Judge Judy: "For that outburst, I further sentence you to teach at the MCH #69 Winter Annex at IceGuard!"

Ghost Soldier: (In UEEF lock-up on Tirol) "Hey, Zand, before you get transferred...can I have your shoes?"

Ghost Soldier: (In UEEF lock-up on Tirol) "Hey, Zand, before you get transferred...can I have your shoes?"

Zand: "What?! No! These were a gift from my mother!"
Ghost Soldier: "Doesn't matter. Those kids over at that school are probably planning your death, already."

Ghost Soldier: (In UEEF lock-up on Tirol) "Hey, Zand, before you get transferred...can I have your shoes?"

Zand: "What?! No! These were a gift from my mother!"
Ghost Soldier: "Doesn't matter. Those kids over at that school are probably planning your death, already."

Meanwhile, a silhouetted figure watches on a monitor in the Student Counsel Office...

"Silly man... There are fates MUCH WORSE then Death..."

Zand: "What?! No! These were a gift from my mother!"
"

Ghost Soldier: "Didn't you say you and your mother HATED each other?"

[Arnie100]

(Meanwhile...)

"Where the heck did that crazy school go?!"
"Who cares! We're all safer with it gone!"

[taalismn]

"No, I don;t think 'ZOLT', a soft drink based on the chemical cocktail administered to Zentraedi cannonfodder is such a good idea, even with health warnings on the label."
"Ah, nuts...."