A civilized exchange of views

[Toc Rat]

Rule number 1: Do not leave evidence of consorting with the enemy.
Rule number 2: see above.
Rule number 3: When consorting with the enemy get your stories straight.

Too bad Dangolf isn't a Mystic, he'd have been able to send Snuffy a telepathic message

[Toc Rat]

:lol: Oh, man! I remember that. Something about 'Since you are so tiered in my class, Private, let me help you get that blood flowing.'

Anyway, nice update, man!

Thank you! Glad you liked it

[Toc Rat]

Hello everyone, sorry I havent made a post in a bit but I've been rather busy. It would seem that in addittion to the army, mother nature also doesn't take my writing time in to account.

[Nxla666]

Hello everyone, sorry I havent made a post in a bit but I've been rather busy. It would seem that in addittion to the army, mother nature also doesn't take my writing time in to account.

Thats alright, I will just patiently wait for my room full of supermodels to arrive to console me.

[Nxla666]

Ya know what, Snuffy has to be one tough SoB.

I mean they are in the middle of nowhere so most likely hes in ARMOR and doing this, damn, thats got to be rough.

[Thinyser]

Don't know about the rest of us, but I'm ready for the next installment.

Agreed

[bigwhitehound]

Excellent, correction super excellent . I laughed so hard my bionic gut burst. More?

[Toc Rat]

:lol: Excellent, correction super excellent . I laughed so hard my bionic gut burst. More?

Thanks

I just got back in from the field, soooo good to have a shower after 7 days. I'll try to get the next chapter up before I head out again. I think I will be out sometime tomorrow afternoon for another week

[Toc Rat]

Hello all! I am sorry I havent put out a new chapter yet I have been so swamped in the past weeks. We are now done training the 4th ID and we just got a 5 day pass.

Just in case you are wondering why I still havent posted anything, it's because instead of working my thru every strip club, bar and dance club in vegas I am going thru the entry tests for Las Vegas metro police. I have one more before they tell me if I get to go on to the back ground check phase. Today was the PT test, passed that (no surprise there huh?) and tomorrow its the oral board.

I will get to writing whats all in my head here soon. Look for the next chapter around saturday

Thanks again for all the support and reviews of my little satire.

[Damian Magecraft]

Hello all! I am sorry I havent put out a new chapter yet I have been so swamped in the past weeks. We are now done training the 4th ID and we just got a 5 day pass.

Just in case you are wondering why I still havent posted anything, it's because instead of working my thru every strip club, bar and dance club in vegas I am going thru the entry tests for Las Vegas metro police. I have one more before they tell me if I get to go on to the back ground check phase. Today was the PT test, passed that (no surprise there huh?) and tomorrow its the oral board.

I will get to writing whats all in my head here soon. Look for the next chapter around saturday

Thanks again for all the support and reviews of my little satire.

Good luck on the tests Toc Rat...

[Blight]

Hey los vegas is a tough beat there metro unit is highly respected in the law enforcement community. Congrats man there test are some of the tougher ones. Wish ya the best!

[Toc Rat]

Many thanks all for your understanding and support. Its about 0620 right now and I'm off for my oral board. From what I understand if they like me there I basicly got in. Just a amtter of the background check and polygraph after that. Not worried about those. I got a secret clearence from my MOS in the army so it should be all good

You stationed at Nellis Jumper? That would be cool, I like it when I can put faces to the names.

[Nxla666]

Hey Toc, if any of the LV CSI are as hot as the tv show let me know.

[Toc Rat]

Sorry for the delay, it should be up this week. I am no longer in Fort Irwin, I've been sent away to school for 6 weeks. Took me all day just to drive here.

It's been a really bad day as only the Army knows how to do them. If anyone really wants all the details just send me a PM and I'll tell you my harrowing tale of woe.

[Toc Rat]

Sorry about the delay, here it is at long last, the 9th installment of our on going series. I hope it pleases.


Someone’s watching…

In a secret complex buried deeply underneath what was once called Maryland, a great machine entity took notice of an unfamiliar sound within its domain…

Hagan: *chuckling, presses another button causing the screen he is watching to change again* Elfinster: Well with my magic I can create a cloud of smoke to blind my enemies. Watch this! (casts Cloud of Smoke) *30 foot area covered by smoke*
Lt. Patterson: Very nice, watch this, (pulls and throws smoke grenade) *40 foot area is covered by smoke* Mine is bigger.

Hagan: *Slaps his leg and begins laughing even harder*
Archie: What are you doing Hagan?
Hagan: *Still laughing, presses the button again and the screen shows a different image* Just reviewing the downloaded video feed from those reprogrammed Skelebots we sent back to the coalition. Lt. Patterson: *smiles* It would indeed, observe. Front!
Pvt. Snuffy: *drops instantly in to front leaning rest, begins rapidly knocking out push-ups*
Lt. Patterson: Back!
Pvt. Snuffy: *flips over on to his back and begins to quickly do sit-ups*
Lt. Patterson: Gooooo!
Pvt. Snuffy: *leaps to his feet, beings running in place*
Archie: But why are you laughing Hagan?
Hagan: *Clutches his sides and is close to falling out of his chair* It’s…just…too…funny!
Archie: I’ll never understand humans…
Hagan: *stops laughing but still smiling* This gives me an idea…

Meanwhile back at the source of Hagan’s amusement, having dealt with their sub-ordinates discipline issues, our odd couple is once again exchanging their views in a “civilized” manner…

Lt. Patterson: So where were we?
Elfinster: You were about to witness more of our amazing magical powers.
Lt. Patterson: Oh, right...So come on, make with the amazing stuff.
Elfinster: Very well. Prepare your self! *begins chanting*
Lt. Patterson: *muttering* Oh not another ritual…

On the sidelines, we find Pvt. Snuffy and Dangolf together again…

Dangolf: What was that?!
Pvt. Snuffy: *huff* what *huff* was *huff* what?
Dangolf: All that running and stuff. I mean I know you guys are xenophobic, genocidal maniacs but that…that was just plain sadistic!
Pvt. Snuffy: *breath now caught* Welcome to my world friend. See why I want to get out?
Dangolf: Yah, I thought only us poor apprentices had it ruff.
Pvt. Snuffy: Hey, how long did he smoke me for?
Dangolf: Smoke? Oh! Smoke, got it, um maybe 10 minutes, why?
Pvt. Snuffy: *points towards sky* So all those clouds rolled in during those 10 minutes?
Dangolf: *looks up, then towards clearing* Oh no.
Pvt. Snuffy: What?
Dangolf: *pulls hood of cloak over his head* Put your helmet back on.
Pvt. Snuffy: *puts helmet on* Ok, you know something the weatherman doesn’t?
Dangolf: Yup, they didn’t factor in our bosses ego contest. *points at Elfinster*

Elfinster: *completes spell* There! Let’s see you mock me this time!
Lt. Patterson: You’d actually have to do something before I could mock you.
Elfinster: Just wait. *pulls hood over his head*
Lt. Patterson: *looking up at rapidly darkening sky* Wait, YOU did that?
Elfinster: That’s right; behold the power that is mine to command!
Lt. Patterson: What the power to ruin a perfectly nice day? That’s your amazing power?
Elfinster: *rain begins falling hard* That’s…not…the…point!
Lt. Patterson: No I think it is, except you didn’t have to do all that hocus pocus. You manage to ruin my day just fine in other ways.
Elfinster: Argh! Don’t you see? With this “hocus pocus” as you call it, I can bring much needed water to drought stricken lands!
Lt. Patterson: That was the point? We can do that too, we call it irrigation. Only it can water the lawn without spoiling perfectly good BBQ weather.
Elfinster: You just can’t admit our way is better can you? We don’t have to lay pipes, dig ditches or maintain any equipment!
Lt. Patterson: Oh yah? Do you realize how many jobs you’ve cost yourselves?
Elfinster: What? *confused look*
Lt. Patterson: First there is the pipe makers, then the construction companies that dig the trenches for those pipes, the people that run the pumping stations, the list goes on. Even if we did use magic, why would we want to hurt our economy like that?
Elfinster: *makes incoherent grumbling noises*
Lt. Patterson: So rain man, when does the shower stop?

Too be continued…

[Toc Rat]

Thanks! Glad you like it!

[Thinyser]

the real question is...


is it easier/more convenient to enlarge one's phallus with magic or technology?

giant spell...nuff said

[Toc Rat]

Definitely a tech-side bias but oh well. *grins* ^_^

Glad you like

Please don't missunderstand me, I am by no means a "Pro-technology" person. I originaly started this topic as a kindler, gentler way of expressing my...dissatisfaction with the wide power gap between magic and technology in Rifts. Since then it seems to have on a life of it's own. Much to my delight and amazement, you the people of these boards seem to enjoy my humble writings! No matter what else may have gone wrong during the day, it always brings a smile to my face to read some of your kind words.

[bigwhitehound]

Excellent!!! You should try and keep this going. But I have one question. What won? Magic or Technology? I say tec, For the simple reason that technology can be used by anyone, were as magic is limited to those who have the "gift" learn it.

[Toc Rat]

Excellent!!! You should try and keep this going. But I have one question. What won? Magic or Technology?

Thanks! Another happy reader

As for who "won"...that has yet to be determined.

[Larsen]

great stuff. just waiting for elfinster to start stomping his feet and screaming.

[Toc Rat]

great stuff. just waiting for elfinster to start stomping his feet and screaming.

Glad you liked it, I'm already working on the next one. It should be...interesting

[Preacher]

Good Job Man, Keep up the good work!!!

[Sureshot]

It's a great and fun read. Keep up the good work.

[Toc Rat]

Good Job Man, Keep up the good work!!!

Thank you all I'm glad that the little cameo with Archie and Hagan was well recieved. I hope to be including more little "easter eggs" like that in upcoming episodes. Stay tuned folks!

[KLM]

Hi there!

Keep it going.

Adios
KLM

[Larsen]

more more more we want blood from onions!!

give toc his own weekly/monthly(whichever) collum thingy on the boards.

[Toc Rat]

Just read the WHOLE thing from beginning to end, absolutely hilarious! Keep it going TocRat!

Thanks!

Another happy reader

[Nxla666]

Ah I have missed this fine satire in my long weeks of forced absence so very pleased to see it still going strong.

[Toc Rat]

Sorry I havent posted a new chapter in a bit everyone. I have next to no internet access at the moment

I have been working on more chapters though and am just waiting for inter access to be up in my new barracks. That should be happening on or about the 30th.

[KLM]

You have a faithfull audience

Adios
KLM

[Kagashi]

Hey guys, just got back from the great sandbox of the world and I am catching back up on my message boards. This is a great thread!

Toc, you can access message boards when you are deployed? You are so lucky, at my base, they want to destroy all hopes of moral and they blocked everything!

[Toc Rat]

Hello all! Sorry for the long delay but the next chapters are coming soon. I have just begun christmas leave and so will have plenty of time to get them posted.

Things have been a mad scramble with me, shake ups in the unit command chain, new CLS course that I got vuluntold for and my on going efforts to get in to LV metro police. I completed the 1600! question writen psyche eval and am now going through the background check.

[Blight]

Hey toc, i've been away for a good wile. I really liked your last instalment. By the way how did your testing go with metro?

[Toc Rat]

Hey toc, i've been away for a good wile. I really liked your last instalment. By the way how did your testing go with metro?

Thanks! Glad you liked it

It went well I think. I won't know for certain if I get in to the academy until final review in Febuary.

[Toc Rat]

This has been absolutely great. I'm an E-5 (Air Force) stationed at Buckley near Denver. I just cleared through the whole thread and have been laughing so hard I couldn't drink my soda.

At least Dead Boy armor has cooling systems right? Isn't that standard on EBA's? I wish MOPP4 had an A/C option.

Very glad you liked it!

Yah, I sure wish we had full enviro armor. Heck I'd settle for A/C in our M1s!

[KLM]

Not to mention, that a "light" Dead boy armor weight the same as a vest and a helmet.

Adios
KLM

[Toc Rat]

Looking forward to the next installment (do something with medics sometime?)

Something with Medics eh?...OK, I will see about working that in to the installment after this next one. Yah, I should be able to.

[Nxla666]

HMM, body armor, just what I need for holiday shopping.

How about the Juicer Spiked Vibro-armor?

And Toc Rat, come on man need more, startin to jones real bad.

[Toc Rat]

And Toc Rat, come on man need more, startin to jones real bad.

Never fear! I think there will be something for you all christmas morning

[Toc Rat]

You said Christmas morning... ::taps foot:::

Come on man, you got a whole posse of jonesin' thread addicts waiting on you...

Happy Holidays!

And so I did but I didnt say where that morning would be

Never fear though, I am actually typing it right now. Well ok not right now but you know what I mean. I feel you guys deserve the very best I can write, not something rushed.

Merry Christmas to all!

[Toc Rat]

Here it is gang! Thank you all for your support. Here is the long awaited and 10th chapter in the series. Hope you enjoy it!

Something this way comes….

Pvt. Snuffy: Look I don’t know about you but I don’t want to get smoked again for talking with a magic user. Shouldn’t we…? *jerks head towards tree line*
Dangolf: Good thinking and I got just the thing to make sure they don’t notice us walking off. You ever see Predator? (starts chanting)
Pvt. Snuffy: Have I?! That movie rocked! Wish our Deadboy armor could do that.
Dangolf: Well now it can my friend. (touches Snuffy’s armor)
Pvt. Snuffy: Huh? (looks down at his armor) Sweet! Just like in the movie.
Dangolf: Yup (cast spell on himself)
Pvt. Snuffy: Man if more magic users were like you maybe we wouldn’t have to kill so many…Um, no offense or anything.
Dangolf: I’ll take that as the compliment you no doubt meant it as.
Pvt. Snuffy: Cool. (starts walking in to woods) Know what the funny part is?
Dangolf: What?
Pvt. Snuffy: Your boss’s little rain storm will make it harder for any thermal sensors to see us.
Dangolf: Really? Well he did something useful today after all…

Meanwhile Dangolf’s “boss” is still fighting the good fight back in the clearing, trying yet again to prove magic is superior to technology…

Elfinster: Well if my control of the elements doesn’t impress you then perhaps this will! (begins chanting new spell)
Lt. Patterson: I can hardly wait…
Elfinster: (finished with spell) Hah! Would did you think of that?
Lt. Patterson: Huh? What do I think of what?
Elfinster: I just stopped time for everyone else but me for several seconds! (looks pleased)
Lt. Patterson: No you didn’t, you’ve been standing there the whole time.
Elfinster: Ah hah, to you it would have looked like nothing happened but for me several seconds passed.
Lt. Patterson: What just now?
Elfinster: No then…I mean just before I told you I had slipped thru time.
Lt. Patterson: Well couldn’t you have done something while the rest of us were “stopped”?
Elfinster: Very well…(begins spell again)
Lt. Patterson: If this is the kind of resistance we’ll face when we take on Tolkeen…(shakes head)
Elfinster: (appears on other side of clearing) How was that? I slipped thru time and walked all the way over here.
Lt. Patterson: No you didn’t, I bet you just turned invisible and ran over there.
Elfinster: Wouldn’t you have seen me do that with your oh so great thermal optics?
Lt. Patterson: Well yah but I didn’t have them on just then, could you do it again?
Elfinster: ARGH!!!

As Elfinster prepares another demonstration of his time slip spell, Dangolf and Pvt. Snuffy, having made it safely out of site of their respective bosses, are once again putting their heads together…

Pvt. Snuffy: So you went to some kind of magic user college right? (un-slings his C-14)
Dangolf: Yes, every ley-line walker in Tolkeen goes to it before being assigned to a senior wizard. Man I can’t wait till my apprenticeship is over.
Pvt. Snuffy: Right and um at this school, did they teach you how to like recognize different monsters and stuff? (checks e-clip)
Dangolf: Of course, basic Demon & Monster lore is a required course.
Pvt. Snuffy: So like if you were to see a four legged beast the size of a house, with a really BIG horn and claws bigger then my chest, you’d know what it was? (pumps grenade slide)
Dangolf: Oh that’s an easy one, sounds like you are describing a Rhino-Buffalo.
Pvt. Snuffy: And are these rhino beasts mean? (lowers in to prone firing position)
Dangolf: Oh yes! But why do you ask? And just what are you doing down there?
Pvt. Snuffy: Cuz three of them are standing about 20 meters behind you.
Dangolf: What?! *loud astonished whisper* (spins around)
Pvt. Snuffy: *speaking in to helmet radio* Lt. this is Pvt. Snuffy, we got 3 monsters incoming, un-happy kind.

Too be continued…

[Toc Rat]

I wish I could just mass PM everyone that follows this thread, I just spent 30 minutes typing them all out to let everyone know the tenth chapter was up!

With any luck I hope to have the next one up before New Years.

[KLM]

Both your writings (PM and story) is well received here. Thank you, Toc Rat.

Adios
KLM

[Toc Rat]

Outstanding...

Predator rocks.

Thanks! Been waiting all night just to see if anyone liked it:)

Time for bed now though. Going to dream about the next chapter.

[Toc Rat]

:D

Both your writings (PM and story) is well received here. Thank you, Toc Rat.

Adios
KLM

Awww, thanks KLM. Glad you liked it.

[Preacher]

Very nice and now I am eagerly waiting the next chapter.

[Nxla666]

I wish I could just mass PM everyone that follows this thread, I just spent 30 minutes typing them all out to let everyone know the tenth chapter was up!

With any luck I hope to have the next one up before New Years.

Your time is well spent and appreciated.

[Blight]

Loved it man,:ok: They keep getting better!

[Toc Rat]

Thanks all! And here I was worried it might not be up to previous installments...silly me

Yup, Snuffy and Dangolf do have something of a problem. Should be fun to see what they do