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darkmax wrote:Why? I'll get a Splurgorth as a bonus?!

No, that's COD...'CONQUER On Delivery'
If you're lucky, you might get an Altaran...

Just one problem with that little package. It has to be delivered by some super lifting capacity vehicle to lift a compressed sploogie!

And then you hope your local apartment complex has something which can uncompress the item arriving. Of course with that you have another little problem. What if when it uncompresses that there is not enough room for it!


"Honey; I'm uncompressing that thing you ordered thru the postal service."

:::The sound of humming electronics as a device which uncompresses items is activated. There is the sound of furniture being crushed and shoved aside by something very large uncompressing. Further sounds of a major structural member of the house being torn away from the foundation. And a stifled scream ends abruptly.:::

"Dear Don't uncompress it inside the house.......... (After hearing the sounds of destruction below) it's you brand new birthday yacht.

And maybe not. If he's a cute she might make him her slave. But who is going to sell and altess. There aren't that many out there that have that sort of resources.

darkmax wrote:hmm... menage a troi!! Oh yes, you could always use him/her as a walking ATM....

Somehow I feel that Altess have entire planetary armies of lawyers....and they can always buy a few million RepoBots....

Googlecrynnth: Official Splugorth minister of information. He has single handedly (tentacled-ly?) revolutionized imformation retrieval and storage systems for the splugorth.

"Hey Splynn...what's the goin rate for Velociraptors on Center? We just got a batch in from Florida."

"Bah...I dunno off the top of my eye...Google it."

ROFLMAO!!!! Great addition!!

Johnteshynnth: A splugorth that is mildly tolerated by the others. Not really good at anything, and usually just gets in the other splugorth's way.

"But Splynn I can play a piano!!"

"Who the f**k cares?"

darkmax wrote:Now a truly artistically talented Splugorth! That's a rarity!

Well, I guess we can't count the ancient Splugorth muscial instrument the Screamiano that goes through about 250 slaves a performance....

But...I'm getting mind-boggling images of the sort of instruments a single Splugorth could and WOULD play....rune, probably...which raises the horrible spector of the Rune Kazoo and the Squeezebox of the Apocalypse...not to mention the DRead Bagpipes of Balabaroooooonnnn....


Then there's Aetnythh....Splugorth overlord of Insurance...once you sign on to the policy and start making payments...he OWNS you...

I think I remember seeing it's little cousin on MOnty Python years ago. Something about mice and a hammer.

Or a door to door vacuum salesperson. Imagine the surprise of some poor person opening their door and theirs a sploogie trying to sale vacuums.

Rune Vaccums? Capable of cleaning the toughest of stains, removing animal hair, and removing obstinate children from in front of the tele...

ROFLMAO!!! Good ones!

darkmax wrote:And I thought the Universal Remover will do just that.....

There are many paths to cleanliness....

Taalismn Wrote

There are many paths to cleanliness....

That is very true.............Grasshopper!

darkmax wrote:Oh mine! We bringing in the not-so-Chinese-Shaolin-monk, are we?!

Promethean, actually...Master of Sudden-Violent-Bodily-Compression Martial Arts....and Megacosmic Fortune Cookie Calligraphy...

darkmax wrote:

taalismn wrote:Promethean, actually...Master of Sudden-Violent-Bodily-Compression Martial Arts....and Megacosmic Fortune Cookie Calligraphy...

That would be the Secret Art of Extreme Packing (practiced for millions of years by the monks working for the Galactic Courier Express and Universal Parcel Service), and the Forbidden Art of Ghost Writing (Widely used by 20th and 21st centuries' doctors and scientists)

Millions of years? Is that why it takes so long for my DVDs to get mailed to me?

darkmax wrote:Oh ! That's just the postmaster, Thraxus.

Agh...so much for privacy, then....I was wondering why my blackmail expenses were so high this fiscal quater-millenia....

darkmax wrote:Now you know.

AGH!!!!I WAS BLISSFULLY IGNORANT!!!!
NOW I SEE THE TENTACLES OF THE SPLUGORTH, NARUNI, AND THE MEGAVERSAL BLACK MARKET EVERYWHERE!!!!!
Evolution from a simple single-celled life form has broken me with forbidden knowledge !!!

Malinekryth:
Splugorth Rune weapon Specialist. in addition for the rune weapons that the Splugorth are known Malinekryth has turned at least one Pantheon of gods into rune weapons. Currently suffering from attacks by groups of adventurers hired by unknown parties.

Yes...when the Golden Apple hits, it hits like a rail gun-driven brick....

Of course he could be a clone. One of the ones we were talking aobut earlier on another thread.

Rockwolf66 wrote:Malinekryth:
Splugorth Rune weapon Specialist. in addition for the rune weapons that the Splugorth are known Malinekryth has turned at least one Pantheon of gods into rune weapons. Currently suffering from attacks by groups of adventurers hired by unknown parties.

Either weak Pantheons ("Really? You converted a whole Pantheon of Gods and Goddesses of CHEESE into rune weapons? THat must be some pretty impressive cheese-slicers!") or this is one BAAAADDDD dude you don't wanna cross.."Hey, Father John! Doesn't that sword look like your patron goddess?" "NNNNNNOOOOOooooooooooo!!!!!!!!"

darkmax wrote:Hmm.... Being John Malkovich....

Oh great...I'll never look at the guy the same way again!
And we thought THoth's problems with a 'Heart of Darkness' were bad!

And a clone is a clone.

Yes it can. Maybe they transfered the sploogies brain pattern into the clone of John Malkovich.

It would also explain his baleful look and odd behavior...imagine trading in a massive multi-limbed body with near omnipotent powers for a fragile ugly naked ape that's constantly in danger of falling down and is limited to five senses....

Well maybe that's where claustrophobia comes from!

taalismn wrote:Either weak Pantheons ("Really? You converted a whole Pantheon of Gods and Goddesses of CHEESE into rune weapons? THat must be some pretty impressive cheese-slicers!") or this is one BAAAADDDD dude you don't wanna cross.."Hey, Father John! Doesn't that sword look like your patron goddess?" "NNNNNNOOOOOooooooooooo!!!!!!!!"

The inspiration for this particulat Entity is a woman who is known as Malinche

Rockwolf66 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Either weak Pantheons ("Really? You converted a whole Pantheon of Gods and Goddesses of CHEESE into rune weapons? THat must be some pretty impressive cheese-slicers!") or this is one BAAAADDDD dude you don't wanna cross.."Hey, Father John! Doesn't that sword look like your patron goddess?" "NNNNNNOOOOOooooooooooo!!!!!!!!"

The inspiration for this particulat Entity is a woman who is known as Malinche

Rockwolf, that's inspired digging..and retention of obscure information...which is often the best source of inspiration!

Very interesting! I'd forgotten about her from history.

darkmax wrote:I've never even heard of her!

The Palladium Channel....A round-about way of learning history and expanding your horizons...

"But how many dice-damage does she do?!"

That is a good question!

Made her Seduction roll!

Good onme Darkmax!

darkmax wrote:Hey I don't see why not, just like those from Aphrodite and the other goddesses of love.

Divinity hath its perks....

New Splugorth:

Lucocyrthh---Lucocyrthh is a Splugorth with a specialization and a mission---exterminating Vampire Intelligences....fully 50% of his resources are tied up in the pursuit and destruction of vampires. The Splugorth has taken teh continued existance of the Vampires as an insult to the Splugorth species, and he means to remedy the oversight of his people in obliterating the blood-sucking vermin. His realm turns out some of teh most devout and expert vampire-slayers in the Three Galaxies(maybe the Megaverse) and his minions are constantly researching new ways to detect and slay vampires.
Lucocyrthh however is not entirely altruistic; most upper-echelon Vampire Minions surround themselves with the trappings of affluence and influence, and Lucocyrthh has discovered that there's profit to be had in looting the undead....gathering a bonus from hiring out to vamp-beseiged kingdoms, and then often-times moving in and taking over a Vampire's empire....If the vampire's slaves aren't too badly drained and beaten up, Lucocyrthh isn't above enslaving them, after fixing them up...after all, he just saved them from a slow, painful death, right? Who are they to protest life in marginally better servitude?
Lucocyrthh is also not above using entire populations as bait to concentrate vampire hordes and to trick the Intelligences into giving away his presence...and he's not above sacrificing hordes of Minions to get results...He supposedly once had a team of iron golems carry a captive Water Warlock into the den of Vampires....The Warlock either killed all the vampires, or he died in the process.
Lucocyrthh is generally seen by other Splugorth as a minor player in their power games, but he serves a useful purpose, so they often hire him when they have a vampire problem in their own realm, and throw him material support. He hasn't yet heard of the vampire problem on Rifts Earth(Splynncryth is keeping mum on details of the world, but knowledge is leaking out), but it would be interesting to speculate what his reaction might be to Doctor Reid and his zealots.

I wonder if that sploogie might be the one who uses Celtic Cross shaped starships.

Aramanthus wrote:I wonder if that sploogie might be the one who uses Celtic Cross shaped starships.

You got it! One thread inspires work on another!

darkmax wrote:hmm..... I'm going to design a celtic cross ship.... what should I name it as?

Dunno...a Celtic Saint maybe?
Or a nasty-sounding Kittani name meaning something like "Sign of Burning Light', 'Rain of Purification'(Purifier) or 'Crusher of Evil'?

darkmax wrote:Hmm... how about Druidic D'Light?!

That's obviously a mistranslation from the original Kittani...the translator must be beaten at once...

LOL Nice ship too! I like how it sort reflects the local star.

That...is a thing of beauty....
You captured it well....
Now we need some volunteers to stat out your creations!

Craeful what you do for fun...one thing can lead to another....
Any of these threads for instance....
From idle thoughts grow massive undertakings...from "I wish...to it could be done...to it WILL be done...to IT WILL BE DONE BIGGER..."
And thus we get World Books...

Winter wrote:

darkmax wrote:yes I can see that.... problem lies with whose skirt is it going to chase after? Do we even know if Splugorths have sexes?

Come on people lets not go there huh, yeesh

:

Yes, let's not go down roads already marked 'condemned'....

Many THree Galaxies expeditions to determine the sex of Splugorth have been mounted....few have returned, and of those, the survivors are inevitably comitted to sanitoriums, gabbling maddly or else looking into the distance with longs of horror etched on their features...

It is said that not even Great Cthulu dares inquire as to what goes on behind closed dorrs in a Splugorth's inner sanctum...

darkmax wrote:Only the great Aphrodite will know.....

Oh yeah...there's always that threat looming on the horizon...if Eros does succeed...(or maybe that annoying little trouble maker Cupid).

All I'm going to say is Aphrodite must have a strong stomach to help sploogies find love. And Cupid must have blinders if he has to shoot a sploogie with one of his arrows.

Just remember...the Palladium version of Cupid is an annoying little bugger who delights in inciting lust between incompatible people for the sheer pleasure of watching the anguish, heartache, arguments, divorces, abuse, and murder that follow his little 'love shots'...

Anyone wants to give him a case of plasma-burn diaper-rash, feel free to open fire...

That is true!

I go where I have too! I always have!