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And now time for the misadventures of Timeloop Kyle: Military Edition.

Loop #6: Valkyrie Pilot

Roy: "Ensign, I know everyone likes to personalize their plane. I even did mine up as you can see. But son this isn't WW2, the brass is asking for you to paint over the pin-up girl."

Kyle:

Roy: "I know. You did a good job on it too."

Loop #160: Destroid Pilot (Spartan)

Lang: "So you want me to design a giant sword..."

Kyle: "Or axe."

Lang: "... Or axe for your Spartan?"

Kyle: "Yes."

Lang: "And have *looks at notes* "Live. Die. Repeat." etched in it? Why?"

Kyle: "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

Chronicler wrote:And now time for the misadventures of Timeloop Kyle: Military Edition.."

Ben Dixon: "So you're Looping, now?"
Kyle: "Yep. Quite a surprise."
Ben: "How long?"
Kyle: "Long enough to learn that saying ####-all to my cousin and nuking Edwards' compound from orbit in order to crash the Loops is NOT a good idea."
Ben: "Punishment Loop?"
Kyle: "Close enough. Stuck watching a marathon session of some alternate universe snot-rag version of me going through something like the 'Megaversal Loop Blooper Show'. Pure torture seeing myself acting so DUMB."

"Children are not to be referred to as Sub-Units."

SRoss wrote:"Children are not to be referred to as Sub-Units."

"Nor 'expendable ordnance' or 'jettisonable decoys'."

Chief Toombs: "What about their used diapers? Can we use those as 'biological weapons'?"

Arnie100 wrote:Chief Toombs: "What about their used diapers? Can we use those as 'biological weapons'?"

Reges: "I used them as fertilizer for the Flower Of Life."

Invid all over the Universe do spit takes.

SRoss wrote:

THINGS NEVER TO ENHANCE WITH PROTOCULTURE

Cats

Dr. Lang: "Vhat? It vas only a concept!"

(Disclaimer: This is NOT me hating, so don't take this as inflammatory, just making a joke. )

THINGS NEVER TO ENCHANCE WITH PROTOCULTURE

Macross

Alrik Vas wrote:(Disclaimer: This is NOT me hating, so don't take this as inflammatory, just making a joke. )

THINGS NEVER TO ENCHANCE WITH PROTOCULTURE

Macross

Tommy: "THAT never existed!!!! How did they find out about that MONSTROSITY?!" (Same as George's reaction to the Star Wars Holiday Special)

Arnie100 wrote:

Alrik Vas wrote:(Disclaimer: This is NOT me hating, so don't take this as inflammatory, just making a joke. )

THINGS NEVER TO ENCHANCE WITH PROTOCULTURE

Macross

Tommy: "THAT never existed!!!! How did they find out about that MONSTROSITY?!" (Same as George's reaction to the Star Wars Holiday Special)

"The only way this could get worse is if Lancer sung while high on pain killers."

Arnie100 wrote:

THINGS NEVER TO ENHANCE WITH PROTOCULTURE

Turkeys

"That's not a protoculture enhanced turkey. THIS is a protoculture enhanced turkey."

Alrik Vas wrote:(Disclaimer: This is NOT me hating, so don't take this as inflammatory, just making a joke. )

THINGS NEVER TO ENCHANCE WITH PROTOCULTURE

Macross

Couldn't be as bad as some of the same company's OTHER Robotech titles....

taalismn wrote:

Alrik Vas wrote:(Disclaimer: This is NOT me hating, so don't take this as inflammatory, just making a joke. )

THINGS NEVER TO ENCHANCE WITH PROTOCULTURE

Macross

Couldn't be as bad as some of the same company's OTHER Robotech titles....

Tommy: "They don't know about Robotech: 3000...do they?!"

Rick: ("Okay...baseline TimeLoop....I'm over Macross Island, Breetai's attacking...I just rescued Minmei, I seem to be the only one Awake. Comm's coming up...unawake Lisa's likely going to yell at me....Don't antagonize her and I can work on getting on her good side, as this is a baseline and nothing untoward should happen if I play it straight and reasona-")
Minmei:(from backseat) "So who's the old fatso?"
Lisa:< "...you're dead, whoever you idiots are on that plane...">
Rick: ("...and maybe I should just crash the damn loop at that...")

Arnie100 wrote:Gloval: "Azonia, Love! The baby is so...so..BIG."
Azonia:
Gloval: "BOZHE MOI...I'm a father...at my age..."

taalismn wrote:"We are not to refer to the birth of any child in the UEEF as 'the rollout of the new model'."

Arnie100 wrote:Azonia: "THAT is the FIRST and ONLY time we are having one of those...but they're sssooooo cute..."
Dr. Lang: "Zen zey grow up..."
Azonia: "They get BIGGER?!"

taalismn wrote:"You will find a description of middle-of-the-night wakings and feedings under the 'range', 'endurance times' and 'refueling' specifications in your handouts."

Chronicler wrote:And now time for the misadventures of Timeloop Kyle: Military Edition.

Loop #6: Valkyrie Pilot

Roy: "Ensign, I know everyone likes to personalize their plane. I even did mine up as you can see. But son this isn't WW2, the brass is asking for you to paint over the pin-up girl."

Kyle:

Roy: "I know. You did a good job on it too."

Loop #160: Destroid Pilot (Spartan)

Lang: "So you want me to design a giant sword..."

Kyle: "Or axe."

Lang: "... Or axe for your Spartan?"

Kyle: "Yes."

Lang: "And have *looks at notes* "Live. Die. Repeat." etched in it? Why?"

Kyle: "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

taalismn wrote:

Chronicler wrote:And now time for the misadventures of Timeloop Kyle: Military Edition.."

Ben Dixon: "So you're Looping, now?"
Kyle: "Yep. Quite a surprise."
Ben: "How long?"
Kyle: "Long enough to learn that saying ####-all to my cousin and nuking Edwards' compound from orbit in order to crash the Loops is NOT a good idea."
Ben: "Punishment Loop?"
Kyle: "Close enough. Stuck watching a marathon session of some alternate universe snot-rag version of me going through something like the 'Megaversal Loop Blooper Show'. Pure torture seeing myself acting so DUMB."

SRoss wrote:"Children are not to be referred to as Sub-Units."

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:"Children are not to be referred to as Sub-Units."

"Nor 'expendable ordnance' or 'jettisonable decoys'."

Arnie100 wrote:Chief Toombs: "What about their used diapers? Can we use those as 'biological weapons'?"

SRoss wrote:

THINGS NEVER TO ENHANCE WITH PROTOCULTURE

Cats

SRoss wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:Chief Toombs: "What about their used diapers? Can we use those as 'biological weapons'?"

Reges: "I used them as fertilizer for the Flower Of Life."

Invid all over the Universe do spit takes.

Arnie100 wrote:

SRoss wrote:

THINGS NEVER TO ENHANCE WITH PROTOCULTURE

Cats

Dr. Lang: "Vhat? It vas only a concept!"

Arnie100 wrote:

THINGS NEVER TO ENHANCE WITH PROTOCULTURE

Turkeys

Alrik Vas wrote:(Disclaimer: This is NOT me hating, so don't take this as inflammatory, just making a joke. )

THINGS NEVER TO ENCHANCE WITH PROTOCULTURE

Macross

Arnie100 wrote:

Alrik Vas wrote:(Disclaimer: This is NOT me hating, so don't take this as inflammatory, just making a joke. )

THINGS NEVER TO ENCHANCE WITH PROTOCULTURE

Macross

Tommy: "THAT never existed!!!! How did they find out about that MONSTROSITY?!" (Same as George's reaction to the Star Wars Holiday Special)

SRoss wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:

Alrik Vas wrote:(Disclaimer: This is NOT me hating, so don't take this as inflammatory, just making a joke. )

THINGS NEVER TO ENCHANCE WITH PROTOCULTURE

Macross

Tommy: "THAT never existed!!!! How did they find out about that MONSTROSITY?!" (Same as George's reaction to the Star Wars Holiday Special)

"The only way this could get worse is if Lancer sung while high on pain killers."

SRoss wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:

THINGS NEVER TO ENHANCE WITH PROTOCULTURE

Turkeys

"That's not a protoculture enhanced turkey. THIS is a protoculture enhanced turkey."

Wow. That was actually interesting.

taalismn wrote:

Alrik Vas wrote:(Disclaimer: This is NOT me hating, so don't take this as inflammatory, just making a joke. )

THINGS NEVER TO ENCHANCE WITH PROTOCULTURE

Macross

Couldn't be as bad as some of the same company's OTHER Robotech titles....

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Alrik Vas wrote:(Disclaimer: This is NOT me hating, so don't take this as inflammatory, just making a joke. )

THINGS NEVER TO ENCHANCE WITH PROTOCULTURE

Macross

Couldn't be as bad as some of the same company's OTHER Robotech titles....

Tommy: "They don't know about Robotech: 3000...do they?!"

Yep.

taalismn wrote:Rick: ("Okay...baseline TimeLoop....I'm over Macross Island, Breetai's attacking...I just rescued Minmei, I seem to be the only one Awake. Comm's coming up...unawake Lisa's likely going to yell at me....Don't antagonize her and I can work on getting on her good side, as this is a baseline and nothing untoward should happen if I play it straight and reasona-")
Minmei:(from backseat) "So who's the old fatso?"
Lisa:< "...you're dead, whoever you idiots are on that plane...">
Rick: ("...and maybe I should just crash the damn loop at that...")

SRoss wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:

THINGS NEVER TO ENHANCE WITH PROTOCULTURE

Turkeys

"That's not a protoculture enhanced turkey. THIS is a protoculture enhanced turkey."

Lisa: "You were drunk again huh?"

Lang: "Mix of turkey coma and 110 proof Russian Vodka."

Rick: "... How are you still alive?"

Gloval: "The good Doctor's got some Russian blood in him."

(Aboard The Master's Flagship...)

Robotech Master #1: "Why are the humans so fascinated with this 'Black Friday'?"
Robotech Master #2: "Honestly do no know...but they seem intent on killing each other over these 'bargains'."
Robotech Master #3: "If you saw all the stuff I bought..."
Robotech Master #1 & 2: (Staring at the hanger full of packages...)

Arnie100 wrote:(Aboard The Master's Flagship...)

Robotech Master #1: "Why are the humans so fascinated with this 'Black Friday'?"
Robotech Master #2: "Honestly do no know...but they seem intent on killing each other over these 'bargains'."
Robotech Master #3: "If you saw all the stuff I bought..."
Robotech Master #1 & 2: (Staring at the hanger full of packages...)

(Meanwhile in the Master's Chamber)
SRoss: "I can't believe the deal Kevin gave us on this Mothership."

Taalismn: "Amazon is an amazing thing."

Arnie100: "You think the Muses will appreciate the new outfits"

(Down in Monument City...)

Robotech Master #1: "How did we lose our Mothership?"
Robotech Master #2: "I blame HIM!"
Robotech Master #3: "I think we have more important things to worry about!" (Pointing at the growing mob of people)

Max: "Mir, honey...perhaps I exaggerated a LITTLE BIT about 'Black Friday'...The high command wants to talk to you about that little excursion you took with your veritech and some requisitioned weaponry to the shopping mall...."

Random CDU Officer #1: "Should we...? (Pointing at the fleeing Masters)
Random CDU Officer #2: "NOPE." (Pointing at the chasing mob)
Random CDU Offocer #1: "RIGHT."

UEG Medic: "By the way, I hope you were paying attention to the the lecture."

UEG NCO: "Why?"

UEG Medic: "Cause you get to explain it to the Praxians."

UEG NCO:

SRoss wrote:UEG Medic: "By the way, I hope you were paying attention to the the lecture."

UEG NCO: "Why?"

UEG Medic: "Cause you get to explain it to the Praxians."

UEG NCO:

Praxian: "It's when the Holy Eyedropper meets a lonely Sacred Test-Tube..."

(Actually, I'm now pondering if the Praxians might have been a lost fleet of Gallforce Solenoids....)

Praxian #1: "We have to WHAT?!"
Prazian #2: "And then we have to do THAT?!"
Praxian #3: "Ohhhh...that sounds like FUN."
Praxian #1: "Teens..."

Praxian 1: This love, what is it, how do you express it?
Medic: Well, love isn't the necessary part of baby making, it's all biological.
Praxian 2: I have heard one must be mounted to perform this act, is it done from horseback?
Mongol Warrior: In my country, everything is done from horseback.
Praxian 1: We shall battle for the mount position, then!
Praxian 2: Battle!
Medic: ooooh boy...*begins to creep away*
Mongol Warrior: Where are you going soldier!? They're challenging us!!
Medic: You don't know the TERROR.

Mongol Warrior: "They can do THAT?!" (Galloping away as fast as he can)
UEG Medic: "COWARD!!"
Praxians: (Looking at the poor UEG Medic)
UEG Medic: "Mother..."

Arnie100 wrote:Mongol Warrior: "They can do THAT?!" (Galloping away as fast as he can)
UEG Medic: "COWARD!!"
Praxians: (Looking at the poor UEG Medic)
UEG Medic: "Mother..."

Somebody's been reading the Waltrips' Amazon Gazonga again...

(Speaking to a group of assembled Medics...)

UEG Doctor: "So who volunteers for Praxian duty?"

(Suddenly the room is empty...)

UEG Doctor: "Is that a good sign?"

"No...a 'baby boom' does not entail the use of explosives..."

"I thought we could.use the baby diapers as explosive ingredients..."
"That's different, then. Carry on."

"Okay, I sorta don't mind that we're getting corporate sponsorship for the next Robotech movie, but can we skip painting the corporate logo on our mecha? I mean...Target?!"

taalismn wrote:"Okay, I sorta don't mind that we're getting corporate sponsorship for the next Robotech movie, but can we skip painting the corporate logo on our mecha? I mean...Target?!"

Robotech Master #1: "So our goal is no longer Protoculture but, cool ... refreshing Dr. Pepper?"

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:"Okay, I sorta don't mind that we're getting corporate sponsorship for the next Robotech movie, but can we skip painting the corporate logo on our mecha? I mean...Target?!"

Robotech Master #1: "So our goal is no longer Protoculture but, cool ... refreshing Dr. Pepper?"

Invid Regis: "At least you're not being expected to reformat Genesis Pits to meet the safety and hygiene standards for 'Olive Garden' franchises."
Regent: "Told you the NFL was a better bet...More blood and trauma."

"What about hockey? Multiple fights every game inolving the players AND the audience."

Arnie100 wrote:"What about hockey? Multiple fights every game inolving the players AND the audience."

"Oh sure, the Ligaa and Gurab might do well on the ice, but the Regent can't skate worth a damned."

Chronicler wrote:

SRoss wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:

THINGS NEVER TO ENHANCE WITH PROTOCULTURE

Turkeys

"That's not a protoculture enhanced turkey. THIS is a protoculture enhanced turkey."

Lisa: "You were drunk again huh?"

Lang: "Mix of turkey coma and 110 proof Russian Vodka."

Rick: "... How are you still alive?"

Gloval: "The good Doctor's got some Russian blood in him."

Most likely that Protoculture boost.

Arnie100 wrote:(Aboard The Master's Flagship...)

Robotech Master #1: "Why are the humans so fascinated with this 'Black Friday'?"
Robotech Master #2: "Honestly do no know...but they seem intent on killing each other over these 'bargains'."
Robotech Master #3: "If you saw all the stuff I bought..."
Robotech Master #1 & 2: (Staring at the hanger full of packages...)

Master #3: And I had to put our Mother ship up for sale to cover all this.

SRoss wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:(Aboard The Master's Flagship...)

Robotech Master #1: "Why are the humans so fascinated with this 'Black Friday'?"
Robotech Master #2: "Honestly do no know...but they seem intent on killing each other over these 'bargains'."
Robotech Master #3: "If you saw all the stuff I bought..."
Robotech Master #1 & 2: (Staring at the hanger full of packages...)

(Meanwhile in the Master's Chamber)
SRoss: "I can't believe the deal Kevin gave us on this Mothership."

Taalismn: "Amazon is an amazing thing."

Arnie100: "You think the Muses will appreciate the new outfits"

Most likely.

Arnie100 wrote:(Down in Monument City...)

Robotech Master #1: "How did we lose our Mothership?"
Robotech Master #2: "I blame HIM!"
Robotech Master #3: "I think we have more important things to worry about!" (Pointing at the growing mob of people)

They will never make it.

taalismn wrote:Max: "Mir, honey...perhaps I exaggerated a LITTLE BIT about 'Black Friday'...The high command wants to talk to you about that little excursion you took with your veritech and some requisitioned weaponry to the shopping mall...."

Arnie100 wrote:Random CDU Officer #1: "Should we...? (Pointing at the fleeing Masters)
Random CDU Officer #2: "NOPE." (Pointing at the chasing mob)
Random CDU Offocer #1: "RIGHT."

SRoss wrote:UEG Medic: "By the way, I hope you were paying attention to the the lecture."

UEG NCO: "Why?"

UEG Medic: "Cause you get to explain it to the Praxians."

UEG NCO:

He's in for a long night of studying.

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:UEG Medic: "By the way, I hope you were paying attention to the the lecture."

UEG NCO: "Why?"

UEG Medic: "Cause you get to explain it to the Praxians."

UEG NCO:

Praxian: "It's when the Holy Eyedropper meets a lonely Sacred Test-Tube..."

(Actually, I'm now pondering if the Praxians might have been a lost fleet of Gallforce Solenoids....)

Interesting.

Arnie100 wrote:Praxian #1: "We have to WHAT?!"
Prazian #2: "And then we have to do THAT?!"
Praxian #3: "Ohhhh...that sounds like FUN."
Praxian #1: "Teens..."

Well, it could be worse.

Alrik Vas wrote:Praxian 1: This love, what is it, how do you express it?
Medic: Well, love isn't the necessary part of baby making, it's all biological.
Praxian 2: I have heard one must be mounted to perform this act, is it done from horseback?
Mongol Warrior: In my country, everything is done from horseback.
Praxian 1: We shall battle for the mount position, then!
Praxian 2: Battle!
Medic: ooooh boy...*begins to creep away*
Mongol Warrior: Where are you going soldier!? They're challenging us!!
Medic: You don't know the TERROR.

My bet it's all down hill from there.

Arnie100 wrote:Mongol Warrior: "They can do THAT?!" (Galloping away as fast as he can)
UEG Medic: "COWARD!!"
Praxians: (Looking at the poor UEG Medic)
UEG Medic: "Mother..."

Well..., there are WORSE ways to go.

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:Mongol Warrior: "They can do THAT?!" (Galloping away as fast as he can)
UEG Medic: "COWARD!!"
Praxians: (Looking at the poor UEG Medic)
UEG Medic: "Mother..."

Somebody's been reading the Waltrips' Amazon Gazonga again...

Oh good grief.

Arnie100 wrote:(Speaking to a group of assembled Medics...)

UEG Doctor: "So who volunteers for Praxian duty?"

(Suddenly the room is empty...)

UEG Doctor: "Is that a good sign?"

taalismn wrote:"No...a 'baby boom' does not entail the use of explosives..."

Loving these.

Arnie100 wrote:"I thought we could.use the baby diapers as explosive ingredients..."
"That's different, then. Carry on."

I could see that happening.

taalismn wrote:"Okay, I sorta don't mind that we're getting corporate sponsorship for the next Robotech movie, but can we skip painting the corporate logo on our mecha? I mean...Target?!"

Ya, not good.

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:"Okay, I sorta don't mind that we're getting corporate sponsorship for the next Robotech movie, but can we skip painting the corporate logo on our mecha? I mean...Target?!"

Robotech Master #1: "So our goal is no longer Protoculture but, cool ... refreshing Dr. Pepper?"

And maybe some chips.

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:"Okay, I sorta don't mind that we're getting corporate sponsorship for the next Robotech movie, but can we skip painting the corporate logo on our mecha? I mean...Target?!"

Robotech Master #1: "So our goal is no longer Protoculture but, cool ... refreshing Dr. Pepper?"

Invid Regis: "At least you're not being expected to reformat Genesis Pits to meet the safety and hygiene standards for 'Olive Garden' franchises."
Regent: "Told you the NFL was a better bet...More blood and trauma."

Arnie100 wrote:"What about hockey? Multiple fights every game inolving the players AND the audience."

Ya, I'd say that is the better of the picks.

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:"What about hockey? Multiple fights every game inolving the players AND the audience."

"Oh sure, the Ligaa and Gurab might do well on the ice, but the Regent can't skate worth a damned."

Octavia: "Sisters, explain to me again why we must swing in these dresses and talk of douching?"

SDF-1 CREW PROBLEMS
Difficulties only those aboard the great ship could complain about...

When the Zentradi haven't attacked all week, you notice the grind of real life again. This often leads to...

WHY HAVEN'T THEY ATTACKED!? ARE WE NOT IMPORTANT ANYMORE!? WHAT IF THEY NEVER COME BACK!?

When you start to believe that all problems can be solved by the singing of a teenage girl.

When you look around the bridge and notice you're surrounded by beautiful women, you start to understand that the evil stares you get in the officer's lounge aren't because you're a Russian.

When the greatest prey is PINEAPPLE SALAD.

When your diet is mostly rubber food and your activities consist of disco dancing and cross dressing, you might be a Zentradi spy.

When you give the squadron the night off, but mom makes you go on patrol anyway.

Alrik Vas wrote:SDF-1 CREW PROBLEMS
Difficulties only those aboard the great ship could complain about...

When the Zentradi haven't attacked all week, you notice the grind of real life again. This often leads to...

WHY HAVEN'T THEY ATTACKED!? ARE WE NOT IMPORTANT ANYMORE!? WHAT IF THEY NEVER COME BACK!?

When you start to believe that all problems can be solved by the singing of a teenage girl.

When you look around the bridge and notice you're surrounded by beautiful women, you start to understand that the evil stares you get in the officer's lounge aren't because you're a Russian.

When the greatest prey is PINEAPPLE SALAD.

When your diet is mostly rubber food and your activities consist of disco dancing and cross dressing, you might be a Zentradi spy.

When you give the squadron the night off, but mom makes you go on patrol anyway.

"Those aren't problems...that's life on a daily basis."

Alrik Vas wrote:SDF-1 CREW PROBLEMS.

*When, in a small town, you're faced with the problem of 'Where'd they put Main Street THIS time?'
*Your big concern is whether you'll find your car parked where you left it, two streets over and on top of a deli, or out orbiting Saturn.
*Whether undressing in front of a window will result in an alien flotilla ramming each other.

taalismn wrote:

Alrik Vas wrote:SDF-1 CREW PROBLEMS.

*When, in a small town, you're faced with the problem of 'Where'd they put Main Street THIS time?'
*Your big concern is whether you'll find your car parked where you left it, two streets over and on top of a deli, or out orbiting Saturn.
*Whether undressing in front of a window will result in an alien flotilla ramming each other.

*With questionable Gravity Control, whether or not that dress was such a wise fashion choice.

Alrik Vas wrote:SDF-1 CREW PROBLEMS.

*That squirting Weed-b-Gone into the engine spaces wasn't such a good idea.
*Getting CANADIANS mad at you enough to ban you from their territory
*Explaining to others that you man the all-important 'crotch' weapons systems...or, in fact, that you LIVE in that section.
*Explaining why, every time you take your assigned mecha out for a spin, they wind up rebuilding half the carrier's decking and floor supports.

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Alrik Vas wrote:SDF-1 CREW PROBLEMS.

*When, in a small town, you're faced with the problem of 'Where'd they put Main Street THIS time?'
*Your big concern is whether you'll find your car parked where you left it, two streets over and on top of a deli, or out orbiting Saturn.
*Whether undressing in front of a window will result in an alien flotilla ramming each other.

*With questionable Gravity Control, whether or not that dress was such a wise fashion choice.

*When you could have sworn your house was here and not at the other end of the ship.
*When the C.O gifts the new pilots with a basket of pineapples.
*When the alien fleet decides to show up on your wedding day.
*When Lang goes on another bender and find you have a new "weapon system" strapped on your fighter.
*When you've heard the same song by the same pop-star over and over again.
*You question your sanity when a giant tuna smacks into your fighter on patrol. In space.

taalismn wrote:*Explaining why, every time you take your assigned mecha out for a spin, they wind up rebuilding half the carrier's decking and floor supports.

"But I like my Monster!"