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taalismn wrote:"You have a problem, El-tee?"
"No, Louie...it's just that I wish you used a more...confidence-inspiring...timing element for the demolition charges."
"...you don't think the Tirolians would appreciate the Mickey Mouse watch?"

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:"You have a problem, El-tee?"
"No, Louie...it's just that I wish you used a more...confidence-inspiring...timing element for the demolition charges."
"...you don't think the Tirolians would appreciate the Mickey Mouse watch?"

"I don't think they know who Mickey Mouse is..."

taalismn wrote:"Southern Cross body armor; wonderful, revolutionary stuff....personal protection unheralded in the history of personal armor. A tribute to the history and expertise of the armorer."
"...and yet they never considered how the wearer is supposed to deal with a case of the 'bunchies' under all that plate..."
"Yeah...ouch...damn wedgie...."

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:"Southern Cross body armor; wonderful, revolutionary stuff....personal protection unheralded in the history of personal armor. A tribute to the history and expertise of the armorer."
"...and yet they never considered how the wearer is supposed to deal with a case of the 'bunchies' under all that plate..."
"Yeah...ouch...damn wedgie...."

"How do you use the bathroom in these things?"
"You just had to say that, didn't you?!" (Runs off to the nearest bathroom, stripping off armor...)

taalismn wrote:"Okay, which one of you morons superglued the newbie into his body armor while he was sleeping off guard rotation? Just for that you ALL get to crowbar him out and hose him off."

taalismn wrote:'Seeing as the rest of your squad WELDED you into your armor when you were SUPPOSED to be on watch, I'm leaving you in there until you appreciate the sheer recklessness of your dereliction of duty."

SRoss wrote:
First Order Stormtrooper: "HA! HA! My armour's plastic. I can't be welded in to it." ..[/i]"

taalismn wrote:Regis: (looking at assembled Gurab) "No...just no...."
Half-dozen Yellow Gurab: "...banana...?"

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Regis: (looking at assembled Gurab) "No...just no...."
Half-dozen Yellow Gurab: "...banana...?"

"Someones been watching Minions..."

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Regis: (looking at assembled Gurab) "No...just no...."
Half-dozen Yellow Gurab: "...banana...?"

"Someones been watching Minions..."

"He's bald, you're bald, they have one eye...guess who all have one eye?"
"I get it already! And it doesn't make it funny!"
"Rand, quit mocking the Regis. She's still dangerous."

SRoss wrote:[

Regis: "You know Rand, I could use a new loofah."
e:

Arnie100 wrote:Rand: "Don't give her any ideas, Lunk!"
Lunk: "Scott also uses him for bait; erm, to scout the area, that's right..."

taalismn wrote:'Seeing as the rest of your squad WELDED you into your armor when you were SUPPOSED to be on watch, I'm leaving you in there until you appreciate the sheer recklessness of your dereliction of duty."

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:'Seeing as the rest of your squad WELDED you into your armor when you were SUPPOSED to be on watch, I'm leaving you in there until you appreciate the sheer recklessness of your dereliction of duty."

First Order Stormtrooper: "HA! HA! My armour's plastic. I can't be welded in to it."

#BLAM!#

ASC Trooper: "My armour works..."

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:
First Order Stormtrooper: "HA! HA! My armour's plastic. I can't be welded in to it." ..[/i]"

"We have plastic model cement."
First Order Stormtrooper: "THEY HAVE THE STICKINESS ON THEIR SIDE!!! RETREAT!!!!"

taalismn wrote:Regis: (looking at assembled Gurab) "No...just no...."
Half-dozen Yellow Gurab: "...banana...?"

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Regis: (looking at assembled Gurab) "No...just no...."
Half-dozen Yellow Gurab: "...banana...?"

"Someones been watching Minions..."

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Regis: (looking at assembled Gurab) "No...just no...."
Half-dozen Yellow Gurab: "...banana...?"

"Someones been watching Minions..."

"He's bald, you're bald, they have one eye...guess who all have one eye?"
"I get it already! And it doesn't make it funny!"
"Rand, quit mocking the Regis. She's still dangerous."

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Regis: (looking at assembled Gurab) "No...just no...."
Half-dozen Yellow Gurab: "...banana...?"

"Someones been watching Minions..."

"He's bald, you're bald, they have one eye...guess who all have one eye?"
"I get it already! And it doesn't make it funny!"
"Rand, quit mocking the Regis. She's still dangerous."

Regis: "You know Rand, I could use a new loofah."

Rand:

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:[

Regis: "You know Rand, I could use a new loofah."
e:

Lunk: "Annie already blows her nose in his shirt. Rook wipes her hands after working on her motorcycle on his sleeves."

Arnie100 wrote:Rand: "Don't give her any ideas, Lunk!"
Lunk: "Scott also uses him for bait; erm, to scout the area, that's right..."

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:Rand: "Don't give her any ideas, Lunk!"
Lunk: "Scott also uses him for bait; erm, to scout the area, that's right..."

Scott: "I also send him into any strange towns we come across, and not simply because he knows the language..."

taalismn wrote:Rand: "What the hey---?! My official title is FORAGER, not 'mine finder'!"

Arnie100 wrote:[
Scott: "Well, then...go ahead and make the area safe for the rest of us in the direction of that minefield."

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:[
Scott: "Well, then...go ahead and make the area safe for the rest of us in the direction of that minefield."

Scott: "Think of it as applying your 'homeground advantage'."

Arnie100 wrote:Scott: "You realize that YOU'RE the one standing on the mine?"
Rand: "That wasn't there a minute ago..."
Scott: (Facepalm...)

Arnie100 wrote:Annie: "What? I didn't do anything!"
Rand: "You guys don't actually believe that?!"
Scott: "Of course! She was with us the whole time!"
Lunk: "Yeah...I mean, look at that face!"
Lancer: "That face wouldn't lie..."

taalismn wrote:Director: "WILL YOU MORONS QUIT PLAYING WITH THE SET PYROTECHNICS AND DO SOME -ACTING WORK-???!!!! TIME IS MONEY AND WE'RE ON BOTH A SCHEDULE AND A BUDGET!!!!! ANY MORE IDIOT-ING AND WE GO WITH A KOREAN ANIMATOR!!!"

Arnie100 wrote:Tommy: "Should check the background of who I hire next time. Jerk almost gave away our secrets."
Cameraman: "Uuuuummmm...we kinda know -- AAAGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!" (Suddenly finds a knife protruding from his chest...)
Tommy: "Anyone else?"
Film Crew:
Tommy: "Didn't think so."

taalismn wrote:Rand: "What the hey---?! My official title is FORAGER, not 'mine finder'!"

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Rand: "What the hey---?! My official title is FORAGER, not 'mine finder'!"

Scott: "Isn't one of the jobs of a Forager is to make an area safe for the rest of us?"
Rand: "Yeah..."
Scott: "Well, then...go ahead and make the area safe for the rest of us in the direction of that minefield."

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:[
Scott: "Well, then...go ahead and make the area safe for the rest of us in the direction of that minefield."

Scott: "Think of it as applying your 'homeground advantage'."

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:[
Scott: "Well, then...go ahead and make the area safe for the rest of us in the direction of that minefield."

Scott: "Think of it as applying your 'homeground advantage'."

#CLICK!#

Lancer: "Um, Rand?"

Rand: "Yes, Lancer?"

Lancer: "Where did you put those mines you found?"

Rand: "Guess."

Scott, Lancer & Lunk:

Arnie100 wrote:Scott: "You realize that YOU'RE the one standing on the mine?"
Rand: "That wasn't there a minute ago..."
Scott: (Facepalm...)

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:Scott: "You realize that YOU'RE the one standing on the mine?"
Rand: "That wasn't there a minute ago..."
Scott: (Facepalm...)

"ANNIE!!!!!"

Arnie100 wrote:Annie: "What? I didn't do anything!"
Rand: "You guys don't actually believe that?!"
Scott: "Of course! She was with us the whole time!"
Lunk: "Yeah...I mean, look at that face!"
Lancer: "That face wouldn't lie..."

SRoss wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:Annie: "What? I didn't do anything!"
Rand: "You guys don't actually believe that?!"
Scott: "Of course! She was with us the whole time!"
Lunk: "Yeah...I mean, look at that face!"
Lancer: "That face wouldn't lie..."

Ariel & Sera:

taalismn wrote:Director: "WILL YOU MORONS QUIT PLAYING WITH THE SET PYROTECHNICS AND DO SOME -ACTING WORK-???!!!! TIME IS MONEY AND WE'RE ON BOTH A SCHEDULE AND A BUDGET!!!!! ANY MORE IDIOT-ING AND WE GO WITH A KOREAN ANIMATOR!!!"

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:Director: "WILL YOU MORONS QUIT PLAYING WITH THE SET PYROTECHNICS AND DO SOME -ACTING WORK-???!!!! TIME IS MONEY AND WE'RE ON BOTH A SCHEDULE AND A BUDGET!!!!! ANY MORE IDIOT-ING AND WE GO WITH A KOREAN ANIMATOR!!!"

Film Crew:

Director: "I said too much, didn't I!?!"

Tommy steps out of the shadows and slits the Director's throat...

Arnie100 wrote:Tommy: "Should check the background of who I hire next time. Jerk almost gave away our secrets."
Cameraman: "Uuuuummmm...we kinda know -- AAAGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!" (Suddenly finds a knife protruding from his chest...)
Tommy: "Anyone else?"
Film Crew:
Tommy: "Didn't think so."

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:Tommy: "Should check the background of who I hire next time. Jerk almost gave away our secrets."
Cameraman: "Uuuuummmm...we kinda know -- AAAGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!" (Suddenly finds a knife protruding from his chest...)
Tommy: "Anyone else?"
Film Crew:
Tommy: "Didn't think so."

Rand: "I've heard of character assassination but that's going ridiculously too f-"
(Tommy glares at him)
Rand: "...i'll be quiet..."

taalismn wrote:Yeah, Blooper Rand's problem is he's arguably too smart for his own good...he's like Peter Parker without the spider-sense to warn him when he's about to get smacked with a giant newspaper. Though he'd be an insufferable smartass if he didn't know enough to shut up half of the time.

taalismn wrote:Scott: "You gave Rand a Syncrocannon?! Are you insane, Graham?"
Sue Graham: "Relax! He should be all right. The field weapon was simplified for use by grunt soldiers. As long as he doesn't push the-"

Annie: "Hey, what does this red button do?"
Rand: "Huh? No, Annie! Don't push-"

Scott, Sue, Rook, Lancer, and Lunk watch as a mushroom cloud rises over the next hill.
Scott: "You were saying...?"

taalismn wrote:Dusty Ayres: "I'm sorry, Rook...I can't help it. The invid must have done something to me..."
Rook: "The Invid made your artificial arm grope my @@@@@?!"
Fusty Ayres: "...(sweatdrop)...."

taalismn wrote:Scott: "You gave Rand a Syncrocannon?! Are you insane, Graham?"
Sue Graham: "Relax! He should be all right. The field weapon was simplified for use by grunt soldiers. As long as he doesn't push the-"

Annie: "Hey, what does this red button do?"
Rand: "Huh? No, Annie! Don't push-"

Scott, Sue, Rook, Lancer, and Lunk watch as a mushroom cloud rises over the next hill.
Scott: "You were saying...?"

Chronicler wrote:

taalismn wrote:Scott: "You gave Rand a Syncrocannon?! Are you insane, Graham?"
Sue Graham: "Relax! He should be all right. The field weapon was simplified for use by grunt soldiers. As long as he doesn't push the-"

Annie: "Hey, what does this red button do?"
Rand: "Huh? No, Annie! Don't push-"

Scott, Sue, Rook, Lancer, and Lunk watch as a mushroom cloud rises over the next hill.
Scott: "You were saying...?"

Rand: "Who designs a self-destruct on a weapon!?!"

*Meanwhile on the bridge of the Haydonites ship*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJiUfnIzbVM

Arnie100 wrote:Scott: "ANNIE!! Are you alright?!"
Lunk: "You're not hurt are ya?"
Lancer: "Yeah, we saw this big explosion..."
Rook: "We were really worried about you!"
Ariel: "As longnas your alright, that's what matters..."
Sue: "It was that idiot's fault, wasnt it?!" (Pointing at Rand)
Rand: "HHHEEEYYY...and why isn't anyone worried about me?!"

SRoss wrote:Lancer: "It's a good thing our girls aren't potting against us."

Scott: "They're neophytes, they wouldn't stand a chance against us."

Rand: "You guys are forgetting they're telepathic. They can plot and you'd never know it."

Ariel & Sera:

Scott & Lancer:

Annie: (Nods)

taalismn wrote:Dusty Ayres: "I'm sorry, Rook...I can't help it. The invid must have done something to me..."
Rook: "The Invid made your artificial arm grope my @@@@@?!"
Dusty Ayres: "...(sweatdrop)...."

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:Dusty Ayres: "I'm sorry, Rook...I can't help it. The invid must have done something to me..."
Rook: "The Invid made your artificial arm grope my @@@@@?!"
Fusty Ayres: "...(sweatdrop)...."

Scott: "GOOD GOD ROOK! I know he's a killer and all, but did you have to ram his arm up there like that!?!"

taalismn wrote:Rick and Lisa walk into the conference room on the SDF-3...
...and find Admiral Gloval and Azonia, both very much alive and completely naked, doing the horizontal mambo on the conference table...
There's an awkward pause before it registers on the unclothed couple that they have an audience. An even longer pause as Gloval takes in Rick who's developing a machine-gun tic and Lisa who's gaping like a goldfish.
Gloval: "Ah, like you haven't had 'make out in an SDF's conference room' on your bucketlist?"

SRoss wrote:[

Scott: "GOOD GOD ROOK! I know he's a killer and all, but did you have to ram his arm up there like that!?!"

Arnie100 wrote:Rand: "I hope you never get mad at me like that, Rook..."

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:[

Scott: "GOOD GOD ROOK! I know he's a killer and all, but did you have to ram his arm up there like that!?!"

Rook: "Yes."

Rand: "Honestly, Scott, were you expecting any other answer from her?"

Rook: "In retrospect, well, you know, I could have done THIS."
Scott/Rand: " "
Lancer: "That's not just anatomically possible...well, at least until now..."
Ariel: *thud*
Lunk: "Rand....you are FAR braver than I can ever hope to be, knowing she's capable of that. Now excuse me while I go lose my lunch."
Dusty Ayres: "......my spleen....."

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:Rand: "I hope you never get mad at me like that, Rook..."

Rook: "That's the point of this exercise. THIS idiot is a graphic example."
Dusty Ayres: "...and my homeroom teacher didn't think I'd amount to anything in life..."

Arnie100 wrote:"What happens on the bridge, stays on the bridge."