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One good innuendo deserves three more....

Macross City Emergency Room:
Nurse: "What we got here?"
EMT: "Three males, with multiple mild lacerations, welts, dehydration, and complaining of 'sore backsides'...found dumped outside the Officer Quarter of the Military Barracks Section..."
(POV pans out to show Konda, Bron, and Rico laying semi-conscious on stretchers, their clothing in disarray, with multiple whip and bite marks visible all over their bodies....)
Nurse: "AGAIN?!!???I know those bridge personnel are under a lot of stress, but don't they have any other means of venting?! Can't they just take a chill pill?"
EMT:(looking at the groaning pile of spent, wasted, Zentraedihood)"Not that I'd volunteer to tell them..."

Ouch....

Signed,
Rathorc Lemenger.

DhAkael wrote:Post Gloval TKO, Kyle looks up at the white acoustical tiling and badly flickering fluorescent lights. He is lying on his back, wearing only a hospital gown.
LK; "This is an unfamilliar cieling"

-WANG!-

Lyn-Kyle is hit in the face by a crazed skinny young boy, using a bed-pan two handed.
Shinji Ikari; "That's my line. you wanna be hippy low-life drunken...!"

The tirade continues until orderlies come by and give Ikari Shinji 3 injections of thoraziene and a visit by Katsuragi Misato in a nurses costume.

Nurse to Misato; "Sorry, but no one on our set can stand this prig, and we honestly thought this hospital center wouldn't be used until next week by you guys."

Misato to Nurse; "Yeah...that was the plan, but Shinji-Kun here caught sight of our other house guest changing and almost died from a nose bleed."

Nurse; "No wonder we needed 3 injections...kids' got LOTS of repressed sexual tension. Should tell you about the time we had Rick Hunter down here after he almost got lucky with Min-Mei durring his 'Robinson Curusoe' trip in the SDF's cargo holds...talk about cursing a blue-streak."

Gossip continues as scene fades to black.

Unfortunately, the other house guest was Pen-Pen(or Kaji, take your pick)...
Yeah, Shinji's got some deep issues....

ummm...Taalismn.The entire RT and Eva cast has issues.

batlchip wrote:ummm...Taalismn.The entire RT and Eva cast has issues.

Everyone "has issues".
Just some of us hide them better.

drewkitty ~..~ wrote:

batlchip wrote:ummm...Taalismn.The entire RT and Eva cast has issues.

Everyone "has issues".
Just some of us hide them better.

I keep mine hidden under my bed so my mo doesn't find them . . . errr . . . more Robotech bloopers please.

Zentraedi Recycling Experts---The People who REALLY keep the Grand Fleet Going!

"Egad! What -is- this slop?!"
"You really want to know?"
"...er, no?"

(After a battle)
"Your new boots, Commander."
"Hey, I recognize these! They're from Squad Leader Nul! He was still -wearing- them when he went out on his last mission!"
"Well, they were the only still intact part we were able to recover after the battle."
"I can't wear these! THey were taken off a dead man!"
"'Permanently Reassigned', sir..and he couldn't take his kit with him."
"But...but..."
"How's the cold floor feeling through your old boots, sir?"
"...You didn't happen to recover his jacket too, did you?"
"I'll check, sir."

taalismn wrote:Zentraedi Recycling Experts---The People who REALLY keep the Grand Fleet Going!

"Egad! What -is- this slop?!"
"You really want to know?"
"...er, no?"

(After a battle)
"Your new boots, Commander."
"Hey, I recognize these! They're from Squad Leader Nul! He was still -wearing- them when he went out on his last mission!"
"Well, they were the only still intact part we were able to recover after the battle."
"I can't wear these! THey were taken off a dead man!"
"'Permanently Reassigned', sir..and he couldn't take his kit with him."
"But...but..."
"How's the cold floor feeling through your old boots, sir?"
"...You didn't happen to recover his jacket too, did you?"
"I'll check, sir."

*Shakes head and chuckles.*

"Nuk, you're a very diligent Recycling Officer!"
"Thank you, sir!"
"Always looking to recover materials for re-use!"
"Yes, sir!"
"Never wasting anything!"
"No, sir!"
"Nevere wasting an opportunity to do your duty!"
"Yes, sir!"
"Ah, you're supposed to wait until I'm dead before you can salvage and recycle my personal belongings."
"Yes, sir."
"I'm not dead yet..I'm only sleeping..."
"Just making sure, sir."
"Next time you try to 'make sure' and enter my quarters without my permission, we'll be recycling YOU.(sound of trigger lock clicking off) Understand?"
"Perfectly, sir."

taalismn wrote:"Nuk, you're a very diligent Recycling Officer!"
"Thank you, sir!"
"Always looking to recover materials for re-use!"
"Yes, sir!"
"Never wasting anything!"
"No, sir!"
"Nevere wasting an opportunity to do your duty!"
"Yes, sir!"
"Ah, you're supposed to wait until I'm dead before you can salvage and recycle my personal belongings."
"Yes, sir."
"I'm not dead yet..I'm only sleeping..."
"Just making sure, sir."
"Next time you try to 'make sure' and enter my quarters without my permission, we'll be recycling YOU.(sound of trigger lock clicking off) Understand?"
"Perfectly, sir."

Sammy:Captain we got trouble in the mess hall.
Glovel:What is it sammy a fire?
Sammy:No sir.It seems to be a fight.
Glovel:A fight! Send the MPs.
Sammy:I already did that sir.They say it's to dangerous to stop.
Glovel:To dangerous?Who's fighting?
Sammy:Minmay,Mirya and commander Hays.Sir.
Glovel:What!! Claudia take over I better break this up.(under his breath)this I gotta see.

It would be worse if it was CLAUDIA who threw the first punch....


No...strike that...she's on the bridge...It's Claudia's sister-in-law, Jean, who throws the first punch...

"Jean...just calm down....just chill out..."
"I WILL NOT!!!"
"Easy there...we're all mature adults he-*WUNCH*...eeee...*thud*"
"NOW LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!! YYYAAAARRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!"

"Oh, there's no need for you to fight over me, ladies!"
"Actually, the winner gets to disembowel you, Kyle."
"WHAT?!..in that case, carry on, ladies...I'll be...ah...why's this emergency exit locked?"

Cat fight! Would love to be a fly on the wall for that!

Alpha 11 wrote::lol: Cat fight! Would love to be a fly on the wall for that!

It gets worse...they're using actual cats...
"Man, Miriya swings a mean Pameranian, doesn't she?"
"You ain't seen nothing yet! Wait 'til you see what she can do with a Seal-point!"
"Where did Lisa get that giant Maine Coon cat?!"
"I dunno, but can she handle that much power? That thing's foaming at the mouth! It might even be rabid!"
"Vince! Down! Kitten Barrage!"

taalismn wrote:

Alpha 11 wrote::lol: Cat fight! Would love to be a fly on the wall for that!

It gets worse...they're using actual cats...
"Man, Miriya swings a mean Pameranian, doesn't she?"
"You ain't seen nothing yet! Wait 'til you see what she can do with a Seal-point!"
"Where did Lisa get that giant Maine Coon cat?!"
"I dunno, but can she handle that much power? That thing's foaming at the mouth! It might even be rabid!"
"Vince! Down! Kitten Barrage!"

drewkitty ~..~ wrote:

batlchip wrote:ummm...Taalismn.The entire RT and Eva cast has issues.

Everyone "has issues".
Just some of us hide them better.

I do not have issues...I have subscriptions

Chris0013 wrote:

drewkitty ~..~ wrote:

batlchip wrote:ummm...Taalismn.The entire RT and Eva cast has issues.

Everyone "has issues".
Just some of us hide them better.

I do not have issues...I have subscriptions

*chuckles*

ROFLMAO!!!! Those are some great bloopers! Please keep them coming! I can always use a good laugh!

Ummm... *sweatdrops* I don't quit know what to say to the cat fight ones..... But its just wrong... Flying Pu..... I'm gonna stop that thought RIGHT there, because I don't know if the joke is right for here.

Signed,
Rathorc Lemenger.

"No smoking on the bridge, Captain!"
"I was just---*SWOOOSSSHHHHHHHH*SPLUGHH*SCHHWWWAAAAAASSSHHHHHHH*!!!"
The bridge bunnies are looking at the HEAP of firefighting foam and the widenning ring of water where the Captain's chair was...
Cluadia: "Girls....have Maintenance reset the parameters of the firefighting system...he hand't even LIT the pipe..."
Vanessa: "Yeah, but I doubt he'll ever CONSIDER lighting it now..."
Sammie: "Negative reinforcement..."
Claudia: "Somebody want to get a life preserver and some warm blankets before he drowns in his seat?"
Meanwhile, enough of the fire retardant foam has slid off Gloval's head to reveal him looking like a very shell-shocked drowned rat...

taalismn wrote:"No smoking on the bridge, Captain!"
"I was just---*SWOOOSSSHHHHHHHH*SPLUGHH*SCHHWWWAAAAAASSSHHHHHHH*!!!"
The bridge bunnies are looking at the HEAP of firefighting foam and the widenning ring of water where the Captain's chair was...
Cluadia: "Girls....have Maintenance reset the parameters of the firefighting system...he hand't even LIT the pipe..."
Vanessa: "Yeah, but I doubt he'll ever CONSIDER lighting it now..."
Sammie: "Negative reinforcement..."
Claudia: "Somebody want to get a life preserver and some warm blankets before he drowns in his seat?"
Meanwhile, enough of the fire retardant foam has slid off Gloval's head to reveal him looking like a very shell-shocked drowned rat...

Returning from its misfold out beyond Pluto, the SDF-1 descends from the skies over the Pacific, its thrusters flaring...as it approaches the placid waters, the surface is blasted into steam by the thrusters as the SDF-1 makes a soft splashdown....displaced water tsunami'es from the landing point as the SDF-1 briefly disappears....then the waters rush back...
rush back...
rush back...
any moment now...
The two supercarriers suddenly bob to the surface like the Titanic in reverse....
Only the rest of the SDF-1 isn't attached..
A hatch opens on the Prometheus...Roy Fokker and his flight come out on deck...look over the side at the little bubbles popping on the surface that then dwindle and cut out altogether...
"Okay....I was SURE it could float..."

taalismn wrote:Returning from its misfold out beyond Pluto, the SDF-1 descends from the skies over the Pacific, its thrusters flaring...as it approaches the placid waters, the surface is blasted into steam by the thrusters as the SDF-1 makes a soft splashdown....displaced water tsunami'es from the landing point as the SDF-1 briefly disappears....then the waters rush back...
rush back...
rush back...
any moment now...
The two supercarriers suddenly bob to the surface like the Titanic in reverse....
Only the rest of the SDF-1 isn't attached..
A hatch opens on the Prometheus...Roy Fokker and his flight come out on deck...look over the side at the little bubbles popping on the surface that then dwindle and cut out altogether...
"Okay....I was SURE it could float..."

Now that is the reason ClonesRUS branched out into Multidimensional construction. Allows for overnight replacement of lost matterial during filming. So this was we can replace the losses quickly and effectively.

"You fools! Pay attention during rush orders like this! Attention to detail!"
"What do you do mean,sir? We've replaced the entire population of Macross City within 24 hours..."
"Oh yeah, except that Lisa isn't a Captain YET, and Gloval looks real cute in that chinese dress.."
"...d'oh!"

taalismn wrote:"You fools! Pay attention during rush orders like this! Attention to detail!"
"What do you do mean,sir? We've replaced the entire population of Macross City within 24 hours..."
"Oh yeah, except that Lisa isn't a Captain YET, and Gloval looks real cute in that chinese dress.."
"...d'oh!"

That is the reason we are insured! That way we can take care of that sort of flub and correct it! We can always shave Gloval's mustache off and dye his hair. And then hormones to Hayes and specialized surgery! Of course Gloval might need that surgery too. Of course we could just swap costumes.

Harry Leferts wrote:Glovel... in a Chinese dress... Excuse me for a moment... Taalismn you have now gone TOO far! I will NEVER get that image outta my head! I am seriously considering unleasing my army of combined Osaka/Tomo clones... backed up by a division of tanks driven by Yukari clones under the command of my greatest minion... GENERAL CHIYO MIHAMA! Or I could just do this: Either works for me!

Signed,
Harry Leferts

Don't worry...it doesn't show his legs...
Think Russian 'Tootsie'...

Oops...sorry....need some salt for those eye gouges?

taalismn wrote:

Harry Leferts wrote:Glovel... in a Chinese dress... Excuse me for a moment... Taalismn you have now gone TOO far! I will NEVER get that image outta my head! I am seriously considering unleasing my army of combined Osaka/Tomo clones... backed up by a division of tanks driven by Yukari clones under the command of my greatest minion... GENERAL CHIYO MIHAMA! Or I could just do this: Either works for me!

Signed,
Harry Leferts

Don't worry...it doesn't show his legs...
Think Russian 'Tootsie'...

Oops...sorry....need some salt for those eye gouges?

back room at Clones R Us "Personality Stamps" reads the door
*voices at yelling loudness*
"What do you mean you had to be creative?"
"They were a bunch of extras, they weren't to be anywhere near any danger zone like the stars"
"tell me, 'what do you mean you had to get creative?' NOT why you did!"
"Ok Ok man takes a chill pill. what I did was get the stamps from those dead actors.... you know Ronald Reagan, John Wayne, Marilyn Monroe, and used them on the extra's clones/ its not like they are going to notice the discrepancies...Jeasse whole families had to be remade."
"Oh yah, 'No One will notice' Lynn Kyle's dad now things 'He' is the President of the United States, and his wife is now posing for Macross Playboy. At least we gave her, her hot young body back or That would of been a Horror story."

Harry Leferts wrote:As they say on Neo Monster Island... There isn't enough alcohol in the Multiverse to make me forget the image you have just given me I'm ALMOST tempted to do something I did when I was younger... Drive my bike down a hill that's almost forty-five degrees (without brakes), hit/jump the curb at fifteen kilometers and then hit a chain link fence head first without a helmet on. I STILL don't remember anything for an hour or two after that...

Signed,
Harry Leferts

A Seive Run?
Yeah, I'm tempted to do something similar on some days...only my suicidal tendancies involve driving SLOWLY in front of tandem rigs on the highway...

This is akin to Lisa Hayes standing drunkenly in front of the air intake of a spooling-up VF's engines...

Director:"Who let Lisa into the Bar right after the rick and minmay kissing scene?"

*quietly in the background someone calls Clones-R-Us, yet again*

Lisa Hayes wakes up groggy and hungover, all too painfully aware that she's sore all over and quite naked...and not alone in bed....a mop of dark hair sticking out from under the sheets tells as much..she reaches over and turns on the bedside lamp, bracing for the pain...
"turn that damn thing off...." comes the muffled reply from the sheet-mummified figure next to her...
Lisa's hangover agony spikes with liquid-nitrogen-chilled shock as she realizes the voice, muffled as it is...is FEMALE...
Tearing the sheets off, she confirms it...yep....just as naked, just as hungover...it's Minmei...
"...rick, you have a deathwish or somethin---LISA?!!!!"
"Say nothing, Minmei...we say NOTHING.....NOTHING happened here..."

Rick hears about what happened, and takes the guys out to a bar
"yep...I feel like a fish who slipped off the hook"

Both Lisa and Minmei look up to a sound as Rick Hunter, sans shirt, stumbles in from the bathroom...
With alarm, both of them look around...yep, the room looks familiar...it's Rick Hunter's apartment...and there's male and female clothing strewn around the room...and Rick looks as hungover as they feel...
And he becomes aware of being watched..focuses his bleary eyes on the bed...jaw falls open....
"Oh *****..."
Nobody could recall WHO present said that.....














....And just then the door to the living room openned up, and in staggers Gloval,
Also in disarray....
With a micronized Azonia wearing only Gloval's dress jacket and hat perched on her head, draped over Gloval's shoulders...both also look hungover, but seem to be having a better time of it...
Gloval's stagger comes to a halt, as he suddenly realizes the room is already occupied, Azonia protesting weakly at the abrupt stop...He takes one look at the people already there staring at the two newcomers....
Gloval does some quick mental assessment and manages to croak out; "Bohzimei! WHAT were we drinking last night...."
"I dunno" comes a response from behind him, as Exedore wanders in, similarly attired to Gloval, but with Claudia being half-carried...He holds up, rather unsteadily, an empty crystal decanter..."...but it's green..."
Rick Hunter looks at his other 'house guests'..."..I may have to burn my sofa..."
"We say nothing about this..." comes a low urgent hiss, from....Minmei.
Several vigorous(and immediately regretted) nods of heads...
....Just as somethings or someones roll off the roof and fall past the windows, thumping to the ground...There's a muffled sound of what sounds like pained and inebriated cursing in German from outside...
There's a sense of paralysis in everybody in the room as they wait for the other boot to drop...




Across the street, Max Sterling, Married Man, gets up from a wonderful night with his wife and child...
"Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day..."(shisssh...sound of drapes being drawn aside...)"Good morning, sunshi.....holy...."

taalismn wrote:Both Lisa and Minmei look up to a sound as Rick Hunter, sans shirt, stumbles in from the bathroom...
With alarm, both of them look around...yep, the room looks familiar...it's Rick Hunter's apartment...and there's male and female clothing strewn around the room...and Rick looks as hungover as they feel...
And he becomes aware of being watched..focuses his bleary eyes on the bed...jaw falls open....
"Oh *****..."
Nobody could recall WHO present said that.....














....And just then the door to the living room openned up, and in staggers Gloval,
Also in disarray....
With a micronized Azonia wearing only Gloval's dress jacket and hat perched on her head, draped over Gloval's shoulders...both also look hungover, but seem to be having a better time of it...
Gloval's stagger comes to a halt, as he suddenly realizes the room is already occupied, Azonia protesting weakly at the abrupt stop...He takes one look at the people already there staring at the two newcomers....
Gloval does some quick mental assessment and manages to croak out; "Bohzimei! WHAT were we drinking last night...."
"I dunno" comes a response from behind him, as Exedore wanders in, similarly attired to Gloval, but with Claudia being half-carried...He holds up, rather unsteadily, an empty crystal decanter..."...but it's green..."
Rick Hunter looks at his other 'house guests'..."..I may have to burn my sofa..."
"We say nothing about this..." comes a low urgent hiss, from....Minmei.
Several vigorous(and immediately regretted) nods of heads...
....Just as somethings or someones roll off the roof and fall past the windows, thumping to the ground...There's a muffled sound of what sounds like pained and inebriated cursing in German from outside...
There's a sense of paralysis in everybody in the room as they wait for the other boot to drop...




Across the street, Max Sterling, Married Man, gets up from a wonderful night with his wife and child...
"Oh what a beautiful morning, or what a beautiful day..."(shisssh...sound of drapes being drawn aside...)"Good morning, sunshi.....holy...."

Oh man! That had me going!

Max: "Do I call the MPs or just pretend I didn't see what I thought I just saw...?"

taalismn wrote:Max: "Do I call the MPs or just pretend I didn't see what I thought I just saw...?"

Pretend you don't see it.

Doctor Lang wanders by, with a lampshade over his head; "Look! I'm Thomas Edison!"

Rick wakes up in bed with Lisa by his side" that was a strange dream......"
"hon" *nudges lisa*"we did send everyone home last night, Didn't we?"

drewkitty ~..~ wrote:Rick wakes up in bed with Lisa by his side" that was a strange dream......"
"hon" *nudges lisa*"we did send everyone home last night, Didn't we?"

*Roy stirs from Rick's nudge* "Yeap, what a night huh, 'little brother'."

Jefffar wrote:

drewkitty ~..~ wrote:Rick wakes up in bed with Lisa by his side" that was a strange dream......"
"hon" *nudges lisa*"we did send everyone home last night, Didn't we?"

*Roy stirs from Rick's nudge* "Yeap, what a night huh, 'little brother'."

..and Ben Dixon mutters from the floor; "Quiet, can't a guy get his beauty sleep?"

taalismn wrote:

Jefffar wrote:

drewkitty ~..~ wrote:Rick wakes up in bed with Lisa by his side" that was a strange dream......"
"hon" *nudges lisa*"we did send everyone home last night, Didn't we?"

*Roy stirs from Rick's nudge* "Yeap, what a night huh, 'little brother'."

..and Ben Dixon mutters from the floor; "Quiet, can't a guy get his beauty sleep?"

I sense a disturbance in the Force . . . like a hundred thousand fanboys screamed in anguish, and then were silenced.

taalismn wrote:

Jefffar wrote:

drewkitty ~..~ wrote:Rick wakes up in bed with Lisa by his side" that was a strange dream......"
"hon" *nudges lisa*"we did send everyone home last night, Didn't we?"

*Roy stirs from Rick's nudge* "Yeap, what a night huh, 'little brother'."

..and Ben Dixon mutters from the floor; "Quiet, can't a guy get his beauty sleep?"

*claudia enters the room LOL* "you two have been wanting to do something ever since you died, by the way rick welcome to the after life. You wouldn't remember but Lisa shoved you into an alpha's turbine when she found out you were getting it on with that reporter chick."
"what a bloody mess it was. Not even clones r us could revive you this time."

Or....
Just then, Breetai, a wet towel cinched around his waist, leaned in from the bathroom, sees Rick, and smiles...
"Morning, cuddles."
"YYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh!!!!!
CRASH!tinklecrhangatinkletinklevrunnchhCLATTERCLATTERWHAM!thumpthumpthumpthumpBOWWOWWOWOWwowomunch!thumpthumpthump....
Roy, Ben, and Breetai watch as Rick dives through his own window, through the hedge, barrels through the trash cans, goes through a fence, and runs pellmell down the road with a neighbor's dog attached to his ankle...They wander out onto the front lawn, clad in towels, as Hunter's figure disappears into the sun..
Breetai: "You're right....that was too easy..."
Roy: "Lisa? You figure you're avenged for that 'sourpuss' remark? AND Minmei staying over?"
Lisa: (emerging from bushes in camou gear with a camcorder) "Oh yeah...You guys were great...I just gotta catch him now before he does something stupid..."
Ben:"Great...fun as that was...gotta get my pants now..."
Lisa: "About that..."
ZHIP!PHIP!TwANG!"
The three men suddenly find their towels whipped away...showing that yes, they did go commando...several camera flashes reveal the presence of a dozen female RDF personnel...
Breetai: "Wha....?!"
"Kazianna Hesh couldn't make it, but she's paying TOP dollar for these pics..."

Those had me roling guys! Great job!

Some how, I CAN picture these latest bloopers happening.... Although the one with the group makes me wonder.... Did they do go Greek? Just kidding with that, folks.

Signed,
Rathorc Lemenger.

"Fire the Neutron-S Missiles!"
"But, sir!...."
"Earth must not fall to the Invid! I have been authorized to make that decision by the Tirolian Council! It's a decision I wish I didn't have to make, but I must make it! Fire Neutron-S missiles NOW!"
:"Yes sir...it's just that.... Well, sir, the Neutron-S missiles are still in orbit of Tirol..."
"And..."
"Your firing console is rigged to our FTL comm-array..."
"...oops..."

Rathorc Lemenger wrote:Some how, I CAN picture these latest bloopers happening.... Although the one with the group makes me wonder.... Did they do go Greek? Just kidding with that, folks.

Signed,
Rathorc Lemenger.

Robotech Masters come in chanting 'TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!!!"
Leonard:(Looking out of his window) "Damn drunken frat pledges..."

drewkitty ~..~ wrote:

*claudia enters the room LOL* "you two have been wanting to do something ever since you died, by the way rick welcome to the after life. You wouldn't remember but Lisa shoved you into an alpha's turbine when she found out you were getting it on with that reporter chick."
"what a bloody mess it was. Not even clones r us could revive you this time."

Speaking of Susan Graham....

"I got....pictures of an Invid...with a human body....bleeding green...."
"Yes, Graham, but were they worth your life?"
"Actually, she didn't..."
"What do you mean, Lancer?"
(holding up camcorder)"See...her range finder works just fine, but she left her lense cover on!"
"...oh(gasp) crap!(gurgle-thud-deathrattle)"