Network Omni News

[taalismn]

...at least until the next Emperorstepped out of the shadows and restored order...then made his first order of business knocking off the killers of his predecessor....

Or, unless they fly away into the sunset knowing th new galactic Dark Age is THEIR fault...

[Aramanthus]

Actually the empire ended up shattering into about 30 seperate little nations.

[taalismn]

Network Omni Newsflash
Dateline: 07/298677/631236422

Wulfen Resprt World Drops Out of Communication Web: Mystery Solved!
----Habelane, Gora Sector, Wulfen Independent Packworlds Confederation, Thundercloud Galaxy. Answers are now forthcoming concerning the ceasation of communications from the celebrated WIPC resort world of Tromalar, some eighteen hours ago. In a NON exclusive, our informed sources have received information that may shed light on the mystery.
Our affiliate mini-station on the temperate and largely water-world sent us this video-postcard shortly before the communications blackout that has persisted ever since...

(Image of a wood and plas floating quayside, boardwalk lined...with various small buildings and gazebos lining it...various guadily-dressed tourists, mostly Wolfen, desporting themselves along the walkways or looking down at the many small boats and watercraft tied up alongside.
In the foreground is a cafe of some sort, with umbrella'ed tables and colorful chairs, with a pair of wolfen digging into a heaping plate of steamed -achrakha-, a local delicacy; large round crustaceans with a single large horn sticking up out the middle, flanked by two large claws...
Visible beyond the eatery deck is the horizon of blue ocean, and framed between the two diners, in the distance, perhaps half a mile, is a massive pylon-like horn arising from the water, flanked by two massive claws...the horn must be at least a hundred feet tall...)

Needless to day, we've made this picture available to WIPC authorities, who have immediately dispatched a sector defense fleet to the planet.
We hope to have more on this rapidly-evolving situation.

[Aramanthus]

That is a great HLS Taalismn.

[taalismn]

Careful when you eat seafood...

[Aramanthus]

Reminds me of a Futurama episode!

[taalismn]

Network Omni Newsflash:
Dateline: 08/010045/3163723153591

Survivors of Megalithic Warehouse Collapse Saved by Videogamer!
- ---Ralstard's World, Lomenac IX, Gena Sector, CCW, THundercloud Galaxy. Employees of yesterday's catastrophic collapse of 'MOllan's MegaWarehouse of Savings' are attributing their survival to a young employee's love of archaic videogames.
When the famous mile-high scaffolding of MMWoS suddenly buckled from excessive load stresses yesterday afternoon, several megatonnes of fifty-foot square cargo containers proceeded to rain down on terrifyed employees below, putting over two hundred warehouse workers and shoppers at risk of being fatally squashed. Even with the relatively low gravity of Ralstard's World, there was clearly not enough time for everybody to reach safety...BUt for the well-honed reflexes of young Ramseed Megneck, self-proclaimed 'archaeo-electronic slacker' and afficionado of early-concept electronic games, who saw imemdiate parallels between the looming catastrophe and and his favorite video entertainment...
"It was just like 'Stacker'" explained a modest Megneck after the disaster; " It was a simple exercise to start altering the fall of all those shipping containers with my cargo tractor beam.."
And indeed he did, snagging cargo pods and clumping them into loose structures to ctach other falling pods, and divert their course, slowing them down long enough to buy running employees and customers enough time to reach safety. He even managed to save valuable inventory, soft-landing it on top of other, more expendable, cases, before his own station was nearly crushed by falling containers....
"Okay, I admitt, I was hogging for a higher point score and it almost cost me big." Megneck confessed abashedly, when asked why he remained at his station even after everybody else has gotten out safely.
His fellow employees are less abashed about proclaiming the 'newbie's' heroism; MMWoS has already voted him Employee of the Month and promised him a major pay raise once repairs are completed to Molan's new facility.
However, Megneck regrets he can't take up the offer made by his fellow archaeo-game fanatics to a champsionship 'Stacker' marathon..."Oldest hazard in the trade.....that may have been my finest performance, but I also got 'gamer's wrist'...'joystick-lash', so I won't be doing any repeats until the tendons heal..."

[Aramanthus]

LOL That was a great news story! I've got some friends who love video games like that in the news story.

[taalismn]

Well....after all that 'Space Invaders', why not some 'Tetris'?

[Aramanthus]

ROFLMAO!!! That makes sense!

[taalismn]

I really don't wanna imagine what situation a profficiency in 'Pacman' would come in handy...

[Aramanthus]

I can't think of anything worse. What about centipede?

[taalismn]

I can't think of anything worse. What about centipede?

Frogger?

[Aramanthus]

Aaaaarrrrgggghhhhh! Not frogger! :::Ducking and running for cover.::: Help! There are frogs swarming the city!

[taalismn]

"Quick, break out the sautee pans and bread crumbs!"

[Aramanthus]

For those who love those frog legs that is. I've never had them and really don't plan on trying them. I will always think of frog as either wild creatures, pets, or bait for large mouth bass.

[taalismn]

Network Omni Newsflash
Dateline: 08/09811/12737123971237


Neo-Barbarian Brewmeisters Offer Reward for Distillery Thieves
---Novo BownKrak, Axehead System, Dershaun Sector, Badlands Confederation, Thundercloud Galaxy. The Larhold owners of Blue Flame Distilleries are offering a multi-million credit reward for the return of their missing distillery, following the daring and mysterious theft of their primary BownKrak facility.
The BownKrak distillery, locally famous for its production of Blue Flame's signature whiskey of the same name, disappeared three days ago during the night.(footage of a large shiny new facility with sheds and large tanks...then an image of the same area, only the distillery complex is completely GONE, with only a scooped-out crater left behind). At first thought to be a tragic industrial accident, indications are now that the whiskey works were deliberately taken, either by dimensional magic or advanced matter-portation technology. No ransom demands have been made, but Blue Flame Distilleries has already put out a demand for the facility's return...
(Cut to image of a large scar-covered Larhold in dreadlocks, but wearing a modern-cut silver-scale executive jacket...and a necklace of finger bones. He is identified as MARGROG SKULLPILER, CEO, BLUE FLAME DISTILLERIES)
Skullpiler: "Brhk num rogg auhn nggh brab urm raghn nok groown bla! Augha phlagb bhrac hmggh robh nagh balog krogg!*("This theft against our clan cannot go unanswered for! We demand vengeance, and put a blood-price of 10 million credits for the return of our property and the heads of those responsible!")

At the time of its disappearance, it is estimated that the Blue Flame Distillery had warehoused at least nine million credits in liquid stock....There have been no signs of the missing facility.

[Aramanthus]

:::A large silvery saucer is seen weaving to and fro as it flys thru deep space. A large set of buildings hodge podgely attachyed to the underside of the saucer. Inside are a company of smallish grey aliens all of whom appear to be very happy!:::

:::Alien leader::: "I told you that it waz a good ideaa to pick up thoose guys booze plant!"

:::Alien #1::: "You waz dead onnnnnn! It waz a killar plan to steal their plant! Butttt I waz the one who waz smart enuff to say someting about takin the warehoussss. That way we could drink on our way to the next partee."

:::Alien Leader::: "Youse were right on! Next time we have to leave our mark somwhereee."

:::Alien #2::: "Oppss! Hey boss!"

:::Alien Leader::: "What do you want twoooo?"

:::Alien #2::: "I left a mark. You know what you always ask before a party mission. Did everone do their business? Well I did mine right smack dab in the dead center of that crater we left! That well tell those larheadz not to have their booze so expensive."

:::Alien Leader; slaps head and glares at Alien #2::: "You dolt, now they'll know it was us."

:::Alien #2::: "Oppss! They ain't gonna catch us! Those Larheadz are tooooo stopid!!!! We could moon them during the day and they wouldn't know any better."

:::Aliens start shouting at each other as the camera pans backwards thru the wall of the silvery saucer.:::

[taalismn]

...in space nobody can hear you belch....

[Aramanthus]

LOL Hope you enjoyed that one!

[taalismn]

Network Omni Newsflash
Dateline: 08/102002/234422466326

Centralist Imperium Continues to Crush Feuding Families, Seeks Help
----Takamar VI, ViCo System, Yhem Sector, Thundercloud Galaxy. The Empress Viyn Mahzzarine IV of the ViConi Imperium continues to draw both praise and censure in her efforts to put an end to over 2,000 years of bitter inter-family blood-fueding that have torn the upper echelons of her planet for centuries....
Takamar's strongly traditional society, though moving from feudalism to a more modern capitalist middle-class state, is still dominated by aristocratic families and a strong honor-code conducive to grudges....
"The higher-class citizenry around here are strong on family honor, heritages, traditions, histories, and unfortunately disputes..." reported CCW Sociologist Gertrun Barr of the Encylopedia Galactica, "Feuds over murders, outcomes of battles, accidents, real and imagined personal slights, even an unpaid tavern bill...all of them get recorded into the fabric of a family's personal honor....It becomes a reason to hate and distrust other families...an event to date all misfortunes from and scapegoat a family for...And even if a clan does forgoe vengeance and avoids engaging another family in open combat, the grudge just festers...then a thousand years later some chucklehead resurrects the old feud and people begin dying again.."
The result has been two thousand years of constant warfare and disruptions of daily life as entire family economic blocs have gobe to war, duels have been fought, and entire generations crippled or extinguished.
The trend began to reverse under Empress Mahzzarine the First, who established a strong central government and managed to place vital industries under government protection and an army established of commoner troops. Her successors have built on that core achievement, wresting more and more power away from the aristocratic clans, and cementing the support of the growing middle class. which has remained largely free of the bloodfueding so common to the older clans.
Empress Mahzzarine IV appears determined to stamp out the violence between the clans once and for all...Her policies of using government trrops and courts to intervene forcibly in inter-clan squabbles has drawn fire from the oligarchs, who claim her actions smack of tyranny, and praise from the lower classes, who have often been caught in the crossfire of violence....More telling has been her doctrine of investigating all blood feuds.....then imprisoning, and even executing, those who stood most to gain from the feuds....Reportedly, over 50,000 clan members have already been arrested or set to exile, and another 5,000 killed by government tr0ops in defiance of the ban on blood-feuds. However, as the program proceeds, so has the violence, and the Empress has recently put out a call for fair-minded recruits from outside the IMperium to join in her efforts to impose peace.
In a public release, Empress Viyn Mahzzarine IV called upon "Those of a fair conscience, but ready determination to do what is necessary...Those without connection or history in this land to tie them to the cycles of violence that beset us...Those that because of their origins outside our realm have not the blood enemies to drive them...only the recent enemies their actions as enforcers of the peace are sure to bring them..."
Those seeking service with the ViConi Imperium's PeaceForce are advised to contact the regional ViConi Embassy for details....

[Aramanthus]

That is a great HLS! I'm going to have to use that one in my next game! I'm not sure when we'll get back to the game, but someday soon!

[taalismn]

Basically the Empress wants the whole stupid business put to an end, but doesn't want to simply wipe out the aristocracy or put clan-affiliated troops where they can settle out grudges under the apparent blessing of the government, so she's shopping for 'people without histories', at least in regard to the local feuding....people who can be trusted to be impartial, but also not shirk from putting pain on a bunch of insular chuckleheads...

The idea's sort of 'What if Shakespeare's Dodge of Verona had met the Montaigue and Capulet love-fest with a mercenary assassin team to take out the heads of BOTH families while the SWAT teams kept the lower rankers off each others' throats...rather than simply tell them to keep away from each other'...(actually, I did like the DiCaprio adaptation with the 'Verona Beach' police department descending in police helicopters and SWAT snipers drawing beads on the two families...)

[taalismn]

Network Omni News *Update*
Dateline:08/134457/634328942349

*Possible Interruption of Service Possible Outside Three Galaxies*
----Network Omni News Broadcasting Division would like to alert our out-dimension affiliates in the PB01001000-Baseline dimensional lines that regular news and update downloads may be temporarily interrupted between 08/14000 and 08/22000....Our wormhole transmission systems are being upgraded and our superstring warp-flux arrays temporarily 'rested' for regular routine maintenance. Regular service will resume after this downtime. Regular news and entertainment services in the affected dimensional regions will be unaffected. Local NON affiliates and private stations able to work around the dimensional gaps are encouraged to do so to maintain some dataflow from the Three Galaxies.
We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause our many subscribers and viewers, and we will resume service as soon as inhumanly possible with our full array of features.
Thank you...


(Seal of Cybbysscrythh, CEO and Chief Editor, Network Omni News)

[Aramanthus]

Have a great vacation!


Hmmmm


:::Looking around and walking thru the offices. Evil thoughts!:::

[Aramanthus]

:::Static begins to clear. A small figure appears in the center of the image. It is dressed in a romanesque centurion outfit. The face has no features except two white spots which have to be eyes.:::

"People of the Three Galaxies! May I present you MOANS; which stands for Martian Overlord Analytical News Service. It seems your primary news carrier has placed their new news materials on hiatus! So we free Martians will attempt to provide a source of unprejudiced news to you. Feel free to sit back in your chair, you'll notice some special straps that'll come out of the back of your chair. Do not worry about them, they are to help you control your reactions to any bad news." :::He looks at the screen very intently and then mutters.::: "Alright who put that bad joke about How many Earthlings does it take to screw...... The joke wasn't suppose to happen until just before sports."

:::From off camera.::: "Ummm Sorry!!! We'll get this right Sir!"

:::The little martian continues::: "Todays top news story the stellar winds in the Nutaroo is up too .4 cee making travel in system dangerous for any ducks............... " :::Looks off camera again.::: "Excuse me, Ducks? Shouldn't that be Starships?"

:::From off camera yet another voice.::: "Um no, sir. I have ducks and wabbits on my mind!"

"I'll give you ducks and wabbits!" :::And then the newscaster leaps offstage and you hear the beginnings of a fight. Then the screen fades to a sign which is labeled "Technical problems" as the screen fades to black:::

[Aramanthus]

:::The screen goes back into focus and focuses on the small humanoid in romanesque armor whose helmut is on sideways, and his outfit is torn and dishevelled. He readjust his helmut and his outfit.:::

"Pardon the last interruption viewers. Remember we give the news as it is honest and unbiased unlike our erstwhile competition."

"Now back to the news. Today Paxt-pa-toosa reported that the strange alien satellite which appeared over their planet two weeks ago has caused great alarm with their militarys. There have been several attempt at first to communicate with it, and then to disable it. Both of these methods had no affect on the satellite. We have been informed that the CCW is dispatching heavier military forces and a scientific contingent to deal with the problem. We can't wish them well because we have to remain neutral in all matters."

:::The little humanoid shuffles several stacks of paper.:::

"Our next story revolves around our competitor OmniNews. It seems that their primary owner is off apparently on vacation. Well, we have it from good sources that he is out hunting rare species of avian life on the independent planet Kraq-i-tobias. The planet is famed for it multitude of volcanos. And it's also known for the rarely seen fainting humanoid duckloids. We believe he's hunting the duckloids. We are dispatching one of our reporters there to report on it! Its time for a commercial break."

:::The screen fades and then comes back up to full intensity. It shows two obvious kids sitting at a table for eating. They both look bored with what they're eating. Then the narrator picks up.::: "Do you have problems getting your kids to eat their food. Now we offer you monster in a can. Just threaten to open one and your kids will eat their food. without back talking." :::The scene cuts back to a mother obviously screaming at her children in one scene and pulling her hair out while storming out of the kitchen. In the next scene you see the same people in the kitchen along with one other child in there. The kids aren't eating their food and are actually throwing it around the kitchen, the mother walks over to a cabinet and pulls a can from them. She then reads the instruction. The camera focuses on the words "just add water". So she opens the can and adds a small drop glass of water to the contents you poured out. In an instant there is this huge hairy monster which moves quickly over to the children. It grabs the neighbors kids and shoves him into it's slavery mouth. It chews for a few seconds then swallows, it then starts eyeing the other children. The remaining children seeing this immediately start devouring their food. Both the mother and monster smile. Then this light and happy theme song starts playing in the background as the screen goes to black.:::

[Alpha 11]

Man that was funny!!

[Aramanthus]

I'm glad someone enjoyed it. I'll being trying to add something today.

[Aramanthus]

:::The scenery fades in. You see a vast forested valley. All looks peaceful at the present. Then suddenly you see birds and other avian creatures take flight. Then you see trees falling down in the distance as if some great beast were moving thru them. Then you see a suit wearing duckoid holding a mike as if waiting for the sign he's on.:::

"Good morning all from here on Kraq-i-tobias. Today you can see that this beautiful planet is starting to be violated in the harshest means possible. Its inhabitants are becoming the subject of a hunt by that despicable Splugorth enemy of all the owner of the OmniNews Network. And just because we are rivals doesn't mean that we are out to get them as some have indicated."

:::The camera pans back to the forested section that is collapsing due to some large creature moving around when you hear the distinctive sound of a large caliber weapon being discharged. Then even more creatures begin the flee the area. You start seeing land animals start to pass them camera.:::

"We are planning on confronting our opposition and see what he has to say about this horrifing report of his hunting sentients. Now we'll board our hover car and fly over there to talk to him about these accusations."

:::The camera pans as it watches the reporter get into his hover car, then it turns off for a second as it gets in also. Then it returns to broadcasting as the hover car begins to lift off. It flies towards the area of the forest where the trees have been falling and the birds seen flying from. As it passes over the camera focuses on the vast bulk of a splugorth. Only at this time this particular splugorth is wearing a a red and black plaid hunting jacket fitted for a being of his side. And on top of its main eye rest a hunting cap that matches the jacket. It carries a huge gun, one might call it an artillery piece. The hover car lands nearby as the eye follows its landing.:::

:::The splugorth speaks quietly while issuing a shhhing sound from one of it's mouths,::: "be very quiet I'm hunting wabbits and duckoids."

:::The duckoid reporter::: "Sir I resemble that remark!"

:::The unblinking eye of the splugorth seems to focus on the reporter::: "So you do!" :::The huge cannon swings around to cover the reporter. The trigger is pulled and you hear a large boom and a flash.:::

:::There is a cloud of smoke and dirt that settles after a few minutes. The reporter is standing there in disarray. His clothing soiled with soot and his bill having been holed in various locations. His blood shot eyes focus on the hunting splugorth.::: "That sir was uncalled for."

:::The gun is leveled again at the reporter and the trigger is again pulled filling the surrounding valley with another boom.:::

:::Again the cloud of smoke and dirty settles to the ground after a few minutes. The reporter is in even more disarray.::: "I dare you to do that again."

:::The gun is leveled for a third time and fired. This time all of the surrounding animals have fled the scene.:::

:::For the third time the smoke and dust settles to reveal a pile of ash and a bill, which seemingly moves of its own accord.::: "You know of course this means WAR!"

:::The scene fades to black.:::

[taalismn]

hmmmm...you've been busy...maybe I won't immediately come back to work....

[Aramanthus]

I hope you enjoyed the rest. Its been fun.

[Aramanthus]

:::A few hours later in a small lab you see the bill and pile of ash that use to be the reporter. A short little pig-like alien reaches up towards a lever. His hand falls short of reaching it. He goes and gets a step stool. He then tries to pull the lever and succeeds. There's a lot of crakling and the smell of electrically generated ozone fills the lab. The pile of debris that used to be the reporter starts to regenerate a form. After a few seconds the reporter is standing in the tube. He opens his mouth.:::

"It's very painful to be dis-integrated!"

:::The pig-like alien,::: "Sir, I managed to avoid getting disintegrated by the sploogie canon. And I've got the camera to show him smirking after he disintegrated you."

:::The duckoid reporter,::: "He did! Well, we have to do something to get revenge on him."

::: Pig-like Alien::: "I took the liberty of making sure we have the "Acme" catalog for revenge products. And I drew up some plans for you to look at wyhen you have a chance, sir!" :::Points over to a drawing board with stacks of paper on it!:::

:::The duckoid reporter goes over and starts looking at the schematics. And pulls the top one right off saying loudly,::: "AHHA!!! This one will do! I'll get my.....I mean we'll get out revenge on this over stuffed bean bag chair!" :::He looks around for something.::: "Where is the phone, studious assistant cameraman?

:::The Pig-like alien points over to a stylish ultra modern phone.::: "Over there your reportership, sir!"

:::The Duckoid runs over to the phone and dials a special number.:::

:::Someone picks up on the other end.::: "Acme! What can we do for you today?"

:::The duckoid reporter,::: "I want a Q35-10 kingsized delivered to me pronto."

:::The Acme rep,::: "Which model do you want? The V outdoor model with it's heavy gravity adjustment chip? The T - model with it's pure nuetronium material. Or do you want the simple L- model, with it's pure iron composition?"

:::The Duckoid reporter,::: "I can only afford the L - model."

:::The Acme rep,::: "No problem sir. We can have that too you in 15 or 20 minutes depending on traffic."

:::The duckoid reporter rubs his hands together,::: "good! That'll be fine. Just deliver that here as soon as possible."

:::A few minutes later a hover delivery truck appears outside the lab. A non-descrpit delievery man gets out and hands the large and heavy package to the duckoid who immediately ends underneath it, with only his bill sticking out from under it.:::

:::The pig-like alien looks down at the reporter.::: "Do you need help? Or can I go an watch tri-dee?

:::The bill utters,::: "No, go ahead and watch tri-dee. I don't need any help getting out from this 16 ton crate."

:::The pig-like alien::: "Oh, in that case bye!"

:::The bills sputters for a second and then screams very loudly.::: "Get me out from under this thing! NOW!!!!

:::The scene fades to black.:::

[taalismn]

Ouch....I've tuned into Comedy Galactic Center...

[Aramanthus]

I have to throw some comedy out their. It's to illustrate the incompetence of the competitors of OmniNews.

[taalismn]

*Shot of desolate hemitite-tinted wastes as POV pans past a solitary robotic rover trundling across the desert...as its camera pylon slowly rotates to scan its surroundings....)
*BLAMBLAMBLAM**PHOOWZEEEEEE*ZOWEEEHHHHHH*CHUNCACHUNCACHUNCA*
The desert gets ripped up behind it....a Roman helmet comes scurrying madly into view, a pair of sneakers beneath it treading madly as energy blasts, kinetic penetrator rounds, and rocket-propelled grenades chew up the desert behind and around it. The dented helm, its horsehair crest smoking from a near-hit, dodges behind a hillock as another figure comes running after...
This figure is a half-sized, large-headed Kittani with large whiskers and cut-down Serpent Power Armor, both arms holding what look like NG Super laser pistols with belt-feed grenade launchers feeding from a backpack, and a Skelebot-style light rail gun attached to each of them...all barrels are balzing..."
Kittani: "Get back here you varmint! How dare you photoshop the Great Editor into some sort of buffoon!? All to sell supposed news!? What do you think this is?!?! A competitive marke-(suddenly notices the rover camera looking at)...Well, Hell-O! (stops his pursuit and takes on a very calm demeanor)...Our apologies to our supportive audience out there. We're still working to restore our regular news service through several technical problems in maintaining contact with your dimensional level. Our technicians are currently attempting to remedy the problem of punching through strong signals to this alternity by establishing an artificial singularity wormhole...Should your resident psychic population suddenly have flashes of impending disaster, dreams of large holes in the sky swallowing your planet, or demonic invasions, do not be alarmed...this phenomenon coincides all the time with the openning of rifts...Should your planet experience massive gravitational sheer, global rains of frogs, and large monstrous shadows appearing over your major cities, please contact our technical assistance lines immediately...It may indicate a mis-aligned, mis-located, or criminally co-opted dimensional gateway....
We again apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused our regular audience, but rest assured, our normal schedules of informative and educational programming will soon resume. Thank you...
(turns back to the hillock where the Martian disappeared) YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE, TABLOID-PUNK! YOU AND BAT-BOY BOTH!!!!"
*BLAMBLAMBLAM**PHOOWZEEEEEE*ZOWEEEHHHHHH*CHUNCACHUNCACHUNCA*

[Aramanthus]

ROFLMAO!!! I love how you fore shadowed the Series by Carl in your latest opost. I'll post a response later today!

[Aramanthus]

:::The camera opens to a forested glen and the sight of a little martian in a damaged and burned roman centurian outfit coming to a stop. He looks behind himself and sees it's clear from being persued. And his breathing slows down after a few seconds of huffing and puffing hard. He reaches into a pocket in his outfit and pulls out a remote control, which has six buttons on it's face. (There is a bright candy like red button. There is in this order a orange button, a yellow button, a green button, a blue button and finally a purple button.) He pushes the yellow button and smiles. A few minutes later a flying saucer lands nearby. He climbs aboard and takes off.:::

"I'll get that little weasel!" :::He presses several switches and humming insues. On the outside of the saucer a long barrel slides out of a housing. It locks into place witha loud click.:::

"The scanners indicate he's right down there. I can get him now! :::He begins to laugh manically as he angles the saucer to point in the coorect direction as the target. And his finger comes down on the firing button. The weapon discharges in a blaze of white light, producing an intense beam of light which streaks towards its intended victim. The laughter rises to a manical pitch!::: "See how you like being shot at you earthling!"

:::The camera fades to black.:::

[taalismn]

A hover van pulls up in the middle of nowhere(actually the heart of the Martian desert)...two deliverymen get out, go around the back...look around for a moment...consult an electronic clipboard and a GPS link....nod their heads in a 'whatever' gesture, and open up the back of the van to take something out,...They heft it, then hold it horizontally at about shoulder height and start walking out into the desert...Just as a small armored Kittani figure comes bounding between them, underneath the whatever it is...
POV draws back to reveal the lettering on the side of the van, with the above action taking place in the background...Fast readers will be able to make out ULTRA-ACME ENERGY REFLECTIVE CONCAVE DISH COMPANY DELIVERIES just as a flash and bar of light streak down on the three beings in back...
Cut to skyborne shot of the beam of light suddenly streaking back in the OPPOSITE direction and go streaming back into the distance where a just barely visible flying saucer craft is flying...there's a distant "Oh *mertz*!" before the small craft explodes in a Grand Finale-style pyrotechnic display....

[Alpha 11]

I wonder if this will get to 150 or 200?

[Aramanthus]

:::A humanoid rabbit steps forward and says;::: "Could be bub!"

[taalismn]

Network Omni Newsflash
Dateline: 09/0321432/5236623664

INterrupted SErvice to Sol Out-Dimension Continues Amidst Surprise Financial Freeze
---Espeas NewsNode, New Delza System, Chamtug Sector, THundercloud Galaxy. Network Omni News regrets to inform its out-dimension viewers in Sol-Line *(67875857 that recent interruptions in service will continue, with an expansion of service-response delay to otehr dimesnional threads as well, owing to a recent freeze on the facilities of our subcontractor stations servicing the effected regions.
TDM Home Wormholes Inc. has recently had its realy stations shut down as a result of ongoing financial transaction difficulties with its hypercom servicer SolLink, with delays expected to last a Standard Week or more as accounts are settled.
"It's embarassing for a service such as our own to say this," reported an anonymous company officer of TDM HWInc., "But we're waiting for the check to clear before we can resume our original rapid-feed to the hypergrids.I'm not saying that we won't be able to get ANYTHING through, just that we won't be able to move the sort of high volume we're used to through our normal network connections....WE've be using smaller-capacitance local public-access feeds, but we WILL be getting stories through...and once our regular comlinks are unfrozen, we should be back to business as normal...until the next crisis."

(OOC...yep, Earthlink froze me without warning because a check was late....I guess they're still annoyed that I caught them dipping directly into my checking account without my permission and INSISTED on paying by good old fashioned check....so they're firing a shot across my bow...THEN, when the check clears, I'll discover technical problems...another five hours on the phone.. .....Until then, I'll be using otehr means to keep up with the rest of you...)

[Aramanthus]

That really stinks that they are doing that to your account Taalismn! I wonder if anybody else has had issues with them?

[taalismn]

They used to be locally based...now if you want service, you're calling the other side of the world....Real hassle...And just one more indignity heaped on long-time customers...

[Aramanthus]

I believe my ISP is the same!

[taalismn]

Network Omni Newsflash
Dateline: 09/084321/2363434568

TGE Claims Demonic Cult Behind Recent Planetary Unrest
---Amoragos, Heflan System, Zera Sector, TransGalactic Empire, Corkscrew Galaxy. Official sources in the TransGalactic Empire claim that the unrest on the world of Amoragos, where TGE Legions have been fighting insurgenst for the past eighteen months, is being instigated by demonic forces, and that the self-proclaimed 'freedom fighters' are actually dupes of dark forces, or are the willing servents of demonic beings.
TGE media-representatives cite the discovery by TGE military forces of several 'dark temples' where several thousand people were systematically slaughtered, apparently as sacrifices to suummon demonic beings to send against TGE Legionnaires..."While some of the people were volunteers, many were not." explained a Legionnaire captain who also appeared in the press release.."These so-called 'freedom fighters' that the Amoragoan people are so lauding, are misleading them, and are in fact black-hearted villians intent only on slaughter for their demonic masters and their own lust for power...Fortunately, their ploy has come to naught---our forces are more than able to deal with what abominations their atrocities have managed to conjure up, and our brave Legionnaires have overwhelmed several fo their sacrificial camps."
"Amoragos is clearly a victim here...not of Imperial aggression as their proppagandists would have the THree Galaxies believe," stated TGE Sector Viceroy Hadash ReKal'n, "...but of a monstrous conspiracy, aided no doubt by similarly misguided and opportunistic agencies from offworld...Our people are LIBERATING these people from the grip of darkness, as the truth will prove."
Spokesbeings for the rebel forces of Amoragos categorically deny the charges by the TGE, claiming that the temples cited in the TGE release were 'peaceful community religious centers', and have decried the 'atrocities perpetuated by TGE thugs and mass-murderers, then disguised to look like the actions of dereanged cultists', and claim that their own proof will 'show the people of the Three Galaxies the truth of the brutalization of the sovereign Amoragoan people."

[Aramanthus]

That was a great HLS to the minion wars Taalismn!

[taalismn]

I t could be a lead-in, but remember, given the fact that the TGE is being run by an Alien Intelligence, the situation could be either or both sides consorting with Dark Forces...
Ah, such is the ambiguity of war....

[Aramanthus]

I can see that Alien intelligence really wanting those demonic forces to stay out of it's territory! Don't you?

[taalismn]

Network Omni Newsflash
Dateline: 09/1186723/3245457824

Medakii to Auction Off Population to Pay for Social Reforms
----Medakii Fordosa, Faghri System, Moris Sector, Corkscrew Galaxy. The Reformed People’s Association of Medakii has announced that it is going ahead with plans to sell off over a third of its population to offworld concerns as part of its sweeping reform of its society. Plans have been finalized to commence large-scale sales starting next month.
The auctions come a year after the RPAM first announced its intention to solve the planet’s long-running economic and social unrest with a ‘downdrawing’ of its six billion plus population and ‘reallocation of available and economically viable resources’, with a re-alignment of its society. Part of the plan to radically alter Medakii society was the removal, via slave sales, of non-participants in the ‘new society’ program...sales that would also subsidize much-needed reforms and defray re-alignment costs. The intervening year has seen a finalization of the population re-allocation lists, indentification and pacification of diseenting elements, and an off-world public relations campaign to maximize interest in the coming sales.
“We just want to re-assure potential customers.” announced Webra Lux’d, Ministress of Populace Re-Tasking in a press conference related to the coming auctions.”We aren’t just going to be dumping the dregs of our planet on the galactic market...We’ve included a broad spectrum of merchandise from across the social scales....we have workers, soldiers, police, engineers, professional politicians, celebraties, fashion models, social workers, scientists.....all who no longer have a place in our reformed society.....so we have something for everybody...No, we guarantee that buyers will find something they want or need in our offerings....and at reasonable prices, too.”
The RPAM population sales have met with numerous protests from sentient rights groups, but those protests have fallen on deaf ears in the Medakii administration, which did not wish to comment on the controversy. Several Splugorth interest groups have also reportedly protested the sales, claiming the massive auctions threaten to undercut their own slave sales and may threaten their fiscal quarter profits.