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...hmmm...if vanilla candles are supposed to be stimulating...
...Then a flamethrower would be better!

"Ah, napalm...smells like...foreplay!"

whipped4073 wrote:As long as she doesn't mistake the cobalt limpet mine for something more tantalizing...

"Our marriage is guaranteed to be...what is your Micronian phrase...ah, a 'BLAST!'"

"I really don't want to explain, nor experience, the difference between autoerotic asphyxiation and explosive decompression..."

(Okay, that's as close to the line as I'm willing to go on this theme... )

Lt Colonel Fury wrote:You started it.

Like Rook and Rand playing 'chicken' with a cobalt charge?
Rook: "20 second timer...first one to hit the disarm, loses!"
Rand: "You're on."

ROFLMAO!! Very good! We dodged the bullet there!

Aramanthus wrote:ROFLMAO!! Very good! We dodged the bullet there!

*BLAM*

Rick Hunter looks down the length of the giant Zentraedi rifle he's got slung over his shoulder at the Zentraedi trooper who's looking shocked at the dead micronian in his hand.....
"Oops.."

Maybe not...

Breetai: "These micronians...they'd kill their officers before letting them fall back into our hands?!"

Oh no!!!! I helped kill Lisa! Dam, why couldn't it have been Minmei!!! It should have been Minmei!!!

Marcus: "Here, Scott, try this!"
Scott: "What is it?"
Marcus: "It's Zarayba, it's an alien drink! Don't ask what's in it, though..."
Alex: "Praxian rum and Invid blood."
Scott: *PPPFFHHEWWPHT!!!!!*
Marcus:(having just been tagged)"Alex, I'm going to have to kill you."
Scott: "-I-'m the one who's going to kill him!"
Ariel:(coming up behind Scott)"Not if I get him first."

taalismn wrote:Marcus: "Here, Scott, try this!"
Scott: "What is it?"
Marcus: "It's Zarayba, it's an alien drink! Don't ask what's in it, though..."
Alex: "Praxian rum and Invid blood."
Scott: *PPPFFHHEWWPHT!!!!!*
Marcus:(having just been tagged)"Alex, I'm going to have to kill you."
Scott: "-I-'m the one who's going to kill him!"
Ariel:(coming up behind Scott)"Not if I get him first."

Good one

Ew

Scene: Yet another failure to deliver appropriate lines by Scott.

director: Cut!! Bernard! This time get it RIGHT! Everyone reset places..... aaaaaand...... ACTION!

Clapperboard guy: Ghost town battle scene *sigh* Take fifty-three. (clack)

Music cranks up from slow-motion. Scott zooms in with his Alpha, blasting away at Invid left, right, and centre.

Scott: Holy mackeral, batman, there's MORE of them!

Director: CUT! Bernard! Not again!

*groans from the camera crew, cut to Lancer in his alpha, who mouths the word 'amatuer' to the cameras*

Regis (off camera, to director): Look, guv, if we're through needlessly slaughtering my children in the name of art for the fifty-third time, I'm off to the pub. Come on, lads, who's for a pint?

*much cheering amongst the cast and crew*
Lunk: Aye, that'd be grand.

Rook: You bloody ripper. I could do with a cold one.

Annie:Thank goodness. I'm sick of playing that awful little girl. After being in this business for thirty-seven years.... *sigh* I'm really rather not so partial to that horrid brew you all seem to fill yourselves with every afternoon. Have they any champagne and strawberries?

Rand: Y'know, annie, I like you an' all, but sometimes your high-falutin' ways... (leaves shaking head)

Director (on the phone):'.....just walked out, Carl. Yes, to the PUB. Can't you hear what I'm saying?..... uh huh... yeah, well we could try, but when they get liquored up..... uh huh..... no, this time she took a bunch of enforcers with her......

fade to black.

(edit) I was inspired to do this one by Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman, two actors who are often cast in the role of americans or Canadians, but who, when at home, speak with a totally different accent. David Tennant is another that springs to mind. (edit)

-The Invid are raizing Manhattan;

Enforcers walking along the street, when one of them totally vaporizes two unoccupied taxi cabs...

Enforcer 1: *"?!"*
Enforcer 2: *"They're always cutting you off when you don't want them...but when you need one? Where are they?!"*

-Regis: "Alright, whose bright idea was it to set up a Genesis Pit under New York City without my authorization?!"
(camera pans to see a giant albino alligator with its teeth in the Regis's robe)

-Rand: "Don't the Invid know that if you put a big bright round thing on top of a building in this city, people are going to want to bring it down?"
Scott: "You think we should for New Year's?"

ROFLMAO!!! Those were some great ones! Please keep them coming!

-Scott Bernard's Bachelor Party....The Aftermath...
Bernard: "Marcus...I am NEVER leaving any sort of event planning up to you ever AGAIN..."
Marcus:(dazed): "How was I supposed to know....?! I'm scarred for LIFE!!!"
Louie:"At least we know where the Regis went now..."

(meanwhile)
Ariel: "MOTHER!!!!!!!"

It almost sounds as if we need to look at what happened at "Poor Scott's Bachelors party. I know I'd love to know where this occured!

well, it sounds more interesting than him waking up naked, covered in shaving cream and tied to a telegraph pole 10km out of town.

er, not that I know anyone that's happened to or if I did had anything to do with it

Comrade Corsarius wrote:well, it sounds more interesting than him waking up naked, covered in shaving cream and tied to a telegraph pole 10km out of town.

er, not that I know anyone that's happened to or if I did had anything to do with it

Or stranded out in an emergency shelter on the moon's surface without an EVA suit(or clothes)....

I bet you don't know anything Comrade! Just like you don't know anything about those missing three minutes.

Hmmm...he shouldn't have been staring so hard into the Haydonite's flashing optic...

LOL Now that could explain those three missing minutes.

Haydonite Infiltrator: "You are no match for our superiority! Just look at this flashing light.."

Grant:(slipping on black sunglasses)"WAaaayyy ahead of you there..."(shoots the Haydonite dead).

Aramanthus wrote:I bet you don't know anything Comrade! Just like you don't know anything about those missing three minutes.

There is a hole in my mind?

Comrade Corsarius wrote:

Aramanthus wrote:I bet you don't know anything Comrade! Just like you don't know anything about those missing three minutes.

There is a hole in my mind?

Doctor Lang: "I am afraid the Fold Generators have disappeared."
Gloval: "Disappeared?!"
Doctor Lang: "Yep...POOF! Just like that!...Though we did get a nice set of Avenger torpedo bombers in return..."

Rick: "Control, would you quit playing that *^#@^*! five note sequence over and over on my radio?! It's driving me insane!!!"

ROFLMAO!!! That was a cute one Taalismn! And that must be the reason you are missiong three minutes Comrade!

"EeeTeee...Phone Hommmmmeeeee"
(REF Cycloner looking down at the prostrate Invid Scout holding up its one remaining claw...):"Nice try, slug, but you just ain't cute enough to pull that off effectively..."

But couldn't that invid be flying the bird to the cyclone rider?

"Hey! He's right! As if we need ANOTHER reason to shoot'ya!"
*BLAM*

Scene:A squad of cyclones moving through a forest they are passing by
a clump of trees.When it is suddenly blown to bits.The leader of the squad flings himself in a mud hole.When nothing else happens he gets up and asks the soldier who fired.
Captain:What was that for?
Soldier:It moved sir.
Captain:What moved?
Soldier:That Shock trooper. It moved sir.
Captain:What shock trooper?
Soldier:The one that moved sir.
Captain:There's nothing moving around here.
Soldier:Not now sir. I killed it.
Captain:(Looks at the camera)And now for something completely different.

:::An old fashioned armored knight carrying a rubber chicken walks onto the scene and hits the soldier with the rubber chicken. Then he walks out of the scene.:::

*Shadow Chronicles:
-Marcus Rush Saves Maia Sterling, throws her cockpit pod at the Ark Angel, then turns around to face off against the pursuing Haydonites....

-And fails to see Maia go sailing past the Ark Angel...
-Doesn't see Maia slam into a closed airlock door because he never bothered telling anybody ELSE what he was up to...
-Doesn't see Maia do a bull's eye into one of the Ark Angel's thrusters...

LOL I think she'd need sun screen 3,000,000PF for the last one there.

-Marcus Rush goes up in a blaze of glory...or so he thinks...
Marcus: "Marlene!"
Marlene: "Marcus...You little thwatt! oF ALL THE DUMBASS INSPIID THINGS TO DO! WAY TO GO, LITTLE BROTHER! SCREAMING LIKE A LOON, CARRYING ON LIKE SOME SORT OF HOLY AVENGER...DIDN'T THEY TEACH YOU -ANYTHING- IN COMBAT SCHOOL?! AND BEATING UP ON POOR SCOTT LIKE THAT! YOU NEED A REMINDER IN -MANNERS-, YOU BRAT!"(proceeds to get him in a headlock and noogies him while kicking him in the backside...for a small woman, Marlene is basically beating the snot out of Marcus...)
(Suddenly)
Marcus: "I'm alive?!...(sees affirmatives from onlookers)...Thank GOD! I'm not too eager to die either..."

*Battle of Reflex Point

Regis:"Hmmm...the force is strong in...THAT one!"
Commander Taylor: (*Daryl...You're screwed*) "Eh? Who said that?! Whattya mean 'I'm scr-YARRGHHH!!!"(as every Invid in the area dogpiles him)

ROFLMAO!!! So the Regis is dressed in black armor and has a respirator sound coming from her? That would be a hysterical way of seeing her in a spoof!

You are right I didn't consider that aspect Whipped4073! Holey cow! I can see REF people screaming for their mommies!

*Alex Romero sees his first physical concepts:"Hey! I'm big, I'm bulky! I look like..Oh gawd, I look like Ben Dixon on steroids! The biggest, shortest-lived comic relief in the whole first story arc! Hey, dude, I don't want wanna die in some pointless reflex energy blast! Come on, have a heart! Give me some looks that don't say 'big, lovable, disposable gump!'..
Hey, good, new character concept..I look young, svelte, like I'm going to go places! Yep, I'm going to be the best buddy who last---wanna mean, 'dies in a firey Reflex energy blast?!' the BEST PAL! Doesn't that have script immunity or something?...Oh, you're giving that role to Scott Bernard...Ohkaaayyyyyyyy......I'm scrreeeweeedddd..."

LOL Great one Taalismn!

whipped4073 wrote:

Aramanthus wrote:You are right I didn't consider that aspect Whipped4073! Holey cow! I can see REF people screaming for their mommies!

that just brings too many images of Ariel/Marlene & Scott into my mind...

That is just TOO wrong...

I didn't way a thing. Someone else pointed it out. I was originally making a Dark Lord reference. It's not my fault!

NOw we know why the Regent was rather RELIEVED when his wife decided to leave him...

hey, some of us like that sort of thing!

Bring it on, Regis!

Ewwww.... gross

Comrade Corsarius wrote:hey, some of us like that sort of thing!

Bring it on, Regis!

You can have the slugs, I'll stick with humans.

Now now! No pulling a Londo Mollari!

Lt Colonel Fury wrote:

taalismn wrote:*Alex Romero sees his first physical concepts:"Hey! I'm big, I'm bulky! I look like..Oh gawd, I look like Ben Dixon on steroids! The biggest, shortest-lived comic relief in the whole first story arc! Hey, dude, I don't want wanna die in some pointless reflex energy blast! Come on, have a heart! Give me some looks that don't say 'big, lovable, disposable gump!'..
Hey, good, new character concept..I look young, svelte, like I'm going to go places! Yep, I'm going to be the best buddy who last---wanna mean, 'dies in a firey Reflex energy blast?!' the BEST PAL! Doesn't that have script immunity or something?...Oh, you're giving that role to Scott Bernard...Ohkaaayyyyyyyy......I'm scrreeeweeedddd..."

Kind of reminds me of the old Looney Tunes cartoon where Daffy is criticizing the artist who is drawing him and at the end it was Bugs doing it.

What WASN'T seen in the Battle for Reflex Point...

*Borg Cubes
*The Yamato/Argo blowing up...
*Invid and REF mecha slamming into the Fourth Wall like bugs on a windshield...

this is great stuff, keep it coming.

*SCott's resistance group gets ambushed in the snowstorm...
Scott:"All of you! Over the edge! I'll cover you!"
(Everybody goes sliding down the hill...then it's Scott's turn...)
Annie:"Where's Scott!?"
(suddenly an enormous snowboulder comes rolling past them, a set of arms and legs sticking out of it, and off-screen...)
(Meanwhile Sera's so convulsed with laughter the humans succeed in escaping, chasing after their fearless(and thoroughly frost-bitten) leader...)

Sorta related...

Sera: (thoughts)"What is this I'm feeling...?"
Corg: "Comic relief, I think it's called..."
Regis:"Or gas..."

ROFLMAO!!! Those were all some great ones! Please keep them coming!

Scene:Ben,Rick and Lisa in the Zentraedi cell.
Rick:I think this would work better Lisa.
Ben:Yeah,This should work it would defiantly get my attention.
Lisa:Oh,All right.I'll do it.
(Cell door opens and Lisa pulls open her top)
Max:whoooa. That's awsome!

LOL Very good!


How about another slight variation in this theme.


Scene: Ben, Rick and Lisa in the Zentraedi cell.
Rick: I think this would work better Lisa.
Ben: Yeah, this should work, it would get my attention.
Lisa: Oh ok.
(Cell door open and the person opening see three full moon.
Max: Oh! I think I'm going to go blind!

ROTFLMAO! keep them coming.

-Yellow Dancer pulls off her top to reveal HE'S Lancer...
Rand wolf-whistles.
(sudden silence, save for a single cricket chrp as everybody turns and looks at Rand)
Rand: "What?!"

At the dam in 'Annie's Husband'

Lunk: "Now do we pull the level UP to close the spillway, or DOWN, or does that dump ALL the water?!"
Scott: "ARGH! This operation manual's written in RUSSIAN!!!"
(Meanwhile)
Village Spearman: (quietly)"How long before we tell'em we know how to work the whole thing ourselves?"
Old Man:(Listening to cursing coming from control shack)"A few more minutes...let'em panic a few more minutes...We haven't had this much fun in YEARS..."