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taalismn wrote:Edwards: "But wait! I'm...I'm master of the Genesis Pit!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA--!!!!!"
"You mean that big nasty hole in the ground? I had it filled in...it was clashing with the decor..."
Edwards:(deflating) "..haahahahahh....ha...ha..."
taalismn wrote:Edwards: " My evil lair redecorated, half my Ghosts shot away, the rest too scared to do anything, my Invid Brain thrown out, my own brain nearly gone, the Genesis Pit filled in and paved over, the Invid either dragooned into being gofers or curiously absent, and Hunter STILL not returning my calls!.....I need to take up hardcore drinking again...."
Minmei: (appearing right at his elbow)'Been meaning to talk to you about that; I threw out all those old bottles you had in the backroom!"
Edwards: "...I should see if I can't drain the antifreeze out of the vehicles...I'm pretty sure it's alcohol-based...and if I go blind drinking it...all the better...."
Though I am not a big hate Minmei person (I actually don't mind her.), this is turning out to be one of the best ones. I am really enjoying this.taalismn wrote:Minmei: "And over here is where we'll put in the nursery..."
Edwards: "NURSERY?!"
Minmei: "Yep...I believe in large families..."
Edwards: "KIDS?!"
Minmei: "Yes...all that talk about owning me, ravaging me, possessing me...what did you think was going to happen? Children, dear, it's what happens between men and women....Just think, they could have my good looks and your scheming brain...."
Edwards: "...or my looks and your brain..."
Minmei: "EXACTLY! We need to plan ahead...."
Edwards: "I'll get the birth control...."
Minmei: "Won't have it."
Edwards: "Suicide?"
MInmei: "Don't believe in it."
Edwards: "I mean...-I- committ suicide."
Minmei: "Oh, do quit being so dramatic...You were talking about taking over the UEEF, the galaxy, and the Earth not so long ago, and now you're afraid of a little COMMITTMENT? Dear, you're a bit of wuss, you know that?"
Edwards: "...Hunter...smite me now....one little orbital bombardment...that's all I'm asking of you...."
taalismn wrote:Edwards: "Ah....er....uhm...Minmei?"
"Yes, dear?"
Edwards: "There's something you should know..."
"What don't I already know, dear?"
Edwards: "This...it will never work out between us...."
"...and why not, dear?"
Edwards: "Wellllll...ah...see....I'm already married...back on Earth! Yeah! And I really should be getting back to her..."
"That's quite all right; I'm turned on by married men..."
Edwards: "...uh, you are?"
"Yep....pity dear old Wolfie got away, though, he was SO much fun..."
Edwards: "..ur...ack?"
"Just understand, though...as long as you're with me(*SNICK*) you'll never look at another woman!"
Edwards: "..eep!..(as well as he can with a switchblade against his throat) then why aren't you still after...urk!...Hunter?!"
"Lisa and I came to an...understanding..."
(Flashback of a torn apart room, with a ragged-looking Minmei and Lisa entangled on the floor...Minmei's holding the hilt of a broken knife, while Lisa's got this HUGE submachine gun lodged up Minmei's nostril....)
"He's off-limits...."
Edwards: "...great...another reason to hate Hunter..."
Taalismn, you are to good at this. Please don't stop!taalismn wrote:Edwards: "Now WAITAMINUTE here, Minmei! -I-'m the evil general here! You're my prisoner! I'm in charge here! Not some washed up idol singer!"
Minmei: "I really don't go out for those bedroom roleplaying games, dear!"
Edwards: "LISTEN UP! I SAID I'M IN CHARGE HERE!!!!"
Minmei: "LLALALALAA. I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!"
Edwards: "THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR!!! OBEY ME OR ELS---"
*CLICK*
"..oh, right....she still has my gun..."
drewkitty ~..~ wrote:*clink clink*
M: "I also have the keys to the weapons' locker too." *cute evil smirk*
drewkitty ~..~ wrote:*clink clink*
M: "I also have the keys to the weapons' locker too." *cute evil smirk*
taalismn wrote:drewkitty ~..~ wrote:*clink clink*
M: "I also have the keys to the weapons' locker too." *cute evil smirk*
Edwards:(sneaksneaksneak.....sneak...sneak....)
THUNK!
Twwwaaannnnnnnnggggggggggggggg
Minmei: "Nice try, dear, but I grew up in the Chinese restaurant business...I know my way around knives...Get back here now or it's partial vasectomy time..."
Edwards: "..what did I EVER do to deserve this....?!"
Minmei: "You killed my obsessive stalker cousin...that makes you worthy in my eyes..."
taalismn wrote:Edwards: "...i shoulda let him kill me then..."
Minmei: "Ah, but then your reputation as a top dog badass would have been totally crushed...."
Edwards:(staring at Minmei)...when in the seven levels of Hades did she get so %^*&*ing smart and manipulative...?!
***********
Rick Hunter: "Ah, I sense a dawning question and the first hint of dreadful knowledge...."
taalismn wrote:Angelo Dante: "Yeah, you remember what happened when they got their hands on Zor? They lit him up like a christmas tree!"
(Flashback)
"Ready?"
"Ready!"
"It's time!"
"Let'er rip!"
*CLICK*
"NNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
BLINKBLINKBLINK
"Happy Holidays, dude!"
CLINK
"Peace on Earth, man!"
*SQWAAAKKKKKKKKKK* 
taalismn wrote:Angelo Dante: "Yeah, you remember what happened when they got their hands on Zor? They lit him up like a christmas tree!"
(Flashback)
"Ready?"
"Ready!"
"It's time!"
"Let'er rip!"
*CLICK*
"NNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
BLINKBLINKBLINK
"Happy Holidays, dude!"
CLINK
"Peace on Earth, man!"
taalismn wrote:To which I raise a glass of Protoculturenog(made with real Flower of Life)...
...
...
...oh yeah.....That hits the spot....
Dairugger XV wrote:*watches the swarm of Invid scouts hovering over the Protoculture Nog*
Ok, who let Scott and Ariel's kids in here?
DhAkael wrote:taalismn wrote:Angelo Dante: "Yeah, you remember what happened when they got their hands on Zor? They lit him up like a christmas tree!"
(Flashback)
"Ready?"
"Ready!"
"It's time!"
"Let'er rip!"
*CLICK*
"NNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
BLINKBLINKBLINK
"Happy Holidays, dude!"
CLINK
"Peace on Earth, man!"
Evil, pure unadulterated evil.
I approve!
A happy Chaunwanzamassolistice to one and all!
Keep it surreal folks, keep it surreal.
Yes, may you all have a great Christmas!taalismn wrote:...ack...*BELCH*..'xcuse me...I feel like I ate a Zentraedi-scale portion of roast beef....(groan)
taalismn wrote:...now where are those Zentraedi-portion sugar cookies?
drewkitty ~..~ wrote:taalismn wrote:...now where are those Zentraedi-portion sugar cookies?
Can some one say Diabetic Shock?
taalismn wrote:drewkitty ~..~ wrote:taalismn wrote:...now where are those Zentraedi-portion sugar cookies?
Can some one say Diabetic Shock?
Pleased I am then that I didn't finish off the night by spinning by Dolza-Burger and ask for the SuperDuper GianormousCola Gulp....
Enough carbonation to lift the Titanic from the bottom of the Atlantic, enough shaved ice to sink it again, enough sugar to effectively DOUBLE the Gross National Product of Cuba, and enough caffeine to kill every team in the NFL....
DhAkael wrote:
..and still have enough room for a WAAFer thin mint.
taalismn wrote:...now where are those Zentraedi-portion sugar cookies?
drewkitty ~..~ wrote:taalismn wrote:...now where are those Zentraedi-portion sugar cookies?
Can some one say Diabetic Shock?
taalismn wrote:drewkitty ~..~ wrote:taalismn wrote:...now where are those Zentraedi-portion sugar cookies?
Can some one say Diabetic Shock?
Pleased I am then that I didn't finish off the night by spinning by Dolza-Burger and ask for the SuperDuper GianormousCola Gulp....
Enough carbonation to lift the Titanic from the bottom of the Atlantic, enough shaved ice to sink it again, enough sugar to effectively DOUBLE the Gross National Product of Cuba, and enough caffeine to kill every team in the NFL....
DhAkael wrote:taalismn wrote:drewkitty ~..~ wrote:taalismn wrote:...now where are those Zentraedi-portion sugar cookies?
Can some one say Diabetic Shock?
Pleased I am then that I didn't finish off the night by spinning by Dolza-Burger and ask for the SuperDuper GianormousCola Gulp....
Enough carbonation to lift the Titanic from the bottom of the Atlantic, enough shaved ice to sink it again, enough sugar to effectively DOUBLE the Gross National Product of Cuba, and enough caffeine to kill every team in the NFL....
..and still have enough room for a WAAFer thin mint.
taalismn wrote:Fortunately, micronian orders come with an extra-big side order of complementary Alka-Seltzer...
Just don't down it all at once...
taalismn wrote:Fortunately, micronian orders come with an extra-big side order of complementary Alka-Seltzer...
Just don't down it all at once...
drewkitty ~..~ wrote:taalismn wrote:Fortunately, micronian orders come with an extra-big side order of complementary Alka-Seltzer...
Just don't down it all at once...
*two microniens watch a blue balloon float by*
*shakes head*"I told Gorege now to use the whole thing at once"
drewkitty ~..~ wrote:taalismn wrote:Fortunately, micronian orders come with an extra-big side order of complementary Alka-Seltzer...
Just don't down it all at once...
*two microniens watch a blue balloon float by*
*shakes head*"I told Gorege now to use the whole thing at once"
taalismn wrote:drewkitty ~..~ wrote:taalismn wrote:Fortunately, micronian orders come with an extra-big side order of complementary Alka-Seltzer...
Just don't down it all at once...
*two microniens watch a blue balloon float by*
*shakes head*"I told Gorege now to use the whole thing at once"
"What did you do with yours?"
"I'm going white-water rafting in my swimming pool at home."
taalismn wrote:"Yeah...well, good thing about Zentraedi HappyMeals..."
"What?"
"When they say 'Comes with Car Inside'...they mean a REAL car..."
taalismn wrote:"I'd not even going to ask about the 'Action Figure'..."
There is an action figure?drewkitty ~..~ wrote:The only zent. sized "action figures" I've seen were the lynn kyle and lynn minmay ones. Azonia got to play with hers. But Kyron got stuck with the musical one.
But they were collectables, so other people wanted them also.
drewkitty ~..~ wrote:The only zent. sized "action figures" I've seen were the lynn kyle and lynn minmay ones. Azonia got to play with hers. But Kyron got stuck with the musical one.
But they were collectables, so other people wanted them also.
taalismn wrote:drewkitty ~..~ wrote:The only zent. sized "action figures" I've seen were the lynn kyle and lynn minmay ones. Azonia got to play with hers. But Kyron got stuck with the musical one.
But they were collectables, so other people wanted them also.
"Squeeze'em hard, and watch them change colors!"
Well, Dolza had a Lisa figure briefly, but something about its interaction with the other figures that came delivery disagreed with Dolza's constitution....
taalismn wrote:"Each caste looks upon the others, and the rivalry and distaste, along with the songs of the Muses, keep the clones too busy with their small, petty machinations to be much threat to the Masters' leadership."---Jason Marker, The Masters Saga Sourcebook
Karno:(oddly muffled) "You know, maybe it wasn't such a hot idea to snub the Plumbers' Caste representatives..."
(POV pulls back to show the Guard Triumvirate...Karno's got a plunger covering his entire face, one of his brothers is visible behind him hammering on the sides of a clear-walled shower stall that is filling t the ceiling with water, and just visible through an open door we can see a toilet seat with a pair of boots sticking up out of it, and two hands white-knuckle-clutching the seat...)
taalismn wrote:/"Or the dietician caste either..."/
Karno's holding a food bar, and has broken out in ugly blackheads, one brother is foaming at teh mouth and gagging, and the other is bent over dry-heaving...
taalismn wrote:/"Or the Tailors' Cooperative..."/
Karno's trying to squeeze into a uniform that's apparently two sizes too small, his brother is staring at the third sleeve sticking out of the front of his own tunic, and his other brother's sash seems to be hellbent on strangling its wearer....
taalismn wrote:/"or the Proctologists' Associative.../"
(POV pu-**************************
THE FOLLOWING IMAGES HAVE BEEN -BANNED-AND -REMOVED- BY THE MODERATORS, THE INTERNET GUARDIAN ANGELS, THE POPE, AND THE VIKING HORDES FOR DECENCY TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT, THE IMPRESSIONABLE, AND THE FAINT OF HEART.
FURTHERMORE, A WARNING HAS BEEN SENT TO THE ORIGINAL POSTER ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES OF THE CASUAL USE OF SUCH IMAGERY.
NEXT TIME WE'LL DO MORE THAN JUST NAPALM YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD!
*********************
(This has been a public service message from The Council for Responsible Wholesale Violence)
taalismn wrote:The removed images will, of course, be available for sale for a limited time only, in Environmental Maintenance Shaft 301, behind the Tertiary Fluidic Cooling Reservoir, next to the Auxiliary Pump Station. Proceeds to go to the Victims of Internal Security Harassment Compensation Fund.
I got to ask. Do you sit around all day tring to think of the next thing to write down here?Alpha 11 wrote:taalismn wrote:The removed images will, of course, be available for sale for a limited time only, in Environmental Maintenance Shaft 301, behind the Tertiary Fluidic Cooling Reservoir, next to the Auxiliary Pump Station. Proceeds to go to the Victims of Internal Security Harassment Compensation Fund.
taalismn wrote:Alpha 11 wrote:taalismn wrote:The removed images will, of course, be available for sale for a limited time only, in Environmental Maintenance Shaft 301, behind the Tertiary Fluidic Cooling Reservoir, next to the Auxiliary Pump Station. Proceeds to go to the Victims of Internal Security Harassment Compensation Fund.
I spend entirely too much time doing so....thing is, the best stuff usually hits spur-of-the-moment, most likely because I spent too much time on trying to develop some other idea...
Well, I hope the creative juicese keep flowing.