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ROFLMAO!!! Man that was hysterical!

Lisa and her father are on the Grand Cannon balcony...Admiral Hayes comes up behidn Lisa.
Admiral Hayes: "Your mother would be so proud of the soldier you've become!"(claps her on the back...)
(A little TOO hard, as she lurches forward, flips over the handrail, and plummets into the darkness below,,,)
(Admiral Hayes looks pale...then hurriedly looks around, then runs for it...)

I can see echos of "The Empire Strikes Back" in that one!

Gloval to Lynn Kyle: "Kyle, I am your FATHER!!!"

Kyle: "NNNoooooooo!!!!!...No, wait, actually that gives me ANOTHER reason to hate the military!"

Khyron to Lynn Kyle: "Foolish micronian, I am your FATHER!!!"
Kyle: "NNNoooooooo!!!!!...No, wait, how is that even POSSIBLE?!"

Roy Fokker to Lynn Kyle: "Kyle, I'm your father."
Kyle: "NNNoooooooo!!!!!...No, wait, that explains why Claudia Grant finds you so irritating...It also gives me an excuse to kill you after you return froma combat mission."

Rick Hunter: "Kyle..."
Lynn Kyle: "NO! No! NO! You are NOT my father! No way! You're too young! There's no way you can mess with my head like that, Hunter! NO ABSOLUTELY FREAKIN' WAY!!!"
Rick Hunter: "...look out for that truck.."
(Kyle suddenly realizes he's ranting in the middle of the road...right in front of an onrushing semi...)

ROFLMAO!!! Those were great! Especially the last one!

General Reinhardt: "How long are our Protoculture supplies going to last?"
Louie: "At present usage rates, about eight months..."
Reinhardt: "Not good..."
Louie: "If we turn off the Protoculture-powered coffee makers, the Protoculture-powered entertainment system in the officers' mess, the protoculture-powered vending machines, the protoculture-powered jacuzzis in the pilots' wardrooms, the protoculture-powered treadmills in the gym, and quit using protoculture-powered toothbrushes to brush our teeth, we can stretch it out to...about twelve years..."
Reinhardt: "Good god, man! You can't expect us to go back to the stone age, do you?!"

Roy Fokker doing technical check-list of his brand-spanking new VF-1S;
"Nose lasers? Where the heck...? Okay, THOSE *points to the two nozzles near rad-dome* are RCS nozzles."

Fokker continues to go over the technical schematics.

"All-right! Who's the wise-guy who replaced the R.O.V. Pulse Lasers in the head mounts with laser pointers? C'mon... fess up!"

Several tecnicians and mechanics all point to guy with mustache, in flanel, typing away at olde-style PC.

Fokker sweatdrops then goes bright red as black squiggle cloud forms over his head as his face goes SuperDeformed and bear-trap teeth.

"WHO let the (censored for 5 minutes) civillian write up the final proposal!!? And for the love of Bhudda, the cockpit for BATTROID is NOT IN THE HEAD!"

...



you know ... i really can see that happening? .. scary isn't it?

ROFLMAO!!! Those are funny!!! Please keep them coming!

Rick HUnter's stag-party---the Humiliation
Max:(pointing at video) "And there we see some serious eye missmatching..."
Rick:(groaning)"....was I REALLY that poorly animated?....ye gods, my hair looks like something out of 'Dragonball Z'!"

taalismn wrote:Rick HUnter's stag-party---the Humiliation
Max:(pointing at video) "And there we see some serious eye missmatching..."
Rick:(groaning)"....was I REALLY that poorly animated?....ye gods, my hair looks like something out of 'Dragonball Z'!"

Goku: (wandering onto wrong set) "Hey! Cool hair! Took me years to try and get that look...I was your biggest fan!"

(Sound of Admiral Hunter banging his head against the coffee table over and over and over again)

DhAkael wrote:

taalismn wrote:Rick HUnter's stag-party---the Humiliation
Max:(pointing at video) "And there we see some serious eye missmatching..."
Rick:(groaning)"....was I REALLY that poorly animated?....ye gods, my hair looks like something out of 'Dragonball Z'!"

Goku: (wandering onto wrong set) "Hey! Cool hair! Took me years to try and get that look...I was your biggest fan!"

(Sound of Admiral Hunter banging his head against the coffee table over and over and over again)

Max: "Okay, who's the guy built like a brick destroid?"
Goku: "Wow, Max Sterling! The cool moves guy! I always wanted to fight you!"
(everybody on the set starts sweatdropping)

Ewww That was ok. It involved an anime I will never follow! Ewwww! Please don't make me read it again mommy!

Coulda been worse...
Coulda been 'Twilight of the Overfiend"....

"I want a squad of Saber Cyclones in here right now to do some tentacle trimming!"

That is less offensive to me then the last one. Unforntunately I don't like DB!

Aramanthus wrote:Unforntunately I don't like DB!

What a coinsidence...neither do !

That is a good thing!

Aramanthus wrote:That is a good thing!

'Bleach' on the other hand...
------------------------------------------------
Still at Stag Party...the room looking a little worse for wear and a certain spikey-haired Sajin fimrly implanted into wall. In the center of the room is a Eye-patched, heavily scarred, punk-spiked haired (with bells tied to the tips) man holding a notched katana...and with a pink haired little girl on his shoulder.

Zaraki: "...Damn! I thought they was tough. Hey! Any of you panzies know where I can find someone called Maximillian Jenious?"

Max: "Um..next lot, 2 stages west"

Zaraki: "Thanks wuss!"

(Sound of concrete and plasteel being forcibly reloacted as the crazed Shinigami runs THROUGH the wall)

Rick: "Max...next time you throw a party for me? Make sure you don't put the word out over the net!"

(Meanwhile at Lisa's Bachlorette party)

Lisa: "Wow...I don't know who got me this, but I LIKE it!"
(she's brandishing a giant mallet)"Er...Mir? You want to reign in your protege there?"
(points to where a slight-figured blue-haired, red-eyed young woman with RDF/Zentraedi Legion shoulder patch is currently holding onto a mostly empty bottle and throwing knives at the male dancer...a bearded guy in red glasses who's currently trying to take cover)
Miriya: "Here...put us out of our suffering...use this.."(Passes the girl a silenced heavy pistol...Gendo pales at the sight of this and redoubles his efforts to escape)
(meanwhile, a dyed-blonde and a young man are chortling while counting money. "At last he's worth something!")

"Shinji...meet your new foster-father!"
TRUMPTRUMPTRUMPTRUMPTRUMPTRUMPTRUMPTRUMPTRUMPTRUMPTRUMPTRUMPTRUMP
"...mustn't run away...mustn't run away...mustn't run away..."

Misato might enjoy the prospect...
Asuka mentored under Azonia maybe?
Or...
Gloval: "I wonder what they did with that sample they had me give so long ago?"
(meanwhile a sperm bank file is being lifted out of a drawer by a certain double agent..."no freakin' way...")

Of course, if we have Asuka being mentored by Azonia, she gets Khyron as a step-dad...

Scene: The SDF1 Bridge.

Gloval: Miss Hayes. *Looks towards Lisa* It is time to release the secret weapon.

Lisa: Sir... *turns to look at Gloval as her face goes pale* You don't mean...

Gloval: Yes... Release the Teletubbies.

Out in space the Zentreadi Warships of Dolza's fleet all Explode.

*******************
Signed,
Rathorc Lemenger.

Rathorc Lemenger wrote:Scene: The SDF1 Bridge.

Gloval: Miss Hayes. *Looks towards Lisa* It is time to release the secret weapon.

Lisa: Sir... *turns to look at Gloval as her face goes pale* You don't mean...

Gloval: Yes... Release the Teletubbies.

Out in space the Zentreadi Warships of Dolza's fleet all Explode.

*******************
Signed,
Rathorc Lemenger.

WIN!

I see your Teletubbies and raise you this...

Regis:"You truly ARE allied with the Children of the Shadows! We must gather our people and flee this corrupted world at ONCE!"
(glimpse of the Invid holo-globe showing a lumpy purple figure slowly singing..."...I love you!...you love me!...")

Rand: "Can we come with you? Please?!"

Robotech Masters after watching TV broadcasts from decades previously.

RM1: "Completely Illogical behaviour!"
RM2: "How these micronian insects managed to defeat our Zentraedi warriors is beyond comprehension!"
RM3: ' I concour! Seriously those shoes do NOT go with that blouse on Samantha..."

RM 1 & 2 sweatdrop

RM3: "What...? Why are you looking at me like that?"

ROFLMAO!!! Those were great. Lisa with the giant hammer. So where is "City Hunter's" partner? She must have given that little gift.

Rand commenting on his first time piloting an Alpha Fighter.

Rand: "Scott...? Is it normal or really wrong to have wood in regards to your veritech after a high-g manuver? Cuz I am seriously feeling turned on by this machine right now."

(Meanwhile, Louie Nichols several parsecs away)

Lou: -AAAAAAA-CHOO!- -snff- "Sorry Jancie. You were saying something?"

LOL That is a good one! I just hope Rand doesn't have any polardoid camera around. We don't want to know about any double polaroids about his Alpha. Only Kryten can tell us about those sort of thoughts. Like his about the vacuum cleaner.

Commander Leonard: "God, but I love the smell of strontium fall-out in teh morning! Smells like....victory!"
Adjutant: "Sir...to say that, you need more hair, a cowboy hat, and to be in charge of an aircav unit...And Emerson's running that."
Leonard: "Well...sh*******tttttt"

Adjutant: "But sir! We do have this other job for you! Just put this cowboy hat on and climb into that bomber over their. When they the pilot tells you they are over the target just strap yourself onto this really big cylinder in this open area. It's the safest part in the bomber. Don't worry sir. You'll have a great flight!"
Leonard:::Looks over at the bomber.::: "You say it's the safest part of that bomber?
Adjutant: "Yes sir! The safest part of the bomber."
Leonard: "I want to control the action in it and among the flight!"
Adjutant: "Sir, you'll be in total charge of the whole action!"
Leonard:::Smiles and turns toward the bomber. He quickly boards the plane after taking the comboy hat from the adjutant.:::
Adjutant::::Shouts::: "Sir, Don't forget to shout YAHOOO when the bomber enters combat! That tells the pilot that your in charge!"
Leonard::: Smiles and salutes and boards the bomber.:::
Adjutant: "Good thing he doesn't watch old movies!" :::He turns and leave the field before the bomber takes off.:::

You guys wanna know what I think?? I think that maybe we should either: A) see about getting Kevin and the rest of the PB staff to do up a special April Fool Blooper issue of Rifter that has all the Bloopers on this thread, or B) get them to post some of their own Bloopers on here (and on the other parts of the Forum). It'd probably be a laugh riot on here then (just to see what they'd come up with).

Signed,
Rathorc Lemenger.

A rifter with some of the bloopers that the others have written would be very funny. I don't know if HG would mind. Some one would have to look into that.

In case someone needs a hint....... I was trying to get Leonard to pull "A Strangelove scene!

Louie: "I can't believe it!!! Hours, days, months of working with the best decryption software available! Sleepless nights writing up my own analysis tools! Permutations of every school of logic Humanity has yet encountered! I used battlecruiser mainframes! They data-crashed! I even sicced Janice on the problem! She had a nervous breakdown! And I'm STILL no closer to FIGURING OUT WHAT IT ALL MEANS!!!!"

Grant: "Nichols....maybe you should give figuring out the lyrics to 'Louie, Louie' a rest?"

LOL That was good! I can see that happening!

"And now for the next portion of the Miss Macross Contest! Something new from the creators of 'American Gladiator', our network sponsors! The Rollerskate Competition! Coming onto the stage, and eager to show their grace are our contestants now, starting with---"
"YYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!"*SMASHCRASH*
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeee!!!!!"WHAM
"OHMIGODOHMIGODOHMIGODDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!"KRUNCHTHUD
"AYYYYYIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!"WHOMMPFLIPWUNCH
"HHHeeeelelelepppppmmmmmeeeeeeeeee!!!!!"SCRUNCHDISLOCATE-
RATTLERATTLETHUMP!
.......
''''''
......
"We'll be back after these words from our other sponsors."
"ADVIL, the all-in-one QUICK pain reliever!"

The New Generation:
Invod patrol comes screaming in attacking Earth's defenders....Lunk is watching from the hills as his buddies are being wiped out in the distance, when one of them gets cut down close enough to look at him and the jeep beside him...The teammate is yelling, pleading, for Lunk to come out and rescue him...
Lunk looks back in sorrow and shame, then looks at the jeep beside him..."Sorry, Mike...I don't know how to drive a stick-shift."

Scene 1: The bridge of the SDF1.

Lisa: Captain. Message from the enemy fleet.

Gloval: Alright Lisa. Bring it up.

After a couple of seconds, the video is brought up onto the screen, which shows Kyron, Breetai, Exedore, Dolza, and Azonia in a line with their arms on the others shoulders as they start doing the CanCan.

Claudia: Oyvey.

*******************
Scene 2: Same as above but instead for 1 difference: On the screen: Kyron, Breetai, Exedore, and Dolza are playing mexican musical instruments, while Azonia is doing the Mexican Hat Dance.

Whole Bridge Crew: Oyvey.

**********************
Signed,
Rathorc Lemenger.

Ben, Rick, and Lisa are brought before Dolza for questioning, with predictable results...
Dolza: "Won't talk, eh? Then sterner measures are called for!.."
Breetai(glancing across the table): "He wouldn't.."
Exedore:(glancing back) "Lord, he would, he WOULD.."
The 3 Spies: "Ah! Is he?!"
Rick, Liza, Ben: (thoughts) "What the ....?"
Dolza: "I shall recite Zentraedi Poetry!!!!"

Minutes later Ben is savagely beating his head into the table, Lisa is trying to chew through her own wrists, and Rick is trying to suffocate himself with the sleeve of his flight suit as Dolza hits the fifth stanza of his 'Ode to the Ring in the Inefficient Waste Disposal Plumbing Basin"

Episode 3, series 1
Rick turns to Minmei in the isolated section of the SDF-1 after his spacewalk.
Rick: "Here, stick this fish in your ear." *points to tuna*

DhAkael wrote:Episode 3, series 1
Rick turns to Minmei in the isolated section of the SDF-1 after his spacewalk.
Rick: "Here, stick this fish in your ear." *points to tuna*

Yep, oxygen deprivation claims another victim!

Worse yet...she actually makes the attempt...

...and, with a great sucking noise, succeeds..

ROFLMAO! Those were great! Please keep them coming!

Rand learns to use his Cyclone:
Rand: "Hmmm.....'study the operations manual', Scott sez...okay...page one....what the hell? THIS THING'S WRITTEN IN JAPANESE?! WHY the HECK couldn't they write it in ENGLISH or SPANISH?!"

Later: Rand's astride the Cyclone, and touches a button on the dashboard...MASSIVE cloud of black smoke belches out of the rear, covering him, before it clears, revealing a 'blacked-out' and wide-eyed Rand...

Later. Take Two: Rand on the Cyclone again. He revs the engine...the wheels pop off, bouncing in opposite directions..

Later. Take Three: Rand's staring at the HUD dashboard in disbelief: "Blue Screen of Death?!"

Later. Take Four: The Cyclone's folded in 'storage' mode. Only this time there's a foot sticking out of one side and a feebly grasping hand sticking out the other...

Final shot of Lunk, Lancer, and Scott trying to keep a cast-covered Rand from throwing the Cyclone into the river....

H.U.D. messege on all Alphas, Betas and cyclones in Scott Bernard's resistance cell.
"(YOUR SHAREWARE VERSION OF NORTON ANTI-CULTURE HAS EXPIRED. PLEASE CONTACT YOUR NEAREST R.E.F. TECHNICIAN FOR FULL PAID SERVICE SUBSCRIPTION)"

Scott: "I knew we shouldn't have gotten our computer parts from that black-market outpost. Damn free-ware always expires when you need it most"

(Sound of Invid Troopers comming closer).

Lancer: "Typical..."

Invid Patrol just out of line of sight of the Bernard team...
Invid Patroller: *Okay, which of us supposedly superior lifeforms gets to go first and gets blown to green snot? Rock-Scizzors-Paper you all for it...*

Marlene: "...I think we just got a little extra time..."

ROFLMAO!!! Those were great ones! I hope there will be more!

New Generation:
"Annie's Birthday"
"I think Rand's trying to spy on us....So here's what we'll do..."
"1-2-3....*SPLASH!*..That oughta cool you down, Rand!"
(Windows close)
(...outside, two Invid Stealth Scouts are sitting, one of them dripping with soapy water..)
Invid Scout: *...what the HEY..?!*

LOL That is a great one! Please keep them coming!

Lancer's taking his shower in the waterfalls on the tropical island when he thinks he hears something...he ducks into the waterfall..
...backing into the alien troopers who are ALREADY hiding in the waterfall...from HIM as it turns out...


...Backs into the waterfall...
WHAM!...and gets flattened by the whitewater rafters coming in from the OTHER side of the island..

..Backs into the waterfall...
SPWWOOOMMMM!!!!...gets flipped into the air as the Batboat comes racing out from under the waterfall...

...Backs into the waterfall...
WUNCH!...Gets clobbered by the dragon already hiding in the waterfall...

...Backs into the waterfall...
GRAB*SMOOCH*RAVAGE...gets caught by the Amazon warrioress already hiding there(at least it's a girl this time!)

ROFLMAO!!! Those are great! Please keep them coming!

Ahhh,death by snu-snu.That's a great one
Lancer walking up to scott:I think you need to have a talk with rand.
scott:Why?
Lancer:Because every time I take a bath rand's watching me with weird eyes.