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*Dana meets Polly the Pollinator in the alley....
Cut to shot outside the alley as we hear a sudden growling noise punctuated by screaming....
Later: Nova talking to a doctor.
Nova: "So you can treat the lacerations, but the rabies shots are going to take a week, right?"

*Lancer Ambushes Sera at the Falls.
Sera: "EEK! PERVERT!!!"***SLAM***
-cut to shot of Lancer being launched into orbit, anime-stye...

*Max Sterling in Disguise Passes the Zentraedi Security Troopers...
Trooper:(thinking) *Don't stare at the ugly guy, he's higher rank than you...Don't stare at the ugly guy, he's higher rank than you...*

taalismn wrote:*Dana meets Polly the Pollinator in the alley....
Cut to shot outside the alley as we hear a sudden growling noise punctuated by screaming....
Later: Nova talking to a doctor.
Nova: "So you can treat the lacerations, but the rabies shots are going to take a week, right?"

*Lancer Ambushes Sera at the Falls.
Sera: "EEK! PERVERT!!!"***SLAM***
-cut to shot of Lancer being launched into orbit, anime-stye...

*Max Sterling in Disguise Passes the Zentraedi Security Troopers...
Trooper:(thinking) *Don't stare at the ugly guy, he's higher rank than you...Don't stare at the ugly guy, he's higher rank than you...*

As always, great stuff Love the first and second ones especially I could just SO see the second one...

*Scott, Rand, and Annie running from dinosaurs in the Genesis Pit when they pass a bunch of other people led by Jeff Goldblum running in the other direction...
Director(on hill): "CCCUTTTT!!! WHO LET THE IDIOTS WITH THE MOTORCYCLES ON THE SET???!!!!"

ROFLMAO!!! Those are some great ones! Please keep them coming!

I almost joked something about Jurassic Park myself, thinking about the Pits. It really did seem that way, wouldn't have been surprised if they found a DVD of the trilogy in the pit, for the gag reel ;p

---Scott Bernard's first night on Earth...
The Lightning Storm...He's out in the rain, looking up transfixed as the sky dumps on him...
***FFRRAAZZZAAKKKKKKK****
****YYYYIIIEEEIIII!!!!!!!*******
Director: "Er...a little less enthusiasm with the special effects, guys? Somebody want to scrape the char off Bernard?"

---After Scott and Rand have been told off by/sounded off to the villagers who sold them out to the Invid...Just as they're about to leave, Annie steps forward...
Annie: "These two guys are very honorable and, as much as it frustrates them, willing to let you off with a yelling at...That's because they're good people...-I- on the other hand, am a child of war, a traumatically mentally scarred orphan bereft of the benevolent guiding hand of loving parents, and a budding sociopath with a half-formed social conscience and little sense of identification with the suffering of others....In short, I am a vindicative little bastard who -is- perfectly willing to do you bodily harm for selling me out..."
(at this point she hauls out the Wolverine rifle she picked up earlier...
Cut away as machine gun fire opens up and the screaming begins....)


-'Enter Marlene'----The Invid transporting Ariel to Point K...
Invid Drone 1: "Hey...thought just occured to me....we're supposed to drop her here...what if we drop her wrong...you know, like on the wrong end?"
Invid Drone 2: "Nothing's going to happen...we -can't- drop her wrong...She's an EGG!"
Invid Drone 1: "Yeah, but what if...?"
Invid Drone 2: "Look, you're a DRONE, you're not paid to think....so just shut up and do your duty...."

Invid are transporting Marlene to Point K, when the glass breaks and the egg drops out below....

Director: Cut!! That's supposed to be dropped GENTLY near Bernard's group, you idiots! Not bounced all over the landscape like a rubber ball!!

Regis: oh, sorry. I'll tell the boys to be more careful next time, and reinforce the glass a bit more.

Carl Macek: Hang on guys, leave it there. I can do more with the story with it like this. I've got some ideas already scribbling away trauma... memory loss... looks at the regis Can your girl handle this level of acting?

Regis: As her agent I demand a greater fee. Her acting, emotion and facial features will be as wooden as that tree over there, but I think she can manage it.

Director:.....aaaand that's a wrap!

Good ones, Taal and Corsarius!

(I woulda loved to see Annie say that one bit, too)

Scene: Rick Hunter crashing into Macross city...

The VT smashes through the first two buildings then slams to halt against the third.

Director: "CUT!!!!!DAMMIT I TOLD YOU GUYS TO BRACE THE WALL NOT REINFORCE IT!!!!"

ouch! Poor Rick! Even NCIS won't be able to put him together again.

-"Midnight Sun"---Sera is confronting Lancer and Marlene on the edge of the chasm...she's staring at them while Lance is demanding answers of her when they all hear a cracking nose...Sera whirls around to see a chasm-paralleling crack appear in the ground BEHIND her Battloid...
Sera: "Oh s--"--_As the whole cliff side goes sliding into the abyss...

-"Metamorphosis"---Scott's swimming lesson....He goes under with a wave...pause...moment...seconds...minute...he ain't coming up...Panic insues...

-"Annie's Wedding"---Sunbathing Lancer...looks up as a shadow falls over him...His eyes bug out just before Smokey the Bear socks him upside the head with a shovel....


What we DIDN'T see in 'Shadow Chronicles':
Scout walking aside Grant and Co....
Grant: (sniff, sniff)"Lt Bernard...when was the last time you changed that flight suit?"

Heehee. Especially on that last one. Wow, there'd be a valid question if I ever heard one Ew. Yay, moldering and moldy clothing.

Evidently Bernard was never hurt badly enough that his team mates would have had to open his flightsuit to attend to his wounds...

Which leads to a horrible thought of Scott and Ariel trying to have an intimate moment and shades of Mel Brooks' Robin Hood...
"-----I can't get it off!!!"
"Er, could somebody get us a pair of metal snips? A crowbar? A laser torch?"

Ariel: 'but honey, WHY won't you take it off?'

Scott: 'I am lieutenant Scott Bernard, Robotech Expeditionary Forces seconded to Mars Base for the liberation of Earth from the Invid. I am Always on duty'

Ariel: So, kinda like a furry, but not as cute?

Scott: Exactly.

In a hive nearby

Regis: Access all data on known item "Furry". For I have travelled the cosmos, and seen sights of all things. All things decay and all things die, and I shall rant and rant until I come up with something better to... oh my SELF!.... (pause for a few moments)... You know, I think that even the Robotech Masters were less degenerate.

taalismn wrote:Evidently Bernard was never hurt badly enough that his team mates would have had to open his flightsuit to attend to his wounds...

Which leads to a horrible thought of Scott and Ariel trying to have an intimate moment and shades of Mel Brooks' Robin Hood...
"-----I can't get it off!!!"
"Er, could somebody get us a pair of metal snips? A crowbar? A laser torch?"

Men in Tights for teh win

Comrade Corsarius wrote:Ariel: 'but honey, WHY won't you take it off?'

Scott: 'I am lieutenant Scott Bernard, Robotech Expeditionary Forces seconded to Mars Base for the liberation of Earth from the Invid. I am Always on duty'

Ariel: So, kinda like a furry, but not as cute?

Scott: Exactly.

In a hive nearby

Regis: Access all data on known item "Furry". For I have travelled the cosmos, and seen sights of all things. All things decay and all things die, and I shall rant and rant until I come up with something better to... oh my SELF!.... (pause for a few moments)... You know, I think that even the Robotech Masters were less degenerate.

That is just disturbing. Though on a related note, ever notice that sometimes Spike TV has an obsession with that one CSI episode for it? "Fur and Loathing"? I swear that it sometimes pops up 4 times a month in their schedule.

ROFLMAO!!! Very good guys! Please keep them coming!

*The Regis greets Bernard's team...speaking in her booming, multi-toned voice...
Lunk: "What the heck?"(sudenly he's speaking in the same multi-toned, echoing voice style)
Rand: "Hey, I'm doing it too!"(indeed he is..)
Annie: "We're all doing it!"(ditto)
Regis: "AGH! You've uncovered my secret! Lousy accoustics! Ergh!"

LOL Very good Taalismn!

*Admiral Hayes: "NOw you listen up, Gloval< I'm not taking the Grand Cannon offline and you out of its sights until the skunk who got my little girl pregnant does the right and proper thing by her!!!"
Captain Gloval: "Inform Lieutenant Hunter he's the groom in a Reflex Cannon wedding..."

Lisa Hayes:Claudia have you heard someone got Minmay pregnant.
Claudia:Was it Rick?
Lisa:No it was Max.

Khyron:It's time these micronains find out who their dealing with.Krel send out our secret weapon.Send out the mimes.
Krel:As you wish my lord.

Azonia(toying with a tiny Kyle): "Such curious creatures, micron---Oops, I don't think those were supposed to come off..."

Zentraedi Trooper: "Micronian mecha!"(seeing the Mac II's popping up all around them..)
Khyron: "Hah! Those are MAC IIs, the slowest mecha in the human arsenal! We shouldn't have any problems outrunn-"
****BBBLLLAMMMMM****
(smoking heavily)"---big freakin' cannon, right! Men, RUN AWAY!!!!"



Khyron: "Forget the protoculture chamber, men, that brewery distribution center is our target! BBBEEEEEEEEERRRRRRR!!!!!!!!"


Khyron:"It's time, Azonia! Let us go out together!"
(wraps a hachi-machi headband (the sort with the rising sun on it) around his head)
Khyron & Azonia(together): "BBBAAANNNZZAAAIIII!!!!!!!"

batlchip wrote:Lisa Hayes:Claudia have you heard someone got Minmay pregnant.
Claudia:Was it Rick?
Lisa:No it was Max.

.

Vanessa: "No, it was Khyron!"

(actually, when you consider that the original Macross storyline had Khyron infiltrating the Macross and striking up a relationship with the FEMALE captain of the SDF-1, that makes sense...But the refined Khyron art begat Max Sterling as a separate character, Miriyia was developed as the exotic love interest, and a more conventional--for the time---male captain arrangement was retained instead..)

True but could you see little Khyrons running around

batlchip wrote:True but could you see little Khyrons running around

unfortunatly, if they were with Minmay.... they would be to stupid to be effective, and would most likely join a boyband.

Colonel Wolfe wrote:

batlchip wrote:True but could you see little Khyrons running around

unfortunatly, if they were with Minmay.... they would be to stupid to be effective, and would most likely join a boyband.

Doesnt every boy band need the "outcast rebel, bad boy"?

Little Khyrons would be cute! Think about all of the havok they would cause.


Little Khyron asking his mom for a new toy.::: "mom can I have a new toy to play with?

Khyron's mom::: "Sure son! What do you want?"

Little Khyron::: It's a little itty bitty toy Mom! Its called an atom bomb! Can I please have some atom bombs!

*"To the Stars"----Lisa, Rick, and Minmei are arguing....
Minmei: "Rick, stay with me!"
Lisa:"He's a soldier, MInmei, he has a duty!"
Minmei: "But I'll...I'll....(steels her resolve)...I'LL FIGHT YOU FOR HIM!"
LIsa & Rick: "...eh?!"
Minmei: "Right here, right now, Army Girl! Winner takes all! First one down for the count loses all claim to the flyboy!"
Lisa: "You can't be serious...?"
Khyron:(Big Booming Voice)"HOLD THE ATTACK! THIS I -GOTTA-SEE!!!"
Minmei: "Whattsa matter, wide-eyes?! Afraid you're going to take a fall and spoil your fancy uniform? Ain't got the moves, cow-thighs? Gotta order a man on rank because you can't move it on your own?! Is THAT how military women get dates---PULL RANK!!!??? Sheesh!!"
(Suddenly the Bridge Bunnies' voices pop up from a public intercom)
Sammie: "She talking trash about women in uniform?! EWWWW...you gotta kick her arse, Lisa!"
Lisa: "THAT'S IT, Little Miss Macross! You're going down!"(rips off her jacket)

...Moments later in a nearby park, a crowd has formed...Zentraedi and humans, military, civilians, and rescue workers...Battlepods and Veritechs standing shoulder to shoulder...There's no sign of hostility among the crowd...
In the center, though...
Lynn Minmei is dressed in her Chinese dress, stretching and throwing kicks in warm-up...Lisa is wearing something like a cross between military fatigues and a 'Fatal Fury' gi...
Rick Hunter is currently bound and gagged and flying from a flagpole in the middle of the field, looking utterly trout-slapped...
Azonia:(dressed as a sports referee)"Today we have COMBAT!!! Two challengers have stepped forward in bloody mayhem for exlcusive mating privileges to the micronian Rick Hunter!!!"(gestures to the dangling pilot who 'mphfs!' in protest) "In this corner we have the Terror of Macross herself, the Voice that Sank a Million Ships, the Little White Dragon who's waiting to show her claws...LYNN MINMEI!!!"
(MInmei bows and struts her stuff as the crowd goes wild)
Azonia:"And over in this corner, she's the Old Sourpuss, the Admiral-Apparent, Representing five generations of military breeding, the Lady of Steel with a Red Hot Heart, and wanting to airstrike whoever gets in her way...LISA HAYES!!!"
(Lisa looks kinda miffed at the 'sourpuss' remark but brushes it off as she repeatedly jabs her fist skyward as the crowd behind her chants her name in synch..)
(Khyron, above and behind Minmei): "Grind her to paste..I know you can do it!"
(Gloval, towel on his arms, giving Lisa's shoulders a boxer's rubdown): "Lisa, this is for honor, glory, and love! Never give up, never surrender, and offer no mercy!"
Azonia: "Your bets all placed? Good!(takes out a hankerchief about the size of a table cloth)...Fight is to unconsciousness or death, whichever comes first...Ready?(steps back and tosses the hankerchief in the air) LET'S RUMBLE!!!!"
*"KYYYAAAHHHHHHH!!!!"
*"SSAAAAAYAAAAHHHH!!!!"
Minmei and Lisa Launch Themselves at Each Other...

Wow, I can just imagine that, too. Sadly enough. Lisa would /so/ rip Minmei a new one, too...

AuroraKet wrote::lol:

Wow, I can just imagine that, too. Sadly enough. Lisa would /so/ rip Minmei a new one, too...

Any Minmei-supporters care to contest that? She HAS been taking lessons from Lynn Kyle, after all...
Place your bets!

taalismn wrote:

AuroraKet wrote::lol:

Wow, I can just imagine that, too. Sadly enough. Lisa would /so/ rip Minmei a new one, too...

Any Minmei-supporters care to contest that? She HAS been taking lessons from Lynn Kyle, after all...
Place your bets!

Taking lessons or just getting beaten on by him?

And... Minmei supporters? *peers around suspiciously, waiting to hear crickets chirp*

Khyron: "Just because it annoys you despicable micronians, I throw my support behind Minmei! HahahhahahahHHAHAHAHA!!!! --Laugh- with me, Grel!"

Grel: "Yessir...bwhahahahahhaHAHAHA!!!!"

ROFLMAO!!!! So who wins? I want to know!

Aramanthus wrote:ROFLMAO!!!! So who wins? I want to know!

We all do Aramanthus, we all do.

RDF guy and Zara discretly place even wagers on both woman.

...Ah, but Minmei grew up in a family restuarant...she most likely knows her way around knives....

....Lisa drops her camcorder and wants to die right then and there...

While Lisa and Minmei are busy goudging out each other's eyes....

Robotech: The Sentinels:

Cabell: "Only one species makes machines like that...the Klingons..."
Rem:(Straight faced) "I'll load the photon torpedoes..."
Cabell: "Photon torpedoes? What do you...Oh..."
Regent:(off-camera) "I'll leave you like you left me! AT THE HEART OF A DEAD PLANET, BURIED ALIVE!!!!"(Regent steps into shot, hugs Cabell as both guys break up laughing)
Rem:(grinning) "KHHHAAAAANNNN!!!!!"

Rem:(Holding Pollinators) "I don't know what good these creatures are...in fact, I think one of them's foaming at the mout---AGGGHHHHH!!!"
Director:(to animal handler)"I thought I told you to have those things put down after the last incident!"

*Cabell versus the Hellcat...He fires the net launcher...the Inorganic dodges it, and the net sails on to...trap Rem...Cabell takes off running as the Hellcat goes after easier prey...the entangled Rem.
Rem: "Cabell! Get back here you senile old bastard!"

Rem and Zor Prime face off in the streets of Tiresia...
Rem/Zor Prime: "THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!!!!"

Rem vs Zor Prime 2:
Zor: "I'm the mbest bioroid pilot there ever was!"
Rem: "I'm a scientist, an expert in matters Robotechnological! Not some angsty pretty-boy!"
Zor: ""Pretty boy?' The short sleeves, the knee-britches, the mini-cloak, the big bow...Is that the dress of a Robotechnologist, or is it a sailor fuku! NO, don't tell me! You're really 'Sailor Robotech' and you're here to Punish me!"
Rem: "Huh!?"
Zor: "I see it now! You're a 'Sailor Starlight!!!'"
Rem: "UGH!!! NOOOOO!!!! I'M NOT!!!! TAKE THAT BACK!!!!"(charges Zor)
*Crash*CLUNK!" Zor's remote-controlled Bioroid Hovercraft anvils Rem into the dust....
Zor: "...Real Men Fight Dirty..."

LOL Excellent! Please keep them coming!

*Robotech: The Sentinels
-T.R. Edwards: "That's why I hired you, Benson. You're going to help me take down Rick Hunter!"
Benson: "Actually, sir, you hired me, and I qoute your exact words, AGAIN:'You're here to keep me from making an ass of myself and make sure I take my anti-psychotic medication.'"
Edwards: "WHAT?! When did I tell you THAT!!!???"
Benson: "Last week sir, and you made sure I videotaped it."(holds up remote and clicks it...and sure enough, there's footage of Edwards telling him exactly that.)
(Edwards sustains a concussion from the immediate facefault...)

Robotech: The Sentinels
*Rick Hunter is having his crisis in self with Max before the wedding, when Edwards busts in:
Edwards: "If you have a problem with confidence in me, I'd rather you said so to....ergh...ehg....Oh jeez...This spandex outfit keeps giving me a wedgie! YOU'RE THE ADMIRAL! DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!"
(the set breaks up laughing as Rick starts signing for 'wardrobe malfunction')

Rick: "Lisa!"
Lisa:"Rick!"
(Hug-embrace*POINK*!"OWWW!!!!")
Rick:(covering one eye as Lisa moves one of her bangs out of the way) "Guys, a little LESS hairspray?!"

*The scene of Invid Enforcers zipping over Tiresia in their hovercycles ramming things....
Enforcer: (flying by) "WHHHEEEEEeeeeeeeeee!!!!"
2nd Enforcer: "WWWhhhhheeeeHHHHaaaaaaaa!!!!!!"
Director: "Can we delete that from the audio?"

Scene:The Khyron's fleet near the SDF-1.Suddenly, Klingon birds of prey uncloak and attack Khyron's fleet.
Khyron:Who are you and why are you attacking us?!
Commander Kruge:Motives are insignificant.

Scene:Scott and Lunk by the Alpha
Scott:(Jumping in the Alpha) Everything seems to be working okay here we go!(The Alpha suddenly blows up.)
Lunk:Whoops,must'a crossed a wire some where.

*Southern Cross
-Bowie Grant examines Musica's Cosmic Harp...
Bowie(seeking to re-assure the girl he's just met): "Strange instrument you have here...(runs hand through the beams)...Guess you need to have it tuned, no?"
(meanwhile, outside, the three Terminators who were previously sneaking up on the chamber...two are laying on the ground convulsing, and the last is flipping around doing cartwheels and hand-stands)

batlchip wrote:Scene:Scott and Lunk by the Alpha
Scott:(Jumping in the Alpha) Everything seems to be working okay here we go!(The Alpha suddenly blows up.)
Lunk:Whoops,must'a crossed a wire some where.

Ah, it's the simple gags that are the best....

In reciprocation:
-MUltiple scenes of Rick Hunter, the 15th ATAC, and SCott Bernard's group attempting the mecha pilot's 'Embarkation Leap'...and failing miserably....slamming into the underside of the mecha, going into the seat head first butt dangling out, landing one leg in and one leg out in classic 'groin wedge'(ouch), going completely OVER the cockpit and coming down badly on the other side, and in one case, slamming into the still-closed canopy and sliding off the side of the mecha....

That's gotta be max.

ROFLMAO!!!! Please keep this going, even if it kills us!

-Kyle facing off against a dozen civilians in the White Dragon, when one steps forward...
Man: "My name is Anigo Montoya...You killed my father...Prepare to die!"
Kyle: "Uh-oh..."

Rick: "You mean the Zentraedi have separate sexes?"
Ben: "Man, that's a lot of games of solitaire..."

Rick: "Ben, hit your afterburners!!"
Ben:"Rick, I CAN'T!!! TOO LATE!!! ARRGGHHHHH!!!"
Max/RICK: "BEN!"
Ben:"---no, wait a minute...I'm okay!...NO! Wait! ENGINE FAILURE!!! ARRGGHHH!!!"
Max/RICK: "BEN!"
Ben:".....ahahah. got power back....I'm okay! WAAGHH!!! MY CONTROLS ARE SHORTING OUT!!! I'M A GONNNEEERRRR!!!!"
Max/RICK: "BEN!"
Ben: "Hold it! They're back! Hey, I'm getting the hang of this! Hey, wait...CABIN FIRE!!!!MY EXTINGUISHERS ARE OUT!!! THIS IS IT!!! SAYONARA!!!TELL MT MOM I LOVE HER!!! YAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHhhh...."
Max/RICK: "BEEEEEEN!"
Ben: "...ahahahhahah....Got you! Had you going, there didn't I? I'll really okay! ahahahahahaha!...You really thought I was going down? ahahahahaha!!!!"
Max/Rick: "...."
Rick: "I'll stall with Lisa, Max...You take care of our 'straggler'..."
Max: "Right, Rick...arming remaining missiles now..."

ROFLMAO!!!! Those almost had me falling off my chair. The last one! Poor Ben! I wonder if his loss could have been caused by something like that.

-Rick and Lisa are caught in a high-walled pit during the modular transformation....
Rick: "Lisa...I think there's something in here with us..."
Lisa: "....if you're qouting 'Star Wars', I am sooooo hurting you..."

Breetai(walking alongside Exedore): "You know, Exedore, as proudly as I bear my injuries, there are times when I do miss something I had before that fateful day.."
Exedore:"Indeed, my lord, and what would that be?"
Breetai: "(*BANG!*)Ouf!....(backing away from the bulkhead he just ran into)...peripheral vision..."

(Shot of Zentraedi clustered around holding Terran tanker trucks by the chassises..One has ripped the end of his off and is holding it up while his comrades are chanting...)
Zentraedi: "Chug...chug...chug..."

Breetai(slogging along the outside of his flagship, sans spacesuit, after Max tossed him out):(thinking)"...okay...now was it LEFT at the next sensor aerial or RIGHT...Or do I keep going past the attitude control thruster?"

LOL Very funny! But the Rick/ Max and Ben one ruled!

LOL Very good.


Behind the scenes. Ricks Bachelor party.

Rick looking at Max while they are driving down road in New Macross City.::: "Ok Max! Where are you taking me for my bachelor party?"

Max just keeps on driving and smiles and says.::: Its a surprise! You don't want me to spoil it. Do you?"

Rick looks at Max, his eyes wander back to the road they are driving along.::: "Actually yes I do."

Max just keeps on driving and smiling.::: "I"m not going to tell you Rick. I'm going to make you suffer until we get there."

Rick gets a little anixous as their car turns down the street with all of the bars on it.::: "How come we're not stopping here?"

Max just smiles and says,::: "Your party isn't here. It's going to be better than just bar hoping."

The car continues driving for quite awhile. It turns down the street with the strip clubs on it. Rick gets visibily excited.

Max seeing this immediately pipes up::: "Our destination isn't along here. You'll enjoy it! It's appropriate to who your marrying.

Rick gets even more excited. And ask Max,::: "It is! The officers club? That sounds great Max!"

Max clears his throat as the car turns down a lonely road leading turns a very large building.::: "We're almost there! Just remember we're having it here because of something you said when dealing with your fiance."

The car comes to a stop in the car turn around area. There is a sign plainly visible under a light........"Macross Home for the aged"

Rick::: "Groans"

Max smiles and says.::: "We timed your party well Its Bingo night! So you'll get to see women dancing, cussing and a lot of drinking. Since you kept making all of the old jokes talking about Lisa, I thought this would be very much in the style you expect!"


:::I know I'm going to die for this one!

Robotech: The Sentinels
-Rem, while helping Cabell capture a Hellcat, stumbles across an Invid Shocktrooper, opens up its canopy, climbs into its cockpit, starts the mecha up, and lifts off...
--Moments after he does this, a Stage 2 Invid pilot comes running out from behind a nearby column, hitching up its pants(!) with one arm, while shaking the other at the departing mecha, and swearing a blue streak...