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75% a "smart phone" like a "dumb phone" but you talk like albert einstien!(you know "e=ms2" guy)

76% 'Dumb Phone'---Trying to speak into it, the holder discovers they've gone mute for 1d4x10 minutes. Hope you're good at pantomime.

77% "Smart @$$ Phone" -- like having a intelligent device that hates you.

drewkitty ~..~ wrote:77% "Smart @$$ Phone" -- like having a intelligent device that hates you.

"You're really pushing my buttons and you don't even know what a TENTH of them do, you sausage-fingered ape! Why don't you give me to the eight year old in your party! Maybe HE can show you how to properly use me! And oh gods, don't use the camera function to take pictures of yourself! My photochip will crack! Ye gawd but you are ugly! A face like that should be declared ILLEGAL!!!! What are my other functions?! Can I tell the correct time? I'll tell you what time it is! It's time somebody put you out of my misery! Can I take messages from your friends? You're joking, right? Who'd want to befriend YOU?! What aps do I have? Nothing that can erase the memory of seeing your hideous face or listening to your inspid conversation..."

78%---Flea Collar---A rather plain-looking leather collar that looks like any of a number of pest-repellent devices available on the market. Donning this, however, will make the wearer IRRESISTIBLE to fleas, rather than the reverse, and the wearer will quickly become infested with little blood suckers.

79- A Dog:
1-33: It has three heads... RUN
34-66: It's aflame... RUN
67-99: It walks on two legs and has human features... Run
100: It's a Puppy! Aw... Pet it. Roll initiative, should have Ran

Zer0 Kay wrote:79- A Dog:
1-33: It has three heads... RUN
34-66: It's aflame... RUN
67-99: It walks on two legs and has human features... Run
100: It's a Puppy! Aw... Pet it. Roll initiative, should have Ran

or 99:it's a puppy!
100:it's a guppy?

abe wrote:

Zer0 Kay wrote:79- A Dog:
1-33: It has three heads... RUN
34-66: It's aflame... RUN
67-99: It walks on two legs and has human features... Run
100: It's a Puppy! Aw... Pet it. Roll initiative, should have Ran

or 99:it's a puppy!
100:it's a guppy?

Aren't you going to add anything?
My Random table within a table is mine and it was for item 79 so you should post an item 80, no wait I'll do that you post an 81.
80- Abe's stovepipe hat, you reach in and pull out a(n):
1- Rabbit
2-20- Annoyed Rhinoceros
21- Rabbit
22-40- Grumpy Alligator
41- Rabbit
42-60- Perturbed Ostrich
61- Rabbit
60-80- Angry Elephant
81- Rabbit
82- 100- Rabid Wombat
101- Rabbit?

Shorty Lickens wrote:I bet at least one D-bee would murder kittens for stale donuts.

Probably a Larmac

81.green slime-you found the old you can't do that on television studio!

abe wrote:81.green slime-you found the old you can't do that on television studio!

LOL you mean when there was something lumpy in it and it wasn't all smooth?

I don't know

82- A kinked and twisted slinky. Save vs. non-lethal poison or sit there for 1d4 minutes trying to fix the slinky.

83: Paging Device---A small black plastic and metal electronic cellphone-thingy with one setting. Pushing the button will almost immediately draw a response from the other end of the connection; a gruff male voice that asks what you want. Several minutes of confused and awkward conversation will reveal that the person on the other end is Emperor Prosek(or at least CLAIMS to be Emperor Prosek) who will ultimately demand 'How did you get this number?!'. Repeated use of this device is apparently untraceable, but any extensive abuse of it will result in any subsequent encounter with Coalition forces finding the device in the PCs' possession resulting in immediate execution of said PCs 'on the Emperor's direct and personal orders'.

Svartalf wrote:

Shorty Lickens wrote:I bet at least one D-bee would murder kittens for stale donuts.

Probably a Larmac

Or maybe he likes kittens!


http://cdn.comicartfans.com/Images/Cate ... -final.jpg

Shorty Lickens wrote:

Svartalf wrote:

Shorty Lickens wrote:I bet at least one D-bee would murder kittens for stale donuts.

Probably a Larmac

Or maybe he likes kittens!


http://cdn.comicartfans.com/Images/Cate ... -final.jpg

...kittens...with barbeque sauce....

taalismn wrote:

Shorty Lickens wrote:

Svartalf wrote:

Shorty Lickens wrote:I bet at least one D-bee would murder kittens for stale donuts.

Probably a Larmac

Or maybe he likes kittens!


http://cdn.comicartfans.com/Images/Cate ... -final.jpg

...kittens...with barbeque sauce....

YUCK!

Nice to see this topic get some loving again.

84: A Wilks laser scalpel that been 'tuned' so that the laser is variable frequency and changes colour for each different frequency. If by some chance that the colour of the beam is the same colour as the doctor/surgeons outfit, it gives a +5% chance for any procedure when operating, +15% if the doctor/surgeon is female. Being variable frequency it can also be used to operate on mega damage creatures as well. Same bonuses as above apply.

85:a goofy hat from Disney land/world!

86: A whip made from a Metztla tentacle. +1 to strike and entangle females. Plus anybody handling it will carry a scent of Metztla for 2d4 days. Any Metztla that comes within sniffing range will immediately attack those who have held the whip.

CyCo wrote:Nice to see this topic get some loving again.

84: A Wilks laser scalpel that been 'tuned' so that the laser is variable frequency and changes color for each different frequency. If by some chance that the color of the beam is the same color as the doctor/surgeons outfit, it gives a +5% chance for any procedure when operating, +15% if the doctor/surgeon is female. Being variable frequency it can also be used to operate on mega damage creatures as well. Same bonuses as above apply.

Changing the frequency of the light changes the color of the light. Laser Beams are invisible in an atmosphere unless there is dust in the path.
Or it ionizes the gases in it's path. Even then the color of the apparent beam is the color that hot gases make.

But if you are doing cinematic effects......*shrugs*

87: A small jewel-case box. Opening it will reveal a large red button, with the dragonese words for 'Doomsday Device' written above it. Doing any sort of scrying magic or psionics on it will prove inconclusive. Pushing it will cause the button to glow briefly, but nothing else will appear to happen. Any subsequent attempts to scry the device will result in feelings/impressions of great dread and darkness.

drewkitty ~..~ wrote:

CyCo wrote:Nice to see this topic get some loving again.

84: A Wilks laser scalpel that been 'tuned' so that the laser is variable frequency and changes color for each different frequency. If by some chance that the color of the beam is the same color as the doctor/surgeons outfit, it gives a +5% chance for any procedure when operating, +15% if the doctor/surgeon is female. Being variable frequency it can also be used to operate on mega damage creatures as well. Same bonuses as above apply.

Changing the frequency of the light changes the color of the light. Laser Beams are invisible in an atmosphere unless there is dust in the path.
Or it ionizes the gases in it's path. Even then the color of the apparent beam is the color that hot gases make.

But if you are doing cinematic effects......*shrugs*

Hush you. It's not for realism or cinematic effects. This is Rifts, it doesn't have to make sense!

8p

CyCo wrote:[
Hush you. It's not for realism or cinematic effects. This is Rifts, it doesn't have to make sense!

8p

88. A Reality Check. It's in the form of a blank paper check drawn on the Bank of Reality. Writing the name of something you regard as seriously lacking in commonsense or is utterly nonsensical, then tossing the paper up in the air will cause the object in question to more realistically conform to actual physical law, commonsense, or known patterns of activity. Thus, laws of physics re-assert themselves with a vengeance, laws of thermodynamics kick in, supernatural beings with the aerodynamics of a giant bumblebee will be unable to fly without serious effort, magic powers will disappear, almost all superpowers will vanish, etc... There is only one Reality Check found, and it will vanish the moment it is used.

89. Sealed Beer Bottle. Opening it will reveal not beer but a message written on yellowed 'U.S. Navy' stationary, stamped 'USS Ticonderoga', and dated just a year after the Coming of the Rifts. The message is a personal one, written by a seaman, and recounting his experiences since the coming of the Rifts, how the ship has decided to remain at sea and not attempt landfall, in light of the chaos happening ashore, and the man's despair of ever seeing his mainland-located family ever again...ending with his sentimental gesture of throwing his letter in the bottle overboard.
Ideally, the bottle should be found far INLAND, raising the question of how it got there, especially if the letter mentions the Ticonderoga's deployment at the time half a world away.
The bottle and letter might be of some value to a collector of pre-Rifts memorabilia, or to the scholars of Lazlo...especially if the content of the letter contains information about. the Coming of the Rifts, its effects on other parts of the globe, and possible survivors of the U.S. military.

90. Claw trimmers, demon sized.

91. Dragon Tooth Necklace---An hour after finding this item, the party encounters a dragon who threatens to gum them to death if they don't immediately hand over his teeth.

92. Automatic Demon Claw Trimmer. will complain endlessly about the heavy collar and shackles if no demon or similar creature is present.

93: You find a big box of cinematic effects. It allows you to make your actions appear like whatever you want but the result doesn't change any. A critical effect with a beam weapon makes a ten foot wide beam that makes lots of noise and is visible. But it still only makes a hole the size of the barrel. You run across a log but it looks like you leapt the whole thing, even though you still leave the foot prints across the log. COOL... its all in the appearance.

94 Dramatic Speech Transmogrifier---It looks like a translator headset but what it does is transform whatever you're saying into a much more dramatic and interesting form. Thus even a simple statement like "I'm going out to get milk' comes out sounding like "I venture forth in search of healthy sustenance!!!", and even the dumbest things to tumble from your mouth come off sounding like a King's speech on the eve of the Battle of Agincourt. Effectively adds +6 to your MA score when speaking.

95- Melodramatic Speech Transmogrifier: Like the above but there is just WAY too much emotion in your speech and it is ALWAYS over stated, over done tending to make others want to over kill you. +6 to MA but instead of trust/intimidate it is now annoy/infuriate and you always roll it, no matter what you say... heck this thing is so bad some of it even leaks out into your gestures and other body language. If you were a rock star used to getting underwear thrown at you, you've a reverse and passed by beer bottles or rotten fruit, you get daggers.

96. Melancholy Speech Transmogrifier---Renders whatever you say into the gloomiest, most depressing, heart-wrenching language possible. Reading a laundry list brings tears to listeners' eyes, reading romantic poetry has the audience sighing and trembling like an earthquake, describing your victory over Splugorth Slavers has grandmothers fawning over you and young maidens offering you sympathy sex, and talking about how your gerbil died gets you put on suicide watch by the resident Body-Fixers . Emo-Goths immediately hate you for upstaging them. +6 to MA for drawing sympathy when talking, +20% to Singing if singing the Blues, +15% to Begging skill. .

97.a spongebob squarepants toy!
not sure what you would do with it, but here ya go.

98. Mercurial Speech Transmogrifier: Perfectly usable language translator, but every time you use it (such as, say, "Can I have a sandwich?"), roll percentile dice; on a 01-50% your statements are worded as aggressive and tempermental("GET ME A####ING SANDWICH AND RIGHT ###ING NOW, YOU %#%^^#%!!!!"), 51-00% you come off as sounding saccharine-sweet and oh-so-kindly("May I PLEASE have a delightfully hand-created culinary masterpiece sandwich made by your loving hands, my dear sweet honeybunch?")

#99

1 bag of red balloons (99) internally coated with a chemical that reacts with human breath causing the air inside to be (and remain) warmer then the air around it, the effect is the balloons act as if they are filled with helium and float (no funny sounding voice if breathed in since it is only heat and air) the coating neutralizes after 1d4+2 days and the balloon will no longer float (letting the air out before the time is up and refilling it will also negate the effects of the balloon since the coating inside had been activated once already

maximum altitude is about 2000' - 500' per day (the last few days the balloon can at best maintain head height or float just above the ground) the coating and material of the balloon can cause false radar signatures looking much larger (about the same size as a fighter jet) and can seem stationary , or moving at high velocity (50/50)

the balloon only effects an area about 100' around it, so radar will only show fast moving jets in the area of the balloon, and once 100' away the ghost signature will vanish, though the balloon can be picked up on radar again as a large object

balloons in groups or alone can act as chaffs to missiles causing missiles to miss their target and be caught tracking the balloon

100.a goofy sound modulator-it makes your voice sound either like 1-50% like dippy dog(aka goofy) or 51-100% like the styritypical clown!

101: Mime Speech Transmogrifier----Ah, the blessed sound of silence.....

(table rest)
02 Toxic Jingle Generator, This creates catchy jingles and boosts the ambient PPE level of the world it is on. But this like many world changing devices it has a malevolent dark side. It can over time change mundanes into evil CoM's, and pollute the culture of the world, turning it towards the darker aspects, through the jingles it creates. Fortunately, these effects can be contained to a small region if the TJG, and it's jingles, are not used in mass media.

03. Toxic Tune Player---A single-tune music device that plays an asinine little tune THAT WILL NOT QUIT PLAYING IN YOUR HEAD!!!! Once this starts, the affected PCs must roll versus psionic attack or be stuck hearing the same damn tune over and over and over, even to the point that, no matter how much they hate the original tune, they find themselves singing or humming it. This becomes so distracting that in combat, they must save versus psionics(at a -1) or be -1 to initiative(or -2 to initiative and dodge if relying on auditory cues) for the duration of the combat, or until they are assaulted by/exposed to some other loud, catchy music, in which case they get a second roll to save at +2. U the alternative, destroying the original music player and hearing it be destroyed will break the spell.

04 Toxic Song - a copy of Britney Spears' song Toxic

05. Small Sheathed Dagger, with the words, in Dragonese, 'Only the Strong Survive', engraved on the scabbard. The first person to draw the blade from its sheath must immediately roll versus possession, as the dagger's next action is to attempt to plunge itself into the chest of the weakest member of the party.

06: A bottle of Spanish Fly. When opened 1,000,000 flies fly out of the bottle, immediately flying/crawling into the eyes/nose/ears of anyone near by. Somehow can get into enclosed environmental armour. Also, the zipper of anyones pants will open, and will be impossible to zip up until the flies disperse (1D1000 minutes). Additionally, any slimy 'd-bee' with long tongues will find the person who opened the bottle incredibly attractive. Just remember, to use protection. ;]

07: Roadkill Cookbook---Found in the middle of the remains of a pre-Rifts highway. The book is written in a dialect of Demongogian and is lavishly illustrated with pictures of ...road-killed humans. Just as the characters realize this, there's the sound of a large engine and the blare of an airhorn very close by....

08. You find the teleportation thread. It is a small piece of string that allows you to teleport anywhere except into anything made of cardboard... Or anything sealed (thank goodness because some child wanting ice cream could get teleported into a freezer and not be able to get out )... or into/onto anything moving (e.g. A car, giant robot, kaiju, moon sized battle station, or planet)... SO you can teleport "safely" into space... Thank goodness for all those safety "features"

01 Seashell---A large conch-like seashell. Holding it up to your ear, you can hear ocean noises...then a bubbling inhuman sound. Roll versus Mind Control/Possession, because the Lord of the Deep's just called you collect.

taalismn wrote:09 Seashell---A large conch-like seashell. Holding it up to your ear, you can hear ocean noises...then a bubbling inhuman sound. Roll versus Mind Control/Possession, because the Lord of the Deep's just called you collect.

freaking awesome!

02-Pair of Used Sneakers---If picked up, and anybody attempts to put them on, they pretty much fall apart. If bypassed, kicked, abused, or picked up and thrown away, they will spring to life and begin pursuing the PCs. They have four APMs, +2 to strike, kick for 1d6 SDC/MDC damage(depending on the target), and have 5 MDC each. They also run at a Speed of 25(12 if one of them is destroyed) and can jump up in the air 5 ft up/10 ft across.

Akashic Soldier wrote:

Zer0 Kay wrote:53. A round house kick to the back of the head, your head explodes. Chuck Norris is looking for his beard.

"You're dead" should never be on a random table.

Retcon

53. A ruggedly handsome bearded man in a cryogenic freezing tube.

Chuck Norris however, should be.

Pffft, impossible life saving measures should never be on a random item table. Not that Freezing Chuck Norris is a life saving measure for Chuck Norris, but to think first that freezing Chuck Norris is possible, thereby saving the life of whoever may view him, and second to think that if it was possible to freeze Chuck Norris that it would stop him from killing you. So your Retconned 53 is just as deadly as my unretconned 53. Retconned, retconned

53. A ruggedly handsome man with a fist for a chin is in a cryogenic freezing tube... you take a round house kick to the back of the head and your head explodes. Chuck Norris was looking for his beard and decided to stop by the place your at to help them thaw a cryotube that was stuck in the O-N position. Fortunately some of the cryo liquid drips off of him onto you. It is apparently almost as potent as his fabled tears, which no one has ever been able to use to cure cancer, simply because it was on him. You spontaneously regenerate a head and feel no pain. Chuck Norris says he's sorry for not kicking you in the front of the face, not because he is sorry he didn't but because he's sorry you didn't get to experience it. You actually feel depressed because you didn't get to experience it.

List 7 repost
00 - Complete set of gaming dice and dice bag.
01 - a monkey-bird!
02 - a bird-monkey!
03 - Fake monkey poo.
04 - A poo flining monkey.
05 - A monkey flinging fake poo
06 - a fake monkey flinging poo
07 - a fake monkey flinging fake poo
08 - A Zombie Monkey Clown flinging rotting entrails.
09 - A giant animated mound of poo flinging monkeys.
10 - A large set of Revolvers themed after a deck of cards. You have four suits (Diamonds, Clubs, Swords, and hearts) with a set of revolvers patterned after it's suit( Swords are all gunblades and clubs are made to pistol whip people for example). The kings are all chambered in .500 S&W, Queens are chambered in .454 Casull, Jacks are chambered in .44 Remingtom Magnum and the number cards are all chambered in .357 magnum. There is a Joker in the deck and it is a 40mm Grenade launcher.
11 - A pair of revolvers with stylized monkey emblems on the grips (.454 Casull)
12 - A pair of revolvers with stylized poo throwing monkey emblems on the grips (.45 poo)
13 - A fully auto pistol that has an odd button on the barrel that makes hardened prongs pop out near the magazine well - It is like it is a weapon for some sort of gun toting monk - Gun-do, Gun-ryu, Gun-something - or a chia golem!
14 - chia hair!plant it on your bald scalp & in 2-4 months you will have a loushos lock of green hair!
15 - A shiny new hubcap from a 1958 Volkswagon 'Combi' van with the 'split' front windows. If worn on the head, will offer a +5 on saving throws vs magic & psionic mind control. But the wearer will also have a (5%) chance of attracting 1d4 long haired hippies a day for 1d4 days. These hippies will follow the wearer of the hubcap like a lost puppy. These hippies are vulnerable, and if killed, the wearer will find he's lost the hubcap somewhere. The hippies will also make a camp fire and sing 'hippie music' whenever the party stop for longer than 10 minutes.
16 - A book titled - 'The Truth About Chuck Norris (400 facts about the worlds greatest human)'
17 - A book titled - 'STARK' by Ben Elton
18 - The complete collection of 'Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy' by Douglas Adams
19 - Jack Sparrows compass
20 - An undead monkey
21 - A still beating heart in a box
22 - A box of Fire Crackers
23 - A box of TP after going through half the box do you realize... it's already used
24 - Finger sandwiches (yes they are fingers but that is toe jam, who would eat th... roll initiative)
25 - One case of vortex grenades (40K reference, don't throw unless you want some things to go away... maybe even you)
26 - The number 42... now you have your answer go away.
27 - A wedgie board (yes I spelled it the way I want it instead of ouija) it has the instructions for a ouija board but when asked any questions its answer is always an atomic wedgie, pray to your deities that you have some underwear on.
28 - A bottle of Coke, full of urine. Found on the side of the road.
29 - A package of Hot Wheels cars.
30 - A complete sterling silver tea set with serving tray.
31 - A complete set of Rifts CCG... "what is this? Is it intel data some C.S. guy dropped?"
32 - A Red Ray version of "The Princess Bride". The next words out of your characters mouth, and anytime thereafter that something perplexes him/her is... "Thath Iconthevable!" There is a 25% chance you may refer to something like dog boys as C.O.U.S. or Rhino Buffalo as B.O.U.S. etc. You have a +25% save vs. Coma and always save vs. Death... don't worry cuz you just mostly dead. For whatever reason you despise anyone who has six fingers on their right hand... its like they killed your father and they should prepair to die. You have a 15% chance to start rhyming the last word your closest friend says in a sentence. You gain a +2 to parry and strike with a sword in your left hand but I know something you do not... you are not left handed, you may reroll initiative with a +4 when switching to your right hand AND have a +4 to strike and parry with a sword in your right hand. You have an immunity to iocane powder... whatever that is. Finally when attempting to dodge fire based traps you have an additional +3 to dodge Gee I'm not shure if this Red Ray thing is good or bad... Thath Iconthevable!
33 - A mobile city made of stone on wheels... They built this city out of rock... and it rolls! It a very small city... some would say its a model.
34 - 3d100+4d6 lost people. Did I mention these people are very small people?? Other than that, they're just ordinary John/Jane Does. One could also say, that they could live in a very small town. Some would say that town is a model.
35 - A box of tampons
36 - A box of 260 crayons all of them are colors you think you've seen before but must be in a different language or something because what the heck is salmon and mauve?
37 - An assorted box of "toys"... you don't think they've been used, it still looks sealed.
38 - A LOLCATs Poster
39 - Randy Newman sitting under an Apple Tree in front of a piano singing about whatever he sees (the PC's)
40 - A broken Vacuum Cleaner (powers up but no suction). Anyone with mechanical skills must save vs. Insanity or be obsessed with trying to fix it. No matter what they do they cannot fix it. If the character is not pulled away after 1 hour of working on it, he will be totally obsessed with it and bring it with him. Only destroying the vacuum cleaner with a large hammer will break the curse.
41 - 400# because editing them is easy... just annoying Of course that could be read as 400 lbs. of what I don't know… but it can't be good
42 - The Ring of Conventions as long as anyone in the group wears the ring all rolls for the same cause (i.e. initiative, to hit, the same skill) their rolls are averaged and everyone receives the same roll.
43 - You run into a older man he is kneeling down in front of a smashed house if anyone asks him a question he verbally assaults them with a tirade of sarcastic remarks. You are unable to understand what he is trying to convey. He finally give you the forehead palm you've been digging for and points behind you. There is a stampede of 1d6 Fury Beatles bearing down on you. Roll Initiative -5
44 - A lucky infinity ball it is black with a white circle on one side with the infinity symbol... you know a sideways 8 and a clear window on the other with a blue liquid inside. Just before you turned it over you asked yourself "what is this an infinity ball" and then when you turned it over as if out of no where comes this pollyhedron up through the blue liquid to reveal... "Yes, Definately."
45 - You find a naked Shemarian warrior... you thought they'd be sexy. But without all that skin they kind of look like the Terminator.
46 - A loose pile of flesh. When held up (yuck!), it's in the shape of a very shapely female form... just hollow!
47 - A bottle of Elderberry wine.
48 - A suit of Mega Damage armor with the liquefied remains of its owner inside
49 - A data base of all the possible encounters on Rifts organized by geographical and political area. When used the encounter happens within 1d20 minutes. Does it tell the future or cause the event?
50 - A cargo container with all brand new parts to build an suit of power armor. The instructions are in really bad Engrish. Some assembly required.
51 - The instructions to number 50 in Japanese, Russian, Chinese, Egyptian Hyroglyphics and any other language that uses non-roman symbols oh and... Antarctican (huh????) which also notes something about shoggoths, elder things and Y'Pawfrm e'din Leng but otherwise seems to actively avoid understanding. Attempting to understand the Antarctican has a 4% + IQ bonus chance of translation and a 100% chance to cause insanity if translated
52 - A stripped APC up on blocks...this must be the bad part of town.
53 - An unopenned box of Twinkies (still fresh! they really do keep forever)
54 - A "Buy 1 Get 1 Free" coupon for Uncle Remus' Emporium of the Arcane! Fine print says it's redeemable at the Chi-Town store location ONLY and expires in 3 months!
55 - What appears to be a Laser rifle cobbled together from the parts of at least a dozen different types and brands of laser rifles! And it works too! Fully charged E-clip with 50 shots, 3 damage settings for 4d6 SDC (1/2 charge), 5d6 MD (1 charge), and 1d6x10 MD (2 charges), and can be set for single shot, 3-shot pulse, or Full Auto. Cumulative 1% chance per attack that it just falls apart in the shooter's hands, leaving him with a pile of mismatched laser rifle parts and a partially charged E-clip.
56 - A Rifts Ultimate Edition Hardcover 5th printing. It's a book that appears to be a game, but who would want to play such a mundane boring game... Specially with all the typos!
57 - A weird looking weapon, consisting of a barrel and stock that look very jury rigged. The stock is a small oxygen cylinder and the clip is a cylinder with a strip removed down the side. The weapon has an optical site and just off to one side of the site is a pressure gauge. Clipped to one side of the weapon is what looks to be a bike pump, that's connected to a nipple on the oxygen cylinder. The ammo for said weapon is 15mm ball bearings. In order to fire the weapon, you have to pressure up the oxygen cylinder. This will take 1d4 actions. When fully primed, it will retain pressure for 50 shots. However, if left alone for any length of time the air will leak out of the cylinder (poorly put together). On the other hand you an over pressurize the cylinder. This will take an additional 1d4 actions. Accuracy is +1, range is 2500 feet!! Damage is 4d6 sdc, if over pressurized damage becomes 2d6 mdc!! The clip will hold 30 ball bearings. The weapon has a 5% chance of blowing a valve and not working until repaired for each time it's over pressurized. Due to the nature of the weapon, it's not automatic.
58 - A box of d100 x 1d100 15mm ball bearings.
59 - A small pin that radiates magic whenever the pin is brought near someone with a huge ego they are launched through the air and flap around like a loose baloon. They safely come to rest 50% of the time in an akward location like half their body hanging off the top shelf or under some furniture. But when they get up they are apologetic for the trouble they caused and seem to exhibit humility...
60 - An unopened package of Vampire Teeth.
61 - An unopened package of "Redneck" Teeth.
62 - A full set of somebody's Dentures.
63 - A DVD of the Movie "Blazing Saddles"
64 - A childs Teddy Bear, that when squeezed in the belly, says "Momma"
65 - A Plush Green...thing, with Large Yellow eyes and Tentacles for a mouth. It's mildly...disturbing (H.F. of 4).
66 - A Plush Purple Dinosaur, that when squeezed at the belly, sings "I Love You...." Disturbing (H.F. of 8 )
67 - A Stop Sign.
68 - A large, tattered piece of parchment. Written on it, in flowing script, "We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America." (The text continues...as the U.S. Constitution)
69 - A well preserved and sealed collection of Comic Books...the entire collection (GM - determine which ones. Could be every Superman, Batman, Hulk, Spiderman, Star Trek, Star Wars, etc. ever made...)
70 - A "Magic Trick" kit. (Be the first on your block to be able to cut your Sister in half!)
71 - Box of papers containing somebody's tax records.
72 - Box of papers containing family photo's (Both 2D and 3D)
73 - A set of dishes (50/50 chance they are unbroken).
74 - A wooden box containing a set of family silverware.
75 - A box of sports trophies and medals.
76 - Cook Books (Choose theme - Chinese, Steaks, Ribs, Vegan, Italian, Mexican, etc).
77 - Box of Wires (Speaker, power wires, etc.) but not the devices they go to.
78 - Box of Devices (DVD Player, VCR, 8-Track, Cassette, etc), but not the wires (or remotes) that go to them.
79 - A 3-ring binder with Instruction booklets for various Devices (DVD Player, VCR, 8-Track, Cassette, etc).
80 - A box of kids stuffed animals. No batteries required.
81 - A book, titled "Military Installations for the Retiree" dated 2097. A map shows where the Installations are located in the United States and provides a short description of the Base (For a "visitor" - no classified) and contact Numbers.
82 - Box of board games.
83 - Box of Role Playing Games.
84 - A stroller.
85 - A high chair.
86 - A cat carrier...fur still inside, but no cat to be seen.
87 - A small plastic box of keys and key rings. No identifiable purpose.
88 - A box of arts & crafts supplies.
89 - A House Cleaning Robot. Still in working condition, just needs to be recharged (Runs on Batteries...NOT Nuclear powered).
90 - An uncashed check, dated 21 Dec 2098.
91 - A Driver's Licence. (GM determine who. Male/Female, Race, Age, Organ Donal, Address, etc).
92 - Bottle of Finely Aged "Ripple" (Poison Save vs 13. Vomit if failed. Ill for 2-days).
93 - Bottle of Finely Aged Scotch
94 - Bottle of Finely Aged Jack Daniels (Black Label)
95 - Bottle of Finely Aged Capn' Morgan
96 - Bottle of Finely Aged Johnnie Walker
97 - Bottle of Finely Aged Jagermeister (Poison Save vs 10. Vomit if failed. Sick for rest of the day).
98 - Bottle of Finely Aged Jim Beam
99 - Bottle of Finely Aged Sake
100 - Bottle of Finely Aged Red Wine (No Label. 25% chance that it has turned rancid. If rancid then Poison Save vs 12. Vomit if failed. Sick for 1-2 days).

List 8
01- A Giant Plush Raphael Doll
02- A Pound Puppy, this ones name is Dave and he isn't too happy stuck in a Doberman sized dog carrier, even though he is a Doberman... Dogboy.
03- A computer with a single red eye. As you get near it asks you where you have been. No matter what you say it replies negatively as if it knows your plotting against it... and for some reason it always refers to you as Dave.
04- A flute... it smells funny and it brings back memories of band camp.
05- A slide from a trombone. However it's actually about 12 meters long and perfect for a kiddies slide.
06- A box of Scooby Snacks, with a free toy. In this case, the dog tags from a real Dog Boy.
07- Some skinny dude in odd clothing... flops by. "SCOOB Where are you, buddy?"
08- You find a tesla coil... it hurts... not because it is discharging but because you found it when it fell from above on you.
09- Sir Pounce a Lot or A scratched up copy of the Pre Rifts game C&C Yuri's revenge
10- A jukebox with only 80's hair band music
11- A giant wig... as you approach it it shivers and makes squeaking sounds
12- You find one Humuhumunukunukuahpuahah
13- one 40 lbs. box of RAPE from http://www.whosentmethis.com (because you know they will want to open it)
14- a case of epicac from Morts' drug store, one box of tampons, one package of depends adult diapers, 2 mason jars filled with a mystery fluid
15- A Straw...
16- A Rhino Buffalo Leg... its still connected. Roll Init.
17- You find a Buffalo Wing... you'd wonder if it tasted good if it wasn't attatched to a Gene Splicer RhinoBuffalo/Dragon experiment! RUNNNNN
18- A board game titled Rifts. Hmm, guess they finally made it
19- A board game made by a bunch of high school students.
20- In a derilict high school is a bunch of D-bee kids passing around various smoking substances and accessories. When they see the party nothing they say makes any sense. if magic is used...it still doesn't make sense.
21- A yellow sign.
22- A super-soaker water gun- Holds 2.5 gallons of water.
23- A WWII American made flame-thrower, fully charged.
24- M-1 rifle with 1d4 box(es) of ammo- 50 rds/box.
25- Thompson .45 cal- machine gun with: roll 1d100, 1-50 = 2 100 rd drums; 51-100 = 4 30 rd magazines.
26- A naked human male about 30ish yrs old, trudging.
27- A begger of random race with begging bowl.."Alms for the poor?"
28- The letters "S O S" 5 foot long on ground/road.
29- Small foot locker full of green and tan plastic army men in various poses.
30- A ticking 1 foot cube package brightly wrapped with festive bow, no card.
31- A knight's lance.
32- A green snake 1d4 feet long.
33- A freshly baked apple pie.
34- Find bigbobsr6000 trying to count 30, 31, 32, 33… Hey bigbob what ya doing? Uh counting 35, 36…
35- A jewel encrusted dagger.
36- .38 cal- police special handgun, 6 shot with 1d6x6 rounds.
37- Frosted cold 32oz- mug of root beer.
38- Guns & Ammo magazine, April 2011 issue.
39- Find bigbobr6000 still trying to cound 37, 38… Hey bigbob ya know your only supposed to be posting two at a time? It's kinda supposed to be a game. Hey bigbob what number you on now? Uh… 40. Excellent bigbob.
40- Open face spin casting reel with 6 foot graphite rod rated 25-40 lbs.
41- Find a right foot, yours...you fall down. Your right foot is missing- On the plus side you have your foot, just not attached.
42- 1d6+2 Demon Hounds looking for lunch and souls......
43- Receive message: Your funeral arrangements have been made.
44- Fire & brimstone rain from the sky, 200 ft radius centered on you for 1d4 Rounds. Chance of starting fires, 0-61%. All in range take 5d6 damage/Round.
45- A Red Dragon swoops down to have you and your party for a snack.
46- “Telegram” says a well dressed Bell-hop all in red. He gives you a telegram, tips his hat and leaves. It states: “Good luck in your next action- We suggest it be a Dodge. Signed; Best Wishes from the Luck & Improbability Guild.” You look around, a huge bladed pendulum is swinging low to the ground in your direction.
47- A field of “Poppies…..Poppies….Poppies….” 100 ft radius springs up. Save vs Coma. Fail = Laying down in the field, falling into a deep Coma- Lasts 1d4 days.
48- 1d6x10 Zombies arise from the ground to attack.
49- “Help! Help! I’m being repressed….” Sir Arthur, King of the Britain’s, appears before you & tells you, “Stop it…..be quiet, old man.” He disappears. A random Party Member is so dumb struck, can not speak for 1d6 days.
50- “Telegram” says a well-dressed Bellhop all in red. He gives you a telegram, tips his hat and leaves. It states: “LOOK OUT!” Signed; Good Luck, from the Luck & Improbability Guild.” You see a World War II Nazi BF-109 Messer Schmidt diving in your direction, guns blazing- Damage 1d6x10 if hit.
51- A river of lava.
52- A warrior's arm and sword in another part of the Palladium world happens to slash through a hole in space hitting you instead of its intended target. You get a really good close-up of a Dwarven-made broadsword taking 1d8+4 points of damage in the process. Dodge vs 16.
53- Cyborg with laser pistol pointed at your back. 2d4x10 damage if hit.
54- A bunch of flowers, different types, 24 all in all. Appear before your feet with a card. The card reads: " We humbly apologize for not telling you to duck earlier... Love: The council of most unbelievable and unpredictable accidents." If you look up when you’ve read this you see a gray stone made windmill falling directly on you from the sky. If hit suffer 2d6x10 points of damage.
55- A eunuch materializes in front of a random party member and insists on giving them PLEASURE!!!
56- Attacked by a whole nest of wild bees. The attack lasts for 1d6 Rounds. Damage 1d6x6 1st round, decrease damage by x1 per round after first. (EX: 2nd rd 1d6x5, 3rd rd 1d6x4, etc.)
57- "Just who do you think you are!!? GET OFF MY HEAD!!!" Screams a stone from under your boot and gives you the evil eye.
58- "Pleased to meet you. Allow me to introduce myself...!" You find yourself in a large very warm dining hall at one end of a large oak-table facing a handsome dark-eyed young man. He looks at you and has a sip of his wine, smiles and says: " I have a proposal to make, but first we eat hmm?" The dinner you’re served is the best you’ve had in your entire life, the man small talks during the meal. After you’re finished he personally serves you a glass of vintage wine and asks you to do a favor for him." It is of course voluntary, since I wouldn’t dream of forcing you to do anything against your will." He will not tell you the nature of the favor until you agree. If you refuse he will simply send you back...
59- A group of wandering pilgrims (3d6) mistakes a Party Member for a saint and starts harassing them with prayers, offerings and submission. They will be very hard to get rid of and may act violently when the truth is revealed, depending on their religion of course.
60- JACKPOT!!!! Every one within 100 yards of the spot hears the clanging of a loud bell calling attention. Persons close see a red light flashing on top of a slot machine. One-thousand gold coins start pouring out, spilling on the ground bouncing & rolling every where. Each coin is worth 5,000 Credits (or currency of the realm)!!! Everyone must make Save vs Greed of 30% (if they choose to). 31%+ Fails. All who failed (or want to) will dive for the coins & roll Initiative. High goes first. Then roll a percentile or 1d100 to see how many coins they retrieved ( if roll is 56, they got 56 coins, total can not be more than 1,000). Any and all NPCs in area get chance to grab the gold, so be sure, GM, to include those in the Initiative roll. GM's choice if melee breaks out to take coins form others including NPCs.
61- Earthquake!! Crack in the earth opens up, plumeting all to their death unless an appropriate Dodge is made. Also, a To Hit to grab edge of crack can save one from certain death.
62- Fail to notice a punji sticks pitfall. Damage 2d4x10+20.
63- A plaque of frogs become attached to the Party for 1d4+3 days.
64- Find an unidentifable (by any means) potion. If drank, roll 1d100: 1-33=Poison (Save vs. Coma); 34-66=Full Heal; 67-99=Intelligence Drain (-1d4x5 to Intelligence) Will recover only 1 Intelligence point per day of loss; 100 or 00=Death (Save vs. Death).
65- Acid rains from the sky. All take 1d4x5 damage per round untill leave area or stops. Acid rain covers 1 mile radius. Acid rains for 1d6x5 rounds.
66- In minefield. Damage 2d6x10+20 per mine. Roll 1d100: 1-70=BOOM!!! take damage; 71-100=Didn't step on one. Must roll 1d100 2d6 times to exit minefield. Roll individually for all affected.
67- Pile of human entrails, 10 foot diameter, 6 foot high.
68- See 3 red light dots in a tight triangle form on the person/creature in front of you......
69- Ground trembling, foilage/buildings in distance being parted headed toward Party. A creature of enormous size chaging!!......(GM insert creature of choice).
70- Suddenly surrounded by 2d6x10 Zombies!!!
71- Quicksand!! Sink 2 feet per round.
72- A Vampiric Daywalker attacks.
73- Pack of 2d4+2 Werewolves attack.
74- Lightning strike hits random Party Member, 2d6x10+30 electrical damage. Roll 1d100: 1-60= shorting out any electrical equipment within 20 foot radius. All others in same radius take 1d6x10+10 electrical damage.
75- Find a relic of some importance. A Deity wants it back. (GM's choice as to what happens next).
76- "That's the one!!" yells someone accompanied by several authority type figures. They are pointing at a random Party Member. (The authority type figures could be guards, government officials, officiers of the law, or a gang of thugs, as example. GM's choice.) What ever they are or their intent, they give chase toward the Party Member in question.
77- A random Party Member matches the description/picture of a wanted criminal in next town. Reward is 100,000 credits (or coin of the realm). Dead or alive.
78- Roll 1d6 on times on this or any other GM's table in use.
79- Nothing happens.
80- Encounter a very dense fog/cloud. Visibility is zero. Scanners, radars, magical insight, etc. are useless. Lasts 1d6x3+2 rounds. Watch your step.
81- A can of sardines.
82- A demon summoning scroll. Good luck controling it.............
83- Blood oozing from the ground/floor in 20 foot square. Wonder what it will attract??..........
84- Coalition transport lands nearby. 2 fully armed Coalition Squads emerge.
85- A 24 pack case of Psi-Cola.
86- a pallet of 'Pepsi Nex Zero' (anime or live)
87- a giant shuruiken (2.78' across)
88- a Death metal CD
89- 1' long 1/4" square stock steal with one end made into a spoon.
90- ipod with 100gig memnory, but is stuck of repeat play of David Bowi's "Safty Dance"
91- A cupcake with a note, "Eat Me".
92- A bottle witha a note, "Drink Me".
93- Notice at least one Dog Boy following the Party.
94- Suddenly turns freezing with blinding snow....Blizzard!! Lasts 1d4 hours.
95- Meteor shower impacts as far as the eye sees. Each one does 2d20x2 damage on impact. Roll 1d100 per round per PC/NPC/Vehicle: 1-65=Hit take damage; 66-100=Miss no damage. Lasts 2d6+2 rounds.
96- Coors Light Beer 12 pack.
97- A teddy bear. Possesed?
98- A "Chucky" doll.
99- Sign post up ahead reads, "The Twlight Zone".
100- Have reached from the inner mind to "The Outer Limits".

03. Can of Pickled Tentacles---Opening what appears to be a can (or jar) of marinated seafood, will instantly unleash a Reacher of the Lord of the Deep. The 300-ft long tentacle will wave drunkenly around for 1d4x10 melees, doing considerably damage just by sheer mass alone, but it will not actually grab anybody. At the end of a random period of time, it will collapse back to the ground, and withdraw back into the can before disappearing completely, leaving behind a few drippings of an alcoholic marinara that quickly evaporates. Just as well, because anybody attempting to take a drink of the stuff will take 6d6(or 3d6 MD) in Hit Point damage, starting with their liver exploding. On a roll versus lethal poison, damage is halved, but a state of intense intoxication/alcohol poisoning insues, lasting 4d8 hours. Even sniffing the stuff will sear sinuses, removing the person's sense of smell for 6d6 hours.

List 9
1- A light brown Shetland Pony.
2- a Jaberwalky
3- the hatter's hat
4- a levitating climbing rope
5- A magical 3do with 1 controller and a Need for Speed game.
6- an Empire Buster Suit that is unbeatable.
7- cupie doll. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kewpie_doll
8- A stupid gun... it launches data disks at rediculous speeds causing 3d6x10 MD and the loss of 1 I.Q. point to the target with a range of 2500'. The ammunition must contain intel files. Yup the gun destroys intelligence. :)
9- An anatomically correct inflatable doll of Zer0 Kay.
10- An anatomically INcorrect inflatable doll of Zer0 Kay (GM's discretion as to just how incorrect or in what ways it may be)
10- You find a cardboard box. In the box are a pair of knee pads, and a pair of velcro gloves. On the box is a tag, which reads 'From New Zealand'. 8p

12- A box that says "Glitter Boy". You open it, and its a cardboard cut out of Edward Cullin.
13- A loudner. It's a firearm attachment, similar to a silencer, but works just the opposite. It acts as a loud speaker, amplifying the sound of the gun firing. So a 9mm pistol might actually sound like a 5.56mm assault rifle. Also note that because it's #13, the welder has twice the chance of things going wrong, or double the chance of a 'chance encounter'. 8p
14- A cellphone sock knitted from wool. It's pink, and has a cartoonish figure of a white kitty with a bow on it's head. When worn on any communication device (as long as the sock is fitted over part, say one side of a pair of earphones), it grants twice the range bonus and crystal clear clarity.
15- A electric Delorian.
16- A Rock Lobster. Up to the GM how large it is (miniature, life sized, 5 foot long, 50 foot long, whatever), and if it's just a statue, or a living stone elemental. Or if it plays music. ;]
17- A box of milk duds... not the candy, these cows just don't work... BTW it is a BIG box.
18- A theremin, along with an amp and mic stand.
19- a video of a Thermian playing a Theremin
20- a living mink stole!
21- A Simvan rider mounted in a saddle riding a RT Valkyrie in Gyrwalk mode. It works and there is no pilot inside
22- A Simvan rider mounted in a saddle riding a MAC III. It is working and there is no crew inside.
23- A Simvan mounted on a . . . oh . . . maybe you should give them some privacy.
24- A box of Simvan sized prophylactics. Pack of 12, 11 are still sealed and unused, but the last one was replaced after use! Ewww! And you picked the box up and opened it!! Yuk!! Roll a save vs HF 14 or loose your lunch.
25-a gallion of flubber(the old kind that stank)
26- What is semi-opaque white and comes in gallons?? NO... its sillicone grease for large machinery like radar main drive gears. A whole gallon of it with a pack of latex gloves... watch out it eats through those.
27- A box. In the box is a 5 gallon bottle of veterinary lubricant, and a box of latex gloves that go right the way up to your shoulder!!
28- You find what must be the uniform of a 60' tall giant trailling off to what must be a bed... you also find the uniform of a 6' tall humanoid trailing off to the same "bed". On the bed, which is really just a large flat stone slab you find nothing but a wet suit, and scuba gear...
29- A blood spattered running blender
30- You find a store. It sells spatulas. If you buy 9, you get the tenth one for just one penny.
31-You find 1d10 animated cooking utensiles, not a spatula among them, yet they all claim "I am Spatula!"
32- A +1 Mace of Spatula Slaying
33- A +6 dagger of ogre slaying... and a tavern bill
34- (was originally 11, but there were two, fortunately someone forgot that 34 and nine other numbers came after 33)- A stealth Boy. it's battery is fried and the whole unit is pretty well ruined.
-1 karma."
35- (was originally 47, but the same person who skipped from 33 to 44 posted it)- A suit of Glitterboy armour, 'mint in box'. Never been used. The date on the crate reveals it to be from the Golden Age. But, it has digitgrade legs (dog legs). So, it can only be used by Dog Boys.
36- Mime Speech Transmogrifier----Ah, the blessed sound of silence.....
37- Toxic Jingle Generator, This creates catchy jingles and boosts the ambient PPE level of the world it is on. But this like many world changing devices it has a malevolent dark side. It can over time change mundanes into evil CoM's, and pollute the culture of the world, turning it towards the darker aspects, through the jingles it creates. Fortunately, these effects can be contained to a small region if the TJG, and it's jingles, are not used in mass media.
38- Toxic Tune Player---A single-tune music device that plays an asinine little tune THAT WILL NOT QUIT PLAYING IN YOUR HEAD!!!! Once this starts, the affected PCs must roll versus psionic attack or be stuck hearing the same damn tune over and over and over, even to the point that, no matter how much they hate the original tune, they find themselves singing or humming it. This becomes so distracting that in combat, they must save versus psionics(at a -1) or be -1 to initiative(or -2 to initiative and dodge if relying on auditory cues) for the duration of the combat, or until they are assaulted by/exposed to some other loud, catchy music, in which case they get a second roll to save at +2. U the alternative, destroying the original music player and hearing it be destroyed will break the spell.
39- Toxic Song - a copy of Britney Spears' song Toxic
40- Small Sheathed Dagger, with the words, in Dragonese, 'Only the Strong Survive', engraved on the scabbard. The first person to draw the blade from its sheath must immediately roll versus possession, as the dagger's next action is to attempt to plunge itself into the chest of the weakest member of the party.
41- A bottle of Spanish Fly. When opened 1,000,000 flies fly out of the bottle, immediately flying/crawling into the eyes/nose/ears of anyone near by. Somehow can get into enclosed environmental armour. Also, the zipper of anyones pants will open, and will be impossible to zip up until the flies disperse (1D1000 minutes). Additionally, any slimy 'd-bee' with long tongues will find the person who opened the bottle incredibly attractive. Just remember, to use protection. ;]
42-Roadkill Cookbook---Found in the middle of the remains of a pre-Rifts highway. The book is written in a dialect of Demongogian and is lavishly illustrated with pictures of ...road-killed humans. Just as the characters realize this, there's the sound of a large engine and the blare of an airhorn very close by....
43- You find the teleportation thread. It is a small piece of string that allows you to teleport anywhere except into anything made of cardboard... Or anything sealed (thank goodness because some child wanting ice cream could get teleported into a freezer and not be able to get out )... or into/onto anything moving (e.g. A car, giant robot, kaiju, moon sized battle station, or planet)... SO you can teleport "safely" into space... Thank goodness for all those safety "features"
44- The Spork of Damocles!
45- A nondescript wooden box. Under the dust is stenciled:

TOP SECRET
ARMY INTEL 9906753
DO NOT OPEN!

Inside is the Ark of the Covenant.* If it is opened, it is found to be empty except for half of a 6000-year-old lobster. The lobster communicates telepathically and could really use a drink. It is skilled in Ancient Warfare (Ethiopian) at 98%.

[*No, this is not the original Ark, but the tourist copy Solomon gave to the Queen of Sheba.]

46- A beat up netbook from early 21st century, filled with pony porn from 4chan. It is otherwise useless.
47- A computer program that decodes pony porn into the formula for Chromium armour.
48- Locked Official-looking Safety Deposit Box with High Tech Lock
Upon opening, a springloaded punching glove pops out and punches you in the face.
The glove can be reset for the next sucker to find.
Closer inspection will reveal a microdisc hidden behind a false bottom of the box, with '1,000 Best Practical Jokes of the World' on it, dated several days after the Coming of the Rifts.
49- A Box with a keyboard, that seems to have been discarded. It has the symbol of an apple with a bite taken out of it on the casing. You assume it must be a computer but it is rediculously slow and impossible to open so there is no way to upgrade it. You figure the symbol of the manufacturer must have been chosen because it looks good and works awesome at first but when it consumed/outdated you just chuck it like an apple. Oddly enough you realize it still more powerful than your super high tech pocket computer...
50- Chuck Norris' beard
51- A sham-wow
52- A slap-chop
53- A ruggedly handsome man with a fist for a chin is in a cryogenic freezing tube... you take a round house kick to the back of the head and your head explodes. Chuck Norris was looking for his beard and decided to stop by the place your at to help them thaw a cryotube that was stuck in the O-N position. Fortunately some of the cryo liquid drips off of him onto you. It is apparently almost as potent as his fabled tears, which no one has ever been able to use to cure cancer, simply because it was on him. You spontaneously regenerate a head and feel no pain. Chuck Norris says he's sorry for not kicking you in the front of the face, not because he is sorry he didn't but because he's sorry you didn't get to experience it. You actually feel depressed because you didn't get to experience it.
54- A regular wood cutting ax and flask of Holy Water.
55- A black stove top hat.
56- A pointed stick. You can attack someone with it instead of using fruit.
57- A well dressed rabbit in a plaid waist coat with pocket watch goes running by. Seems to be in a great hurry.
58- Step in a wad of sticky chewing gum.
59- A blank journal like book with fountain pen and 8 ounce bottle of black ink. Book has 500 pages.
60- A potted Aloe Plant. Pot is a 1 foot cube. Plant extends 1 foot high and 1 foot wide. Has a dozen spike leaves.
61. A fan. A teenaged individual dressed in the character's merchandise* shows up and starts loudly screaming in joy. Will follow the character around for the next 1D6 hours asking for an autograph, asking to get their pictures taken together, offering to bear the character's love child and offering to assist the character if he goes to the bathroom.

* If character does not have a merchandise deal then someone is obviously ripping them off, great adventure hook.
62- a laquered wooden box. inside you find a chunk of volcanic basalt, and a label on the lid saying "This one rock". apon reading the label, you will have a compulsion to find a way to destroy 'this one rock'. (GM note: the rock is a common peice of stone, with no special power)
63- A Fed-Ex package with a very important letter. It weighs 1 lbs. It must be delivered to 1126 1/2 West Main Street, Buttsville (pronounced boots-vil), TX 44567-0022. DO NOT OPEN! It is post marked 21 December 2098, so note this letter is over 108,040 days late so HURRY!
64- A gecko shaped like a rock. How do you know it's a gecko if it's shaped like a rock? Well you pick it up and ask it. Duh! 8p
65- A beret with a 'whoopsie' in it. Yech!
66- A synthetic, all robotic, Wife-in-a-Box
Satisfaction may vary, company is not responsible for any sudden sentience, morality, or feelings of emotions.
67- A robotic butler. When found, is turned off. When turned on, it constantly makes the lamest butt jokes. After turning it on, the on/off switch stops working. Only way to stop it is to destroy it. Whilst telling lame butt jokes, it will still follow commands, serve you dinner, etc. The only way to destroy it is to attack it relentlessly. Made of the rarest form of unobtanioum, it can take an infinite amount of damage. However, 10,000 successful attacks against it, regardless of damage caused, will cause it to explode, doing d100xd100 points of MD in a d100 radius.
68- A box of used rubber batons. Keep your mind out of the gutter!! lol These are the rubber batons used by police when breaching doors in operations usually done by S.W.A.T. As such, these are fired by shotguns, usually at the point of the lock mechanism and/or hinges. The shotgun shells, gunpowder, and the shotgun are not found with these. In the box are 1D10x1d10 of the rubber batons.
69- A Greater Limited Rod of Frost.
Casts magical homing frost bolts that do 10d6 SDC up to a range of 1000 feet. The rod works up to 50 times but once activated only lasts for 96 hours and then disintegrates. (1 bolt per melee action.)
70- A little dog, answers to Toto. Could be found anywhere, just not in Kansas. If in Kansas, reroll this result, or have a house land on your head instead.
71- a map of oz,not the land of oz,I mean the old name for australia!(not apilicaple IN australia mind you)
72- Box of Stale Donuts: cardboard box containing a dozen stale plain donuts. Thing is, you take out the donuts and close the box, open it up again, and there's..you guessed it...twelve stale donuts. It's the Infinitely Renewing Box of Stale Donuts.
73- 'Smartphone' ---A battered pre-Rifts personal smartphone. It is of high quality(would bring 2d4x100 credits even now), with hardened casing and advanced personal communications encryption, and even better, its memory has survived enough to show it belonged to a prominent pre-Rifts celebrity pop star. Its log, when decoded, shows several messages to various other artists, several 10-15 minute impromptu riffs of songs never released or WIPs, and a final message regarding a transfer of valuables to a new 'hard site' somewhere on the American West Coast. The inventory is fragmentary, and the location of the private bunker is not PRECISELY located, but what survives indicates the celebrity was stashing away some SERIOUS goods, including vehicles, worth quite a fortune if sold to the right people. Road trip time?
74- A 'dumb phone'. This appears exactly as the one above at result # 73, but as soon as you turn it on and go to make a call, all of a sudden you're in full 'blonde in meaningless discussion but is amazingly important to you, waving your spare arm around and talking loudly, making 'huh', 'um', 'oh yar' 'uhum', 'o really'' moments. You'll go on and on (and on, and on, and on, and on, and......), about absolutely nothing in particular (for 1d6 x 1d6 minutes). If someone leans in to hear the other person speaking, they won't be able to determine what they're saying, if it's male or female, accents or anything like that, but they will indeed hear someone on the other end of the line. If anyone tries to interrupt you, or to take the phone off of you, you'll give them the 'stern look' of unapproval. This person must make a Save vs a Fear Factor of 8 + 2d4. If they fail, they retreat away to at least 5 meters, or to the further point in the room if inside. If they make their save, they're compelled to still leave you alone, murmuring 'Sorry' under their breath when ever you look in their direction. When your call is finally over and you hang up, you instantly forget who you were talking to or what you were talking about, other than some vague recollection of a dog(boy?) in a pink handbag.
75- a "smart phone" like a "dumb phone" but you talk like albert einstien!(you know "e=ms2" guy)
76- 'Dumb Phone'---Trying to speak into it, the holder discovers they've gone mute for 1d4x10 minutes. Hope you're good at pantomime.
77- ""Smart @$$ Phone"" -- like having a intelligent device that hates you.
"You're really pushing my buttons and you don't even know what a TENTH of them do, you sausage-fingered ape! Why don't you give me to the eight year old in your party! Maybe HE can show you how to properly use me! And oh gods, don't use the camera function to take pictures of yourself! My photochip will crack! Ye gawd but you are ugly! A face like that should be declared ILLEGAL!!!! What are my other functions?! Can I tell the correct time? I'll tell you what time it is! It's time somebody put you out of my misery! Can I take messages from your friends? You're joking, right? Who'd want to befriend YOU?! What aps do I have? Nothing that can erase the memory of seeing your hideous face or listening to your inspid conversation..."
78- ---Flea Collar---A rather plain-looking leather collar that looks like any of a number of pest-repellent devices available on the market. Donning this, however, will make the wearer IRRESISTIBLE to fleas, rather than the reverse, and the wearer will quickly become infested with little blood suckers.
79- A Dog:
1-33: It has three heads... RUN
34-66: It's aflame... RUN
67-99: It walks on two legs and has human features... Run
100: It's a Puppy! Aw... Pet it. Roll initiative, should have Ran
80- Abe's stovepipe hat, you reach in and pull out a(n):
1- Rabbit
2-20- Annoyed Rhinoceros
21- Rabbit
22-40- Grumpy Alligator
41- Rabbit
42-60- Perturbed Ostrich
61- Rabbit
60-80- Angry Elephant
81- Rabbit
82- 100- Rabid Wombat
101- Rabbit?
81- green slime-you found the old you can't do that on television studio!
82- A kinked and twisted slinky. Save vs. non-lethal poison or sit there for 1d4 minutes trying to fix the slinky.
83- Paging Device---A small black plastic and metal electronic cellphone-thingy with one setting. Pushing the button will almost immediately draw a response from the other end of the connection; a gruff male voice that asks what you want. Several minutes of confused and awkward conversation will reveal that the person on the other end is Emperor Prosek(or at least CLAIMS to be Emperor Prosek) who will ultimately demand 'How did you get this number?!'. Repeated use of this device is apparently untraceable, but any extensive abuse of it will result in any subsequent encounter with Coalition forces finding the device in the PCs' possession resulting in immediate execution of said PCs 'on the Emperor's direct and personal orders'.
84- A Wilks laser scalpel that been 'tuned' so that the laser is variable frequency and changes colour for each different frequency. If by some chance that the colour of the beam is the same colour as the doctor/surgeons outfit, it gives a +5% chance for any procedure when operating, +15% if the doctor/surgeon is female. Being variable frequency it can also be used to operate on mega damage creatures as well. Same bonuses as above apply.
85- a goofy hat from Disney land/world!
86- A whip made from a Metztla tentacle. +1 to strike and entangle females. Plus anybody handling it will carry a scent of Metztla for 2d4 days. Any Metztla that comes within sniffing range will immediately attack those who have held the whip.
87- A small jewel-case box. Opening it will reveal a large red button, with the dragonese words for 'Doomsday Device' written above it. Doing any sort of scrying magic or psionics on it will prove inconclusive. Pushing it will cause the button to glow briefly, but nothing else will appear to happen. Any subsequent attempts to scry the device will result in feelings/impressions of great dread and darkness.
88- A Reality Check. It's in the form of a blank paper check drawn on the Bank of Reality. Writing the name of something you regard as seriously lacking in commonsense or is utterly nonsensical, then tossing the paper up in the air will cause the object in question to more realistically conform to actual physical law, commonsense, or known patterns of activity. Thus, laws of physics re-assert themselves with a vengeance, laws of thermodynamics kick in, supernatural beings with the aerodynamics of a giant bumblebee will be unable to fly without serious effort, magic powers will disappear, almost all superpowers will vanish, etc... There is only one Reality Check found, and it will vanish the moment it is used.
89- Sealed Beer Bottle. Opening it will reveal not beer but a message written on yellowed 'U.S. Navy' stationary, stamped 'USS Ticonderoga', and dated just a year after the Coming of the Rifts. The message is a personal one, written by a seaman, and recounting his experiences since the coming of the Rifts, how the ship has decided to remain at sea and not attempt landfall, in light of the chaos happening ashore, and the man's despair of ever seeing his mainland-located family ever again...ending with his sentimental gesture of throwing his letter in the bottle overboard.
Ideally, the bottle should be found far INLAND, raising the question of how it got there, especially if the letter mentions the Ticonderoga's deployment at the time half a world away.
The bottle and letter might be of some value to a collector of pre-Rifts memorabilia, or to the scholars of Lazlo...especially if the content of the letter contains information about. the Coming of the Rifts, its effects on other parts of the globe, and possible survivors of the U.S. military.
90- Claw trimmers, demon sized.
91- Dragon Tooth Necklace---An hour after finding this item, the party encounters a dragon who threatens to gum them to death if they don't immediately hand over his teeth.
92- Automatic Demon Claw Trimmer. will complain endlessly about the heavy collar and shackles if no demon or similar creature is present.
93- You find a big box of cinematic effects. It allows you to make your actions appear like whatever you want but the result doesn't change any. A critical effect with a beam weapon makes a ten foot wide beam that makes lots of noise and is visible. But it still only makes a hole the size of the barrel. You run across a log but it looks like you leapt the whole thing, even though you still leave the foot prints across the log. COOL... its all in the appearance.
94- Dramatic Speech Transmogrifier---It looks like a translator headset but what it does is transform whatever you're saying into a much more dramatic and interesting form. Thus even a simple statement like "I'm going out to get milk' comes out sounding like "I venture forth in search of healthy sustenance!!!", and even the dumbest things to tumble from your mouth come off sounding like a King's speech on the eve of the Battle of Agincourt. Effectively adds +6 to your MA score when speaking.
95- Melodramatic Speech Transmogrifier: Like the above but there is just WAY too much emotion in your speech and it is ALWAYS over stated, over done tending to make others want to over kill you. +6 to MA but instead of trust/intimidate it is now annoy/infuriate and you always roll it, no matter what you say... heck this thing is so bad some of it even leaks out into your gestures and other body language. If you were a rock star used to getting underwear thrown at you, you've a reverse and passed by beer bottles or rotten fruit, you get daggers.
96- Melancholy Speech Transmogrifier---Renders whatever you say into the gloomiest, most depressing, heart-wrenching language possible. Reading a laundry list brings tears to listeners' eyes, reading romantic poetry has the audience sighing and trembling like an earthquake, describing your victory over Splugorth Slavers has grandmothers fawning over you and young maidens offering you sympathy sex, and talking about how your gerbil died gets you put on suicide watch by the resident Body-Fixers . Emo-Goths immediately hate you for upstaging them. +6 to MA for drawing sympathy when talking, +20% to Singing if singing the Blues, +15% to Begging skill.
97- a spongebob squarepants toy!
98- Mercurial Speech Transmogrifier: Perfectly usable language translator, but every time you use it (such as, say, "Can I have a sandwich?"), roll percentile dice; on a 01-50% your statements are worded as aggressive and tempermental("GET ME A####ING SANDWICH AND RIGHT ###ING NOW, YOU %#%^^#%!!!!"), 51-00% you come off as sounding saccharine-sweet and oh-so-kindly("May I PLEASE have a delightfully hand-created culinary masterpiece sandwich made by your loving hands, my dear sweet honeybunch?")
99- 1 bag of red balloons (99) internally coated with a chemical that reacts with human breath causing the air inside to be (and remain) warmer then the air around it, the effect is the balloons act as if they are filled with helium and float (no funny sounding voice if breathed in since it is only heat and air) the coating neutralizes after 1d4+2 days and the balloon will no longer float (letting the air out before the time is up and refilling it will also negate the effects of the balloon since the coating inside had been activated once already

maximum altitude is about 2000' - 500' per day (the last few days the balloon can at best maintain head height or float just above the ground) the coating and material of the balloon can cause false radar signatures looking much larger (about the same size as a fighter jet) and can seem stationary , or moving at high velocity (50/50)

the balloon only effects an area about 100' around it, so radar will only show fast moving jets in the area of the balloon, and once 100' away the ghost signature will vanish, though the balloon can be picked up on radar again as a large object

balloons in groups or alone can act as chaffs to missiles causing missiles to miss their target and be caught tracking the balloon
100- a goofy sound modulator-it makes your voice sound either like 1-50% like dippy dog(aka goofy) or 51-100% like the styritypical clown!