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Arnie100 wrote:(Jail Cell, GMP HQ)

Khyron: "It's moving...AGAIN! PROTOCULTURE SAVE ME!!"
Corg; "Anything, PLEASE! MAKE IT STOP!"
Sammie: "We haven't DONE anything....YET!"
Annie: "Mr. Snuggles, we're going to have SOOOOOO much fun!"
Corg and Khyron:

taalismn wrote:(Meanwhile)
"And which of these men stole your Flower, ma'am?"
The Regis is in an observation room with a GMP officer, looking at a line-up in the next room, where several purple-haired guys and others are on the stage...and the three Robotech Masters are on the end.
"Take your time, ma'am."

Arnie100 wrote:Regis: "It's kind of hard to tell...they kind of look all the same to me."
Detective: "What about those three older-looking ones on the end?"
Regis: "Maybe...it was kind of dark..."
Detective: "Guards, take the three old-looking guys and throw 'em in with Corg and Khyron!"
Guard #1: ( Shuddering) "But, Sir..."
Detective: "Just do it!"
Masters: "What are you doing!? We're INNOCENT!"
Guard #2: "Come on!"
Masters: "NNNOOO!!! WAIT! We were set up!"

(Detective's Office)

Detective: "Thanks for the tip, General Leonard!"
Leonard: "Just doing my civic duty, is all!"

taalismn wrote:"What were those three in for, anyways?"
"Drunk, disorderly, indecent exposure, public lewdness."

SRoss wrote:Meanwhile, a simple toilet in Ben's cell:

*GLORP!!!*

RETURN OF THE INAPPROPRIATELY AFFECTIONATE TENTACLE MONSTER...

Suddenly, a tentacle, followed by another, and another, come out. They start caressing Ben.

Ben: (Still sleeping) "Oh, baby, that's the stuff."

SRoss wrote:Guard #1: "Uhh, should we call the Sea Squad?"

Guard #2: "ARE YOU KIDDING! Don't you remember what they said they'd do to us after the last time?"

Arnie100 wrote:Guard #1: "Sarge, I think you REALLY need to see THIS one!"
Desk Sergeant: "(Sighs) Why? WHY me!?"
Guard #2: "Hey...we COULD make a video and put it on the 'net..."

taalismn wrote:"Hello? BioSanitation Battalion? GMP Lockup here. We got Whateley in the pipes again. Could you send a -"
*KLANK*"You called about tentacles in the plumbing?"
"-squad over?....Damn, you guys are fast."
"Best to deal with eldritch horrors while they're still small. Especially considering what ELSE people flush down the john. Ever seen what happens when a pollution-mutated sea robin devours somebody's stash of 'white lightning' LSD cut with Flower of Life pollen?"
"No-"
"Ask the Sea Squad about it and the spate of 'Ring of Fire' earthquakes around the Pacific around that time. Be sure to pick up their bar tab. Okay, boys, this is Whateley we're talking about, so make sure you have the proper lines from your pocket Necronomicrons bookmarked and ideally memorized, and the Spirit Vacs charged."
"You going to nuke our toilets again?"
"NO, we're thinking this time dropping hydrophones in and broadcasting 'Leonard Nimoy Sings the Blues' to drive him out. Then we're going to thangormize him."
"'Thangormize'? Some ritual from planet Thangor?"
"No, it's another name for beating the snot out of him with spiky blunt instruments."

Guard #1: "Jeez, listen to all that racket!"
Guard #2: "Oh, THAT was...NASTY!!"
Detective: "I didn't think you could do that..." (Holding a video camera)
Desk Sergeant: "I'm getting some coffee."

Suddenly Nova comes in dragging a charred Kyle and a dented Iigaa. She's struggling to hold them apart.

Lynn Kyle: (Swinging wildly) "IT'S ALL THAT BUG'S FAULT!!! ALL THOSE ACCIDENTAL INGESTIONS OF THE FLOWER OF LIFE! I'LL KILL YOU!!!"

Nova: (Cracking his skull) "SETTLE DOWN YOU!!!"

Nova: "Hey Sargent, I was checking out that black out and found this guy beating on the scout here."

Desk Sargent: "What's the Iigaa in for?"

Nova: (Dropping a brown paper bag full of DVDs and magazines on the desk) "Possession of Class 4 contraband."

Guard #1: "Woah! Masters of Henti, I didn't know they were still allowed to publish that!!!"

Guard #2: "I thought what's going on in Dixon's cell was nasty..."

Desk Sargent: "Say doesn't that look like..."

Meanwhile in the Single Female Officer's Quarters, Dana gets a chill.

*Knock*Knock*
"Yes?"
"Sorry to interrupt you, ma'am, but we understand there's a T.R. Edwards being held here?"
"Yes. What about it?!"
"THANK GOD! YOU'RE HERE TO SAVE ME!!!"
"Well, we're BioSanitation Battalion and we're unclogging the pipes in the building and well, we're short a toilet weasel. We're wondering if we could borrow him for a few minutes."
"ABSOLUTELY NOT! I WON'T STICK MY HEAD DOWN THE TOILET EVER AGAIN!""
"YOu heard the man; we wants to stay with -me-."
"ICHANGEDMYMIND!!! I'D -LOVE- TO UNCLOG DRAINS!!!"
"Take him. AS long as you return him."
"Not a problem. WE should be able to winkle out Wilbur Whateley in a few minutes. Come on, Edwards!"
"WILBUR WHATELEY?! I'M GOING HEADFIRST AFTER AN ELDRITCH ABOMINATION?!"
"I could always return you to Miss Minmei."
"I LIKE WILBUR WHATELEY!!! I'D -LOVE- TO SAY HI TO MY OLD FRIEND WILBUR!"

(Meanwhile)

Guard #1: "I hate when they wiggle. Do they have to wiggle like that!?"
Guard #2: "EEEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!! What it's doing to Dixon!"
Detective: "I think I'm gonna be si --" (Hands camera to Guard #1 and runs out the door)
Guard #1: "What the!?"
Guard #2: "Me too!"

(Corg and Khyron's Cell)

Corg, Khyron, Sammie and Annie:

Arnie100 wrote:Guard #1: "Jeez, listen to all that racket!"
Guard #2: "Oh, THAT was...NASTY!!"
Detective: "I didn't think you could do that..." (Holding a video camera)
Desk Sergeant: "I'm getting some coffee."

SRoss wrote:Suddenly Nova comes in dragging a charred Kyle and a dented Iigaa. She's struggling to hold them apart.

Lynn Kyle: (Swinging wildly) "IT'S ALL THAT BUG'S FAULT!!! ALL THOSE ACCIDENTAL INGESTIONS OF THE FLOWER OF LIFE! I'LL KILL YOU!!!"

Nova: (Cracking his skull) "SETTLE DOWN YOU!!!"

Nova: "Hey Sargent, I was checking out that black out and found this guy beating on the scout here."

Desk Sargent: "What's the Iigaa in for?"

Nova: (Dropping a brown paper bag full of DVDs and magazines on the desk) "Possession of Class 4 contraband."

Guard #1: "Woah! Masters of Henti, I didn't know they were still allowed to publish that!!!"

Guard #2: "I thought what's going on in Dixon's cell was nasty..."

Desk Sargent: "Say doesn't that look like..."

Meanwhile in the Single Female Officer's Quarters, Dana gets a chill.

taalismn wrote:*Knock*Knock*
"Yes?"
"Sorry to interrupt you, ma'am, but we understand there's a T.R. Edwards being held here?"
"Yes. What about it?!"
"THANK GOD! YOU'RE HERE TO SAVE ME!!!"
"Well, we're BioSanitation Battalion and we're unclogging the pipes in the building and well, we're short a toilet weasel. We're wondering if we could borrow him for a few minutes."
"ABSOLUTELY NOT! I WON'T STICK MY HEAD DOWN THE TOILET EVER AGAIN!""
"YOu heard the man; we wants to stay with -me-."
"ICHANGEDMYMIND!!! I'D -LOVE- TO UNCLOG DRAINS!!!"
"Take him. AS long as you return him."
"Not a problem. WE should be able to winkle out Wilbur Whateley in a few minutes. Come on, Edwards!"
"WILBUR WHATELEY?! I'M GOING HEADFIRST AFTER AN ELDRITCH ABOMINATION?!"
"I could always return you to Miss Minmei."
"I LIKE WILBUR WHATELEY!!! I'D -LOVE- TO SAY HI TO MY OLD FRIEND WILBUR!"

Arnie100 wrote:(Meanwhile)

Guard #1: "I hate when they wiggle. Do they have to wiggle like that!?"
Guard #2: "EEEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!! What it's doing to Dixon!"
Detective: "I think I'm gonna be si --" (Hands camera to Guard #1 and runs out the door)
Guard #1: "What the!?"
Guard #2: "Me too!"

(Corg and Khyron's Cell)

Corg, Khyron, Sammie and Annie:

Poor Ben.

Oh lord I just found this thread.. Best thing ever I'm laughing so hard.

(Dixon's Cell)

Dixon: "YYYYEEEEAAAAHHHH, baby! That's it" (Still asleep and tentacles doing -- uhhmmm, errr -- )
Masters: (Cowering in a corner) "Alright, ALRIGHT! WE CONFESS! WE took the Flowers! JUST GET US OUT!!!" (Due to over-crowding, they were placed in Dixon's cell)

(meanwhile, on a hillside just outside town, several people are lounging on the grass)
Scott: "You know, I miss the old days of the 'Bloopers'..."
Rand: (thunk) "Indeed? Why?" (thunk)
Scott: "I think we were funnier back then.."
(thunk)
Lunk: "That so?"
Scott: "Yes. Things were simpler, more straightforward, it was genuine gaffs and technicalities..."
Rand: (thunk) "Speak for yourself...(thunk)...If I never have to go through another fouled-up Cyclone transformation..."(thunk)
Scott: "Yeah, well, nowadays it seems all we do around here is long drawn-out contrived comedy sketches, whereas in the old days.."
(thunk)
Rook: "Missing the days when you weren't in danger of having your pelvis shattered during rough sex with Ariel?"
(thunk)
Scott: "Hey!"
(thunk)
Lunk: "I dunno, I seem to recall you and Ariel starting with the sex gags early on."
(thunk)
Rook: "Maybe not gags...Ariel's not into S&M..."
(thunk)
Lunk: "She IS an Invid Princess...someday, she may say 'Call Me QUEEN!"
(thunk)
Rook: "That's not a 'say', that's a royal COMMAND!"
(thunk)
Scott: "Oh yuck it up! But come on, doesn't it disturb you that Annie's now a raging deviant?"
(thunk)
Lunk: "Hey, she likes the extra attention and screen time she gets."
(thunk)
Rand: (thunk) "Not to mention the FEAR she generates...not bad for a waif voted by most fans a 'disposable pest'.(thunk)"
Scott: "That maye be so, but I still miss the genuine spontaneous comedy of the early(thunk)...Rand, are you really sure it's a good idea juggling that cobalt grenade?!"
Rand: (thunk)"Oh, don't worry! It's perfectly safe! It's got the safety pins and all still in (thunk)(clink-klatter)....oh shi-"

Scott: "Everyone, take COVER!!!!"
Rook: "If I get my hands on you --"
Lunk: "We're gonna, we're gonna die, we're gonna die..."
Rand: "Oh, look! A dummy grenade! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! You shoulda seen the look on your faces! Uhh, guys? It was a joke...y'know, to change the subject...uh-oh!" (Takes off running)
Scott: "Get the little creep!"

Arnie100 wrote:Scott: "Everyone, take COVER!!!!"
Rook: "If I get my hands on you --"
Lunk: "We're gonna, we're gonna die, we're gonna die..."
Rand: "Oh, look! A dummy grenade! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! You shoulda seen the look on your faces! Uhh, guys? It was a joke...y'know, to change the subject...uh-oh!" (Takes off running)
Scott: "Get the little creep!"

They're about a hundred yards away in hot pursuit of Rand when-
#BOOM#
(and a large swatch of landscape goes up in flames)
Rand: (sweatdrums) "...okay...it wasn't a dummy....stupid salesman...(sees Scott, Rook, and Lunk looking at him in shock and rage )...guess I shouldn't have stopped running, eh?"
(and the chase resumes)

(After a couple of hours of running)

Scott: "So, what should we do to the creep?" (Pointing to a gagged and hog-tied Rand) "I'm open to suggestions! Anyone?"
Rand: "MmmmmmmmmmmPPPPPPHHHH!!!"

Arnie100 wrote:(After a couple of hours of running)

Scott: "So, what should we do to the creep?" (Pointing to a gagged and hog-tied Rand) "I'm open to suggestions! Anyone?"
Rand: "MmmmmmmmmmmPPPPPPHHHH!!!"

Guard #1: "DIXON! You gotta new roommate."

Rand: (Still gagged and hog-tied) "MMMMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPHHHHH!!!!"

Guard 1: "So...what happened to tentacle-creep?"
Guard 2: "You know what Dixon was in for, right?"
Guard 1: "Drunk and Disorderly. Like always. Why?"
Guard 2:"Remember how he MELTED the breathalyzer? Couldn't figure out exactly WHAT he'd been drinking?"
Guard 1: "Yeah, so?"
Guard 2: "Dixon rolled over in his sleep and BREATHED on the tentacles."
Guard 1: "......that why the paint on that side of the room's discolored?"
Guard 2: " Wrinkled tentacle-boy like an earthworm in an oven. Popped back into his cell so fast he gave Edwards a concussion. BioSanitation's now got a hazmat ventilator removing the fumes so we can safely stick another overnighter in there with Dixon."

taalismn wrote:Guard 1: "So...what happened to tentacle-creep?"
Guard 2: "You know what Dixon was in for, right?"
Guard 1: "Drunk and Disorderly. Like always. Why?"
Guard 2:"Remember how he MELTED the breathalyzer? Couldn't figure out exactly WHAT he'd been drinking?"
Guard 1: "Yeah, so?"
Guard 2: "Dixon rolled over in his sleep and BREATHED on the tentacles."
Guard 1: "......that why the paint on that side of the room's discolored?"
Guard 2: " Wrinkled tentacle-boy like an earthworm in an oven. Popped back into his cell so fast he gave Edwards a concussion. BioSanitation's now got a hazmat ventilator removing the fumes so we can safely stick another overnighter in there with Dixon."

Guard #1: "So...what happened to the three Masters and that Rand kid?"

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:Guard 1: "So...what happened to tentacle-creep?"
Guard 2: "You know what Dixon was in for, right?"
Guard 1: "Drunk and Disorderly. Like always. Why?"
Guard 2:"Remember how he MELTED the breathalyzer? Couldn't figure out exactly WHAT he'd been drinking?"
Guard 1: "Yeah, so?"
Guard 2: "Dixon rolled over in his sleep and BREATHED on the tentacles."
Guard 1: "......that why the paint on that side of the room's discolored?"
Guard 2: " Wrinkled tentacle-boy like an earthworm in an oven. Popped back into his cell so fast he gave Edwards a concussion. BioSanitation's now got a hazmat ventilator removing the fumes so we can safely stick another overnighter in there with Dixon."

Guard #1: "So...what happened to the three Masters and that Rand kid?"

Guard #2: "See the three other discolored spots on the wall? Guess being rulers of a massive interstellar empire doesn't teach you duck."
Guard #2: "and Rand?"
Guard #1: "see the hole in the back wall of the next cell over? a word of advice. next time, don't let him have his phone call."

A Lawyer in an immaculate suit enters the cell bloc.

Edwards: "Oh thank God! I'm saved!!!"

Lawyer: "I'm here representing the Dole Foods Corporation. I'm here get my client out."

The guards immediately open the cell and lets the Iigaa out. As they are leaving, the Lawyer spots Wilbur Whateley.

Lawyer: "Excuse me sir, I'm here representing the Dole Foods Corporation. Have you ever considered a career in product modeling?"

Days later. Product Placement

(Infirmary, GMP HQ)

Rand: (In a full body cast) "I swear I'll never play another practical joke again!"
Masters: (Also in full body casts) "We'll be good, we promise! We'll do ANYTHING!!"

(We see Rook; holding an H-90, and the Regess with her arms raised and nasty-looking energy pulsing through her fingers)

Regess: "ANYthing?"

SRoss wrote:
Days later. Product Placement

Every time I see that....

WHAT were they thinking?

Arnie100 wrote:(Dixon's Cell)

Dixon: "YYYYEEEEAAAAHHHH, baby! That's it" (Still asleep and tentacles doing -- uhhmmm, errr -- )
Masters: (Cowering in a corner) "Alright, ALRIGHT! WE CONFESS! WE took the Flowers! JUST GET US OUT!!!" (Due to over-crowding, they were placed in Dixon's cell)

taalismn wrote:(meanwhile, on a hillside just outside town, several people are lounging on the grass)
Scott: "You know, I miss the old days of the 'Bloopers'..."
Rand: (thunk) "Indeed? Why?" (thunk)
Scott: "I think we were funnier back then.."
(thunk)
Lunk: "That so?"
Scott: "Yes. Things were simpler, more straightforward, it was genuine gaffs and technicalities..."
Rand: (thunk) "Speak for yourself...(thunk)...If I never have to go through another fouled-up Cyclone transformation..."(thunk)
Scott: "Yeah, well, nowadays it seems all we do around here is long drawn-out contrived comedy sketches, whereas in the old days.."
(thunk)
Rook: "Missing the days when you weren't in danger of having your pelvis shattered during rough sex with Ariel?"
(thunk)
Scott: "Hey!"
(thunk)
Lunk: "I dunno, I seem to recall you and Ariel starting with the sex gags early on."
(thunk)
Rook: "Maybe not gags...Ariel's not into S&M..."
(thunk)
Lunk: "She IS an Invid Princess...someday, she may say 'Call Me QUEEN!"
(thunk)
Rook: "That's not a 'say', that's a royal COMMAND!"
(thunk)
Scott: "Oh yuck it up! But come on, doesn't it disturb you that Annie's now a raging deviant?"
(thunk)
Lunk: "Hey, she likes the extra attention and screen time she gets."
(thunk)
Rand: (thunk) "Not to mention the FEAR she generates...not bad for a waif voted by most fans a 'disposable pest'.(thunk)"
Scott: "That maye be so, but I still miss the genuine spontaneous comedy of the early(thunk)...Rand, are you really sure it's a good idea juggling that cobalt grenade?!"
Rand: (thunk)"Oh, don't worry! It's perfectly safe! It's got the safety pins and all still in (thunk)(clink-klatter)....oh shi-"

Arnie100 wrote:Scott: "Everyone, take COVER!!!!"
Rook: "If I get my hands on you --"
Lunk: "We're gonna, we're gonna die, we're gonna die..."
Rand: "Oh, look! A dummy grenade! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! You shoulda seen the look on your faces! Uhh, guys? It was a joke...y'know, to change the subject...uh-oh!" (Takes off running)
Scott: "Get the little creep!"

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:Scott: "Everyone, take COVER!!!!"
Rook: "If I get my hands on you --"
Lunk: "We're gonna, we're gonna die, we're gonna die..."
Rand: "Oh, look! A dummy grenade! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! You shoulda seen the look on your faces! Uhh, guys? It was a joke...y'know, to change the subject...uh-oh!" (Takes off running)
Scott: "Get the little creep!"

They're about a hundred yards away in hot pursuit of Rand when-
#BOOM#
(and a large swatch of landscape goes up in flames)
Rand: (sweatdrums) "...okay...it wasn't a dummy....stupid salesman...(sees Scott, Rook, and Lunk looking at him in shock and rage )...guess I shouldn't have stopped running, eh?"
(and the chase resumes)

Arnie100 wrote:(After a couple of hours of running)

Scott: "So, what should we do to the creep?" (Pointing to a gagged and hog-tied Rand) "I'm open to suggestions! Anyone?"
Rand: "MmmmmmmmmmmPPPPPPHHHH!!!"

SRoss wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:(After a couple of hours of running)

Scott: "So, what should we do to the creep?" (Pointing to a gagged and hog-tied Rand) "I'm open to suggestions! Anyone?"
Rand: "MmmmmmmmmmmPPPPPPHHHH!!!"

Guard #1: "DIXON! You gotta new roommate."

Arnie100 wrote::shock: Rand: (Still gagged and hog-tied) "MMMMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPHHHHH!!!!"

taalismn wrote:Guard 1: "So...what happened to tentacle-creep?"
Guard 2: "You know what Dixon was in for, right?"
Guard 1: "Drunk and Disorderly. Like always. Why?"
Guard 2:"Remember how he MELTED the breathalyzer? Couldn't figure out exactly WHAT he'd been drinking?"
Guard 1: "Yeah, so?"
Guard 2: "Dixon rolled over in his sleep and BREATHED on the tentacles."
Guard 1: "......that why the paint on that side of the room's discolored?"
Guard 2: " Wrinkled tentacle-boy like an earthworm in an oven. Popped back into his cell so fast he gave Edwards a concussion. BioSanitation's now got a hazmat ventilator removing the fumes so we can safely stick another overnighter in there with Dixon."

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:Guard 1: "So...what happened to tentacle-creep?"
Guard 2: "You know what Dixon was in for, right?"
Guard 1: "Drunk and Disorderly. Like always. Why?"
Guard 2:"Remember how he MELTED the breathalyzer? Couldn't figure out exactly WHAT he'd been drinking?"
Guard 1: "Yeah, so?"
Guard 2: "Dixon rolled over in his sleep and BREATHED on the tentacles."
Guard 1: "......that why the paint on that side of the room's discolored?"
Guard 2: " Wrinkled tentacle-boy like an earthworm in an oven. Popped back into his cell so fast he gave Edwards a concussion. BioSanitation's now got a hazmat ventilator removing the fumes so we can safely stick another overnighter in there with Dixon."

Guard #1: "So...what happened to the three Masters and that Rand kid?"

glitterboy2098 wrote:

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:Guard 1: "So...what happened to tentacle-creep?"
Guard 2: "You know what Dixon was in for, right?"
Guard 1: "Drunk and Disorderly. Like always. Why?"
Guard 2:"Remember how he MELTED the breathalyzer? Couldn't figure out exactly WHAT he'd been drinking?"
Guard 1: "Yeah, so?"
Guard 2: "Dixon rolled over in his sleep and BREATHED on the tentacles."
Guard 1: "......that why the paint on that side of the room's discolored?"
Guard 2: " Wrinkled tentacle-boy like an earthworm in an oven. Popped back into his cell so fast he gave Edwards a concussion. BioSanitation's now got a hazmat ventilator removing the fumes so we can safely stick another overnighter in there with Dixon."

Guard #1: "So...what happened to the three Masters and that Rand kid?"

Guard #2: "See the three other discolored spots on the wall? Guess being rulers of a massive interstellar empire doesn't teach you duck."
Guard #2: "and Rand?"
Guard #1: "see the hole in the back wall of the next cell over? a word of advice. next time, don't let him have his phone call."

SRoss wrote:A Lawyer in an immaculate suit enters the cell bloc.

Edwards: "Oh thank God! I'm saved!!!"

Lawyer: "I'm here representing the Dole Foods Corporation. I'm here get my client out."

The guards immediately open the cell and lets the Iigaa out. As they are leaving, the Lawyer spots Wilbur Whateley.

Lawyer: "Excuse me sir, I'm here representing the Dole Foods Corporation. Have you ever considered a career in product modeling?"

Days later. Product Placement

Arnie100 wrote:(Infirmary, GMP HQ)

Rand: (In a full body cast) "I swear I'll never play another practical joke again!"
Masters: (Also in full body casts) "We'll be good, we promise! We'll do ANYTHING!!"

(We see Rook; holding an H-90, and the Regess with her arms raised and nasty-looking energy pulsing through her fingers)

Regess: "ANYthing?"

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:
Days later. Product Placement

Every time I see that....

WHAT were they thinking?

They weren't.

Alpha 11 wrote:

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:
Days later. Product Placement

Every time I see that....

WHAT were they thinking?

They weren't.

Could be worse. If they were to try and market it in Canada, you'd need a bilingual label. Do you know what the French word for Grape is?

Guard #1: (Drinking a bottle of Tentacle Grape[sup]TM[/sup]) "Hey, on the label, isn't that?"

Guard #2: "NNNNOOOO!!! Don't say...."

Guard #1: "Dana Stirling?"

Pan out to wide view of the Prison Block, GMP HQ.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

*BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOMMMMM*

In the wreckage.

Haydonite: <<Ffffzzztttt...help...me...POP...please...ffzzztttt...I've fallen...POP...and...SPARK...I...>>

SRoss wrote:Could be worse. If they were to try and market it in Canada, you'd need a bilingual label. Do you know what the French word for Grape is?

raisin.

the product would translate as Raisins tentacule

which of course doesn't preserve the pun..

It's weird cause I've seen Grape translated as Rape on some cans.

SRoss wrote:Guard #1: (Drinking a bottle of Tentacle Grape[sup]TM[/sup]) "Hey, on the label, isn't that?"

Guard #2: "NNNNOOOO!!! Don't say...."

Guard #1: "Dana Stirling?"

Pan out to wide view of the Prison Block, GMP HQ.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

*BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOMMMMM*

Nova: "Dana? Can't you just hire a lawyer and SUE like everybody else?"
Dana: "My way is faster and MUCH more emotionally satisfying."

Dana: "Besides, lawyers are EXPENSIVE. This is much more cheap and a great way to relieve stress!"
Nova: "You have a point about the stress. So, who's next on your list?"
Dana: "Let's see...first, there's Dante for ditching me to see some crappy movie...."

(Movie theater, Monument City)

Dante: (Suddenly gets shivers up and down spine) "Oh, no...DANA!!"

SRoss wrote:

Alpha 11 wrote:

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:
Days later. Product Placement

Every time I see that....

WHAT were they thinking?

They weren't.

Could be worse. If they were to try and market it in Canada, you'd need a bilingual label. Do you know what the French word for Grape is?

SRoss wrote:Guard #1: (Drinking a bottle of Tentacle Grape[sup]TM[/sup]) "Hey, on the label, isn't that?"

Guard #2: "NNNNOOOO!!! Don't say...."

Guard #1: "Dana Stirling?"

Pan out to wide view of the Prison Block, GMP HQ.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

*BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOMMMMM*

In the wreckage.

Haydonite: <<Ffffzzztttt...help...me...POP...please...ffzzztttt...I've fallen...POP...and...SPARK...I...>>

glitterboy2098 wrote:

SRoss wrote:Could be worse. If they were to try and market it in Canada, you'd need a bilingual label. Do you know what the French word for Grape is?

raisin.

the product would translate as Raisins tentacule

which of course doesn't preserve the pun..

SRoss wrote:It's weird cause I've seen Grape translated as Rape on some cans.

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:Guard #1: (Drinking a bottle of Tentacle Grape[sup]TM[/sup]) "Hey, on the label, isn't that?"

Guard #2: "NNNNOOOO!!! Don't say...."

Guard #1: "Dana Stirling?"

Pan out to wide view of the Prison Block, GMP HQ.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

*BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOMMMMM*

Nova: "Dana? Can't you just hire a lawyer and SUE like everybody else?"
Dana: "My way is faster and MUCH more emotionally satisfying."

Arnie100 wrote:Dana: "Besides, lawyers are EXPENSIVE. This is much more cheap and a great way to relieve stress!"
Nova: "You have a point about the stress. So, who's next on your list?"
Dana: "Let's see...first, there's Dante for ditching me to see some crappy movie...."

(Movie theater, Monument City)

Dante: (Suddenly gets shivers up and down spine) "Oh, no...DANA!!"

"Guys, when you're finished rebuilding the bar, could you redo the GMP station too?"
"Again? Sure. What was it this time? Dixon try to flush his hooch stash down the toilet again and it ignited in the pipes? Moon cats try to tunnel out and hit a gas main? Rabid Pollinator chew through a support beam?"
"No. Irate Sterling. Hovertank main gun."
"Eww....particle beam damage. That's going to require completely replacing the rebar..."

Sub-orbital Haydonite drop actually. Remember the poor fellow in the bar?

SRoss wrote:Sub-orbital Haydonite drop actually. Remember the poor fellow in the bar?

Haydonite Awareness: "I really wish you idiots wouldn't upload yourselves to me AFTER you get a hangover or get crunched? That way we ALL feel your stupidity and misfortune."

taalismn wrote:"Guys, when you're finished rebuilding the bar, could you redo the GMP station too?"
"Again? Sure. What was it this time? Dixon try to flush his hooch stash down the toilet again and it ignited in the pipes? Moon cats try to tunnel out and hit a gas main? Rabid Pollinator chew through a support beam?"
"No. Irate Sterling. Hovertank main gun."
"Eww....particle beam damage. That's going to require completely replacing the rebar..."

SRoss wrote:Sub-orbital Haydonite drop actually. Remember the poor fellow in the bar?

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:Sub-orbital Haydonite drop actually. Remember the poor fellow in the bar?

Haydonite Awareness: "I really wish you idiots wouldn't upload yourselves to me AFTER you get a hangover or get crunched? That way we ALL feel your stupidity and misfortune."

Haydonite: "Share my (fssskk!) pain, you big-brained(*SPARK!) fatso! And this hard-earned gem of (brittzle-fritz!) wisdom! DON'T TAKE THE INVID'S PARKING SPACE!"

taalismn wrote:Haydonite: "Share my (fssskk!) pain, you big-brained(*SPARK!) fatso! And this hard-earned gem of (brittzle-fritz!) wisdom! DON'T TAKE THE INVID'S PARKING SPACE!"

GMP Dispatch Station
Commtech: "Captain, we're getting an emergency call from the Monument Palladium Movie Theater. Urgent call for extraction."
Captain: "Why, is there a situation? Who's calling?"
Commtech: "Claims to be an ATAC tanker, and he's calling from hiding in one of the theater restroom stalls. He sez there isn't a situation YET, but it's going to happen, and when it does, it's going to go down BIG."
Captain: "That sounds ominous. Does he mean an attack on the theater?"
Commtech: "No, but he doubts he's going to get out of the parking lot alive. Wants a police escort back to his barracks, or a holding cell for the night. Someplace safe."
Captain:(growling) "For making a false report, I can almost be certain of the latter! What's this guy so freakin' afraid of?!"
Commtech: "Let me check...(mutter,mutter)....how about a Hovertank hunting his ass?"

And what movie was he watching?

OPTERA: The Musical

Testimonial...

Lancer: (Oddly speaking and gesturing like the Regis) "I liked it, I laughed, I cried, much better then Cats! I'm going to see it again and again...."

Sera: (Exasperated) "MMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!"

SRoss wrote:And what movie was he watching?

OPTERA: The Musical

Testimonial...

Lancer: (Oddly speaking and gesturing like the Regis) "I liked it, I laughed, I cried, much better then Cats! I'm going to see it again and again...."

Sera: (Exasperated) "MMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!"

Rand: "Yeah. it has crossdressing, which explains Lancer's adoration of this film. It also has burlesque, which is why Sera's screaming her head off. Now pardon me while I wash my eyes with this bucket of bleach..."

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:And what movie was he watching?

OPTERA: The Musical

Testimonial...

Lancer: (Oddly speaking and gesturing like the Regis) "I liked it, I laughed, I cried, much better then Cats! I'm going to see it again and again...."

Sera: (Exasperated) "MMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!"

Rand: "Yeah. it has crossdressing, which explains Lancer's adoration of this film. It also has burlesque, which is why Sera's screaming her head off. Now pardon me while I wash my eyes with this bucket of bleach..."

Scott: "Where is that bucket of Zentreadi Mind Wash?"

Lunk: "This is what the Trinidad Moruga Scorpion Chili Pepper Facial Rinse is made for..."

taalismn wrote:GMP Dispatch Station
Commtech: "Captain, we're getting an emergency call from the Monument Palladium Movie Theater. Urgent call for extraction."
Captain: "Why, is there a situation? Who's calling?"
Commtech: "Claims to be an ATAC tanker, and he's calling from hiding in one of the theater restroom stalls. He sez there isn't a situation YET, but it's going to happen, and when it does, it's going to go down BIG."
Captain: "That sounds ominous. Does he mean an attack on the theater?"
Commtech: "No, but he doubts he's going to get out of the parking lot alive. Wants a police escort back to his barracks, or a holding cell for the night. Someplace safe."
Captain:(growling) "For making a false report, I can almost be certain of the latter! What's this guy so freakin' afraid of?!"
Commtech: "Let me check...(mutter,mutter)....how about a Hovertank hunting his ass?"

SRoss wrote:And what movie was he watching?

OPTERA: The Musical

Testimonial...

Lancer: (Oddly speaking and gesturing like the Regis) "I liked it, I laughed, I cried, much better then Cats! I'm going to see it again and again...."

Sera: (Exasperated) "MMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!"

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:And what movie was he watching?

OPTERA: The Musical

Testimonial...

Lancer: (Oddly speaking and gesturing like the Regis) "I liked it, I laughed, I cried, much better then Cats! I'm going to see it again and again...."

Sera: (Exasperated) "MMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!"

Rand: "Yeah. it has crossdressing, which explains Lancer's adoration of this film. It also has burlesque, which is why Sera's screaming her head off. Now pardon me while I wash my eyes with this bucket of bleach..."

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:And what movie was he watching?

OPTERA: The Musical

Testimonial...

Lancer: (Oddly speaking and gesturing like the Regis) "I liked it, I laughed, I cried, much better then Cats! I'm going to see it again and again...."

Sera: (Exasperated) "MMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!"

Rand: "Yeah. it has crossdressing, which explains Lancer's adoration of this film. It also has burlesque, which is why Sera's screaming her head off. Now pardon me while I wash my eyes with this bucket of bleach..."

Scott: "Where is that bucket of Zentreadi Mind Wash?"

taalismn wrote:Lunk: "This is what the Trinidad Moruga Scorpion Chili Pepper Facial Rinse is made for..."

*RingRing*
"Hello, Doctor Nichols here...Oh, hi, Angie! What's up? You're where? You want what? WHO's after you? ....What makes you think that? Oh...between THOSE vertebrae? Okay, you're sure? Yeah, I concur...you're screwed. No, I'm not. Angie, I'm NOT going to give you an armored escort to Switzerland. No! Well, for one thing, Dana's a MUCH better tank driver than I am! If you're so worried, why don't you call the police? You did already...and? They laughed at you and hung up. Okay, well, I can't do it, why don't you call Bowie or Sean? Right, Bowie's in the Bahamas..Well, it IS his honeymoon..Sean? Okay, Witness Protection. Don't ask me how he managed to swing THAT! Well, Angelo, looks like you're going to have to tough this one out on your own, unless you want to call, oh, I dunno, Zor? Okay, I apologize, that was uncalled for. Look, Angelo, it's likely not as bad as you're making it out to be. I mean, what's the worst she can do to you? Okay, so killing you's pretty damn final....I just can't help you! Tell you what,if she DOES kill you, I'll say something regretful at the service...well, gee, thanks, Angie! That's big of you! Have a good night!"
(click)

Dana: "So, who was that, Louie? (Pointing a locked and load pistol at Louie's head) I've been looking for Dante ever since he ditched me."
Louie: "Uhh, that - that was no one, Dana! Really! I wouldn't lie to anyone with a gun to my head!"
Dana: "I swear when I find Dante -- " (Storms out of Louie's quarters)

*RingRing*

Louie: (Faking answering machine message) "I'm sorry, but I'm not available at the mom -- "
Dante: "Dammit, Louie, you gotta help me! She's nuts! She blew up my hovertank! SHE'S STALKING ME!!"

taalismn wrote:*RingRing*
"Hello, Doctor Nichols here...Oh, hi, Angie! What's up? You're where? You want what? WHO's after you? ....What makes you think that? Oh...between THOSE vertebrae? Okay, you're sure? Yeah, I concur...you're screwed. No, I'm not. Angie, I'm NOT going to give you an armored escort to Switzerland. No! Well, for one thing, Dana's a MUCH better tank driver than I am! If you're so worried, why don't you call the police? You did already...and? They laughed at you and hung up. Okay, well, I can't do it, why don't you call Bowie or Sean? Right, Bowie's in the Bahamas..Well, it IS his honeymoon..Sean? Okay, Witness Protection. Don't ask me how he managed to swing THAT! Well, Angelo, looks like you're going to have to tough this one out on your own, unless you want to call, oh, I dunno, Zor? Okay, I apologize, that was uncalled for. Look, Angelo, it's likely not as bad as you're making it out to be. I mean, what's the worst she can do to you? Okay, so killing you's pretty damn final....I just can't help you! Tell you what,if she DOES kill you, I'll say something regretful at the service...well, gee, thanks, Angie! That's big of you! Have a good night!"
(click)

Arnie100 wrote:Dana: "So, who was that, Louie? (Pointing a locked and load pistol at Louie's head) I've been looking for Dante ever since he ditched me."
Louie: "Uhh, that - that was no one, Dana! Really! I wouldn't lie to anyone with a gun to my head!"
Dana: "I swear when I find Dante -- " (Storms out of Louie's quarters)

*RingRing*

Louie: (Faking answering machine message) "I'm sorry, but I'm not available at the mom -- "
Dante: "Dammit, Louie, you gotta help me! She's nuts! She blew up my hovertank! SHE'S STALKING ME!!"

"-and if this is you again, Angelo, my answer is still no. Also be aware that the longer you remain on the line pleading for your life is extra time the el-tee, who is no idiot when it comes to technical matters, can use to back-trace your call. Have a good evening."
(click!)
"Damn...she got to him."

(Bar, Monument City)

Dante: "Grel, you gotta help me! SHE'S STALKING ME!!!!"
Grel: "Who's stalking you!?"
Dante: "Sterling."
Grel: "DANA Sterling??"
Dante: "Who else is there!?"
Grel: "Okay, okay...I got ya. Go hide upstairs!" (Watches Dante run upstairs, then quickly picks up the phone) "Yeah, Lt. Sterling? I got him! He's upstairs in the guest room! Oh, no, no...no need to thank me, this one's on me!"
Kyle: "What was that all about?"
Grel: "Just wait, watch and have some fun."

(Bar, Monument City, Upper Level Guest Room)

Gero: "Sure micronian, you can come in, I'm just unpacking my collection of commemorative Minmei plates."

#WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEE!!!!#

*BOOM!!!!*

Haydonite: "Its...fitzz...not...SPARK...fair!...fitzz...I was minding my...SPARK...own business...ZAP...when this m...m...MADWOMAN STUFFED ME DOWN THE BARREL OF A CANNON!!!"

Ben Dixson: (to bartender) "Insurance payed up?"

"TAXI!!!!"
"Where to, buddy?"
"Airport and step on it! I gotta catch an international flight soon as possible! There's double...no, TRIPLE, fare if you can get me there soonest!"
"No problem, as long as you don't mind sharing the ride."
"No problem as long as they're going my way."
"Yeah, they are. Enjoy the ride."
"Whew! At least THIS has gone smoothly so far. Hello, I guess we're sharing a cab..."
*CLICK*
"Hello, Angelo. I've been looking all over for you."
"...oh god, Dana...put the gun down, pretty please..."

taalismn wrote:"-and if this is you again, Angelo, my answer is still no. Also be aware that the longer you remain on the line pleading for your life is extra time the el-tee, who is no idiot when it comes to technical matters, can use to back-trace your call. Have a good evening."
(click!)
"Damn...she got to him."

Arnie100 wrote:(Bar, Monument City)

Dante: "Grel, you gotta help me! SHE'S STALKING ME!!!!"
Grel: "Who's stalking you!?"
Dante: "Sterling."
Grel: "DANA Sterling??"
Dante: "Who else is there!?"
Grel: "Okay, okay...I got ya. Go hide upstairs!" (Watches Dante run upstairs, then quickly picks up the phone) "Yeah, Lt. Sterling? I got him! He's upstairs in the guest room! Oh, no, no...no need to thank me, this one's on me!"
Kyle: "What was that all about?"
Grel: "Just wait, watch and have some fun."

SRoss wrote:(Bar, Monument City, Upper Level Guest Room)

Gero: "Sure micronian, you can come in, I'm just unpacking my collection of commemorative Minmei plates."

#WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEE!!!!#

*BOOM!!!!*

Haydonite: "Its...fitzz...not...SPARK...fair!...fitzz...I was minding my...SPARK...own business...ZAP...when this m...m...MADWOMAN STUFFED ME DOWN THE BARREL OF A CANNON!!!"

Ben Dixson: (to bartender) "Insurance payed up?"

taalismn wrote:"TAXI!!!!"
"Where to, buddy?"
"Airport and step on it! I gotta catch an international flight soon as possible! There's double...no, TRIPLE, fare if you can get me there soonest!"
"No problem, as long as you don't mind sharing the ride."
"No problem as long as they're going my way."
"Yeah, they are. Enjoy the ride."
"Whew! At least THIS has gone smoothly so far. Hello, I guess we're sharing a cab..."
*CLICK*
"Hello, Angelo. I've been looking all over for you."
"...oh god, Dana...put the gun down, pretty please..."

"Bye-bye, Angelo!"(vrooommm)
"Great, left out in the middle of nowhere, stark naked, miles from civilization. Yeah, Dana's in a %*&&&&&& bad mood."
"Not the words I'd use, but accurate none the less."
"WH-. ZOR?! What....okay, I see...boy do I ever see...What did YOU do to diss her? And why now?"
"I imagine because of my percieved indiscretions with Nova Satori. And I imagine the now because something else snapped her resolve and she's settling old scores by the basketload."
"Great. So...I guess we try to flag down a ride back to Monument."
"I am...reluctant now to try that."
"Why? You want to WALK all the way back?"
"No, because who's going to stop to pick up two naked men on a road in the middle of nowhere?"
"...right....you know, it's not a bad night for a late night run. Cool, even brisk!"
"It's supposed to drop below freezing tonight. Frost predicted."
"Right! Wilderness survival training practice! Zor, start looking for some bushes...something with suitably large leaves."