Forums of the Megaverse®

- UPS Delivers packages to your address by orbital drop only.

- Granny used rat poison to deal with the squirrel problem, you use a Defender destroid.

taalismn wrote:Ten Signs You're Living Near a Genesis Pit:

-A mosquito just ate your bug zapper

-The water from the facets glows green

-You have to get your kids new wardrobes every month tailored for the extra appendages

-The neighbors keep coming over for a spare cup of Protoculture

-Your grass just went carnivorous

-Your spouse just ate the kids

-You keep a copy of 'Sibly's New Guide to Dinosaurs' near the living room windows

-You're the only modern hominid on your street

-Your basement looks like Jurassic Park

-You use a truck scale to weigh your pet chihuahua

SRoss wrote:-You think Primeval is a comedy.

taalismn wrote:-You stock your birdfeeder with cattle carcasses.

-Your idea of a can of 'Raid' is a napalm-fed flamethrower.

-You get a 'claw mark' discount for repainting your Alpha Fighter, Cyclone, or destroid

-You fall through a pothole on your street into a different evolutionary era.

-You can't remember in the morning where you picked up that third eye in your forehead.

SRoss wrote:- The voices in your head are really there this time.

- Like Steven Hart, or that guy in Jurassic Park, you can ID your dino types by teasting their poo.

- Badgers? We don't need no stinking badgers!!! (We've already got their important parts incorperated into our bodies.)

taalismn wrote:-After your tenth mailman went MIA, the post office asks you to come down to the main office to pick up your mail from now on.

-The local cockroaches send you a nicely worded letter of protest about your tastes in beer, but you're still not getting your refrigerator back...

Arnie100 wrote:- Your kids are telling their teacher "A dinosaur ate our homework! No, really!"

- You need a dump truck to feed your new hybrid chihuaha (who knows what the other part is and you don't wanna know).

- Your neighbors swear they say a velociraptor in their backyard.

- Your child is riding her "new best friend" who just happens to terrify all the other children.

-Your child brings a dinosaur to school for show and tell. Next day class is cancelled due to missing school staff.

taalismn wrote:-Some people have tans. You bioluminesce.

-When you describe your daughter's new boyfriend as a evolutionary throwback, it's not an insult, it's a fact.

-Your local animal control officer is waiting for a Liberation Fleet to arrive before tackling your hornet problem.

SRoss wrote:- UPS Delivers packages to your address by orbital drop only.

- Granny used rat poison to deal with the squirrel problem, you use a Defender destroid.

These were all very good!

- UPS won't go anywhere NEAR your planet and begs YOU to pick up the package.

- You have no idea why there is a rain forest in what used to be your living room.

- There is a Plesiosaur swimming in your pool.

-Your spouse just went on the 'all Flower' diet.

-Even your mother-in-law refuses to visit, insisting instead that you come to HER.

-You can't rototill your yard without hitting at least one Gurab

-Your kids go fishing for trilobites in the nearby creek.

Arnie100 wrote:- UPS won't go anywhere NEAR your planet and begs YOU to pick up the package.

- You have no idea why there is a rain forest in what used to be your living room.

- There is a Plesiosaur swimming in your pool.

taalismn wrote:-Your spouse just went on the 'all Flower' diet.

-Even your mother-in-law refuses to visit, insisting instead that you come to HER.

-You can't rototill your yard without hitting at least one Gurab

-Your kids go fishing for trilobites in the nearby creek.

- Tourists visit your neighborhood thinking "Look! It's Jurassic Park!"

- Your child wants a T-Rex for her birthday!

- You see a 14-year old girl chasing a cat that can talk (screaming in fear at this point).

- You use a Pteranodon to get to work.

- You have to take your garbage disposal to the vet...the vet runs away in horror.

- Japanese people see you and scream in terror (out of sequence with their mouth movements).

_ Annie won't even pick up strays in YOUR neabourhood.

-You fumigate your house for giant squid

-You don't put out signs reading 'BEWARE OF DOG', just 'BEWARE'.

-Your riding mower features full compartment armor, life support, and heavy weaponry

-You get 'possession calls' from somebody calling herself the 'Regis'. You wonder angrily why she can't call using the phone like everybody else.

-Your kids play in the yard in full CVR armor

Arnie100 wrote:- Tourists visit your neighborhood thinking "Look! It's Jurassic Park!"

- Your child wants a T-Rex for her birthday!

- You see a 14-year old girl chasing a cat that can talk (screaming in fear at this point).

- You use a Pteranodon to get to work.

- You have to take your garbage disposal to the vet...the vet runs away in horror.

Number three, Annie, right?

SRoss wrote:- Japanese people see you and scream in terror (out of sequence with their mouth movements).

_ Annie won't even pick up strays in YOUR neabourhood.

And wow, that's bad.

taalismn wrote:-You fumigate your house for giant squid

-You don't put out signs reading 'BEWARE OF DOG', just 'BEWARE'.

-Your riding mower features full compartment armor, life support, and heavy weaponry

-You get 'possession calls' from somebody calling herself the 'Regis'. You wonder angrily why she can't call using the phone like everybody else.

-Your kids play in the yard in full CVR armor

These are all very enjoyable.

-Every girl friend you son bring home have to "pass" a strength test.

- Your dinner just tried to eat YOU.

- You have to use vibro-blades just to prepare your dinner.

- You're not joking when you tell your kids to stop playing with their food.

- Your meal is larger then you are.

Things the E.B.S.I.S. does better then the Army of the Southern Cross.

- Competitive Tank Singing.

Angelo: "The 15[sup]th[/sup] tried, but Dana's singing was deemed a crime against humanity."

SRoss wrote:Things the E.B.S.I.S. does better then the Army of the Southern Cross.

- Competitive Tank Singing.

Angelo: "The 15[sup]th[/sup] tried, but Dana's singing was deemed a crime against humanity."

They might have won if they'd just stuck with Bowie, Angelo, Sean, and Louie doing their barbershop quartet number...

on the otherhand the judges were very impressed with Pvt. Doppler, despite some irregularity in her entry paperwork..

The massive alien ship loomed overhead, a dark cloud in Earth's sky, casting a shadow over the land and its insignificant defenders below....
"It's the Robotech Masters, come to finish what the Zentraedi started!"
(static)-Vrrrtttttttttt!!!!!!-
Three ominously-clad humanoids appeared on video screens all over the Earth, interrupting normal broadcasting.
"ATTENTION MICRONIANS! WE ARE THE LATEX MASTERS! WE HAVE COME TO TAKE YOUR RUBBER AND MAKE YOU SUBMIT! FAILURE TO COOPERATE WITH OUR DEMANDS AND WE MAKE YOU OUR $!+&#! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!"
-zeerp-
"Did we just get threatened by three old guys in gimp suits?"
"Oh, this has GOTTA be a joke."
"If it isn't, what are you willing to bet the el-tee gets abducted and brainwashed into becoming a dominatrix?"
"HEY!!"
"Not taking that bet. She's already halfway there."
"BOWIE!!!"
"It's more like who beats who to making the other her pet....Dana or Nova?"
(Not far away, a certain Commander Komodo got a strange feeling along his backside)
"THE RIDING CROP WAS FOR HORSE-RIDING LESSONS!"
"Surrrrrrreeeeee.....and the catsuit?"
"IT WAS FOR SCUBA LESSONS!!!!"
"Water polo?"
"Only if you can keep the horse from drowning..."
Then the giant gimp-suited mecha started dropping from the alien ship and it all went to hell.....

Angelo: "Someone just shoot me now..."
Dana: "Okay...(slaps an e-clip into her laser pistol)
Angelo: "You're still not mad about the tentacle movie thing, are you?"
Dana: "I'm so over that...this is for the dominatrix bit..."
Angelo: "You heard that? I didn't say that...That was Bowie's (look frantically around for Bowie, but he disappeared) -- aw, damn... "

Arnie100 wrote:- Your dinner just tried to eat YOU.

- You have to use vibro-blades just to prepare your dinner.

- You're not joking when you tell your kids to stop playing with their food.

- Your meal is larger then you are.

SRoss wrote:Things the E.B.S.I.S. does better then the Army of the Southern Cross.

- Competitive Tank Singing.

Angelo: "The 15[sup]th[/sup] tried, but Dana's singing was deemed a crime against humanity."

When you said that, that was the first thing that came to my mind! And low and behold, the link was to it! Love the show! Though I have to drop it from 5 to 4 stars IMO, for the to flash back episodes! Two of them! They skipped an entire battle which WAS covered in the manga, so they didn't need one of these episodes! Sorry, I'll be getting off my soap box now.

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:Things the E.B.S.I.S. does better then the Army of the Southern Cross.

- Competitive Tank Singing.

Angelo: "The 15[sup]th[/sup] tried, but Dana's singing was deemed a crime against humanity."

They might have won if they'd just stuck with Bowie, Angelo, Sean, and Louie doing their barbershop quartet number...

glitterboy2098 wrote:on the otherhand the judges were very impressed with Pvt. Doppler, despite some irregularity in her entry paperwork..

taalismn wrote:The massive alien ship loomed overhead, a dark cloud in Earth's sky, casting a shadow over the land and its insignificant defenders below....
"It's the Robotech Masters, come to finish what the Zentraedi started!"
(static)-Vrrrtttttttttt!!!!!!-
Three ominously-clad humanoids appeared on video screens all over the Earth, interrupting normal broadcasting.
"ATTENTION MICRONIANS! WE ARE THE LATEX MASTERS! WE HAVE COME TO TAKE YOUR RUBBER AND MAKE YOU SUBMIT! FAILURE TO COOPERATE WITH OUR DEMANDS AND WE MAKE YOU OUR $!+&#! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!"
-zeerp-
"Did we just get threatened by three old guys in gimp suits?"
"Oh, this has GOTTA be a joke."
"If it isn't, what are you willing to bet the el-tee gets abducted and brainwashed into becoming a dominatrix?"
"HEY!!"
"Not taking that bet. She's already halfway there."
"BOWIE!!!"
"It's more like who beats who to making the other her pet....Dana or Nova?"
(Not far away, a certain Commander Komodo got a strange feeling along his backside)
"THE RIDING CROP WAS FOR HORSE-RIDING LESSONS!"
"Surrrrrrreeeeee.....and the catsuit?"
"IT WAS FOR SCUBA LESSONS!!!!"
"Water polo?"
"Only if you can keep the horse from drowning..."
Then the giant gimp-suited mecha started dropping from the alien ship and it all went to hell.....

Arnie100 wrote:Angelo: "Someone just shoot me now..."
Dana: "Okay...(slaps an e-clip into her laser pistol)
Angelo: "You're still not mad about the tentacle movie thing, are you?"
Dana: "I'm so over that...this is for the dominatrix bit..."
Angelo: "You heard that? I didn't say that...That was Bowie's (look frantically around for Bowie, but he disappeared) -- aw, damn... "

Arnie100 wrote:Angelo: "Someone just shoot me now..."
Dana: "Okay...(slaps an e-clip into her laser pistol)
Angelo: "You're still not mad about the tentacle movie thing, are you?"
Dana: "I'm so over that...this is for the dominatrix bit..."
Angelo: "You heard that? I didn't say that...That was Bowie's (look frantically around for Bowie, but he disappeared) -- aw, damn... "

Sean: "Bowie's going to have his own problems."
Angelo: "Whattya mean by that?"
Louie: "We got a peak at the script. The scene where he meets Musica for the first time..."(mimes cracking a whip)

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:Angelo: "Someone just shoot me now..."
Dana: "Okay...(slaps an e-clip into her laser pistol)
Angelo: "You're still not mad about the tentacle movie thing, are you?"
Dana: "I'm so over that...this is for the dominatrix bit..."
Angelo: "You heard that? I didn't say that...That was Bowie's (look frantically around for Bowie, but he disappeared) -- aw, damn... "

Sean: "Bowie's going to have his own problems."
Angelo: "Whattya mean by that?"
Louie: "We got a peak at the script. The scene where he meets Musica for the first time..."(mimes cracking a whip)

Meanwhile in Louie's lab...

J.A.N.I.C.E.: (Snapping awake) "Download complete. Accepting new programming."

J.A.N.I.C.E.'s hologram changes as she steps out to find Louie.

Meanwhile in the lounge, Sean looks over the script.

Sean: (Thinking aloud) "I wonder if I should warn him?"

His thoughts are interrupted by the arrival of Marie Crystal in spiked leather carrying a riding crop.

Marie: "Reading the script!?! Someone's been a bad horsy!"

Sean: " "

Alpha 11 wrote:

SRoss wrote:Things the E.B.S.I.S. does better then the Army of the Southern Cross.

- Competitive Tank Singing.

Angelo: "The 15[sup]th[/sup] tried, but Dana's singing was deemed a crime against humanity."

When you said that, that was the first thing that came to my mind! And low and behold, the link was to it! Love the show! Though I have to drop it from 5 to 4 stars IMO, for the to flash back episodes! Two of them! They skipped an entire battle which WAS covered in the manga, so they didn't need one of these episodes! Sorry, I'll be getting off my soap box now.

What amazes me is their ability to take something so implausible and present it in a way that sounds vaguely believable.

definitely an anime i need to look into. cute girls and WW2 tanks for the win. (what was the song btw?)

glitterboy2098 wrote:definitely an anime i need to look into. cute girls and WW2 tanks for the win. (what was the song btw?)

The song is shortened and altered version of Katyusha

It actually goes more like this.

i've heard katyusha before, but i didn't recognize it in the clip. there is some irony however about a group of girls in tanks singing a song which is about a woman who was left behind by her love as he went off to war..

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:Angelo: "Someone just shoot me now..."
Dana: "Okay...(slaps an e-clip into her laser pistol)
Angelo: "You're still not mad about the tentacle movie thing, are you?"
Dana: "I'm so over that...this is for the dominatrix bit..."
Angelo: "You heard that? I didn't say that...That was Bowie's (look frantically around for Bowie, but he disappeared) -- aw, damn... "

Sean: "Bowie's going to have his own problems."
Angelo: "Whattya mean by that?"
Louie: "We got a peak at the script. The scene where he meets Musica for the first time..."(mimes cracking a whip)

Meanwhile in Louie's lab...

J.A.N.I.C.E.: (Snapping awake) "Download complete. Accepting new programming."

J.A.N.I.C.E.'s hologram changes as she steps out to find Louie.

Meanwhile in the lounge, Sean looks over the script.

Sean: (Thinking aloud) "I wonder if I should warn him?"

His thoughts are interrupted by the arrival of Marie Crystal in spiked leather carrying a riding crop.

Marie: "Reading the script!?! Someone's been a bad horsy!"

Sean: " "

Sean: "It wasn't my idea...I swear it wasn't! IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!"
Marie: "On your knees and take your punishment like the little weasel that you are (TWACKTWACKTWACKTWACK)!!"
Sean: "I WANT MY MOMMY!" (Sobbing hysterically)

Meanwhile, at Southern Cross Supreme HQ:
Field Marshal Leonard is being forcibly bent over his desk by a trio of identical female triplets in heavy rubber. His staff and security lie unconscious(they're moaning) near the busted down doors.
Triumvirate Leader: "On your knees, fatboy, and call me QUEEN!"

Security Guard (Tied up): "I don't think those are females at all..."

Arnie100 wrote:

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:Angelo: "Someone just shoot me now..."
Dana: "Okay...(slaps an e-clip into her laser pistol)
Angelo: "You're still not mad about the tentacle movie thing, are you?"
Dana: "I'm so over that...this is for the dominatrix bit..."
Angelo: "You heard that? I didn't say that...That was Bowie's (look frantically around for Bowie, but he disappeared) -- aw, damn... "

Sean: "Bowie's going to have his own problems."
Angelo: "Whattya mean by that?"
Louie: "We got a peak at the script. The scene where he meets Musica for the first time..."(mimes cracking a whip)

Meanwhile in Louie's lab...

J.A.N.I.C.E.: (Snapping awake) "Download complete. Accepting new programming."

J.A.N.I.C.E.'s hologram changes as she steps out to find Louie.

Meanwhile in the lounge, Sean looks over the script.

Sean: (Thinking aloud) "I wonder if I should warn him?"

His thoughts are interrupted by the arrival of Marie Crystal in spiked leather carrying a riding crop.

Marie: "Reading the script!?! Someone's been a bad horsy!"

Sean: " "

Sean: "It wasn't my idea...I swear it wasn't! IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!"
Marie: "On your knees and take your punishment like the little weasel that you are (TWACKTWACKTWACKTWACK)!!"
Sean: "I WANT MY MOMMY!" (Sobbing hysterically)

taalismn wrote:Meanwhile, at Southern Cross Supreme HQ:
Field Marshal Leonard is being forcibly bent over his desk by a trio of identical female triplets in heavy rubber. His staff and security lie unconscious(they're moaning) near the busted down doors.
Triumvirate Leader: "On your knees, fatboy, and call me QUEEN!"

Arnie100 wrote:Security Guard (Tied up): "I don't think those are females at all..."

glitterboy2098 wrote:definitely an anime i need to look into. cute girls and WW2 tanks for the win. (what was the song btw?)

Here's the link if you want to:

http://anilinkz.com/series/girls-und-panzer

Don't bother watching 5.5 or 10.5, they are just reviews of the 5 episodes that came before them with no new info. I'll defininitly be getting this one when it is dubed.

SRoss wrote:

Alpha 11 wrote:

SRoss wrote:Things the E.B.S.I.S. does better then the Army of the Southern Cross.

- Competitive Tank Singing.

Angelo: "The 15[sup]th[/sup] tried, but Dana's singing was deemed a crime against humanity."

When you said that, that was the first thing that came to my mind! And low and behold, the link was to it! Love the show! Though I have to drop it from 5 to 4 stars IMO, for the to flash back episodes! Two of them! They skipped an entire battle which WAS covered in the manga, so they didn't need one of these episodes! Sorry, I'll be getting off my soap box now.

What amazes me is their ability to take something so implausible and present it in a way that sounds vaguely believable.

Ya, very nicely done.

Arnie100 wrote:Security Guard (Tied up): "I don't think those are females at all..."

Dark Muscia: "Now you know why I'm looking for a man from outside this happy little society. It's like either a 24/7 playing of the 'Rocky Horror Picture Show' or it's like walrus-mating season."

(15h Squad walks by)

Angelo: "What the --"
Leonard: "HELP ME!!"
Louie: "I didn't see nothing...did you, Bowie?!"
Bowie: "NOPE. Just keep going"
Tirolian: "SAY IT, FATBOY!!!"

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:Security Guard (Tied up): "I don't think those are females at all..."

Dark Muscia: "Now you know why I'm looking for a man from outside this happy little society. It's like either a 24/7 playing of the 'Rocky Horror Picture Show' or it's like walrus-mating season."

Arnie100 wrote:(15h Squad walks by)

Angelo:

Alpha 11 wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:Security Guard (Tied up): "I don't think those are females at all..."

Dark Muscia: "Now you know why I'm looking for a man from outside this happy little society. It's like either a 24/7 playing of the 'Rocky Horror Picture Show' or it's like walrus-mating season."

Arnie100 wrote:(15h Squad walks by)

Angelo:

Accidently hit submit before it was done. Oopsie. It's done.

Emerson: "The speed with which these....Latexians...have managed to take over the Earth, and capture our high command structure suggests a lot of advance planning, perhaps inside sources of intel. It's possible that they infiltrated moles into the Southern Cross to pave the way for their invasion."
Remaining Free ASC Staff: "...."
Fredericks: "...ah, why's everybody looking at ME?"
Random MilIntel Officer: "What about the similarity between the weapons and uniforms of the enemy and the products in this adult catalogue? Care to explain that?"
Fredericks: "I'M NOT THAT FREDERICKS!"

Arnie100 wrote:

Alpha 11 wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:Security Guard (Tied up): "I don't think those are females at all..."

Dark Muscia: "Now you know why I'm looking for a man from outside this happy little society. It's like either a 24/7 playing of the 'Rocky Horror Picture Show' or it's like walrus-mating season."

Arnie100 wrote:(15h Squad walks by)

Angelo:

Accidently hit submit before it was done. Oopsie. It's done.

actually, it worked pretty well with your forum signature..

taalismn wrote:Emerson: "The speed with which these....Latexians...have managed to take over the Earth, and capture our high command structure suggests a lot of advance planning, perhaps inside sources of intel. It's possible that they infiltrated moles into the Southern Cross to pave the way for their invasion."
Remaining Free ASC Staff: "...."
Fredericks: "...ah, why's everybody looking at ME?"
Random MilIntel Officer: "What about the similarity between the weapons and uniforms of the enemy and the products in this adult catalogue? Care to explain that?"
Fredericks: "I'M NOT THAT FREDERICKS!"

Emerson: "I don't know...Your name appears as a...'consultant'?"
Fredericks: "IT'S NOT ME!"
Emerson: "Uh-huh...(looks at Nova) I think we found our mole..."
Nova: (Thinking) "My plan is working. The GMP will be MINE!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Fredericks: "IT'S NOT ME!!" (As two GMP pfficers take him away)

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Emerson: "The speed with which these....Latexians...have managed to take over the Earth, and capture our high command structure suggests a lot of advance planning, perhaps inside sources of intel. It's possible that they infiltrated moles into the Southern Cross to pave the way for their invasion."
Remaining Free ASC Staff: "...."
Fredericks: "...ah, why's everybody looking at ME?"
Random MilIntel Officer: "What about the similarity between the weapons and uniforms of the enemy and the products in this adult catalogue? Care to explain that?"
Fredericks: "I'M NOT THAT FREDERICKS!"

Emerson: "I don't know...Your name appears as a...'consultant'?"
Fredericks: "IT'S NOT ME!"
Emerson: "Uh-huh...(looks at Nova) I think we found our mole..."
Nova: (Thinking) "My plan is working. The GMP will be MINE!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Fredericks: "IT'S NOT ME!!" (As two GMP pfficers take him away)

Meanwhile; aboard the Latexian flagship...

A female warrior enters the Throne room:

Claudia: "The invasion goes well my queen!"

She, Kim and Vanessa salute the throne.

Sammie: "Excellent! Deploy the ground assault!"

Lynn Kyle: "What I'd like to know is why, in skits like this, Central Casting always calls me up for roles like 'Random Flaming Body Thrown Up By Explosion', or 'Nameless Sideline Mook Who Gets Caught in the Overkill'."

taalismn wrote:Lynn Kyle: "What I'd like to know is why, in skits like this, Central Casting always calls me up for roles like 'Random Flaming Body Thrown Up By Explosion', or 'Nameless Sideline Mook Who Gets Caught in the Overkill'."

Kevin: "You're related to Minmei? You have no talent?"

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Lynn Kyle: "What I'd like to know is why, in skits like this, Central Casting always calls me up for roles like 'Random Flaming Body Thrown Up By Explosion', or 'Nameless Sideline Mook Who Gets Caught in the Overkill'."

Kevin: "You're related to Minmei? You have no talent?"

Well, Minmei's ACTUAL talent is stock manipulation....the brainless idol starlet persona is really a cover, since who'd believe she's capable of understanding anything as complex as internationa/intergalactic finance? And so, while Wall Street financiers, stock brokers, and bankers are investigated by the powers that be for mishandling obscene amounts of capital, Lynn Minmei skips away with her memorized offshore and Swiss bank accounts.

Enron was child's play for her. Ken Lay was such a patsy...

Never trust idol-stars... they are the ultimate evil masterminds.
How do I come to this conclusion?
Look at all the fan-girls / boys who practically worship 'em. All these daemonic blow-up dolls would need to do is wink suggestively and they'd have legions of willing cannon fodder to lay the universe waste.

Still doesn't explain the 'Twi-hards' though...

DhAkael wrote:Still doesn't explain the 'Twi-hards' though...

Clever media manipulation by Master Vampires to get humanity to lower its guard and create a stupid, gullible, easily-accessed supply of food. Who'd take seriously reports of vampires preying on young women, especially in teen clubs, these days?
Not all predators rely on stealth or speed to bring down their prey; lure and ambush works just as effectively.

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Lynn Kyle: "What I'd like to know is why, in skits like this, Central Casting always calls me up for roles like 'Random Flaming Body Thrown Up By Explosion', or 'Nameless Sideline Mook Who Gets Caught in the Overkill'."

Kevin: "You're related to Minmei? You have no talent?"

Well, Minmei's ACTUAL talent is stock manipulation....the brainless idol starlet persona is really a cover, since who'd believe she's capable of understanding anything as complex as internationa/intergalactic finance? And so, while Wall Street financiers, stock brokers, and bankers are investigated by the powers that be for mishandling obscene amounts of capital, Lynn Minmei skips away with her memorized offshore and Swiss bank accounts.

Enron was child's play for her. Ken Lay was such a patsy...

Door explodes inward...

Minmei: "KYLE!!! THAT WAS A SECRET!!!"

Kevin: "Gotta go... Your on your own buddy." (Launches in escape pod as Minmei rakes Lynn Kyle and the rest of the room with gun fire.)

Kyle: "I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!!! It was his -- Where'd he go?! (Looks desperately for Kevin)

Arnie100 wrote:Kyle: "I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!!! It was his -- Where'd he go?! (Looks desperately for Kevin)

Minmei: (Smiling sweetly) "You know Kyle, I never PROPERLY thanked you for waiting til it was nearly too late to rescue me from Edwards ... and then failing..."

Kyle: "Umm ... Minmei, that's ... not ... really necessary."

Minmei ignores him, focusing instead on setting a series wicked looking tools on the table. Lynn Kyle goes pale she sets out a book, Chakra Torture for Beginners.

Arnie100 wrote:

Alpha 11 wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:Security Guard (Tied up): "I don't think those are females at all..."

Dark Muscia: "Now you know why I'm looking for a man from outside this happy little society. It's like either a 24/7 playing of the 'Rocky Horror Picture Show' or it's like walrus-mating season."

Arnie100 wrote:(15h Squad walks by)

Angelo:

Accidently hit submit before it was done. Oopsie. It's done.

We will forgive you... this time.

taalismn wrote:Emerson: "The speed with which these....Latexians...have managed to take over the Earth, and capture our high command structure suggests a lot of advance planning, perhaps inside sources of intel. It's possible that they infiltrated moles into the Southern Cross to pave the way for their invasion."
Remaining Free ASC Staff: "...."
Fredericks: "...ah, why's everybody looking at ME?"
Random MilIntel Officer: "What about the similarity between the weapons and uniforms of the enemy and the products in this adult catalogue? Care to explain that?"
Fredericks: "I'M NOT THAT FREDERICKS!"

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Emerson: "The speed with which these....Latexians...have managed to take over the Earth, and capture our high command structure suggests a lot of advance planning, perhaps inside sources of intel. It's possible that they infiltrated moles into the Southern Cross to pave the way for their invasion."
Remaining Free ASC Staff: "...."
Fredericks: "...ah, why's everybody looking at ME?"
Random MilIntel Officer: "What about the similarity between the weapons and uniforms of the enemy and the products in this adult catalogue? Care to explain that?"
Fredericks: "I'M NOT THAT FREDERICKS!"

Emerson: "I don't know...Your name appears as a...'consultant'?"
Fredericks: "IT'S NOT ME!"
Emerson: "Uh-huh...(looks at Nova) I think we found our mole..."
Nova: (Thinking) "My plan is working. The GMP will be MINE!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Fredericks: "IT'S NOT ME!!" (As two GMP pfficers take him away)

SRoss wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Emerson: "The speed with which these....Latexians...have managed to take over the Earth, and capture our high command structure suggests a lot of advance planning, perhaps inside sources of intel. It's possible that they infiltrated moles into the Southern Cross to pave the way for their invasion."
Remaining Free ASC Staff: "...."
Fredericks: "...ah, why's everybody looking at ME?"
Random MilIntel Officer: "What about the similarity between the weapons and uniforms of the enemy and the products in this adult catalogue? Care to explain that?"
Fredericks: "I'M NOT THAT FREDERICKS!"

Emerson: "I don't know...Your name appears as a...'consultant'?"
Fredericks: "IT'S NOT ME!"
Emerson: "Uh-huh...(looks at Nova) I think we found our mole..."
Nova: (Thinking) "My plan is working. The GMP will be MINE!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Fredericks: "IT'S NOT ME!!" (As two GMP pfficers take him away)

Meanwhile; aboard the Latexian flagship...

A female warrior enters the Throne room:

Claudia: "The invasion goes well my queen!"

She, Kim and Vanessa salute the throne.

Sammie: "Excellent! Deploy the ground assault!"

taalismn wrote:Lynn Kyle: "What I'd like to know is why, in skits like this, Central Casting always calls me up for roles like 'Random Flaming Body Thrown Up By Explosion', or 'Nameless Sideline Mook Who Gets Caught in the Overkill'."

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Lynn Kyle: "What I'd like to know is why, in skits like this, Central Casting always calls me up for roles like 'Random Flaming Body Thrown Up By Explosion', or 'Nameless Sideline Mook Who Gets Caught in the Overkill'."

Kevin: "You're related to Minmei? You have no talent?"

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Lynn Kyle: "What I'd like to know is why, in skits like this, Central Casting always calls me up for roles like 'Random Flaming Body Thrown Up By Explosion', or 'Nameless Sideline Mook Who Gets Caught in the Overkill'."

Kevin: "You're related to Minmei? You have no talent?"

Well, Minmei's ACTUAL talent is stock manipulation....the brainless idol starlet persona is really a cover, since who'd believe she's capable of understanding anything as complex as internationa/intergalactic finance? And so, while Wall Street financiers, stock brokers, and bankers are investigated by the powers that be for mishandling obscene amounts of capital, Lynn Minmei skips away with her memorized offshore and Swiss bank accounts.

Enron was child's play for her. Ken Lay was such a patsy...

I know it!

DhAkael wrote:Never trust idol-stars... they are the ultimate evil masterminds.
How do I come to this conclusion?
Look at all the fan-girls / boys who practically worship 'em. All these daemonic blow-up dolls would need to do is wink suggestively and they'd have legions of willing cannon fodder to lay the universe waste.

Still doesn't explain the 'Twi-hards' though...

That reminds me of a story on FF.net about a war that brook out btween fans of Halo and Twilight when they stared to argue which was better. It had some nice laughs in it.

taalismn wrote:

DhAkael wrote:Still doesn't explain the 'Twi-hards' though...

Clever media manipulation by Master Vampires to get humanity to lower its guard and create a stupid, gullible, easily-accessed supply of food. Who'd take seriously reports of vampires preying on young women, especially in teen clubs, these days?
Not all predators rely on stealth or speed to bring down their prey; lure and ambush works just as effectively.

ITS A CONSPERISY!!!!

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Lynn Kyle: "What I'd like to know is why, in skits like this, Central Casting always calls me up for roles like 'Random Flaming Body Thrown Up By Explosion', or 'Nameless Sideline Mook Who Gets Caught in the Overkill'."

Kevin: "You're related to Minmei? You have no talent?"

Well, Minmei's ACTUAL talent is stock manipulation....the brainless idol starlet persona is really a cover, since who'd believe she's capable of understanding anything as complex as internationa/intergalactic finance? And so, while Wall Street financiers, stock brokers, and bankers are investigated by the powers that be for mishandling obscene amounts of capital, Lynn Minmei skips away with her memorized offshore and Swiss bank accounts.

Enron was child's play for her. Ken Lay was such a patsy...

Door explodes inward...

Minmei: "KYLE!!! THAT WAS A SECRET!!!"

Kevin: "Gotta go... Your on your own buddy." (Launches in escape pod as Minmei rakes Lynn Kyle and the rest of the room with gun fire.)

Arnie100 wrote:Kyle: "I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!!! It was his -- Where'd he go?! (Looks desperately for Kevin)

SRoss wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:Kyle: "I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!!! It was his -- Where'd he go?! (Looks desperately for Kevin)

Minmei: (Smiling sweetly) "You know Kyle, I never PROPERLY thanked you for waiting til it was nearly too late to rescue me from Edwards ... and then failing..."

Kyle: "Umm ... Minmei, that's ... not ... really necessary."

Minmei ignores him, focusing instead on setting a series wicked looking tools on the table. Lynn Kyle goes pale she sets out a book, Chakra Torture for Beginners.

Someone has been to the Hidden Villiages.

SRoss wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:Kyle: "I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!!! It was his -- Where'd he go?! (Looks desperately for Kevin)

Minmei: (Smiling sweetly) "You know Kyle, I never PROPERLY thanked you for waiting til it was nearly too late to rescue me from Edwards ... and then failing..."

Kyle: "Umm ... Minmei, that's ... not ... really necessary."

Minmei ignores him, focusing instead on setting a series wicked looking tools on the table. Lynn Kyle goes pale she sets out a book, Chakra Torture for Beginners.

(Meanwhile, Rick and Lisa head towards Kevin's office, unaware of the horrors taking place within)

Rick: "So, who do you think they'll get to play me in the movie?"
Lisa: "Supposedly Tobey whathisname..."
Rick: "And I was hoping for a headliner like Tom Cruise or something..."
Lisa: "I'm hoping for Natalie Portman..."

(Rick and Lisa open the door and...)

Rick and Lisa:

(...Quickly run away)

Rick and Lisa:

(Inside Kevin's Office)

Kyle: "Please...no more..."
Minmei: "I'm not done yet. This book has about a thousand pages and there's also an advanced version I bet you're dying to try out!"
Kyle: "It's just not fair..."
Minmei: "I'm finally getting me some justice!"

T.R. Edwards quarters: Edwards opens the door to see an Invid Scout in a UPS uniform. It holds a package out to him...

Edwards: "This isn't from the Hunters is it?"

The scout turns it's body to indicate no.

Edwards: (Reading the invoice) "Oh, its from Minmei! Maybe she's finally apologising for the way she treated me?"

Edwards opens the package and a rabid Tazmanian Devil leaps out and latches on to his face.

Invid Scout: (Telepathically) "Maybe I'll just go and have that drink with Kevin now..." (Flies off at top speed)

(Via webcam attached to rabid tasmanian devil's back)

Edwards: "GYAAAAHH!!!! GET IT OFFAME!!!!"

(Watching via monitor)

Minmei: "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Justice is MINE!!!"
Kyle: (Still strapped to table) "Help me..."
Minmei: "Let's see...#101 Apply pressure to certain private area...this gonna be SO much fun..."

Minmei: "And then there's THIS book, if we get bored!"
(holds up a copy of Orthodontic Procedures for Secret Police)
Kyle: "...oh kami......"