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Little Snuzzles wrote:Captain Gloval: "Ah! We've successfully completed the modular transformation..."

Voltron (flying up to SDF-1): "Hey baby. What's your name??"

Captain Gloval: "Change back! Change back!"

taalismn wrote:Breetai: "Did we really have to obliterate that planet?"
Dolza: "THEY WERE LATE WITH MY CHINESE ORDER!!"

Little Snuzzles wrote:Janice: "0101010 1101100010101 0101 0010101."

Louie: "I love it when you talk dirty."

taalismn wrote:Corg: "I DON'T GET IT! How can such an insignificant little human command so much terror???!!!"
Commander Daryl Taylor: "As your spirit guide and personal haunter, I can cue you in on that: it's all thanks to the deal Annie cut with Evil Invisible Empress Musica....Musica gets to run the material universe of grownups, while Annie takes care of the cute nightmares and their realms."
Marlene Rush:(drifting by) "So...sort of like an eldritch Peter Pan, right?"
Commander Daryl Taylor:"Exactly!"
Corg: "What?! I don't get it!!!"
Commander Daryl Taylor:"Musica will break your flesh if she dislikes you. Annie prefers to break your soul. Unconsciousness is no respite for you; it simply makes it easier for Annie to seize your astral self."
Corg: "Like so many of your kind, you do not make sense, human!"
Commander Daryl Taylor:"You can't get away from her by passing out, slug-butt.(seeing a small glowing hand appearing out of the darkness behind Corg) See yah next time, #####er."
Corg: "What do you mean by THAT, human?! Wha-AUUGHHHH!!!NONONONONO!!!!!!!""
Annie: "FOUND YOU."

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:(Annie's 'toy chest')
Cthulu: "Hey! I just discovered something! She didn't bind my powers or anything before she shoved me in here! I POSSESS MY FULL ELDRITCH MIGHT!!!! "
Set:# "...she's still Annie, she doesn't HAVE to bind your powers to kick your ass...Now shut up and go back to sleep. You're disturbing Galactus and Tiamat..."#
Cthulu: "...oh...right...sorry..."

Galactus: "Hey; tentacle-face, if you're soooo ALL-POWERFUL...why are you still in this toy chest?

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Annie: "FOUND YOU."

Corg: "I WANNA STAY!!!!" (Crying hysterically)
Annie: "It's time to go home, snookums..."
Corg: "But I was just getting to like it there!"
Annie: "Your friends in the toy chest miss you, Mr. Snugles! Don't make me use my 'chubi beam' on you!"

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:(Annie's 'toy chest')
Cthulu: "Hey! I just discovered something! She didn't bind my powers or anything before she shoved me in here! I POSSESS MY FULL ELDRITCH MIGHT!!!! "
Set:# "...she's still Annie, she doesn't HAVE to bind your powers to kick your ass...Now shut up and go back to sleep. You're disturbing Galactus and Tiamat..."#
Cthulu: "...oh...right...sorry..."

Galactus: "Hey; tentacle-face, if you're soooo ALL-POWERFUL...why are you still in this toy chest?

Galactuc: "I HUNGER."(looking at Cthulu)

Little Snuzzles wrote:Janice: "0101010 1101100010101 0101 0010101."

Louie: "I love it when you talk dirty."

Little Snuzzles wrote:

taalismn wrote:
Galactuc: "I HUNGER."(looking at Cthulu)

Cthulhu: "You need to go to Weight Watchers, man. You got issues."

SRoss wrote:

Little Snuzzles wrote:

taalismn wrote:
Galactuc: "I HUNGER."(looking at Cthulu)

Cthulhu: "You need to go to Weight Watchers, man. You got issues."

Haster: (Pointing at a restraunt) "Look Galactus! All you can eat buffet!"

Uncle Max: "I'm ruined!!!"

glitterboy2098 wrote:Annie: "hey, where did all my WarPlanets sets go?"

Little Snuzzles wrote:Dolza: "Khyron! Are you in there?"

Khyron: "Damn it, Dolza. Didn't you see the sign?"

Sign on door: "If this cruiser is a'rockin', don't come a'knockin'."

Little Snuzzles wrote:Louie: "The space fold to Earth was successful."

Admiral Hunter: "How do you know?"

Louie: "Our scouts brought back a Double Venti Soy Latte."

Arnie100 wrote:

Little Snuzzles wrote:

taalismn wrote:
Galactuc: "I HUNGER."(looking at Cthulu)

Cthulhu: "You need to go to Weight Watchers, man. You got issues."

Galactus: "Mmmmm...SUSHI sounds GOOD!"

Little Snuzzles wrote:Captain Gloval: "Ah! We've successfully completed the modular transformation..."

Voltron (flying up to SDF-1): "Hey baby. What's your name??"

Captain Gloval: "Change back! Change back!"

taalismn wrote:Lang: "And this is the Strategic Permanent Modular Transformation Multidirectional Dispersal Decoy Mode intended to distract an enemy by splitting our vessel up into so many units on divergent courses they cannot be efficiently tracked and pursued."
Gloval: "I don't remember reading about that in the technical briefings!"
Lisa: "Did you just say the entire ship just came unglued and flew apart?"

Little Snuzzles wrote:Lisa: "Just a Coke please."

Fast food clerk: "Would you like to super dimension size that?"

taalismn wrote:Breetai: "Did we really have to obliterate that planet?"
Dolza: "THEY WERE LATE WITH MY CHINESE ORDER!!"

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Breetai: "Did we really have to obliterate that planet?"
Dolza: "THEY WERE LATE WITH MY CHINESE ORDER!!"

Azonia: "Well, I wanted a happy meal!"
Exedore: "They forgot my French Fries again..."

Little Snuzzles wrote:C-3PO: "Master Luke, I'm very concerned about Artoo."

Luke: "Oh? Why is that?"

C-3PO: "I found lewd pictures of the SDF-1 on his computer."

taalismn wrote:Gloval: "Lang, you did NOT just 'intrust the secret plans for the Grand Cannon to the droid' while you were drunk, did you?"
Lang: "...ah...maybe?"
Gloval: "That was a Petit Cola machine, and we now can't find it."
Lang: "...oops..."

Little Snuzzles wrote:A scene from Robotech Fiction...

MAX

You remember that one guy, Dolza, half-Zentradi/half-Zentradi? Usta call him Dolza Rocky Horror?

RICK

Yeah, fat right?

MAX

I wouldn't go so far as to call the brother fat; What's he gonna do? He's Zentradi.

RICK

Yeah, I remember him.

MAX

Well, Captain Gloval messed him up and word around the campfire, it was on account of Captain Gloval's girlfriend.

RICK

What'd he do? Screw her?

MAX

No, no, no, no, no. Nothin' that bad.

RICK

Well, what then?

MAX

He gave her a foot massage.

RICK

What did Captain Gloval do?

MAX

Sent a couple of RDF Marines over to his place and they threw him off the balcony. He fell four stories and now I hear he's developed a speech impediment.

RICK

That's a damn shame. But I have to say: play with matches, ya get burned.

MAX

What ya mean?

RICK

You don't be givin' Captain Gloval's girlfriend a foot massage.

MAX

You don't think he overreacted?

RICK

Dolza probably didn't expect Gloval to react the way he did, but he had to expect a reaction.

MAX

Foot massages don't be squat! I give my mother a foot massage.

RICK

Have you ever given a guy a foot massage?

MAX

Screw you.

RICK

'Cause I'm pretty tired. I could use a good foot massage.

MAX

Man, you best back off. I'm gettin' pissed.

Look, just 'cause I wouldn't give no man a foot massage don't make it right for Captain Gloval to throw Dolza off a balcony, messing up the way he talks. Mother Fuddrucker do that to me, he better paralyze my ass 'cause I'd kill a Mother Fuddrucker.

[Actual name of US restaurant chain. Google it.]


RICK

Look, I'm not saying he was right, but you're saying a foot massage don't mean something and I'm saying it does. I've given a million... well, actually.. two foot massages and they all...uh..they both meant something. There's a sensual kind of thing going on and nobody's talking about it but you know it and she knows it. Captain Gloval knew it and Dolza sure as hell should've known it.

MAX

You might be right...

DhAkael wrote:

Little Snuzzles wrote:Janice: "0101010 1101100010101 0101 0010101."

Louie: "I love it when you talk dirty."

Awareness; #*#Blush App. executing.#*# (glows red)

DhAkael wrote:

Little Snuzzles wrote:Janice: "0101010 1101100010101 0101 0010101."

Louie: "I love it when you talk dirty."

Awareness; #*#Blush App. executing.#*# (glows red)

taalismn wrote:Captain Grant:(as the Haydonote cruisers approach the ArkAngel) "It ain't over until the fat lady sings."
Louie: "Forget the fat lady. You're obsessed with the fat lady. Just get us out of here!"(pushes button)

(Meanwhile on bridge of Haydonite cruiser)
Skull and Crossbones:(appearing on Haydonite main view display) "HA-HA-HA-HA!"
(**BOOM**)

SailorCallie wrote:[
"Oh say can you see."

Roseanne Barr, 1990

SRoss wrote:

DhAkael wrote:

Little Snuzzles wrote:Janice: "0101010 1101100010101 0101 0010101."

Louie: "I love it when you talk dirty."

Awareness; #*#Blush App. executing.#*# (glows red)

J.A.N.I.C.E.: "#Uploading Striling.jpeg#"

Awareness: "Oh Crap!" (Ship explodes)

taalismn wrote:Captain Grant:(as the Haydonote cruisers approach the ArkAngel) "It ain't over until the fat lady sings."
Louie: "Forget the fat lady. You're obsessed with the fat lady. Just get us out of here!"(pushes button)

(Meanwhile on bridge of Haydonite cruiser)
Skull and Crossbones:(appearing on Haydonite main view display) "HA-HA-HA-HA!"
(**BOOM**)

SailorCallie wrote:

taalismn wrote:Captain Grant:(as the Haydonote cruisers approach the ArkAngel) "It ain't over until the fat lady sings."
Louie: "Forget the fat lady. You're obsessed with the fat lady. Just get us out of here!"(pushes button)

(Meanwhile on bridge of Haydonite cruiser)
Skull and Crossbones:(appearing on Haydonite main view display) "HA-HA-HA-HA!"
(**BOOM**)

"Oh say can you see."

Roseanne Barr, 1990

taalismn wrote:

SailorCallie wrote:[
"Oh say can you see."

Roseanne Barr, 1990

"...The Neutron S missiles aimed at meee......!"

Little Snuzzles wrote:(sound from Lisa's quarters): Whirr... Whirr... Whirr... BOOM! "Arrrrrgggg!"

Louie (knocking on door): "What happened?? Are you alright?"

Lisa (steps out in lingere): "The Haydonites sabotauged everything!"

taalismn wrote:

SailorCallie wrote:[
"Oh say can you see."

Roseanne Barr, 1990

"...The Neutron S missiles aimed at meee......!"

glitterboy2098 wrote:Invid Earth:
Scott: "can she fly?"
Lunk: "i'm a certified biomaintence engineer!"
*Scott jumps up to the cockpit, shedding his cyclone. starting up the fighter, it roars to life... then sputters and dies*
Scott: "Lunk, i thought you said you were an engineer?"
Lunk: "i am. I'm a certified biomaintenance engineer. not too good with engines and such, but its air conditioning works great!"

SRoss wrote:Arc Angel's Lounge, Scott, Ariel, Sera and Lancer sit together at a table. The two Princesses share a book...

Ariel: "Wait! So Scott puts his ... into my ... THAT'S SEX!!!"

Scott: "Yeah, that's the Birds and the Bees."

Ariel: "WAIT! THERE ARE BIRDS AND INSECTS INVOLVED!!!"

Scott: "Umm no dear, that's just a figure of speech."

Sera: "I'm willing to try the act, but do you have to wear that leather mask?"

Lancer: "Um, yes, yes I do."

Scott: (Aside to Lancer) "This is the LAST time we let them borrow books from the Bridge Bunnies."

glitterboy2098 wrote:could be worse. could have borrowed their instructional material from the Sterling family.

glitterboy2098 wrote:could be worse. could have borrowed their instructional material from the Sterling family.

Little Snuzzles wrote:Lancer: "If you want to join our resistance cell, you have to wrestle with a grizzly bear and have sex with a belly dancer."

Lunk: "Ok."

Later:

Lunk shows up with his clothes torn to shreds: "Now, where's that belly dancer I'm susposed to wrestle with?"

taalismn wrote:

glitterboy2098 wrote:could be worse. could have borrowed their instructional material from the Sterling family.

Yeah....Dana's first few dates were disasters.
Apparently not every boy can dodge thrown knives as well as Max could.
Fortunately, nobody was seriously injured(psychological trauma not withstanding), though it was Emerson clout and the Sterling mystique that kept criminal charges from being filed.
Oh, and Dana had to live down a rep as a 'psychotic crazy #####'.

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:

glitterboy2098 wrote:could be worse. could have borrowed their instructional material from the Sterling family.

Yeah....Dana's first few dates were disasters.
Apparently not every boy can dodge thrown knives as well as Max could.
Fortunately, nobody was seriously injured(psychological trauma not withstanding), though it was Emerson clout and the Sterling mystique that kept criminal charges from being filed.
Oh, and Dana had to live down a rep as a 'psychotic crazy #####'.

Other Unsuccessful Titles

The Secret to Finding the Right Guy by Lynn Minmei

Arnie100 wrote:

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:

glitterboy2098 wrote:could be worse. could have borrowed their instructional material from the Sterling family.

Yeah....Dana's first few dates were disasters.
Apparently not every boy can dodge thrown knives as well as Max could.
Fortunately, nobody was seriously injured(psychological trauma not withstanding), though it was Emerson clout and the Sterling mystique that kept criminal charges from being filed.
Oh, and Dana had to live down a rep as a 'psychotic crazy #####'.

Other Unsuccessful Titles

The Secret to Finding the Right Guy by Lynn Minmei

How To Serve Man Right (A Cooking Experience) by Hugh Mann

SRoss wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:

glitterboy2098 wrote:could be worse. could have borrowed their instructional material from the Sterling family.

Yeah....Dana's first few dates were disasters.
Apparently not every boy can dodge thrown knives as well as Max could.
Fortunately, nobody was seriously injured(psychological trauma not withstanding), though it was Emerson clout and the Sterling mystique that kept criminal charges from being filed.
Oh, and Dana had to live down a rep as a 'psychotic crazy #####'.

Other Unsuccessful Titles

The Secret to Finding the Right Guy by Lynn Minmei

How To Serve Man Right (A Cooking Experience) by Hugh Mann

And she's not even Gura Invid!!!

No wonder the book failed.

taalismn wrote:

glitterboy2098 wrote:could be worse. could have borrowed their instructional material from the Sterling family.

Yeah....Dana's first few dates were disasters.
Apparently not every boy can dodge thrown knives as well as Max could.
Fortunately, nobody was seriously injured(psychological trauma not withstanding), though it was Emerson clout and the Sterling mystique that kept criminal charges from being filed.
Oh, and Dana had to live down a rep as a 'psychotic crazy #####'.

Little Snuzzles wrote:Lancer: "If you want to join our resistance cell, you have to wrestle with a grizzly bear and have sex with a belly dancer."

Lunk: "Ok."

Later:

Lunk shows up with his clothes torn to shreds: "Now, where's that belly dancer I'm susposed to wrestle with?"

Little Snuzzles wrote:Dr. Lang: "It's up and it's working."

Lisa: "I'm glad you got the reflex engine working."

Dr. Lang: "What reflex engine?"

Arnie100 wrote:

Little Snuzzles wrote:Lancer: "If you want to join our resistance cell, you have to wrestle with a grizzly bear and have sex with a belly dancer."

Lunk: "Ok."

Later:

Lunk shows up with his clothes torn to shreds: "Now, where's that belly dancer I'm susposed to wrestle with?"

Invid Princesses: "LUNKY-POO!!! How COULD you!? After everything we've done for you!? Were you trying to cheat on US? ALL OF US? Now we're just gonna haveta PUNISH you!!"
Lunk: "Oh, crap...I think I prefer wrestling with the grizzly... "

taalismn wrote:Bowie Grant:(facepalming)"This is why I'm glad I only have to contend with the fact that my fiancee is the Sorta Secret Evil Empress of the Universe...."
Sean: "'Sorta Secrete'? Isn't that like 'sorta pregnant'? You are or you aren't, one or the other."
Bowie: "Because even if I tell everybody, it's not like anybody believes me. thus preserving the secret. Do you? Believe me, that is?"
Sean: "No."
Bowie: "See?"
Sean: "Ah."
Bowie: "You get it?"
Sean:"...no, not really."
Bowie: "See? It's working!"

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:

glitterboy2098 wrote:could be worse. could have borrowed their instructional material from the Sterling family.

Yeah....Dana's first few dates were disasters.
Apparently not every boy can dodge thrown knives as well as Max could.
Fortunately, nobody was seriously injured(psychological trauma not withstanding), though it was Emerson clout and the Sterling mystique that kept criminal charges from being filed.
Oh, and Dana had to live down a rep as a 'psychotic crazy #####'.

Other Unsuccessful Titles

The Secret to Finding the Right Guy by Lynn Minmei

Arnie100 wrote:Bowie: "Or is it because Musica's standing behind you??"
Sean: "Yep. And the fact that she has a knife at my back doesn't mean anything at all...also the fact that she threatened electro-shock therapy. Y'know the kind Karno's been getting? So, no. I don't believe she's the evil empress! She's a kind, gentle loving soul! Sheesh, Bowie...what's wrong with you? (Whispering) Help me!"

SRoss wrote:Arc Angel Medical Bay.

Angelo: (In Body Cast) "What are you in for?"

Marcus: (In Traction) "Broken Back, my C.O. wanted to experiment with something called *Snu Snu*. You?"

Angelo: "Shattered pelvis. My wife's race invented *Snu Snu*."

Arnie100 wrote:

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:

glitterboy2098 wrote:could be worse. could have borrowed their instructional material from the Sterling family.

Yeah....Dana's first few dates were disasters.
Apparently not every boy can dodge thrown knives as well as Max could.
Fortunately, nobody was seriously injured(psychological trauma not withstanding), though it was Emerson clout and the Sterling mystique that kept criminal charges from being filed.
Oh, and Dana had to live down a rep as a 'psychotic crazy #####'.

Other Unsuccessful Titles

The Secret to Finding the Right Guy by Lynn Minmei

How To Serve Man Right (A Cooking Experience) by Hugh Mann

SRoss wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:

glitterboy2098 wrote:could be worse. could have borrowed their instructional material from the Sterling family.

Yeah....Dana's first few dates were disasters.
Apparently not every boy can dodge thrown knives as well as Max could.
Fortunately, nobody was seriously injured(psychological trauma not withstanding), though it was Emerson clout and the Sterling mystique that kept criminal charges from being filed.
Oh, and Dana had to live down a rep as a 'psychotic crazy #####'.

Other Unsuccessful Titles

The Secret to Finding the Right Guy by Lynn Minmei

How To Serve Man Right (A Cooking Experience) by Hugh Mann

And she's not even Gura Invid!!!

No wonder the book failed.

Arnie100 wrote:
Gura Lisa Clone #1: "Did you read some of this stuff!?"
Gura Lisa Clone #2: "Eeeeeewwwww...we don't prepare man that way!"
Gura Lisa Clone #3: "What's a salad?"

SRoss wrote:Haydonites Are Too Crunchy by Gura Lisa Clones #1, #2 and #3

Arnie100 wrote:Improving Your Career by Lynn Kyle

Little Snuzzles wrote:Zentradi Girls Are Easy by Max Sterling

Little Snuzzles wrote:Zentradi and The Art of Motorcyle Mantainance by Exedore

taalismn wrote:War and Not-War by Dolza

A Tale of Two SuperDimensional Fortresses by Lisa Hayes-Hunter

Arnie100 wrote:How To Get Out Of A Bad Relationship by Corg

SRoss wrote:Getting Ahead Through Backstabbing by T.R. Edwards

Little Snuzzles wrote:Max: "I'm glad my Beta got assigned to your Alpha because I like you."

Rick: "Well, I like you, too."

Max: "No, I mean I like you like you."

Rick: "This is awkward."

SRoss wrote:Getting Ahead Through Backstabbing by T.R. Edwards

taalismn wrote:Exotic Dancing for Fun and Profit by Janice Em

Crush Your Enemies as They Flee Before You: An Idol Singer's Guide to Career Success by Lynn Minmei

Arnie100 wrote:

SRoss wrote:Getting Ahead Through Backstabbing by T.R. Edwards

Khyron: "HEYYY!!! That was MY idea!!!"

Arnie100 wrote:A Guide To Anger Management by Anatole Leonard

SRoss wrote:Cosmic Pole Dancing, A Complete Pictorial History by Musica

SRoss wrote:The Importance of Having a Good Relationship with Your Superiors by Angelo Dante

Respecting the Chain of Command by Dana Stirling

taalismn wrote:How to Get Ahead In Business Without Really Trying by The Masters R.

Little Snuzzles wrote:Karl Riber: "My girlfriend is so hot! We're going to dock in orbit as soon as I get out of here."

Friend: "You mean the brunette?"

Karl: "Yeah.."

Friend: "You're gonna need the 'Jaws of Life' for that one, Karl. That gal is more uptight than Dolza trying to use a bidet."

taalismn wrote:What Really Happened to Karl Riber:

"Try to get in my baby daughter's panties then run off to Mars? Or so you claim?" Admiral Donald Hayes muttered as he laid the sights of his high-powered hunting rifle on the distant figure who SHOULD have been on his way to Mars, or at least not several hundred miles away in a cabin in Alaska. "I don't think so."
Interestingly enough, Karl Riber's kit bag would make it to Mars, where it was tossed on the cabin assigned him. Everybody at Sara just figured he'd show up on a later flight with some story for his delayed arrival.

Arnie100 wrote:Admiral Hayes: "Im sorry he ditched you for Mars, honey. He really was an @sshole. You're better off in the service! That way, you don't have to worry about men cheating on you! (And I can keep a better eye on you)"

taalismn wrote:What Really Happened to Karl Riber:

"Karl, don't go in there! THa-(FWHOP*HSSSTTTT!!!!)--- airlock's not fixed yet....Stupid daydreamer."

"Wr gather here to pay our respects to our brave colleagues who died working to advance Humanity in their work on this lonely outpost of Human exploration. Our colleagues who paid the price of developing the far frontier in the construction of Mars Base Sara.
And we also pay our respects to Karl Riber, who choked to death on a snack peanut from a can he'd smuggled aboard in defiance of military regulations."

"Ribeer! Quit fooling around with that thing! It might be (#BLAM!#)-loaded...."

"Not sure I want to send a notification of death to the Riber family explaining he died in a freak accident involving an electric toothbrush...."

"The gerbil's going to survive. I can't say the same for MIster Riber..."

"Death by 'Vadering'? Really?"