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SRoss wrote:"Yes, Colonel Edwards, your addition to the flight IS last minute, but we found a place for you. Here we go, seat 39B."

"Hi, the name's Riber, could we switch seats, I prefer the window."

"Sure. Funny that click sounded just like a pressure det ..."

"Hayse here. What! An onboard explosion! Two casualties only. That's good. A bomb you say? Damn AUL, I'll have some of their bases bombed."

Little Snuzzles wrote:Summary of this week's episode of The Young and The Protocultureless...

Rick got off to Lisa like he needed money for gas.

Lisa said, "Man, can I get in tha house??? And who left all these beercans here?! Gloval did! Uh-huh! Gloval!"

When Lisa saw Gloval later, she threw him down, took his cocaine, and told him that if he didn't quit leaving beer cans around, she would plant his package in the wrong place.

Just then, Minmei pranced in after failing to pick up any guys on Mars Base and asked Lancer to reconsider. Telling her, "Hell no!!" was the only bright spot in his day until Marlene called at told him that Lunk had quit to the team to become a mack daddy.

"I don't care what you do!!" Minmei said, " 'Cause I'm Minmei! Jail-breakin', heart-takin', love-makin', money-gettin' goldmine..!"

Then, Minmei said, "I'm coming out with a new line of jeans and put my name on every butt in the SDF-3!"

Max and Rook were making out in the board room when Miriya walked in.

Max jumped up: "Whatchoo doin' here???!! ....uh... ..I mean... How nice to see you!"

When Miriya tried to be affectionate, Max brushed her off with the 'Long-Day-We-Had-A-Fire-Drill' routine.

The next day, Max told Rook: "Look, we can't do dat no mo."

And Rook was all, "What am I susposed to do? Turn my feelings off?"

But Max was like: "Hey! My life is complicated enough right now, plus I have to tell everyone Lunk has left to become a player."

Just then, Lunk drove up in a pimped-out Ford Escort....

taalismn wrote:Rick: "So we have the love triangle.."
MInmei: "We've had the ultra close-up shot of my corneas..."
Lisa: "The tragic misunderstanding..."
Max:"The antagonistic relationship..."
Kim: "Means we have to have a hospital scene..."
Lynn Kyle: "GGGAHHHH!!! YOU BROKE MY KNEECAPS!!!!"
Ben: (holding crowbar) "It was you or me, bro, and I choose you..."

SRoss wrote:

Things Never to do with Protoculture

#301. Use Protoculture to enhance Viagra[sup]tm[/sup]. If you have to ask why, maybe your not imaginative enough to be on this thread?

SRoss wrote:Azonia: "Khyron! I'm leaving you! Gloval is a hundred times the man you'll ever be!!!"

Khyron: "Baby! Give me another chance! It was cold in there!"

Meanwhile.

Gloval: "Doctor Lang, do you have my prescription?"

Lang: "Ja!" (Hands him a brown paper bag full of pills.)

SRoss wrote:

Things Never to do with Protoculture

#301. Use Protoculture to enhance Viagra[sup]tm[/sup]. If you have to ask why, maybe your not imaginative enough to be on this thread?

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:

Things Never to do with Protoculture

#301. Use Protoculture to enhance Viagra[sup]tm[/sup]. If you have to ask why, maybe your not imaginative enough to be on this thread?

"BY the Protoculture, Khyron! Aren't you supposed to be with a female before you do something like that?! And we might want to use that missile later!"
"...shut up and get me a first aid kit..."

Little Snuzzles wrote:Scott: "....................'flower of life'................"

Marlene: ".......................'Neutron-S Missile'..................."

Scott: "..............................'MDC explosion'......................."

Marlene: ".........................'protoculture'............"

Little Snuzzles wrote:Claudia: "I am the Chief Communications Bridge Officer and manage all traffic between the SDF-1, Earth and Mars Bases, and all operating Veritechs."

Max: "Yeah, but have you done any real work?"

Miriya (walking into infirmary): "He's got a broom stick where..?"

Little Snuzzles wrote:Rick: "Ohh! Sorry!!! I didn't realize this was the women's sauna..."

Kyle (irritated): "It's not!"

Arnie100 wrote:

Little Snuzzles wrote:Rick: "Ohh! Sorry!!! I didn't realize this was the women's sauna..."

Kyle (irritated): "It's not!"

Lancer: "It's alright, Kyle...I get that mistake quite often..."

SRoss wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:

Little Snuzzles wrote:Rick: "Ohh! Sorry!!! I didn't realize this was the women's sauna..."

Kyle (irritated): "It's not!"

Lancer: "It's alright, Kyle...I get that mistake quite often..."

From within the steam....

Claudia: (Snapping a broomstick in two) "That's because this IS the women's sauna."

Little Snuzzles wrote:Rick: "Ohh! Sorry!!! I didn't realize this was the women's sauna..."

Kyle (irritated): "It's not!"

Arnie100 wrote:

Little Snuzzles wrote:Rick: "Ohh! Sorry!!! I didn't realize this was the women's sauna..."

Kyle (irritated): "It's not!"

Lancer: "It's alright, Kyle...I get that mistake quite often..."

SRoss wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:

Little Snuzzles wrote:Rick: "Ohh! Sorry!!! I didn't realize this was the women's sauna..."

Kyle (irritated): "It's not!"

Lancer: "It's alright, Kyle...I get that mistake quite often..."

From within the steam....

Claudia: (Snapping a broomstick in two) "That's because this IS the women's sauna."

Alrik Vas wrote:

SRoss wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:

Little Snuzzles wrote:Rick: "Ohh! Sorry!!! I didn't realize this was the women's sauna..."

Kyle (irritated): "It's not!"

Lancer: "It's alright, Kyle...I get that mistake quite often..."

From within the steam....

Claudia: (Snapping a broomstick in two) "That's because this IS the women's sauna."

Claudia seems more like Otae from Gintama the longer this goes on.

At least she has a great Pinapple Salad.

taalismn wrote:Max: "I think Lynn Kyle may be on to something....Why can't we lay down our weapons and make peace with the Zentraedi? ALL of them? I mean, we're all peace-seeking beings under the armor and the uniforms and..."
Miriya: "Oops...wrong eyeglasses, dear! Here's your usual pair! I don't know why we had those rose-tinted ones..."

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Max: "I think Lynn Kyle may be on to something....Why can't we lay down our weapons and make peace with the Zentraedi? ALL of them? I mean, we're all peace-seeking beings under the armor and the uniforms and..."
Miriya: "Oops...wrong eyeglasses, dear! Here's your usual pair! I don't know why we had those rose-tinted ones..."

Max: "Kill them...kill them all...KILL ALL THE B@ST@RDS!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
Miriya: "DEFINITELY not THOSE!"

taalismn wrote:Max: "I think Lynn Kyle may be on to something....Why can't we lay down our weapons and make peace with the Zentraedi? ALL of them? I mean, we're all peace-seeking beings under the armor and the uniforms and..."
Miriya: "Oops...wrong eyeglasses, dear! Here's your usual pair! I don't know why we had those rose-tinted ones..."

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Max: "I think Lynn Kyle may be on to something....Why can't we lay down our weapons and make peace with the Zentraedi? ALL of them? I mean, we're all peace-seeking beings under the armor and the uniforms and..."
Miriya: "Oops...wrong eyeglasses, dear! Here's your usual pair! I don't know why we had those rose-tinted ones..."

Max: "Kill them...kill them all...KILL ALL THE B@ST@RDS!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
Miriya: "DEFINITELY not THOSE!"

SRoss wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Max: "I think Lynn Kyle may be on to something....Why can't we lay down our weapons and make peace with the Zentraedi? ALL of them? I mean, we're all peace-seeking beings under the armor and the uniforms and..."
Miriya: "Oops...wrong eyeglasses, dear! Here's your usual pair! I don't know why we had those rose-tinted ones..."

Max: "Kill them...kill them all...KILL ALL THE B@ST@RDS!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
Miriya: "DEFINITELY not THOSE!"

"Odd? I wonder how Max got my Mideast observation glasses?"

taalismn wrote:Max: "I'M BLIND! IT'S ALL BLACK!"
Rick: "Anybody seen my Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril-Sensitive Sunglasses?"
Miriya: "Over here!"

Alrik Vas wrote:SCENE: Battle rages between the RDF and Kyron's Zentradi forces at Zekropolis, Lynn Kyle and Minmei are held prisoner within.

Outside, Kyron, astride his stolen MAC-II, sees his Galug take a hit

Kyron: LASAGNA! *leaps off the destroid, throws open the pod's pilot compartment* Lasagna! Are you alright? ANSWER ME!
Azonia/Lasagna: No...marinara sauce left...
Kyron: Then we'll have to get some more. *turns heroically to his men as they fight the RDF* All pods to the corner store!

Lisa, in AWACS: huh???? Why are those zentradi halting their retreat at that 7-11? *facepalm* And why is skull squadron stopping with them?

Rick via radio: Minmei was out of lipgloss.

Little Snuzzles wrote:Exedore: "I've developed a new emergency response system I call the Fast Action Protocol, or 'fap' for short."

Captain Gloval: "Uh..... maybe a different name would be better."

taalismn wrote:

Little Snuzzles wrote:Exedore: "I've developed a new emergency response system I call the Fast Action Protocol, or 'fap' for short."

Captain Gloval: "Uh..... maybe a different name would be better."

"And as a backup to the Minmei Attack we've...ah..."
"Yes?"
"We've collected as much of the ship's pornography as anybody was willing to volunteer..amd we've digitized it for transmission on the Zentraedi command bands..."
"..That's... interesting."
"Some of the stuff though...we might wanna be careful about it leaking over to our own people...it's ...well, we almost lost three technicians who were arranging the stuff."

Arnie100 wrote:[

Gloval: "Maybe we should send the tentacle stuff to the Zentraedi...and see what their reaction would be...before we send the others, da?"

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:[

Gloval: "Maybe we should send the tentacle stuff to the Zentraedi...and see what their reaction would be...before we send the others, da?"

"ARGH!!!! The planet's infested with Cthulu-spawn! Eradicate the entire planet! Quick! Before they can spread!"

Arnie100 wrote:[

The truth behind the Rain Of Death has finally been revealed...

Little Snuzzles wrote:Rick: "Max! How come you're always covered with bruises?"

Max: "Miriya and I have been using the Zentradi Kama-Sutra & some of the positions are insane."

Rick: "..................................So, uh, see you at the flight check." (walks away quickly)

Little Snuzzles wrote:Exedore: "I've developed a new emergency response system I call the Fast Action Protocol, or 'fap' for short."

Captain Gloval: "Uh..... maybe a different name would be better."

taalismn wrote:

Little Snuzzles wrote:Exedore: "I've developed a new emergency response system I call the Fast Action Protocol, or 'fap' for short."

Captain Gloval: "Uh..... maybe a different name would be better."

"And as a backup to the Minmei Attack we've...ah..."
"Yes?"
"We've collected as much of the ship's pornography as anybody was willing to volunteer..amd we've digitized it for transmission on the Zentraedi command bands..."
"..That's... interesting."
"Some of the stuff though...we might wanna be careful about it leaking over to our own people...it's ...well, we almost lost three technicians who were arranging the stuff."

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Little Snuzzles wrote:Exedore: "I've developed a new emergency response system I call the Fast Action Protocol, or 'fap' for short."

Captain Gloval: "Uh..... maybe a different name would be better."

"And as a backup to the Minmei Attack we've...ah..."
"Yes?"
"We've collected as much of the ship's pornography as anybody was willing to volunteer..amd we've digitized it for transmission on the Zentraedi command bands..."
"..That's... interesting."
"Some of the stuff though...we might wanna be careful about it leaking over to our own people...it's ...well, we almost lost three technicians who were arranging the stuff."

Gloval: "Maybe we should send the tentacle stuff to the Zentraedi...and see what their reaction would be...before we send the others, da?"

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:[

Gloval: "Maybe we should send the tentacle stuff to the Zentraedi...and see what their reaction would be...before we send the others, da?"

"ARGH!!!! The planet's infested with Cthulu-spawn! Eradicate the entire planet! Quick! Before they can spread!"

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:[

Gloval: "Maybe we should send the tentacle stuff to the Zentraedi...and see what their reaction would be...before we send the others, da?"

"ARGH!!!! The planet's infested with Cthulu-spawn! Eradicate the entire planet! Quick! Before they can spread!"

The truth behind the Rain Of Death has finally been revealed...

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:[

The truth behind the Rain Of Death has finally been revealed...

Dolza: "You ARE the weakest link! GOODBYE!"

Arnie100 wrote:Breetai: "Don't forget Jericho!! You maniacs!"
Exedore: "And Knight Rider 2008!!"
Breetai: "You actually liked that show!?"

Arnie100 wrote:Khyron: "This is for telling Gerao he gets paid! Do you know how much all that backpay's going to cost me!?"

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:Khyron: "This is for telling Gerao he gets paid! Do you know how much all that backpay's going to cost me!?"

I can just see it now...."Local Invading Alien Horde #34 is now ON STRIKE! For better wages! For health benefits! For clear guidelines on when we can be used as cannon fodder! For a say in who we invade and how we invade them! This is a sit-in, lock-down labor strike until management agrees to meet with us in collective bargaining and our demands are met!!!"

Arnie100 wrote:[Khyron: "Grel! Order the men to launch the attack! Revenge will be MINE!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"
Grel: "Excuse me, My Lord...before we launch the attack, our union rep would like a word with you..."
Khyron: "Union rep!? What is this madness!?"
Gerao: "As the Union representative for Local Invading Alien Horde #34, we have a bone to pick with you! We would like wages, better living conditions, a 24 - hour Minmei music channel...(Gerao continues the list)"
Khyron: "And where did you get this idea, Gerao?"
Gerao: "The Humans, My Lord! Anyways...(continues reading the list)"
Khyron: "I hate those Humans!"

taalismn wrote:REAL Reasons for the Rain of Death:

Dolza: "This is for canceling 'Firefly'!!!"

taalismn wrote:Khyron: "THIS IS FOR PUTTING MAYONNAISE ON PIZZA!!!"

Arnie100 wrote:Dolza: "This is for Hostess closing down!! I WANT MY TWINKIES!!!"

taalismn wrote:Grel: "THIS IS FOR THOSE ATM FEES!!!"

SRoss wrote:Gero: "We get paid!?!"

Arnie100 wrote:Khyron: "This is for telling Gerao he gets paid! Do you know how much all that backpay's going to cost me!?"

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:Khyron: "This is for telling Gerao he gets paid! Do you know how much all that backpay's going to cost me!?"

I can just see it now...."Local Invading Alien Horde #34 is now ON STRIKE! For better wages! For health benefits! For clear guidelines on when we can be used as cannon fodder! For a say in who we invade and how we invade them! This is a sit-in, lock-down labor strike until management agrees to meet with us in collective bargaining and our demands are met!!!"

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:Khyron: "This is for telling Gerao he gets paid! Do you know how much all that backpay's going to cost me!?"

I can just see it now...."Local Invading Alien Horde #34 is now ON STRIKE! For better wages! For health benefits! For clear guidelines on when we can be used as cannon fodder! For a say in who we invade and how we invade them! This is a sit-in, lock-down labor strike until management agrees to meet with us in collective bargaining and our demands are met!!!"

Khyron: "Grel! Order the men to launch the attack! Revenge will be MINE!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"
Grel: "Excuse me, My Lord...before we launch the attack, our union rep would like a word with you..."
Khyron: "Union rep!? What is this madness!?"
Gerao: "As the Union representative for Local Invading Alien Horde #34, we have a bone to pick with you! We would like wages, better living conditions, a 24 - hour Minmei music channel...(Gerao continues the list)"
Khyron: "And where did you get this idea, Gerao?"
Gerao: "The Humans, My Lord! Anyways...(continues reading the list)"
Khyron: "I hate those Humans!"

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:[Khyron: "Grel! Order the men to launch the attack! Revenge will be MINE!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"
Grel: "Excuse me, My Lord...before we launch the attack, our union rep would like a word with you..."
Khyron: "Union rep!? What is this madness!?"
Gerao: "As the Union representative for Local Invading Alien Horde #34, we have a bone to pick with you! We would like wages, better living conditions, a 24 - hour Minmei music channel...(Gerao continues the list)"
Khyron: "And where did you get this idea, Gerao?"
Gerao: "The Humans, My Lord! Anyways...(continues reading the list)"
Khyron: "I hate those Humans!"

"...and a choice of a dark or white chocolate desert with every third meal."
Khyron: "...what the HELL?!"

SRoss wrote:Gerao: "And two weeks paid vacation on the Praxian homeworld!"

Khyron: "I blame YOU for this Grel!"

Arnie100 wrote:Gerao: "And Minmei posters in every mecha cockpit (except the female ones), a liquor bar in every ship, paid holidays..."
Khyron: "I really HATE those Humans!"

taalismn wrote:"...and co-ed integrated barracks."
"Eh?"
"They want women to move in."
"ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!"
"Change is good. Change is inevitable, Milord."
"...You apparently never spent a month stranded aboard a derelict Zentran cruiser with Azonia... You wouldn't be so insistant on that 'change' then!"
"...eh?...."

SRoss wrote:Sammy: (Coming out of Khyron's bathroom in nothing but a bathrobe) "Hey Snookums have you seen my tooth brush?"

Gerao & Grel: "SNOOKUMS!?!"

Khyron: (Facepalm) "I really hate micronians..."

taalismn wrote:Khyron: "Micronian females are like the mythical 'abyss' the Micronian lore-spouters are so fond of alluding to; the more you TRY to change them, the more they change YOU."
Sammy: "What was that?"
Khyron: "...ah...NOTHING, dearie!"

Arnie100 wrote:Khyron: "Seriously; Grel...help me! I have no idea how that crazy Micronian got into my quarters!"
Grel: "Sure, MiLord! Ummm...excuse me, MiLord, things to do!"
Khyron: "Grel, get back here!"
Sammie: "Dearie...(holding a whip) you MUST be taught a lesson!"
Gerao: "I have to go, MiLord! Just wanted to deliver our grievances, bye!"

taalismn wrote:Admiral Hayes: "The good news is the aliens have suspended their plan to obliterate our planet while they deal with an internal command dispute. The bad news is, they've decided to join the Teamsters."

Arnie100 wrote:Dolza: "Why hasn't the attack on the on Micronian homeworld commenced, Breetai!?"
Breetai: "You see; Dolza, we are now unionized! There will be NO attacks until the union votes on it..."
Dolza: "I blame Khyron for this!"

taalismn wrote:Grel: "So basically we're hiring Human scab-labor to attack their own homeworld?"
Khyron: "That's right! Using their strength against them!"
Grel:"But isn't that dangerous?"
Khyron: "Hah! Micronians are weak and duplicitous! Perfectly willing to turn on their fellow micronians for material gain! What possi-"
#ZHAM!#
Grel: (looking at where the other end of the room they're in starts to drift away after a ship-bisecting heavy cannon shot slices the room and ship apart)"I dunno...they might turn the guns on US?"
Khyron: " "

Arnie100 wrote:Khyron: "Gerao, weren't you supposed to negotiate with the Micronians??"
Gerao: (On the other half of the ship) "I forgot about that"

Little Snuzzles wrote:Jack Baker: "Very nice. Smooth, sleek, ready for action."

Karen Penn (nodding): "The Shadow Alpha is a amazing mecha."

Jack (coughs): "Yes.. The Shadow Alpha... That's what I was talking about."

taalismn wrote:

Little Snuzzles wrote:Jack Baker: "Very nice. Smooth, sleek, ready for action."

Karen Penn (nodding): "The Shadow Alpha is a amazing mecha."

Jack (coughs): "Yes.. The Shadow Alpha... That's what I was talking about."

Jack demonstrates that it is sometimes better to be lucky, than to be skilled.

taalismn wrote:Gerao: "Apparently there's this concept called 'minimum wage' I forgot about."

Little Snuzzles wrote:Rick: "I think you better be micronized before we..."

Azonia: "Why, my love?"

Rick: "Well, for one thing, I can't swim."

Little Snuzzles wrote:Jack Baker: "Very nice. Smooth, sleek, ready for action."

Karen Penn (nodding): "The Shadow Alpha is a amazing mecha."

Jack (coughs): "Yes.. The Shadow Alpha... That's what I was talking about."