TSAW 3.0 ... The REF and Third Robotech War.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Jan 10, 2008 6:19 pm

Rule #15---(for the ship's nerd) Know, acknowledge, resign yourself, and make absolute peace with the fact that you're singularly unattractive to members of the opposite sex. This will allow you to IMMEDIATELY recognize the signs of alien infiltration/possession when women suddenly start throwing themselves at you and begin attempting to seduce you(preparatory to using you as disposable breeding material, or killing you away from sight). AFTER you've managed to survive and escape, and verified the problem, you can see if you have advanced to lovin'-worthy, at which point you can capitalize on being a hero. If women still don't look at you, well, you're no worse off than before.

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Thu Jan 10, 2008 8:42 pm

ROFLMAO!! I think these should be in the Rifts Dimensional area of the forum too!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Jan 10, 2008 8:47 pm

Rule #16---Don't expect The Company to have your best interests in mind. It's easier to get forgiveness than resurrection.

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Thu Jan 10, 2008 9:01 pm

Shouldn't that be # 16.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Jan 10, 2008 9:05 pm

Fixed...

Rule # 17----When tearing holes in the space/time continiuum---Make sure you can CLOSE them...better yet, don't tear them open in the first place.

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Thu Jan 10, 2008 9:12 pm

LOL I've got a character who is always closing others torn open space / time holes in the continuium.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Jan 10, 2008 9:22 pm

Rule #18--If you feel compelled to probe open dimensional rifts with a stick...get a longer stick...yours ain't long enough...

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Thu Jan 10, 2008 9:25 pm

ROFLMAO That was a great one! :lol:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Jan 10, 2008 9:31 pm

Rule #19---Travel light. Make sure all your most treasured personal possessions can fit in an easily toted knapsack or shoulderbag that can also conceal a powerful handgun, extra ammo, is tough enough to stop alien teeth, claws, acids, light projectile and energy weapon fire, is light enough to sling ahead of you, and small enough to conceal ahead of time on the ship's lifeboat or fast shuttle.

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Thu Jan 10, 2008 9:38 pm

Most gamers have that sort of tool with them already. I know I do.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Jan 10, 2008 9:42 pm

Rule # 20---The ship's doctor always has the best booze...Remember this when making a molotov cocktail, attempting to intoxicate the alien, or just planning on killing the pain of your imminent demise...

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Thu Jan 10, 2008 9:57 pm

That is a great one! It definately reminds me of Bones!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Jan 11, 2008 2:26 pm

Rule #21---Insist on BRIGHT BRIGHT arc-lighting that allows you to see every nook and cranny of every room and corridor of your ship...you're on a spaceship of advanced technology, that should have operating room-like cleanliness and lighting...not a cave lit by candlelight,

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Sat Jan 12, 2008 5:10 am

LOL That is another great one! I still think you should put this over in the dimensional forum.

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Sat Jan 12, 2008 5:47 am

How bout this one #22-If one of your crewmates has been missing for 24 hours or more and suddly shows up shoot first then ask questions.#23-If a Crewmate starts to go mad.Point him at the critters and run the other way.He or she will bye the rest of u time to get way.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Jan 12, 2008 7:48 pm

Great!

Rule # 24---Before going back into hibersleep; do a complete sweep of the ship for remaining alien organisms/hardware.

Rule #25----Assume your super-intelligent ship's AI can read lips BEFORE discussing what to do about its erratic behavior...

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Mon Jan 14, 2008 2:48 am

ROFLMAO!!! Those are great ones!!!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Jan 14, 2008 6:10 pm

Rule # 26---Inquire beforehand as to WHY your civilian ship has a self-destruct system/capability...What situations in previous company/service history have arisen that have necessitated the inclusion of such a device?

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 6:24 pm

Always a good one to know. Of course that could be governmental requirement for owning one. Just in case a prblem happens! I hope these keep coming!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 6:55 pm

WE work best with user support, ya' know...We can't have seen ALL the bad movies out ther, so feel free to draw upon any bad movie experience you may have had...the ones where you think: "Excuse me,,,what dumbass couldn't see THAT coming?"

Rule #27...Decontamination Procedures...Whenever returning to the ship from an alien environment, frisk the resident scientist for that sample of unknown mineral or alien life you KNOW he just couldn't resist taking, against orders and common sense...Frisk him at gun point if necessary with the stipulation that he gets pistol-whipped every time he complains with "It's in the name of science!" or "You barbarians, isn't this what we're REALLY out here for?"

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:00 pm

ROFLMAO!! That is a truly useful one! Of course they all are!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Jan 16, 2008 6:29 pm

Rule #28----Doesn't matter how good the food or booze you find on the abandoned ship is...Until you know what killed the previous crew...DON'T TOUCH IT. It's better to suffer another month of cold MREs than a night of alcoholic bliss and a mutating hangover the next morning...

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 1:21 am

LOL I don't think the crew of the "Red Dwarf" believe in that one!

Although the "Firefly" crew understand that problem.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 6:42 pm

Certain undersea mining crews as well...

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 11:57 pm

Underseas mining vehicles and crew? At this moment I'm not sure which one you are referring too.

devillin · Unread post by **devillin** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 2:50 am

Aramanthus wrote:Underseas mining vehicles and crew? At this moment I'm not sure which one you are referring too.

Leviathan

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 4:40 pm

Oh ok. I remember that movie now! Thanks Devillin!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 7:38 pm

Rule #29---Unless the company rep onsite is your ex-wife or immediate family member, you're better off locking him in a closet, or, in extreme situations, making sure he's first into the danger zone for a convenient 'accident'...If the company rep is advising you by remote, get a second opinion on what to do or feign 'communications problems'....

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 8:19 pm

LOL That ia very appropriate Taalismn!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 8:47 pm

Rule # 30---If you have the genuis responsible for the derelict ship/station on hand, DON'T WAIT: have him immediately subdue and pump him, under drugs if possible, with threat of grievous bodily harm if necessary, for every detail of his work and any interesting personal tidbits of information like his psychological state at the time of constructing it, or any ulterior motives for sabotaging it...This will save you considerable grief later when those facts emerge later, too late for pre-emptive action.

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 8:53 pm

LOL That is yet another great rule!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Jan 19, 2008 5:37 pm

Rule #31---Don't be afraid to be afraid or at least professionally cautious...Acting badass going INTO an unknown situation is a sure sign you're going to get wiped out. Do your victory dance AFTER you killed the monster or pulled off the rescue.

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:55 pm

I know that is true! That was a great one!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 7:24 pm

Rule #32---If your ship has an AI, note whether it can actively carry out actions aboard your ship, running managing robots or piloting the ship...If it can, it will run amok in any future encounter and try to kill you...If it cannot affect anything, it will the most loyal and trustworthy ally you have aboard ship...and be absolutely useless...

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 3:18 am

Sounds like an excellent one! And sounds very practical! Holly falls in the useless area!

devillin · Unread post by **devillin** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 2:48 pm

taalismn wrote:Rule #32---If your ship has an AI, note whether it can actively carry out actions aboard your ship, running managing robots or piloting the ship...If it can, it will run amok in any future encounter and try to kill you...If it cannot affect anything, it will the most loyal and trustworthy ally you have aboard ship...and be absolutely useless...

Gosh, I hope my players aren't reading this. :demon:

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 4:33 pm

Too many hints for them? I'm sure they won't pay too much attention to them! At least we hope they don't pay too much attention to it!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 7:46 pm

Rule #33---Slime is rarely ever a good thing...

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 9:47 pm

ROFLMAO!!! That is a good one! Slime is especially bad if it falls to your planet in a crusty little meteor!

devillin · Unread post by **devillin** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 1:20 am

Aramanthus wrote:Too many hints for them? I'm sure they won't pay too much attention to them! At least we hope they don't pay too much attention to it!

Nah, they just rolled straight past them. It's the starship flaw that I posted over in Phase World.

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 1:50 am

It was a great flaw you posted! Please post more flaws!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Jan 26, 2008 10:48 am

Rule #34---Never, EVER, take shortcuts through uncharted, underpopulated regions of space...The amount of time you HOPE to save will be offset by the certainty of a mechanical failure far from help, a landing on a planet with hostile alien life forms, and indifferent response from authorities who KNOW what kind of danger lurks in such regions...

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 3:41 am

crewmen:Uh, sir I think we're in trouble.
Captain:Why do you say that?
crewmen:Because we're sounded by Killer furbies.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Jan 27, 2008 2:45 pm

Rule #35---Make sure your escape pods are where they can do the most good...located immediately adjacent to the living quarters and/ore command deck...not at the end of some long corridor which will inevitably become a) flooded b) infested by carnivorous xenomorphs...requiring a run-the-gauntlet that will pare down the starting numbers of crewmembers to a bare minimum...

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Wed Jan 30, 2008 3:56 am

ROFLMAO!! That was a great one!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Jan 30, 2008 6:07 pm

Rule # 36----Don't count on the aliens being idiots. When you least expect it, they learn how to open doors, cut electrical power, and get ahead of you.

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Thu Jan 31, 2008 2:48 am

LOL That one is great. I know several groups who could have used that one!

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Jan 31, 2008 6:47 pm

*Rule #37--Carry at least three backups to your flashlights and/or portable sensor devices...if your main one goes out, grab the back-up...If you find yourself going through sensor devices and lighting sources that don't work, don't wait until you've gone through all of them to start retreating...RETREAT NOW!

Aramanthus · Unread post by **Aramanthus** » Thu Jan 31, 2008 11:00 pm

LOL That is another great rule! Just out of curiousity..........what inspired that one?

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Feb 01, 2008 3:27 pm

Usually, a good sign of imminent alien activity or supernatural presences is a) lights start failing, b) sensors/scanners start acting strangely, prompting somebody to start slapping their flashlight or fiddling with their sensor-instrument instead of bracing for trouble or pelting back to where there IS light and/or a clear line of sight...