Forums of the Megaverse®

Rule #15---(for the ship's nerd) Know, acknowledge, resign yourself, and make absolute peace with the fact that you're singularly unattractive to members of the opposite sex. This will allow you to IMMEDIATELY recognize the signs of alien infiltration/possession when women suddenly start throwing themselves at you and begin attempting to seduce you(preparatory to using you as disposable breeding material, or killing you away from sight). AFTER you've managed to survive and escape, and verified the problem, you can see if you have advanced to lovin'-worthy, at which point you can capitalize on being a hero. If women still don't look at you, well, you're no worse off than before.

ROFLMAO!! I think these should be in the Rifts Dimensional area of the forum too!

Rule #16---Don't expect The Company to have your best interests in mind. It's easier to get forgiveness than resurrection.

Shouldn't that be # 16.

Fixed...

Rule # 17----When tearing holes in the space/time continiuum---Make sure you can CLOSE them...better yet, don't tear them open in the first place.

LOL I've got a character who is always closing others torn open space / time holes in the continuium.

Rule #18--If you feel compelled to probe open dimensional rifts with a stick...get a longer stick...yours ain't long enough...

ROFLMAO That was a great one!

Rule #19---Travel light. Make sure all your most treasured personal possessions can fit in an easily toted knapsack or shoulderbag that can also conceal a powerful handgun, extra ammo, is tough enough to stop alien teeth, claws, acids, light projectile and energy weapon fire, is light enough to sling ahead of you, and small enough to conceal ahead of time on the ship's lifeboat or fast shuttle.

Most gamers have that sort of tool with them already. I know I do.

Rule # 20---The ship's doctor always has the best booze...Remember this when making a molotov cocktail, attempting to intoxicate the alien, or just planning on killing the pain of your imminent demise...

That is a great one! It definately reminds me of Bones!

Rule #21---Insist on BRIGHT BRIGHT arc-lighting that allows you to see every nook and cranny of every room and corridor of your ship...you're on a spaceship of advanced technology, that should have operating room-like cleanliness and lighting...not a cave lit by candlelight,

LOL That is another great one! I still think you should put this over in the dimensional forum.

How bout this one #22-If one of your crewmates has been missing for 24 hours or more and suddly shows up shoot first then ask questions.#23-If a Crewmate starts to go mad.Point him at the critters and run the other way.He or she will bye the rest of u time to get way.

Great!

Rule # 24---Before going back into hibersleep; do a complete sweep of the ship for remaining alien organisms/hardware.

Rule #25----Assume your super-intelligent ship's AI can read lips BEFORE discussing what to do about its erratic behavior...

ROFLMAO!!! Those are great ones!!!

Rule # 26---Inquire beforehand as to WHY your civilian ship has a self-destruct system/capability...What situations in previous company/service history have arisen that have necessitated the inclusion of such a device?

Always a good one to know. Of course that could be governmental requirement for owning one. Just in case a prblem happens! I hope these keep coming!

WE work best with user support, ya' know...We can't have seen ALL the bad movies out ther, so feel free to draw upon any bad movie experience you may have had...the ones where you think: "Excuse me,,,what dumbass couldn't see THAT coming?"

Rule #27...Decontamination Procedures...Whenever returning to the ship from an alien environment, frisk the resident scientist for that sample of unknown mineral or alien life you KNOW he just couldn't resist taking, against orders and common sense...Frisk him at gun point if necessary with the stipulation that he gets pistol-whipped every time he complains with "It's in the name of science!" or "You barbarians, isn't this what we're REALLY out here for?"

ROFLMAO!! That is a truly useful one! Of course they all are!

Rule #28----Doesn't matter how good the food or booze you find on the abandoned ship is...Until you know what killed the previous crew...DON'T TOUCH IT. It's better to suffer another month of cold MREs than a night of alcoholic bliss and a mutating hangover the next morning...

LOL I don't think the crew of the "Red Dwarf" believe in that one! Although the "Firefly" crew understand that problem.

Certain undersea mining crews as well...

Underseas mining vehicles and crew? At this moment I'm not sure which one you are referring too.

Aramanthus wrote:Underseas mining vehicles and crew? At this moment I'm not sure which one you are referring too.

Leviathan

Oh ok. I remember that movie now! Thanks Devillin!

Rule #29---Unless the company rep onsite is your ex-wife or immediate family member, you're better off locking him in a closet, or, in extreme situations, making sure he's first into the danger zone for a convenient 'accident'...If the company rep is advising you by remote, get a second opinion on what to do or feign 'communications problems'....

LOL That ia very appropriate Taalismn!

Rule # 30---If you have the genuis responsible for the derelict ship/station on hand, DON'T WAIT: have him immediately subdue and pump him, under drugs if possible, with threat of grievous bodily harm if necessary, for every detail of his work and any interesting personal tidbits of information like his psychological state at the time of constructing it, or any ulterior motives for sabotaging it...This will save you considerable grief later when those facts emerge later, too late for pre-emptive action.

LOL That is yet another great rule!

Rule #31---Don't be afraid to be afraid or at least professionally cautious...Acting badass going INTO an unknown situation is a sure sign you're going to get wiped out. Do your victory dance AFTER you killed the monster or pulled off the rescue.

I know that is true! That was a great one!

Rule #32---If your ship has an AI, note whether it can actively carry out actions aboard your ship, running managing robots or piloting the ship...If it can, it will run amok in any future encounter and try to kill you...If it cannot affect anything, it will the most loyal and trustworthy ally you have aboard ship...and be absolutely useless...

Sounds like an excellent one! And sounds very practical! Holly falls in the useless area!

taalismn wrote:Rule #32---If your ship has an AI, note whether it can actively carry out actions aboard your ship, running managing robots or piloting the ship...If it can, it will run amok in any future encounter and try to kill you...If it cannot affect anything, it will the most loyal and trustworthy ally you have aboard ship...and be absolutely useless...

Gosh, I hope my players aren't reading this.

Too many hints for them? I'm sure they won't pay too much attention to them! At least we hope they don't pay too much attention to it!

Rule #33---Slime is rarely ever a good thing...

ROFLMAO!!! That is a good one! Slime is especially bad if it falls to your planet in a crusty little meteor!

Aramanthus wrote:Too many hints for them? I'm sure they won't pay too much attention to them! At least we hope they don't pay too much attention to it!

Nah, they just rolled straight past them. It's the starship flaw that I posted over in Phase World.

It was a great flaw you posted! Please post more flaws!

Rule #34---Never, EVER, take shortcuts through uncharted, underpopulated regions of space...The amount of time you HOPE to save will be offset by the certainty of a mechanical failure far from help, a landing on a planet with hostile alien life forms, and indifferent response from authorities who KNOW what kind of danger lurks in such regions...

crewmen:Uh, sir I think we're in trouble.
Captain:Why do you say that?
crewmen:Because we're sounded by Killer furbies.

Rule #35---Make sure your escape pods are where they can do the most good...located immediately adjacent to the living quarters and/ore command deck...not at the end of some long corridor which will inevitably become a) flooded b) infested by carnivorous xenomorphs...requiring a run-the-gauntlet that will pare down the starting numbers of crewmembers to a bare minimum...

ROFLMAO!! That was a great one!

Rule # 36----Don't count on the aliens being idiots. When you least expect it, they learn how to open doors, cut electrical power, and get ahead of you.

LOL That one is great. I know several groups who could have used that one!

*Rule #37--Carry at least three backups to your flashlights and/or portable sensor devices...if your main one goes out, grab the back-up...If you find yourself going through sensor devices and lighting sources that don't work, don't wait until you've gone through all of them to start retreating...RETREAT NOW!

LOL That is another great rule! Just out of curiousity..........what inspired that one?

Usually, a good sign of imminent alien activity or supernatural presences is a) lights start failing, b) sensors/scanners start acting strangely, prompting somebody to start slapping their flashlight or fiddling with their sensor-instrument instead of bracing for trouble or pelting back to where there IS light and/or a clear line of sight...