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Arnie100 wrote:

THINGS HEARD JUST BEFORE THE BATTLE WITH DOLZA'S FLEET

"I'm sure we'll get lots of help from our forces on Earth!"

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:

THINGS HEARD JUST BEFORE THE BATTLE WITH DOLZA'S FLEET

"

"You're STILL going to die a virgin."

DhAkael wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:

THINGS HEARD JUST BEFORE THE BATTLE WITH DOLZA'S FLEET

"

"I still had two more payments on my car..."

SRoss wrote:

THINGS HEARD JUST BEFORE THE BATTLE WITH DOLZA'S FLEET

"Ha! My Ex is down there!"

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:

THINGS HEARD JUST BEFORE THE BATTLE WITH DOLZA'S FLEET

"You still believing that $#!+ about the Zentraedi having a million ships? Yeah, RIGHT!"

"#Urk!#"
BLAM!

Drill Instructor: "And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you NEVER eat bean burritos before donning a low-pressure spacesuit and stepping out into space."

taalismn wrote:"#Urk!#"
BLAM!

Drill Instructor: "And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you NEVER eat bean burritos before donning a low-pressure spacesuit and stepping out into space."

That reminds me of an interesting show I saw on the D-Day landings. They did an indept study on why some people survived the landing at Omaha Beach and why some didn't. Apperently the Navy feed the troops a big meal before they landed. Ruff waters with a full stomach equals sea sickness, equals losing your lunch, equals weakening of your body. It's the little things that can determine the things between life and death. Just remember the landing in Saving Private Ryan, and you get the picture.

Alpha 11 wrote:

taalismn wrote:"#Urk!#"
BLAM!

Drill Instructor: "And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you NEVER eat bean burritos before donning a low-pressure spacesuit and stepping out into space."

That reminds me of an interesting show I saw on the D-Day landings. They did an indept study on why some people survived the landing at Omaha Beach and why some didn't. Apperently the Navy feed the troops a big meal before they landed. Ruff waters with a full stomach equals sea sickness, equals losing your lunch, equals weakening of your body. It's the little things that can determine the things between life and death. Just remember the landing in Saving Private Ryan, and you get the picture.

So many other things went wrong during those landings too...like they were directing troops to take cover behind beach obstacles...which had been wired by the Navy demolitions teams sent in an hour earlier to blow up and clear said same obstacles...
The fact that they SUCCEEDED in taking the beaches tells you how tough they made folks back then.

taalismn wrote:

Alpha 11 wrote:

taalismn wrote:"#Urk!#"
BLAM!

Drill Instructor: "And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you NEVER eat bean burritos before donning a low-pressure spacesuit and stepping out into space."

That reminds me of an interesting show I saw on the D-Day landings. They did an indept study on why some people survived the landing at Omaha Beach and why some didn't. Apperently the Navy feed the troops a big meal before they landed. Ruff waters with a full stomach equals sea sickness, equals losing your lunch, equals weakening of your body. It's the little things that can determine the things between life and death. Just remember the landing in Saving Private Ryan, and you get the picture.

So many other things went wrong during those landings too...like they were directing troops to take cover behind beach obstacles...which had been wired by the Navy demolitions teams sent in an hour earlier to blow up and clear said same obstacles...
The fact that they SUCCEEDED in taking the beaches tells you how tough they made folks back then.

Ya, many factors came into play that day that made it a victory for the Allies. Good grieve, the guys at Utah landed at the wrong place! Though it turned out to be a good thing, because they place they landed was easier to take then the original place they had plan.

taalismn wrote:"#Urk!#"
BLAM!

Drill Instructor: "And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you NEVER eat bean burritos before donning a low-pressure spacesuit and stepping out into space."

Dixon: "Ohhh, craappp...Sarge, I gotta go!"
Drill Instructor: "How many did you have, son?!"
Dixon: "I can't remember!!"
Drill Instructor: "Everyone, SCATTER!!"

"We tried to have an emergency pressure release system refitted into the suits. Looked good on paper, but then we started losing guys overboard putting themselves into trans-Urantrans-Plutonian orbit. To compensate we had to increase the attraction factor of the EVA boot magnets, but then people cpuldn't move in them...they just had so sort of shuffle along the hull."

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:"#Urk!#"
BLAM!

Drill Instructor: "And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you NEVER eat bean burritos before donning a low-pressure spacesuit and stepping out into space."

Dixon: "Ohhh, craappp...Sarge, I gotta go!"
Drill Instructor: "How many did you have, son?!"
Dixon: "I can't remember!!"
Drill Instructor: "Everyone, SCATTER!!"

taalismn wrote:"We tried to have an emergency pressure release system refitted into the suits. Looked good on paper, but then we started losing guys overboard putting themselves into trans-Urantrans-Plutonian orbit. To compensate we had to increase the attraction factor of the EVA boot magnets, but then people cpuldn't move in them...they just had so sort of shuffle along the hull."

taalismn wrote:"We tried to have an emergency pressure release system refitted into the suits. Looked good on paper, but then we started losing guys overboard putting themselves into trans-Urantrans-Plutonian orbit. To compensate we had to increase the attraction factor of the EVA boot magnets, but then people cpuldn't move in them...they just had so sort of shuffle along the hull."

(Infirmary, SDF-1)

Nurse: "What happened to HIM?!"
Cadet: "Bean Burrito Overload..."
Doctor: "I just had one..."

"But beans are rich in dietary fiber and other nutrients! They're GOOD food!"
"You keep saying that, you Earth-bound bastards! You just wanted everybody on the SDF-1 to suffer when you re-provisioned us with all that surplus bean and cheese."

Dr. Lang: "So, let's see...what's 'essence of Protoculture', hmm?"
Nurse Hugh Mannn: "I dunno...but these burritos, so tasty!"

(Back on Earth)

Leonard: "I had nothing to do with that shipment of burritos!"

"Why yes, all our breakfast courses are Nattō."

Mistakes NOT to Be Repeated In Building Robotech Mecha:(with Hangar Chief annotations)

-The 'Rubber Facegripper Dashboard Egg With Exploding Directional Action' ---Might have been giggles in the drafting room, but field tests with the pilots have proven conducive to death threats. Delete it from further production.

-Power Cup Holders: either tone down the spring tension or delete it all together. This is the third cockpit canopy we've replaced due to a Mountain Dew strike from inside.

-Cockpit Shower, Bath, and Sauna System. SUPPOSED to relax pilots on long missions. So far we've had six drownings.

-Limb Attachment Points---Tighten them. DON'T WELD THEM. We're either losing limbs or the mecha can't move or transform.

-Neural 'Thinking Cap' System---Tune down the sensitivity, folks, the things are picking up too many random thoughts. We've had VFs transform into marital aides, or mecha going berserk on ice cream raids.

-Full Tactile Somatic Control System---Yeah, responds INCREDIBLY, but the pilots are wondering why they have to be completely nude to use it.

-Gnerl Conversion ID System---Folks, remember to change the IFF system around so it's OUR folks are the GOOD guys, other guys the BAD guys.

-Automatic Pilot Restraint System---Either better padding or less tension. We've had multiple in-cockpit upchucks, several near-decapitations, and several offers from 'Bondage Belt Magazine'.

-Voice-Accompanied Critical Damage Reportage System---The vocal interface is all very nice and informative, but must it ALWAYS have end critical announcements with 'Have a Nice Day'?

-Long Duration Patrol Pilot Waste Management Catheterization System---OKay, it's already creepy and intrusive enough, but do we really need THAT MUCH active suction on the outflow hookups?

Mistakes NOT to Be Repeated In Building Robotech Mecha:(with Hangar Chief annotations)

-The 'Rubber Facegripper Dashboard Egg With Exploding Directional Action' ---If I find wboever thought this one up...

-Power Cup Holders:---Do NOT place hot coffee on these...

-Neural 'Thinking Cap' System---Addendum: Must keep porn out of the cockpits...

-Mecha Chainsaws---Nice concept, but really, did you have to make them LANYARD ACTIVATED? Nothing sucks worse than being cut down in close combat while struggling to pull-start your own melee weapon.

-Pilot In-Helmet Refreshment System---Okay, did we really need a positive overpressure flow system instead of a simple STRAW? One pull on the canteen nipple and we've had pilots forcefed their entire onboard refreshment supply in a matter of minutes! It's either forced gluttony or drowning in their own helmets!

-Somatic Feedback System---Okay, rigging the ship to feed stimuli from damaged or impacted hull sections to the pilots so they have a sense of 'body awareness' sounds good on paper. One good micro-meteor storm, though, and I think the system zapped a whole squadron shock treatment style. Turn it down or tear it out!

Hanger Chief: "Who comes up with these things?!"

Arnie100 wrote:Hanger Chief: "Who comes up with these things?!"

Dr. Lazlo Zand; *Gendo Pose*

*Positive Reinforcement Self-Destruct System ---I object to anything that tells me to 'have a nice day!' before blowing my ship, and possibly myself, up with it.

Cockpit Toilet System---"Someone PLEASE get rid of this...nice idea, but did anyone figure out how to unclog this thing?"

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:"We tried to have an emergency pressure release system refitted into the suits. Looked good on paper, but then we started losing guys overboard putting themselves into trans-Urantrans-Plutonian orbit. To compensate we had to increase the attraction factor of the EVA boot magnets, but then people cpuldn't move in them...they just had so sort of shuffle along the hull."

(Infirmary, SDF-1)

Nurse: "What happened to HIM?!"
Cadet: "Bean Burrito Overload..."
Doctor: "I just had one..."

taalismn wrote:"But beans are rich in dietary fiber and other nutrients! They're GOOD food!"
"You keep saying that, you Earth-bound bastards! You just wanted everybody on the SDF-1 to suffer when you re-provisioned us with all that surplus bean and cheese."

Arnie100 wrote:Dr. Lang: "So, let's see...what's 'essence of Protoculture', hmm?"
Nurse Hugh Mannn: "I dunno...but these burritos, so tasty!"

(Back on Earth)

Leonard: "I had nothing to do with that shipment of burritos!"

SRoss wrote:"Why yes, all our breakfast courses are Nattō."

Role that beutieful bean footage!

taalismn wrote:Mistakes NOT to Be Repeated In Building Robotech Mecha:(with Hangar Chief annotations)

-The 'Rubber Facegripper Dashboard Egg With Exploding Directional Action' ---Might have been giggles in the drafting room, but field tests with the pilots have proven conducive to death threats. Delete it from further production.

-Power Cup Holders: either tone down the spring tension or delete it all together. This is the third cockpit canopy we've replaced due to a Mountain Dew strike from inside.

-Cockpit Shower, Bath, and Sauna System. SUPPOSED to relax pilots on long missions. So far we've had six drownings.

-Limb Attachment Points---Tighten them. DON'T WELD THEM. We're either losing limbs or the mecha can't move or transform.

-Neural 'Thinking Cap' System---Tune down the sensitivity, folks, the things are picking up too many random thoughts. We've had VFs transform into marital aides, or mecha going berserk on ice cream raids.

-Full Tactile Somatic Control System---Yeah, responds INCREDIBLY, but the pilots are wondering why they have to be completely nude to use it.

-Gnerl Conversion ID System---Folks, remember to change the IFF system around so it's OUR folks are the GOOD guys, other guys the BAD guys.

-Automatic Pilot Restraint System---Either better padding or less tension. We've had multiple in-cockpit upchucks, several near-decapitations, and several offers from 'Bondage Belt Magazine'.

-Voice-Accompanied Critical Damage Reportage System---The vocal interface is all very nice and informative, but must it ALWAYS have end critical announcements with 'Have a Nice Day'?

-Long Duration Patrol Pilot Waste Management Catheterization System---OKay, it's already creepy and intrusive enough, but do we really need THAT MUCH active suction on the outflow hookups?

Arnie100 wrote:Mistakes NOT to Be Repeated In Building Robotech Mecha:(with Hangar Chief annotations)

-The 'Rubber Facegripper Dashboard Egg With Exploding Directional Action' ---If I find wboever thought this one up...

-Power Cup Holders:---Do NOT place hot coffee on these...

-Neural 'Thinking Cap' System---Addendum: Must keep porn out of the cockpits...

taalismn wrote:-Mecha Chainsaws---Nice concept, but really, did you have to make them LANYARD ACTIVATED? Nothing sucks worse than being cut down in close combat while struggling to pull-start your own melee weapon.

-Pilot In-Helmet Refreshment System---Okay, did we really need a positive overpressure flow system instead of a simple STRAW? One pull on the canteen nipple and we've had pilots forcefed their entire onboard refreshment supply in a matter of minutes! It's either forced gluttony or drowning in their own helmets!

-Somatic Feedback System---Okay, rigging the ship to feed stimuli from damaged or impacted hull sections to the pilots so they have a sense of 'body awareness' sounds good on paper. One good micro-meteor storm, though, and I think the system zapped a whole squadron shock treatment style. Turn it down or tear it out!

Arnie100 wrote:Hanger Chief: "Who comes up with these things?!"

DhAkael wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:Hanger Chief: "Who comes up with these things?!"

Dr. Lazlo Zand; *Gendo Pose*

taalismn wrote:*Positive Reinforcement Self-Destruct System ---I object to anything that tells me to 'have a nice day!' before blowing my ship, and possibly myself, up with it.

Arnie100 wrote:Cockpit Toilet System---"Someone PLEASE get rid of this...nice idea, but did anyone figure out how to unclog this thing?"

* Veritech Microgravity Asteroid Tethering System---Okay, it's a rocket-powered anchor. We get that. Anybody else have problems with hauling a heavy ANCHOR around in space? Anybody else accidentally fire it into the carrier deck on a high speed pass? Anybody else see physics in violent action here?

taalismn wrote:* Veritech Microgravity Asteroid Tethering System---Okay, it's a rocket-powered anchor. We get that. Anybody else have problems with hauling a heavy ANCHOR around in space? Anybody else accidentally fire it into the carrier deck on a high speed pass? Anybody else see physics in violent action here?

Cockpit Sprinkler System---Please remove this, some pilots have been trying to use this to create a jacuzzi in their cockpit...

In-Flight Entertainment System ---This is especially distractng during landings...

*Powered Multi-Position Auto-Adjusting Cockpit Seat----There's a reason flight crews have taken to calling this thing the 'Mangle-o-matic'. Also 'Maim-o-matic' if I'm not making myself PERFECTLY clear.

Arnie100 wrote: Cockpit Sprinkler System---Please remove this, some pilots have been trying to use this to create a jacuzzi in their cockpit...

In-Flight Entertainment System ---This is especially distractng during landings...

taalismn wrote:*Powered Multi-Position Auto-Adjusting Cockpit Seat----There's a reason flight crews have taken to calling this thing the 'Mangle-o-matic'. Also 'Maim-o-matic' if I'm not making myself PERFECTLY clear.

The New Generation:
The "Swimming Scene"

Rand(in swim trunks): "Com'on, Scott! Live a little! Come on in and swim!"
Scott:"I don't know how to swim..."
Rand:"I'll teach you!"
(Hauls a protesting Scott into the water)
Rand: "It's easy! All you have to do is-"
*CHOMP*
(looking at where the Great White has just swum into the shallows and swallowed Scott like a seal)
"...avoid the sharks."

Ariel: (Teleporting the shark on to the beach) "SPIT HIM OUT NOW OR I'M GIVING YOU TO MOM!!!"

Shark spits Scott out so hard he skips across the water.

Same Scene: Take Two:
Rand: "It's easy! All you have to do is-"
*CHOMP*
Scott: (looking at where Rand has just vanished beneath the waves) "Uh-uh....That's as good a reason as any...I am NOT going in the water."

taalismn wrote:The New Generation:
The "Swimming Scene"

Rand(in swim trunks): "Com'on, Scott! Live a little! Come on in and swim!"
Scott:"I don't know how to swim..."
Rand:"I'll teach you!"
(Hauls a protesting Scott into the water)
Rand: "It's easy! All you have to do is-"
*CHOMP*
(looking at where the Great White has just swum into the shallows and swallowed Scott like a seal)
"...avoid the sharks."

SRoss wrote:Ariel: (Teleporting the shark on to the beach) "SPIT HIM OUT NOW OR I'M GIVING YOU TO MOM!!!"

Shark spits Scott out so hard he skips across the water.

taalismn wrote:Same Scene: Take Two:
Rand: "It's easy! All you have to do is-"
*CHOMP*
Scott: (looking at where Rand has just vanished beneath the waves) "Uh-uh....That's as good a reason as any...I am NOT going in the water."

Annie: "Gee...Rook must be feeling better! She just punched out that shark!"

(Same scene: Jaws theme playing in the background as we see a brief glimpse of a human figure following a shark....)

"Dammit, Annie, leave that poor shark alone!"
Annie: "Aww, I was only fishing..."

Annie: "Wow! I can't believe it! You got the shark to give up Rand!"
Rook: "It was just good luck. nothing more. How you feeling, Rand?"
Rand: "Dizzy...but a lot better now that I'm on the be-"
#SCHLORP!#
" "
" "
" "
" "
Lunk: "...okay, who ever thought mutant CLAMS would be among the threats we'd face?"
Rook: "Clambake."
#SPITUI!#

a group of bikini clad girls come down to the beach.

Invid Princesses: "Ohhh, Lunky poo! Imagine meeting you here!"

Annie: "Umm ... Why is Lunk trying to crawl inside that clam?"

Ariel & Sera: (Popping Mentos) "Invid hive mind telepathy strikes again."

taalismn wrote:Annie: "Gee...Rook must be feeling better! She just punched out that shark!"

Arnie100 wrote:(Same scene: Jaws theme playing in the background as we see a brief glimpse of a human figure following a shark....)

"Dammit, Annie, leave that poor shark alone!"
Annie: "Aww, I was only fishing..."

Shark thinking, "KEEP HER AWAY!!!!!"

taalismn wrote:Annie: "Wow! I can't believe it! You got the shark to give up Rand!"
Rook: "It was just good luck. nothing more. How you feeling, rand?"
Rand: "Dizzy...but a lot better now that I'm on the be-"
#SCHLORP!#
" "
" "
" "
" "
Lunk: "...okay, who ever though mutant CLAMS would be among the threats we'd face?"
Rook: "Clambake."
#SPITUI!#

SRoss wrote:a group of bikini clad girls come down to the beach.

Invid Princesses: "Ohhh, Lunky poo! Imagine meeting you here!"

Annie: "Umm ... Why is Lunk trying to crawl inside that clam?"

Ariel & Sera: (Popping Mentos) "Invid hive mind telepathy strikes again."

out in the deep water, one very big fish that isn't quite what it looks like is complaining very loudly over the Invid mindnet that just because something is big and full of teeth doesn't mean it is an ideal form, that female humans are the scariest things in the universe, and just who's bright idea was it to show Mother those old human films, anyway?

glitterboy2098 wrote:out in the deep water, one very big fish that isn't quite what it looks like is complaining very loudly over the Invid mindnet that just because something is big and full of teeth doesn't mean it is an ideal form, that female humans are the scariest things in the universe, and just who's bright idea was it to show Mother those old human films, anyway?

Sera: "Ariel, did Corg p*ss off Mom again?"

Meanwhile, deep in the jungle, Lancer is showering under a waterfall when he sees something...
Hastily he backs into the foliage.
"Think they saw you?"
"No, I don't think so-waitaminute."

glitterboy2098 wrote:out in the deep water, one very big fish that isn't quite what it looks like is complaining very loudly over the Invid mindnet that just because something is big and full of teeth doesn't mean it is an ideal form, that female humans are the scariest things in the universe, and just who's bright idea was it to show Mother those old human films, anyway?

Arnie100 wrote:

glitterboy2098 wrote:out in the deep water, one very big fish that isn't quite what it looks like is complaining very loudly over the Invid mindnet that just because something is big and full of teeth doesn't mean it is an ideal form, that female humans are the scariest things in the universe, and just who's bright idea was it to show Mother those old human films, anyway?

Sera: "Ariel, did Corg p*ss off Mom again?"

taalismn wrote:Meanwhile, deep in the jungle, Lancer is showering under a waterfall when he sees something...
Hastily he backs into the foliage.
"Think they saw you?"
"No, I don't think so-waitaminute."

taalismn wrote:Meanwhile, deep in the jungle, Lancer is showering under a waterfall when he sees something...
Hastily he backs into the foliage.
"Think they saw you?"
"No, I don't think so-waitaminute."

Lancer: "Lunk...what're you doing here?!"
Lunk: "Hiding."
Lancer: "From WHO??"
Invid Princesses: "Lunky-Poo...come out, come out wherever you are!!!"
Lancer: "Hold on....I'll distract them (runs over to the Princesses)...he's in there! (Points at the waterfall)"
Lunk: "NononoNO!!!"
Lancer: "That's for ruining my shower."

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Meanwhile, deep in the jungle, Lancer is showering under a waterfall when he sees something...
Hastily he backs into the foliage.
"Think they saw you?"
"No, I don't think so-waitaminute."

Lancer: "Lunk...what're you doing here?!"
Lunk: "Hiding."
Lancer: "From WHO??"
Invid Princesses: "Lunky-Poo...come out, come out wherever you are!!!"
Lancer: "Hold on....I'll distract them (runs over to the Princesses)...he's in there! (Points at the waterfall)"
Lunk: "NononoNO!!!"
Lancer: "That's for ruining my shower."

Chuckling to himself, Lancer started spraying his hair. Suddenly he noticed his hand was stuck to his hair... Looking down at his hairspray can.



Somewhere Lunk felt his revenge had been achieved.

Invid Princesses: "We just wanna wuv you, squueze you ---"
RATATATATATATATATATATATAT!!!!
Invid Princesses: (turns and runs in other direction)
Annie: "That's MY line...how could I miss with this thing (checking out her still-smoking machine gun)??"

Arnie100 wrote:Invid Princesses: "We just wanna wuv you, squueze you ---"
RATATATATATATATATATATATAT!!!!
Invid Princesses: (turns and runs in other direction)
Annie: "That's MY line...how could I miss with this thing (checking out her still-smoking machine gun)??"

Lunk, cringing in the middle of her beaten zone, quietly thanks God he replaced her ammo with blank rounds.

Rook: "So, how are we holding out?"
Scott: "Rand's deathly afraid of going near the water, Annie's running around the woods with a machine gun, Lunk's trying to get into witness protection despite that service having disappeared with the Invid Invasion, and Lancer's bald....as vacations go, we were better off when we were running for our lives from Invid patrols."

taalismn wrote:Rook: "So, how are we holding out?"
Scott: "Rand's deathly afraid of going near the water, Annie's running around the woods with a machine gun, Lunk's trying to get into witness protection despite that service having disappeared with the Invid Invasion, and Lancer's bald....as vacations go, we were better off when we were running for our lives from Invid patrols."

Edwards: "Hey you two! I couldn't help but overhear your troubles. Would you be willing to let me sublet your vacation?"

Khyron: "Me too micronian scum!!!"

SRoss wrote:Chuckling to himself, Lancer started spraying his hair. Suddenly he noticed his hand was stuck to his hair... Looking down at his hairspray can.

:eek: M.D.C. ARMOUR SPRAY

Somewhere Lunk felt his revenge had been achieved.

Arnie100 wrote:Invid Princesses: "We just wanna wuv you, squueze you ---"
RATATATATATATATATATATATAT!!!!
Invid Princesses: (turns and runs in other direction)
Annie: "That's MY line...how could I miss with this thing (checking out her still-smoking machine gun)??"

SRoss wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:Invid Princesses: "We just wanna wuv you, squueze you ---"
RATATATATATATATATATATATAT!!!!
Invid Princesses: (turns and runs in other direction)
Annie: "That's MY line...how could I miss with this thing (checking out her still-smoking machine gun)??"

Lunk, cringing in the middle of her beaten zone, quietly thanks God he replaced her ammo with blank rounds.

taalismn wrote:Rook: "So, how are we holding out?"
Scott: "Rand's deathly afraid of going near the water, Annie's running around the woods with a machine gun, Lunk's trying to get into witness protection despite that service having disappeared with the Invid Invasion, and Lancer's bald....as vacations go, we were better off when we were running for our lives from Invid patrols."

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:Rook: "So, how are we holding out?"
Scott: "Rand's deathly afraid of going near the water, Annie's running around the woods with a machine gun, Lunk's trying to get into witness protection despite that service having disappeared with the Invid Invasion, and Lancer's bald....as vacations go, we were better off when we were running for our lives from Invid patrols."

Edwards: "Hey you two! I couldn't help but overhear your troubles. Would you be willing to let me sublet your vacation?"

Khyron: "Me too micronian scum!!!"

GMP Officer: "Now let me understand, Mister Austin is it? WHY do you wish to be enrolled in Witness Protection?"
Lunk: (haunted look) "Because I've witnessed things and I need protection."
GMP: "What sort of things?"
Lunk: "Unspeakable things."
GMP: "Such as?"
Lunk: "if I spoke them they wouldn't be unspeakable, now would they?"
GMP: "Can you at least hint broadly?"
Lunk: "They involve women."
GMP: "Oh....do they involve vegetables?"
Lunk" "Uhm...maybe?"
GMP: "Cucumbers, perhaps?"
Lunk: "...ah..."
GMP: "What size cucumbers? And how many women are involved?"
Lunk: "Ah...aren't you sort of young to be asking these sorts of questions?"
GMP: "I'm a special agent, assigned to handle special cases like yours. All very confidential, just between you and me...Now, continue, what exactly do they do with the cucumbers and for how long? Was there music playing in the background?"
Lunk: "...ah..."
GMP Officer 2(busting into the interview room): "MOROBOSHI!!!!Where the hell is the Major's drycleaning?! What the hell are you doing in that uniform?! Take it off right this minute you little $%$^& and grab your mob and bucket and swab out the holding cells! Right now!!!! Or I forgo calling your probation officer and shoot you myself!!!"
GMP Officer(now revealed to be Ataru Moroboshi): "...ah...uhm...damnit, I never have any fun..."
Lunk: "... ..."

Lunk: "Geez...I was gonna tell 'em about the most awful salad I'd ever --"
(Door slams open...)
Invid Princesses: "Lunky-Poo...there you are!!"
(Lunk bails out the window)

Arnie100 wrote:Lunk: "Geez...I was gonna tell 'em about the most awful salad I'd ever --"
(Door slams open...)
Invid Princesses: "Lunky-Poo...there you are!!"
(Lunk bails out the window)

Actually...Lunk-shaped hole in wall.