Robotech Blooper Reels

[SRoss]

"Perhaps we should try a four-legged design for greater stability.."
"Tried that already, or do you NOT remember the out of control gallop into the farmers' market and the five trampled fruit stands?"

"Why are there always fruit carts where there's a high speed chase?"

[taalismn]

"Perhaps we should try a four-legged design for greater stability.."
"Tried that already, or do you NOT remember the out of control gallop into the farmers' market and the five trampled fruit stands?"

"Why are there always fruit carts where there's a high speed chase?"

"Basic Law of the Universe."
"Oh."

[Alpha 11]

"Perhaps we should try a four-legged design for greater stability.."
"Tried that already, or do you NOT remember the out of control gallop into the farmers' market and the five trampled fruit stands?"

"Why are there always fruit carts where there's a high speed chase?"

"Perhaps we should try a four-legged design for greater stability.."
"Tried that already, or do you NOT remember the out of control gallop into the farmers' market and the five trampled fruit stands?"

"Why are there always fruit carts where there's a high speed chase?"

"Basic Law of the Universe."
"Oh."

[taalismn]

"This reminds me of the time you designed a Veritech Car...and put in a manual shift..."
"Honest mistake."
"I mean, EVERYBODY springs for automatic these days-"
"Oh, shut up."

[Alpha 11]

"This reminds me of the time you designed a Veritech Car...and put in a manual shift..."
"Honest mistake."
"I mean, EVERYBODY springs for automatic these days-"
"Oh, shut up."

[taalismn]

"And the zero altitude ejection seat you put in the thing! Remember that-"
"SHUT UP!"
"-parking garage?

[SRoss]

"And the zero altitude ejection seat you put in the thing! Remember that-"
"SHUT UP!"
"-parking garage?

Flashback...

"Edwards! Stop being a wimp and pull the lever already!"

[Arnie100]

Capt. Gloval: "I still want to know who's going to pay for my car?!"
Roy: "You have a car?!"
Capt. Gloval: "Bozhe moi..."

[taalismn]

Flashback...

"Edwards! Stop being a wimp and pull the lever already!"

"At last we have a compromise on live animal testing of hardware that doesn't have the ASPCA picketing the Robotech Research Center!"

[Alpha 11]

"And the zero altitude ejection seat you put in the thing! Remember that-"
"SHUT UP!"
"-parking garage?

"And the zero altitude ejection seat you put in the thing! Remember that-"
"SHUT UP!"
"-parking garage?

Flashback...

"Edwards! Stop being a wimp and pull the lever already!"

Capt. Gloval: "I still want to know who's going to pay for my car?!"
Roy: "You have a car?!"
Capt. Gloval: "Bozhe moi..."

Flashback...

"Edwards! Stop being a wimp and pull the lever already!"

"At last we have a compromise on live animal testing of hardware that doesn't have the ASPCA picketing the Robotech Research Center!"

[taalismn]

"I always assumed Edwards lost his eye at Alaska Base."
"No, he lost his SANITY at Alaska Base. The ey's just irritated."
"How so?"
"Number 7746: Death by Chemical Exposure in a Cosmetics Testing Lab. Every night, Macross Cosmetics pays him a visit to squirt lip gloss in his eye."

[Alpha 11]

"I always assumed Edwards lost his eye at Alaska Base."
"No, he lost his SANITY at Alaska Base. The ey's just irritated."
"How so?"
"Number 7746: Death by Chemical Exposure in a Cosmetics Testing Lab. Every night, Macross Cosmetics pays him a visit to squirt lip gloss in his eye."

[taalismn]

"The other half of the time he wakes up screaming from nightmares of being abducted by aliens and probed."
"Lemme guess...they're not nightmares."

[Alpha 11]

"The other half of the time he wakes up screaming from nightmares of being abducted by aliens and probed."
"Lemme guess...they're not nightmares."

Surprised they haven't "thrown" him back.

[taalismn]

"The other half of the time he wakes up screaming from nightmares of being abducted by aliens and probed."
"Lemme guess...they're not nightmares."

Surprised they haven't "thrown" him back.

Because they're working their way up the 'Rotorooter' test list.
They're currently at 'House Pipe Snake', working up towards 'City Sewer Pipe Mole'.

[Alpha 11]

"The other half of the time he wakes up screaming from nightmares of being abducted by aliens and probed."
"Lemme guess...they're not nightmares."

Surprised they haven't "thrown" him back.

Because they're working their way up the 'Rotorooter' test list.
They're currently at 'House Pipe Snake', working up towards 'City Sewer Pipe Mole'.

[SRoss]

Hugh Mann: "Mother Regis!?! I don't understand, what do we hope to learn of the humans from this test?"

[Arnie100]

Hugh Mann: "Mother Regis!?! I don't understand, what do we hope to learn of the humans from this test?"

Regis: "Nothing. This one just seems particularly entertaining, that's all."

[taalismn]

Hugh Mann: "Mother Regis!?! I don't understand, what do we hope to learn of the humans from this test?"

Regis: "Nothing. This one just seems particularly entertaining, that's all."

"How high a note human vocal cords can hit in a scream."

[Arnie100]

Regis: "Let's see...take this...insert there... (Edwards screams like a girl)...I didn't know human males can hit that vocal range...fascinating..."
Edwards: (Sobbing) "What did I do to deserve this?!"
Regis: "From this letter I got, lots of things...let's see..."
Edwards: "NNNNNNNOOOOOOOO...not that, PLEASE!"
Regis: "It's not like you have a use for it... "

(Meanwhile...)

Rick: "What's that, hon?"
Lisa: "Number 7747...death by alien probing..."
Rick: "Remind me NEVER to get on your bad side!"

[taalismn]

Regis: "And here we have this thing called a 'garden weasel'..."
Edwards: "...oh gawd...."

[Arnie100]

Regis: "And here we have this thing called a 'garden weasel'..."
Edwards: "...oh gawd...."

Lisa: "Number 7748...and counting..."
Rick:

[taalismn]

Why Marcus Rush Gets Kicked In the Teeth:

"Say, nice breasts-I mean skulls!"

"Let's just skip to the fanservice scenes, okay?"

"If I didn't rescue you, I certainly couldn't expect reward sex from you, could I?"

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to summarily execute your Invid girlfriend, Scott."

"Because, Alex, I'm the angsty young hero, and you're the disposable buddy zero."

"You're still a virgin, aren't you, Nichols?"

"Oh, not cheap Cylon wannabees! Can't we have some REAL enemies?!"

""Great, my new commanding officer is a geriatric fatso."

"Oh, come on, Commander Taylor, we both know the combat veteran geezer gets it in order to clear the way for the fresh new young talent!"

"I'm too good looking to die."

"Hey, chicks DIG angsty young guys! I'll be a chick magnet!"

[Alpha 11]

Hugh Mann: "Mother Regis!?! I don't understand, what do we hope to learn of the humans from this test?"

If he's connected to the Invid, the race is doomed.

Hugh Mann: "Mother Regis!?! I don't understand, what do we hope to learn of the humans from this test?"

Regis: "Nothing. This one just seems particularly entertaining, that's all."

Hugh Mann: "Mother Regis!?! I don't understand, what do we hope to learn of the humans from this test?"

Regis: "Nothing. This one just seems particularly entertaining, that's all."

"How high a note human vocal cords can hit in a scream."

Regis: "Let's see...take this...insert there... (Edwards screams like a girl)...I didn't know human males can hit that vocal range...fascinating..."
Edwards: (Sobbing) "What did I do to deserve this?!"
Regis: "From this letter I got, lots of things...let's see..."
Edwards: "NNNNNNNOOOOOOOO...not that, PLEASE!"
Regis: "It's not like you have a use for it... "

(Meanwhile...)

Rick: "What's that, hon?"
Lisa: "Number 7747...death by alien probing..."
Rick: "Remind me NEVER to get on your bad side!"

Regis: "And here we have this thing called a 'garden weasel'..."
Edwards: "...oh gawd...."

Regis: "And here we have this thing called a 'garden weasel'..."
Edwards: "...oh gawd...."

Lisa: "Number 7748...and counting..."
Rick:

Why Marcus Rush Gets Kicked In the Teeth:

"Say, nice breasts-I mean skulls!"

"Let's just skip to the fanservice scenes, okay?"

"If I didn't rescue you, I certainly couldn't expect reward sex from you, could I?"

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to summarily execute your Invid girlfriend, Scott."

"Because, Alex, I'm the angsty young hero, and you're the disposable buddy zero."

"You're still a virgin, aren't you, Nichols?"

"Oh, not cheap Cylon wannabees! Can't we have some REAL enemies?!"

""Great, my new commanding officer is a geriatric fatso."

"Oh, come on, Commander Taylor, we both know the combat veteran geezer gets it in order to clear the way for the fresh new young talent!"

"I'm too good looking to die."

"Hey, chicks DIG angsty young guys! I'll be a chick magnet!"

[taalismn]

Scott Bernard: "Okay, so maybe showing those guys that guerilla warfare trick of how to turn a bottle of high-proof alcoholic beverage into a molotov cocktail in the middle of the officers' mess wasn't such a bright idea..."
Marcus Rush: ".....the -colors-..."
Louie: "Those are flash burns, Marcus..."

[SRoss]

Scott Bernard: "Okay, so maybe showing those guys that guerilla warfare trick of how to turn a bottle of high-proof alcoholic beverage into a molotov cocktail in the middle of the officers' mess wasn't such a bright idea..."
Marcus Rush: ".....the -colors-..."
Louie: "Those are flash burns, Marcus..."

Rook: "Where's Rand?"

Ariel: "Getting skin grafts."

[taalismn]

Scott Bernard: "Okay, so maybe showing those guys that guerilla warfare trick of how to turn a bottle of high-proof alcoholic beverage into a molotov cocktail in the middle of the officers' mess wasn't such a bright idea..."
Marcus Rush: ".....the -colors-..."
Louie: "Those are flash burns, Marcus..."

Rook: "Where's Rand?"

Ariel: "Getting skin grafts."

Scott: "Yeah, forgot who taught me that trick and what NOT to do."
(Flashback)
Rand: "Now, it's very important after you've lit the rag, not to hold it like this--wait, oh shi-"

[Arnie100]

(In sick bay...)

Dr. Grant: "Back again, Rand?"
Rand: "It wasn't my fault...REALLY!"
Dr. Grant: "Sure it wasn't...now lie back...this may actually hurt..."
Rand:

[taalismn]

(In sick bay...)

Dr. Grant: "Back again, Rand?"
Rand: "It wasn't my fault...REALLY!"
Dr. Grant: "Sure it wasn't...now lie back...this may actually hurt..."
Rand:

"Now, cough."
*KOFF*
"How long have you had this smoking problem?"
"I thought Lunk and Lancer had put all the smoldering stuff out!"
"No, I mean your smoking problem."
"I don't have a smoking problem! I have a bursting into flames problem!"

[Alpha 11]

Scott Bernard: "Okay, so maybe showing those guys that guerilla warfare trick of how to turn a bottle of high-proof alcoholic beverage into a molotov cocktail in the middle of the officers' mess wasn't such a bright idea..."
Marcus Rush: ".....the -colors-..."
Louie: "Those are flash burns, Marcus..."

Scott Bernard: "Okay, so maybe showing those guys that guerilla warfare trick of how to turn a bottle of high-proof alcoholic beverage into a molotov cocktail in the middle of the officers' mess wasn't such a bright idea..."
Marcus Rush: ".....the -colors-..."
Louie: "Those are flash burns, Marcus..."

Rook: "Where's Rand?"

Ariel: "Getting skin grafts."

Scott Bernard: "Okay, so maybe showing those guys that guerilla warfare trick of how to turn a bottle of high-proof alcoholic beverage into a molotov cocktail in the middle of the officers' mess wasn't such a bright idea..."
Marcus Rush: ".....the -colors-..."
Louie: "Those are flash burns, Marcus..."

Rook: "Where's Rand?"

Ariel: "Getting skin grafts."

Scott: "Yeah, forgot who taught me that trick and what NOT to do."
(Flashback)
Rand: "Now, it's very important after you've lit the rag, not to hold it like this--wait, oh shi-"

(In sick bay...)

Dr. Grant: "Back again, Rand?"
Rand: "It wasn't my fault...REALLY!"
Dr. Grant: "Sure it wasn't...now lie back...this may actually hurt..."
Rand:

(In sick bay...)

Dr. Grant: "Back again, Rand?"
Rand: "It wasn't my fault...REALLY!"
Dr. Grant: "Sure it wasn't...now lie back...this may actually hurt..."
Rand:

"Now, cough."
*KOFF*
"How long have you had this smoking problem?"
"I thought Lunk and Lancer had put all the smoldering stuff out!"
"No, I mean your smoking problem."
"I don't have a smoking problem! I have a bursting into flames problem!"

[taalismn]

"Just when I thought I was getting OUT of that whole 'getting set on fire for a laugh' scht-oooooowwwwwww!!!"
"What is it?"
"....my stitches...."
"I told you, Mister Rand, not to put strain on your Fourth Wall ability! You haven't healed up from the LAST time!"
"Well, if people would quit pulling it out and using it for themselves, I wouldn't have to be healing it all the time! Ow-ow-ow!"

[Alpha 11]

"Just when I thought I was getting OUT of that whole 'getting set on fire for a laugh' scht-oooooowwwwwww!!!"
"What is it?"
"....my stitches...."
"I told you, Mister Rand, not to put strain on your Fourth Wall ability! You haven't healed up from the LAST time!"
"Well, if people would quit pulling it out and using it for themselves, I wouldn't have to be healing it all the time! Ow-ow-ow!"

[taalismn]

Signs The Storyline Has Gone Off-Canon:

The Invid Invasion:
Regis(Upon landing on Earth) "Hi-yoh! We're looking for some Flowers! You wouldn't happen to have seen them, have you? Oh dear, your planet looks like it's been in a bit of a dust up! Looks like you've had a couple of planetary bombardments! Like those nasty mean Tirolians are so fond of! Oh, they were here too? What happened to them? You did? Well, good on you! Well, in the light of that, may we offer some advice about repairing the damage? You have some GREAT tips on using the Flower, seeing as it's already growing here! Fancy a cup of tea while we talk about this?"

[SRoss]

Signs The Storyline Has Gone Off-Canon:

The Invid Invasion:
Regis(Upon landing on Earth) "Hi-yoh! We're looking for some Flowers! You wouldn't happen to have seen them, have you? Oh dear, your planet looks like it's been in a bit of a dust up! Looks like you've had a couple of planetary bombardments! Like those nasty mean Tirolians are so fond of! Oh, they were here too? What happened to them? You did? Well, good on you! Well, in the light of that, may we offer some advice about repairing the damage? You have some GREAT tips on using the Flower, seeing as it's already growing here! Fancy a cup of tea while we talk about this?"

UEG Council: " "

[Alpha 11]

Signs The Storyline Has Gone Off-Canon:

The Invid Invasion:
Regis(Upon landing on Earth) "Hi-yoh! We're looking for some Flowers! You wouldn't happen to have seen them, have you? Oh dear, your planet looks like it's been in a bit of a dust up! Looks like you've had a couple of planetary bombardments! Like those nasty mean Tirolians are so fond of! Oh, they were here too? What happened to them? You did? Well, good on you! Well, in the light of that, may we offer some advice about repairing the damage? You have some GREAT tips on using the Flower, seeing as it's already growing here! Fancy a cup of tea while we talk about this?"

Signs The Storyline Has Gone Off-Canon:

The Invid Invasion:
Regis(Upon landing on Earth) "Hi-yoh! We're looking for some Flowers! You wouldn't happen to have seen them, have you? Oh dear, your planet looks like it's been in a bit of a dust up! Looks like you've had a couple of planetary bombardments! Like those nasty mean Tirolians are so fond of! Oh, they were here too? What happened to them? You did? Well, good on you! Well, in the light of that, may we offer some advice about repairing the damage? You have some GREAT tips on using the Flower, seeing as it's already growing here! Fancy a cup of tea while we talk about this?"

UEG Council: " "

[taalismn]

Regis: "And let's seal the deal with a few arranged marriages between my people and yours just to make it official. We'll send over a list of compatibility factors you can look for in your own people."

UEG Representative: "Ah...some of these people have are either already married or have registered plans to marry."
Regis: "We're open to multiple partner arrangements in the name of peace, cooperation, and interspecies harmony."
UEG Representative: "...this is highly unusual. People may not go for it."
Regis: "Well, the alternative is that we ruthlessly invade you. And since we own the high ground AND outnumber you..."
UEG Representative: "...We accept these terms."
Regis: "Good, good! You Terrans aren't as intolerant as those Tirolians, I see. You can learn! Jolly good!"

Scott Bernard: "....beg pardon? You're ordering me to WHAT?"
Marlene Rush: "...you're ordering him, no, US.....to WHAT?"

[SRoss]

Wasn't this a seventies sitcom?

[SRoss]

"Sorry Toombs, apparently even Invid females have their standards."

[taalismn]

Lunk: "....Not that I'm complaining about this holding peace with this new bunch of aliens, but why did a chill just run up and down my spine and then settle in my privates?"

Canon Blooper Lunk:"I just sensed that some other version of me is soon to be in about as much fear as I am. Poor freakin' sod."

[SRoss]

Corg: (being dragged off by Annie) "Surely this cannot be legal? She's just a child!!!"

Corg: "What do you mean, technically she's older than me so it's ok!?!"

[taalismn]

Corg: (being dragged off by Annie) "Surely this cannot be legal? She's just a child!!!"

Corg: "What do you mean, technically she's older than me so it's ok!?!"

Yep, sounds about right. In Peaceful Coexistence Invid Universe, Corg is a polite stickler for following Law and Regulation, not 'Kill Them All in the Name of Invid Supremacy'.
On the other hand, he's a right bastard for making people follow the letter of even minor laws(think; the Roman Latin Grammar Nazi from Life of Bryon)

[SRoss]

Regis: "And let's seal the deal with a few arranged marriages between my people and yours just to make it official. We'll send over a list of compatibility factors you can look for in your own people."

UEG Representative: "Ah...some of these people have are either already married or have registered plans to marry."
Regis: "We're open to multiple partner arrangements in the name of peace, cooperation, and interspecies harmony."
UEG Representative: "...this is highly unusual. People may not go for it."
Regis: "Well, the alternative is that we ruthlessly invade you. And since we own the high ground AND outnumber you..."
UEG Representative: "...We accept these terms."
Regis: "Good, good! You Terrans aren't as intolerant as those Tirolians, I see. You can learn! Jolly good!"

Scott Bernard: "....beg pardon? You're ordering me to WHAT?"
Marlene Rush: "...you're ordering him, no, US.....to WHAT?"

Alex: (High fives Marcus) "SCORE!!!"

[SRoss]

UEG Representative: "So uh, who do we marry off to the Regis?"

Everyone looks at Kyle...

[taalismn]

UEG Representative: "So uh, who do we marry off to the Regis?"

Everyone looks at Kyle...

Kyle: "Seeing as the big difference here is that the Regis is a nice lady and the Invid she brings to Earth are essentially galactic gardeners...I could be a very lucky man.
Conversely, if she's trying to escape an abusive marriage to a canonical Regent, then I am safely dead at the hands of T.R. Edwards."
Regent: "Honey? You sure you want this one? He looks a little scrawny. That Zor fellow had least had enough stamina to keep you happy!"
Kyle: "...And there's option number three, that the mean and nasty surprises just keep coming..."

[Alpha 11]

Regis: "And let's seal the deal with a few arranged marriages between my people and yours just to make it official. We'll send over a list of compatibility factors you can look for in your own people."

UEG Representative: "Ah...some of these people have are either already married or have registered plans to marry."
Regis: "We're open to multiple partner arrangements in the name of peace, cooperation, and interspecies harmony."
UEG Representative: "...this is highly unusual. People may not go for it."
Regis: "Well, the alternative is that we ruthlessly invade you. And since we own the high ground AND outnumber you..."
UEG Representative: "...We accept these terms."
Regis: "Good, good! You Terrans aren't as intolerant as those Tirolians, I see. You can learn! Jolly good!"

Scott Bernard: "....beg pardon? You're ordering me to WHAT?"
Marlene Rush: "...you're ordering him, no, US.....to WHAT?"

It will be an interesting honeymoon, is all I will say.

Wasn't this a seventies sitcom?

Would not be surprise if there was one.

"Sorry Toombs, apparently even Invid females have their standards."

Lunk: "....Not that I'm complaining about this holding peace with this new bunch of aliens, but why did a chill just run up and down my spine and then settle in my privates?"

Canon Blooper Lunk:"I just sensed that some other version of me is soon to be in about as much fear as I am. Poor freakin' sod."

Corg: (being dragged off by Annie) "Surely this cannot be legal? She's just a child!!!"

Corg: "What do you mean, technically she's older than me so it's ok!?!"

Corg: (being dragged off by Annie) "Surely this cannot be legal? She's just a child!!!"

Corg: "What do you mean, technically she's older than me so it's ok!?!"

Yep, sounds about right. In Peaceful Coexistence Invid Universe, Corg is a polite stickler for following Law and Regulation, not 'Kill Them All in the Name of Invid Supremacy'.
On the other hand, he's a right bastard for making people follow the letter of even minor laws(think; the Roman Latin Grammar Nazi from Life of Bryon)

Regis: "And let's seal the deal with a few arranged marriages between my people and yours just to make it official. We'll send over a list of compatibility factors you can look for in your own people."

UEG Representative: "Ah...some of these people have are either already married or have registered plans to marry."
Regis: "We're open to multiple partner arrangements in the name of peace, cooperation, and interspecies harmony."
UEG Representative: "...this is highly unusual. People may not go for it."
Regis: "Well, the alternative is that we ruthlessly invade you. And since we own the high ground AND outnumber you..."
UEG Representative: "...We accept these terms."
Regis: "Good, good! You Terrans aren't as intolerant as those Tirolians, I see. You can learn! Jolly good!"

Scott Bernard: "....beg pardon? You're ordering me to WHAT?"
Marlene Rush: "...you're ordering him, no, US.....to WHAT?"

Alex: (High fives Marcus) "SCORE!!!"

[Alpha 11]

UEG Representative: "So uh, who do we marry off to the Regis?"

Everyone looks at Kyle...

UEG Representative: "So uh, who do we marry off to the Regis?"

Everyone looks at Kyle...

Kyle: "Seeing as the big difference here is that the Regis is a nice lady and the Invid she brings to Earth are essentially galactic gardeners...I could be a very lucky man.
Conversely, if she's trying to escape an abusive marriage to a canonical Regent, then I am safely dead at the hands of T.R. Edwards."
Regent: "Honey? You sure you want this one? He looks a little scrawny. That Zor fellow had least had enough stamina to keep you happy!"
Kyle: "...And there's option number three, that the mean and nasty surprises just keep coming..."

[taalismn]

Rem: "I will NOT be the Regis's boytoy just so there's 'peace in our time'!!!!
Cabell: "Damn it, now you've gone and done it."
Rem: "What?!"
Cabell: "You've gone largely unmentioned in the pages of these bloopers. Nw you call attention to yourself."
Rem: "...uh-oh..."
Cabell: "You, a young handsome eligible bachelor, without the angst hang-ups of your clone sibling---where'd the little blighter go?"

[SRoss]

Jonathan Wolfe: (Approaching a group of Invid Princesses) "Heeeelllo ladies!"

Jonathan Wolfe: "Hey! How'd I end up naked in the arctic!?!"

[taalismn]

"Nice tea. What's in it?"
"Flower of Life."
"That's nice. What are you doing with my uniform buttons?"
"Making you comfortable."

[Alpha 11]

Rem: "I will NOT be the Regis's boytoy just so there's 'peace in our time'!!!!
Cabell: "Damn it, now you've gone and done it."
Rem: "What?!"
Cabell: "You've gone largely unmentioned in the pages of these bloopers. Nw you call attention to yourself."
Rem: "...uh-oh..."
Cabell: "You, a young handsome eligible bachelor, without the angst hang-ups of your clone sibling---where'd the little blighter go?"

Sealed his own fate.

Jonathan Wolfe: (Approaching a group of Invid Princesses) "Heeeelllo ladies!"

Jonathan Wolfe: "Hey! How'd I end up naked in the arctic!?!"

"Nice tea. What's in it?"
"Flower of Life."
"That's nice. What are you doing with my uniform buttons?"
"Making you comfortable."

So Rem, or someone else?