Robotech Blooper Reels

[taalismn]

Of course, as with SUVs, there's that problem of stepping in and out of a GMU. If you don't wait to deploy the ramps, that first step down to the curb's a doozy.

[wyrmraker]

Goodness. Seven years of posts, and I read them in just under a week. Always hysterical stuff. Makes me want to find a GM who's capable of running a halfway decent Robotech game.

[taalismn]

Goodness. Seven years of posts, and I read them in just under a week. Always hysterical stuff. Makes me want to find a GM who's capable of running a halfway decent Robotech game.

...and then rail at the GM because he doesn't allow you to perform any of the dumb stunts you're learned from this thread?

"So why CAN'T I up and kill T.R. Edwards with a barrage of kumquats?"
"BECAUSE YOU'RE SEVEN HUNDRED LIGHTYEARS FROM ANY FRUIT MARKET SELLING KUMQUATS!!!!"
"Huh! I just happen to have used part of my Pioneer Mission personal cargo allotment to carry a half-ton of kumquats along for the trip...."
"ARGGGHHHH!!! DID NOT!!!"
"Did too. I have the cargo bay ticket too.."

[SRoss]

Goodness. Seven years of posts, and I read them in just under a week. Always hysterical stuff. Makes me want to find a GM who's capable of running a halfway decent Robotech game.

...and then rail at the GM because he doesn't allow you to perform any of the dumb stunts you're learned from this thread?

"So why CAN'T I up and kill T.R. Edwards with a barrage of kumquats?"
"BECAUSE YOU'RE SEVEN HUNDRED LIGHTYEARS FROM ANY FRUIT MARKET SELLING KUMQUATS!!!!"
"Huh! I just happen to have used part of my Pioneer Mission personal cargo allotment to carry a half-ton of kumquats along for the trip...."
"ARGGGHHHH!!! DID NOT!!!"
"Did too. I have the cargo bay ticket too.."

Cargo Handler #1: "Munch! Mmmm, these are good Kumquats!"

Cargo Handler #2: "I know! Who'd of thought there'd be a half-ton of them in bay 3?"

[taalismn]

[
Cargo Handler #1: "Munch! Mmmm, these are good Kumquats!"

Cargo Handler #2: "I know! Who'd of thought there'd be a half-ton of them in bay 3?"

Yep, even in the future, in space, your luggage isn't safe from larcenous baggage-handlers.

Cargo Handler #1: "Eww...what's next?"
Cargo Handler #2: "Expensive looking traveling case. High end electronice, you think?"
Cargo Handler #1:"Open it up! Why there might be RABIDPOLLINATOAAEEEOOOOAAAIIIIEEEEEE!!!"

[Alpha 11]

Of course, as with SUVs, there's that problem of stepping in and out of a GMU. If you don't wait to deploy the ramps, that first step down to the curb's a doozy.

Like screaming, then taking a breath, then screaming before hitting the ground, right?

Goodness. Seven years of posts, and I read them in just under a week. Always hysterical stuff. Makes me want to find a GM who's capable of running a halfway decent Robotech game.

Ya, its been a blast! And don't worry, it will be around another 7 years or more.

Goodness. Seven years of posts, and I read them in just under a week. Always hysterical stuff. Makes me want to find a GM who's capable of running a halfway decent Robotech game.

...and then rail at the GM because he doesn't allow you to perform any of the dumb stunts you're learned from this thread?

"So why CAN'T I up and kill T.R. Edwards with a barrage of kumquats?"
"BECAUSE YOU'RE SEVEN HUNDRED LIGHTYEARS FROM ANY FRUIT MARKET SELLING KUMQUATS!!!!"
"Huh! I just happen to have used part of my Pioneer Mission personal cargo allotment to carry a half-ton of kumquats along for the trip...."
"ARGGGHHHH!!! DID NOT!!!"
"Did too. I have the cargo bay ticket too.."

Goodness. Seven years of posts, and I read them in just under a week. Always hysterical stuff. Makes me want to find a GM who's capable of running a halfway decent Robotech game.

...and then rail at the GM because he doesn't allow you to perform any of the dumb stunts you're learned from this thread?

"So why CAN'T I up and kill T.R. Edwards with a barrage of kumquats?"
"BECAUSE YOU'RE SEVEN HUNDRED LIGHTYEARS FROM ANY FRUIT MARKET SELLING KUMQUATS!!!!"
"Huh! I just happen to have used part of my Pioneer Mission personal cargo allotment to carry a half-ton of kumquats along for the trip...."
"ARGGGHHHH!!! DID NOT!!!"
"Did too. I have the cargo bay ticket too.."

Cargo Handler #1: "Munch! Mmmm, these are good Kumquats!"

Cargo Handler #2: "I know! Who'd of thought there'd be a half-ton of them in bay 3?"

[
Cargo Handler #1: "Munch! Mmmm, these are good Kumquats!"

Cargo Handler #2: "I know! Who'd of thought there'd be a half-ton of them in bay 3?"

Yep, even in the future, in space, your luggage isn't safe from larcenous baggage-handlers.

Cargo Handler #1: "Eww...what's next?"
Cargo Handler #2: "Expensive looking traveling case. High end electronice, you think?"
Cargo Handler #1:"Open it up! Why there might be RABIDPOLLINATOAAEEEOOOOAAAIIIIEEEEEE!!!"

[taalismn]

Lisa Hayes-Hunter picks up her luggage at baggage claim, gets to her booked apartment, zips open her case.
A ninja steps out of the attaché case, salutes her.
"Any trouble?"
"No, Lady."(as more ninjas start pulling steamer trunks and crates out of the attaché case behind him)"Only had to have a -discussion- with some baggage stevedores about proper handling of precious cargo."(He's cleaning some blood off his sword as he reports this)

Elsewhere.
Three guys are sitting in an infirmary, all of them heavily bandaged.
"So....gorilla?"
Man with bandages around neck: "...ninjas..."
Man next to him, missing one each of ears, eye, arm, and leg: "You?"
Man with bandaged hand, no fingers: "Rabid Pollinator."
"Where's your partner?"
"Infected. Had to put him out of his misery."

[Alpha 11]

Lisa Hayes-Hunter picks up her luggage at baggage claim, gets to her booked apartment, zips open her case.
A ninja steps out of the attaché case, salutes her.
"Any trouble?"
"No, Lady."(as more ninjas start pulling steamer trunks and crates out of the attaché case behind him)"Only had to have a -discussion- with some baggage stevedores about proper handling of precious cargo."(He's cleaning some blood off his sword as he reports this)

Elsewhere.
Three guys are sitting in an infirmary, all of them heavily bandaged.
"So....gorilla?"
Man with bandages around neck: "...ninjas..."
Man next to him, missing one each of ears, eye, arm, and leg: "You?"
Man with bandaged hand, no fingers: "Rabid Pollinator."
"Where's your partner?"
"Infected. Had to put him out of his misery."

[taalismn]

Minmei: "Damn baggage handlers! They lost my Pollinator!"

[Alpha 11]

Minmei: "Damn baggage handlers! They lost my Pollinator!"

[SRoss]

Minmei: "Damn baggage handlers! They lost my Pollinator!"

Musica: "Good news Karno! Your transfer out of Security has been approved."

Karno: "I'm Saved!"

Musica: "Report to Animal Control..."

Karno: "I'm Screwed!"

[glitterboy2098]

"Hello, my name is Sue Graham and I'm addicted to love."

"Not with my man you ain't!"

"Minmei, I thought we'd ironed out that particular problem long ago...."

ghost of Johnathan Wolfe : "i swear, i've never seen that reporter in my life!"

[taalismn]

Minmei: "I'd like to lodge a complaint about your spaceline's handling of my baggage. I got my Pollinator back, but it seems to no longer be rabid."
Spaceline Service Rep:(sweatdropping)( "...so much for the old substitution trick....")

[Alpha 11]

Minmei: "Damn baggage handlers! They lost my Pollinator!"

Musica: "Good news Karno! Your transfer out of Security has been approved."

Karno: "I'm Saved!"

Musica: "Report to Animal Control..."

Karno: "I'm Screwed!"

"Hello, my name is Sue Graham and I'm addicted to love."

"Not with my man you ain't!"

"Minmei, I thought we'd ironed out that particular problem long ago...."

ghost of Johnathan Wolfe : "i swear, i've never seen that reporter in my life!"

Minmei: "I'd like to lodge a complaint about your spaceline's handling of my baggage. I got my Pollinator back, but it seems to no longer be rabid."
Spaceline Service Rep:(sweatdropping)( "...so much for the old substitution trick....")

[taalismn]

Service Rep: "We have a rabid Lynn Kyle available as a replacement!"
Minmei: "Please. Where'd you think he got the rabies?"

[Alpha 11]

Service Rep: "We have a rabid Lynn Kyle available as a replacement!"
Minmei: "Please. Where'd you think he got the rabies?"

[SRoss]

Meanwhile, Edwards furtively opens a bus station type locker...

Edwards: "At last, this hidden stash will allow me to flee Hunter's wrath!"

The locker opens and the rabid Pollinator latches on to his face.

[taalismn]

Claudia: "How'd you know which locker was his?"
Lisa: "I didn't. I had rabid pollinators put in ALL of them."
Claudia: "...that's a lot of rabid pollinators..."


Animal Control: "....oh.my.god....."
Assistant: "That's it...#### the student loans...I'm quitting this job, effectively immediately..."

[Alpha 11]

Meanwhile, Edwards furtively opens a bus station type locker...

Edwards: "At last, this hidden stash will allow me to flee Hunter's wrath!"

The locker opens and the rabid Pollinator latches on to his face.

Claudia: "How'd you know which locker was his?"
Lisa: "I didn't. I had rabid pollinators put in ALL of them."
Claudia: "...that's a lot of rabid pollinators..."


Animal Control: "....oh.my.god....."
Assistant: "That's it...#### the student loans...I'm quitting this job, effectively immediately..."

[SRoss]

Things you'll never see in ROBOTECH

- Quadrono in miniskirts.

[taalismn]

]

Things you'll never see in ROBOTECH

Khyron in a kilt.

[Alpha 11]

Things you'll never see in ROBOTECH

- Quadrono in miniskirts.

]

Things you'll never see in ROBOTECH

Khyron in a kilt.

Need brain bleach please.

[taalismn]

Things you'll never see in ROBOTECH

Grel: "Let's all sing the Lumberjack Song!"

[Alpha 11]

Things you'll never see in ROBOTECH

Grel: "Let's all sing the Lumberjack Song!"

[taalismn]

Things you'll never see in ROBOTECH

"Hello, I'm Seto Kaiba. Please give, and give generously, to the 'Save Harmony Gold' kickstarter. The future of Robotech depends on it."

[SRoss]

Things you'll never see in ROBOTECH

- A redoing of the ROBOTECH series from start to finish with new animation, smoothing over all the plot-holes and inconsistencies created by stringing together three unrelated series.

[Chronicler]

Things you'll never see in ROBOTECH

- A redoing of the ROBOTECH series from start to finish with new animation, smoothing over all the plot-holes and inconsistencies created by stringing together three unrelated series.

A guy can dream.

[Alpha 11]

Things you'll never see in ROBOTECH

"Hello, I'm Seto Kaiba. Please give, and give generously, to the 'Save Harmony Gold' kickstarter. The future of Robotech depends on it."

And sad at the same time.

Things you'll never see in ROBOTECH

- A redoing of the ROBOTECH series from start to finish with new animation, smoothing over all the plot-holes and inconsistencies created by stringing together three unrelated series.

If only...

Things you'll never see in ROBOTECH

- A redoing of the ROBOTECH series from start to finish with new animation, smoothing over all the plot-holes and inconsistencies created by stringing together three unrelated series.

A guy can dream.

Yes he can.

[taalismn]

Things we wish for from ROBOTECH

*ringa-dingadingadingadingdingding*
"Hello-"
#B-ZARP!#

-Zentraedi Orbital Bombardment-Enforced Anti-Cellphone Zones

[Alpha 11]

Things we wish for from ROBOTECH

*ringa-dingadingadingadingdingding*
"Hello-"
#B-ZARP!#

-Zentraedi Orbital Bombardment-Enforced Anti-Cellphone Zones

[SRoss]

Things we wish for from ROBOTECH

- Fan Service episodes.

Lisa: "The last attack took out the central women's laundry. That's why we're all in swimsuits sir."

[Chronicler]

Things we wish for in ROBOTECH

New mecha designs:

Rick: "...... The hell is that?"

Pilot: "I don't know sir, but they call it a "Gamma Fighter"

Rick: "God if only we had better funds."

(note: don't like the design of the gamma fighter from what I've seen.)

[taalismn]

Things we wish for in ROBOTECH

New mecha designs:)

"How many new characters do we have?
"About seven."
"And how many new mecha designs?"
"Twenty-one."
"I like that ratio. It's a good start."

[Chronicler]

In an alt universe unforeseen consequences have happened due to a certain Lang Initiative. The mass cloning of T.R. Edwards.

Edwards: "Dr. Lang, can I ask you why I've seen myself all day around the base?"

Lang: "Ah, good to see you've noticed my latest project. You see after the rain of death the U.E.D.F has been short staffed. Command wanted me to do a "quick fix" to that problem."

Edwards: "So you made carbon-copes of me without my permission. Why me?"

Lang: "You metaphorically pulled the short straw in the randomizer, and it would have taken a long time to create unique people in the blender. So since your D.N.A and brain maps where already in the system it looked like the best option. Command is glad that we have cheap cannon-fodder now."

Edwards: "LANG "

Lang: "I like to call them the model T.R. "

Elsewhere:

Marine: "You know how the commander always said he be everywhere watching us after that prank?"

Marine Buddy: "Yeah?"

Marine: "I think he took it to far "

[taalismn]

"T.R."= "Target Running"

[Alpha 11]

Things we wish for from ROBOTECH

- Fan Service episodes.

Lisa: "The last attack took out the central women's laundry. That's why we're all in swimsuits sir."

Things we wish for in ROBOTECH

New mecha designs:

Rick: "...... The hell is that?"

Pilot: "I don't know sir, but they call it a "Gamma Fighter"

Rick: "God if only we had better funds."

(note: don't like the design of the gamma fighter from what I've seen.)

I actually thought it looked good myself.

Things we wish for in ROBOTECH

New mecha designs:)

"How many new characters do we have?
"About seven."
"And how many new mecha designs?"
"Twenty-one."
"I like that ratio. It's a good start."

In an alt universe unforeseen consequences have happened due to a certain Lang Initiative. The mass cloning of T.R. Edwards.

Edwards: "Dr. Lang, can I ask you why I've seen myself all day around the base?"

Lang: "Ah, good to see you've noticed my latest project. You see after the rain of death the U.E.D.F has been short staffed. Command wanted me to do a "quick fix" to that problem."

Edwards: "So you made carbon-copes of me without my permission. Why me?"

Lang: "You metaphorically pulled the short straw in the randomizer, and it would have taken a long time to create unique people in the blender. So since your D.N.A and brain maps where already in the system it looked like the best option. Command is glad that we have cheap cannon-fodder now."

Edwards: "LANG "

Lang: "I like to call them the model T.R. "

Elsewhere:

Marine: "You know how the commander always said he be everywhere watching us after that prank?"

Marine Buddy: "Yeah?"

Marine: "I think he took it to far "

"T.R."= "Target Running"

[taalismn]

"What I can't understand is why -we- don't get any scenes in this thread?! It's not like we were canon'ed out of the series, Karen, we both showed up in Prelude to the Shadow Chronicles!"
"Jack, shut up. We're hiding under this bed for a reason."

[Chronicler]

Why Pollinators where on earth before the Masters even arrived:

Lab Assist: "Hey Lang, I've been going over the data from the SDF-1's computers again and you will not believe what I found."

*both look at the computer*

Dr. Lang: "A D.N.A sequence?"

L.A.: "Yeah. Says here the creature is called a "Pollinator"."

Dr. Lang: "So what kind of a animal is it?"

L.A.: "All it said was that it was fluffy."

Dr. Lang: "Eh, fire up the machine and lets see what comes out."

*one week later*

Lisa: "What the hell were you two thinking!?!"

Lang and L.A: "We only made 20."

Lisa: "There are thousands of the damn things in the city!"

Lang: "I don't know how they got out in the first place! One night they were there and the next thing I know they vanished!"

*That night*

Female Intern: "Oh you guys are so cute! I could just take you home."

*thinks*

F.I.: "......"

*back to present*

Rick: "Lisa, just got the reports from the aerial recon team. They said that large groups of them are heading out of the city, only they are heading in the direction of New Macross."

Lisa: "I wonder why?"

[SRoss]

Edwards: "Ha! They'll never find me out here. What's that rumbling?"

Edwards is trampled by a Pollinator stampede.

[Arnie100]

Edwards: "Ha! They'll never find me out here. What's that rumbling?"

Edwards is trampled by a Pollinator stampede.

Edwards: "No; Kyle! Don't" (Seeing Kyle trying to pick up a Pollinator...)
Kyle: "Really, Edwards, they're such cute little -- AAAAIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

(....Suddenly, the Pollinator Horde attacks!)

Kyle: "GetthemOFFGETTHEMOFF!!!""

(A pair of BSS Troopers arrive on the scene...)

BSS Trooper: "What the --?!"
BSS Sergeant: "Look, they're doing our job for us! They're cleaning up the garbage!"
BSS Trooper: "I do believe that's Kyle and Edwards, Sir!"
BSS Sergeant: (On the radio...)"Yes, Ma'am...operation a success!"

(Meanwhile...)

Rick: "Wow, that's crazy...Kyle and Edwards...again! Have you heard, Lisa?"
Lisa:
Rick: "I...think I'll find something to do..."

[Seto Kaiba]

Things you'll never see in ROBOTECH

"Hello, I'm Seto Kaiba. Please give, and give generously, to the 'Save Harmony Gold' kickstarter. The future of Robotech depends on it."

Rather surprised to see my name dropped here, especially since I don't participate in the thread... but I can't find any fault with its accuracy.

In the infinitely unlikely event you ever see something like that happen, IMMEDIATELY consult your preferred religious institution... because that's definitely a sign that the end of the world is nigh. Other warning signs of this calamity are said to be plagues of frogs and locusts, rains of blood and fire, Kanye West realizing that the world thinks he's a prat, and Skrillix releasing an album that doesn't sound like an autotuned moose dying of asphyxiation in a tin bathtub.

[Chronicler]

Why we haven't seen Pollinators in New Generation:

The Regess: "Now that the world is ours and little resistance remains we shall set up our main hive her...*"

*Pollinator walks up*

Pollinator: "......"

Regess: "...... Well arn't you the cutest thing here. Oh and there's more of you!"

*Pollinators start to come to The Regess*

Regess: "I must have you."

*years latter*

Sera: "Let me get this straight mother. You invested the first year of your time here collecting all of these fluffy creatures?"

Regess: "Yes. I even have a Genesis Pit all devoted to them. Want one? "

[taalismn]

Things you'll never see in ROBOTECH

"Hello, I'm Seto Kaiba. Please give, and give generously, to the 'Save Harmony Gold' kickstarter. The future of Robotech depends on it."

Rather surprised to see my name dropped here, especially since I don't participate in the thread... but I can't find any fault with its accuracy.

In the infinitely unlikely event you ever see something like that happen, IMMEDIATELY consult your preferred religious institution... because that's definitely a sign that the end of the world is nigh. Other warning signs of this calamity are said to be plagues of frogs and locusts, rains of blood and fire, Kanye West realizing that the world thinks he's a prat, and Skrillix releasing an album that doesn't sound like an autotuned moose dying of asphyxiation in a tin bathtub.

Nah, I'd just suspect drugs were involved and would alert the narcs.

[taalismn]

Why we haven't seen Pollinators in New Generation: "

Yes, the Regis is the equivalent of a Crazy Cat Woman.

[SRoss]

Pollinator (noun): ROBOTECH's answer to the Tribble.

[Arnie100]

Pollinator (noun): ROBOTECH's answer to the Tribble.

True nemesis of the Zentraedi.

[taalismn]

Pollinator (noun): ROBOTECH's answer to the Tribble.

Dana: "It likes you, Angelo(Pollinator purrs)...and it likes you, Nova(Pollinator purrs)...It even likes you, Field Marshal Leonard(Pollinator purrs)...well, I guess there's no accounting for taste...(Pollinator goes berserk)but it it doesn't like YOU, Zor. I wonder why that is?"
Zor: "Get that thing away from me!"

[Arnie100]

Zor: "I confess!! I've been thinking about...Nova!"
Dana: "I KNEW it!"
Nova: "Yes! I'm hotter then Dana!" (Fist pump)

[SRoss]

The REAL reason raids on Protoculture Farms fail

Resistance Fighter #1: "Alright, we're almost through the field to the main camp. Absolute quiet is the key to pulling this off."

Resistance Fighter #2: (Finding a Pollinator) "AAAAAAWWWW! AIN'T YOU THE CUTEST WITTLE THING!"

Resistance Fighter #1:

[taalismn]

The REAL reason raids on Protoculture Farms fail

Resistance Fighter #1: "Alright, we're almost through the field to the main camp. Absolute quiet is the key to pulling this off."

Resistance Fighter #2: (Finding a Pollinator) "AAAAAAWWWW! AIN'T YOU THE CUTEST WITTLE THING!"

Resistance Fighter #1:

Col. Wolff:(Facepalming)"That's the real problem with the new military...utter bunch of wusses..."