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taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:

The REAL reason raids on Protoculture Farms fail

Resistance Fighter #1: "Alright, we're almost through the field to the main camp. Absolute quiet is the key to pulling this off."

Resistance Fighter #2: (Finding a Pollinator) "AAAAAAWWWW! AIN'T YOU THE CUTEST WITTLE THING!"

Resistance Fighter #1:

Col. Wolff:(Facepalming)"That's the real problem with the new military...utter bunch of wusses..."

Notice how the first fighter was a chick and the second a dude.

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:

The REAL reason raids on Protoculture Farms fail

Resistance Fighter #1: "Alright, we're almost through the field to the main camp. Absolute quiet is the key to pulling this off."

Resistance Fighter #2: (Finding a Pollinator) "AAAAAAWWWW! AIN'T YOU THE CUTEST WITTLE THING!"

Resistance Fighter #1:

Col. Wolff:(Facepalming)"That's the real problem with the new military...utter bunch of wusses..."

Regis: "Get back in here little man. You said if you lost you'd rock my world. Formerly yours."

SRoss wrote:[

Regis: "Get back in here little man. You said if you lost you'd rock my world. Formerly yours."

"How about if I just sell out my own army in return for beer and pizza?"

Edwards: "Dude, I held out for a couch to crash on and free parking!"

taalismn wrote:"What I can't understand is why -we- don't get any scenes in this thread?! It's not like we were canon'ed out of the series, Karen, we both showed up in Prelude to the Shadow Chronicles!"
"Jack, shut up. We're hiding under this bed for a reason."

Chronicler wrote:Why Pollinators where on earth before the Masters even arrived:

Lab Assist: "Hey Lang, I've been going over the data from the SDF-1's computers again and you will not believe what I found."

*both look at the computer*

Dr. Lang: "A D.N.A sequence?"

L.A.: "Yeah. Says here the creature is called a "Pollinator"."

Dr. Lang: "So what kind of a animal is it?"

L.A.: "All it said was that it was fluffy."

Dr. Lang: "Eh, fire up the machine and lets see what comes out."

*one week later*

Lisa: "What the hell were you two thinking!?!"

Lang and L.A: "We only made 20."

Lisa: "There are thousands of the damn things in the city!"

Lang: "I don't know how they got out in the first place! One night they were there and the next thing I know they vanished!"

*That night*

Female Intern: "Oh you guys are so cute! I could just take you home."

*thinks*

F.I.: "......"

*back to present*

Rick: "Lisa, just got the reports from the aerial recon team. They said that large groups of them are heading out of the city, only they are heading in the direction of New Macross."

Lisa: "I wonder why?"

SRoss wrote:Edwards: "Ha! They'll never find me out here. What's that rumbling?"

Edwards is trampled by a Pollinator stampede.

Arnie100 wrote:

SRoss wrote:Edwards: "Ha! They'll never find me out here. What's that rumbling?"

Edwards is trampled by a Pollinator stampede.

Edwards: "No; Kyle! Don't" (Seeing Kyle trying to pick up a Pollinator...)
Kyle: "Really, Edwards, they're such cute little -- AAAAIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

(....Suddenly, the Pollinator Horde attacks!)

Kyle: "GetthemOFFGETTHEMOFF!!!""

(A pair of BSS Troopers arrive on the scene...)

BSS Trooper: "What the --?!"
BSS Sergeant: "Look, they're doing our job for us! They're cleaning up the garbage!"
BSS Trooper: "I do believe that's Kyle and Edwards, Sir!"
BSS Sergeant: (On the radio...)"Yes, Ma'am...operation a success!"

(Meanwhile...)

Rick: "Wow, that's crazy...Kyle and Edwards...again! Have you heard, Lisa?"
Lisa:
Rick: "I...think I'll find something to do..."

Seto Kaiba wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Things you'll never see in ROBOTECH

"Hello, I'm Seto Kaiba. Please give, and give generously, to the 'Save Harmony Gold' kickstarter. The future of Robotech depends on it."

Rather surprised to see my name dropped here, especially since I don't participate in the thread... but I can't find any fault with its accuracy.

In the infinitely unlikely event you ever see something like that happen, IMMEDIATELY consult your preferred religious institution... because that's definitely a sign that the end of the world is nigh. Other warning signs of this calamity are said to be plagues of frogs and locusts, rains of blood and fire, Kanye West realizing that the world thinks he's a prat, and Skrillix releasing an album that doesn't sound like an autotuned moose dying of asphyxiation in a tin bathtub.

Chronicler wrote:Why we haven't seen Pollinators in New Generation:

The Regess: "Now that the world is ours and little resistance remains we shall set up our main hive her...*"

*Pollinator walks up*

Pollinator: "......"

Regess: "...... Well arn't you the cutest thing here. Oh and there's more of you!"

*Pollinators start to come to The Regess*

Regess: "I must have you."

*years latter*

Sera: "Let me get this straight mother. You invested the first year of your time here collecting all of these fluffy creatures?"

Regess: "Yes. I even have a Genesis Pit all devoted to them. Want one? "

taalismn wrote:

Seto Kaiba wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Things you'll never see in ROBOTECH

"Hello, I'm Seto Kaiba. Please give, and give generously, to the 'Save Harmony Gold' kickstarter. The future of Robotech depends on it."

Rather surprised to see my name dropped here, especially since I don't participate in the thread... but I can't find any fault with its accuracy.

In the infinitely unlikely event you ever see something like that happen, IMMEDIATELY consult your preferred religious institution... because that's definitely a sign that the end of the world is nigh. Other warning signs of this calamity are said to be plagues of frogs and locusts, rains of blood and fire, Kanye West realizing that the world thinks he's a prat, and Skrillix releasing an album that doesn't sound like an autotuned moose dying of asphyxiation in a tin bathtub.

Nah, I'd just suspect drugs were involved and would alert the narcs.

taalismn wrote:

Chronicler wrote:Why we haven't seen Pollinators in New Generation: "

Yes, the Regis is the equivalent of a Crazy Cat Woman.

SRoss wrote:Pollinator (noun): ROBOTECH's answer to the Tribble.

Arnie100 wrote:

SRoss wrote:Pollinator (noun): ROBOTECH's answer to the Tribble.

True nemesis of the Zentraedi.

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:Pollinator (noun): ROBOTECH's answer to the Tribble.

Dana: "It likes you, Angelo(Pollinator purrs)...and it likes you, Nova(Pollinator purrs)...It even likes you, Field Marshal Leonard(Pollinator purrs)...well, I guess there's no accounting for taste...(Pollinator goes berserk)but it it doesn't like YOU, Zor. I wonder why that is?"
Zor: "Get that thing away from me!"

Arnie100 wrote:Zor: "I confess!! I've been thinking about...Nova!"
Dana: "I KNEW it!"
Nova: "Yes! I'm hotter then Dana!" (Fist pump)

SRoss wrote:

The REAL reason raids on Protoculture Farms fail

Resistance Fighter #1: "Alright, we're almost through the field to the main camp. Absolute quiet is the key to pulling this off."

Resistance Fighter #2: (Finding a Pollinator) "AAAAAAWWWW! AIN'T YOU THE CUTEST WITTLE THING!"

Resistance Fighter #1:

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:

The REAL reason raids on Protoculture Farms fail

Resistance Fighter #1: "Alright, we're almost through the field to the main camp. Absolute quiet is the key to pulling this off."

Resistance Fighter #2: (Finding a Pollinator) "AAAAAAWWWW! AIN'T YOU THE CUTEST WITTLE THING!"

Resistance Fighter #1:

Col. Wolff:(Facepalming)"That's the real problem with the new military...utter bunch of wusses..."

Chronicler wrote:

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:

The REAL reason raids on Protoculture Farms fail

Resistance Fighter #1: "Alright, we're almost through the field to the main camp. Absolute quiet is the key to pulling this off."

Resistance Fighter #2: (Finding a Pollinator) "AAAAAAWWWW! AIN'T YOU THE CUTEST WITTLE THING!"

Resistance Fighter #1:

Col. Wolff:(Facepalming)"That's the real problem with the new military...utter bunch of wusses..."

Notice how the first fighter was a chick and the second a dude.

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:

The REAL reason raids on Protoculture Farms fail

Resistance Fighter #1: "Alright, we're almost through the field to the main camp. Absolute quiet is the key to pulling this off."

Resistance Fighter #2: (Finding a Pollinator) "AAAAAAWWWW! AIN'T YOU THE CUTEST WITTLE THING!"

Resistance Fighter #1:

Col. Wolff:(Facepalming)"That's the real problem with the new military...utter bunch of wusses..."

Regis: "Get back in here little man. You said if you lost you'd rock my world. Formerly yours."

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:[

Regis: "Get back in here little man. You said if you lost you'd rock my world. Formerly yours."

"How about if I just sell out my own army in return for beer and pizza?"

Edwards: "Dude, I held out for a couch to crash on and free parking!"

Okay debating whether or not to make Dr. Lang a mad scientist in my fan project. Basically what I've been portraying him in this thread.

Dr. Lang: "Ever since the Rain of Death the U.E.G let me of the leash "

Lisa: "And I've regret it to this day. "

OK editing this later on my computer cuts my tablet is auto correcting

Edit 2: done.

Chronicler wrote:Okay debating whether or not to make Dr. Lang a mad scientist in my fan project. Basically what I've been portraying him in this thread.

Dr. Lang: "Ever since the Rain of Death the U.E.G let me of the leash "

Lisa: "And I've regret it to this day.

Lang: "There was absolutely nothing wrong with the Veritech Submarine concept."
Lisa: "Except you presented it TO THE WRONG UNIVERSE!!!"
Lang: "They were German, and under attack by alien invaders, that's what mattered."

Chronicler wrote:Okay debating whether or not to make Dr. Lang a mad scientist in my fan project. Basically what I've been portraying him in this thread.

Dr. Lang: "Ever since the Rain of Death the U.E.G let me of the leash "

Lisa: "And I've regret it to this day. "

OK editing this later on my computer cuts my tablet is auto correcting

Edit 2: done.

You've never noticed that Lang IS a mad scientist???

Arnie100 wrote:

Chronicler wrote:Okay debating whether or not to make Dr. Lang a mad scientist in my fan project. Basically what I've been portraying him in this thread.

Dr. Lang: "Ever since the Rain of Death the U.E.G let me of the leash "

Lisa: "And I've regret it to this day. "

OK editing this later on my computer cuts my tablet is auto correcting

Edit 2: done.

You've never noticed that Lang IS a mad scientist???

I think my definition of mad science is different from yours. I'm talking weird science meeting dumb science (like Krieger from Archer).

Dr. Lang: "Ok, I don't know exactly what this machine would do. I'm hoping it will speed cloning production. It's powered by twelve protoculture generators, it's giving off high energy signatures, it vibrates, and runs on windows vista. Alright goggles! Hit it!

Arnie100 wrote:[

You've never noticed that Lang IS a mad scientist???

One of his early discoveries was a way to keep his hair under control and avoid the 'MadSciFro'.
Mainly because he makes sure he's well-grounded whenever he's working around high voltage.

Chronicler wrote:Okay debating whether or not to make Dr. Lang a mad scientist in my fan project. Basically what I've been portraying him in this thread.

Dr. Lang: "Ever since the Rain of Death the U.E.G let me of the leash "

Lisa: "And I've regret it to this day. "

OK editing this later on my computer cuts my tablet is auto correcting

Edit 2: done.

Arnie100 wrote:

Chronicler wrote:Okay debating whether or not to make Dr. Lang a mad scientist in my fan project. Basically what I've been portraying him in this thread.

Dr. Lang: "Ever since the Rain of Death the U.E.G let me of the leash "

Lisa: "And I've regret it to this day. "

OK editing this later on my computer cuts my tablet is auto correcting

Edit 2: done.

You've never noticed that Lang IS a mad scientist???

Chronicler wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:

Chronicler wrote:Okay debating whether or not to make Dr. Lang a mad scientist in my fan project. Basically what I've been portraying him in this thread.

Dr. Lang: "Ever since the Rain of Death the U.E.G let me of the leash "

Lisa: "And I've regret it to this day. "

OK editing this later on my computer cuts my tablet is auto correcting

Edit 2: done.

You've never noticed that Lang IS a mad scientist???

I think my definition of mad science is different from yours. I'm talking weird science meeting dumb science (like Krieger from Archer).

Dr. Lang: "Ok, I don't know exactly what this machine would do. I'm hoping it will speed cloning production. It's powered by twelve protoculture generators, it's giving off high energy signatures, it vibrates, and runs on windows vista. Alright goggles! Hit it!

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:[

You've never noticed that Lang IS a mad scientist???

One of his early discoveries was a way to keep his hair under control and avoid the 'MadSciFro'.
Mainly because he makes sure he's well-grounded whenever he's working around high voltage.

Lang: "But I can still SNAP on a pair of rubber gloves with the best of 'em!"

taalismn wrote:Lang: "But I can still SNAP on a pair of rubber gloves with the best of 'em!"

Dr. Lang: "Well my accelerator worked.... Just too well."

Lab tech: "I have never seen a person go from fetus to dust in ten seconds "

Chronicler wrote:Dr. Lang: "Well my accelerator worked.... Just too well."

Lab tech: "I have never seen a person go from fetus to dust in ten seconds "

Lang: "Not to worry, folks. We were only using T.R.'s back-up clone stock for this experiment."

Edwards: "QUIT ABUSING MY DNA!!!!!!"

Lang: "ABUSE your DNA any way I see fit? Why thank you!"
Edwards:

"What's with the Zentraedi battlecruiser on the front lawn of your research center campus, Doctor Lang?"
"That isn't a spacecraft...that's the result of my Applied Protoculture Chamber Vegetation Experiment."
"You mean-?"
"It's a cucumber, okay? We had to use capital ship laser batteries to cut up the eggplant."

"And what the hell is that red thing the size of a building?! It' looks like a -- "
"Tomato?"
"And that -- "
"Cabbage."
"What is this place?!"
"My vegetable garden!"

"And the second Robotech Factory in orbit?"
"Turnip."
"And the THIRD?"
"Pumpkin."
"So that's what Ensign Van Pelt was screaming about..."

"Doctor Lang! You realize elementary chaos theory states that all genetically modified fruits and vegetables will mutate into killer monsters, right!?!"

Meanwhile... On the Mothership...

Karno: "Where'd all these tomatoes come from?"

Chronicler wrote:Dr. Lang: "Well my accelerator worked.... Just too well."

Lab tech: "I have never seen a person go from fetus to dust in ten seconds "

taalismn wrote:

Chronicler wrote:Dr. Lang: "Well my accelerator worked.... Just too well."

Lab tech: "I have never seen a person go from fetus to dust in ten seconds "

Lang: "Not to worry, folks. We were only using T.R.'s back-up clone stock for this experiment."

Edwards: "QUIT ABUSING MY DNA!!!!!!"

Arnie100 wrote:Lang: "ABUSE your DNA any way I see fit? Why thank you!"
Edwards:

taalismn wrote:"What's with the Zentraedi battlecruiser on the front lawn of your research center campus, Doctor Lang?"
"That isn't a spacecraft...that's the result of my Applied Protoculture Chamber Vegetation Experiment."
"You mean-?"
"It's a cucumber, okay? We had to use capital ship laser batteries to cut up the eggplant."

Arnie100 wrote:"And what the hell is that red thing the size of a building?! It' looks like a -- "
"Tomato?"
"And that -- "
"Cabbage."
"What is this place?!"
"My vegetable garden!"

taalismn wrote:"And the second Robotech Factory in orbit?"
"Turnip."
"And the THIRD?"
"Pumpkin."
"So that's what Ensign Van Pelt was screaming about..."

SRoss wrote:"Doctor Lang! You realize elementary chaos theory states that all genetically modified fruits and vegetables will mutate into killer monsters, right!?!"

Meanwhile... On the Mothership...

Karno: "Where'd all these tomatoes come from?"

Terminator: "What's a tomato?"
Karno: "A human vegetable...there's so many...and they're so BIG-- AAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! (The horde of tomatoes suddenly attack Karno!!)"
Terminator: "Attacked by a vegetable...that's a new one...must inform Mistress Musicaa of this!"
Karno: "HELP...MEE!"

The new name of terror is...Kumquats.

Arnie100 wrote:Terminator: "What's a tomato?"
Karno: "A human vegetable...there's so many...and they're so BIG-- AAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! (The horde of tomatoes suddenly attack Karno!!)"
Terminator: "Attacked by a vegetable...that's a new one...must inform Mistress Musicaa of this!"
Karno: "HELP...MEE!"

taalismn wrote:The new name of terror is...Kumquats.

Bunch of Tirolian soldiers marching through a corn field on their way to attack Monument City.
Cue 'Jaws' music...

taalismn wrote:Bunch of Tirolian soldiers marching through a corn field on their way to attack Monument City.
Cue 'Jaws' music...

BSS Trooper: "What happened to these guys?!"
BSS Sergeant: "Scarecrow..."
BSS Trooper: "Wuuuutttt....Are those..."
BSS Sergeant: "Stuck up their...yup."
BSS Trooper:

BSS Lieutenant: "Okay, this is Tactical Corps' job, not us. We're not proctologists..."

taalismn wrote:Bunch of Tirolian soldiers marching through a corn field on their way to attack Monument City.
Cue 'Jaws' music...

Or the seen from Jurassic Part 2, in the high grass.

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Bunch of Tirolian soldiers marching through a corn field on their way to attack Monument City.
Cue 'Jaws' music...

BSS Trooper: "What happened to these guys?!"
BSS Sergeant: "Scarecrow..."
BSS Trooper: "Wuuuutttt....Are those..."
BSS Sergeant: "Stuck up their...yup."
BSS Trooper:

taalismn wrote:BSS Lieutenant: "Okay, this is Tactical Corps' job, not us. We're not proctologists..."

Sokol(one of Karno's brothers): "This reminds me of when we were dating the Muses..."
Darsis: "...don't remind -me-..."
(Both are impaled up the----- on scarecrows)

taalismn wrote:Sokol(one of Karno's brothers): "This reminds me of when we were dating the Muses..."
Darsis: "...don't remind -me-..."
(Both are impaled up the----- on scarecrows)

Sokol: "Well...at least it can't get any wor-"
Darsis: "DON'T SA-"
*KRAK-A-LIGHTNING*
%BONEGLOW%
#ROLLATHUNDA#
Sokol:(smoking) "..that too...reminds me of our dates with the Muses..."
Darsis: (smouldering)"...just...shut....up..."

taalismn wrote:Sokol: "Well...at least it can't get any wor-"
Darsis: "DON'T SA-"
*KRAK-A-LIGHTNING*
%BONEGLOW%
#ROLLATHUNDA#
Sokol:(smoking) "..that too...reminds me of our dates with the Muses..."
Darsis: (smouldering)"...just...shut....up..."

Jack Baker: "I really don't see what those guys' problem is; for me and Karen, that's FOREPLAY."
Karen: "HEADS UP, MORON!"
DAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKA
(Jack dives aside as automatic grenade fire chews up the table he was sitting at)
Jack: "She must be really tired tonight; she usually doesn't give me a warning."

Rick: (In a leather harness, sword in hand) "Lisa?"

Lisa: (Ditto, lunging and tackling Rick to the furs) "FOR HELIUM!!!"

SRoss wrote:Rick: (In a leather harness, sword in hand) "Lisa?"

Lisa: (Ditto, lunging and tackling Rick to the furs) "FOR HELIUM!!!"

Funny..I was just rereading that this afternoon.

"To be honest, Roy, the first time we'd made out, I'd just carved my way through several dozen Zodangans when I busted into the room where she'd been dragged, and she'd strangled a odwar with her chains and fractured the pelvises of two dwar adjutants with kicks to the groin. And she'd managed to shoot the jeddak with his own pistol. There we were, covered in blood, staring at each other..."

"Rick, I don't need to know any more. In fact, that's more than I wanted to know, period."

taalismn wrote:Jack Baker: "I really don't see what those guys' problem is; for me and Karen, that's FOREPLAY."
Karen: "HEADS UP, MORON!"
DAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKA
(Jack dives aside as automatic grenade fire chews up the table he was sitting at)
Jack: "She must be really tired tonight; she usually doesn't give me a warning."

SRoss wrote:Rick: (In a leather harness, sword in hand) "Lisa?"

Lisa: (Ditto, lunging and tackling Rick to the furs) "FOR HELIUM!!!"

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:Rick: (In a leather harness, sword in hand) "Lisa?"

Lisa: (Ditto, lunging and tackling Rick to the furs) "FOR HELIUM!!!"

Funny..I was just rereading that this afternoon.

"To be honest, Roy, the first time we'd made out, I'd just carved my way through several dozen Zodangans when I busted into the room where she'd been dragged, and she'd strangled a odwar with her chains and fractured the pelvises of two dwar adjutants with kicks to the groin. And she'd managed to shoot the jeddak with his own pistol. There we were, covered in blood, staring at each other..."

"Rick, I don't need to know any more. In fact, that's more than I wanted to know, period."

"Claudia, you really don't know what a pair-bonding exercise it is to fight alongside your man, swashbuckling your way out of a warlord's castle, side-by-side, back to back, blades flashing! I never thought those fencing lessons in school would ever come in handy-"
"Lisa, I hope you never need relationship counseling..."

taalismn wrote:"Claudia, you really don't know what a pair-bonding exercise it is to fight alongside your man, swashbuckling your way out of a warlord's castle, side-by-side, back to back, blades flashing! I never thought those fencing lessons in school would ever come in handy-"

"Lisa, I hope you never need relationship counseling..."

Token EBSIS Spy: (Whispering into his lapel) "Comrade Commissar! We might want to rethink the plot to kidnap Mrs Hunter!!!"

taalismn wrote:"Claudia, you really don't know what a pair-bonding exercise it is to fight alongside your man, swashbuckling your way out of a warlord's castle, side-by-side, back to back, blades flashing! I never thought those fencing lessons in school would ever come in handy-"
"Lisa, I hope you never need relationship counseling..."

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:"Claudia, you really don't know what a pair-bonding exercise it is to fight alongside your man, swashbuckling your way out of a warlord's castle, side-by-side, back to back, blades flashing! I never thought those fencing lessons in school would ever come in handy-"

"Lisa, I hope you never need relationship counseling..."

Token EBSIS Spy: (Whispering into his lapel) "Comrade Commissar! We might want to rethink the plot to kidnap Mrs Hunter!!!"

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:"Claudia, you really don't know what a pair-bonding exercise it is to fight alongside your man, swashbuckling your way out of a warlord's castle, side-by-side, back to back, blades flashing! I never thought those fencing lessons in school would ever come in handy-"

"Lisa, I hope you never need relationship counseling..."

Token EBSIS Spy: (Whispering into his lapel) "Comrade Commissar! We might want to rethink the plot to kidnap Mrs Hunter!!!"

"Kevlar body armor wouldn't stop a saber, will it?"
"Not if that saber's aimed at the face, no."

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:"Claudia, you really don't know what a pair-bonding exercise it is to fight alongside your man, swashbuckling your way out of a warlord's castle, side-by-side, back to back, blades flashing! I never thought those fencing lessons in school would ever come in handy-"

"Lisa, I hope you never need relationship counseling..."

Token EBSIS Spy: (Whispering into his lapel) "Comrade Commissar! We might want to rethink the plot to kidnap Mrs Hunter!!!"

"Kevlar body armor wouldn't stop a saber, will it?"
"Not if that saber's aimed at the face, no."

Alpha 11 wrote:

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:"Claudia, you really don't know what a pair-bonding exercise it is to fight alongside your man, swashbuckling your way out of a warlord's castle, side-by-side, back to back, blades flashing! I never thought those fencing lessons in school would ever come in handy-"

"Lisa, I hope you never need relationship counseling..."

Token EBSIS Spy: (Whispering into his lapel) "Comrade Commissar! We might want to rethink the plot to kidnap Mrs Hunter!!!"

"Kevlar body armor wouldn't stop a saber, will it?"
"Not if that saber's aimed at the face, no."

As I recall, without inserts, Kevlar won't protect against stabbing or arrows.

SRoss wrote:

Alpha 11 wrote:

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:"Claudia, you really don't know what a pair-bonding exercise it is to fight alongside your man, swashbuckling your way out of a warlord's castle, side-by-side, back to back, blades flashing! I never thought those fencing lessons in school would ever come in handy-"

"Lisa, I hope you never need relationship counseling..."

Token EBSIS Spy: (Whispering into his lapel) "Comrade Commissar! We might want to rethink the plot to kidnap Mrs Hunter!!!"

"Kevlar body armor wouldn't stop a saber, will it?"
"Not if that saber's aimed at the face, no."

As I recall, without inserts, Kevlar won't protect against stabbing or arrows.

and then there's the Legolas Effect... Armor doesn't do anything if the attacker can accurately and consistently put hits through the holes or gaps in the armor...

(A dark-haired Asian woman in a business suit/kimono appears on camera. A mask covers half her face)
“Hello, my name is Lynn Minmei...you may know me as a performer on stage and screen, with a long career in the public eye. I have decided to parlay that experience and put it to good use addressing an issue of great importance.”
(Camera cut to several people walking out of a shop and getting suddenly beseiged by a horde of camera-carrying paparazzi, forcing the shoppers to run for their car. Cut to various scenes of people getting accosted by freelance ‘journalists’, being tailed by creepy-looking fans, or being spied on by tech-geeks with long range cameras and drones)
“Privacy protection. Yes, in our increasingly watched world, the opportunity to enjoy simple privacy in our lives is becoming rarer and rarer fro the prying eyes of the so-called ‘free press’ and from obsessed stalkers who regularly ignore the warnings of unfortunately impotent law enforcers. So I’ve decided to use my considerable contacts in government and the military to offer protective services for your privacy.”
(CUT: Couple and their child walk out of a shop towards their car, when the paparazzi swarm out, only to be stopped by several Cyclone-clad guards dropping down and aiming laser designators into their cameras, ruining the electronics)
(CUT: Freelancer outside an exclusive resort sends a camera drone aloft to spy on the people inside Moments later the drone disintegrates in a ball of fire, as an old UEDF Defender destroid steps out of the trees and begins marching towards the freelancer’s van. The freelancer runs for it)
(CUT: A man goes over a wall and begins making his way towards a house. He’s working at a window when two Tirolian Terminators fade out of the foliage behind him and grab him in a chokehold, dragging him away into the darkness.)
(CUT: Yacht being pursued by photographers in speedboats...until a Zentraedi Salan-class ship suddenly humps up out of the water between them and starts deploying cannon turrets at the photographers, giving the yacht a chance to get away)
(CUT: Back to Minmei)
“Lynn Privacy Protection Services. Because you want some private time for yourselves.”

Kyle: (Entering the bar running up to the booth) "Hey guys! Look at this, Minmei used her influence to get us all jobs with Tabloid Central! I guess she doesn't hate me after all."

Tabloid Reporter:(trying to creep up behind some bushes on private property) "Oh yeah...just a few steps more..unobstructed view of the villa swimming pool...swimsuit shots..maybe some nude frollicking....money shots...come to papa....(churrr?)...oh what?..Oh get away, you damn fuzzball!...(murrr?)...Oh, get away! Come on, Git!(Raaawwwrrr!!) I said beat it!(GRouklll!!) GIT! GIT!(GRARRRR!!) YOW! Okay you're askig for it!(kick-kick-kick! YIP! YIP!) Yeah, how's that feel!? Huh?!(grrraaaaawwwrrrrrrrrrrr) ...oh...there's MORE of youse.....(RRRAAAWWWWWWRRRRR) AH! AH! AH! GETOFFGETOFFGETOFFHELLLPPPPPPPPP!(snarl! gnash!rip! tear!)"

"Scott? You remember to feed the pollinators?"
(listening for a moment) "I think that's already been taken care of."

taalismn wrote:(A dark-haired Asian woman in a business suit/kimono appears on camera. A mask covers half her face)
“Hello, my name is Lynn Minmei...you may know me as a performer on stage and screen, with a long career in the public eye. I have decided to parlay that experience and put it to good use addressing an issue of great importance.”
(Camera cut to several people walking out of a shop and getting suddenly beseiged by a horde of camera-carrying paparazzi, forcing the shoppers to run for their car. Cut to various scenes of people getting accosted by freelance ‘journalists’, being tailed by creepy-looking fans, or being spied on by tech-geeks with long range cameras and drones)
“Privacy protection. Yes, in our increasingly watched world, the opportunity to enjoy simple privacy in our lives is becoming rarer and rarer fro the prying eyes of the so-called ‘free press’ and from obsessed stalkers who regularly ignore the warnings of unfortunately impotent law enforcers. So I’ve decided to use my considerable contacts in government and the military to offer protective services for your privacy.”
(CUT: Couple and their child walk out of a shop towards their car, when the paparazzi swarm out, only to be stopped by several Cyclone-clad guards dropping down and aiming laser designators into their cameras, ruining the electronics)
(CUT: Freelancer outside an exclusive resort sends a camera drone aloft to spy on the people inside Moments later the drone disintegrates in a ball of fire, as an old UEDF Defender destroid steps out of the trees and begins marching towards the freelancer’s van. The freelancer runs for it)
(CUT: A man goes over a wall and begins making his way towards a house. He’s working at a window when two Tirolian Terminators fade out of the foliage behind him and grab him in a chokehold, dragging him away into the darkness.)
(CUT: Yacht being pursued by photographers in speedboats...until a Zentraedi Salan-class ship suddenly humps up out of the water between them and starts deploying cannon turrets at the photographers, giving the yacht a chance to get away)
(CUT: Back to Minmei)
“Lynn Privacy Protection Services. Because you want some private time for yourselves.”

SRoss wrote:Kyle: (Entering the bar running up to the booth) "Hey guys! Look at this, Minmei used her influence to get us all jobs with Tabloid Central! I guess she doesn't hate me after all."

taalismn wrote:Tabloid Reporter:(trying to creep up behind some bushes on private property) "Oh yeah...just a few steps more..unobstructed view of the villa swimming pool...swimsuit shots..maybe some nude frollicking....money shots...come to papa....(churrr?)...oh what?..Oh get away, you damn fuzzball!...(murrr?)...Oh, get away! Come on, Git!(Raaawwwrrr!!) I said beat it!(GRouklll!!) GIT! GIT!(GRARRRR!!) YOW! Okay you're askig for it!(kick-kick-kick! YIP! YIP!) Yeah, how's that feel!? Huh?!(grrraaaaawwwrrrrrrrrrrr) ...oh...there's MORE of youse.....(RRRAAAWWWWWWRRRRR) AH! AH! AH! GETOFFGETOFFGETOFFHELLLPPPPPPPPP!(snarl! gnash!rip! tear!)"

"Scott? You remember to feed the pollinators?"
(listening for a moment) "I think that's already been taken care of."

Khyron: "The secret to success is having a clear plan. Grell, you will swim out to Minmei's yacht and take the nude photos of Minmei."

Grell: