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SRoss wrote:Khyron: "The secret to success is having a clear plan. Grell, you will swim out to Minmei's yacht and take the nude photos of Minmei."

Grell:

SRoss wrote:Khyron: "The secret to success is having a clear plan. Grell, you will swim out to Minmei's yacht and take the nude photos of Minmei."

Grell:

Arnie100 wrote:Grell: "Me?! Why me?!"
Khyron: "Gerao's busy distributing your stuff if you fail to make it back..."
Grell: "It's not fair..."

SRoss wrote:
Suddenly a Haydonite, loaded with weapons blows in the door and rakes the room with gunfire...

Velt: "THAT'S MY LINE!!!"

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:Khyron: "The secret to success is having a clear plan. Grell, you will swim out to Minmei's yacht and take the nude photos of Minmei."

Grell:

Breetai: "How goes your plan to cut overhead, Khyron?"
Khyron: "I'm getting rid of a big budget sucker even as we speak."
Geraro: "Dibs on Grel's spare boots!"

Arnie100 wrote:Grell: "Me?! Why me?!"
Khyron: "Gerao's busy distributing your stuff if you fail to make it back..."
Grell: "It's not fair..."

SRoss wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:Grell: "Me?! Why me?!"
Khyron: "Gerao's busy distributing your stuff if you fail to make it back..."
Grell: "It's not fair..."

Suddenly a Haydonite, loaded with weapons blows in the door and rakes the room with gunfire...

Velt: "THAT'S MY LINE!!!"

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:
Suddenly a Haydonite, loaded with weapons blows in the door and rakes the room with gunfire...

Velt: "THAT'S MY LINE!!!"

Veidt suddenly finds himself facing Vince Grant.
Veidt's weapons clink 'EMPTY' and 'NO RESERVE POWER LEFT'.
Vince smiles. Levels his rail gun.
Just before being blown away, Veidt resignedly quips: "That's better-"

taalismn wrote:Veidt: "Just as long as we have a procedure for this sort of thing..."

taalismn wrote:Charon, Boatman of the Dead: "YOU-"
Veidt: "Don't mind me, I'm here to pick up my backup copy. Then I'm going back."
Veidt-HD: "I'm NOT going back there!!!"

Alternate:
Charon: "This is odd, even for me..."
(He's watching as one Veidt comes through the gates, tags Veidt-HD, who spawns a copy of himself)
Veidt: "You're up."
Veidt Copy: "Why me?"
Veidt: "Yeah, that's what I thought."(He continues on to the ferry, where several other Veidts are aboard, waiting)

SRoss wrote:Geraro: "BOSS! LOOK I GOT PICTURES OF SAMMIE IN THE SHOWER!!!"

Khyron: "YOU FOOL!!!"

Suddenly the door explodes behind them...

Sammie:

SRoss wrote:Geraro: "BOSS! LOOK I GOT PICTURES OF SAMMIE IN THE SHOWER!!!"

Khyron: "YOU FOOL!!!"

Suddenly the door explodes behind them...

Sammie:

Arnie100 wrote:Grell: (Hiding camera...) "I knew those would come in handy...and that was for trying to steal MY boots!"

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:Geraro: "BOSS! LOOK I GOT PICTURES OF SAMMIE IN THE SHOWER!!!"

Khyron: "YOU FOOL!!!"

Suddenly the door explodes behind them...

Sammie:

Khyron:(pocketing pictures) "It's not even your best side, honey."
Sammie:(stepping down off Geraro's beaten-raw body)"Just get the shower replaced..."

Arnie100 wrote:Grell: (Hiding camera...) "I knew those would come in handy...and that was for trying to steal MY boots!"

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:Grell: (Hiding camera...) "I knew those would come in handy...and that was for trying to steal MY boots!"

(Voice from behind)"The sharp pain you feel in your side is one of your kidneys being cut out of circuit. No sudden moves, or you lose the other one."
Grell:(sweating profusely)"I'm really REALLY sorry about those nude shots, Miss Minmei..."

Arnie100 wrote:
Grell: "REVENGE IS MINE!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Ouchie..."

Arnie100 wrote:Grell: "It wasn't me...it...it was GERAO!! HE MADE ME DO IT!!"
Minmei: "Where's GERAO!"
Grell: "Khyron's quarter's!!!"
Minmei: "Khyron?! Him too?!"
Grell: "Uhm, yeah...they were both in on it! It wasn't my fault! I was following orders!"

(Suddenly...a loud banging at Khyron's door...)

Minmei: "KHYRON!!!! GERAO!!!"
Sammie: "Not you, too!!!! GERAO!!!!!!!!"
Khyron and Gerao: (Hugging each other) "Protoculture SAVE US!!!!"

(Grell's room...)

Grell: "REVENGE IS MINE!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Ouchie..."

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:
Grell: "REVENGE IS MINE!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Ouchie..."

(Recorded Minmei Voice): "I haven't forgotten about you, -Grell-"
*BEEP*
Grell stops, then starts sweatdropping as he frantically begins searching for where the voice is coming from..
Grell: "Yep, limpet mines in the closet."
He dives under his bed, to use the mattress as a blast cushion.
*BEEP*
"...mines under the bed too."
He makes a flying leap to that old standby, the bathtub, trusting in its high sides deflecting blast.
*BEEP*
"Oh, bravo, claymore charge in the shower head!"
#BOOM!#


Landlord: "Okay, that jerk in 3B doesn't get his deposit back!"

taalismn wrote:Minmei:"It's NICE to have stealth mecha on speed-dial for those explosives-planting jobs."
Tachikoma:(fading in) "Just remember; you're only RENTING us!"

taalismn wrote:Minmei's paying them off with natural oil.

taalismn wrote:Signs Your First Contact MIssion is About to Get TOO Interesting:

Translations:
"Which of your bodily orifices are used in reproduction?"

"We're here to serve man."

"Which of your species can we have who will not be missed?"

"Really, who are your REAL leaders?"

"What is your military strength?"

"How fast do you breed?"

"How do you taste?"

"You insult us by existing!"

"Can we have one of your appendages?"

"Can we have your women?"

"Kneel before your new gods!"

"Can you take off your skin?"

"You realize you're too ugly to live?"

SRoss wrote:"

"Purple."

"Green."

taalismn wrote:Signs Your First Contact MIssion is About to Get TOO Interesting:

Translations:
"Which of your bodily orifices are used in reproduction?"

"We're here to serve man."

"Which of your species can we have who will not be missed?"

"Really, who are your REAL leaders?"

"What is your military strength?"

"How fast do you breed?"

"How do you taste?"

"You insult us by existing!"

"Can we have one of your appendages?"

"Can we have your women?"

"Kneel before your new gods!"

"Can you take off your skin?"

"You realize you're too ugly to live?"

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:Signs Your First Contact MIssion is About to Get TOO Interesting:

Translations:
"Which of your bodily orifices are used in reproduction?"

"We're here to serve man."

"Which of your species can we have who will not be missed?"

"Really, who are your REAL leaders?"

"What is your military strength?"

"How fast do you breed?"

"How do you taste?"

"You insult us by existing!"

"Can we have one of your appendages?"

"Can we have your women?"

"Kneel before your new gods!"

"Can you take off your skin?"

"You realize you're too ugly to live?"

"What wine are you best served with?"

"Ah yes, Lisa told us to expect you." (Edwards only)

"We've heard your broadcasts... Your destruction would be a public service."

"You must become one with the creator."

"Our leader must become one with the being you call Minmei ... Umm, physically..."

"Peace? THIS IS SPARTA!!!" (Kicks Kyle into the bottomless well)

taalismn wrote:"Thank you for coming. It saves us the expense of hunting you down."

"We greet you with open arms and hungry appetites."

"Ah, you're next on the list."

"Where's your god now?"

"So...what percentage of your population is capable of sustained heavy labor?"

"Give up now and avoid the rush."

"Glad you're here. Our last host species is just about extinct."

glitterboy2098 wrote:"you mean your race cannot remove their own heads?"

taalismn wrote:Then there's the classic:
(Unheard by the humans)
"Let's approach them with our gunports open as a sign of friendship and respect!"

SRoss wrote:"AHHH! THEY LOOK LIKE THE ANNIE! SHOOT! SHOOT!"

"Ah, you must be the egg host Sammie promised." (Minmei only)

"Why yes we ALL look like Lisa. Let's talk about it over dinner."

(Sound of cloaked Predator watching the party)

"Purple."

"Green."

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:"

"Purple."

"Green."

Ah, the Drazi...they were generally played for laughs, but when they were in the Rangers, they were magnificently self-sacrificing.

"What is the airspeed of a cardinal carrying a coconut?"

SRoss wrote:"We seek to become one with the blond chick, with the puffy hair."

Arnie100 wrote:

SRoss wrote:"We seek to become one with the blond chick, with the puffy hair."

Dana: "Oh; HELL, no!! (Pulls out the biggest, meanest-looking gatling cannon out from nowhere and points it at the now-terrified aliens....)"
Alien #1: "Uhm...wrong blond chick with the puffy hair!"
Alien #2: "We'll go home, now...'bye!"

taalismn wrote:"Here; have a gift of our technology. Just don't open it."

"Help us defeat our sworn enemies. No, you can't independentally question the other side; just take it from us; they're evil."

"Naturally, as a sign of trust from you, we expect you to totally disband your military forces."

"Mind if we park our massive starships over your major cities? More convenient that way."

"Say, how much radiation can your species tolerate?"

SRoss wrote:"I, AM, YOUR, SOLDIER... (or SERVANT)" (Said by a rolling pepper pot)

(The sound of the projectile's top ominously unscrewing)

"We come in peace."

"Klaatoo! Verata! Nik<Cough><Cough>!"

taalismn wrote:"We come to solve all your problems and not ask for anything in return!"

"Send us your greatest champion!"

SRoss wrote:"We seek to become one with the blond chick, with the puffy hair."

Arnie100 wrote:

SRoss wrote:"We seek to become one with the blond chick, with the puffy hair."

Dana: "Oh; HELL, no!! (Pulls out the biggest, meanest-looking gatling cannon out from nowhere and points it at the now-terrified aliens....)"
Alien #1: "Uhm...wrong blond chick with the puffy hair!"
Alien #2: "We'll go home, now...'bye!"

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:

SRoss wrote:"We seek to become one with the blond chick, with the puffy hair."

Dana: "Oh; HELL, no!! (Pulls out the biggest, meanest-looking gatling cannon out from nowhere and points it at the now-terrified aliens....)"
Alien #1: "Uhm...wrong blond chick with the puffy hair!"
Alien #2: "We'll go home, now...'bye!"

If only it was that easy...
(Sound of slide on shotgun working)
Alien: "...ah, just passing through, honest! We'll be getting on our way to...ah , Messier 83, right!"

taalismn wrote:Alien2: "Not Messier 83! That's still arguably visible with the naked eye from Earth! We're ah, going farther out that that."
Alien: "LOTS farther. Now put away the shotgun, monkey-boy! We can find our own way out!"

taalismn wrote:Alien2: "Not Messier 83! That's still arguably visible with the naked eye from Earth! We're ah, going farther out that that."
Alien: "LOTS farther. Now put away the shotgun, monkey-boy! We can find our own way out!"

SRoss wrote:

taalismn wrote:Alien2: "Not Messier 83! That's still arguably visible with the naked eye from Earth! We're ah, going farther out that that."
Alien: "LOTS farther. Now put away the shotgun, monkey-boy! We can find our own way out!"

Dana: "Monkey-BOY!!!"

(Sounds gratuitous gunfire)

taalismn wrote:Alien: "I TOLD YOU THOSE KNOBS WEREN'T FOR RECEPTION FINE-TUNING!!!!"

taalismn wrote:(Dark room in the RM Mothership)
Karno: "Now I KNOW you're not Musica! Hers aren't as big and-"
Dana: "...grrrrrr....."
Bowie: " I'll forgo defending my fiance's honor because there's not going to enough of you left to take vengeance on. Dana's fairly touchy about being touched like that..."
Angelo: "Not if I get him first."

taalismn wrote:Signs Your First Contact MIssion is About to Get TOO Interesting:

taalismn wrote:"Zombies...why the hell does it always have to be zombies?..."

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:"Zombies...why the hell does it always have to be zombies?..."

Annie: "Ewwwwww...(pulls out the biggest, meanest-looking chainsaw and revs it up)"
Sara: "Mind if I join you?"
Zombie: "Uh-oh..."

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:"Zombies...why the hell does it always have to be zombies?..."

Annie: "Ewwwwww...(pulls out the biggest, meanest-looking chainsaw and revs it up)"
Sara: "Mind if I join you?"
Zombie: "Uh-oh..."

I'm really regreting not having had the time this week to finish my 'Vulture' humanoid...it was a Eugenic Hero template made up using the Powers Unlimited Eugenic Heroes charts, to depict a human optimized for fighting the undead in much the same way Rifts psi-stalkers evolved to prey on supernatural critters. Vultures/Scavs were basicaly superpowered humans able to munch safely on zombie(in fact, it was their prefered food...they could only digest rotted/well-aged meat).