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"Clones are Us, how may I Help you?"
"Sorry, Sir The Rick Hunter line was discontinued at christmass"
"No, Sir. Not even the floor model, it was shiped out to a privet buyer."
"No. We don't give out that sort of information, its illegale"
"Sorry sir,we can't help you, the demolition man set is on the line, they need three new stalones, good bye sir"
*the phone set down by a Minmay clone and she turns around to look at another minmay clone*
"Girls, they are all ours... the last one on set crocked half an hour ago"
*all the Minmay clones start wheeling out pods of rick hunter clones*

Poor Rick! It's a fate worse than death!

(The conflict between the ladies takes a more aggressive turn...)

"Closer..closer...just a moment more...a little more to the right, and no more little miss macross..."
*PHFT*
"...erg.."
*THUD*
"Damn...of all the times for him to step in! Oh well, there will be other opportunities, and you won't be so lucky next time, Minmei!" Lisa swore as she packed up her silenced sniper rifle and escaped down the scaffolding of the high rise construction site...

Meanwhile, Minmei's looking down at Lynn Kyle's lifeless body sprawled at her feet, a small red hole in his forehead...
'Hmmm....at least he was finally good for SOMETHING."

Oh no! Lynn Kyle dead! YAHOO!!!! I'm always happy when that jerk gets his. And hopefully ClonesRUS will be out of his model. Of course the "Game of Pain" might have several clones of him to use for "FUN!"

drewkitty ~..~ wrote:"Clones are Us, how may I Help you?"
"Sorry, Sir The Rick Hunter line was discontinued at christmass"
"No, Sir. Not even the floor model, it was shiped out to a privet buyer."
"No. We don't give out that sort of information, its illegale"
"Sorry sir,we can't help you, the demolition man set is on the line, they need three new stalones, good bye sir"
*the phone set down by a Minmay clone and she turns around to look at another minmay clone*
"Girls, they are all ours... the last one on set crocked half an hour ago"
*all the Minmay clones start wheeling out pods of rick hunter clones*

And with filming not yet complete...
"Great, until we can persuade this 'Hikaru' fellow to help us out..."
"He's not...the whole 'Macek-Macross' thing, remember? They're refusing to have anything to do with us..."
"Oh, right...how about the original pattern Rick Hunter?"
"Hiding somewhere...we suspect somewhere in the Cascades...He's not coming back until we can assure his safety..."
"Great again...Can we get somebody to fill in?"
"We have some prospects...but I got reservations about them..."
"Try them. I can't see it getting any worse..."

(Aftermath of Operation Starsaver)
Lynn Kyle: "You bloodthirsty warmonger! You almost killed us! I ought-"
"KACHU TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN!"
--Lynn Kyle gets brutally beaten back almost over the horizon as he gets hit by a thousand punches in the space of a second.
"*CUT!*... MIster SAOTOME!!! THE SCRIPT DOES NOT CALL FOR A MARTIAL ARTS BRAWL TO CUT LOOSE!!!"
"But he was attacking me!"
"You follow the freakin' script, not your muscles!"
"So I'm supposed to just sit there and take his s***?"
"YES!! "
"Yeah, whatever...look, you ain't paying me enough...See yah, chumps..Call me when you got some real action to film."
"He's supposed to be a PROFESSIONAL?!"
"Pete, get the next guy...."

(Breetai's tearing apart Rick Hunter's VF on the flagship.)
Breetai: "You can't hide in there, Micronian!"
"... er ....."
(Suddenly the VF begins glowing at the seams)
(Cut to outside shot of the flagship)
"*SUPER SAIYAN!!! KKKIIIICCCKKKK!!!!!!!"*
(A beam of intense light sudden shoots out the side of the flagship as we briefly see a Breetai-shaped projectile sudden go shotting through the hull and go accelerating into space...)
"*CUT!*... Mister GOKU!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!!!!?????"
"...but...er...defending myself?"
"That's it! No more super-powered martial artists posinga s actors! Get me a redshirt from Star Trek!!! AARRGGHHH!!!"

taalismn wrote:snip.... ....ctors! Get me a redshirt from Star Trek!!! AARRGGHHH!!!"

ROTFLMAO

*at the resort the MM clones bought, there are Rick Hunter clones everywhere, mostly in next to nothing and with slave collars*
MM15"Sister 12, what about our original? didn't she want one to?"
MM12 "yah sister 15, but she was on some Star W**s kick"*points to a black obelisk at the back of the bar*
MM11"Ohhh, he's frozen in carbonite. So who has to play Jaba?"
MM12" That was what that Kyron clone is for, but we have to wait for them shooting ep one first. Him and that Azonia clone have to play a part"
MM16"so that is why you had me build those hovercraft"*in a jumpsuit covered in grease, like this one is the odd one out of the bunch of MMs, better*"they better hurry up. that Invid clone we took to play saboba is evolving fast, he might actually think for itself soon"
MM15*gets all gitty*"Maybe it will turn into one that looks like that Corg fella"
MM11"nah... it will turn into Jarjar, it will be useless then"
MM12*swirls her drink*"too bad we didn't get some folker clones too. Now there was a a hot papa"
MM11"Didn't they still have some in stock?"
MM12"yah, but there was some sort of lock on the revival process, said they had been sold off to a C.G., and they couldn't been revived without bypassing a vocal lock code, finger print and retinal scans"*shrugs*
MM16*gets up*"I gota get that funky disk ship built before Wednesday"
MM11"how are you going to do that? that is a lot of heavy lifting"
MM16*smiles*"its a wonder when you have a Breetaiee clone who's memory has been erased to a point back before the zents were warriors. They turn out to be good mechanics"

Rick Hunter: "Oh *CRUD*...what did I drink last night?!..*CLINK*..ah, what..?!...CARGO SHACKLES?!...Uh oh...where are my pants?...ulp...damn, they found me..."
Voice: "-I-found you..."
RH: "...Lisa!...okay...HOW?!"
L: "Same way the Italian police tracked down the Sicilian Mafioso...You really should do your own laundry...I just tracked your dry-cleaning back to your little cabin here, and lobbed a canister of the latest sleep gas down your chimney..."
RH: "Thanks...I'll remember that next time..."
L: "There will be no 'next time'...the chase was hard and long, and that ***** almost got me with that Thai brothel side-trip...Incidentally, I may have started an organized crime war in Southeast Asia, getting out...No, I've worked too hard for the prize, and I mean to collect with interest..."
RH: "...erg...what's that you got there?"
L: "Something from 'Victoria's Top Secret'"...*zzziiippp*
RH: "...eeeee....!"

ROFLMAO!!! Those were funny! I think we need to hit those Minmei clones with some special forces Lisa Hunters who have been especially trainned to kill Minmei. And they make sure with two shots to the head, very effective method of getting rid of those clones.

"There...it took some convincing, but I think we're back on schedule..."
"Yeah...having the two female leads trying to kill each other can set back filming something fierce.."
"Damn prima donnas..."
"Glad you got them to see reason and how silly their whole feud was.."
"So am I.."
(Behind them, a dressing room trailer suddenly explodes...The two execs turn around, and watch the trailer come down in flaming pieces around them..)
"Carl?"
"Yes?"
"Try making them see reason a little harder, okay?"

ROFLMAO!!! AWESOME! Those two at it is awesome! Although I'd perfer Lisa to win. Although those two fighting would allow some other woman to make a grab at Rick!

Captain Gloval and his executive officers in conference when they have one of their early disagreements...
"That will be all, gentlemen, I have made my decision."
Maistroff gets up, angry...
"I can't believe this! You're going ahead with this? You believe this!? I protest sir! I.. I'll.....I'll call the police! The New York Times! I'll call the Pope on this one!!!"
...there's a moment of silence....
Gloval looks hard at Maistroff...
"You'll call the POPE?!"
Maistroff's looking sheepish and mock defiant, while next to him, one of the other 'hardliners' is miming playing a violin, and the other's mouthing lines like a teleprompter, before everybody cracks up...

*it Christmas eve and kyron's battle cruiser is headed into ram the SDF-1*
On the bridge Gloval and the bridge bunnies having sent Lisa off in the last escape pod, are having a their group hug, and suddenly sammy slaps gloval*"Echi! Hentai< pervert, now you've ruined our die-ing moment. I'd sue you for sexual harassment if there was time."
*while sammy is saying this with closed eyes madness, the other two BB's close ranks on gloval and give into their secret desires and grope him*
*finally seeing the others*"TRADERS"*and goes to grope him too*
*all the while Claudia is there LOL*
*after a while, maybe cause Gloval paid him of, the director says*"Cut, Print, thats a wrap"*then suddenly disappears with the film just shot*

ROFLMAO!!!!


And then the biggest mistake at this time. Khyron's ship totally misses the SDF! And they keep having to film this again and again. It turns out that Khyron was having a little flirting with Azonia instead of steering the ship.

Aramanthus wrote:ROFLMAO!!!!


And then the biggest mistake at this time. Khyron's ship totally misses the SDF! And they keep having to film this again and again. It turns out that Khyron was having a little flirting with Azonia instead of steering the ship.

Oh dear... imagine all the things it would hit when it was missing the SDF... That could be nasty.

"WE'll die together, Azonia!"
"Yes, Khyron! Yes!"
The screen flares with that bright light of "these characters are toast" effect...
Then it winks out...
"Eh?"
"What just happened?"
Random Zentraedi Bridge Tech: "Oh, sorry about that...that was just the video game simulation we were running..."Attack on SDF-1.""
Grel gets up behind everybody, wiping some blood off his chin...Looks at the GAME OVER on the screen..."Yeah, I was trying to tell you we were running it, when you backhanded me...Problem is, when it gets to stage 12, it starts blowing out bridge circuits and messing with the bridge gravity..."
"Actually that was my touch...thought it added realism..."
"You mean it all..."
"Our glorious death.."
"Was all a simulation...?"
"Yep.."
"AAARRGGGHHHH!!!!!!"
"Milord? Put the chair down! No, not that way!"

ROFLMAO!!! What happens if the video game simulation ends up getting the ring of death as they are getting ready for the ultimate climax.

"Mister Kyle...Understand that MInmei's singing is VITAL to the success of our plan..."
"Minmei's...singing..."
"Yes! So set aside your personal feelings about the military and--"
"VItal...success...?"
"Exactly.."
"...we are SO f*****d...."
"KYLE!!!???"
"...she can't carry a tune to save her own life...let alone the world's...we are so SCREWED...."
"...Kyle, did you even bother reading the script...?"
"...we're doomed..."
"Kyle!"
"...I'm surrounded by idiots...."
SMACK!
"Thank you, Miss Minmei. That should bring him around."
CRACK!
"That wasn't necessary, Lieutenant Hunter...now he's back out..."
"It was either that, or Minmei would have killed him..and she's on stage in fifteen minutes.."

==Rejected Script for Macross / Robotech Series 1==
On the bridge of the SDF-1, Minmei is about to sing 'We will win' (or for those of you who wish to save your ear drums, 'Do you remember Love') when a strange signal is broadcast from Breetai's ship.

Vanessa; "Captain! A Strange signal is being broadcast from Breetai's ship!"

Cpt. Gloval; "Put it on screen!"

The SDF-1's main tactical display fizzez and crackles as the signal stabalizes...when it does, everyones jaw drops at the sight of over 10,000 Zentraedi warriors all in a line with the one in the fore-front dressed in a short white jacket, white leather pants and sporting a thin moustache.

-Stompstomp CLAP Stompstomp CLAP-

Lead Zent; "...You got blood on your face! A big disgrace! Kicking your can all over the place, SINGING! *Chrous of all 10,001 zent warriors* WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU! ...Everybody!" as another warrior kicks into a blistering guitar solo.

Gloval; "I'm not certain... but I think that letting Breetai & Exedore have full access to our historical "culture" files might have been the best idea we've had all year..."

Sammy; "But what about Minmei's song?"

Claudia; "Somehow, I think the sheer weight of awsome just unleashed right now by those big lugs has made Minmei a moot point."

Minmei; *tiny voice because her mike is not connected yet* "Hey...are we gonna let me sing to save the world?! Guys?!"

Camera pulls back, showing EVERY renegade Zentraedi, Maltraedi and Un-Spacy mech 'air-guitar' riffing

Bedolza; "Them doing that means we're (censored), right?"

The SDF-1 returns to Earth, landing in the Pacific Ocean in a wash of steam, surging waves, and displaced water...
Everybody cheers...
Cut to shot of bridge...
Everybody's plastered pell-mell up against the inside of the bridge's front window...
Gloval:(flattened against the armor-glass)" ...Lisa?...a littlesofteronthebrakenexttime...?"
(from somewhere under the edge of the window) "...sorry, sir..."
Claudia: "...She ALWAYS drives like this.."

ROTFLMAO

ROFLMAO!!! Those were some great ones! Please keep them coming!

Zor Prime's lining up for his suicide shot as he's thinking grimly...
"Sorry, Dana, but this HAS to be done..."
He pulls the trigger...
CLICK
CLICK
CLICK
"Oh, you've GOT to be kidding me..."
(shakes weapon drum)
"IT's EMPTY?!"
(Looks down the gun bore in frustration)
BLAM!
..>One last shot blows his Bioroid's head right off..
Then his Bioroid explodes...
Setting up the ship's reactor...
So the end result's the same...only less heroic tragic dignity...

Admiral Hayes and Captain Gloval are standing next to each other looking at each other's white peaked caps...
Hayes: "Mine's bigger than yours..."
Gloval cracks up...

Admiral Hayes waiting at the landing strip for his daughter's shuttle to arrive..It does, the door opens, she steps out...
...and promptly falls ten feet to the ground because the debarking ramp hasn't pulled up completely yet...
Adm. Hayes just claps his hand over his face...

Lisa aboard the shuttle when the armored pod closes up around her...
"AUGH!!!"
..We see that her fingers are stuck in the closure seam...

The Catseye Recon gets jumped...
Immediately sensing a 'Red Shirt' moment, the pilot ejects, leaving Lisa on the abandoned ship as it flies into Zentraedi territory...

Shot of the Bridge Bunnies playing dating-sim games on the Bridge monitors....

ROFLMAO!!!! Those were funny! Thank you for sharing them. I hope you do some really cruel things to Minmei and Lynn Kyle. They both deserve it!

Aramanthus wrote:ROFLMAO!!!! Those were funny! Thank you for sharing them. I hope you do some really cruel things to Minmei and Lynn Kyle. They both deserve it!

Beating up Kyle and Minmei ---one has to be careful..too much and one starts to pity them..In moderation, abusing them for cheap laughs can be sustainable...

So, on that sobering thought..

RRRNNNNNNNNN!!!!NNNEEENEEENNNEEENEEEEE!!!
"YYYAAGGGHHH!!!"
(Lynn Kyle runs by looking like he's suffering the Death of a Thousand Cuts, pursued by Minmei in a hockeymask with a rip-roaring chainsaw...)

ROFLMAO!!!! Now that is a new twist! That might be the way to do it for awhile. Have them torture each other.

Captain Gloval comes onto the bridge...sits down in his chair...or tries to...because there's suddenly a loud squalling sound from underneath him...
He abruptly sits up, turns around, and grabs a large furry oval thing that's apparently alive...
He turns to the Bridge Bunnies..
"Get this thing...those things...off my bridge!"
Sammie's got a smaller furry thing in her hand, and looking chagrinned , Vanessa's got one too...in fact, everybody's petting a small purring ball of fuzz, and there are several crawling about the consoles and clinging to the walls...
(Meanwhile, Carl Macek's looking chagrined, too; "Hey, I thought signing on David Gerrold as co-writer would give 'Robotech' extra selling power...")

Zentradi on a moving walkway at an airport.

Moves past a sign saying.

GIECO; So easy a Zentradi can use it.

Chris wrote:Zentradi on a moving walkway at an airport.

Moves past a sign saying.

GIECO; So easy a Zentradi can use it.

(comes back...takes a look at it...shakes his head...walks off...)
(moments later)

*BBOOOOMMM**

(battlepod tramples the sign and most of the airport concourse...)


(Cut to...
Exedore doing his rendition of Minmei...
He stops halfway through it and looks at the camera..
"Bet GEICO thinks this is easy too.")

ROFLMAO!!! Now that is an image I would watch if on TV. So does this mean we'll get a comedic series based on three zentreadi sharing an apartment in Atlanta, GA?

Aramanthus wrote:ROFLMAO!!! Now that is an image I would watch if on TV. So does this mean we'll get a comedic series based on three zentreadi sharing an apartment in Atlanta, GA?

Probably...given the general decline of culture after the Rain of Death...

Well it has to be better than three cavemen living in Atlanta. It'll be written by someone who has some idea about SciFi. And if we're lucky they'll have the idea about the way comedy should go too!

'UEG Idol' with Zentraedi judges(shiver)

"Next up!"
"Don't Cry For Me Amazonnnniiiiaaaa..."
*BLAM!*
"I, Khyron, pass judgement on this contestant and find them worthless Micronian crap! My decision is FINAL!!! Send out the next pathetic micronian who thinks to amuse me!"

The 15th ATACS is led out by the Clone Guards while some distance away Musica slips into a hover car...
Some time later, she's still there, futily banging her head on the dashboard as shots ring out in the distance...

"ARGH! WHY'D IT HAVE TO BE A -STICK SHIFT-?!!! THE -ONE-CAR NEARBY AND I -CAN'T- DRIVE A STICK!!!!!"

taalismn wrote:(Cut to...
Exedore doing his rendition of Minmei...
He stops halfway through it and looks at the camera..
"Bet GEICO thinks this is easy too.")

ARRRRRRRRGH!

*covers her ears*

Yells" That's it!" Steps up to the lever and pulls it.

"Sorry, Zor, but if you're going to join the 15th, we gotta treat you like any other new recruit...That means..."
BBBBZZZTTTTTTTTTTTTT
"...regulation buzzcut...Don;t worry about your hair; it will grow back..."
"AARRRGGGHHH!!!!"
"Hey, we all went through it...Lieutenant Sterling wasn't too happy with it either when she first mustered in..."
"I do NOT need that image..."

*BLAM*
***UAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!***
KA-BOOM!
"Gunnery...we were supposed to SHOOT DOWN Zor Prime for capture by the Micronians...not BLOW HIM UP..."
"...er..sorry?..."
"Send out the back-up. Maybe they won't notice..."
...
"Er, Captain? What you think's up with the aliens? They stopped their retreat all of a sudden and..well...that's the fourth Bioroid if theirs that's gotten nicked by friendly fire..."
"I dunno...Something's up...Oh look, here comes another one! Betcha ten dollars that one doesn't make it either!"

*one side of a rush order*
"ClonesRus how may I help you?"
"What another?"
"No, No, we don't mind, its just that is the 7th one today"
"Shure, we can get the next one out there with in the hour, but try to make this one last a bit longer this time. We are running low on that model."
"no, sir, if we rush the process they get to be too stupid and shoot up the set. I don't think you want that again."
"now remember how bad the khyron model was messed up at the end of shooting the first part. Do you really want that to happen again?"
"ok ok, you do want one like that for the final secane but you're near the of the script at this point, and if we got started now, the last one would be smart enouph not to fallow the script"
"yes, sir, I will make a note of it, that you ordered a specile one for the fanallie. But sir you know you'll have to pay extra for deviations from the production model."
"Good, we will get it worked out by the time you'll need that one."

Nova approaches the 15th at their table at the nightclub soon after their return...Musica is with them...Nova's questioning gets rather intense, when Zor moves to speak...
"No, Musica, it is ...*URGH*..urrr! urr!" He slumps over the table, his eyes wide, clutching his midsection and making high-pitched grunting noises as Nova fusses over him, and Dante and Louie make mention of 'bad clams' or 'something disagreeing with him...'..
Both Dana and Musica share a glance, having BOTH kicked Zor in the crotch under the table..

T.R. Edwards(grinning): "Well, my little songbird...we've blackened the REF's eye and gotten away with it...what do you say to that?"
Minmei(shot of her eye, because copyrights prevent us from showing her whole face): "I think I can't make up my mind between turning your head off your neck or slamming it down into your ribcage...or maybe using you as a human paddleball, or maybe..."
T.R. Edwards: "You're raving."
Minmei: "No, I'm MAD."(close-up of eye suddenly morphing....)
*SNAP*
"YYYYAAARRRGGHH!!!""...mommy!...Ullreghaashashag..."*PANG*POW*RIPPPPPPP*
"...good god...ZANNNDDD!!!WHAT DID YOU GIVE HERRRRR!!!!!!????_--GULGH!!!"
(Shot of outside of Icarus's bridge as we see stacato flashes of light through the windows...then a series of reverse pockmarks in the armor of the ship, proceeding backwards from the bridge, then down the connecting hull..)
"AAAggghhhhh!!!"
"Bullets don't stop it!!!"
"RUNNN!!"
"WHERE!!??? IT's already torn the doors off the lifepods!!!"
"HELLPP!!! IT'S GOT ME!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF...!"
CRUNGLEWRINKLEFOLDSPINDLEMUTILATEEMASCULATETENDERIZEOMINOUSSUCKINGNOISEBRUTALMETALLICCLANG

Days later a much beaten up Icarus flops back onto the field at Tirol, surrounded by REF ships and weaponry...
Hatch drops open and a single figure emerges...It's Minmei, wearing somewhat oversized uniform fatigues, looking unmade up, and rather tired. Several UEF soldiers approach...She grins, tosses them something...They immediately step back as the object bounces...we see it's Edwards' head, sans body...
Minmai grins:
" I decided to go with squeezing it off...Now, where can a girl get a good stiff drink and a long hot shower without interruptions around here?"

Didn't know Minmay was a NightSpwan ... go figure. *shrugs*

drewkitty ~..~ wrote:Didn't know Minmay was a NightSpwan ... go figure. *shrugs*

I WAS going to hint she was a Zenith Moonwarper....

Now to have Minmei as your Morpheus...THAT'S scary....

taalismn wrote:Didn't know Minmay was a NightSpwan ... go figure. *shrugs*

Who ya gonna call?

The SDF-1 comes to Earth on its automated trajectory, streaks into the atmosphere, tearing a supersonic shockwave swathe across Earth, angles for the Pacific and a small island in it...then misses it completely and sinks in the deepest part of the Mariannas Trench...

Gloval(looking over the side of his sub): "Okay...THAT'S going to complicate things..."

Magruder: "I did it, grandfather! I got myself a bride!"
Lancer:(from inside sack) Young man, I'm a guy!"
Moment of silence, before the snickers break out...
Magruder: "That's okay! I bend both ways!"
...and Lancer makes sack-race records racing back to the river....

Zor:(Watching Nova and Dana fighting over him) "It's perfectly all right, ladies! I'm pretty sure I remember the Tirolian customs allowed for polygamy! And the Masters never rescinded them!"
...moment of silence...
Dana: (sidelong)"Kill him?"
Nova: "Kill him."
...and Zor dies yet again...

If I dod it I get a whupping.

Scene:Zor walking down hallway to listen in on the brass's meeting.
Wandering GMP guy.Halt you!
Zor: Hmmm,what?(Zaaap!)
Emerson comes walking out of the meeting room.::What happened?::
Wandering GMP guy: Sir,Saw him near this restricted area.He looked shady so I Shot him.Sir!
Emerson:Geez.What's your name son?
Wandering GMP guy:Sir!Tackleberry.Sir!
I'd dod it.

ROFLMAO!!! Those were great! I'm sorry I missed the chance to read them as they came about. At least Edwards got his in and interesting way. One thing maybe Minmei should have burped as she left the Ikarus. Just a thought.

batlchip wrote:If I dod it I get a whupping.

Scene:Zor walking down hallway to listen in on the brass's meeting.
Wandering GMP guy.Halt you!
Zor: Hmmm,what?(Zaaap!)
Emerson comes walking out of the meeting room.::What happened?::
Wandering GMP guy: Sir,Saw him near this restricted area.He looked shady so I Shot him.Sir!
Emerson:Geez.What's your name son?
Wandering GMP guy:Sir!Tackleberry.Sir!
I'd dod it.

It's 'GMP Squad'

"We're surrounded by Bioroids and we're out of ammo!"
"I got it covered!"(Immediately starts imitating the sounds of battloid weapons on autofire)
Bioroids: *huh????....*