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taalismn wrote:"Girls, it;s just a GAME-"
"Shut up and keep playing! We're ALL staying here until I score a Critical!!!"
"...i really need to use the bathroom..."
"Hold it until your teeth flood! And ROLL your turn!"

taalismn wrote:"Girls, it;s just a GAME-"
"Shut up and keep playing! We're ALL staying here until I score a Critical!!!"
"...i really need to use the bathroom..."
"Hold it until your teeth flood! And ROLL your turn!"

"Damn...did I just roll a 1?!"

Arnie100 wrote:[

"Damn...did I just roll a 1?!"

"Let me see the GM's notes! I'm PRETTY sure you can't go blackhole diving on a critical fumble for trying to swat a mosquito off your nose!"

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:[

"Damn...did I just roll a 1?!"

"Let me see the GM's notes! I'm PRETTY sure you can't go blackhole diving on a critical fumble for trying to swat a mosquito off your nose!"

Ya critical fumbles do suck.

Minmei: "Wait, I have a NEGATIVE dating skill stat????!!!!"

taalismn wrote:Minmei: "Wait, I have a NEGATIVE dating skill stat????!!!!"

Rick: " Hey Lisa my love it's Minimei's birthday today I was thinking of getting her a gift. "

Lisa:" Why would you do that for? "

Rick: " Just to make her even more misrable then she already is. "

Lisa:" Oh what did you have in mind? "

*Rick holding up a box with small holes in the sides*

Rick:" It's the crazy old lady cat starter kit. "

Lisa:" Rick that's just plan cruel! "

Rick: " I know but can you really say that there is such a thing as going too far when comes to making that dirty rotten **** suffer? "

Lisa: " Hang on I'll get the keys to the car. "

Arnie100 wrote:

taalismn wrote:"Girls, it;s just a GAME-"
"Shut up and keep playing! We're ALL staying here until I score a Critical!!!"
"...i really need to use the bathroom..."
"Hold it until your teeth flood! And ROLL your turn!"

"Damn...did I just roll a 1?!"

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:[

"Damn...did I just roll a 1?!"

"Let me see the GM's notes! I'm PRETTY sure you can't go blackhole diving on a critical fumble for trying to swat a mosquito off your nose!"

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:[

"Damn...did I just roll a 1?!"

"Let me see the GM's notes! I'm PRETTY sure you can't go blackhole diving on a critical fumble for trying to swat a mosquito off your nose!"

Ya critical fumbles do suck.

Yep!

taalismn wrote:Minmei: "Wait, I have a NEGATIVE dating skill stat????!!!!"

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Minmei: "Wait, I have a NEGATIVE dating skill stat????!!!!"

Rick: " Hey Lisa my love it's Minimei's birthday today I was thinking of getting her a gift. "

Lisa:" Why would you do that for? "

Rick: " Just to make her even more misrable then she already is. "

Lisa:" Oh what did you have in mind? "

*Rick holding up a box with small holes in the sides*

Rick:" It's the crazy old lady cat starter kit. "

Lisa:" Rick that's just plan cruel! "

Rick: " I know but can you really say that there is such a thing as going too far when comes to making that dirty rotten **** suffer? "

Lisa: " Hang on I'll get the keys to the car. "

Edwards: "How do you get negative score in charisma?!"
Kyle: "Because...you don't have any?"
Edwards:

Karno: "I GOT EATEN BY A SLIME!?! What the hell does that mean!?!"

Corg: "That you're truly pathetic?"

Robotech Master: "What the hell do you mean all THREE of us take critical damage?! Only one of us physically rolled?!"
GM: "'The Three Who Act as One' comes back to bite you in the ass."
RM: "That's a filthy micronian trick and you know it!"

Arnie100 wrote:Edwards: "How do you get negative score in charisma?!"
Kyle: "Because...you don't have any?"
Edwards:

SRoss wrote:Karno: "I GOT EATEN BY A SLIME!?! What the hell does that mean!?!"

Corg: "That you're truly pathetic?"

taalismn wrote:Robotech Master: "What the hell do you mean all THREE of us take critical damage?! Only one of us physically rolled?!"
GM: "'The Three Who Act as One' comes back to bite you in the ass."
RM: "That's a filthy micronian trick and you know it!"

Edwards: "And this eye, I lost in the Grand Cannon disaster! It was the Hunters' fau-"
Leonard: "Actually he lost it to a self-inflicted wound."
Edwards: "What the -?! LEONARD!"
Leonard: "- he fumbled a roll to feed himself and stabbed himself in the eye with a forkful of linguini..."
Edwards: "LEONARD! I SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO MAKE A SKILL ROLL TO EAT DINNER!! DAMN GM!!!"

taalismn wrote:Edwards: "And this eye, I lost in the Grand Cannon disaster! It was the Hunters' fau-"
Leonard: "Actually he lost it to a self-inflicted wound."
Edwards: "What the -?! LEONARD!"
Leonard: "- he fumbled a roll to feed himself and stabbed himself in the eye with a forkful of linguini..."
Edwards: "LEONARD! I SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO MAKE A SKILL ROLL TO EAT DINNER!! DAMN GM!!!"

taalismn wrote:Edwards: "And this eye, I lost in the Grand Cannon disaster! It was the Hunters' fau-"
Leonard: "Actually he lost it to a self-inflicted wound."
Edwards: "What the -?! LEONARD!"
Leonard: "- he fumbled a roll to feed himself and stabbed himself in the eye with a forkful of linguini..."
Edwards: "LEONARD! I SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO MAKE A SKILL ROLL TO EAT DINNER!! DAMN GM!!!"

" You know you are a hard core role play gamer when... "

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Edwards: "And this eye, I lost in the Grand Cannon disaster! It was the Hunters' fau-"
Leonard: "Actually he lost it to a self-inflicted wound."
Edwards: "What the -?! LEONARD!"
Leonard: "- he fumbled a roll to feed himself and stabbed himself in the eye with a forkful of linguini..."
Edwards: "LEONARD! I SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO MAKE A SKILL ROLL TO EAT DINNER!! DAMN GM!!!"

" You know you are a hard core role play gamer when... "

"Oh, you are NOT going to make me roll for THAT! Just NO!"
"Because you're afraid of a fumble?"
"Because I REALLY don't want to know what you consider a Critical Success bowel movement..."

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Edwards: "And this eye, I lost in the Grand Cannon disaster! It was the Hunters' fau-"
Leonard: "Actually he lost it to a self-inflicted wound."
Edwards: "What the -?! LEONARD!"
Leonard: "- he fumbled a roll to feed himself and stabbed himself in the eye with a forkful of linguini..."
Edwards: "LEONARD! I SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO MAKE A SKILL ROLL TO EAT DINNER!! DAMN GM!!!"

" You know you are a hard core role play gamer when... "

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Edwards: "And this eye, I lost in the Grand Cannon disaster! It was the Hunters' fau-"
Leonard: "Actually he lost it to a self-inflicted wound."
Edwards: "What the -?! LEONARD!"
Leonard: "- he fumbled a roll to feed himself and stabbed himself in the eye with a forkful of linguini..."
Edwards: "LEONARD! I SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO MAKE A SKILL ROLL TO EAT DINNER!! DAMN GM!!!"

" You know you are a hard core role play gamer when... "

"Oh, you are NOT going to make me roll for THAT! Just NO!"
"Because you're afraid of a fumble?"
"Because I REALLY don't want to know what you consider a Critical Success bowel movement..."

"How do you roll a double one?!"
"With two dice?"
"Har har."

Arnie100 wrote:"How do you roll a double one?!"
"With two dice?"
"Har har."

When you roll a double critical failure you KNOW you p***ed off the gods of gaming.

Remember FEAR the DM/GM for the control your fate.

"FOLD DRIVE FAILURE????!!! WE DON'T EVEN -HAVE- A FOLD DRIVE!!!"
"Told 'ya you shouldn't have pouched the GM's last Mountain Dew."

taalismn wrote:"FOLD DRIVE FAILURE????!!! WE DON'T EVEN -HAVE- A FOLD DRIVE!!!"
"Told 'ya you shouldn't have pouched the GM's last Mountain Dew."

Or pouching the GM's last piece of beef jerky will lead to a fate too horrfiying for the minds of all the insane gods to comprehend.

If the GM bought the pizza, DO NOT TAKE THE LAST SLICE ON PAIN OF DEATH.

Arnie100 wrote:If the GM bought the pizza, DO NOT TAKE THE LAST SLICE ON PAIN OF DEATH.

That is so true, remember people 99.99% of charater deaths are caused by a hungry and p***ed off DM/GM

That's why, in this thread, Sean Phillips and Angelo Dante have shown AWESOME genre-savvy by bringing pizza and beer to every GM'ed game they've been invited to/drafted into. They KNOW the wisdom of feeding the GM-godbeing.

Others in the Blooper'verse have made the mistake of offering blood sacrifice for preferential treatment. This has backfired badly because they've inevitably sacrificed T.R. Edwards, Lynn Kyle, Corg, Karno, and occasionally Senator Russo...all of whose blood sacrifice value is like trying to buy a starship with Vientnamese dong(the relative value of which means you'd likely have to fork over so many of the banknotes such that their mass would equal that of the Moon).

"Alright! Which of you two ate the last slice of pizza?!"
Edwards: "Uhm..." (Points at Kyle)
Kyle: "Traitor!" (Pizza sauce still on lips)

Arnie100 wrote:"Alright! Which of you two ate the last slice of pizza?!"
Edwards: "Uhm..." (Points at Kyle)
Kyle: "Traitor!" (Pizza sauce still on lips)

"Due to a higher than normal rate of pilferage of my pizza, I've had this pie, which I have specifically told the lot of you NOT TO EAT, and wrapped in biohazard tape and multiple warning stickers a blind man could see beyond the curvature of the Earth on an overcast day, laced with a highly toxic substance that, through long exposure and desensitization, I am wholly immune to. And yet, despite this, half of my pizza is already gone without me touching it!"
"Ah...I just remembered something....gotta go pick up something...like a stomach pump..."
"I remembered something too...sick relative..gotta go visit...emergency room..."
"...I can't feel my legs...."

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:"Alright! Which of you two ate the last slice of pizza?!"
Edwards: "Uhm..." (Points at Kyle)
Kyle: "Traitor!" (Pizza sauce still on lips)

"Due to a higher than normal rate of pilferage of my pizza, I've had this pie, which I have specifically told the lot of you NOT TO EAT, and wrapped in biohazard tape and multiple warning stickers a blind man could see beyond the curvature of the Earth on an overcast day, laced with a highly toxic substance that, through long exposure and desensitization, I am wholly immune to. And yet, despite this, half of my pizza is already gone without me touching it!"
"Ah...I just remembered something....gotta go pick up something...like a stomach pump..."
"I remembered something too...sick relative..gotta go visit...emergency room..."
"...I can't feel my legs...."

Damn that must some kick ass pizza to have some one ignore the risk to life and limb.

Kargan3033 wrote:[

Damn that must some kick ass pizza to have some one ignore the risk to life and limb.

Free food+big appetites = dumbass gluttony.

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:[

Damn that must some kick ass pizza to have some one ignore the risk to life and limb.

Free food+big appetites = dumbass gluttony.

Unless you are a DM/GM controled NPC/Monster then the game is an all you can eat buffet of player characters.

Kargan3033 wrote:[

Unless you are a DM/GM controled NPC/Monster then the game is an all you can eat buffet of player characters.

PC: "Why is it suddenly raining...barbecue sauce?!"

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:[

Unless you are a DM/GM controled NPC/Monster then the game is an all you can eat buffet of player characters.

PC: "Why is it suddenly raining...barbecue sauce?!"

Cue the Jaws music.

Arnie100 wrote:"How do you roll a double one?!"
"With two dice?"
"Har har."

Kargan3033 wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:"How do you roll a double one?!"
"With two dice?"
"Har har."

When you roll a double critical failure you KNOW you p***ed off the gods of gaming.

Remember FEAR the DM/GM for the control your fate.

taalismn wrote:"FOLD DRIVE FAILURE????!!! WE DON'T EVEN -HAVE- A FOLD DRIVE!!!"
"Told 'ya you shouldn't have pouched the GM's last Mountain Dew."

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:"FOLD DRIVE FAILURE????!!! WE DON'T EVEN -HAVE- A FOLD DRIVE!!!"
"Told 'ya you shouldn't have pouched the GM's last Mountain Dew."

Or pouching the GM's last piece of beef jerky will lead to a fate too horrfiying for the minds of all the insane gods to comprehend.

Arnie100 wrote:If the GM bought the pizza, DO NOT TAKE THE LAST SLICE ON PAIN OF DEATH.

Kargan3033 wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:If the GM bought the pizza, DO NOT TAKE THE LAST SLICE ON PAIN OF DEATH.

That is so true, remember people 99.99% of charater deaths are caused by a hungry and p***ed off DM/GM

taalismn wrote:That's why, in this thread, Sean Phillips and Angelo Dante have shown AWESOME genre-savvy by bringing pizza and beer to every GM'ed game they've been invited to/drafted into. They KNOW the wisdom of feeding the GM-godbeing.

Others in the Blooper'verse have made the mistake of offering blood sacrifice for preferential treatment. This has backfired badly because they've inevitably sacrificed T.R. Edwards, Lynn Kyle, Corg, Karno, and occasionally Senator Russo...all of whose blood sacrifice value is like trying to buy a starship with Vientnamese dong(the relative value of which means you'd likely have to fork over so many of the banknotes such that their mass would equal that of the Moon).

Arnie100 wrote:"Alright! Which of you two ate the last slice of pizza?!"
Edwards: "Uhm..." (Points at Kyle)
Kyle: "Traitor!" (Pizza sauce still on lips)

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:"Alright! Which of you two ate the last slice of pizza?!"
Edwards: "Uhm..." (Points at Kyle)
Kyle: "Traitor!" (Pizza sauce still on lips)

"Due to a higher than normal rate of pilferage of my pizza, I've had this pie, which I have specifically told the lot of you NOT TO EAT, and wrapped in biohazard tape and multiple warning stickers a blind man could see beyond the curvature of the Earth on an overcast day, laced with a highly toxic substance that, through long exposure and desensitization, I am wholly immune to. And yet, despite this, half of my pizza is already gone without me touching it!"
"Ah...I just remembered something....gotta go pick up something...like a stomach pump..."
"I remembered something too...sick relative..gotta go visit...emergency room..."
"...I can't feel my legs...."

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:"Alright! Which of you two ate the last slice of pizza?!"
Edwards: "Uhm..." (Points at Kyle)
Kyle: "Traitor!" (Pizza sauce still on lips)

"Due to a higher than normal rate of pilferage of my pizza, I've had this pie, which I have specifically told the lot of you NOT TO EAT, and wrapped in biohazard tape and multiple warning stickers a blind man could see beyond the curvature of the Earth on an overcast day, laced with a highly toxic substance that, through long exposure and desensitization, I am wholly immune to. And yet, despite this, half of my pizza is already gone without me touching it!"
"Ah...I just remembered something....gotta go pick up something...like a stomach pump..."
"I remembered something too...sick relative..gotta go visit...emergency room..."
"...I can't feel my legs...."

Damn that must some kick ass pizza to have some one ignore the risk to life and limb.

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:[

Damn that must some kick ass pizza to have some one ignore the risk to life and limb.

Free food+big appetites = dumbass gluttony.

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:[

Damn that must some kick ass pizza to have some one ignore the risk to life and limb.

Free food+big appetites = dumbass gluttony.

Unless you are a DM/GM controled NPC/Monster then the game is an all you can eat buffet of player characters.

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:[

Unless you are a DM/GM controled NPC/Monster then the game is an all you can eat buffet of player characters.

PC: "Why is it suddenly raining...barbecue sauce?!"

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:[

Unless you are a DM/GM controled NPC/Monster then the game is an all you can eat buffet of player characters.

PC: "Why is it suddenly raining...barbecue sauce?!"

Cue the Jaws music.

And you know you've gone to for with the GM when this happens: http://daily-steampunk.com/steampunk-bl ... armour.jpg

Alpha 11 wrote: And you know you've gone to for with the GM when this happens: http://daily-steampunk.com/steampunk-bl ... armour.jpg

" The Dark Gods frown on your sheniagins! "

"Force Choke across gaming table."
"LOOK OUT!!!KILLER GM!!!"

taalismn wrote:"Force Choke across gaming table."
"LOOK OUT!!!KILLER GM!!!"

Ya that does have it's apeal but for me I like the classic real life Killer Dungeon myself, my younger brother Arcade says I have a real talent for crafting them.

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:"Force Choke across gaming table."
"LOOK OUT!!!KILLER GM!!!"

Ya that does have it's apeal but for me I like the classic real life Killer Dungeon myself, my younger brother Arcade says I have a real talent for crafting them.

Real Life Physics are the real PC Killing B****.

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:"Force Choke across gaming table."
"LOOK OUT!!!KILLER GM!!!"

Ya that does have it's apeal but for me I like the classic real life Killer Dungeon myself, my younger brother Arcade says I have a real talent for crafting them.

Real Life Physics are the real PC Killing B****.

That they are and best of all most of them are so simple that even a first stage Invid can use them.

Kargan3033 wrote:

Alpha 11 wrote: And you know you've gone to for with the GM when this happens: http://daily-steampunk.com/steampunk-bl ... armour.jpg

" The Dark Gods frown on your sheniagins! "

taalismn wrote:"Force Choke across gaming table."
"LOOK OUT!!!KILLER GM!!!"

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:"Force Choke across gaming table."
"LOOK OUT!!!KILLER GM!!!"

Ya that does have it's apeal but for me I like the classic real life Killer Dungeon myself, my younger brother Arcade says I have a real talent for crafting them.

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:"Force Choke across gaming table."
"LOOK OUT!!!KILLER GM!!!"

Ya that does have it's apeal but for me I like the classic real life Killer Dungeon myself, my younger brother Arcade says I have a real talent for crafting them.

Real Life Physics are the real PC Killing B****.

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:"Force Choke across gaming table."
"LOOK OUT!!!KILLER GM!!!"

Ya that does have it's apeal but for me I like the classic real life Killer Dungeon myself, my younger brother Arcade says I have a real talent for crafting them.

Real Life Physics are the real PC Killing B****.

That they are and best of all most of them are so simple that even a first stage Invid can use them.

Kyle: "Let's get out of here!!! Ow! Ouch! Help! I'm crippled!!!"

GM: "Say what you will... D4's make excellent caltrops."

SRoss wrote:Kyle: "Let's get out of here!!! Ow! Ouch! Help! I'm crippled!!!"

GM: "Say what you will... D4's make excellent caltrops."

And thousand-sided make good catapult ammo.

"Damn...AGAIN!!!"
"Ohhhh...every roll of yours was a ONE, Kyle??"
"Oh...NO. That was 12 DICE...

Arnie100 wrote:"Damn...AGAIN!!!"
"Ohhhh...every roll of yours was a ONE, Kyle??"
"Oh...NO. That was 12 DICE...

He always rolls with SERIOUS penalties....He dreads any rolls with a d4 r d6, since it raises the almost certainty he'll get a NEGATIVE score.

SRoss wrote:Kyle: "Let's get out of here!!! Ow! Ouch! Help! I'm crippled!!!"

GM: "Say what you will... D4's make excellent caltrops."

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:Kyle: "Let's get out of here!!! Ow! Ouch! Help! I'm crippled!!!"

GM: "Say what you will... D4's make excellent caltrops."

And thousand-sided make good catapult ammo.

Arnie100 wrote:"Damn...AGAIN!!!"
"Ohhhh...every roll of yours was a ONE, Kyle??"
"Oh...NO. That was 12 DICE...

taalismn wrote:

Arnie100 wrote:"Damn...AGAIN!!!"
"Ohhhh...every roll of yours was a ONE, Kyle??"
"Oh...NO. That was 12 DICE...

He always rolls with SERIOUS penalties....He dreads any rolls with a d4 r d6, since it raises the almost certainty he'll get a NEGATIVE score.

Khyron: "I don't mind losing..."
Kyle: "That's because you play strip-D&D with your WIFE."
Khyron: "Yep....."
Kyle: "Smug bastard..."

taalismn wrote:Khyron: "I don't mind losing..."
Kyle: "That's because you play strip-D&D with your WIFE."
Khyron: "Yep....."
Kyle: "Smug bastard..."

Khyron: "At least I've got a woman! Wait...Kyle, have you ever kissed a girl who wasn't your cousin?"
Minmei: "Oh, God...don't remind me..." (Runs to the bathroom, followed by the sound of someone throwing up)

Lynn Kyle: The Lost Years
Or: "What I Was Doing Before I Got Kicked Out of College and Found My Way to the SDF-1."

Female Voice: "...just what were we drinking?"
Kyle: "...I dunno...but it's green..."
Female Voice(same as before): "....dear god, I think the building's on fire..."
Kyle:"...that's the sun. I think we're outside..."
FV: "....my head hurts..."
Kyle: ".....mine too..."
FV: "...serious hangover...."
Kyle: "..agreed..."
FV: "....next question..."
Kyle: "..I hate pop quizzes..."
FV: "...are you wearing pants?"
Kyle: "...I don't think so..."
FV: "...okay...where are MY pants?..."
Kyle: "...dunno....you're not wearing them?"
FV: "...my headache just got worse..."
Kyle: "...mine too..."
FV: "...blame it on the military?"
Kyle: "...yeah....that works for me..."

Arnie100 wrote:Khyron: "At least I've got a woman! Wait...Kyle, have you ever kissed a girl who wasn't your cousin?"
Minmei: "Oh, God...don't remind me..." (Runs to the bathroom, followed by the sound of someone throwing up)

taalismn wrote:Lynn Kyle: The Lost Years
Or: "What I Was Doing Before I Got Kicked Out of College and Found My Way to the SDF-1."

Female Voice: "...just what were we drinking?"
Kyle: "...I dunno...but it's green..."
Female Voice(same as before): "....dear god, I think the building's on fire..."
Kyle:"...that's the sun. I think we're outside..."
FV: "....my head hurts..."
Kyle: ".....mine too..."
FV: "...serious hangover...."
Kyle: "..agreed..."
FV: "....next question..."
Kyle: "..I hate pop quizzes..."
FV: "...are you wearing pants?"
Kyle: "...I don't think so..."
FV: "...okay...where are MY pants?..."
Kyle: "...dunno....you're not wearing them?"
FV: "...my headache just got worse..."
Kyle: "...mine too..."
FV: "...blame it on the military?"
Kyle: "...yeah....that works for me..."

taalismn wrote:Lynn Kyle: The Lost Years
Or: "What I Was Doing Before I Got Kicked Out of College and Found My Way to the SDF-1."

Female Voice: "...just what were we drinking?"
Kyle: "...I dunno...but it's green..."
Female Voice(same as before): "....dear god, I think the building's on fire..."
Kyle:"...that's the sun. I think we're outside..."
FV: "....my head hurts..."
Kyle: ".....mine too..."
FV: "...serious hangover...."
Kyle: "..agreed..."
FV: "....next question..."
Kyle: "..I hate pop quizzes..."
FV: "...are you wearing pants?"
Kyle: "...I don't think so..."
FV: "...okay...where are MY pants?..."
Kyle: "...dunno....you're not wearing them?"
FV: "...my headache just got worse..."
Kyle: "...mine too..."
FV: "...blame it on the military?"
Kyle: "...yeah....that works for me..."

Heh, sounds like some one was having a 60's moment.

Things Dr. Lang did that people wish he didn't do (but he did anyways):

1. Creating the "perfect" Pollinator:

"Dr. the botanical garden called, they're suing you for introducing multiple invasive animals."

"But I only made one O_o"

2. Going on a drunken binge and somehow made a miracle:

Gloval: "What do you mean he doesn't remember how he made another Matrix!"

Intern: "He did it in a drunken haze."

Gloval: "Maybe he will remember how if we give him enough like last time."

Intern: "By the time he makes the fifth one we would run out of booze."

Gloval: "In town?"

Intern: "In the world."