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taalismn wrote:Vanessa: "So...you want me to clean out the cutting room?"
SRoss:"Indeed...the floor's covered with cut blooper footage, censored quips, false starts, lame jokes, stale material...it's piling up faster and thicker than plaque in a couch potato's arteries."
Vanessa: "Sweeping up a floor? That sounds sorta...menial..."
Chronicler: "That's why you have the power armor suit."
Vanessa: "Huh?"
SRoss: "The old material's on old cellulose stock and magnetic tape. That stuff gets lit, it goes up like gun cotton. UNless you're fully protected, we're talking MASSIVE flashburns."
Chronicler: "Thank heavens for the switchover to digital media..now all we have to worry about is EMP."
taalismn wrote:"So, Scott, heard you had an attack of 'were-Pollinatoris' a ways back? You feeling better?"
"Yeah, Rand. I'm fine. Whatever it was in that drink Alex gave me, well, it only affects me during a full moon."
"...but Scott, we're ON the Moon right now. Technically it's full ALL the time."
"Rand, I'm pretty sure that's not how it wo*POOF*...yerp?"
It took thirty-six stitches to close all the bite wounds and he'd be off that ankle for a week, but Rand decided it was totally worth it...
glitterboy2098 wrote:hmm.. wouldn't a werecreature on a the moon be effected by the phases of the earth?
taalismn wrote:glitterboy2098 wrote:hmm.. wouldn't a werecreature on a the moon be effected by the phases of the earth?
"Thank god I got Rand's comment out of my head! 'Full moon' indeed! If anything, it would be phases of the Earth instead, like the full Earth right over, ohfu-*POOF!*uuf..."
SRoss wrote:taalismn wrote:glitterboy2098 wrote:hmm.. wouldn't a werecreature on a the moon be effected by the phases of the earth?
"Thank god I got Rand's comment out of my head! 'Full moon' indeed! If anything, it would be phases of the Earth instead, like the full Earth right over, ohfu-*POOF!*uuf..."
Ariel: (Sigh)"Scott! Walkies!"
Rook: "Wait! Does were-Pollinatoris get passed by bites!?!"
taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:
Rook: "Wait! Does were-Pollinatoris get passed by bites!?!"
Rand: "No Rook, I'm sure that's not how that wo-*BAMPF*yip---"
Arnie100 wrote:Rook: "It's so...SMALL..."
taalismn wrote:Lunk: "Well, look who's in the doghouse."
Rand: ".....rrrrrrrrrr....."
Arnie100 wrote:Rook: "I think he'd look better in a hamster.cage."
Rand: "Heeeeyyyyy..."
taalismn wrote:*FORTY THOUSAND VOLTS OF RAW NAKED POWER*
Rand: (("Damn you, invisible fencing....!"))
Arnie100 wrote:Annie: "A furry cutie!! CAN I KEEP HIM?!
Rand: "OH, NOOOOOOOOO..."
Rook: "Of course, you can, Annie! Have fun with your nee PET!"
Annie: "I'm gonna.love and squeeze..." (As she happily skips away)
taalismn wrote:Sera: "Rook? Why's there a raccoon on its back in your yard, on fire?"
Rook: "That's Rand, playing with the electric fence."
Sera: "...right. The 'on fire' part should have been the give-away."
SRoss wrote:Louie: "And people thought I was mad when I wired the electric fence directly to the Reflex Furnace..."
taalismn wrote:"So Rand must be taking the loss of his physical humanity pretty hard if he's...well, you know.."
"Know what?"
"...trying to commit suicide by electric fence."
"Oh, it's not that bad, but the REF doctors and scientists aren't very optimistic about finding a cure, so he may have to face some harsh realities..."
"Hi, Rook. Sera, love. Rook? Why's Rand lying naked and on fire in your yard?"
"...trust him to find a cure by accident."
SRoss wrote:Louie: "And people thought I was mad when I wired the electric fence directly to the Reflex Furnace..."
taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:Louie: "And people thought I was mad when I wired the electric fence directly to the Reflex Furnace..."
This WOULD explain why his patio bugzapper is surrounded by dead Invid mecha.
taalismn wrote:"Rook, why's Corg lying facedown in your birdbath?"
"Damn! Wanna help me dispose of a body?"
"You got a woodchipper and a pitchfork?"
taalismn wrote:"We got three bottles of tabasco sauce. Will that help?"
taalismn wrote:"We got three bottles of tabasco sauce. Will that help?"
SRoss wrote:taalismn wrote:"We got three bottles of tabasco sauce. Will that help?"
Gura Invid Lisa #1: "We'll take those."
Gura Invid Lisa #2: (pointing at Corg's corpse) "And that too!"
Corg: "Wait! I'm not dead! I was just stunned!!!"
Gura Invid Lisa #3: "Even better."
taalismn wrote:"Adrenaline just adds spice to the meal."
taalismn wrote:"Fancy that...Corg made a fast 'recovery'..."
"Yeah, figure that."
"Good turn of speed on him."
"Yep."
"He had to cut across Leonard's lawn."
"Yeah."
"Did you know he had landmines?"
"Suspected it."
"Poor Corg."
"My heart bleeds."
taalismn wrote:Leonard: "Damn building ordinances! I wanted to put in a moat!"
Emerson: "Your place is in Florida, why not wait for the rains to come and the sinkholes to form?"
taalismn wrote:Shot of an Ikazuchi carrier coasting through space.
crink
Suddenly the front end of the ship bends at a right angle up and back....
crinkle
Then the remaining front of the ship creases laterally...
krikflutthwhap
The ship begins bending and compressing from both ends with increasing speed....
fwapfippapkirikzootkrinkle
...until the ship is an ever shrinking triangle...
fipfootZOOK
...then it's gone.
--------
In another part of the universe, empty space-
ZOOPkrinkfipfapfibbleflootzipzortwallywallbingbang
-the Ikazuchi from before seems to inflate from nowhere, its hull straightening out to its original size and shape
FwopfoobpingPANG
Shot of ship's bridge as a rather mussed-looking Captain is straightening out his uniform while behind the rather disheveled-looking bridge crew, the walls are still finishing expanding back to their original shape.
"...I really wish the designers weren't so LITERAL when it came to the new Fold Drive..."
taalismn wrote:The Origami Drive. It's very complicated, and tough on the nerves, but with the protoculture shortage, the UEEF has to make do...
taalismn wrote:Of course, one of the big downsides of the Origami Drive is that occasionally a ship will deFold into a different shape...like a paper hat, paper airplane, or a swan.
taalismn wrote:"Okay, because this is your first Fold operation, when the Captain announces we're Folding, check around you and make sure you're NOT straddling a dotted line on the deck."
taalismn wrote:Of course, one of the big downsides of the Origami Drive is that occasionally a ship will deFold into a different shape...like a paper hat, paper airplane, or a swan.
glitterboy2098 wrote:taalismn wrote:Of course, one of the big downsides of the Origami Drive is that occasionally a ship will deFold into a different shape...like a paper hat, paper airplane, or a swan.
if your really lucky, your Ikazuchi just became an Izumo.
if your really unlucky, it becomes a garfish..
SRoss wrote:Kirk: "Um, when did the Gargoyle become a Pinto?"
glitterboy2098 wrote:taalismn wrote:Of course, one of the big downsides of the Origami Drive is that occasionally a ship will deFold into a different shape...like a paper hat, paper airplane, or a swan.
if your really lucky, your Ikazuchi just became an Izumo.
if your really unlucky, it becomes a garfish..
taalismn wrote:glitterboy2098 wrote:taalismn wrote:Of course, one of the big downsides of the Origami Drive is that occasionally a ship will deFold into a different shape...like a paper hat, paper airplane, or a swan.
if your really lucky, your Ikazuchi just became an Izumo.
if your really unlucky, it becomes a garfish..
If your luck really sucks, it becomes a Mollusc.
SRoss wrote:Kirk: "Um, when did the Gargoyle become a Pinto?"
taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:Kirk: "Um, when did the Gargoyle become a Pinto?"
Only to be friendly-fired/golden-bb'ed by the support tender Ralph Nader?*
*Worse yet, the UESS RN wasn't even using its point defense weaponry, which was its only armament, it was ejecting industrial waste on a sun-dive trajectory when it effectively massdriver'ed the Gargoyle.
SRoss wrote:*Oddly enough, the waste just tapped the back bumper...
SRoss wrote:*Oddly enough, the waste just tapped the back bumper...
taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:*Oddly enough, the waste just tapped the back bumper...
...which pushed a structural member into a deuterium slush tank.....
taalismn wrote:"Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!!!"
"...and I'd just quit smoking, too.."
taalismn wrote:Oddly enough, the UESS Ralph Nader was one of the few main fleet ships that stubbornly refused to go into FTL of its own accord; despite having Fold Drives, it had to hitch a ride with other ships whenever going interstellar.
taalismn wrote:The Origami Drive. It's very complicated, and tough on the nerves, but with the protoculture shortage, the UEEF has to make do...
SRoss wrote:Louie: "Wow! Imagine if we could plug the Regess into that?"
Every Sane Person in the room:
Kargan3033 wrote:taalismn wrote:The Origami Drive. It's very complicated, and tough on the nerves, but with the protoculture shortage, the UEEF has to make do...
Unamed Ship'smen " Say Dr.Lang what is this new Origami drive powered with since we are all out of protocultre? "
Dr.Lang:" The single most powerful force in the univerce, female sexual frustration. "
Unamed Ship'smen#2:" Ah so that's why Minmi is in a cryo tank and more wried up then pirated stattlite rescevers. "
Unamed BSS trooper:"Ya but the waste bi products are worse Gensis Pit mutagens. "
Rick:" Just as planed. "
taalismn wrote:Kargan3033 wrote:taalismn wrote:The Origami Drive. It's very complicated, and tough on the nerves, but with the protoculture shortage, the UEEF has to make do...
Unamed Ship'smen " Say Dr.Lang what is this new Origami drive powered with since we are all out of protocultre? "
Dr.Lang:" The single most powerful force in the univerce, female sexual frustration. "
Unamed Ship'smen#2:" Ah so that's why Minmi is in a cryo tank and more wried up then pirated stattlite rescevers. "
Unamed BSS trooper:"Ya but the waste bi products are worse Gensis Pit mutagens. "
Rick:" Just as planed. "
"Lang....check your German-Japanese-English translation dictionary again?"
"Why?"
"Just a hunch that that doesn't mean what you think it means."
"Ah...can we put that on hold until I check something?!"taalismn wrote:"I'm just glad we straightened this out before the big magic show we're throwing for the Tirolian orphans..."
Kargan3033 wrote:taalismn wrote:"I'm just glad we straightened this out before the big magic show we're throwing for the Tirolian orphans..."
And for reasons known only to the gods the term " The Magic Of Robotechnolgy. " takes on a very sinster meaning.
taalismn wrote:More like the 'wonders of speed-dial':
"Whattaya mean, you're canceling? I already got the hookers lined up..."
Kargan3033 wrote:taalismn wrote:The Origami Drive. It's very complicated, and tough on the nerves, but with the protoculture shortage, the UEEF has to make do...
Unamed Ship'smen " Say Dr.Lang what is this new Origami drive powered with since we are all out of protocultre? "
Dr.Lang:" The single most powerful force in the univerce, female sexual frustration. "
Unamed Ship'smen#2:" Ah so that's why Minmi is in a cryo tank and more wried up then pirated stattlite rescevers. "
Unamed BSS trooper:"Ya but the waste bi products are worse Gensis Pit mutagens. "
Rick:" Just as planed. "
SRoss wrote:Louie: "Wow! Imagine if we could plug the Regess into that?"
Every Sane Person in the room:
Kargan3033 wrote:SRoss wrote:Louie: "Wow! Imagine if we could plug the Regess into that?"
Every Sane Person in the room:
Dr.Smith:" Well that's one way to put the spark in her love life., make it so! "
taalismn wrote:Kargan3033 wrote:taalismn wrote:The Origami Drive. It's very complicated, and tough on the nerves, but with the protoculture shortage, the UEEF has to make do...
Unamed Ship'smen " Say Dr.Lang what is this new Origami drive powered with since we are all out of protocultre? "
Dr.Lang:" The single most powerful force in the univerce, female sexual frustration. "
Unamed Ship'smen#2:" Ah so that's why Minmi is in a cryo tank and more wried up then pirated stattlite rescevers. "
Unamed BSS trooper:"Ya but the waste bi products are worse Gensis Pit mutagens. "
Rick:" Just as planed. "
"Lang....check your German-Japanese-English translation dictionary again?"
"Why?"
"Just a hunch that that doesn't mean what you think it means."
Kargan3033 wrote:taalismn wrote:Kargan3033 wrote:taalismn wrote:The Origami Drive. It's very complicated, and tough on the nerves, but with the protoculture shortage, the UEEF has to make do...
Unamed Ship'smen " Say Dr.Lang what is this new Origami drive powered with since we are all out of protocultre? "
Dr.Lang:" The single most powerful force in the univerce, female sexual frustration. "
Unamed Ship'smen#2:" Ah so that's why Minmi is in a cryo tank and more wried up then pirated stattlite rescevers. "
Unamed BSS trooper:"Ya but the waste bi products are worse Gensis Pit mutagens. "
Rick:" Just as planed. "
"Lang....check your German-Japanese-English translation dictionary again?"
"Why?"
"Just a hunch that that doesn't mean what you think it means."
Lang:Ahh so I mispoke my thoughts, well even though my IQ is nealy into the four diget range it's not mean I'm perfect, languages have always been most trobulsum for me even as a boy.
taalismn wrote:"I'm just glad we straightened this out before the big magic show we're throwing for the Tirolian orphans..."
Kargan3033 wrote:taalismn wrote:"I'm just glad we straightened this out before the big magic show we're throwing for the Tirolian orphans..."
And for reasons known only to the gods the term " The Magic Of Robotechnolgy. " takes on a very sinster meaning.
taalismn wrote:Kargan3033 wrote:taalismn wrote:"I'm just glad we straightened this out before the big magic show we're throwing for the Tirolian orphans..."
And for reasons known only to the gods the term " The Magic Of Robotechnolgy. " takes on a very sinster meaning.
More like the 'wonders of speed-dial':
"Whattaya mean, you're canceling? I already got the hookers lined up..."
Kargan3033 wrote:taalismn wrote:More like the 'wonders of speed-dial':
"Whattaya mean, you're canceling? I already got the hookers lined up..."
The Forth Wall Gods are *displeased*
taalismn wrote:#ring-ring-ring# *BEEP* "Hello, Gendo? T.R. Edwards here. Had to take a breather here in Bloopers...apparently we slipped threads again, and the crossovers thread has Minmei basically MASSACRING my bridge crew with nothing but Kyle's gnawed-off foot to start with, and ending up jamming my arm, gun and all, so far down my throat, I'm farting 9mm caseless. Unless she's hanging with Frank Castle or Kenshiro, it's a sign of a thread-slip, so while she's busy over there, it should be relatively safe here in the Bloopers for a while. Thought you'd appreciate having someplace to lay low for a few. If you can't make it, I understand. And if you're tapping this line, GMP, I've already moved my location, so don't bother trying to backtrack and triangulate on me. Bye-bye!"
