How to find players you like?

[Cyrano de Maniac]

I couldn't find a particular forum this topic is well-suited to, but the G.M.'s Forum seemed reasonable. Actually Gamers Looking For Other Gamers looked much more reasonable, but let's face it, nobody visits there for discussion.

How would you go about finding a group of players who will be reasonably reliable, fun to play with, lacking in real-world drama, and who enjoy role-playing but realize it's just entertainment, not a lifestyle?

Here's what I mean. I'm can see 40 years on this planet coming at me well enough that I can make out its face. The last role-playing group I was with was great, however circumstances and priorities in life have changed such that I cannot game on the same night of the week as they do, and as such I've not role-played in four or five years. At the same time I find myself majorly jonesing for a role-playing fix, to the point where I'd be happy to GM (something I've never done) to make it happen. However, despite living in a major metropolitan area (Twin Cities), I don't actually know any active role-players other than my old group.

I stop by our awesome local gaming shop, and occasionally glance back at the gaming area, and my skin crawls a bit. I mean, I'm not a snob, but seriously the people I see there are stereotype central. How on earth the shop staff manages to babysit the young 'uns and not go postal is beyond me. And the adult players? Yikes! Faded black gaming T-shirts, the death-palor of a junk food diet, sunken eyes, and generally unkempt all around. Well except the skinny hyperactive rules-lawyer bugging out about heaven-knows-what transgression against All That Is Natural and Holy [TM].

Yeah, that last paragraph makes me sound like a grade-A first-class judgmental butthole, heck maybe even a small bit of a hypocrite. I'm really really not, but honestly folks, can you tell me with a straight face that you're not occasionally afflicted by the same thoughts.

So, I'd like to round up grown-up gamers with a life outside role-playing. You know, the ones who have steady 9-5 jobs (or would if the economy could just turn itself around), maybe married or not, maybe kids of their own or not. Paying on a mortgage. They enjoy a good game of Catan. Or Scrabble. Or pinochle. A family reunion is more important to them than a game night. But they'd like to dust off those RPG books they bought in college that have been sitting in the box in the basement. Or they'd be willing to spend a few bucks for a core book of some sort, and one or two supplements, but the new water heater takes precedence. Maybe they can take a night off to play once or twice a month -- but only at their place, because it's too expensive to get a babysitter and too much hassle to pack up the kids to drive them to your place. They sure as heck don't have dusty plastic dragon figurines and paintings of half-naked elven gothic warrior chicks decorating their living room, though there might be a Cthulhu-head mounted on a plaque like a taxidermy trophy lurking somewhere in the garage.

In other words, someone a lot like me. Well, OK, I'll fess up -- I do have these Firefly-themed Christmas ornaments decorating my fireplace mantel, and a copy of the Dark Crystal on VHS laying next to the TV. So sue me.

So, how the heck do I find some of those people?

Brent

[Cinos]

LGS has always been my staple of finding fresh blood or otherwise outsiders, mostly just getting the leg work done in person. But online sites can help (here, or hosted by other games). But it's more just slugging through it and trying to get lucky (Rather like dating, only with different endgames ). For you non-stereotypical folks, it can be a bit harder (I happen to fit a stereotype pretty well, enjoying my paper white skin and perpetual black eyes from a life riddle with insomnia and generally disliking the outdoors), but I know what you mean, that's largely been an uphill battle for a secondary hobby of mine (a table tops minis game), but my area's always had a rather militant outlook on gamers and their conduct, which helps immensely. By Non-Typical, I more mean "has a life outside of gaming" (Why I'll never know).

I've heard mixed success using Play by Post or online programs like OpenRPG, but I never could get the taste of them myself (so much harder to deal with unruly players when I can't threaten / use violence to keep order).

Wait a tick; South St. Paul? I happen to know gamer folks rather near there (This is assuming I know how to use a map). Try looking for Tower Games, some good guys there run Mini-Games there, should at least be able to point you in the right direction, if you want, I'll send the info via PM. I highly doubt they are familiar at all with Palladium (I know they do D&D stuff from time to time at least).

[Cyrano de Maniac]

Thanks for the thoughts and local recommendations Cinos. I'll look up Tower Games and stop by some time. There's another store I've been meaning to peek my head into as well, so perhaps it's a matter of doing some additional hunting around rather than always going to the same store all the time.

Brent

[St. Evil]

It pained me to go along w/ this however the group wanted "mature" players only. Because of this we have lost out on 3 potential gamers, a father/ son combo (who I wanted to try), and a 28 year old who had xp w/ the system, whom I have played table tops w/ before did not get along w/a core player. So based on this the first thing I would do is try to find out the average age of group, & like the previous poster stated "try a group on a trial basis". Happy hunting, a good group @ our age is something to enjoy.

[Athos]

Hmmm, that is truly a good question, where do you find players that match your game? I prefer locally run games, where you can kick back with a glass of wine and relax and have fun with friends you know, but I just moved last year and live out in the sticks half way between Tahoe and Sacramento, so that is not an option for me...

1) OpenRPG is where I play online. It is freely available table top software that allows you to put up maps, chat, roll dice, etc, and it works a LOT better than the palladium chatrooms, at least on my crappy satellite connection.

2) Advertise and Recruit. I have had the most luck with the forum : http://www.rpgobjects.com/forum/viewfor ... 77b745afec

3) Be HONEST. Let players know exactly what you expect from them. Don't say it's going to be an equal mix of combat and RP, and then be 90% RP, or vice versa. If you want an all SDC group, say so. Let the players decide if you are the right GM for them to commit to.

4) "There are no bad squads, just bad squad leaders." My first sergeant gave me that advice when I was in the army, it is true, if you are consistently having trouble, you might need to change your style. Just relax and remember it is a game. It should be fun for the players and fun for you, if not, something is wrong.

If you want to see how an online game is played, you are welcome to come to the Mayhem server on OpenRPG next Sunday at 6:00 pm EST and sit in on my game.

And if you are truly a firefly fan : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-yHSaP0 ... detailpage

[Gripmann]

Well I just got a real group going about 9 months ago. It took time to find gamers that I would want to game with. I skip all the unimportant stuff and get to the stuff you want to know.

1. Your old gaming group. As funny as that might sound one of them may know someone that would like to game, but can do it on their schedule (much like yourself). The other option is that one or two may want to join your game also.

2. Internet sites. They take a while and you'll have to find a way to weed out the tourist (gamers that just visit your game and leave after a couple of weeks), the power gamer, the rule lawyer, cat **** man, and the other well known types of unwanted gamers.

3. Your job. Depending on your line of work you may have a few people who closet game at your job or have the same want to game as you do. Unfortunately I was unable to do this since I work in a very corporate setting.

4. L.G.S. You can post on their boards that you are looking for games, but you will have to once again having a "weeding" process.

5. Bookstores. It's a very over looked place in the world of gaming, but if you find yourself in one, check out the RPG section. If it has a coffee shop in it as well take a seat and read one for a while. You can also just sit in the RPG section and read for a bit. Gamers will come in a read from time to time even if they don't want to buy anything in the section. Beside you may find an idea that you can use in your upcoming role as a GM.

All in all take your time and find good gamers. It took me about a year to get a solid group together so don't give up hope.